How To Make Date Night Sexy And Fun

Kevin Anthony 0:11
Welcome to the Love Lab podcast a safe place to get real about sex. Whether you’re a man, woman, single, or couple, this is the show for you.

Céline Remy 0:20
We are your hosts, Kevin, Anthony, and Céline Remy. And we are here to guide you to go from good to amazing in the bedroom and beyond.

Kevin Anthony 0:27
Alright, welcome back to the Love Lab podcast. This is episode 184. And it’s titled How to Make date night sexy, and fun. So this is actually going to be a fun show because we’re gonna talk a lot about what we do for date nights. And we always have great date nights. I mean, you know, we’re, we’re six years in now have weekly date nights, and we not have fun, because that’s so true or sexy time and date night.

Kevin Anthony 0:58
So, you know, it’s something that comes up fairly often, you know, when we coach clients, especially couples that have been together for a long time, this is a question they have well, it’s like, how do we? How does it how do we make fun we do the same thing? Or near? The other big question we get all the time is really like, we have to schedule a date night. You know, so what are the things that I always say is, Well, do you what outcome do you want, right?

Kevin Anthony 1:26
Because the whole thing is, is you have an outcome that you want, you want to connect, you want to have fun, you want to have sex? Are you doing the things that it takes for that to happen? And you know, I would say nine times out of 10 when we’re working with people, the answer to that is no. Like they’re literally not doing the things that would equal the outcome that they want. And then they don’t understand why they don’t get the outcome that they want.

Kevin Anthony 1:52
So because this is so common, we decided we would do a whole show on it. Today, we’re going to cover, you know what some of the research says about date nights, you know because we tell people all the time, you got to have a date night and half the time they roll their eyes at us right? Well, we’re going to give you the research as to why that’s important.

Kevin Anthony 2:10
We’re going to give you our eight keys to a date night. And that’s really the eight keys to a successful date night. And then we’re going to give you a list of like sexy ideas and fun ideas that you can mix and match and put together to create amazing date nights.

Céline Remy 2:31
The bottom line is if you hate doing date night, then you’re doing it wrong. And we hope that by the end of today’s show episodes, you will feel inspired and have a renewed enthusiasm for the wonders of date nights. But before we get started, let’s give a big shout-out to our sponsor’s power and mastery. If you want to join the secret club of men who are great in bed, then check out power in mastery at powerandmastery.com it is the most complete sexual mastery training for men.

Céline Remy 3:03
Whether you want to have harder erections and last longer or increase your sexual skills. There is something for you at power and mastery.com. So go check it out at the end of this episode, the link will be in the description below, or simply type power in mastery.com. So let’s start with the beginning of things why we have a date night and how we do it right.

Céline Remy 3:25
And if you are a regular listener of the Love Lab boss gas, you probably have heard us talk about some of our rules, our airports are guidelines for date nights. And this is something that we are very big on the first date night we ever had was because it was our first date. That is correct. And that first date has remained as our date nights since its conception.

Kevin Anthony 3:54
Yep, it absolutely has.

Céline Remy 3:56
And when it’s it is on a Tuesday night, if something comes up, we reschedule date nights. If one of us travels if there’s a particular I don’t know, event or something we want to go to somebody

Kevin Anthony 4:09
doesn’t feel well, yes, families in town, whatever it is that because a lot of stuff happens in life, right? There’s always things because that’s another thing that people say is well, but if we scheduled date night, what happens if you know one of the kids is sick, or we can’t find a babysitter or you know, make your list of 1000 things that could possibly happen and get in the way.

Céline Remy 4:32
You also want to make sure that you’re not just always coming up with excuses to get out of the date night. And this is why it’s important that if the date night needs to be moved, it has to be rescheduled. You don’t just let it fly and be like, oh, we’ll just do it next week. Like it has to be rescheduled within a few days of when the date night was supposed to be.

Kevin Anthony 4:52
Yeah. Now it’s possible that maybe every night that week happens to be busy because some people really are that busy and That’s okay. The point is you made an effort because what happens is, oh, it’s not gonna work tomorrow. Oh, you know, we’ll figure something else out later. And then the next day goes by and the next day goes by and the next day goes by and it never happened. Well, you can be

Céline Remy 5:13
creative because you did night usually could be a two or three hours window. What if you were like, Hey, why don’t we do two short nights or afternoon this week, because we’re busy during the night, or a weekend. Exactly. And that’s part of the fun of for So how we do it right is we are creative, and we are somewhat flexible. We have the guidelines that for date night, it has just a couple of things. Number one, we have to be doing something together.

Céline Remy 5:43
So it’s not the time to watch a movie or cruise, social media, any of those things. And number two, there has to be naked time. Naked time does not equal penetration, most often ends in penetration. But I have no expectation that it has to be penetration. Naked time is simply about honoring the fact that we are more than just business partners, parents, whatever titles that we have, that we are husband and wife, or committed couple and that we are sexual beings, and that we are going to honor that part of ourselves and for the nakedness.

Céline Remy 6:26
We call in that sensuality, the era’s part. And that’s one of the keys we’ll talk more about later. So these are our really short guidelines to make it successful. And to make it right.

Kevin Anthony 6:40
Okay, so we’ve given you sort of our spiel on why we think date night is important, and why we’ve always made it a priority to do dates. No. But what does the science say? Because nobody believes anything these days unless science has

Céline Remy 6:55
said it. So hey, it’s been fact-checked. So, we found a few different studies out there a few years old, but they still are pretty relevant. So Harry Benson from the marriage Foundation, and Steve McKay, from the University of London studied a group of almost 10,000 couples, with a young child to find out what date night habits the most successful couples had in common.

Céline Remy 7:23
So see, they’ve selected a high number of people. So we’re not just looking at a smaller number of like, 100 people 1000 is a good sample size it is. And they also chose the hardest between because they had a young child, which, as we all know, bringing in somebody else, and having a kid really makes things harder.

Kevin Anthony 7:46
Oh yeah, it will significantly reduce your chances of being able to even have a date night.

Céline Remy 7:51
But here’s what’s fascinating. So the frequency of date nights broke down in this fashion. There was 11% of the people had a once a week or more date night. 30% had a once a month. 23% had less often than once a month, and 36% had hardly ever, which is a lot of people hardly ever, like

Kevin Anthony 8:16
more than a third. Yes, a third of the sample size didn’t do any date night at all.

Céline Remy 8:24
And hence they monitor these people for over 10 years. And it turns out that the people, couples who had date nights, once a month, had the highest odds of staying together compared with the other groups. But that was only true for married couples, not couples who simply lived together cohabiting couples, I don’t really know why.

Céline Remy 8:46
But that was the data and we just copied it the way it was to give it to you straight. So if you are thinking, Yes, I wanted to date No, but it’s too much. Once a month was the sweet spot for people. We don’t have kids we can commit to once a week. But we get it that if you have children if you have different things once a month, or maybe twice a month. These are kind of your sweet spots.

Kevin Anthony 9:10
Yeah, I’m really surprised that the once-a-week or more didn’t fare better in this study. But we also don’t know

Céline Remy 9:18
a whole lot of the details of the quality of the date night. Yeah,

Kevin Anthony 9:22
we don’t know any of that stuff. So but I would say I mean, what once a month would be your bare minimum. Yes, like the bare minimum. Think about it, like once a month. That’s, to me, that sounds like a long time in between. You know, think about it this way. If you were single and dating, right, especially in today’s modern world, where we have all these dating sites and all these apps and stuff like that. If you’re single in dating, and you only go on one date a month, how do you feel about that?

Kevin Anthony 9:53
I can remember when I was single, I would be thinking wow, that’s a long time in between dates, and most To my single friends who are dating, um, I can almost guarantee you they feel the same way. Like, I mean, only one date, like a month. The guys I know would be masturbating, you know, five times a day, a day in a month, right? So the reason I bring that up is because of thinking about it when you’re dating.

Kevin Anthony 10:20
For some reason, you think one day a month is like way, not enough. But all of a sudden, now you’re married or you’re in a committed long-term relationship, and you’re like, oh, once a month is fine. What what’s changed is the question, right? The perspective

Céline Remy 10:37
and how you show up. And you got to find a fine line between comfort and novelty because comfort is what brings you closer. And it’s wonderful because it develops intimacy and you have the trust and the bonding that happens in the relationship. But too much comfort also will kill the passion. And the polarity or the excitement, you got to have something that like that pulls you away like that, that’s a difference.

Céline Remy 11:08
And you can get that through over having you know, different things that you do. And then you come back together or through having novelty because it brings in that element of newness. And for married couples, this is really what we are always challenged with is finding that balance between the closeness that we experienced and that we love so much, but still keeping up the passion.

Céline Remy 11:30
And I truly believe that date night is one way to still show up in a different way in your relationship and, and continue putting in some of that energy. Before we give you some of the keys, I want to quickly go over another study because it was quite fascinating. This one was done by the National marriage project. And it found that wives who spent a couple of times sorry, with their husbands, they call a couple of times that night. Okay, so that’s their term.

Céline Remy 12:00
So wives who spend a couple of times with their husbands at least once a week are 3.5 times more likely to enjoy above-average levels of sexual satisfaction compared to wives who have couple times less than once a week. So that particular study did find that the once-a-week is the sweet spot. And likewise, say, let’s talk about the husbands here has been who spend more couples time with their wives are 3.3 times more likely to enjoy above-average levels of sexual satisfaction compared to their peers who have a couple times less than once a week.

Kevin Anthony 12:35
Okay, so if you want to be sexually satisfied, let me put it this way. If you want to triple your chances of being sexually satisfied in your relationship, triple your chance, not just that not like 10% better, not even 100 but triple your chances of being sexually satisfied in your relationship. Do you have a once-a-week date night?

Céline Remy 13:03
Oh, yeah. So let’s get to some of the keys here because we got to get into the nitty-gritty to make sure that you’ve got the gist of it. And so that you can go the distance because it’s easy to have a date night in the beginning. It’s easy when you have the hormones and that honeymoon phase where everything is beautiful, and you’re so in love. But once you start to be in life together and let stressors get in the way, it’s much harder. But if you have a good foundation in place, you can withstand anything that life throws at you anything.

Kevin Anthony 13:37
Yes. Okay, so we have the eight keys to a successful date night. The first one we’re going to skip over real fast because we’ve already talked about it is to make sure you have one.

Céline Remy 13:49
So it’s a date night did afternoon did lunch, I don’t care when midnight snack.

Kevin Anthony 13:57
You have to make sure that you have a date night I mean that

Céline Remy 14:02
well technically, if it’s not in the calendar, it’s not real. I mean, look at how you live your life, anything that matters. You put it down into your calendar, whether it’s picking up your kids from soccer, getting your head or surfing, or meeting with this client there, or whatever that is it’s in the calendar.

Kevin Anthony 14:17
There are some people going I don’t have a calendar well if you don’t, you should because life is way too busy to remember everything without the calendar.

Céline Remy 14:24
I don’t think in this day and age people don’t have a calendar anymore. I

Kevin Anthony 14:27
wouldn’t be surprised there are a few of you out there. I know it I know you’re winging it by the seat of your pants. You’re writing down like little lists on pieces of paper that you lose and then can’t find Yeah, I know there’s a few of you out there like that.

Céline Remy 14:39
I don’t care if you have an old-fashioned paper calendar and you’re not doing the online thing it’s fine too. But it was such a pain in the ass today. I switched from like I was a die-hard paper calendar-like, diary for the longest time and a few years back. I was like a really really have to shift things over and so I went online and I did screw up.

Céline Remy 15:02
And I did have two clients show up at the same time at my door. And it was very embarrassing. It’s the only time that I ever screwed up clients’ appointments but I made it work. In the end, everybody got happy. And it was embarrassing, but

Kevin Anthony 15:17
I thought it was the greatest thing ever. When I finally got on like an actual calendaring like on my phone, and computer thing, my family thought it was great. I remembered birthdays, and like all kinds of things, I didn’t remember before. So highly recommend it.

Céline Remy 15:34
Alright, number two, plan the date night ahead of time. So this is a great concept, because what I have found, and I’m going to talk from the woman’s perspective is number one, if I plan something, whether it’s me or a Kevin, because it’s also good to take turns on who plans it. But if something is planned to have it ahead of time, I can start to think about it and get turned on and excited and use my imagination to start getting some arouse or going some excitement got something to look forward to.

Céline Remy 16:08
Absolutely. Also, if something is planned, it makes it easier by the end of the day, because I did night is in the evening. And sometimes if I work too hard, or give my energy to other things, I kind of show up to date night a bit tired. And if I have to start thinking at that moment, from that place of being depleted, what are we going to do, it definitely becomes much more difficult to muster the energy.

Céline Remy 16:35
And yeah, so having planned ahead before makes it that even if I show up tired, it’s okay. Because data is also about being real, you don’t have to be like always having full energy, always feeling perfect. You could be bloated that evening, you could be emotional, you could be bleeding, you could be anything in between as long as you like, like not throwing up, but you could be less than ideal. But this is what it means to be in a relationship, you show up independently of how you are.

Kevin Anthony 17:05
Yeah, and I’ll add for the men to here’s another thing, if you plan the date ahead of time, it is a huge turn-on for her. She wants to know that you’re a man with a plan, she wants to know that she can put this into your hands and it will get done. Right. So anytime that you can plan it ahead of time. Now, here’s the thing, we talk about this all the time, too, but you don’t have to stick 100% of the plan.

Kevin Anthony 17:31
It’s not like because you planned it, and you’re the guy that everything has to go exactly your way. Because that’s honestly never gonna happen. You’re dealing with women here, right? I mean, you’re dealing with females. Inevitably, she’s gonna go. Now I’m not in the mood for that tonight.

Céline Remy 17:45
And by the way, if you plan is a movie and dinner or dinner, movie, whatever order, you’ve got to look at other things. And we’ll talk about that later. This is not what we’re talking about. It

Kevin Anthony 17:55
isn’t and I’ll say this, that’s still better than not having a date night. Alright, so if that’s the best you got, okay, great. We’re going to give you better ideas later on. But the idea is planning ahead of time, coming up with something, and then being willing to change at the moment because even if that plan was great at 8 am in the morning, by 6 pm in the evening, it may not work anymore, and you have to shift.

Céline Remy 18:23
Number three, it does not have to be elaborate. And this is important because who has the time, energy, and sometimes maybe even money to have like over top date nights every single week. I mean, if you are that person great and do it, but most people don’t. And so I think people try to make it too hard. Like, we don’t. We’re very seldomly go out. I was like, do we ever even go out?

Kevin Anthony 18:53
We’ve never really gone out much for date night because our date night usually involves being naked. At some point, the last two years, we’ve hardly gotten out at all. I wonder why that is?

Céline Remy 19:06
Yes. Do the math when 2022.

Kevin Anthony 19:10
Key number four, but I don’t want to pass over that completely, though. I just want to make one more point with that. Which is, you know, when you tell guys to plan it, they roll their eyes, like oh my god, this is so much work. It’s the first thing they do they all say the same. This is so much work. Why do I have to do this? Well, do you want to triple your chances?

Kevin Anthony 19:33
Okay, back to that triple satisfying sex life. I mean, it’s probably even more than triple honestly. But the idea is, again, you have an outcome that you want to achieve. You got to take the steps to get there. You can’t just say, well, this is what I want to manifest it I’m leaving it up to the universe and it’ll all just happen. No, you kind of take steps.

Céline Remy 19:55
Let’s go with the flow.

Kevin Anthony 19:56
You know, it’s the one is the saying that they say all the time? Leave it up to God and tie up your camel or something like that. Yeah, I get you to get the idea. It’s like, yes, you can set the intention for what you want. But you still have to take steps to make it

Céline Remy 20:12
happen. Tie up the camel. Well, and also, by the way, planning could really just be like, I’m going to lit up free candles and play this music. That’s planning in my book, you know, so it doesn’t have to be like crazy stuff. It could be researching different games and things. We’ll talk about this in a little bit. But okay, so, okay, I’m getting too excited. Number four. communication. Communication is lubrication.

Kevin Anthony 20:41
That’s right. So that often. So you know, the key here is, right, these are supposed to be keys to a successful date night, the only way that you can have a successful date night is if you communicate, you both have to communicate with each other. So let’s say you’re the guy, you’ve planned out the entire day, you’ve got it on the calendar date night comes up, and you’re not in the mood for something you plan.

Kevin Anthony 21:03
She’s not in the mood for something you planned, and nobody says anything. How do you think these date nights gonna go? Right? You have to communicate. So if she shows up, and she’s not feeling whatever, you know, plan or idea that you had she needs to be, you know, I really hard day today. And I’m really feeling depleted.

Kevin Anthony 21:22
And I thought that was a great idea when you originally mentioned it this morning. But I just can’t do it today. Is that possible that we could shift? Can we do something else?

Céline Remy 21:31
Or we’ve had so many times where one of us is more tired? And say like, Hey, I really need to receive first like, you know, or I’m stuck in my head, I’m still stressed out from work or have tension in this body part. Do you have the energy to help me with that? And oftentimes one of us feels just a little better. Instead, I love Biggie, I’ll rub your shoulders or massage your feet or, or stroke you back whatever you need, like in, that’s how we help each other.

Céline Remy 22:01
But again, it’s for that communication piece. And communication is not, that’s me just be really clear, is not about going over all the things that are not working in your relationships, not complaining, not complaining, not criticizing, no, and it’s not controlling, or competing for the four C’s to avoid. But communication is simply about sharing your desires and your wants or sharing the things that you love about each other.

Céline Remy 22:33
And focusing on the positive totally changes the mood of a date night. So that’s not when you go over the financial issues or the schedule with the kids, or why your relationship is not working the way you want.

Kevin Anthony 22:50
You just hit on a big one. This is what couples who have kids do. They finally get time alone. And they sit down and they talk about the kids. It’s going

Céline Remy 22:59
to be hard at first but honestly, don’t have fun. Do it don’t have any phones. And don’t talk about two kids like make a conscious effort to have a two hours break from the kids. It doesn’t mean you don’t love them. It doesn’t mean you’re not a good parent. It means that at this moment, you are focusing on Bing

Kevin Anthony 23:18
lovers. Yes, you’re prioritizing that. Okay,

Céline Remy 23:22
speaking of wit, moving to numbers five, five, be

Kevin Anthony 23:26
sure to set aside some time for sexy time arrows, arrows so you don’t have to do this on every single date night. In fact, one of the things that we say all the time is that date night, that doesn’t have to be an expectation of sex. Because when you put that expectation of sex out there, it puts pressure now, for most guys, this isn’t a problem like for most guys, it’s like, yeah, let’s, let’s put it on the calendar sex. It’s right there on the counter sex.

Kevin Anthony 23:58
But for women having that expectation, like oh, man, he’s expecting me that I have to do this. What if I’m not feeling good? What if I’m bloated? What if my, I don’t know, I didn’t shave. Like there’s a million things in there that could potentially get in the way. And so one of the easiest ways to make women feel comfortable and safe about date night and the time spent together is to take that expectation off the table.

Kevin Anthony 24:20
However, having said that, to really connect deeply on your date night, just doesn’t mean you can’t connect deeply by talking or caressing or doing other things. But the sexual connection is an important part of any healthy relationship. It just is. You want science there is a ton of science on this to go look it up yourself. We have. There are all kinds of studies showing that people who connect sexually and they don’t it doesn’t even have to be a certain way but they do better.

Kevin Anthony 24:54
It’s an important part of a healthy relationship. So you should have some sort I have time during your date night set aside for that. So for instance, let’s say your date night is, I’m going to take you out to a great restaurant, right? Well, okay, maybe that’s half of the date night, the other half should be, then we come home and we connect, we talk, we get naked, we massage each other, whatever it is, you should have some time set aside for sexy time, we’ll give you a list of examples of things you can do with sexy time.

Kevin Anthony 25:25
But also know that sometimes one person or the other is just not going to be up for sexy time. And that’s okay. It’s part of the date night it’s on there, it’s scheduled. But be ready to call an audible pivot and do something else if necessary. Now, like Celine, you mentioned earlier, if every date night, there seems to be a new excuse for why sexy time can happen.

Kevin Anthony 25:56
That means that there’s a deeper issue, because the chances that somebody is going to have a stomach ache, or a headache or, or a period or whatever, every week, no, not not not really good. So that means there’s a deeper underlying issue that needs to be addressed, you need to find out what that is, you do not need to dive into that on date night. But after date night, you need to set aside time to figure out what’s going on that, well, then

Céline Remy 26:22
that’s a good time to invite you to check out our program. If that’s you, and you’re struggling and you feel like you’re in a rut, you don’t have the sex that you used to and somebody is always coming up with excuses on date nights and not doing the things that you know you should be doing for having a healthy relationship.

Céline Remy 26:40
Then given an I would love to invite you to work with us, we basically ask that you give us 90 days. And we will help you bring the passion back between the sheets, feel more synched up, have more passion, and become the sexual power couples that you are. So to learn more about our program, go to Celine remy.com, forward slash passion. I can do that. For me.com forward slash passion and join our highly sexed power couple platinum program.

Kevin Anthony 27:15
So as you know, if you listen to this show, Celine works with couples and men and women and I also work with men. And the two of us together work with couples and it is a fantastic program because you’re going to get the insight from both of us, you’re going to get how we do things you’re going to get.

Kevin Anthony 27:37
I mean, it’s so hard to really quantify how valuable it is to have a man and woman who are themselves in an intimate relationship coaching you on how to have the best intimate relationship you can have. There just aren’t very many people out there that actually do that. So it’s a fantastic program. And, you know, honestly, I think anybody who’s struggling in their relationship should be going through that program.

Céline Remy 28:08
Alright, let’s go back to the keys we have to framework is actually key number six is about commitment and connection. What we mean by commitment and connection, really relationship is like a plant, it can’t just be forgotten, it needs to have watering, some little fertilizer, some loving attention so that he can thrive.

Céline Remy 28:30
And that’s what the commitment part is, it’s about showing up for each other when you decided to commit to each other you made vows, you exchanged vows, and that was all about like, Hey, I’m gonna do my best to show up and give you the best of me. And date night is a rededication to these vows to these intentions that you’ve set out for your relationship.

Céline Remy 28:55
And in terms of connection, that commitment leads to a connection because again, it’s prioritizing the connection over anything else in the world and in your life. Because it’s so easy to get sidetracked in the stressors of life in problems and all of these things that pull us apart. But focusing on what brings us closer, what makes us come together and connect. That’s really what matters.

Kevin Anthony 29:25
Yeah. And it’s you know, it’s about focusing on your relationship and not the outside world. But it’s also focusing on making sure that during the date night, what’s happening is you’re focusing on the commitment in the connection. In other words, you’re not focusing on how long did we have sex?

Kevin Anthony 29:42
What kind of sex did we have? What do you know? The way you figure out was it a successful date night is did you commit to it and were you able to successfully connect with each other during that date night. So that’s why we say focus on that and not so much the other little details

Céline Remy 30:01
Key number seven. It’s all about distressing. And you know what’s amazing is that oftentimes we feel too stressed to have sex or to show up for date night. But really what we need is good old orgasms of good shagging to let go of the stress. Yeah, baby.

Kevin Anthony 30:21
And do I make you horny?

Céline Remy 30:26
As a matter of fact, is you, I think we should wrap up this show pretty quickly. But we have not yet given them all of our little ideas. Okay, key number eight. So we finished with that, and then we get to our idea is all about fun and novelty. And you know, people are making things too complicated. Like novelty is not just about like, hey, let’s have a free summer for summer, five summers or do whatever that is, you know, I mean, that’s a form of novelty.

Céline Remy 30:53
But that’s not what we talking about. Or like this sex story, that sex story, all of this. All of these things are outside elements that you depend on to feel good about your relationship. And if that’s what it is, then you are going to run out of these items at some point in your life. And therefore you need to be able to bring that novelty that fun energy from the inside out. Not from the outside in.

Céline Remy 31:18
And fun is about are you somebody who’s fun. Are you still laughing together? Are you tickling each other? Are you like joking together? Like all of these things, novelty could just be like, I’ve never liked your anus. That’s really novel. Let’s try that, you know, novelty? Could be wow. Oh, let’s do it on the other side of the bed. I mean, it’s really not that. Yeah, crazy, or.

Kevin Anthony 31:46
And so the point is, you know, I say this quote from time to time on the show, but you know, I like to quote Larry Flynt, because it’s just a, it’s a fantastic quote, which is: just relax, it’s just sex. And so the idea is, you should have fun on date night, don’t put a lot of pressure on yourself, relax, it’s just date night, right? Like, have fun with it, don’t put a lot of pressure on yourself or on your partner either.

Céline Remy 32:12
Alright, so we are now getting into some of the sexy time ideas and some fun ideas. Just to help you feel inspired. We hope that by now you are convinced that date night is essential. If you are listening to this show, as it is being released, it’s still the early months of the new year. So you still have probably another 47 weeks to commit to date night. So do it, do it, get your calendar, sync it and just do that. But here are some really cool ideas.

Kevin Anthony 32:47
Yeah, so, you know, we just kind of wrote down a list of some of the things that we liked. Yeah, basically, it’s a list of stuff we do. And it’s it was to this one is, you know, sexy time idea. So like things that you can do that are kind of fun and sexy. And the second one is a list of just fun ideas, ways to make it more fun. So

Céline Remy 33:09
number one, create a dedicated space, it can be in your bedroom. We have somebody came to our house and like is this a Tantra bed?

Kevin Anthony 33:19
Yes, it is. Why does it matter if it is well, we’ve got multiple spaces around the house that we will use for this purpose. But, there are spaces that are specifically designed for us to be comfortable, to be warm, we can be naked, can make all the noise we want. We’ve got access to you know, lighting and sound and things that you know, fireplace, you know, this stuff to make it a really comfy cozy, you know, sexy place to be,

Céline Remy 33:48
you know, we have this really nice time mattress in front of the fireplace and it’s in our bedroom. Because then it just swings around. We’re not just in bed, you know, but it’s really lovely.

Kevin Anthony 33:58
But make do with whatever space you have, if you don’t have a lot of space, then turn your bedroom into the space and

Céline Remy 34:05
or it could be something special, like a particular thing you put over your bed that maybe it’s a Venus bad two for your ejaculation. You know, like different things like that but like something that makes you feel sexy or when you see this out when you see this read below it means sexy times coming, you know, like it’s, it’s kind of think about the Pavlov Pavlov’s dog experiment, right? Yeah,

Kevin Anthony 34:33
boy hats on the door.

Céline Remy 34:34
Yeah, whatever that is, right. Okay, move on to number two.

Kevin Anthony 34:40
If it’s cold, make it warm. Like you’re not gonna have sexy time. If she’s cold. You’re just not it’s not gonna happen. Make it warm in whatever way you can. We have a mutual friend that we’ve known for years. One of the first things he taught me many, many years ago, is if you want a woman to take your clothes off You better make it warm. Well, and we

Céline Remy 35:02
all know what happens to a dick when it’s freezing cold. Well, yeah,

Kevin Anthony 35:05
that’s another thing if you want to look your best, man, your biggest and best, then yeah, don’t be too cold.

Céline Remy 35:13
Number three, lower the lighting. You know, I mean, these are kind of super easy. I mean, come on, you should know these things, right? I feel like we don’t need to spend too much time on that. But

Kevin Anthony 35:24
it’s creating an atmosphere that makes it sensual, seductive.

Céline Remy 35:30
So then we add number four with the music, I find the music to be so good because it helps to get out of your head to create the mood and whatever you like an in a pounding mood today and you want to have something with a beat or you want something relaxing, or something that’s like uplifting, like what is it that you want to create? And you can really bring that mood to the music that you play.

Kevin Anthony 35:56
Number five, wear something sexy. You can have so much fun with this. We did underwear of the month, year, like two years ago, I think yeah, maybe even free at this point. Yeah, it’s a couple of years back when every month Celine would buy some new sexy lingerie and debut it at some random point in time.

Kevin Anthony 36:24
And then, of course, we would use those things on our date nights throughout the month and it was so much fun. She had a ton of fun surprising me she didn’t have to spend a ton of money on it. He’s you get creative and find interesting things on the internet these days. You know, and it was just super fun.

Céline Remy 36:43
Absolutely. Yeah. I’m still smiling remembering some were better than others to you know, like, but it was fun. You know, you can get some things with holes, some things with pom-poms, some things with interesting shapes. And yeah, absolutely

Kevin Anthony 36:56
fun things with sex toys built-in.

Céline Remy 37:00
Alright, number six gets naked. Remember, that is one of the walls I mean, you’ve got to touch each other, again, doesn’t have to lead to penetration won’t get naked.

Kevin Anthony 37:09
We’ve talked about our to date night rules all the time, we have to do something together where we’re focused on each other. And at some point during the date night, we should be naked. I know it sounds ridiculous. But a lot of people think what we need to get turned on first, we need to agree that there’s going to be sex first. And then we get Nick

Céline Remy 37:26
and it has to be spontaneous. Because otherwise, it’s not going to be fun. We need

Kevin Anthony 37:31
to agree on it first, and then it has to be spontaneous. Yeah, these are the kinds of silly things that people tell us. And so the idea is just to get naked, just get naked, do it, just do it, because it most likely will lead to sexy

Céline Remy 37:42
time and get the massage oil. That’s our tip number seven,

Kevin Anthony 37:46
get out the massage oil.

Céline Remy 37:49
Because you know, everything’s better when it’s lubricated. And you can do so many things with a massage, you don’t have to just use your hands to massage Java, you could use your genitals, you could use your feet, you could use your whole body and slide up and down was so much fun with massage oil. IDEA and number eight is to roleplay we’ve done an entire show on roleplay just a few weeks back. So you can go back to that one to listen to more of the different ideas.

Céline Remy 38:17
One of my favorites is a number nine, where we start to play with different things like 10 minutes of anything where you’ve set up a timer, and the person gets to ask for 10 minutes of anything that they want to receive. And the other person gets to give them that and then you reverse.

Céline Remy 38:36
And that forces you to get in touch with what is it that you really want or need. And then it also allows you to relax that you’re giving your partner exactly what they want and you making them happy. And for a lot of men, that’s a very satisfying place to be in knowing that they’re doing the right thing for the woman.

Kevin Anthony 38:55
Yeah, that’s such a fun game. It really is that you know, that’s one that will often pull out when we’re really tired. And both of us are like man, what are we? What are we gonna do here, you know, say, how about 10 minutes of anything, it really is a great little one that you can pull out and it really, it helps spark the date night into action. Okay,

Céline Remy 39:18
well just do these quickly, like using sex toys. Always fun. And by the way, sex toys don’t just have to be for her, they can be for him and for them as a couple that you can use together. So, you know, could also be a date night activity to go on a rhotic website of some kind and purchase something for the next time that you meet. You know, like something like that can be really fun. Take a shower together, read an erotica novel. I mean, so many of these like little things that can be fun. I

Kevin Anthony 39:53
want to just slightly emphasize take a shower together, because it’s actually a really fun thing that you can do together and where you actually, like wash each other, you’re not just standing in the shower together, you know, it’s like, you’re some, I so few, it’s a really fun way. And it’s a great way to start a sexy time date night because then you’re all fresh out of the shower. Now you’re turned on because you’ve been touching each other. Like, it’s a really great way to get things moving.

Céline Remy 40:20
Some of the ideas are, most of our ideas, we always stay home because we have like two or three hours. And I feel like if we have to go out, we kind of lose most of the time that we have allocated for our date night.

Kevin Anthony 40:35
So I would rather have three hours just for the sex, see there you go

Céline Remy 40:39
each other than go to dinner. But you can cook dinner together, which is really fun to spend time chopping veggies or being together in the kitchen.

Kevin Anthony 40:49
Yeah, so now we’re into our list of a fun ideas. Okay, so we’ve left sexy ideas, although the kitchen could turn into something sexy. But we’re into the fun ideas like what are the things that you can do together that, that bring you into that connection state that we’ve been talking about cooking dinner together is a really fun one. Because you can do it slow Lee, you can share the different things, you can feed each

Céline Remy 41:13
other ingredients, ingredients, or maybe the rule is that you can’t feed yourself your dinner and you have to feed each other.

Kevin Anthony 41:21
Do you know how many vegetables look like genitalia, a lot of them do, you can have a lot of fun with

Céline Remy 41:28
you can also play a sexy game. And there are a lot of options. So what a couple of things that we recommend. Number one, we really like Michael Webb’s staff and we are affiliated with his products. And so we’re going to put the links in the descriptions for two of his products.

Céline Remy 41:47
Number one is called the sex stories around the house. So it’s like using all stuff that you already have at home that can be turned into sex stories. And this is really fun. And the second one he has is 300 Creative dates, ideas. And so these are great places to start. Because sometimes you are in a rut, sometimes you don’t know what to think. And this can help you get started and be like, Oh, I kind of like this one.

Céline Remy 42:10
But we could modify it a little bit, or that’s a great idea, we’ll use it as is. And we like his stuff. So if you use our link, we’ll make a little commission, and you’ll support the show. And we’ll be grateful. So make sure to check out these and it’s super affordable that like less than $50. So it’s Yeah, less than, than a dinner for a year worth of ideas.

Kevin Anthony 42:31
That’s right. And the links will of course be in the description. And also, if you just go to sling mommy.com and go to our shop, all of our products, our affiliate things are there. It’s a great way to help support the work that we do.

Céline Remy 42:46
And you can also just enter the keywords like intimacy cards, or sexy games, there are so many and you know, we haven’t tried them all and you got to find what works for you. Some are more BDSM oriented, some are more romantic, some are more sexual, like find different things, some will work better than others. Now, that’s one way or the other way is to make up your own game, which is my favorite.

Kevin Anthony 43:14
This is one that we do all the time, we totally make up our own little games that we play. What was the one we did where it was something physical, but we there was a we

Céline Remy 43:26
couldn’t speak? Oh, it was one word and then you had to do it.

Kevin Anthony 43:32
That’s right. So you had to give a one-word command and the other person had to interpret what was meant by that. Exactly that figured out so like if you said, bite? Yeah, well like to be really obvious. If you said suck. You know, you might be thinking in your head. Oh, great.

Kevin Anthony 43:47
Now she’s gonna give me a blowjob, right. But she may interpret that completely differently and end up sucking on your ear low, right? So you never really know exactly what’s going to happen. But yeah, that

Céline Remy 43:57
one was really fun. We totally like made that one up, we have another one. And that’s another fun idea here. If I could have it all my way, where you just really describe everything you would want without censoring yourself, then only then afterward, you can start to negotiate and see how you might want to do it if at all.

Céline Remy 44:19
But at this just the practice of voicing what you wanted without censoring yourself and your partner receiving and saying thank you so much for sharing is huge.

Kevin Anthony 44:27
Yeah, you know, don’t hold back with the if you could have it all your way. Like even if things are completely ridiculous, where you’re like, Well, if I had it all my way I would fly you in my private helicopter to my yacht. And we will you know like you can because then

Céline Remy 44:39
it becomes also role-playing because you may not yet have the financial means or things to be able to do that. But just the idea that you saying that you would want to do that is a massive turnoff for women.

Kevin Anthony 44:50
Yeah. And you might find ways that you can simulate some of that as well. So if I can have it on my way is always fun, and we haven’t done that one in a while on a date night.

Céline Remy 44:59
We should do that. That’s true. Well, date nights coming for us. Yes, it is. Number five-share a hot tub or a bath, we talked about the shower. But the bath is really nice, what we like is we have a big tub. And it’s awesome because you can massage each other’s feet. And you can share, but talk about your relationships, things that you love and appreciate about each other.

Céline Remy 45:20
Or you can just sit in between each with one person in between the other person’s leg and just kind of like have that closeness and be in the warmth of the bath. It’s really lovely.

Kevin Anthony 45:29
Yeah, and just, you know, if you hadn’t thought about this, to do that, you have to get naked. So you know, it’s, it’s setting you in the right direction that you want to go.

Céline Remy 45:41
We have a couple more here that we like to do. We like to play music and sang together. It’s about creativity. So whether you are a musician, and that’s something that you would want to do, or whether you are an artist, you could make a project, an art project, whatever that is, it’s about using that creative energy.

Céline Remy 46:02
which is the same as your sexual energy and generating that together. And then you know, you’ll just have that to use on each other as well.

Kevin Anthony 46:11
Yeah, like maybe you could do a project where you sculpt each other’s genitals, that’s fun with clay or something, you know, that is fun.

Céline Remy 46:20
And then, and last but not least, is to dress up or down for each other. And, you know, dressing up is a lot of people, especially with the years where there were lockdowns and quarantines, and, you know, we realized that we didn’t go out that much. And they are some, like a nice outfit that you basically never wear. But you really have to wait until you go out for that, or could you dress up for your partner?

Kevin Anthony 46:44
Yeah, you know, there’s that great cartoon, we’ve talked about it a few times in the past, right? Where it’s like, oh, we’re gonna go out and see total for you know, friends

Céline Remy 46:55
sex with and it’s like, super revealing sexy outfit.

Kevin Anthony 46:59
And then this is how I dress for the person I love at home and you’re like in your sweatpants? Like, wait, what? Oh, you want to look your best for the person that you love. Right? So there’s nothing wrong with dressing up and not actually leaving the house. That’s perfectly acceptable. And then you will eventually undress?

Céline Remy 47:18
See, just like this, these are like seven different ideas and the easy ways there are ways that do not cost money that does not require you to drive and go other places. So a lot of excuses can get out. And by the way, if you have children, and you know, it might be easier to get away because it makes it challenging to be in the same home.

Céline Remy 47:42
So maybe that once a month to have a hotel room or getaway. We know people who have their getaway trailer you know where that’s like when mom or dad

Kevin Anthony 47:52
room air b&b, you know,

Céline Remy 47:55
get work and make it matter.

Kevin Anthony 47:58
Yeah, someplace where you’ve got privacy and you can make all the noise you want. And be warm. That’s very important. All right, everybody. Wow, that was kind of that was a somewhat long episode. But we hope that you got a lot of value at it. And I challenge all of you now that you’ve listened to this, to go out and create amazing date nights.

Kevin Anthony 48:20
Every single week. I guarantee you will see improvements in your relationship. All right, everybody. That’s all the time we have for this episode. And we will see you next week. We hope you like this episode of the Love Lab podcast. If you enjoy this show, subscribe. Leave us a review and share it with your friends.

Céline Remy 48:43
And for more free exclusive content. Join us in the passion vault at kevinanthonycoaching.com/passion.

Kevin Anthony 48:57
Thanks for listening. And remember,

Céline Remy 48:59
you’re amazing