What Is Slow Sex – And Why You Should Have More Of It

Kevin Anthony 0:11
Welcome to the love lab podcast a safe place to get real about sex. Whether you’re a man, woman, single, or a couple, this is the show for you.

Céline Remy 0:20
We are your hosts, Kevin Anthony and Celine Remy. And we are here to guide you to go from good to amazing in the bedroom and beyond.

Kevin Anthony 0:27
Alright, welcome back to the love lab podcast. This is Episode 134. And it is titled what is slow sex? And why should you have more of it? So yeah, this is I think this is gonna be a fun episode. This love sex, I think is a bit misunderstood.

Kevin Anthony 0:47
So we’re going to give people what, what the term is used, like how it’s used, maybe outside of of the way we would use it, and then we will tell you the way we use it and what we mean by slow sex. And I’m pretty sure that regardless of which definition you choose, you’re going to want to have more slabs.

Céline Remy 1:11
Like this, we hope will inspire you. So don’t do not just because the title may not be like the sexiest thing ever. And you’re like how boring This is another one of the myths that we are going to bust. But we’re going to talk about what it is why you should have the benefits of the mess, we’re going to talk about our own experience with it. So many things. Stay tuned.

Céline Remy 1:32
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Kevin Anthony 1:58
Okay, so, you know, we’ve always had our own definition of what slow sex is. But I do know and you know, we were both aware that there is a more common definition that’s kind of out there that people are referring to when they say slow sex. So because of that, rather than just, you know, doing what we often do, which is just write our own ideas down.

Kevin Anthony 2:20
I wanted to go out and find, you know, like, what is the definition that other people are using and kind of start with that. So we kind of know where we’re starting from. So I found this article from stylecaster.com. And it says, slow sex, as you might guess, a subset of the slow movement, that rethinks our instinct to get laid and get off.

Kevin Anthony 2:43
It’s an umbrella term that can include more specific sexual philosophies or practices, including Tantra, and orgasmic meditation, in a time when efficiency and productivity are highly valued. The concept of intentionally hitting the brakes on anything, let alone sex, which naturally sorts of frenzied feels counterintuitive. So sex is about reprogramming ourselves to savor the moment with our partners. So you know, that’s actually a pretty decent definition of it.

Céline Remy 3:13
Yeah, and I think the reason we wanted to share this definition is that some people have used it with a particular practice, like they said, with the orgasmic and meditation and Nicole Daedone wrote a whole book on slow sex, something about orgasms for women, and some of the tantric practices, we’ll talk about that different teacher like Diana Richardson, who’s really big into Tantra has written a book on that as well.

Céline Remy 3:37
So many teachers, throughout the years, have brought up the concept, it’s nothing new. It’s been repackaged, it’s been used in many ways because it has a lot of wisdom to it. And, and it can have really good benefits, as we will talk about later. So in how are, we using slow sex, and we’re going to give you our definition because we’re not affiliated with any of these different schools. We’re not endorsing any of those either. We are just sharing a practice that works for us.

Céline Remy 4:10
For us, our definition is a little bit simpler. The way that we would define slow sex simply means slowing down. It’s having no agenda and really focusing on your partner, the act of lovemaking, and all the sensations and energies of the experience. And I think for women, it might be a little bit easier because a lot of women don’t experience orgasms from penetration alone.

Céline Remy 4:39
And they’ve learned through the years to enjoy what is without having to go to a particular outcome. So I think that naturally, women tend to go there a little bit more.

Kevin Anthony 4:53
I think it’s entirely possible that women have learned how to do that because they’ve been so disappointed with the performance. They’re men that they literally just had to be like, wow, okay, I just have to accept what it is.

Céline Remy 5:09
And the other thing, too, that I want to bring is because some people talk about slow sex, and then they say, Oh, it’s all about the man basically, learning to please his woman and forego anything about him. But it’s all about her. And then he’s supposed to be like, her spiritual growth activator and stuff like this, I’m like, this is all bullshit. Like, this is really not what we’re talking about.

Céline Remy 5:33
Here, we are talking about teamwork, about being partners, there’s not one person who does all the work or that you use each other to reach a certain goal. I mean, sometimes in a relationship, you do help each other out. And sometimes it can help you reach a particular goal, whether it’s, it’s a certain income or a spiritual goal, but both have to be willing to invest in that.

Kevin Anthony 5:57
Yeah. And so you know, I would liken it to something like this, like, you know, if you’ve ever watched porn, there’s probably a bunch of people who are like, I don’t really watch porn, I don’t know what he’s talking about. But then again, probably most of you have. So you know, if you ever watch porn, like one where they actually try to have some sort of a story with it, you know, the doorbell rings, the plumber walks in, whatever it is kind of thing.

Kevin Anthony 6:20
But you know, when you watch that kind of stuff, it’s usually the clothes get ripped off, that goes straight to some really aggressive oral sex, and then boom, penetration, and it’s off to the races. 100 miles an hour, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, right. That’s the opposite of slow sex. Now, we’re also not trying to say that there’s anything wrong with that, we’ll get to that a little bit later. But I just wanted to use that to sort of compare and contrast, right, because when we’re talking about slow sex, we’re really talking about slowing everything down and taking the time.

Kevin Anthony 6:54
So that can mean a lot of different things, it can mean, rather than just ripping the clothes off immediately and going straight for it, which is fine. Sometimes you just want to do that, right, you’re like, Oh, yeah, just can’t wait. But other times, you might want to maybe undress her really slowly one piece at a time, and enjoy every piece of skin that becomes unveiled.

Kevin Anthony 7:17
And every curve that you see, if she’s wearing beautiful lingerie, enjoy every piece of it in the way that it looks on her body, those kinds of things is like super turned on. And then slow could simply be like, you know, it has, instead of thrusting at 100 miles an hour, very, very slowly thrusting or varying the speed from slow to medium to moments of complete stillness, you know, just changing things up like that.

Kevin Anthony 7:47
So rather than it being so fast, and aggressive, and hard, and we’re gonna get somewhere, and that somewhere is a big explosive orgasm, it’s really just about slowing down and enjoying every moment of it. And, you know, what’s interesting is, is we obviously, we have a lot of conversations about sex. And not just you and I, but because of the people we work with.

Kevin Anthony 8:08
And it’s a topic that comes up with our friends All the time. This idea of, you know, like, what is sex really comes up all the time. And, and I think that if your idea of sex is that sort of the first idea that I described, which is like, just go by my bag, oh, I have an orgasm done, great, go to sleep, go do something else, get on your phone, whatever it is, then I think you’re really, really, really, really missing out on what sex could be the potential it has to be a literally a spiritual experience.

Kevin Anthony 8:46
And even if you don’t want to see it as a spiritual experience, think of it as a euphoric experience. Think of it as like, you know, the best solution a genic you’ve ever taken on you don’t have to take any new genetics, right? I mean, there really has that potential. And slowing down is one of the techniques that could get you to that place,

Céline Remy 9:07
if we did a whole episode on how mindfulness can transform your sex life, where we talk way more about how meditation and again, that concept of slowing down and presence and all of this, so if you want to hear more about that, look for that episode in particular.

Céline Remy 9:23
But I really love what you brought here into space because I think that for a lot of people, because of what we see in movies, you have to understand that in a movie, there’s 90 minutes to two hours window to tell a whole story that happens over many months or years.

Céline Remy 9:42
So of course, the sex scenes are going to be very quick because you know, we can spend so much time on this. But what it does is that most of the time, the images that we saw around sexuality are rushed, are not really depicting something that’s fully enjoyed.

Céline Remy 10:00
Same when it comes to erotic movies or porn because what most people want is the money shot is the one aspect of it, they find it too boring to watch something that would be long and drawn out. And so when we talk about the idea that we have sex for 45 minutes, an hour, two hours, sometimes more people go like, what How

Kevin Anthony 10:26
are you? There’s a common question,

Céline Remy 10:28
like how well this is how we’re not going to have pounding sex for two hours, because

Kevin Anthony 10:34
it’s a little hard on the bodies that have happened, but that’s not the norm. But you know, we’ve not only have people asked how, but we’ve literally had people ask why. Why would you want to do that was literally a question. Somebody asked us one time, which was like, I was like speechless, my jaw hit the ground. What do you mean? Why?

Kevin Anthony 10:56
That’s like saying, why would you want to have a million dollars, like everybody would want to have a million dollars, even if you’re not even really into money, and you just want to live like in a trailer somewhere out in the middle of the woods, like, you still want money, right? Like everybody wants money, for one reason or another? Like, nobody would say, why would you want that? Right?

Kevin Anthony 11:12
Well, of course, you would want it because it can make life easier, right? This is the same thing here. We mean, why would you not compute brain can’t understand,

Céline Remy 11:25
to understand to is about what it takes to get to a heightened state of pleasure that it’s not achieved in 1020 minutes, that usually takes about 45 minutes to go to these states that Kevin was mentioning about like I call those the altered states you were you’re calling them euphoric. But those places where you literally feel altered, but without having to have had any substances.

Céline Remy 11:51
So it’s amazing, but you need to have that time. So we started to give you a little bit of the whys. Why would you have some of that? And we wanted to give a couple of quotes here from different people on and I’ll read it so it’s gonna be easier

Kevin Anthony 12:06
said that these two are both the same person. They’re just from different places.

Céline Remy 12:10
Yes. Yeah, we actually it’s more Simone, which we know. So she is here in California. But here’s what she was saying. Comparing slow sex to a quickie is like comparing fast food to a seven-course gourmet feast, says California based Advanced Certified Tantra educator more Simone, and slowing down the sexual experience invites a more expansive awareness that engages all of the senses and erogenous zones that are often forgotten when we are in a hurry to climax.

Céline Remy 12:43
Slower sex has fewer goals in mind and often leads to a wider range of pleasures. She continues on saying that slowing down to enjoy every nuance of erotic pleasure creates a richer, longer-lasting feeling of physical fulfillment that rejuvenates nourishes, and heals the body, making us look and feel more vibrant for hours after the fact.

Kevin Anthony 13:07
Yeah, I mean that I thought she really summed it up very well, which is why I liked those quotes, like, yeah, there you go. That’s it show over. Thanks, everybody.

Céline Remy 13:18
So by now, if you haven’t tried slow sex, you should start feeling a little curious about it and maybe starts to imagine how you could start to incorporate parts of that into your own lovemaking. So let’s talk a little bit about the benefits a little more, because if you’re still on the edge, and yes, I will come back to that. But let’s go to our benefits.

Céline Remy 13:45
So number one is you can make love longer. Yeah. You know, like, I know, some people are not into it, but it’s probably because they don’t have good sex. Because obviously, if you have good sex, you want more of that.

Kevin Anthony 13:58
I know, you know, this thing. This always, it sort of dumbfounded me right. Like, I get it. If you’re eating really good food. At a certain point, you’re going to be like, okay, I don’t want to eat any more of it. Because if you eat too much of it, you just don’t feel good, right?

Kevin Anthony 14:14
Like, there are some things that are really good that you’re like, yeah, of course, there’s a limit to it. But really, there’s no limit to how much great sex you can have or how long it can go on. Like, there is no such thing really as too much.

Céline Remy 14:30
Well, it depends, again, have the sex you have and everything but anyway, let’s move on. You will feel more sensations in one of the things that over the years I’ve noticed is when people go really fast, they numb out and especially when it comes to frosting. Some guys have trained themselves to masturbate a certain way and using quite a bit of force.

Céline Remy 14:56
And then they need that same amount. of force during the lovemaking and for most women, they can take that amount of force inside their vagina is like, Hey, this is too much like, you know, it takes a while to get to a place where you can take a real good pounding and really fast or strenuous fasting.

Kevin Anthony 15:16
Yeah, I think I think guys need that kind of stimulation, then they’re not focusing on anything other than their penis. That’s true, right? Because, yeah, obviously, you can, you can sort of train your body in a certain way, right? So you’re doing it really forceful and hard all the time when you’re masturbating. And then from a physical standpoint, you aren’t really happy, unless you have that same thing that you’re you’re like, I get that.

Kevin Anthony 15:43
And sex is not just about what it feels like on your penis, or what it feels like in your vagina, right? Like, that’s, that’s not really all. I mean, it’s just one small piece of the whole act of making love, right? So there should be a whole bunch of other things that turn you on, get you in the mood that excites you about that moment.

Kevin Anthony 16:06
So my personal feeling is if you need that level of stimulation physically, only on your genitals, in order to have interaction or feel turned on or excited about what you’re doing, you are really missing the whole point.

Céline Remy 16:25
Let’s talk about the benefits with a partner, you can experience a much deeper connection with your partner when you slow things down. Because, hey, you might start to look at each other. To enjoy each other’s bodies more take the time to look at them fully. Oh, what a novel concept.

Kevin Anthony 16:43
Right? And see, that’s the thing. Like, if you are again, just going for those sensations, like oh, it feels good on my penis, oh, yeah, I just want to you know, fuck, I just want to like bang and just boom, boom, boom, right? You are, You are literally missing the majority of what makes sex amazing.

Kevin Anthony 17:02
And it doesn’t matter. You know, okay, you could be in a long term committed relationship, you could be married, you could be whatever, or even if it’s literally a one night stand, here is this other human being in front of you. And there’s so much more to them than just their genitals.

Kevin Anthony 17:20
And you have an opportunity in that moment when making love with them to literally experience all of who they are. I think if you’re not doing that, you’re crazy. I mean, even if your thing is to just like, you know, get on dating sites and have sex with a different woman every time, just try having that experience, even if it’s only for one night.

Céline Remy 17:45
And by the way, we’re not singling out the men out there. But I also want to say that for women, it’s similar is the only focus that you have is on your creditors and on reaching that place of an orgasmic explosive orgasm. That’s more of an outward feeling without feeling the connections with the inside and connecting the outer of the glitters with the glitter his legs that are inside and every erogenous zone inside the vagina.

Céline Remy 18:10
You are also missing out on better orgasms, deeper sensations, and just what different sensations do in terms of the body and the responses. So it works both ways for the woman and for the man in terms of the fixation on the genitals and the one area that feels good.

Kevin Anthony 18:31
Yeah, actually, that’s a really good point. Because there are a lot of women that have figured out how to take care of themselves by focusing purely on their clutter. So even when they’re making love with their partner, because probably their partner is not really giving them the sex that they want. And they’re like what the short thing is, if I just really go at it on the clearest, I can have my explosive orgasm and be done with it kind of thing. So that’s a very good point to bring up.

Céline Remy 18:56
Let’s talk about some of the different things that you can have in terms of benefits, like have more like multiple orgasms, especially if you are a woman, but it works for men too. And we’ve talked about that on the show. You can also build up the energy higher, which will last for hours or days.

Céline Remy 19:14
And this is a concept I’m sure that by now, if you’ve been listening to the love lab podcast, you’ve heard us talk about the genital sneeze of like, Hey, I just had an orgasm and yes, there’s a sensation, it kind of felt good and it was short-lived.

Céline Remy 19:29
Versus this, out of this world mind-blowing experience that nourishes is more than just your genitals but your entire body and when you extend it when you slow it down and we started to move from justice one area and starting to encompass the whole body, but also we transcend time and space where it’s not just over when the act itself is over.

Kevin Anthony 19:54
Oh yeah, I want to transcend time and space. Absolutely.

Céline Remy 20:01
And then talk about a couple more here, it also gives her a chance to warm up slowly and open up to orgasms. So this is really good for women who don’t have the same connection with their bodies as others who can reach orgasm really quickly, who maybe need more time, we need different pressure. And I think that that can allow women to really understand her body and then that non rushed experience makes her feel safe.

Céline Remy 20:30
And that safety element allows her to get into like, okay, now I can have, I can open up to an orgasm because remember, orgasms are not something like that chocolates and flour that you give to your partner. orgasm is an experience that you open up to us, for yourself by yourself. And yes, your partner can facilitate that. But it still is an internal job.

Kevin Anthony 20:54
Yeah. And we have one more on our list, which is it gives your nervous system a chance to reset from the go go go mentality. And I really I love that you put this one on the list because almost everything in our lives is rushed these days is absolutely amazing to me. I mean, you know, I grew up as a young person in the late 70s, and 80s. And things. And when I look back at those times, granted, I was a kid or a teenager.

Kevin Anthony 21:21
So, you know, life is just slower when you’re that age anyway. But when I really look back at that period of time I go, Wow, have we sped up as a society over those decades, you know that it’s an unfortunate side effect of what we are calling the information age, right, where we have all this information at our fingertips, we have all these TV channels and the internet and just all this stuff. It has really made us speed everything up.

Céline Remy 21:49
Yeah. And then we’re in a constant state of stress. And that stress is the silent killer. I mean, stress is the new smoking, right? And it’s you need to be able to find ways to let go of some of that.

Kevin Anthony 22:04
Yeah. And so you know, sex and lovemaking is an opportunity that you have to slow everything back down. One of the worst things you can do, honestly, is approach sex, like another task that needs to be done and done quickly. Right? Oh, I’m just going to rush to it and hurry up and get it over with and rush to the next thing and rush to the next thing. Really, that is absolutely not how you should be having sex. So you have an opportunity here to really slow life down a little bit.

Kevin Anthony 22:39
One of the things that I love too, is if you really accomplish this, and you get to those euphoric states, it’s exactly what you said, which is time stops. And in such a busy world, where everything is like, you know, a clock to the minute. It’s really nice to have an experience where time doesn’t exist anymore. Absolutely. So you should try that.

Céline Remy 23:00
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Céline Remy 23:25
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Céline Remy 23:46
And you know basically, it’s kind of like the sexiest vitamin alive we use vitamin D all the time even though maybe that’s why we horny or we only and we add that with vitamin D I don’t know which way comes first

Kevin Anthony 24:01
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Céline Remy 24:01
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Céline Remy 24:27
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Kevin Anthony 24:51
Yeah and even here in sunny Southern California we still need our sunshine in a bottle. the unfortunate fact of the modern lifestyle. By the way, I know I said this on the last show, but if you love what we do here at the love lab podcast and you want to support us, the way to do that is to buy the products from the sponsors. That’s how we make money so that we can have the free time to make these amazing podcasts and share all of this information with you.

Céline Remy 25:18
And yeah, we get a small commission that doesn’t make us rich, but it keeps us going.

Kevin Anthony 25:23
If you buy enough of it, I’m

Céline Remy 25:27
counting on you.

Kevin Anthony 25:30
The wealthier we become, the more content we can put out.

Céline Remy 25:34
And let’s talk about myths. Because if you still have something within you, that’s like, I don’t know, do I want to try this low sex? Am I convinced yet? You know, some of the things that people think about it, they’re like, okay, slow sex means that men can have an orgasm with slow sex. And that’s a myth. Maybe Kevin, because you’re the man in this. In this show here, the men in the house?

Kevin Anthony 25:59
I’m the resident male here.

Céline Remy 26:03
Why don’t you explain a little bit what you mean about like, like that? So sex can still be a way for men to have orgasms. Like doesn’t have to cancel each other?

Kevin Anthony 26:13
No, of course not. I mean, first of all, again, if you’re really utilizing everything that you have available to you, there’s the sensation of touch, there are the visuals, right? There’s the smell, the pheromones, there are the sensations through the general if you’re really encompassing all of that, in your lovemaking.

Kevin Anthony 26:32
You, most of you, if you could do that, you would still be fighting your jacket, you’d still be going, Oh, God, like, no, not yet, right? Because there would be plenty of stimulation, you wouldn’t need just that fast physical sensation. So and then, of course, the other thing is, too, is just because you’re having slow sex doesn’t mean it has to be slow from beginning to end.

Céline Remy 26:56
Good point, this is really good points.

Kevin Anthony 26:58
I was gonna save that for talking about, like, our experience, but the reality is, is that, you know, it varies sometimes, you know, like, in one lovemaking session, it can start out really slow. And it can be slow for 30 minutes. And then all of a sudden, you’re like, oh, let’s pick up the pace, right?

Céline Remy 27:16
And then that’s Yeah.

Kevin Anthony 27:18
And then you do your pound, pound, pound because she’s, she’s wide open, and she’s begging for it. You’re just like, I can’t wait like this is gonna be a no

Céline Remy 27:28
Pound, pound, pound.

Céline Remy 27:31
As you can see, with what Kevin just described, it’s highly exciting. Another method people have is that slow sex is boring. Now, if you use slow sex, the way he just described meaning elements of it at times and adding different sensations and different speed, there’s, it’s really far from being boring.

Kevin Anthony 27:50
It is absolutely not. In fact,

Céline Remy 27:54
I believe that slow sex is the key to go, especially when you are in an established relationship. And you’ve been together for a long time, especially if you have kids, you know because it takes the pressure off. But it also likes, it allows you to make time for it. Because the biggest thing that people like the biggest mistake they do is they forget to put energy into their relationship.

Céline Remy 28:17
And that’s one of the reasons they start to fizzle, and they get the day they fall out of their relationship. It’s just because they don’t place the attention and energy that it needs.

Kevin Anthony 28:27
Yeah, not, you know, I know a lot of men are concerned that if they go too slow, they’re going to lose their erection. And, you know, again, it really doesn’t take a lot of movement.

Céline Remy 28:42
Ooh, and we’re going to talk more about that in just a minute. I want to add one more myth that if you’re a woman, or listening to this show, and you’re thinking, well, man, just want a quick release, and they’re not interested in slow sex, you are probably wrong. guys love slow sex too maybe not 15 years old or 20 years old. But as they are more seasoned, they will enjoy it a lot as well.

Céline Remy 29:07
And it’s also your responsibility as a woman because I think that we need to inspire our men to enjoy their bodies more to reach different levels of sexuality because it’s more innate for us, we can do that may be easier. And it is our responsibility to bring that element into the bedroom and open our men’s hearts. Mind to the possibility of better sex,

Kevin Anthony 29:34
there is nothing wrong with fast sex. But if a guy only wants fast sex, it’s probably not the right guy, probably not a very good lover. Just be honest with that.

Céline Remy 29:49
Finally, we get to the juicy part. If you’ve made it out all the way to this towards the end of the show. You will you’re about to get rewarded with very, very juicy details here.

Kevin Anthony 30:00
Oh really? how juicy are we getting?

Céline Remy 30:04
Well, let’s talk about the sex we just had last night,

Kevin Anthony 30:06
we need to get a pad out.

Céline Remy 30:10
So I wanted to talk about our experience. So yesterday, it was late afternoon, early evening, we started having sex. And it was more of slow sex again, where we started with just a little like rubbing and snuggling. And then we’re like, okay, let’s, let’s, let’s do some penetration.

Céline Remy 30:32
And, you know, like slow sex also applies to the penetration to the just penetrating a woman. And what Kevin likes to talk about is the whole like, feeling the temperature, like getting to be used to the energy when you plugin that you’re not just going like woo, like super-fast, like you just go in and relax and feel that.

Kevin Anthony 30:56
Yeah, absolutely. That’s, that’s a technique that we often teach when men are having trouble controlling their ejaculation is they want to penetrate and immediately start just pounding and going for it. But you know, a woman who’s really turned on like her Dinah’s like an electrical socket. Then once you penetrate here, there’s going to be massive amounts of energy flowing into and through your penis.

Kevin Anthony 31:18
If you don’t know how to control that, that can often just set guys off right away. And if at that moment of penetration, you get on your arousal scale, up to that almost nine-ish, eight and a half, nine-ish, right from the start. It’s a losing battle from there on out, right, because the whole rest of the experience, you’re going to be right on that edge. Trying not to ejaculate.

Céline Remy 31:45
It’s tricky. One’s a tricky one.

Kevin Anthony 31:46
Right? Well, so one of the things you can do is when you penetrate, just relax, just feel the energy moving through you, you don’t have to really even do much movement. Mm-hmm.

Céline Remy 31:57
So now, I wanted to talk about different elements in the slow sex because people start thinking like, oh, slow, sex is boring, like, what do you have some stillness? Well, what would reduce you to your pelvic floor muscles? Because especially here, I’m going to address to the women, and then Kevin will talk about the part for the guys okay? Sure. You know, when you manage to penetrate you and you have his penis inside you, there’s a lot of things that you can do with your vagina.

Céline Remy 32:29
There are different rings of muscles inside and you can learn to separate things. And there are literally three different rings. And you can learn to squeeze him at the base at the head and the middle, you can like learn to do like one side, the other side was playing yesterday with like, squeezing, like, like Kevin’s penis, like at the base, like kind of holding him.

Céline Remy 32:51
At the top of the head, I was doing more of a little flutter. And it was fascinating because he could he started to feel it was like, Are you feeling this? You know, I was getting so turned down. Then I was playing with like, Okay, try to guess which side I’m like, kind of like stimulating you. And I was and he could feel right side, left side. And this whole idea of doing some flutter some contraction and release, contraction and release.

Céline Remy 33:15
By the way, this release part is really important. I wasn’t just contracting and becoming tense. I was releasing too, that really got me really excited. And that’s one of the elements that can get you to female ejaculation, which is a whole other topic. And we’ve covered it in another show. But we might come back to that because it’s so juicy. But really playing with my pelvic floor muscles. Feels good to me and feels good to you. And we don’t need our movements at the internal movements.

Kevin Anthony 33:47
No, no, you know, I have to say that ladies, if you’re listening, if you really want to be a great lover, you have to learn how to use your pelvic floor muscles. You have to learn how to strengthen them and be able to use them that to me, like if I have sex with a woman and I can feel she’s got control over that I go, oh, okay, this is gonna be good. It just, it just is it makes the entire experience better.

Kevin Anthony 34:15
And this idea that you know, when you get older as a woman that especially if you’ve had kids that you know, being a little bit in your panties when you laugh too hard is a normal thing. It’s not

Céline Remy 34:27
it’s you have weak pelvic floors and you need to start training again. Exactly, I think that was back in shape.

Kevin Anthony 34:32
So anyway, that’s a little bit of an aside, but you’re right that when having slow sex, there’s a lot more movement that can be happening without the two bodies going, you know, in and out like that. And you know, a similar thing for the guy to which is if a guy has strong pelvic floor muscles, and this is one of the ways that they can maintain a strong erection as well as preventing premature ejaculation.

Kevin Anthony 34:59
Having those muscles be nice and strong. But you can squeeze and flex those two and she’ll feel it. She’ll feel it when you do that.

Céline Remy 35:06
And you can play call and response and, and some things like that. So these are the way that we incorporate some of the slow sex element. And we will vary from slow to fast, fast, too slow, different levels of slow and sometimes it’s pretty much a lot of stillness. Sometimes it’s just a very slow pace.

Céline Remy 35:26
Sometimes it’s faster. It’s about being attuned with where you at what the body wants, and playing with different things. And again, that internal movement can be “movement.” If it does, on the outside, it looks like you’re not doing anything that could be a lot happening between each other’s genitalia.

Kevin Anthony 35:44
Yeah, and don’t get us wrong. Sometimes we have crazy fast, you know, pounding doggy style, screaming ejaculating sex all over to and you know, it’s just a matter of what mood you’re in at that moment, and where the lovemaking wants to go.

Kevin Anthony 36:01
You know, there there are actually quite a few times where we start off going, it’s going to be a slow sex day, right? And maybe it is even for the first 30 minutes. Then all of a sudden, it shifts into the really fast, really, you know, crazy bounding thing. So you never know necessarily where it’s gonna go.

Céline Remy 36:23
Just follow it. So really, which one is better, slow sex, fast sex. There’s no better way to have sex, you know that all the legends are good. And there are many options when it comes to having sex and frost speed. What’s important is to vary. It really is. And, you know,

Kevin Anthony 36:42
if you take anything away from this show, I hope it is that you realize that this really is a viable option and that this could really radically enhance your sex life. Because I think there’s, there’s just too many myths out there that you know, going slow is gonna be boring, or you’re gonna lose your erection or whatever they all the things that we talked about already and busted.

Kevin Anthony 37:04
And I really hope that people have listened to this episode, can see that that is absolutely not true and that this could really be an amazing addition to your sex life.

Céline Remy 37:17
So slowly, make your way to the bedroom and traceless acts.

Kevin Anthony 37:24
Alright, everybody, that’s all the time we have for this episode, and we will see you next week.

Kevin Anthony 37:34
We hope you liked this episode of the love lab podcast. If you enjoy this show, subscribe. leave us a review and share it with your friends. And for more free exclusive content.

Céline Remy 37:45
Join us in the passion vault at kevinanthonycoaching.com/vault

Kevin Anthony 37:56

Thanks for listening.

Céline Remy 37:57
And remember, you’re amazing