Last Updated on August 31, 2020

Let’s face it; when it comes to masturbation, most people are stuck in the same routine. Just because it gets the job done, doesn’t mean you are great at it. Often masturbation is associated with heavy shame baggage.

But maybe you are one of the lucky ones who has a healthy relationship with your solo sex experiences. And you consider yourself a pro at touching yourself because you can get off quickly. But have you ever thought about mixing things up and getting more from your masturbation?

Changing the way you masturbate can change your life. I have two questions for you:

  1. Is your masturbation a celebration of your body, and your ability to know pleasure, or is it a mindless habit?
  2. Do you use your solo sex to recharge and replenish yourself, or is it a hiccup – a release that makes you feel empty?

CELEBRATE MASTURBATION

It is time to put an end to the shame and blame around masturbation. Masturbation is essential, healthy, and natural when practiced with love and awareness. Many have lost the ability to arouse themselves, and it translates into stale sex life.

Making time for yourself to be in your pleasure is essential. Whether it is taking a hot shower or drumming to your heart’s content, fully embrace your ability to feel pleasure in your physical body. Savor, explore, pay attention to the body you live in. This releases tension from your body.

If the only way you release tension is through masturbating, then you are not able to reach higher states of pleasure. If you approach self-pleasure from an already relaxed place, the experience will be totally different.

Take in all the many ways that you are proud of yourself and relish the sensations. Feeling good is essential. You can rewire your brain to set its default setting to pleasure and bliss rather than stress.

You must schedule undisturbed ME time to feed yourself. Shifting from “doing” mode to “being.” Developing self-awareness and understanding of yourself is critical. If you can fill your cup, you will have so much more to give.

In reality, if you can’t give yourself the kind of love, touch, and attention you want, how can you expect someone else to do so?

LISTEN TO EPISODE 01 OF THE LOVE LAB PODCAST: IS IT OKAY TO MASTURBATE WHEN YOU ARE IN A RELATIONSHIP?

7 STEPS TO NEXT-LEVEL MASTURBATION

Get to know yourself and what turns you on. Put on your explorer hat and give yourself permission to unveil your sexual desires and preferences without judgment. Embrace your likes and dislikes as they are part of who you are and always evolving.

1. Prepare your space.

Create an inviting environment that is distraction free and sexy. Think sounds, smells, fabrics. Playing music makes a big difference. If you have toys you enjoy, make sure you have them ready.

2. Choose an intention.

You can use masturbation to work on something you want to bring more of in your life. Like your worthiness, or your amount of self-love.

3. Make it a full body experience.

Spend time massaging your erogenous zones and your full body, not just your genitals. Indulge your senses with scented oil.

4. Slow down.

Feel your sexual energy and build up the excitement. Surf the waves of pleasure, don’t rush it, this is all about awakening every cell in your body.

5. Be present with your body and sensations.

Are you lost in a fantasy? Or chasing a goal? Breathe and feel the sensations in your body. Allow your emotions to flow, whether it’s love, tears, pain, and allow yourself to go as crazy and wild as you want.

6. Try new moves.

Incorporate new moves or strokes and see how they feel, so you aren’t stuck in the same routine. Make sure you spread the energy into your entire body, not just focusing on the genitals, including your heart.

7. Savor, breathe, and relax.

Let your body release tension; don’t tense up to get an orgasm. This is not a sprint to the finish line. You have nowhere to go. Enjoy this unrushed experience.

I DARE YOU

Commit yourself to 30 days of self-pleasure. See how a month focused on your bliss can affect your life. It will not be a small benefit, be ready for a transformation.

Make pleasure a daily habit. It doesn’t have to go anywhere, and orgasm is not the goal; pleasure is benefit enough. When you spend more time in your bliss, it will help you feel more alive, connected, and free.

Find pleasure on purpose, as many times as you can each day. Seek it. It will gradually start to find you more and more.