Last Updated on August 31, 2020

We’ve all heard the term “Kegel.” You know, those squeezing exercises to strengthen your pelvic floor. Kegels are some of the most essential exercises you can do for your sexual health. They can prevent incontinence in women, foster better erections in men, and better orgasms for both.

Most likely you’ve tried them for a while and gave up. Maybe they didn’t work? Well, that’s because you were taught them to do them the wrong way! 

A LITTLE KEGEL HISTORY

In 1947, Dr. Arnold Kegel, a gynecologist, designed a series of exercises for women to strengthen their pelvic floor. He made an actual device that was being inserted inside a woman’s vagina. The woman would then contract and isolate different areas of her pelvic floor muscles and vaginal canal, while the device provided resistance and feedback.

Today you can find a plethora of devices that are designed to do that: tighten, strengthen, and enliven. Heck, there’s even a pelvis training tracker to help men improve their orgasms.

So, the term Kegel is just the name for an OBGYN physician. The actual name for this muscle group is really called: the pubococcygeus muscle or PC for short. 

The PC muscle spreads out like butterfly wings at the bottom of the pelvis, connecting the anus and genitals to the sitting bones and legs.

But no matter what you call it, most people train their muscles to do the wrong thing.

If you haven’t gotten any benefits from your practice, it’s probably because you are doing your Kegels wrong.


THE TOP THREE KEGEL MISTAKES

Mistake #1: Focusing on tightening and clenching (aka tight ass syndrome)

Relaxing the pelvic floor muscles is just as important as contracting them. A healthy muscle is toned yet supple, not tight. So, emphasize the relaxation, exactly as much – or more – than the contraction. 

Overly tensed muscles can lead to pelvic floor pain and discomfort. Remember, these are muscles, which means they can overwork, and trust me, that’s not where you want to have soreness.

Mistake #2: Moving the wrong muscles

Isolation is key! If you are contracting your lower abdomen, legs, or gluts, then you aren’t exercising your pelvic floor muscles at all, and you are only adding tension where you do not need additional stress.

To do it the right way, first, locate this set of muscles. Next time you pee, try stopping the urine flow midstream, then resume peeing.

I don’t recommend doing this practice often, as it confuses the bladder, and you end up never emptying it fully. So only use this technique to find the right muscles and resume your regular stream as you pee. However, it’s an easy way to get in touch with the right muscles.

Mistake #3: Focusing on fast, light squeezes

Consistency is more important than quantity. Theoretically, you can overwork your PC muscles. It’s never a good idea to rush through a workout. Going slow improves strength.

A slow and steady pulling up motion (like sipping through a straw with your genitals) will give your muscles a better workout. Use the natural in-out rhythm of your breathing as a good starting place. 

The slower you go, the more skill you need.

Practice makes perfect. Smile, Squeeze, Relax. Repeat. 

Now that you know how to avoid the pitfalls, you can have fun with it.

MY LITTLE KEGEL SECRET

Squeezing your pelvic floor muscles stimulates your sexual energy, which is the source for all of our energy. The source of all our power and creativity.

LISTEN TO EPISODE 12 OF THE LOVE LAB PODCAST: HOW TO HARNESS THE POWER OF YOUR SEXUAL ENERGY

So… Every time I want a parking space, I squeeze my PC muscles and ask for it to show up. It always works! You would be surprised what you can attract when you supercharge your wishes with your sexual energy. Think big, and go for it!