Sex Drive, Floppity Labia, Masturbation, Butt Plugs & More

Céline Remy 0:11
Welcome to the love lab podcast, a safe place to get real about sex. Whether you’re a man or woman, single couple, this is the show for you. Because well, sex matters. We are your hosts, Kevin Anthony and Céline Remy.

Kevin Anthony 0:28
Welcome back to the love lab podcast. This is Episode 87. And it’s titled sex drive floppity labium, masturbation, butt plugs and more. So this is actually a listener questions episode. And we’ve got some really good questions from our listeners for this one. You know, one of the things that we really love to do is like, yeah, we always have ideas and there are things that we want to share that are sort of part of our agenda of like what we want to bring out to the world.

Kevin Anthony 0:56
But we really love it when people actually reach out to us and ask us questions. Because this is like where the rubber hits the road, this isn’t theoretical or ideas. It’s like, here are somebody’s real-life struggles. And they’re seeking help. And so I’m actually excited to get into some of these questions because I think a bunch of them are really common things that people experience on a regular basis.

Céline Remy 1:18
Absolutely. So we want to thank you, all of you who are tuning in every week and listening to the love lab podcast and sending us emails that you love this show or having questions because we exist because of you and we love you. So thank you. Before we dive into our first questions, and I think we’ve got like six of them, so it’s going to be pretty fun.

Kevin Anthony 1:43
We’ll do our best.

Céline Remy 1:44
If not, we’ll do a part two. We’ll save them for another time. Anyway, they will get answered at some point, if not today soon enough. But let’s give a shout out to our sponsor power and mastery. So if you want to join the secret club of men who are great in bed, then Check out power in mastery, you can find it at powerandmastery.com. It is the most complete sexual mastery training for men. So go to power and mastery.com and find out how you can be a sexual Rockstar.

Kevin Anthony 2:18
Yeah, the ultimate sexual Rockstar. Alright, we got a lot to cover. So let’s dive into our very first question. And I don’t know who this one comes from, but

Céline Remy 2:32
This was Joe and some have names, some don’t. And we understand that most people want to keep things anonymous. So whatever that is, but this is a male listener has he refers to himself as male 44 as his age?

Kevin Anthony 2:47
Yeah, so I’m gonna read it through just quickly once and then we’re gonna kind of dissect it because of kind of a long question. There’s a lot of pieces here, but they’re all tied together. Mm-hmm. All right. So from Joe, your so-called remedy sounds pretty promising. Well, Do you have kids? We’ve got a five-year-old single kid. How do you think you can help us? I Mel 44 would like to have seven two times, seven to 10 times sex a week to my wife 47 is wanting me to be happy with one time a week and none preferably in her 10 day menstruation period.

Kevin Anthony 3:25
We’re pretty desperate as divorce has been brought to the table over this issue. We used to have sex five to seven times a week before our son was born. We have no grandparents and time alone can only be achieved by hiring a babysitter, but that would get pricey and I work. Night Shift two weeks on one week off and my wife has come to the conclusion that having sex at night makes her not being able to sleep even after orgasm. Sex in the morning isn’t her thing as she needs until about nine to 10 am to wake up and function. And she just today said she never thought that she wouldn’t be able to ever want enough sex for her man. Sex was also a substantial reason that I married her.

Kevin Anthony 4:07
Okay. All right, I’m not going to try to like answer that whole thing myself and then have you add to the whole thing, we’re just going to take it piece by piece, and then we’ll each kind of give our own ideas. Alright. So here we go. Starting out with Well, great, your your, your coaching your products. Sounds awesome. But Do you have kids? All right, first of all, no, we don’t have kids. But we have both been in relationships where we did have kids, in other words, are previous partners had children. So we have multiple years of experience with what it’s like to live with raise kids. Yes, having kids definitely changes the equation. There is no doubt about that. This is why we don’t have kids.

Céline Remy 4:55
We looked at the pros and cons and our ages and life in general. And we were like We love each other. We’re getting older, and it’s not worth it for us, there is so much more we want to do. It’s okay to pass on that. I think I really wanted to just put this in there because it’s not an obligation to have kids. And it’s also good to have kids and know what you’re getting into.

Kevin Anthony 5:17
Yeah. And so the reality here is, you know, you heard the entire question, and the very first thing that I would tell this person if they were in a coaching program with us, is that having kids is going to cause you to have to change your expectations. Mm-hmm. Okay, so now that brings us to the second part of it, which is that he wants sex seven to 10 times a week. Now. Alright, let’s think about that for a moment. The first question I would ask Joe is how he defines sex seven to 10 times a week.

Kevin Anthony 5:49
In other words, for some people, and we have friends who tell us they’re like, Oh, my God, the other night was so great. We had sex three times. And so for us, like wait a minute, three times in one Night See, I would call that you had sex once. You may have a Jackie elated three times as a guy during that session, but to me, that’s having sex once. So I would be curious how he defines that. Because if he’s defining it from the point of view of, yeah, we had sex three times tonight in an hour and a half, I’m going to go

Kevin Anthony 6:20
Okay, well, that that changes things a little bit because now I understand that you could literally have sex three occasions a week, and yet that would be your seven to 10 times. But if it’s not, if that’s not the way you’re defining it, and you’re defining the whole session of lovemaking as one time, which is what we do, which is what I think is kind of a better way to, to do it. You realize then that three of your seven days a week, you’d have to have sex twice during that day.

Kevin Anthony 6:51
Now, that’s awesome. And sometimes we have sex twice in a day. But I would really caution Joe and say that that is huge With or without kids, that’s a big expectation. We don’t have sex seven to 10 times a week. We would love to but we don’t have the time.

Céline Remy 7:09
No, we don’t want to have sex seven to 10 times a week I brought sorry, love. Well, we have sex like a quickie is about 30 minutes. And usually, it’s over an hour to an hour and a half. I feel very fulfilled with that. When we have really good sex, I’m good for two to three days where I’m still like riding the wave still feeling like orgasmic and happy and tingling from the experience. I don’t feel a need to like go out it again.

Kevin Anthony 7:35
Okay, so there are two answers to different answers to that part of his question, which is, the first one is you have to be a little realistic. I mean, the reality is, is unless you’re retired and you have nothing else to do, how do you have that much time? I mean, maybe if your sex is five, seven minutes long, sure. That’s easy, but like if you’re having good quality sex, how seriously how do you have that much time

Céline Remy 7:59
everyone to know that Kind of you make that work.

Kevin Anthony 8:02
And then, but the second part is exactly what you just said, which is that if you’re really having good quality sex you feel fulfilled sometimes for days. And that’s really true. I feel the same thing too. Like if I have really great sex, like, it’s not that I don’t want to have sex the other days, but I don’t feel the need to have it because I’m, like, still floating from the day before the two days before?

Céline Remy 8:24
Absolutely. Absolutely. And so when I read that question, that was literally my reaction to this was like, seven to 10 times. And so let me give it straight to you here Joe, like, as a woman, I’m already overwhelmed by the amount. So I can have some empathy with your wife is like, okay, that’s a little too much. Now, I also want to say that what kind of sex Are you giving her? Because, you know, if she’s not really wanting sex, she’s probably not having the kind of sex she wants. And that’s just the reality of things right?

Céline Remy 8:59
And you know, she might be used to having the type like, just like this quick sex or whatever kind of sex you have not knowing that there’s something better. But here’s the thing you guys have been together for at least five years since you have a five-year-old. That means that she’s gotten used to some probably not so good sex. And, and you don’t know what you’re missing out. But when you don’t have good quality after many years of having just good quality, you just like, oh, what’s the point?

Kevin Anthony 9:29
Yeah. And you know, at the end of this question, he says that she said she never thought she wouldn’t be able to ever want enough sex. So you know, when you’re telling us that you used to have sex five to seven times a week, which was kind of the next bar and you’re telling us that she never thought she would get to that point. What that’s really telling me is that the sex was probably okay enough for her before, but she’s probably just depleted. She’s burnt out. She’s tired.

Kevin Anthony 10:01
Like, we know what it’s like to take care of a young kid. And it is all-encompassing and exhausting, especially for the mom. That doesn’t mean that you as a guy aren’t working hard to because you’re out there working all day long. And then you’re coming along for Joe to Yo, and we’re gonna get to that too. But there is a certain reality that kids want a lot more of their mom’s attention and energy, and it’s draining. It’s super draining. So, you know, a piece of advice here would be to find out what you can do to try to ease her experience.

Céline Remy 10:34
Mm-hmm. And for her, that’s really like helping her to get back into that place of feeling feminine and relaxing. It is really easy for us we’re meant to go into our get shit done. Do it all mode somewhat, a little bit more masculine. And it’s very relevant because I was in that mode last week, and Kevin was like…Oh my goodness!

The more you get into like, I get shite done the less sexual you feel as a woman. But what’s weird is you don’t even realize that you getting off balance. And, and so I needed Kevin’s help to be like, Hey Celine, slow down notice how you’ve been reacting lately and I was like oh my gosh you’re right and then giving myself permission to do nothing or giving myself permission to take a bath or whatever that looks like.

Céline Remy 11:22
But for her, it’s things that would help her boost her oxytocin level because we’ve lower oxytocin’s level she’s going to have really hard time to even achieve orgasms to have a libido and so things that could work for her could be like spending time in nature, it’s more me time and like Kevin said, because you guys have a five-year-old she’s probably giving a lot there. And it would be more of time with the kids just for herself not working on the house like cleaning, ironing, doing laundry or anything else.

Céline Remy 11:56
But times for herself of smelling flower going on a walk watching it A romantic movie, reading a book, giving getting a massage getting together with girlfriends like this type of thing. And it doesn’t have to be really long with one of the couples that I worked with, and they had two or three kids, I forgot, but they had more than one. And what they decided on doing was that when he got home, basically he gave her about a half-hour to an hour, depending on the day, where basically he took the kids and he said, mommy has some mommy time right now and she goes upstairs, locks the door. Nobody goes and asks mom any question or asks anything of her and that’s her time to unwind.

Céline Remy 12:38
And that helped her to feel more receptive to becoming again intimate with her husband because she had a little bit of time to like, ah, distress, and so that’s a strategy that we put in place and that has worked with for another couple. Of course, you know, we looked at a lot of different angles which is giving you a quick fix, and that’s not the only thing, but that’s just one idea.

Kevin Anthony 13:02
Yeah. And the reality is, is that, you know, you mentioned in here, Joe, that the only time you get time alone is by hiring a babysitter. And that can get expensive. The reality is you have to find strategies that can offload some of the stress levels for her and yourself to but definitely since she’s the one that is experiencing the lower libido, you got to find ways to offload her stress and that can be hiring babysitters, giving her alone time, you know, taking on a little bit more of the workload of stuff that’s going on. She’s got to be able to relax and de-stress if she’s gonna want sex.

Kevin Anthony 13:35
Hmm, let’s go to the next part on this, which is you talk about the fact that you work night shift two weeks on one week off and she doesn’t want to have sex in the morning, and she doesn’t want to have sex in the evening. Well, obviously with very mismatched schedules like that, and you’re taking the evening in the morning out of the equation doesn’t leave a whole lot left. So here’s my advice to you on that one. What are your priorities in life? Now I know it’s not easy to just say, Okay, I’m gonna up and leave my job or do something else as I get it, it might not even be financially possible.

Kevin Anthony 14:10
But I do want to put the seed out there that you have to decide what’s most important for you in your life. And if your relationship, your sex life, and your family are a high priority, consider the fact that working two weeks in a row of night shift is not supporting your relationship and your family and you might need to make a change. Mm-hmm. I want to add to this question before we move on to our next question. I know we spending quite a bit of time on this one. But

Céline Remy 14:42
when I read that she has 10 days of menstruation and that she can’t seem to function before nine to 10 am in the morning. There’s something off here and I’m not a doctor, but I can tell you that most likely she’s going through perimenopause or menopause and that her hormones are out of balance that would also be why she’s not feeling so excited. And she’s depleted. And so bleeding for 10 days is not normal. It’s too long so, and that can happen too when you’re in perimenopause.

Céline Remy 15:12
So I would say, Look into somebody who can help working naturally, through rebalancing the hormones wherever it’s through a naturopath or acupuncturist or something like more natural to rebalance the body. But 10 days is too long, it shouldn’t be that long. And not being able to function before nine to 10 am tells me that you’re not getting the kind of rest that your body needs in order to be able to wake up refreshed. That means again, your hormones are out of balance there.

Céline Remy 15:40
And so whether it’s changing habits, going to bed earlier, turning off the TV, there’s a lot of things here that could be applied that we have. We don’t have enough time to get into that but like this is one angle that needs to be addressed. And from what you mentioned, it tells me that it is out of balance

Kevin Anthony 15:58
Sounds like her adrenals are really, really shot.

Céline Remy 16:01
It does, it does. And so when that happens, you got to take drastic measures. It’s not just like, Hey, I’m going to pop a pill and stuff this lifestyle change is eating differently different, as different things in life and like slowing down and that’s going to require more than just, let’s have sex.

Kevin Anthony 16:20
So, here’s what I would say to Joe, we gave you a ton of information on how to help solve this situation. And there is so much more that we could give you. I would say that if you’re really serious about fixing this problem that you and your wife should either work with us or somebody else like us. It doesn’t have to get to the level of divorce.

Céline Remy 16:43
Mm-hmm. And any investment you make in your relationship is going to be way less than what a divorce would cause and what would create for your family.

Kevin Anthony 16:52
Just remember that. Remember, we spent way too much time on Joe. Let’s move on. Number two. You want to read it for us,

Céline Remy 16:59
too. So this is from goddess Megan. I am done with criticizing my loose skin floppity labia and in general soon to be 44 vagina, please talk to me about loving and strutting my every part. And what do men think of this, particularly those that are younger and firmer? All right, Kevin, give a goddess Meagan your opinion because she’s really interested, then I’ll get it.

Kevin Anthony 17:23
Yes, I can’t wait. So, I have been very fortunate that I’ve seen quite a few vaginas. And they span the age ranges. When even when I was in my 30s I had some lovers who were in their 40s and not quite 50 but definitely your age ish. And I can tell you that, from my experience, age had nothing to do with how their vagina looked. In other words, you know, as we get older, yeah, we get wrinkles on our face and you know.

Kevin Anthony 17:59
Things change where you get spots and on but I never looked at a woman’s vagina who was in her 40s or 50s and was like, Oh, that looks like an old vagina. Like that. I’ve just I’ve never seen that. I’ve seen vaginas that were well cared for. And maybe some that were not as well cared for, but I did. I’ve never seen signs necessarily of age, in a vagina. And I will also say to that, functionally, the older lovers that I’ve had all worked just fine. And so I know that we all look at our own bodies, and we see all these things that other people don’t see.

Kevin Anthony 18:39
I knew it all the time to you know, I’d say things to you like, Oh, you know, I got this wrinkle here, this thing here and you’re like, what? is most of the time you don’t even notice those things? We’re always harder on ourselves. And, you know, 44 you’re younger than I am. Like, trust me, I do not. Look at 44 Old women think they look old. I don’t really know. I see a lot of 44-year-old women I go, Oh, yeah, I’d like to have sex with her.

Céline Remy 19:12
So Megan, first, I want to congratulate you for saying you’re done. You’re done with criticizing every part, including the in-between your legs apart. And that’s a huge shift because we women are very judgmental, especially of ourselves. We constantly put standards out there of what we should look like, or what the perfect version of ourselves we measure ourselves all the time, and we fall short all the time. And so when we have these impossible standards to look like it’s just it’s we can never be successful. So understanding that and saying you are done and you want to change the dialogue is a huge part.

Céline Remy 19:52
The second part is to really change the dialogue. So I would love to encourage you to spend some time with your vagina with your lady I actually have a meditation, it’s a free gift that they offer to women. It’s a radiance and pleasure meditation that takes you through connecting with your body and most specifically, your lady parts very differently in with a lot of love. So we’ll put the link in the episode show here for you, to do it. So I would really encourage that you do that one.

Céline Remy 20:23
But yes, start putting some love there and don’t look at it from that critical point but like be like, look at what are the things you love? Maybe it’s the way that I personally find my vagina much more Dix terrorists and when I was 20, like because now it’s like I’ve been spending many years feeling her touching her connecting with the muscles and just seeing how she operates. And I’m like, Yeah, I have a much better handle on my vagina than I did when I started having sex and when I was 20. So can you celebrate that about yourself? If not spend time getting to know her.

Céline Remy 20:57
And then yes, our vaginas do change, but as Kevin said, worse guy won’t even realize that we do because we look at ourselves and so whenever you had kids, it could have affected when our hormones start to change wherever we in perimenopause or menopause, it could, the skin could be a little less tight or like things could change a little bit. But it’s minor, it seems bigger from your point of view than it is from anyone else.

Céline Remy 21:25
And really don’t focus on that because it doesn’t change anything about like how you feel things that just aesthetic things. So it’s just about embracing who you are. And then vaginas come in all shapes and sizes and, and so there are labels that are more prominent, there’s no lady as they are one longer, one shorter that could be like floppity, they could be really tight.

Kevin Anthony 21:49
Across all age ranges. So what you might think is a floppy lady because you’re old 20-year-olds with that same floppy lady and that’s just the way they were born.

Céline Remy 21:58
It’s a beautiful drape, that is available for some woman and it’s like, just embrace it. What helped me change I have more prominent Libya. And it took me a while to really love myself because I had boyfriends who made fun of me because they were sticking out. Exactly. And so that took a lot of time. But here’s what I had a lover one day and he started calling them my angel wings. And I have to say that that reframe really changed how I started to connect and love my pussy and Malaysia.

Céline Remy 22:32
So I want to invite you to spend some time with a mirror and love it and see what other parts you can enjoy and how you can reframe and rather than saying my floppity labia. Yes, it could be my beautiful angel wings, or my pedals or whatever inspires you. Whatever brings love because to me floppity labia does not bring love.

Kevin Anthony 22:52
Yeah, so basically there’s nothing wrong with you. You just need to amp up the self-love a little bit. And actually, you know if you haven’t seen a lot of different types of labias across all age ranges. When you call them pedals, you just reminded me of somebody we know who actually made a book called pedals. And it’s all pictures of women’s labia. And they’d span every age range, every size, shape, color.

Kevin Anthony 23:18
And, you know, I’m always surprised that a lot of people and this goes for men too. Like, they don’t realize the huge variation in penises and vaginas, size, shapes, colors, you know, tilts, whatever, you know, like, and so when people see that book, they go, Well, wait a minute, I’m not so weird. Look at all this huge variety out there. So that’s something you might want to look into too if you’re having that issue,

Céline Remy 23:41
and we’ll put the link below its Petals by Nick Karas, if you’re looking for it, and the link will be in the show notes again. Alright, so let’s move on. Before we get to our first question. We have a question for you. Are you longing for more connection deeper intimacy and read Hot passion in your relationship? Well, we know that some of you are right. So if you’re a committed couple who loves each other, but has lost a spark and has fallen into a boring routine, we have a special invite for you.

Céline Remy 24:11
We’ve created relationship synergy, which is a cutting edge next level intimacy program for the modern capital to help you fire up your love life. So give us 90 days, that’s all 90 days and we will help transform your love life forever. And you got a little bit of glimpse of what it could look like when we were talking to Joe earlier. So yeah, go out to Celineremy.com/ synergy and you can find more about our relationship synergy program.

Kevin Anthony 24:40
Yeah. And what we did with Joe is just scratching the surface on

Céline Remy 24:43
that was 90 seconds versus 90 days with us. Okay, fine. 15 minutes.

Kevin Anthony 24:50
Okay, question number three has to do with masturbation. Hmm, I know you did a few podcasts about it but different angle. I’m easily around. By my man but not so much on my own with another person. It’s not like he has to work hard to get me hot. I get around seeing him touching him and just being in the same place. But I’m on the quest to learn more about my body and orgasms and for that, I am exploring on my own. But it’s so hard to get it going. I am rarely horny on my own.

Kevin Anthony 25:22
And when I start to get myself in the mood for the first 10 to 15 minutes, I feel silly. I want to see what else is out there. Bigger orgasms. This is a great question, huh? Absolutely. All right. So who starts on this one?

Céline Remy 25:37
All right. Well, I’ll go first. Because I’m a woman. I’ve got a vagina. So let me tell you how to operate it. Absolutely. Well…

Kevin Anthony 25:48
I’d like to explore that.

Céline Remy 25:51
Again, let’s congratulate you on wanting to explore your own body because that’s a step that many women miss. They always expect that Somebody else to teach them how they operate. And it’s very important to know how your own body works. As a matter of fact, no matter how, like an expert you lover is, you can learn new things like I spent time the other week really exploring my cervix and the inside of my vagina in a really different way. And then I called in Kevin and we made love and we started feeling things differently because I had this new awareness.

Céline Remy 26:28
I was able to feel things differently the way his penis was touching me not could really tell when he was on my cervix or which position worked better. It was fascinating. But all of that was I was able to do that because I spent the time masturbating. Now when I started masturbating, I actually never really found a way to find it really interesting until I was about 23 because I would be bored. I would fall asleep literally.

That’s how excited I was about masturbation. I would fall asleep because I was bored. And so what I had to do was to shift number one, I had to really understand how my body worked find Okay, find Michael ID and then from my cleared find hotspots within. So I had to like get a real anatomy lesson to understand what worked and what didn’t work.

Céline Remy 27:18
And then how I like to be stroked. Number two, I had to let go of expectations about how things were to happen in that’s huge because when you’re somebody else, you can surrender and let go and you let them do things. When you’re on your own. It’s an interesting place to find how can you surrender while at the same time doing the things so you have to be both the masculine and feminine right and you can be caught up too much in one if you like, just surrendering, nothing happens and if you’re just like doing you can surrender and get to bigger, higher orgasms.

Céline Remy 27:50
So it’s finding the fine line between like what you’re doing the feeling of it and the doing of it and like just being in the experience And then it’s about being okay with whatever arises because we carry so much shame around our bodies around our genitals around masturbation, that you even say it where you’re like, I feel silly. And that’s becoming comfortable with the uncomfortable meaning that it’s okay that you might feel silly, that you might feel embarrassed that you might feel bored or whatever else arises, and that you don’t let that stop you from having an experience with yourself that you actually stay with yourself and say, yes, I’m feeling silly.

Céline Remy 28:30
And I’m going to masturbate this silliness out of me, or whatever that is. And it’s the same when you’re making love with a partner. It’s not always spectacular. It’s not always mind-blowing. And sometimes things come up, but it’s about being okay to stay with what is and seeing where it goes from there rather than fighting and should be something different because it never works.

Kevin Anthony 28:52
Yeah, that was a fantastic answer.

Céline Remy 28:55
Thank you.

Kevin Anthony 28:56
I don’t really I mean, there are things I could say but I mean, you just asked It’s so well I don’t really need to say a whole lot I’ll say is congratulations on exploring your body. I think everybody should do that. And it definitely will lead you to bigger better things. So just keep on the journey. And don’t feel silly about it. I mean, I know there are certain you know, religious views or things that say maybe masturbation isn’t good this or that.

Kevin Anthony 29:23
You throw all that out the window. It’s perfectly normal. It is a hundred percent normal. There’s nothing to feel silly about at all. And yeah, just kind of let go or, or as Larry Flynt once said, relax, it’s just sex. In this case, “relax is just masturbation.”

Céline Remy 29:40
All right, tell us about Question number four. Hey, Kevin.

Kevin Anthony 29:43
Okay, number four. Can you talk about butt plugs for men and women and how to use it together? But blogs All right. Yeah, we can talk about that.

Céline Remy 29:54
We thought we should insert that one in there.

Kevin Anthony 29:56
Haha. Completely intended. Okay, so the first thing I would say about butt plugs for men and women is that yes, you can indeed use butt plugs for both men and women. And if you’re a guy, it doesn’t make you gay because somehow you’ve used a butt plug. Yeah, I mean, we just need to come out and say it right? Because I know I know some men are thinking about that.

Céline Remy 30:17
Number two, yes, it can get a little bit messy. And yes, I could be some poop on about blog, little remnants of things. If you haven’t cleaned up fully well, or if you’re just like, whatever it is in your health. The healthier you go, you are the more bowel movement regularly the better it is. You don’t have to freak out about like giving yourself like an enema or things like that.

Céline Remy 30:39
It’s really fine like shower, put a little finger in your ass. With a little soap, clean it up, you know, you’re ready to go and that’s good enough.

Kevin Anthony 30:46
It comes with the territory.

Céline Remy 30:47
It does. So just get over it. Don’t get too crazy about that.

Kevin Anthony 30:51
Yeah. And so how can you use it? Well, it depends. I would say the most basic way is to simply Have it in there while you’re making love. And one, one of the things that that can do is simply increase the sensation. Mm-hmm.

Céline Remy 31:07
So what I was thinking was there I was seeing two different scenarios. Number one is okay, maybe explore for yourself on your own before you play with a partner with a bud plug. Remember that nurses don’t self lubricate. So lube is absolutely essential with bad plugs. Okay, so I’ve used a silicone noob, or coconut oil or castor oil or element or whatever you like. We’re not going to get into loops in this episode, but make sure you have lube and use it on yourself first because it’s a weird sensation.

Céline Remy 31:42
It’s different to be penetrated annually to insert the thing and try to do both the insertion and the removal because you’re going to learn a lot. Like for example, don’t just pull on the butt blog like this when you pull it out. This really hurts especially if you’re like clamping on it because it’s scary. And then it can really hurt. So once you understand on your own how it works and maybe that you don’t just put it in, you massage it around the anus, you spread the butt cheeks you play with it you inserted a little bit and then wait for the anus to open up and relax and then insert it more this is a slow process. This is not just a boom it’s in.

Céline Remy 32:20
Like sometimes you see in movies or it’s like they just stick the finger up the ass. It’s like no takes to take your time to do this, whether it’s a finger or it’s a butt plug right and, and once you’re more accustomed to it on your own, there are a few ways you can incorporate it in your sex life. So one way that we’ve done it is I played with it on my own and then I would walk around the house and be like, guess what I have and then we made love while I had put it in myself, and so that was a good way to incorporate it.

Céline Remy 32:49
We did it where we would say okay, today we’re going to do a prostate massage or if it was me just like an animal massage and we’ll play with the liver. Don, and then like Kevin said earlier, then we put it in, we do a whole thing around that put it on and make love. Another option is it literally can become a foreplay thing. Right. And, and, and so I think like it’s doing both. I don’t know. I mean, you could potentially play both with you on but blog. And so you each put it in each other, or you each do it on your own next to one another. I mean, there are so many combinations, it’s so exciting, right?

Kevin Anthony 33:28
You know, and I would add to that, that not all plugs are created equal. The shape of it actually is kind of important because some shapes just don’t stay in other stories. So there are many different sizes, and starting out with something really small until you get used to it. Otherwise, it can be kind of painful. Of course Absolutely. Use lube and clean it very, very well. And if you share it with your partner, if you share the same one, make sure after you’re done like If it’s the kind you can boil or whatever, but like clean it really well.

Céline Remy 34:04
Mm-hmm, you brought a good point with the different shapes because you want to have a stem. Right it’s called a stem right?

Kevin Anthony 34:11
Something that you can use to pull it out with.

Céline Remy 34:14
Yeah, it needs to be long enough because I started with smaller but blogs because I’m not really into big things in my eyes Some people love it but if you start or start smaller but what we found was really that stem that sticks out from the butt blog needs to be longer because we had a shorter one we had two is really cute similar but blog can they can disappear Well, it didn’t disappear remember as soon as I would have an orgasm I literally like shot it out of my anus.

Kevin Anthony 34:40
Well, that’s because it’s not the right shape. And it’s the part that’s near the stem if it’s too round Yeah, there’s nothing to grip on to and yeah, I can just go fly

Céline Remy 34:50
but you know if you go to a sex store, they also super knowledgeable and tell them what you’re looking for and that you like a novice and then give you really good advice. afraid to ask them questions because like seriously they work in a sex store

Kevin Anthony 35:03
like they’re loving this stuff when people come up and ask these questions they’ll come up well see I use this one and let me tell you why and like this is my ex like they’ll go all out for you on that one.

Céline Remy 35:14
All right, what do you think? Are we good for today? Did we get we didn’t get all our questions, but we’ve got more and we might do another episode at another time? Wow,

Kevin Anthony 35:25
yeah, we kind of are at the time limit. Darn we have more questions to cover.

Céline Remy 35:29
Well, well, you know, we love your questions keep them coming. Haha, pun intended. And we’ve got a few more hours in stock so we usually make episodes when we get enough questions to make a full episode. So if that episode sparked more questions for you, feel free to email us the email is into the link at the episode link.

Céline Remy 35:48
We love those questions, we put them together. We hope that today was really helpful and that it got you to start to think about new things, new ways of approaching your sexuality. embracing your body playing with toys. I had fun with this.

Kevin Anthony 36:07
Me too. Just know that you know, one of the things you learn from all of these questions is that whatever questions you have or whatever things you think about your own body or experiences you’ve had, you’re not alone. That’s probably one of the biggest things that you can take away is that there are tons of other people who have very similar things. And it’s totally normal.

Céline Remy 36:26
And there are no such things as silly questions, get them out there, embrace it, so you can move past that.

Kevin Anthony 36:31
That’s right. All right, everybody. That’s all the time we have for this episode, and we will see you next week. We hope you like this episode of the love lab podcast. If you enjoyed this show, leave a comment and share it with your friends.

Céline Remy 36:49
And if you want more, we have an entire digital library with the best sex tips and Relationship Advice at Celine Remy .com. That’s kevinanthonycoaching.com So join us in the sex vault to continue this adventure.

Kevin Anthony 37:06
Thanks for listening.

Céline Remy 37:07
and remember, you’re amazing…