How To Reignite The Passion In Your Relationship

Kevin Anthony 0:12
Welcome to the love lab podcast a safe place to get real about sex. Whether you’re a man, woman, single or couple, this is the show for you. Because Well, we are your hosts, Kevin Anthony and Celine Remy. All right, welcome back to the love lab podcast. And today we are celebrating

Céline Remy 0:33
Our one year podcast anniversary.

Kevin Anthony 0:36
Yes, this is Episode 52. We have delivered an episode every week for a whole year.

Céline Remy 0:45
That’s amazing. And we are super excited that you have been following us listening to us and just supporting us. We so happy that you are here, we’re so happy, we get to share our message with you all. And we just wanted to shout a big love to all of you.

Kevin Anthony 1:01
Yeah. And who is this episode sponsored by?

Céline Remy 1:06
This episode is sponsored by power and mastery, the most complete stamina training for men, and if you have not yet checked it out, and you want to know how to have harder, stronger erections, last longer in the bedroom and expand your sexual skills, go to powerandmastery.com.

Kevin Anthony 1:25
Alright, so we’re very excited about this episode. And as we said, it’s 52, it’s titled How to reignite the passion in your relationship. This is a subject that comes up many, many times we’ve given public talks on this subject, we, again, just this past weekend, we were having a discussion with a friend who’s having challenges in this area.

Kevin Anthony 1:48
It just comes up over and over and over again. And so we decided that would be a perfect subject for our one-year anniversary episode.

Céline Remy 2:00
Yeah. And so this episode is for you whether you want to save your relationship by bringing some passion back, or if you want to reignite a lukewarm relationship and make it a hot, steamy passionate one. One other thing that you know we’re going to share with you in this episode is the number one killing of passion, like the number one thing that kills the passion in a relationship.

Céline Remy 2:27
It’s definitely not what you think it is. And to be honest, it’s not poor communication. It’s not a lack of skills, money, or your in-laws, like of time, like have sex, or it’s not even like infidelity. It is something else. So stay with us. And we’ll tell you about it.

Kevin Anthony 2:46
Not that those things can’t affect them, because they do but it’s not the biggest piece and the biggest piece that we will get to in a minute. Yes, we’re teasing you a little. But the biggest piece is something that most people don’t even realize exists.

Céline Remy 3:02
Absolutely. We’re going to shed some light on that. Here’s what happened when people lose the passion in their relationship, the one thing that they start to do is they look outside of themselves for a fix. Oftentimes that looks like: “Hey, let’s try a new sex position”. Or go to this, “sexual adventure” we’ve never tried. How about learning the Kama Sutra or? Watch a porn movie, right?

Céline Remy 3:28
It’s like it’s something from the outside that will bring the spark or ignite something. So you always depending on something else. And if that something else is not hotter, bigger and better than the sparks not lit up.

Kevin Anthony 3:48
Yeah. And if and if your personal development junkie, like some of us, are. You will hopefully have learned at this point, that it’s all an inside job a really yet everything.

Céline Remy 3:59
Yes, absolutely. So if you have been in a relationship for a while, you probably know that it is a little bit difficult to find the balance between well, having safety, having comfort, having ease, and that still have like hot sex and passion, right? It’s kind of a dilemma. You’re like, well, I’ve won both. It’s not one or the other. Right? And you know, maybe your relationship right now has lost some of that and you more into the friend zone.

Céline Remy 4:35
By the way, have a great episode for you that you can go back to you on how to get out of the friend zone if that’s you. So listen to that particular episode. But if not, I think we’re going to be telling you what that number one thing you might be doing that’s in the way,

Kevin Anthony 4:51
you know, we should have brought one of our drums over so we could do a drumroll.

Kevin Anthony 5:00
All right, the number one, passion killer is lack of polarity.

Céline Remy 5:09
And you might be wondering, like, okay, polarity, what what are they talking?

Kevin Anthony 5:12
I know, there’s some odd silence in the audience, I can hear it. So yeah, what are we talking about when we’re talking about polarity? Well, basically, what we’re talking about is masculine and feminine energies. And before we go any further than that, I want to make sure that we are very clear that we are talking about masculine and feminine energies, who in the relationship takes on the role of the masculine and when the relationship takes on the role of the feminine.

Kevin Anthony 5:41
So obviously, in same-sex couples, you will see that one tends to be more masculine, one tends to be more feminine, regardless of what actual physical sex they are. And so it’s really important not to get hung up in the but what if we’re gay, what afford this and what if that, like, think of it in terms of energies, it’s not specific tied to physical gender,

Céline Remy 6:01
gender, absolutely. And as a matter of fact, as we will be discussing it, a lot of people embody, like, they might be in a female gender, body, and then have more masculine energy. So in order to have that spark in that polarity, basically, polarity is an energetic charge created by the differences between the masculine and the feminine.

Kevin Anthony 6:25
Exactly, it really is. So we call it polarity. Sometimes you might hear it referred to as you know, magnetism, or whatever chemistry maybe industry, but really think of it like a magnet. A magnet has a positive side. And the negative side, what happens when you try to put two of the same charge together, they repel each other, what happens when you put the opposites they stick together, and they hold together very well. And that really, the, it’s the same thing with people.

Kevin Anthony 6:57
So, you know, unfortunately, these days, there’s this big push to take gender out of everything. Right, and, and to see how there’s no difference between men and women, it’s all the same, you know, we should dress the same look the same like, and that is what’s killing the polarity these days.

Céline Remy 7:18
And I think we need to make a distinction because there’s, like, ultimately, there are two genders, okay, and there’s the masculine, feminine, and then there’s a multitude of sexual expression and orientations. Exactly. And I think a lot of people are getting confused with that nowadays. You can be a gender masculine, and then your orientation could be anything you want it to be, it doesn’t have to just like, be the sex that you were born with.

Céline Remy 7:51
I think if we got clear on that, there are these two bases. And then there’s this, like, so many variables possible to express your sexuality, I think it would make things much easier and much less confusing. But that’s a personal opinion. You don’t have to agree. But we were just going to throw it out there.

Kevin Anthony 8:11
Yeah. I think it’s really important that we really embrace the fact that there truly are differences, men, and women. You know, I understand where the women’s lib movement comes from, because they really wanted the equality in the workplace, they wanted equality and pay, they wanted equality and voting rights. All that stuff is awesome, and absolutely should be. And at the same time, as a woman, you are different than I am as a man.

Céline Remy 8:42
Yeah. And even if you’re, again, the same-sex couple, they’re going to be differences based on which energy you truly embody. Mm-hmm. And then, you know, we have hormones that are different the chemical messengers in our body, which affect our emotions, and what happens to in the body. And so even if we’re thinking, Well, yeah, there’s no difference between men, men, and women, physiologically, there are still differences, which will affect how we react.

Céline Remy 9:10
We don’t have to convince you, you got it. But when we talking about feminine and masculine, we’re talking about energy, so not specifically the gender. One more thing that we want to really bring. And I really love to talk about this one. So this is what I’m going for this. So when people think about feminine and masculine oftentimes is an idea that the masculine is the go-getter, and the feminine is passive.

Céline Remy 9:38
So if we were to sum it up. Masculine is penetration and feminine is receptive, and that’s the one passive. And there are no such things like, like, they both are active roles. So if you start to look at that, from that perspective, that they are both a side of the magnet that you can really understand it better.

Kevin Anthony 10:05
Yeah, it’s really, it’s really important to understand that. And I think too many people either don’t understand it or they, they just don’t want to understand it, maybe there’s too much pressure from the outside world telling them that’s not the case. But it really is, okay.

Céline Remy 10:21
So if we want to sum it up into two words, maybe we can think of presence and radiance. Okay, so we have our qualities here. So now let’s dive into the relationship that you might be in because the knowledge, you’re more familiar with polarity, and you understand that you need to be on opposite ends of the spectrum to have a really strong attraction, what we’ve noticed is that relationships can fall into three different categories. So you can be in a low polarity relationship. And if that’s the case, you really not that sexually attracted or polarized by each other, right?

Céline Remy 11:00
You might have a really good emotional connection. And this is the one we call the best friends syndrome, will love each other, everything is amazing. But the sex, right, and that’s a low polarity when you’re there

Kevin Anthony 11:13
People will say all there just isn’t that sexual chemistry. Hmm. So what they’re talking about is there’s a lack of polarity. Now, in some of these cases, you know, people will say, well, there’s, there’s really no spark, there’s no chemistry, there’s no polarity. But, but when we do have sex, it’s good. But there just isn’t that. Hmm. Yeah.

Céline Remy 11:37
So um, and, you know, like, we look at it more from a long term relationship, because if, okay, if you’ve never had polarity in the relationship, chances are you probably won’t get there. But if you had at least a good sex at first, and then it went down, and now you’re like, into that, like Best Friend Zone, but not much sex, then you can absolutely bring that

Kevin Anthony 12:00
bring it up. And you might be able to get that mean, sometimes there just isn’t polarity between two people. Yes. Right. And you just have to recognize that and say, okay, that’s, that’s just the way it’s going to be. But other times, that lack of polarity really has to do with how you and or your partner are showing up when you come together? And we’re going to talk about that a lot more, later on. Because what you bring in is directly responsible for what happens.

Céline Remy 12:28
Yes, yes, yes. So then we have the opposite. This is a high polarity relationship, where will basically can’t keep your hands off each other, right? And all you see all you have is this amazing off the charts, sex, but then everything else is kind of like, like, you don’t really have maybe that that comfort or that ease in that in that way, you know, like being able to maintain the communication and you don’t have the emotional intelligence and connection there.

Kevin Anthony 13:03
Yeah, these are the ones that tend to burn fast and bright. And it’s like, there’s tons of polarity and fire and sparks and magnetism and chemistry. And then as soon as that wears off the relationship.

Céline Remy 13:18
Absolutely, absolutely. So what we hoping that you want to be able to get into is what we call the conscious polarity. So you know, the subtle dance between the masculine and the feminine. You are able to polarize, you polarize at will, you can relax, you can have an emotional connection. And you can have hotness and passion. This is a really, you know, really interesting because it’s not something that just happens, right?

Céline Remy 13:48
Like Kevin was saying earlier, if you know what to do, you can bring that energy back, which means that you must intentionally cultivate the difference is a new relationship. It will not just happen by accident, you must create polarity.

Kevin Anthony 14:08
Yeah, and you know, some people just naturally have polarity, when we talk about a little bit more about, you know, like, how do you create polarity, sometimes when two people get together, you know, one is just like, they’re super masculine, and the other one just tends to be feminine, and then they have no problem creating polarity. Now it can fade a little bit as time goes by, depending on whether or not they stay true to themselves.

Kevin Anthony 14:31
Sometimes what happens is you, you get into this relationship, and you, you start to sort of compromising who you are, and, you know, especially like, say, from a masculine point of view, you know, you might enter into a relationship and you’re, you’re very firmly in your masculine, know, and you, you go out and you’re doing stuff with the boys, or your rock climbing, or martial arts, or whatever it is, you know, fixing cars, and then you get into a relationship. And it’s like, well, you know, you got kids, you’ve got a relationship. I don’t really have time to do the man things and not get my man time, then the strength of my masculinity maybe starts to go down a little bit.

Kevin Anthony 15:05
And that’s when you start to see things like, Oh, she’s not really initiating sex anymore. Or she doesn’t seem like she’s that interested in me anymore. And it’s like, sometimes it’s literally just because the things that were attractive to her the beginning, you’ve stopped doing?

Céline Remy 15:21
Well, because you started spending all your time with her, you studied agreeing to everything she wanted, even when it’s not always to your best interest. It’s a very fine line between being a nice guy and also just being a strong guy.

Kevin Anthony 15:36
Yeah. And, you know, this is something that we talk about a lot, right? There’s a big difference between what I always call the macho asshole mound, and what we would call more of a conscious, healthy masculine. And you know, the old paradigm, the old macho asshole is like, it’s my way or the highway, and I don’t care and there’s no reason for it. It’s just because I said, so and because I’m the man and I run this family. And, you know, there’s no consciousness behind what the decisions are, how they’re made, there’s very generally very poor communication, about why something is the way it is, or why you want somebody to do something.

Kevin Anthony 16:12
So that’s, that’s the old paradigm. That’s what all the feminists were fighting against, was people who are like, well, I’m the man and you’re the woman in there for your second class. And that’s just the way it is. That’s what they are fighting against. Right? So the more healthy modern masculinity says, Hey, I’m firmly a man. Right? So I’m going to naturally want to take charge. But at the same time, I’m going to be aware and conscious of your needs, desires, and wants. Mm-hmm. And take that into consideration.

Kevin Anthony 16:45
And be open to changing being open to, hey, if I say, Okay, today, we’re going to go out to dinner, we’re going to go to this restaurant, you know, and then you’re like, you know, I’m not really in the mood for that. It’s not a well, that’s where we’re going.

Céline Remy 16:59
Yeah, I don’t care. Oh, okay.

Kevin Anthony 17:01
Well, what are you in the mood for? What would you like?

Céline Remy 17:06
So what I love about this example is, a lot of guys sometimes feel shy to like, well, but what if I’m like, overstepping, and like, Okay, well, if I make a decision, and here’s a, here’s the thing, guy, we just want you to make decisions for us. We won’t always listen, but the fact that you stepped in and was like, hey, let me take you out. And how about we go for Mexican food? Then and then it gives you the chance to check-in and then she can be like, you know, I really wanted Thai food. So this goes well, because then you’re like, awesome, let me take you and let’s go have Thai food.

Céline Remy 17:41
But if you had started from a place of like, Hey, honey, do you want to go out? What do you want to eat? Chances are she could have been like, I don’t know, well, I don’t know. Now, I’m not really in the mood, I don’t really know what I want. That could have been like one of those like, kind of icky discussion,

Kevin Anthony 18:00
Something like this happens all the time when neither person will step up and make a decision. Because one’s afraid of I don’t want to impose my will. I was like, Well, I’m not really sure what I want. And I don’t want to impose my will, it just destroys chemistry. Now, what’s interesting about this, you said that what you know, as women, you really just want guys to make the decision. And I want to make sure that the listeners understand what you mean by that, which is that, yes, you want us to make the decision. But you don’t always want us to make the decision. Right.

Kevin Anthony 18:35
So what that really means is, all she wants to know is that you are there and that you are capable, and able and ready and willing, in any moment to make a decision that needs to be made. It doesn’t mean you actually have to go with that decision.

Céline Remy 18:51
No, I just want you to make a decision, like start something, and then I’m still going to choose where we going.

Kevin Anthony 18:59
But yours happening, but that’s exactly it. That’s exactly it. I don’t know if any of our listeners here have followed the work of David date, I know he can be a bit of a controversial character. But you know, a lot of what he says really is true, when he talks about this, these women are going to test men, right? And they test us because they just want to know that they can rely on us and want to know that when they test us, when they ask us those trick questions or, you know, do those types of things that we don’t fold, we don’t fall apart, we don’t lose the polarity. Absolutely, absolutely. And one of the problems that we have is that most people

Céline Remy 19:41
they stuck in, operating in, in the wrong energy, that’s the opposite of their core energy, right? Because we had all these ideas, you know, I need to be a strong woman. I can totally see that even within myself, you know, first of all, when I grew up, I was kind of thinking about the prince charming, that was going to saved me, and then I moved out of that phase. And I was like, I don’t need a man, I don’t need a prince, I’m going to do it all and I’m going to do this myself. Then you kind of stepped into that place of like, I choose to have a man around. That’s a very, very different thing because it might look the same that it did when you needed that outside Prince.

Céline Remy 20:22
But how you feel and how you react to it from the inside out is very different. And so what we see nowadays is that we have a massive energy flip flop like women men, they go like. Men have been told that they need to become they can be like dictators anymore, and they need to be more sensitive. And then women have been told that, hey, you can do it all like you can be this strong woman who gets shit done. And then it’s like, yeah, there’s no room for anybody else to support it. So that’s, unfortunately, something that we see. But if you are now more familiar with what it takes where to be on the spectrum of the polarity, then you can start to connect with your inner energy more.

Céline Remy 21:12
So what does it look like to be more feminine? Sometimes it looks like to allow other people to guide you. But it also looks like to not constantly compete with the masculine. And that’s a really, really important thing. Because if you constantly trying to overpower him, you and your masculine and it’s not being in the feminine,

Kevin Anthony 21:37
I have a great story about that. Love you tell, try to do it really quickly. But I was in a relationship years ago. And I noticed that sometimes when we would have sex, it would be awesome, and it would really work. And then other times it would just really wouldn’t work. It would feel like we were just butting heads the whole time like it was more of a wrestling match than it was actual, you know, lovemaking. And I just couldn’t wrap my head around why sometimes it was so good. And sometimes it just really didn’t work.

Kevin Anthony 22:09
And so I was really trying to figure this out. And one day I had this idea. I’m like, wait a minute, I started to see the pattern. And the pattern was, was that whenever we got together when I was very tired, maybe had a long day, maybe had to make a lot of decisions that day, I used to have a very high-stress job. And at night, I just wanted to not make any decisions. I just wanted to sit back and relax. And in those moments, that’s when things didn’t work. Well, Mm-hmm. And in the moments where I had plenty of energy, and I came in all masculine and I would just go for everything would work well.

I realized at that moment what was happening, which was that when I was being too soft and passive because I was tired, and I just didn’t want to, you know, amp up the masculinity, that that’s when things went wrong. And so I concocted this experiment in my head.

Kevin Anthony 23:03
I said, I’m not going to tell her what I’m going to do, because I don’t want it to influence the experiment. All I did was the next time I realized that this was happening like this wasn’t working very well, that I was just going to no matter how tired I was, I was going to embody every ounce of masculinity that I possibly could.

I tried it the next time this happened. And it was awesome, huh. And so then I was like, Okay, this is only one data point. So I don’t know if it will repeat itself every time. And so I said, Okay, I’m going to try this again. So I did, and I got the same result. And I was like, Okay, now I’m pretty sure I know what’s going on.

Kevin Anthony 23:54
Fast forward, every time I would do it, it would work. Then we went to a workshop that was being taught by a man who is basically teaching the same types of stuff that David Deeda does. I had an opportunity to talk to him with her afterward. And I said, Hey, so you’re teaching all this stuff about polarity and all that. Let me tell you about my own situation, you can tell me what you think. And I described the entire thing to him. And he just stood there looked her right in the eye and said, Absolutely. We walked away from that experience. She said this is all bullshit. And I said, Oh, yeah, well, I’ve been doing this for the last month. It’s been working.

Céline Remy 24:30
Absolutely. So I love this example. And I think that it would be really cool if we could, like, give some examples to our listeners of things that they can do. So the first step, obviously, is to reconnect with you on energy, whether it’s feminine energy, masculine energy, whatever it takes to like, feel like you are into that space. That’s the one where you feel at ease and natural, and you don’t have to push yourself. I think that’s very important to for women to understand that because I think that we are very talented, and we can do it all. But just because we can doesn’t mean we should.

Céline Remy 25:09
Just because we can doesn’t mean that it’s a fun experience for us. Pay attention to this, like what are the things that you can naturally do where you don’t have to think about where it feels good when you do it. When you are more in your feminine you focus on the experience, when you are more in your masculine you focused on the result. And so that’s it’s not so much what you do, it’s how you do it.

Céline Remy 25:41
Okay, so spend time focusing on your expands as a woman and being like, into the sensations and that will help you to be more connected with your feminine if you guys spend time and like making a plan, having something to go or to do and having this goal that you reaching and this will like, absolutely connect you with your masculine energy.

Kevin Anthony 26:03
Yeah, absolutely. You know, the thing is, like, I want to use the term take charge. And that’s true. But take charge from a conscious place. Yeah, just just make sure that she knows that you’ve got a plan and that you can implement this plan at any moment. And that you’re also open to completely changing based on what she needs at the moment.

Céline Remy 26:29
Hmm. So here are a few tips that we want to leave you with that you can do so number one, you want to spark your sense of adventure and creativity. There is a real connection between your creative energy and your sexual energy. So if you not feeling the passion, the attraction, and the sexuality, take an honest look is your life feeling juicy? Are you having like you creative flows and juices? Or is it just kind of like dry, and, and boring and kind of the same all in all. So if that’s the case, do some new things and adventures. So it could be as simple as taking a different road back home, it could be a little adventure of like, let’s just go visit this or even going to a museum you’ve never visited.

Céline Remy 27:19
I mean, it could be very simple doesn’t have to be a very elaborate adventure of climbing Mount Everest, right? It could be, but it doesn’t have to be. And, you know, when you do something new together a creates a new bond. And that’s really part of the thing here off like reigniting that spark.

Kevin Anthony 27:42
Yeah. So the next one on the list is do something that gets you in touch with whichever energy you really resonate with. For instance, like as a guy, I got to do things that make me feel like a guy. That could mean you know, going out and doing a hard workout or martial arts or rock climbing or fixing something building something you know, could be building your wife planter beds in the backyard but you got to get out the power tools. You know, you’re like you’re cutting hammer and screw and nail and you know, whatever.

Céline Remy 28:15
Helping me do a Yoni steam chair.

Kevin Anthony 28:17
Yeah, exactly helping you build a Yoni steam chair, whatever it is, do something that makes you feel like the guy that gets you in touch with your inner masculinity. And for women, the same thing, whatever that is, whether it’s dancing or spending time with the girlfriends or

Céline Remy 28:33
you know, baking or drawing or sewing or like anything like being in nature, receiving a massage, giving massage, like all of these things will boost your oxytocin will help you feel more feminine in your body as well. Yeah, of course, you need to also remember we always talk about that constant arousal, right? And so you gotta like, grab him by the cock and, you know, make him your hero.

Céline Remy 29:03
You have to sexualize him a little bit. And I’m going to combine both things he had to like drop all the different cutesy names that you have for each other. I know a lot of people like to call each other Honey Bunny and, and Babe and cutesy things. And those things are cute, but they don’t you don’t want to fuck that.

Kevin Anthony 29:22
Yeah, well, like, like, like somebody used the term this weekend had some boy to describe a 45-year-old man. Yeah, it’s like, No, no, no, he’s a handsome boy.

Kevin Anthony 29:32
You saying, handsome man. Absolutely. Right. Nobody wants to fuck a boy. Exactly. And I

Céline Remy 29:39
hear that a lot like, my girlfriend sometimes like, Oh, he’s such a cute boy. And I’m like, oh, like that’s kind of like a mommy. Yeah, like, it’s like, it doesn’t really work out. So remember that you want to see each other as sexual beings.

Céline Remy 29:54
And I have to say, the cock is one of the direct ways to a man’s heart. So just even grabbing his guard acknowledging that his sexual really works. And the way to do that for women. Don’t grab her by the Percy. Unless she specifically asked knowledge, her beauty acknowledges, praise her for just like what she brings into your life.

Kevin Anthony 30:22
I would add in there to like recognize when she does her hair differently, recognize what clothes she puts on how I noticed you put that belt on? I know some guys are going off. Fuck, how am I gonna recognize all that stuff? But really all it just takes a little bit of awareness. Like he wears of the same stuff pretty regularly. It’s not like you got to memorize a whole ton of thing is like, if you see something you don’t recognize to say, oh, wow, I’ve never seen that before. That looks really great. Oh, I see that your hair a little differently.

Céline Remy 30:52
Absolutely. These are good advice there, Kevin. So another one is very important here is to give each other some special. And you don’t want to spend every single evening together every day of every day ever. Together, even though it’s really romantic. And it’s awesome. And you know, Kevin and we work together, we both work from home, we have businesses together, we live together, we are very much together a lot.

Céline Remy 31:17
There are still times where one of us will be like have really wanted to read tonight or do this particular thing. And they always like credit, go to your thing, I’m going to be in this room of the house and, and play guitar or do that, you know, and it’s these moments are very important. If you cultivate your independence and cultivate the year, just who you are your essence, then you can have more to give to your partner.

Kevin Anthony 31:41
And it helps if you have enough space, you know, we’ve actually worked with couples who live in these tiny little spaces. And they’re like, I can’t getaway. I need space. I can’t deal with it. And you know, obviously, if you don’t have space, then physically go out go house. But yeah, this idea is just to create some space. And this is a great time to spend time with the girls or spend time with the guys. And yeah, you can do those masculine and feminine things while getting space at the same time. Absolutely.

Céline Remy 32:10
And when you do that, then coming together will be easier. You’ll miss each other at stuff.

Kevin Anthony 32:15
Yeah. All right, next one on the list is power play. Now, this is an interesting one, this is one of the areas where I really see that BDSM can have a real positive role in people’s sex lives. Because it allows you to explore those power dynamics in a safe environment where you know that like if somebody’s being really dominant in one way, this is not the way it is every day of life.

Céline Remy 32:46
Yeah, and power plays really nice to be fully into the like submissive part, or fully into more dominant. And it’s interesting to play with that together to were don’t do both at the same time, because you’re not doing either one, but take turn at times and see, and is that one that just doesn’t feel good at all, for your dynamic. And but once you find something that works, it’s really good sometimes to play with these.

Kevin Anthony 33:15
Yeah. And one of the things that I’ve seen happening quite effectively through BDS, and this is if you have one, or maybe even both people in a couple, who are sort of afraid to really fully embody whatever their energy is. So like, for instance, as a guy, I’ve seen some guys who, for whatever reason, maybe it’s cultural programming, maybe it’s because it grew up with all women, maybe it’s because they’re just in the nice guy, you know, syndrome.

Kevin Anthony 33:43
But they’re really kind of afraid to step up and really be masculine like you can see it in their face, they’re actually afraid of what would happen if they do it. And so power play can give them the safe space to be like, okay, I can step into this now. It’s like a character I can step into, and I can see, what would this be like? How would this feel is this? Does this resonate with me? Is this something I could do?

Céline Remy 34:05
That’s good, that’s really good. It doesn’t have to be whips and chains, you know, we are very vanilla. We play with just the energy of it, of like having somebody on top. Somebody who’s like more receiving and stuff like that. And if you want to play with toys and tools and chains, and if you think that’s also great,

Kevin Anthony 34:26
Just have excellent communication before you go into it.

Céline Remy 34:28
Absolutely. Of course, here’s another thing that you absolutely want to do… Here is another tip: appreciation.

Kevin Anthony 34:38
Yeah, and the spin on this one, though, is appreciate the things that make one or the other masculine or feminine. And we talked about appreciation a lot, there are tons of benefits of it. But in this case, what really helps the polarity is, you know, as a woman, if you say, Hey, I really appreciate the way you were able to fix that wall or, or wow, you know, the planter beds you built for me are amazing, you know, like, appreciate those things.

Kevin Anthony 35:06
And vice versa to right? So as a guy, you want to appreciate the things that make her a feminine woman, like, wow, I love the way you put that outfit together.

Céline Remy 35:16
I love it. So we have three more tips. And here’s what we’re going to do. I’m going to, and Kevin’s going to do the last one because I know he’s like he needs to do that one tip to reignite that passion. take a vacation together, take a weekend away or a date night, if you can go far like and you have kids or money’s an issue like but take some, like, even if it’s a staycation, just the fact of getting out of the routine. And getting out of your environment can have to reignite some of that newness and those feelings. And then you want to do caring acts for each other and speak each other’s love language every day, it’s going to be really hard to feel passionate to with somebody if you don’t feel loved.

Céline Remy 35:59
You need nurture that every day to through simple little actions, they go a long way. And actions speak louder than words. Because you can say I love you all you want. But if you don’t show it through the caring and the actions of every day, the person is not going to only just trust and listen to the words.

Kevin Anthony 36:19
Yeah. And the last one, it’s kind of what we call the starving lion. And by that, I don’t mean put yourself on a fast for a week. No, no opposite sex or anything like that. That’s not what we’re getting at here. We’ve talked about this before. And actually, we have a big piece about this in our power mastery course I believe it’s in sexual mastery. But it’s about the presence. Right and so when we say starving lion what we really mean is when we come together, I am so present with her at that moment that I look at her the way a starving lion.

Kevin Anthony 37:00
We’re looking at Gazelle or something, you know, like, think about you know, even your cat, right? When your cat is stocking something, nothing can move his attention. Absolutely. He is 100% focused on that thing that he wants. And that’s really what she wants. She wants that.

Céline Remy 37:23
Yes, she wants that. That’s it.

Kevin Anthony 37:25
Thank you. I was gonna say that, but it means more coming from you. That’s what she wants. She absolutely wants that from you want me desire me? More? Eat me? Oh, yeah. So that’s, that’s another way. I mean, if you can really embody that, as a man, you’re already going a long way towards creating that polarity. So the last thing I want to say before we wrap this episode up, is to keep in mind that everybody has both masculine and feminine energy within them, right? So we’re not saying that guys are all masculine, women are all feminine, we all have both. It’s just that in somebody that identifies as masculine, the masculine energy is stronger, more pronounced, and vice versa with somebody that resonates with the feminine energy.

Kevin Anthony 38:12
So keep that in mind. We all have both. It’s important to cultivate both. And if you want to have good polarity, if you really want that chemistry, then you have to make sure that the two people are whichever role they are. They’re opposite. The opposite.

Céline Remy 38:28
That’s the spark. Absolutely. So you’re not armed with all the knowledge that you need to reignite the passion in your relationship.

Kevin Anthony 38:35
Yes.

Kevin Anthony 38:36
All right, everybody. We had a great time with this episode. We’re so happy we finally got to talk about this subject. We hope it was helpful for you. And we will see you next week.

Kevin Anthony 38:52
We hope you liked this episode of the love lab podcast. If you enjoyed this show, leave a comment and share it with your friends.

Céline Remy 38:59
And if you Baltimore we have an entire digital library with the best sex tips and Relationship Advice at kevinanthonycoaching.com. That’s kevinanthonycoaching.com. So join us in the sex vault to continue this adventure.

Kevin Anthony 39:16
Thanks for listening.

Céline Remy 39:17
And remember, you’re amazing.