Last Updated on August 31, 2020

Technology has gone a long way. Gone are the days of the landlines where you had zero privacy to get into some juicy phone sex with your lover (and yes, I am old enough to remember this).

When in need, it’s time to harness the power of technology. You are no longer restricted to voice only, say hello to that sexy video. And let’s be real, adding the visual can be quite lovely, as it anchors your body in your partner’s memory.

Sexting is fun, but video sex is so much better.

Here are seven tips to make your encounter memorable and enjoyable:

  1. Make sure you pick a time when you are both available and have privacy. Wear something that helps you get in the mood.
  2. Send sexy messages during the day in anticipation of your time together, or a photo of the outfit you will be wearing.
  3. Have all your tools and toys ready before you start so you don’t have to stop in the middle (total mood killer here).
  4. Be natural, clear, and direct. Don’t try to use a different voice or tone (unless you are roleplaying and it’s part of your character).
  5. Take your time. There’s no need to rush it and, most importantly, move your body and get into it fully.
  6. Drop your inhibitions and become super creative in exploring and sharing pleasure.
  7. Be willing to fail and have a good laugh. After all, it’s all about connection.

LISTEN TO EPISODE 70 OF THE LOVE LAB PODCAST: DIRTY TALK ESSENTIALS

Now that you have the basics in place let’s take this phone sex a step further. The way I see it, there are three levels – beginner, intermediate, and advanced.

If you are super shy, you don’t have to jump straight into something that makes you very uncomfortable.

You must build your confidence and slowly expand your comfort zone.

PHONE SEX FOR THE BEGINNER

If that’s your first time, take things slow. Read each other some erotica and witness your partner’s reaction. Or watch a sexy movie at the same time while texting each other what you like or would like to do to them.

Sharing a sexy movie or an erotic novel is a great way to open up a dialogue without having to use your imagination. You get to use someone else’s script and respond to it.

It allows you to open up and gently explore new options. Both are such great conversation starters. Plus, the picking of the novel or the movie is foreplay in itself.

PHONE SEX FOR THE ADVENTUROUS

Now that you are more comfortable with phone sex, it’s time to bring in the toys. There are so many options available, but a fun one to try is a remote-controlled vibrator.

All you need is reliable wifi. You can control the vibrations, accelerate, or change the patterns to drive your partner wild.

It can be edgy to let go of control and let your partner be in charge. However, this can work wonder for your polarity and attraction. If you are the guy, then take charge, get her the vibrator, and guide her through it.

If you are a woman wanting to explore your vulnerability and your ability to surrender, this is it. Now, let’s be honest; it’s probably not going to be the most fantastic experience or your best orgasm. I find the toys a little clunky, but it’s a lot of fun.

Again, this is all about building a connection and bonding together.

You can also take turns stripping for each other and tease one another about what you would like to do to them.

READ THIS: 4 WAYS TO REIGNITE THE PASSION IN YOUR RELATIONSHIP

PHONE SEX FOR THE SEXUALLY LIBERATED

At this point, you have established trust and connection, and you are are ready to be bold.

It is time to fuck yourself in front of your audience.

You can give your partner a show, or you can have them guide your moves. Masturbating in front of someone else is the quickest way to release shame.

It could either be a show and tell, where you get to show your partner what turns you on and your favorite strokes. Or you can give up control and let them direct the whole scene for you.
I highly recommend choosing “a director” and “an actor.” That means that you each have a clearly defined role and can give it your full attention.

One of the biggest mistakes people do is try to do everything at once. If you are both masturbating at the same time, then you don’t get to enjoy the build-up and playfulness.

So take turns, be the one in charge, directing the scene, then shift to being the actor. It is okay if you both want to climax together, but make sure you gave your phone sex plenty of time to build enough arousal.

Thanks to technology, you can now keep your long-distance relationship sizzling.

Give those tips a try and enjoy your lover in a whole new way.