Last Updated on January 14, 2021

Choosing the right lube is essential to have a smooth experience in the bedroom. In case you are wondering whether it matters, the short answer is yes.

Lubrication is a touchy subject. Frequently we take being juicy for granted and don’t know what to do when things are less lubricated. Sometimes if a woman feels drier, it can be interpreted as a lack of interest or arousal which is not always the case.

There are also incorrect assumptions that lubricants are only for older women and that a younger woman who doesn’t lubricate has a problem.

I experienced vaginal dryness while in my twenties. Often I was too embarrassed to talk about it even with other women. I judged myself for not being wet enough.

For a woman, the experience is similar to the emotional roller coaster a man goes through when he can’t have the erection he craves. Luckily I was with a partner who didn’t judge me, and coconut oil became our best friend. We had small coconut oil jars in multiple locations around the house.

Our female bodies go through cycles, and our vaginal secretions vary, and they can be affected by multiple factors like:

  • Stress, emotions.
  • Hormone fluctuations throughout the month.
  • Underlying relationship issues. 
  • Obsessive feminine hygiene (spray, douches, and harsh chemical soaps) that destroys the natural eco-system of the vagina.
  • Lack of foreplay and deep intimacy before penetration.
  • Medical conditions that affect lubrication.

If you aren’t satisfied with your lubrication levels, and you aren’t using lubricants, it’s time to add some! Now. Because it makes sex a whole lot better.

LISTEN TO EPISODE 34 OF THE LOVE LAB PODCAST: HEALING SEXUAL TRAUMA WITH RAHI CHUN

THE DIFFERENT KIND OF LUBES

Different types of lubes are better for different things. And they each have their strengths and weaknesses. You can break down the lubes into three categories.

Silicon-based lubes

These are created using a synthetic polymer as the base. So it’s important to note that they are manufactured and that some people do have silicone allergies, so it’s not for everyone. The major advantage of silicon-based lubes is that they last for a long time.

You can also use them for water play, you can bring them into the shower, and it stays smooth and slick for a long time.

The nice thing is that it doesn’t get sticky. But sometimes those lubricants tend to be a little bit harder to wash away. You also need to know that they can destroy latex and silicone, so they are not compatible with sex toys and condoms that are made of latex or silicone.

Water-based lubes

The water-based lubes have a lighter texture to them. They feel pretty natural, and they create a sense of wetness. What’s awesome about them is that they are compatible with latex. So they work well with condoms and sex toys.

However, a lot of people complain that water-based lubes tend to dry up quickly. So it’s not as easy to use for an extended period of time.

A little trick that’s good to know is that those lubes can be reactivated if you add a few drops of your saliva. They get wetter again for a little while longer.

Oil-based lubes

You want to remember that whatever you put on your body gets absorbed. So you don’t want to put anything on your body that you wouldn’t want to eat. Sometimes oil can be so delicious for a sensual massage, but remember that the oils are not compatible with latex, sex toys, and condoms.

Beware that some oils may cause infections as well. So you’ve got to try what works for you. I find that organic coconut oil is a good one for an external massage because it doesn’t stain the sheets and is easy to wash off. It’s not too greasy, and it has a nice texture. However, for some women, it throws the delicate balance of their PH vagina off-balance and they can’t use it internally.

Others like Vitamin E, Aloe vera, and almond oil are good options.

CHOOSE YOUR LUBE WISELY

Many of the lubricants you can find on the market contain dangerous chemicals. Parabens are known hormone disruptors, propylene glycol is a fancy name for antifreeze, dimethicone is an environmental toxin, and there are tons more. So read the labels carefully.

As a rule of thumb, don’t put anything inside a vagina that you wouldn’t be willing to eat, because you will absorb it directly into your bloodstream and the cells of your body.

Look for organic and preservative-free lubes.

Choose a lube that has names that you can pronounce. Make sure you pick one that will be appropriate for your needs. Like if you’re going to use toys and condoms, it needs to be okay with that type of use.

And if you are using lube as an external oil or versus an internal oil, your choices might be different. At the end of the day, the best lube depends on your specific wants and needs.

Remember it might take a few trials before you find the perfect lube, so make it a game and use it liberally, and things will go so much more smoothly.