The Beginner’s Guide to Butt Play

Kevin Anthony 0:11
Welcome to the Love Lab podcast a safe place to get real about sex. Whether you’re a man or woman, single or couple, this is the show for you.

Céline Remy 0:20
We are your hosts, Kevin Anthony and Céline Remy and we are here to guide you to go from good to amazing in the bedroom and beyond.

Kevin Anthony 0:27
All right, welcome back to the Love Lab podcast. This is episode 216. And it is titled, the beginner’s guide to but play. Alright, so we have done two episodes in the past on the prostate, but that was really geared specifically more towards men and the prostate,

Céline Remy 0:47
episode number seven, and episode 137. If you’re interested,

Kevin Anthony 0:53
yes, episode number seven, I believe is still our all-time most downloaded and listened to the episode.

Céline Remy 1:01
And it was really early on in our podcasting.

Kevin Anthony 1:05
Yep, indeed. And, you know, we’ve told this story on the show before, it was a topic that I didn’t really want to cover the day that we covered it. And I felt like it was probably the worst podcast I ever did. But we went back and way, way, way later a couple of years later and listened to it again.

Kevin Anthony 1:27
And actually, it’s not bad at all, it’s quite good. We did, however, decide to do a second show on that, because there were some things that we felt we could have added. And so we did a second show also very highly downloaded and listened to this is going to be a little bit different this show because it’s not going to focus around the men, it’s going to be

Céline Remy 1:49
just around buds around buts

Kevin Anthony 1:52
handle stuff for both men and women. It’s a subject that came up recently, and somebody was having a big aversion to it. So we decided, you know, we need to do a show on that.

Kevin Anthony 2:05
And we need to cover some of the biggest objections that people have and really have a candid conversation about what’s the reality like here, because a lot of people have ideas in their minds about what they think it’s going to be both good and bad, right?

Kevin Anthony 2:22
So like, you’ll have guys that have this fantasy about how awesome it’s going to be to you know, fucker in the ass kind of thing, right? And then when they do it, they’re like,

Céline Remy 2:33
there’s the whole thing to about when you talk about but bleh The first thing a lot of men fake is not in my eyes,

Kevin Anthony 2:41
right? That’s another one all the guys are like that makes you gay? No way mad, right? And then there are all the women that are like, no, it’s gonna hurt. It’s not clean. isness this, it’s that right?

Kevin Anthony 2:50
So there are a whole lot of misconceptions regarding anal play. And we are going to bust the myths today and clear up the myths conceptions and tell you honestly, what it’s really like and if you are interested how to do it, right?

Céline Remy 3:10
And so it’s a great episode to listen to with your partner. It will help you talk about it. And hopefully,

Kevin Anthony 3:17
every episode of this show is great to listen to with your partner. That should be part of your date night, sit down and listen to the Love Lab podcast.

Céline Remy 3:26
Weekly fun. All right, before we get started, let’s give a big shout-out to our sponsor’s power in mastery. If you want to join the secret club of men who are great in bed check out power and mastery at power and mastery.com.

Céline Remy 3:42
It is the most complete sexual mastery training for men. Whether you want to have harder erections, last longer, or increase your sexual skills. There is something for you at power and mastery.com. So make sure you take it out.

Kevin Anthony 3:59
All right, so we really have to start at the bottom hahahahaha

Céline Remy 4:12
I’m not sure about the canned laughter there, Kevin. That’s the worst part. I’m not sure I want to bring this into our show.

Kevin Anthony 4:21
Yeah, but see, the sitcom uses it to try to convince you that it’s real laughter we do it here on this show because it’s stupid and funny.

Céline Remy 4:29
Got it. So yeah, we might have to pass that to a vote.

Kevin Anthony 4:33
All right. All right. So anyway, we need to get started at the basics, right, which is basically anatomy. Yes. So because a lot of people think, oh, that’s where the poop is stored.

Céline Remy 4:48
Well, let’s start from the outside. So you’ve got the bad cheeks, and then you have what you see, which is the anus. The anus has a pretty high concentration of nerve endings, so they can be very erogenous.

Céline Remy 5:03
And this is why it makes massage or intercourse pleasurable if it’s done properly, okay? And the dental nerve that branches to supply, the external anal sphincter also branches to the dorsal nerve of the clitoris and the dorsal nerve of the penis.

Kevin Anthony 5:26
Okay, let’s not glance at this too quickly, because one of the big questions that people have is why would I want to do this? What possible reason could there be for wanting to do this? And so what we basically just described to you is that there is a high concentration of nerve endings.

Kevin Anthony 5:50
Exactly, exactly. Wherever there are a lot of nerve endings, there are a lot of feelings. Now that can be a pleasure, that could be a pain. But the point is, there is a lot, there’s a high concentration of nerve endings in which patients, there’s a high potential for pleasurable sensations.

Kevin Anthony 6:06
Now, the other part is that last part that you talked about, that the nerves are also connected to the clitoris and the penis, aha, so then it is possible that you could feel sensations in your clitoris or your penis, simply by stimulating around the anus. It’s all connected. It’s all connected. So, right away, we’ve already given you a reason why you may want to do some of this. Now,

Céline Remy 6:37
let’s just get the whole leg move makes me go out of the way. If you enjoy no penetration, it makes you somebody who enjoys no penetration. That’s it. It doesn’t say anything about your sexual orientation. Your gender just means you like something.

Kevin Anthony 6:58
Yeah, so alright. So the second myth that we have to bust is that liking any sort of stimulation around in your anus makes you gay? No, it does not. Nothing makes you gay. You either choose to be gay, or you were born that way.

Kevin Anthony 7:16
But it doesn’t make you gay, you’re not going to be a heterosexual guy who loves women, and then she sticks a finger in your butt and you suddenly become gay and want a penis in there. Like that just doesn’t happen. It just doesn’t.

Céline Remy 7:30
Alright, so let’s go further haha, but

Kevin Anthony 7:34
oh, I didn’t do it.

Céline Remy 7:38
That’s the anus, you’ve got too anal sphincters. And one is you have control over it. And you can kind of like squeeze, it’s like, it’s gonna be your external sphincter. And then there’s the internal one, which you get to really control and basically the there so that you can push fecal matter out of the way.

Céline Remy 8:03
And you know, it’s true. That’s when you think about anal. The one way and movement are out. So when you think about doing anything internal that goes in, it kind of goes against the natural way that things go.

Kevin Anthony 8:21
Well, yeah, and you know, one thing you do have to kind of realize is almost nothing in the body has a singular function. Trim, right? So everything, basically, you know, I mean, if you, if you look at even the male penis, right? It has multiple functions, right?

Kevin Anthony 8:39
Because the same tube that your semen comes out of in order to impregnate a woman is also the same to use to expel urine, right? So you got basically two functions. The same thing with a vagina, like lots of things, have more than one function. So just because the primary function of the anus is to expel things out, doesn’t mean that it couldn’t potentially do more than that.

Céline Remy 9:04
Now, why are these factors important? Well, they kind of flag muscles. I think their muscles aren’t the Yes, yes, they are. And think about your pelvic floor muscles. What muscles do they contract when they relax? What’s an orgasm or contraction and relaxation? What if you can use one at least have the face sphincters and control the relaxation and the contraction that could give you great for leisure?

Kevin Anthony 9:37
Yeah, and there and we’ll talk more about this later on in the show. But there are toys that are designed specifically to do that. It’s specifically designed to stimulate the anus at the point of orgasm to increase the orgasmic sensation.

Céline Remy 9:51
That’s right let’s keep moving. You then

Kevin Anthony 9:55
get moving through the canal. Yes.

Céline Remy 9:58
It is called the end okay? No.

Kevin Anthony 10:01
How can we have a show where we make so many jokes and you won’t let me play the laughter sound? Just kidding. It’s true. We’d be overusing it today.

Céline Remy 10:11
Basically, the anal canal is about three to four centimeters. By the way, I have no idea. I’m European. So translate that into inches for you. But three to four centimeters

Kevin Anthony 10:22
short, it’s short.

Céline Remy 10:24
This much. Yeah. And it connects the rectum to the anus. So usually the penetration that you do from a dildo or something shoulder or bad plug kind of stays in the anal canal, which tends to be just a tube empty, hopefully.

Kevin Anthony 10:52
Yeah, well empty in the sense that nothing is permanently stored there. Now, there could be a few remnants here or there, potentially, but nothing is permanently stored there. You’re not going to hit any walls.

Céline Remy 11:05
Then you get to the rectum. And the rectum is an expandable organ for the temporary storage of features. Or right so that when you start to hit some balls,

Kevin Anthony 11:18
possibly Yes. If you haven’t done your, prep, which will describe later.

Céline Remy 11:24
And then you know if you get into the colons, so you know once you’re there I mean,

Kevin Anthony 11:30
that’s pretty far, pretty far. Yeah, you won’t be going that far. But here’s the point. Why, why are you really taking the time to go through all of this basic anatomy?

Kevin Anthony 11:39
Because if you understand the anatomy, then a lot of the fears of what’s going to happen can go away, because you realize, oh, okay, I’m only going that far. Oh, that’s what’s really in there. Oh, that’s what that function is like, okay, I get it. Now. It’s not that

Céline Remy 11:54
big relax, right? Let go and enjoy.

Kevin Anthony 11:58
Well, we will talk about that when we get here to the nine ground rules for butt play.

Céline Remy 12:05
All right, well, tell us more about it. Okay, well,

Kevin Anthony 12:09
so basically, we have some basic rules for how to do this. So that’s our nine ground rules for play. Number one. Make sure that you want to try but play. You know, we’re talking about the anatomy. And we were talking about the sphincters. And how are their muscles, right?

Kevin Anthony 12:29
Well, if you are nervous, what do you tend to do you tense up, the tenser you are in those sphincters, the more difficult and painful this process is going to be. So here’s the thing is, what tends to happen with this is that one partner is the one that really wants to do this. And the other partners I I don’t know about

Céline Remy 12:51
that sells bread mochi, right?

Kevin Anthony 12:56
And the problem is, is that that’s not a good way to start. So you really both have to be on board like, hey, yeah, let’s try this. When this brings us to number two, by the way, when you do both agree that this is something that you want to do, then you have to have some real conversations with each other about how this is going to go.

Kevin Anthony 13:20
Okay, here’s what I’m going to do this is what one partner might say, I’m going to use lube, I’m going to go slow, I’ll only penetrate a little bit. I’ll communicate with you. And then you know, tell me what you feeling. Is it okay, is it good? Should I keep going? Should I stop? Right?

Kevin Anthony 13:36
And the other person should say well, okay, but if I feel discomfort, I need you to stop when I say that like you need to have all of these conversations and figure out how this is all going to go. Remember, we did an episode on I think we called it the key to her pleasure. Okay. Right. And part of that was trust, establishing trust, right?

Kevin Anthony 14:00
And so, and safety, ultimately, right, trust and safety. So ultimately, safety is the key. Getting safety is trust. So, as I said, part of that was trust. And here having these conversations is what’s really going to help establish the trust so that that person and this really go in both directions. That person feels comfortable that everything’s going to be okay.

Kevin Anthony 14:30
So, you know, when we talk about this where most people are probably thinking, the guy is trying to convince the girl to allow her to allow him to penetrate her with his penis in the ass. That’s probably what most people listening to this are thinking about but, but flip the table for a moment because it could be the other way around. What if you have a guy who’s like really unsure about this?

Kevin Anthony 14:55
And he’s thinking I don’t know, maybe this means I’m gay. I shouldn’t want this but maybe Good idea, but I don’t know they’ve never had anything in mind. Before what if it hurts? What if? What if? What if? What if? And she’s over there going, Oh, Quit being such a crybaby.

Kevin Anthony 15:09
I’ve done this on every partner I’ve ever had just bend over, you know, like, that’s that scenario could exist as well. And so, you know, if you’re the receiver, whether you’re the man or the woman would like, if you’re the guy, wouldn’t you want to know from her?

Kevin Anthony 15:24
Okay, yes, I’ve done this with every partner I’ve ever had. And I will go slow, I will be gentle, I will pay attention. If you say stop, I will stop, right? Like all of those things, will make either party feel a whole lot safer. And honestly, this is true with everything and sex.

Céline Remy 15:40
And you know, I also want to bring the whole thing that we’ll come back to that later. But take baby steps when it comes to anal. You don’t have to go from never having any no penetration to having anal sex. You could go to having an external massage, or just a finger or a butt pluck or something in between. You know you don’t have to go for like, the biggest deal though in the store is crazy. No sex. There are plenty of ways to enjoy anal stimulation.

Kevin Anthony 16:18
Yeah, that’s often Another common misconception is that the anal must mean, a penis or a giant dildo. Like, where does that come from?

Céline Remy 16:30
Hey, you could stick on the outside and do some good rimming. Exactly. That’s the salad. But welcome back to

Kevin Anthony 16:38
that. Yeah. All right. So number three, I’m leaving that one for you.

Céline Remy 16:42
Book happens. Just let it go. You know, most of the time, it’s clean, and welcome back on how to prepare you but up to that. But sometimes, there is a remnant. It is what it is. Letting Go.

Kevin Anthony 17:00
And that leads us to number four, which is huge protection, gloves, or condoms. For ease. I highly, highly recommend that you use a condom. When having anal, it’s just better hygiene for both of you.

Céline Remy 17:16
use gloves or finger cots.

Kevin Anthony 17:18
Yeah. So you know, it sounds a little unsexy. I know like some guys will, you know, I don’t use condoms with my woman for whatever, you know, but that’s actually, you know, if you’re penetrating your woman, it’s actually more for you in your protection than it is for her.

Kevin Anthony 17:35
You know, other than, you know, you being too rough and maybe causing some areas and nothing’s gonna happen inside her. But do you welcome UTIs exactly right? So that’s for your protection.

Céline Remy 17:46
Number five, but down a dark towel. What if proved blank lads or something like that, to keep your sheets clean? And hide any poop that might show up?

Kevin Anthony 17:58
Yeah, I mean, it can happen, right? I mean, there could be some remnants left here or there and there could be a little, little smudge here or there, you know, skidmark or two. But,

Céline Remy 18:08
you know, I mean, I’ve heard on the once of somebody who literally had like a real poop come out. And that’s a bit like because they weren’t prepared. Otherwise, really, all you get is a little SPECT.

Kevin Anthony 18:27
Alright, so we’ll talk about this when we get out when we get to how to prepare. But most of those stories tend to emanate from the porn industry. And there’s a very specific reason why which we’ll get to later on.

Kevin Anthony 18:41
So if you’ve heard those stories, a friend of a friend of a friend told you that this is what happened. It’s probably bullshit. And we’ll tell you where it comes from later on.

Céline Remy 18:51
Number six, start with fingers and toys, start small, then go big

Kevin Anthony 18:59
or not? Or not at all. You don’t necessarily have to go big. But, you know, the reality is, is that in this particular area, because there is such a high concentration of nerve endings and there is a lot of sensation, you don’t need to go big.

Céline Remy 19:15
No, you don’t. And it takes a while to relax. And unless you are fully relaxed, you can literally create dare or Fisher, which you don’t want to have happen to you so take your time. And then if you want to go bigger, you can go there. Yeah, the problem is if you go too big, it hurts. And then don’t want anything else.

Kevin Anthony 19:38
It’s just there. I mean, there really isn’t a need unless that’s your thing. Yeah, like if that’s what you like, you want to feel like you’re being just completely torn apart then great. Otherwise, there really isn’t a need. Okay, number seven, use lots of loops.

Kevin Anthony 19:57
Okay, this is a very important point. See When you are having vaginal penetration, the vagina produces its own lubrication. The anus does not. It does not. So therefore you are going to have to provide it is there could be a little natural lube in there, but

Céline Remy 20:18
not enough not enough. Not so don’t bank on it. Just have a lot of lube. You know, the better. The more you use, the better it is.

Kevin Anthony 20:30
Yeah, especially for the receiver.

Céline Remy 20:34
Number eight, don’t push your limits, and go slow. Just honor yourself. And what’s your partner? You know, like, if your partner is like, responding in a way that they’re contracting or things like that, like, honor, like it’s not about how far can I go?

Kevin Anthony 20:54
Yeah, well, you know, one of the things that that I guess it’s kind of another one of those misconceptions, but if people have never really done an on before they’re probably their only real exposure or experience to it is porn. Yeah. Right. And as we know, and as we’ve said many, many, many, many times throughout the course of 216 episodes, porn is not real, right?

Kevin Anthony 21:18
The way that people have sex and porn is not the way that people actually have sex. And so people will then compare themselves to what they see in porn. What do they see in the porn, they see a porn star bent over spreading her ass cheeks, with her sphincter wide open, just getting rammed by a guy with a giant cock fisted or possibly visited or whatever.

Kevin Anthony 21:43
But the point is, is that that’s not the reality for most people. And you have to understand that, there are pros, so to speak. Like they do this regularly, too. There’s actually a fair amount of drug use designed to relax the muscles of the sphincter. That’s a little trick in the porn industry that nobody tells you about.

Kevin Anthony 22:05
And three, they’re not actually necessarily even liking it. Some porn stars do like it. And they’re like, they’re an absolute yes to those types of scenes, and others do it just for the paycheck. They’re acting, right? So don’t compare yourself to what you see in porn, like, wow, she’s taken a 12-inch cock and getting pounded and loving every minute of it.

Kevin Anthony 22:28
Why can I do that? Right? People do stuff like that. Because it’s not reality. It’s not reality. And that is not what most people would experience when having anal play. And it’s not what most people would experience as being pleasurable or fun. It just isn’t. So don’t compare yourself.

Kevin Anthony 22:48
So idea number eight was, don’t push your limits to go slow. Don’t compare yourself to what you’ve seen in porn or other places, or what you’ve heard of from other people. And therefore you need to push yourself to that level. No, you don’t.

Céline Remy 23:01
Then last but not least, clean up afterward. Never go straight from the past to the policy. Never. And this is why using condoms and gloves comes in handy. Because all you have to do is pull it off. And you can keep playing. You don’t have to go wash your hands and use a brush and all of that.

Kevin Anthony 23:23
Yeah. I’m sort of laughing to myself because I can’t believe we actually have to really say that. But we have to actually say that. It’s important to clean up properly. afterward. It just is just don’t skip that step. Because I’m too horny. I’m too hot. I have to do this. No, no, you stop you slow down, you take care of what’s necessary.

Céline Remy 23:51
No pee if you had anal sex, just to empty anything without any condoms.

Kevin Anthony 23:57
Yeah, and, you know, shower pants.

Céline Remy 24:01
So yeah,

Kevin Anthony 24:02
all of that. I mean, you may not have to do all of that. We’re not saying you necessarily have to do all that. But just make sure that you’re taking proper cleanliness precautions, which you should be doing when you’re having sex anyway, all the time, whether there’s anal play or not, like keep things clean and tidy, so that people don’t get infections or things like that, and you can continue to play happily on into the future.

Kevin Anthony 24:27
If you don’t do that, and she ends up with chronic UTIs or, you know, other issues, whether it’s issued in the vagina issues in the anus, or you have issues with the like, monkey box. Well, yes, that is a possibility. You know, they do say that that is the main way that it is spread. So, yes, make sure that you’re doing your due diligence, it is in everybody’s best interest, yours and your partners.

Kevin Anthony 24:59
Okay, so Those are the nine ground rules for birth play. I’m sure that you could come up with a few more. Those are just the basics, right? We’re giving you the basic guideline of these are kind of the things you really sort of have to do when doing this.

Céline Remy 25:18
So let’s talk about how to prepare yourself. But now because it’s kind of all we have left.

Kevin Anthony 25:24
You know what, let’s do our ad first, and then we’ll come to how to prepare. Okay, so today’s sponsor is us. Shocking, shocking. Yeah, like that doesn’t happen every other show.

Kevin Anthony 25:41
So, if you are thinking that you might want to try some anal and you’re like, man, we don’t have the right supplies. We don’t have a sex blanket to make sure that we don’t get stains on our beds. We don’t have the right lube, we don’t have the right dildos, we need more condoms, we

Céline Remy 25:58
posted messenger for sure.

Kevin Anthony 26:01
prostate massage or whatever. On our website, we have a highly curated store for you to buy great affiliate products from handpicked affiliates, we have hand selected some great products to help support your health, sex life, and relationship. Remember that purchasing products from us and our affiliates helps support the work that we do and ensures that we can continue to help as many people as possible.

Kevin Anthony 26:28
So go to Céline remy.com, forward slash products, and there are links there to anything and everything you could possibly need to make your sex life experience better. And again, just remember, buying products from our affiliates help support us and help keep this show going.

Kevin Anthony 26:49
It does cost money, equipment breaks down, and we need to add new things we want to make a better experience. It takes time. There’s a lot involved in putting on a quote-unquote, a free podcast. So please go to Céline remy.com forward slash products and buy some cool stuff to have fun with. Alright, well,

Céline Remy 27:10
let’s get to how to prepare you. But

Kevin Anthony 27:13
yeah,

Céline Remy 27:14
yeah, baby. Alright, number one, make sure you add about movement and feeling empty. It’s not the right day if you’re constipated. It’s not the right day. If it hasn’t happened, choose and pick a day where that has

Kevin Anthony 27:34
happened. Yeah. So now this is where we need to talk. Well, this end number two really? Actually, let’s do number two, and then we’ll talk about the porn industry. And

Céline Remy 27:45
number two, should you use a syringe then? Or like one of those little like in Mr. Bob, because if you haven’t had a movement and you want to be cleaned, well, most of the time, they tend to make things messier, and liquid. So it’s better to stick with good fibers in your diet, increasing magnesium like at night so that in the morning, you have a good movement.

Kevin Anthony 28:10
Okay, so here’s where the stories you’ve heard about, are about people having explosive movements because of anal sex. They usually come from the porn industry. And the reason is, is okay, if you’re at home, and you’re thinking you might want to do some butt play, you know, your partner might be like, You know what, I didn’t actually have a movement today, or I didn’t have as many as I usually do.

Kevin Anthony 28:36
Because really, you should be having more than one a day if you’re really healthy. But that’s a whole nother thing. So, you know, you might decide, you know, today’s just not the day, but in the porn industry. It’s like, Thursday at, you know, two o’clock in the afternoon, and there’s an anal scene.

Céline Remy 28:55
And it’s kind of the same as like when you have an early appointment in the morning, and you’re like, please be booked before I go, I don’t want to. That’s right. And you’re like, and your body knows, and your body just doesn’t relax. And then you have you end up having to sit at the office.

Kevin Anthony 29:13
Yeah, well, you know, if you’re working in the office long enough, that’s unavoidable. But anyway, the point is, is that because they do not have the option of saying, You know what, today is just not the day for me like it has to happen. They will do all sorts of things to make bowel movements happen.

Kevin Anthony 29:31
And therein lies the problem with you know, the explosions you may have heard about. There are lots of porn stars who have talked about this. We watched a series a couple of years ago.

Céline Remy 29:45
Is it like asking a porn star? Yeah,

Kevin Anthony 29:47
I think it was called Ask a porn star. And it was absolutely hysterical. I don’t think it was on Amazon or something like that. I don’t really remember. But they would just ask, you know, a bunch of different porn stars, the same question and then they would Talk about their experience. And of course, they’re always asking them about their experience with anal sex scenes.

Kevin Anthony 30:05
And, you know, quite a few of them had funny stories to share about this exact thing happening. But what you learned from that when you listen to them is that the reason it’s happening is that they were doing things like this, they were giving themselves animals beforehand, they’re doing everything they could to try to clear everything out for the scene.

Kevin Anthony 30:25
And most of the time, that works fine. And then sometimes it doesn’t. And then you know, maybe if you’ve ever done an enema, you know, that doesn’t necessarily get it all out in the first dry,

Céline Remy 30:36
right? Especially if you’ve never done it before. Yeah.

Kevin Anthony 30:39
So here you are in the middle of an anal scene and an explosion happens, right? However, this doesn’t usually happen to regular people who decide to have ain’t no play. You know, maybe if you’re doing it all the time, you’re increasing your chances. But like the average couple who’s like, hey, let’s do a little bump play today. That way, they do it two, three times a year, maybe you know, and it’s like, the chances of that happening are really low.

Céline Remy 31:10
Well, let’s talk about a few things you should do. Use a washcloth to really clean your ass. And then when you shower, just insert a soapy finger. Go just a few inches deep, and clean things up. And you’re ready.

Kevin Anthony 31:28
Yeah, it’s not that complicated. Really? No. But you’ll often this is another thing you’ll often hear, especially from women like, Oh, it’s too much prep work. I don’t want to do all that tonight. Like, you know, it’s really an action not a lot of prep work.

Céline Remy 31:44
Hey, groom, you have to do a little bit because it helps to have little hair.

Kevin Anthony 31:49
Yes. Definitely better to have less hair there.

Céline Remy 31:52
Yeah. So that says it’s not rocket science. You can prepare but you can over-prepare. So just,

Kevin Anthony 32:03
you know, I want to say also, because I know that there are some people that are going to listen to this that are probably like anal experts. Oh, but you guys didn’t mention this. And you should also do this. And this is the best product for that. Okay. Here’s the thing. First of all, I’m not a huge Angel fan. I’m just not that a lot of guys are because it’s a fantasy.

Kevin Anthony 32:27
It is the forbidden fruit. It is a taboo thing that you’re not supposed to do. I think even in some places in the country, it’s technically even still illegal. Yeah. Right. So you know. Basically, that’s the main reason why a lot of guys want to do it because it’s that sort of taboo forbidden thing. You know, I’m fortunate that when I was really young, I had some girlfriends who were totally open to it, and I got to try it.

Kevin Anthony 32:54
And I was like, okay, whatever, you know, like, honestly, I personally think a fine-tuned vagina is way better than the ask why? Why is that? Okay? So you have the sphincter as the sphincters can tighten and relax, and some guys think that’s good. But the sphincter is only in a certain part. In other words, it’s only going to contract on part of your penis, of the vagina.

Kevin Anthony 33:20
On the other hand, a woman who has toned vaginal muscles can squeeze every part of your penis, she can do rolling squeezes, she can do stuff that makes you think that somehow there’s a hand in there with fingers doing all kinds of stuff. To me, it’s a much better sensation. And, you know, if I have a choice, I’d rather go where it’s better. So, you know, like, I got to try it a couple of times. I’m like, Okay, that was fine, you know, gray, and whatever. So

Céline Remy 33:55
I’m not a big no sex person, either. I don’t really like it to receive. I enjoy massages. Something about the reaming which, by the way, is licking of the anus. actually feels really good. And every now and then, a small butt plug, but plug. Good. Feel good.

Kevin Anthony 34:22
Yeah. So things like

Céline Remy 34:24
that. That’s the extent of what I like.

Kevin Anthony 34:26
Well, the reason I bring that up is not necessarily because y’all care about our personal preferences. Maybe you do, I don’t know. But, you know, I just bring that up, because I know there’s gonna be some people who are going to be like, Oh, this, that and the other thing.

Kevin Anthony 34:39
So I’m telling you right now, I am not a consummate, butt play expert. We’re just giving you basic advice here because we have learned through coaching people over many years, that as basic as we might be when it comes to this subject. A lot of people know even less than we do. So this is like, you know, this is why we titled this the beginner’s guide, right?

Kevin Anthony 35:05
This is the beginner’s guide, this is for people who are just thinking about it, and need some guidance. Now, having said that, if you are listening to this on our website, or you know, through your, your podcast application, or you’re listening to it on YouTube, if you’ve got valuable advice, share it in the comments, tell people what your experience has been like, what tips have you learned about this over the years that you think might help other people?

Céline Remy 35:37
Well, let’s talk about pain and discomfort. How do you deal with that?

Kevin Anthony 35:44
Don’t do it? No, just kidding. Okay, so this is another common question, what happens if it hurts? Okay? Well, some Discomfort is normal, especially if you’re a little tense,

Céline Remy 36:00
dated, but

Kevin Anthony 36:04
so what can you do about that? Okay, number one. Number one is, relax, you just need to relax. The more you relax, the less pain you will experience. The more you clench up and get tight, the more pain you will experience.

Céline Remy 36:23
I loop more lube. Try changing the position because maybe in the position you’re in, you’re tightening muscles. Try staying on the outside or like, really just giving yourself more of a butt foreplay. Yeah, there

Kevin Anthony 36:41
doesn’t actually have to be penetration. If you’re worried about pain, there doesn’t have to be penetration. The other thing is, there can be penetration, but do it with something smaller than a penis finger. Finger fingers, fine. That’ll do it for most people.

Kevin Anthony 36:56
That’s all you really need. It should be pleasurable. Yeah. And, you know, the thing about butt plugs, too, is they’re generally short, right? So they’re not, they’re not very long, not penetrating very deeply. So, you know, they’re basically just long enough to get past the first sphincter and not fall out.

Céline Remy 37:13
So you know, if that’s been slow down, breathe, relax. See if you can open up the area. Slowly keep at it. If it keeps hurting, go for something else. Switch position. Try something different. Until you find pleasure.

Kevin Anthony 37:35
And always remember, more lube more noob Gangadeen, bring lube, bring lube. Bring what the bass loop that’s an old old reference. Many of you might not get to, but it was a joke I made the other day because Céline was asking me to do a lot of things. And I, I felt like I was Gangadeen at that moment. And I made that joke. He was like, Gangadeen, what is that? It’s an old movie reference.

Céline Remy 38:09
Yeah. Which he made me watch later. And it was funny. Okay, let’s talk about some positions when you’re working with a no, I find that you know, what works best is where both the giver and the receiver can be relaxed. So honestly, being on your back, if you bet on your back neck and spine is super easy.

Céline Remy 38:36
You can bring your knees up to the chest, you could use a pillow under your butt. And you can even do it on your own from that position. kneeling on the side, or just laying down like that. So I think supine is a super easy one to start with. Face down is another option. Now face down is more vulnerable because you don’t really see what’s going on. So you got to have the trust and safety going on.

Kevin Anthony 39:11
Yeah.

Céline Remy 39:13
But when you face down you can also just fucking let go, you know doesn’t matter anymore. And you can rest your arms on the chair on the bed, you know, on your back. Yeah, it just is an easy one.

Kevin Anthony 39:36
Yeah, it also does a very good job of spreading the as cheeks and creating easy access

Céline Remy 39:44
to put a pillow underneath your belly. You know, then option number option is doggy style, where you get on all four, and that spreads things more. So may You can do a variation of the different ones, you know, when you’re being penetrated a certain one or a massage, you want to be more relaxed to the other one. These are different ideas.

Kevin Anthony 40:12
Yeah, so there are a few positions. I mean, you know, it’s not rocket science, you know? Pretty, pretty much most of the positions are going to be some version of bending over. The face-down one reminds me of that old song from like, the 90s. Face down, ass up. That’s the way we liked the fact. This makes me laugh.

Céline Remy 40:39
So maybe let’s talk briefly. I mean, hopefully, this show has helped you to demystify butts play. You have less fear, fewer questions, and you might even have some curiosity. So now, where do you go from there?

Kevin Anthony 40:58
To the but no, all jokes aside. So yeah, that’s a great question. Right? So maybe you had some curiosity. Now you’ve got some basic information, where do you go from there? And you know, I say the where you go from there is to have a conversation with your partner, and see if this is something you’re willing to try.

Céline Remy 41:16
Start massaging starts with a butt massage.

Kevin Anthony 41:24
But massages are the best they really are. It’s like, you go get a massage. You know, there’s, there’s a few areas in the body, they will absolutely never really touch. And the but is one of them.

Kevin Anthony 41:36
Like some people say, Oh, no, my massage therapist gets me but yes, she gets like the outer side of your glue, you know, like, but like getting closer to the middle to inside and digging, like a thumb into those sore muscles. Like if you work it out in the gym, or you’re cycling a lot of running or like, Man, that is like the greatest ever. Bump massage.

Céline Remy 41:58
You can play the doorbell on the anus. Take a let’s play with different sensations and different tools and toys. No need to go inside. You could go for that reaming and licking if that’s your thing. And then talk about what you’re willing to try inside. But plugs come in all sizes and shapes. Some are more comfortable than others. I don’t like them all, you know,

Kevin Anthony 42:33
I’ve noticed that the sex toy. The longer the

Céline Remy 42:37
stem, the bigger the easier it is for it to stay in. I have this really cute butt plug that I love. But it’s got a small stem. And if I get to turn down, because what’s cool is if you add a butt plug during vaginal penetration, it creates pressure and creates pressure on the pair Neil’s bond while you have penetration inside, you feel so full, so filled. But sometimes there’s a contraction that happens. And I did pop that thing out.

Kevin Anthony 43:14
Yeah, that’s popped out. It’s because that one doesn’t go in deep enough that it’s that stem is too short, but it’s the right size. Then we

Céline Remy 43:25
got another one with a longer stem. But I don’t like the shape as much. Yeah,

Kevin Anthony 43:29
it’s a little bigger, it’s harder. It’s actually hard to find a small size. It is but you can do it. So

Céline Remy 43:38
let’s talk about no beads, maybe what they are, and maybe how to use them.

Kevin Anthony 43:45
Yeah, so anal beads are something that obviously you put in you’re asked to they’re primarily designed to be slowly removed while you’re having an orgasm. And what that does is create contractions of the sphincter muscles which increases the sensation of the contractions that occurred during an orgasm and it can be highly pleasurable for some people.

Céline Remy 44:06
And you know, you have to see what you think. Do you like the popping, like pulling things out? Or do you like when things are in, stay in place and create fullness?

Kevin Anthony 44:20
Only one way to find out. Just trying? Exactly. So yeah, you know, that’s sort of the last thing that we have here. You’ve got button massages, anus massages, anal licking Angel beads but plugs fingers still those prostate massagers. The point is, that there are lots of options for you to incorporate some sort of blood play.

Kevin Anthony 44:43
Don’t always think it has to be penis in vagina or giant dodo and start being as an ass or giant dildo and ask. It doesn’t have to be just that. There are lots of possible options. And you know, another thing to is that a lot of these things are really designed aims to enhance the sensation of regular penetrative sex.

Kevin Anthony 45:06
Right? So it’s, you know, the idea isn’t like, Oh, we’re going to do butt stuff and I’m going to try to orgasm through that you could, but the idea is it’s just supposed to enhance the sensations that you feel when you’re having regular penetrative sex. Anything any, any last words? Any last but wisdom?

Céline Remy 45:30
Listen to you, but no, I think it’s, I think we did a good job. Again, if you want more on the prostate, and specifically how to use prostate massager as a couple go to Episode 137 or seven. Because we really spend a whole episode on that yeah,

Kevin Anthony 45:49
if you’re specifically interested in butt play as it pertains just prostate stuff, go listen to episode seven and episode 137. Otherwise, if you’re just looking to enhance your sex, or maybe experiment a little bit with the sensations that are possible, though some play with the anus, then rewind and listen to this one again.

Céline Remy 46:11
Brought the taboos that we brought some good light into this dark corner

Kevin Anthony 46:18
into this dark hole. Oh, the bus jokes never get old. No, they should. And believe me, I have held back probably 50% of the butt jokes I wanted to make during this episode. I squeezed that sphincter tight and held him back.

Kevin Anthony 46:40
All right, everybody. That’s all we have for this episode. And we will see you next week. We hope you liked this episode of the Love Lab podcast. If you enjoy this show, subscribe. Leave us a review and share it with your friends.

Céline Remy 46:57
And for more free exclusive content. Join us in the passion vault at Célineremy.com/vault.

Kevin Anthony 47:11
Thanks for listening. And remember,

Céline Remy 47:13
you’re amazing