Last Updated on August 31, 2020

Most of my clients tell me they need to be more romantic. Somehow they have lost touch with the spark they felt when first dating. And suddenly, romance becomes this dreadful responsibility instead of the joyful expression it once was. 

Some even think they don’t know how to be romantic, but I believe that’s not true — they don’t know how to communicate their feelings effectively. 

One of the things I see happening a lot is men wanting to please their woman but not succeeding. In other words, in most long-term, committed relationships, the only rewards the men get from trying to be romantic is criticism or disappointment. 

No wonder most men feel lukewarm at the idea of romance. Really, what’s the point if you can’t be successful at it?

So keep reading, because this is about to change. I will help you hone your romantic skills and own your romantic side. This means you are going to get great at it and it can now become powerfully effective.

Women more than ever need their fix of daily romance to cope with modern life stresses effectively, so when you step up and meet that feminine need, you will rock their world and become their hero in new ways. 

WHY WOMEN CRAVE ROMANCE

Romance stimulates the production of oxytocin. If you haven’t heard of this term before, it’s that “bonding and love hormone” everyone writes about. Oxytocin is a hormone produced by the body when pleasure and connection are perceived — a chemical messenger that helps you feel good.

Both men and women have similar levels of oxytocin, but women deplete their stock of oxytocin way faster than men, so they need replenishing more quickly. 

Oxytocin is so essential for a woman because it is a significant stress reducer, and it also helps heal her heart both as muscle and as a center of emotions.

When a woman is happy and loving, everyone around benefits from her magnetic energy, so let’s discover how to make her a happy, radiant, love magnet, shall we?

LISTEN TO EPISODE 38 OF THE LOVE LAB PODCAST: IS YOUR LIFE A ROMANCE NOVEL OR A TRAGEDY?

FIND YOUR INNER ROMANTIC

When you think about giving her romance, what are your “whys?”

Has she been withholding sex from you and you are hoping to get lucky again? Has she been nagging, bitching, complaining and you wish for more joy and happiness around? Do you want to step it up and become the man you know you can be with her? 

Whatever your “why” is, it’s time to find a compelling way to motivate you to change in the ways you show up for her.  

Independently of the results, you will know deep down that you have done everything in your power to deepen your relationship and take it to the next level. And, it will boost your self-esteem and confidence to see your intimacy increase. That all comes from you adding juicy romance to her life. 

Showing your love for your partner in small meaningful ways will not only affect her mood but yours too, in meaningful ways that can affect your entire day, including your success in life. 

But let me be honest with you. Romance isn’t simple. Because there’s no “one romance fits all,” our plan today is to create a tailored, badass romance list that genuinely touches your partner’s heart.

OPERATION ROMANCE

These are the 10-steps to take toward being the romantic she wants and needs. 

1.  Schedule a time to have a heart to heart conversation about romance.  

2. Sit down together and tell her you would like to shower her with more romance.  Also, make sure to let her know that her participation is crucial to the success of the operation. 

3. Have her come up with a written list of at least 21 things that she would consider romantic. Make sure there are different categories: low budget / very little preparation / higher investment/needs preparation. That will allow you to choose according to the amount of time and energy you have each day, week, month. 

4. Ask her how often she would need to be the recipient of one of those gestures. It could be once a week, every day, a couple of times a month.

5. Now make sure you stay true to yourself and only agree to give without losing yourself in the process. Be realistic and honest. If the most you can provide without building resentment is once a week, then let her know. You must find a way to create a win-win for everyone involved.

6. Tell her that when she appreciates the little things you do for her and tells you about it, it boosts your masculinity. And that the more she welcomes you, the more you want to give her. 

7. Both agree to celebrate your willingness to renew the spark.

8. Put the list on your phone and set a daily/weekly/monthly reminder (whatever you have both agreed upon)  in your calendar. 

9. Invest in your relationship. It is one of the most important, all-encompassing, enriching experiences we have in life. Be the man she wants. It will change everything. 

10. Have fun. 

May you grow in your ability to express your love daily.