Last Updated on August 21, 2020

Not having control over your body can be so frustrating and embarrassing but you are not alone, 70%  of men will experience ejaculation problems at some point in their life. 

So if you want to shift your sex life from being full of anxiety to experiencing confidence and mastery then keep reading and start applying these five tips right away.

LISTEN TO EPISODE 49 OF THE LOVE LAB PODCAST: HOW LONG SHOULD SEX LAST?

1. Deep Breathing

Know the #1 cause of early ejaculation? Bad breathing patterns. The more controlled the breathing, the more focused you are, and the longer you last during sex.

Do you already know that one? Great! But do you practice it? Common sense isn’t always common practice, give yourself a chance to feel the benefits from deep breathing.

1. Find a comfortable position, sitting, standing, or laying down.

2. Place your hands on your lower abdomen to feel the movement of your belly.

3. Start with a deep sight/exhale.

4. Inhale slowly through your nose, let the air fill your stomach, pushing it gently out.

5. Exhale a little bit more than you think you can, slowly, through your mouth.

Do this breathing for 5 minutes. Everyday. 

2. Reduce Your Stress

When you are under stress your body’s natural response is to hold tension. Tension = ejaculation. If you replace stressful habits and add more fun, play it will increase your stamina.

I know, it’s easier said than done. Stress is everywhere, and everyone is experiencing stress at one point or another. However, look at the things that are in your control, and you can change. 

Are you doing lots of overtime? Traveling a lot but not for vacations? Are you addicted to coffee?

Here are some new habits you can try: meditation, exercise, and laughing for no reason.

3. Take A Porn Break

Expecting your body to last, while you keep exposing your brain to fast-paced, sexy images isn’t realistic. 

If you always watch porn when you masturbate, you might have created a dopamine addiction. This means your brain is like an addict’s brain, and your body is out of balance. Chasing the dopamine rush can lead to early ejaculation.

So sorry to be the bearer of bad news, but you ought it to yourself to take a porn fast for at least two months. Once you have regained control over your body, you can choose how much and when to use porn again.

READ THIS: 5 THINGS PORN DOESN’T TEACH YOU.

4. Use Solo Sex To Train Yourself

If you are still masturbating the same rushed way you did when you were a teenager, then you are in serious need of an upgrade.

While having a rushed experience to avoid getting caught might have been reasonable then, the years of hasty sessions have been training your body for a quick trigger and ejaculation problems. You’ve got to change your habit to get different results.

If your goal is to last at least 20 minutes with your partner, you need to able to do that with yourself. You can’t assume that your body will suddenly know the difference from your solo sex to your partner sex.

Carve out some time to play with yourself and don’t always make the ejaculation the goal half of the time bring yourself to a high state of pleasure, linger in it, and don’t go over your edge. 

5. Slow Down

Slowing down is key. Whether it is during your daily activities, when masturbating, or when you are with your partner, you will benefit from adding more presence. 

Extend the foreplay; sex isn’t only about penetration. 

Slow things down, start paying attention to the pleasure you get from giving pleasure, feel your body sensations, and connect with your partner.

It’s not about control; it’s about awareness. 

Solely focusing on the performance aspect, is a good start if you want to gain more control. But you also want to focus on the art of relating, your relating with your own body and with your partner.