Last Updated on August 31, 2020

I dabbled in rock climbing when I was in my teens. It was easy and fun. I was a natural at it, loved it, and forgot about it. Fast forward two decades, and I am now married to a passionate rock climber.  So needless to say, I got reacquainted with climbing.

Last week I went rock climbing in Big Bear for the first time. It was a very exhilarating and humbling experience. I got to push myself beyond my comfort zone and move past my fears.

I was surprised to discover several parallels that apply to relationships, and I wanted to share those gems with you.

4 RELATIONSHIP TIPS ROCK CLIMBING TAUGHT ME

1. It’ all about attitude.

My first climb, when on the ground looking up, I thought, “a piece of cake,” I can do this. However, once I started climbing, it got more challenging.

It wasn’t so much that it was a challenging climb; it was more about my reptilian brain kicking in. You see, I started doubting myself and was listening to my mind telling me all kind of scary stuff (“you can’t do this,” “what if you fall?”). At one point, I had two choices, I could stay in this unpleasant, fearful state, or I could choose to believe in myself and have fun no matter what.

And I decided to have fun, and I made it to the top, exhilarated. Having the right frame of mind made all the difference. If in your head you believe you can do it, you will find a way to make it work and enjoy the process at the same time.

By my second climb, I was having much more ease and enjoyed myself.

How to apply this::
It’s always great to have a bigger vision or purpose in your relationship so that when times are tough, knowing why you are together in the first place will help you stay on the high road – the better perspective – of compassion and love, no matter how rough things seem.

2. Move beyond your fears.

One thing that struck me in this experience was moving past the fears and voices that hold us back. Sometimes when reaching for the next hold with your hands, the only thing you can do is trust that it will appear for you, even if you don’t see it with your eyes. You’ve got to gather your power from your legs and core and go for it.

In reality, even if you were to fall, the ropes and your belayer have got your back, so why not move forward and move past your fears?

Often we make things appear scarier than they truly are, and most often, your fears are imaginary, and never come true.

The fears we don’t face and overcome become our limits. 

How to apply this::
Live life fully, don’t hold back, share your greatness with others. Love big, always. Favor love that makes you bigger and better, and not the fear that wants to keep you small.

LISTEN TO EPISODE 14 OF THE LOVE LAB PODCAST: FIND YOUR MOJO WITH DALLAS MICHAEL CYR

3. Do your best.

Now, the third climb was a different story. We decided to tackle a higher wall. As a beginner, there was no pressure on me to reach the top. I approached that climb with a relaxed attitude and to be honest didn’t expect much of myself, I barely tried and stopped 1/3 of the way in, just because I didn’t feel like it.

As I was back to the ground, I looked within and realized I wasn’t proud of myself.  I hadn’t done my best. I decided to go for it again and give it my all on this fourth climb because that’s how I like to live my life.

Even though I didn’t make it to the top, I still went higher and further than I thought was possible. When I came back down, I was beaming. And I had also gained a little extra confidence that has since rippled into all areas of my life.

How to apply this::
If you want to have extraordinary relationships, do your best at all times. Don’t just accept the way it was, as if that is the way will always be. Always remember that you can make the choice of love and soar to great heights, and leave all those limiting fears behind you on the ground.

READ THIS: 3 WAYS TO EXPERIENCE MORE PLEASURE IN YOUR LIFE

4. Surrender.

Go for what you want, give your best at all times and then let go. You might not get to the top, but you will have tried, and done your best, and you will be able to live without regrets.

That my friend is your recipe, whether the mountain is teaching you or your lover, these are your keys to love mastery.