Last Updated on August 31, 2020
Touch is one of the most important ways we express love, and for some women, it is the primary way they feel loved. But sometimes even the best-intentioned touch can be uncomfortable.
You transmit energy through your hands, so make sure you convey your love and make sure you are giving to her, not taking.
I know it can seem like a strange concept; how can you be taking if you are giving touch? Well, anytime you are touching her with an agenda, to get something, you are taking. Giving is all about caring about the other and touching her in ways that she likes and not just ways that you want.
TOP THREE TOUCH MISTAKES
1. Only touching her when you want to have sex with her.
You might have created a pattern to touch her only when you have a sexual agenda. Unfortunately, if that’s the case, she has grown to associate your touch with “having to have sex” with you. How would you feel if she only hugged you when she wanted something from you? Isn’t that pretty much the same thing?
If her stress level is high (which is most likely in this day and age), it is preventing her from getting in touch with her positive feelings. So when you approach her and she is stressed already, it becomes one more thing on her to do list, and if she is depleted she will most likely rebuff it.
No man wants to be turned down; it’s painful and emasculating.
How can you bring more loving touch regularly without agenda? The more you soothe her, and calm her, and dissipate her stress, the more sex you might find yourself having. But NOT today. Touch her often, without agenda, and it just might build your sex life over time.
READ THIS: THE SECRET TO OPENING YOUR WOMAN SEXUALLY
2. Going straight for the breasts or the genitals.
There’s more to a woman than just her breasts and vagina! Explore her entire body, entice her, pleasure her.
Prolong the sensations by avoiding her nipples and sex, when stroking her, stroke from the outside of her body towards the inside, concentrating the energy towards her sex, while purposefully avoiding direct stimulation of her genitals.
Use your hands and your tongue, to caress, kiss, tease. And use your eyes. A loving gaze can touch the soul, and you might find it stokes the fires sometimes. The goal is to help her relax and ignite her pleasure potential. By engaging more of her body, you will engage more of her senses. And the more you engage her senses, the more you take her out of her mind, and that huge to-do list.
Remember, she needs time to warm up, and by giving her that it will show her, you care deeply about her. What would it take for you to tenfold her excitement level with your touch? Experiment until you find out. What do you have to lose?
3. Using too much pressure.
The pressure feels wonderful, but you need to work your way up to it. Generally, her gluts will welcome the pressure way more than her clit! So change your touch for each area of her body.
Be gentle; make your touch more feather-like. The outer part of the clit contains roughly 8000 nerves, the most concentrated nerve center on a woman’s body, which makes it the most sensitive part of her. Your penis in comparison contains about half as many nerves, over a much larger area. So treat her clit accordingly. Keep in mind that it makes her far more sensitive to the pressure than you are.
READ THIS: THREE KEYS TO HELPING A WOMAN ORGASM
Light, purposeful touch will allow her to relax deeper, and it will also send her a message of caring and connection.
Next time, ask her: “How would you like to be touched? Show me what feels good.” When you do, she might cry, because a lot of times, a woman has never been asked that, and she might be moved, or have trouble answering you. Just be patient, and encourage her, and show your curiosity, and give her time.
Remember, lighten up!
My favorite tip:
When touching a woman, let your hands become an extension of your cock. Make love to her through your hands and with your touch. Bring your full presence and awareness into your fingertips. Don’t just touch -FEEL.
LISTEN TO EPISODE 02 OF THE LOVE LAB PODCAST: WHAT WOMEN REALLY WANT IN BED
WHAT WOMEN NEED
Now, remember, before humans learned to communicate through words, we talked with each other through touch. She wants to be loved, adored, and desired by you. Through your touch, you can accomplish all of that.
A woman needs regular demonstrations of a man’s love, understanding, and respect. By bringing more awareness to your touch you will demonstrate those qualities, and she will see you as a better lover.
Céline Remy, ‘The Intimacy Angel,’ is a leading expert who has helped and worked with over 1,500 men, women, and couples to discover their true sensuality and energy in their sex life and relationships. She teaches both men and women how to unleash their sexual potential, bring out the best in each other, and have mind-blowing sex for hours. Celine’s mission in life is to help and inspire 1 million people to experience love, passion, connection, and true intimacy in their relationships and sex life.
According to my research unless a woman has nonsexual touch her levels of oxytocine can be low, also oxytocine lowers, adrenal and cortazal levels when these three things happen a woman is far more likely to be interested in sexual touch. In addition the part of the brain that stimulates the desire to have sex is also next to the part of the brain where foot massages stimulate. Sensual massage as long as it involves the entire body has a very calming and relaxing feeling that also put a woman’s good chemistry levels in a place where she is most interested in getting physical.