To have an orgasm, most women need consistent and direct clitoral stimulation.

The clitoris is responsible for so much pleasure, yet is still elusive to many.

About 75 percent of all women never reach orgasm from intercourse alone. So you want to make sure to include her clitoris.

How To Find The Clitoris

At the top of the vulva is the glans or clitoral head. It is tucked inside the inner labia and often hiding under a hood.

What’s often forgotten is that the clitoris is much more than this tiny “bliss button” that tends to get all the attention. The clitoris also has a shaft and legs.

The entire clitoris, the head, the shaft, and the legs are all made up of erectile tissue, which means that they become engorged just like a penis when aroused.

Now that you are more familiar with the anatomy of the clitoris let’s dive in deeper.

Because let’s face it, if you know how to stroke the little man in the boat, then you will be a woman’s best friend.

Understanding The Clitoris

Most men don’t know what women genuinely like. The clitoris can be so sensitive to the touch that it can be overwhelming.

Often men, apply too much pressure, too soon.

The clitoris has about 8000 nerves ending, while the penis has about 4,000. That means that the clitoris is twice as sensitive.

And while a woman enjoys clitoral stimulation, she will enjoy it more if you’ve awakened her entire body first.

Start by activating the neighborhood and giving her a light petting over her entire vulva.

Include her inner thighs and lower belly. Massage towards her clitoris but not directly on it.

While doing so, you activate the circulation and bring blood to the area when stroking and massaging her. It will also allow her to relax more and get used to your touch.

Another great tension reliever is to apply acupressure on her labia. Start close to her perineum and move your way up until you reach the clitoris level.

Again, you aren’t directly on it; you are parallel to the clitoris.

Imagine that your touch is bringing in more circulation. The extra blood flow will create more engorgement, which will make your woman enjoy the sexual activity more.

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3 Moves To Stimulate Her Clitoris

Now that you’ve warmed her up, it’s time to approach her clitoris.

Always start with lighter pressure and increase as she gives you feedback.

Most women have a side that feels more sensitive. For many, it’s their upper left quadrant that feels the most sensations. Some will prefer the other side touched as it is a tad bit less sensitive, while others will want the left side, most responsive, to be touched.

If I were, to sum up how to touch a clitoris in one word, it would be rhythm. Stick to a consistent rhythm and stay with what works.

Remember, there’s no one way to do it. Each woman is unique, so you need to pay attention to her cues.

1. The circular motion

Circles are your friend. Use one or two fingers, or you could use your tongue to stimulate her clitoris in a circular motion.

Imagine her clit as a clock and move your tongue or finger around the clock.

Clockwise or counter-clockwise is up to you and her. When you are using your tongue, flick it now and then to counter the circle’s effect and give her something different. That way, her clitoris won’t be getting numb or too used to the movement.

Stick with your tempo, even if your finger or tongue is getting tired. Repetition and consistency are key.

You can also use your finger to trace slow circles around her clit and hood, and then circling her labia too for extra sensations.

2. Stroke the shaft

One of the ways that you can stimulate the shaft is to pull on it gently. It’s the same as you would do on your penis, especially if you aren’t circumcised and working with the foreskin.

You can tug the shaft up and down or roll it between your fingers. You can also do more of a jerking off motion if your woman likes it.

As you are playing and massaging the shaft, you stimulate a deeper part of the clitoris, which will feel good because it usually doesn’t get that much attention or stimulation.

The shaft is also less sensitive than the clitoris glans, so it can give her a chance to relax and build up more anticipation of you stimulating the glans.

LISTEN TO EPISODE 122 OF THE LOVE LAB PODCAST: THE RIGHT WAY TO GO DOWN ON HER – HOW TO EAT PUSSY LIKE A PRO

3. Suck on the clitoris

Create suction with your mouth over her clitoris. Think of it as a little like a vacuum pump action as you are gently sucking on her clitoris.

Imagine you are sucking on a straw, wrapping your lips over the clitoris, and suck like you would a nipple.

A bonus to the suction is that it is not a move that she can perform on herself. She needs someone else or a device to get that particular sensation.

A word of caution: sucking the clit can often get overwhelming, so start lightly and be prepared to back down if she tells you so. It is, however, a fantastic sensation if she can tolerate it.

Remember, it’s all about rhythm. Whatever you do, stick to the pace you’ve chosen and don’t change your cadence.

Give it enough time for your woman to enjoy and relax into it.

If she likes it and seems to want more, or if she’s asking you for more, then you can increase the pace, but don’t change all the time.

Look For Her Clitoral Erection

Now watch for the signs that you are doing a great job.

She can fake an orgasm, but her body can’t lie to you.

When your woman is aroused, her clitoris glans will pop, and it will look like a mini erection or what I call a “lady-boner.” Sometimes it will even gently pulse. It will also feel harder to the touch.

Notice the color changes as well. Your partner’s labia will darken, and her entire vulva will look swollen if you’ve taken the time to massage her thoroughly to increase the engorgement.

Make Her Cum

Make sure she surrenders, relaxes, and receives fully.

Her biggest challenge will be to get out of her head. Tell her the magic three little words to help her relax: TAKE YOUR TIME.

Don’t pressure her to have an orgasm and be willing to spend whatever time she needs to reach her orgasm. Sometimes it can take up to 45 minutes for a woman to surrender and let go. So be prepared to show up for her.

Your only goal should be her pleasure without any expectations.

And remember, women can enjoy many kinds of orgasms; they are multi-orgasmic. So there’s no need to stop at one.