Last Updated on August 31, 2020

Maybe you just discovered that you have herpes and now you are afraid it will impact your sex life negatively. Perhaps the idea of contracting IT terrifies you! Chill out; herpes is not a big deal. It’s not a tragic event. In reality, it’s a rather harmless, yet widespread condition. 

There’s so much stigma associated with the word “herpes.” Many feel so embarrassed, miserable, and hopeless about this condition. Some get stuck blaming/shaming each other and wasting so much energy trying to find out who gave what to who. Honestly, it’s a pointless game; analyzing and accusing wastes your precious energy and creates separation rather than connection with another human being.  Be proactive and educate yourself.

Having the right information will help you protect yourself and others.

Someone who is having herpes for the first time is more likely to pass the virus to someone else simply because they don’t know the signs and their body well yet.

It usually takes having herpes at least 10x before you become familiar with your patterns. 

THE EIGHT TYPE OF HERPES VIRUS

The term “herpes” refers to a family of eight viruses (more on that below). Herpes is a virus, just like the flu. Once you have gotten one of the strains, it will be with you for the rest of your life. It can lie dormant for many years without any symptoms. Outbreaks tend to happen when you’re under stress, or if you have a compromised immune system. 

Type 1: Herpes simplex (HSV-1), also known as a cold sore.

Did you know that 80 percent of American adults have HSV1? It is so common that when you take a routine test for sexually transmitted infections (STIs), the HSV1 isn’t included in the panel because it’s so widespread. A nurse told me that it’s not considered important enough of an infection. They don’t recommend testing without symptoms. The joke is that most people are asymptomatic, which means they are a carrier of the virus and could potentially transmit it to a partner because they are unaware they have it. 

Interestingly there’s a common belief that if you’ve got herpes type 1, you are better than someone with herpes type 2. While mucous membranes are more prone to the virus, they are not the only areas that can get infected. Places like the thighs, the nose, or the sacrum can show signs of infection. 

Many don’t know that HSV-1 can also show up on the genitals. Cold sores on the mouth are commonly transmitted to the genitals, causing genital herpes, through oral-to-genital sex. HSV-1 causes up to 40 percent of genital herpes.

How do you get herpes HSV-1?

It doesn’t require fluids for transmission to happen, and it is a skin-to-skin transmission. One can be contagious even when one doesn’t have an outbreak. That means that you can spread the virus to other people as well as your own body. It means that if you are touching your lips or nose, you can move it to a different area. 

The prodromal phase, which is right before an outbreak, is the most contagious phase. You need to know your symptoms well, so don’t pass it to others. Often you can feel dryness in the area or a slight tingling sensation. But everyone is different so pay attention to what is happening for you.

When you notice symptoms, you must boost your immune system, get extra sleep, and refrain from having physical contact with others.

Type 2: Herpes simplex (HSV-2), also known as genital herpes.

Since the late 1970s, the number of Americans with a genital herpes infection has increased by 30 percent. Up to 1 million new genital herpes HSV-2 infections may be transmitted each year in the United States, which makes it the most common STI. An estimated 25 percent of American adults have genital herpes. That’s one in four people.

It spreads via skin-to-skin contact and is most contagious when open sores are present. Beware, as transmission can still occur without having a flare-up or visible sign. Symptoms can be very mild to very severe. Condoms do not guarantee full protection as they only cover a small area of the skin.

It’s annoying and painful, but not life-threatening in most cases. Most healthy people experience only a few episodes a year. Often, they start to know the precursor signs and can take precautions before the actual outbreak flares. Most people choose daily suppressive therapy and anti-viral medications as a way to keep herpes at bay. Maintaining good immune health, maintaining a low-stress level, and eating healthy, fresh food will help.

Let’s layout three different treatment options so you can choose the right path for you:

Self-care: 

Antiviral herbs: Red Marine Algae, Lomatium, Olive Leaf

Immune support: Vitamin D, Zinc, Lysine

Medical care: 

Antiviral medication : Acyclovir (it can be used prophylactically or when symptoms are present)

Integrative Medecine:

Intravenous Ozone Therapy

High Dose Intravenous Vitamin C (IVC)

High dose Colloidal Silver

Type 3: Varicella-zoster virus (HHV3), also known as chickenpox.

When you contract the virus as a child, it is called chickenpox. Remember this irritating rash? I still do. Once you’ve contracted the virus, it lies dormant in your system. If it gets reactivated, it’s then called shingles.  A rash can appear anywhere on the body but will be only on one side of the body, left or right. 

Type 4: Epstein-Barr virus (HHV4). 

Maybe you’ve heard the term “mononucleosis.” Yes, that’s “the kissing disease.” Well, HSV4 is the strain of herpes that can lead to that condition. 

An astonishing 90 percent of adults have signs of Epstein-Barr in their bodies. 

Type 5: Cytomegalovirus (HHV5).

This strain of herpes is a common one and doesn’t cause any symptoms in most healthy people. In the event of a compromised immune system, it can lead to severe complications. 

Type 6 & 7: Herpesvirus 6 & 7 (HHV6 & HHV7).

These are strains that usually occurs in childhood and cause roseola infantum. It’s a mild infection that creates high fever, then a rash. 

Type 8: Capos sarcoma-associated herpesvirus (HHV8). 

This particular strain of the virus can lead to cancer, where patches of abnormal tissue grow under the skin; in the lining of the mouth, nose, and throat; in lymph nodes, or other organs.

HOW TO TELL YOUR PARTNER YOU HAVE HERPES?

Now that you know more about the different types, and how to deal with symptoms, be proactive. Before you engage in any kind of sexual activity, make sure you share that you have a herpes virus. It’s an excellent time to educate the other person about your safe sex protocol and how you take care of yourself.   

Talking about your sexual history is a must. It doesn’t have to be complicated or awkward. Just be open, honest, and straightforward. Don’t have sex when you have an outbreak or any signs that one is about to start. 

LISTEN TO EPISODE 103 OF THE LOVE LAB PODCAST: HOW TO TELL SOMEONE YOU HAVE HERPES

I am an HSV-1 carrier. I haven’t had any sores since my teenage years, but it still makes me part of the club. Therefore, I make it a point to disclose this information to anyone I will be sharing fluids with. It has never stopped me from having a fantastic sex life. I am upfront about it and self-care is on my daily routine. 

1. Normalize herpes and have open discussions about it to take the fear away.

2. Stop making jokes about herpes, educate yourself, and educate others.

3. Be proactive and get tested. (Enter “herpes test near me” in Google, and you will find a nearby clinic.)

4. Be upfront about your results with any potential partner before engaging in any intimate activities.

5. Above all, love and accept yourself just as you are and take responsibility.

And remember herpes is part of life.