17 Mistakes that Men Make In Bed And How To Fix Them

Kevin Anthony 0:11
Welcome to the love lab podcast a safe place to get real about sex. Whether you’re a man or woman, single or couple, this is the show for you.

Céline Remy 0:20
We are your hosts, Kevin, Anthony, and Céline Remy. And we are here to guide you to go from good to amazing in the bedroom and beyond.

Kevin Anthony 0:27
Alright, welcome back to the love lab podcast. This is Episode 116. And it’s titled 17 mistakes that men are making in bed and how to fix them. 17 who all right, hopefully, we can get through this somewhat quickly without making it an hour-long show some of these mistakes even have sort of sub mistakes.

Kevin Anthony 0:52
But here’s the thing. You know, I know we’ve talked about this before, this isn’t about pointing out the bad things, necessarily, this is actually really about helping men improve so that they can be better in the bedroom. And so as we go through and talk about the mistake, we’re also going to go through and talk about how can you do it better?

Céline Remy 1:14
Absolutely. I want to say that I made a whole video on why I love men. And this is really a show for you today to take away some of the things that maybe some women are a little bit too afraid to tell you about. And we’re not here to bash you or put you down, as a matter of fact, I really want to say this, you know, I love men, men are different, they bring different things to perspective, men really I know you care about our happiness as women, and this is why you’re tuning into this particular show.

Céline Remy 1:46
And you know, I have to say that men do make me feel more feminine, especially when they are masculine. And I mean, I do love the fact that men are strong, they make me feel safe and grounded. I’m in so many things. And because we are different, it’s important sometimes to explain, it’s better so that we can understand each other.

Céline Remy 2:10
So before we dive into those mistakes, let’s give a big shout-out to our sponsor’s power and mastery. So if you want to join the secret club of men who are great in bed, then check it out. Power and mastery at power and mastery.com it is the most complete sexual mastery training for men. So whether you want to have harder, stronger erections last longer or expand your sexual skills, there is something for you at power and mastery.

Kevin Anthony 2:40
Alright, so I’m glad that you put all that stuff in there about like, you know, the fact that you love men, and some of the reasons why because the last time we did an episode similar to this, some people were like, oh, why you’re always saying men are so bad, you know. And it’s like, that’s not the point. The point is not to say that men are bad. Yep, some men are bad, some men are good in bed, I don’t mean necessarily bad people or anything like that.

Kevin Anthony 3:05
But the idea is, every time we do this is so that we can help men be better in bed. And if we can help men be better in bed, then women can be more satisfied, the more satisfied women are, the happier they are with their sex life, the more they’re actually going to want to have sex. So you see how this works, right? This circle, right? The more they want to have sex, the happier you are, the better you are in bed, the more they want sex, blah, blah, blah. So basically, that’s the whole point here.

Céline Remy 3:33
Absolutely. So let’s dive into one of our first mistakes that we do see men make which is coming from a place of like, they think they know it all. And I know it’s funny when you’re driving a car, and you’re like, I don’t need to ask for directions, or I don’t need to get the map because I will trust my man instincts to get there. But in the bedroom, it’s not that funny.

Céline Remy 4:01
Sometimes you do need the map. And sometimes you do need directions to get to that destination. Even though I know we always say that sex is not about the destination. It’s about the journey. But trust me, the journey is going to be so much better if you know what to look for along the way.

Kevin Anthony 4:19
Yeah, so I mean, this goes without saying about anything in life, right? Don’t think that you know it all. Because nobody knows it all. Even people who are absolute experts in what they do know that they don’t know it, all right, because otherwise they just quit. They’d be like, I know everything there is to know is boring now, right? So just keep an open mind and understand that there’s always something new that you could learn.

Céline Remy 4:43
And I love that you bringing this up because I think that’s one of the biggest mistake capital do and they’re like, Well, we’ve been together for X amount of years. I know everything about him more about her and like what else could still like impress me or whatever.

Céline Remy 4:56
And I call bullshit on that. You can find something new about your partner anytime you willing to look at your partner with new eyes. And we were driving in the car the other day, and you asked me a question something about, you know, teaching. Uh-huh.

Kevin Anthony 5:12
Then I was like, Oh, well, that’s interesting. I gave you all this list of all these different jobs I’ve had that had a teaching capacity, your element to them. And you’re like, wow, some of that stuff I didn’t even know even after all these years, there are still things that are new.

Céline Remy 5:25
Yeah. And the other thing too is that what I love about being willing to look at your partner with new eyes is also that you’re not just putting them into that box where it’s like, they are never going to change. That’s how things are. And especially when it comes to the bedroom, I think it’s so important to remember that we have different needs and desires and wants throughout life throughout our cycles as women.

Céline Remy 5:45
And so being willing to be curious about how she wants to show up. And then also understanding then, while I know you like to have like which buttons to push press is not a one size fit all when it comes to women.

Kevin Anthony 5:57
Yeah. And, you know, I was thinking originally, when we were creating this show that our first sort of iteration or idea of this topic, I was like, I don’t know if we can do a whole show on it. But seeing how much time we’re spending just talking about this, number one, I’m realizing Yeah, maybe we could do a show, I think we need to move a little bit faster.

Kevin Anthony 6:18
Number two, they have an agenda. We talked about this all the time, right, don’t have an agenda, there’s no destination to get to, there’s no place in particular that you’re going and having an agenda. Well, it can do a lot of different things. One, it can prevent you from being present, because you’re too busy trying to rush to that agenda.

Kevin Anthony 6:39
And two, it can actually stop the spontaneous, amazing moments that happened during lovemaking that you didn’t even know was going to happen.

Céline Remy 6:47
And you know what to bring another point here in having an agenda, which is being needy. And so there’s having the agenda of the agenda is to have sex, but there’s something also deeper, which is being needy, which is such a turnoff for us women. So if you approach us as like, you feel like you’re a beggar you feel like you’re never going to be able to get laid or you’re not good enough.

Céline Remy 7:10
And or you like wanting to get sex with this woman to feel better about yourself. There’s like this deep thing underneath like of being needy that happens. And when that happens, she feels that she’s not turned on. It’s not sexy. So you need to be really aware of like, what’s underneath?

Céline Remy 7:29
Are you trying to get a need met? Are you like not feeling fully worthy or enough on your own? Because if you’re not, then it’s she’s going to feel it. And it’s a big turnoff.

Kevin Anthony 7:41
Yeah, this is something you’re working with a client right now who this is a big issue for so he hasn’t had a lot of luck with women. And so he’s going out there trying to meet women, but his energy is all about lack of need,

Céline Remy 7:53
Angry because then it’s like a self-fulfilling prophecy of like, oh, but the beautiful women only talk to other guys and not to me. Then underneath that is like I’m not lovable, or I’m not good enough, or whatever stories are around that. And that that show up that angry energy. And I’m like, this is not sexy and appealing.

Kevin Anthony 8:13
Yeah, so So you’ve, I’m sure you’ve heard this before. Because guys say this all the time. They’re like when it rains, it pours when I’m single, no woman will go out with me, right? And then as soon as I get into a relationship, all these women want to date me. That’s why what we talked about is exactly why you experienced that.

Kevin Anthony 8:28
Because you’re coming across as needy and desperate when you’re single. But when you’re no longer needy and desperate, because you have somebody in your life, all of a sudden that energy completely shifts. And when we’re like, ooh, of course, there’s also a little like, Oh, well, if she wants him, there must be something good there. But that’s a whole nother

Céline Remy 8:46
I never show Mistake number three, a lot of guys don’t set the mood properly. And sometimes people think about setting the mood as just being our like lighting candles or putting some music on. And while this goes a long way, I think it has also a lot to do with what we call the constant state of arousal of being able to lead her into a sexy mood through the things and acts and behaviors that you do.

Céline Remy 9:15
And it’s a little bit difficult to explain but really like sometimes we women are like I’m in the mood right now. But if you do just the wrong thing at the wrong time, it can kill it all.

Kevin Anthony 9:30
So as far as

Céline Remy 9:32
I know, I know it makes it sound terrible, but it’s important to set the mood properly and we’ll talk about some of the things that you can do about setting the mood also around yourself and for her and for you guys as a couple in a bit later. But understanding that for us sex doesn’t just start when the door is closed. I mean, everything you do for out the day is you literally getting points for like getting laid on Getting late tonight,

Kevin Anthony 10:01
you’re either getting points, or points are being subtracted.

Céline Remy 10:04
That’s exactly thank you for clarifying. Kevin doesn’t really sometimes hide goes, I hate to say this, but it’s kind of true.

Kevin Anthony 10:12
Oh, of course, it’s true. Absolutely. You’re either scoring points or you’re getting points deducted, you want to be in the scoring points. That’s really where you want to be.

Céline Remy 10:24
So let’s talk about Mistake number four here. And I’ll, I’ll, I’ll give it to you to take it from there. So it’s about not taking the lead during sex.

Kevin Anthony 10:36
Yeah, so we’ve talked about this a lot. And, it’s just something we need to keep repeating. Okay, so what do women really want? Women really want a man who takes the lead, not just inside the bedroom, but outside the bedroom

Céline Remy 10:49
and inside of her.

Kevin Anthony 10:53
But then anytime you say that there’s always the people that go, Well, I don’t want to be told what to do. I don’t want this or what if I want to do something different, or you get tons of pushback from it. But here’s the thing, there’s a difference between dictating how it’s going to be and leading it, but being open to feedback and changing direction, right?

Kevin Anthony 11:14
And so that’s, that’s what we teach all the time. It’s like, women want a man who steps up, takes the lead and says, How about we do this? Or Oh, I have an idea, hey, let’s do this, or I want to take you here, I want to do that. Right? And then if the woman is like, not really what I was in the mood for you go, Okay, no problem. Got another idea? No, that’s sexy.

Kevin Anthony 11:35
And then if she doesn’t like that idea, it’s like, Okay, well, what are your ideas? Maybe I can figure out a way to make your ideas happen. Absolutely. So it’s, it’s not even necessarily that you have to come up with your own ideas. You can simply say, Well, what did you have in mind, you know, and then when she gives you her idea, you’re like,

Kevin Anthony 11:54
Okay, I am going to make that happen. I’m going to take the lead and bring your ideas to fruition.

Céline Remy 12:01
Hmm, it sounds so good. And in case you haven’t noticed, we’re giving you mistakes, but we’re also giving you the how to fix them and what to do in them. So you don’t just get to be down the despair pits and last down there, we are giving you the ladder to get out of there.

Céline Remy 12:16
And don’t be too hard on yourself, you know, we do have 17 mistakes, hopefully, you’re not scoring 17 of them. But it’d be good to know if you are doing some of them to change a few things.

Kevin Anthony 12:27
The longer we work with clients, the longer this list becomes, like, Oh, no, no, no, no, please don’t do that. Let’s show you how to do that properly.

Céline Remy 12:37
So let’s talk about once you’re in the bedroom here, one of the biggest things that I do see is that going too fast. Yu ever being in rush, because you’re in these different scenarios I’m going to give to you, number one, your guy who doesn’t have a strong direction. As soon as you have an erection, you’re like, we gotta use this Boehner Go Go Go now sit forever.

Céline Remy 13:02
And so there’s this rush that happens of like, I’ve got the Boehner, wife, wife, come here, we need to like impale you with this. And that’s one scenario. Another scenario is like, Oh, my gosh, I haven’t gotten laid in forever. So I want to make sure this happens right now. And like, let’s get there and put it in. Another scenario is a guy who’s like, uh, don’t really know what I’m doing.

Céline Remy 13:23
But I think that if I put it in, she’s going to be happy. And sometimes you’re just so worried about your own performance, too, that you not taking the time to build that connection with a woman and so you rushing through things, and you’re just going too fast. And this is really what we’re talking about here. There are a few subcategories to this one. Okay.

Céline Remy 13:46
So I’m gonna give you some and I’m sure Kevin has things to add here. But I feel like it’s my duty to mention to you what you shouldn’t be doing. So one thing that I see too, is what guys only touch their woman when they want to have sex with her. This is the worst thing. So she knows. I mean, how many of the couples we work with do that? Well, we always have this way of touching. And when he does this, I know that he wants sex.

Céline Remy 14:11
And that sucks. I think you should be able to touch without having that agenda. Remember, like this was like tip number two that we gave you like the drop this agenda in so you need to have more touch, because then you’re also coming back to that place of like, I’m not getting enough. So now that I’m about to get something like a MIDI, right, and so bringing the touches is essential.

Kevin Anthony 14:35
Yeah, I want you to be guessing like, Oh, is this gonna lead to sex? Or is this not gonna lead to sex? I think that’s way more fun.

Céline Remy 14:45
Yeah. I love that idea, Kevin.

Kevin Anthony 14:47
Well, of course, we’re always teaching constant state of arousal, right? So it’s like, Why only touch her when you’re about to have sex, like, touch her all the time. I’m grabbing you. Every time I walk past you. Right now. We’re touching. That’s true. Under the Table, how sexy no fake and see that Yeah,

Céline Remy 15:03
and I’m wearing a skirt.

Kevin Anthony 15:07
I’m not, but maybe I should be so you can touch me a little more. I finally I just at this moment, I finally understood the whole point behind the kilt

Céline Remy 15:19
access to the jewelry. Yeah, family jewels.

Kevin Anthony 15:23
down those Iris, they really knew what they were doing.

Céline Remy 15:27
Absolutely. So, let’s go back to being in a rush here, okay, because there are a few points I really want to talk to you about, which is about going straight to the breasts or her genitals.

Céline Remy 15:39
Well, it does feel good. I really want to say this is not always what we love. I mean, some of the things I love is like my neck to have it touched my feet, my inner thighs, I mean, the sacrum, the lower back, like having a little massage, that’s not like, generally focus feels amazing. And being able to have that and that I’m being seen as a full body and not just a whole feels really good.

Kevin Anthony 16:03
Yet, of course, we talk all the time, like so with men, it’s fine to go straight to the genitals. And then you can move out from there if you want, you know, like a woman touching a man.

Kevin Anthony 16:12
But when it’s a man touching a woman, you gotta go completely the opposite, you start as far away from the genitals as possible, like, massage your feet, you know, massage your hand, or neck like and then start to work your way in closer, it’s completely the opposite.

Céline Remy 16:28
It is different. And, and it’s good, you should try it.

Kevin Anthony 16:34
I think somebody is getting turned on over here,

Céline Remy 16:36
I’m getting a little warm. I’m definitely getting a little warm here. So let’s talk about when you touch her, one of the things you need to realize is a lot of women tend to be a little bit more sensitive than guys are. And so using too much pressure can work against you, especially when you’re on her cluttering week, but six to 8000 nerve endings on our clips.

Céline Remy 16:58
And I think it’s like double what men have on their penis hat. So if you think you had your penis head is sensitive now double that. And that’s auklet. So imagine like you got to be much more feather-like on the clutter is much, much more than most of the most of you are.

Kevin Anthony 17:15
Yeah, go light. Well, you know, remember, she’s a woman. You’re not in jujitsu class, right? So just go like, go gentle. And she’ll let you know if it’s, hopefully, she’ll let you know if it’s too much, but she’ll definitely let you know if she wants more.

Céline Remy 17:33
I want to bring something you know, like how yesterday so yesterday, I really wanted to be pounded. And I was like, I couldn’t get enough. I was like, take me to pound me and all of that. Kevin’s making leg thumbs up and like I scored faces, you know, listening, so he’s distracting me.

Céline Remy 17:53
But today I started bleeding. And today this morning, Kevin dropped something two things, actually. I was just like, Oh my gosh, this hurts my ears too much. Today, there is no way he’s going to pound me today. I even told him I was like,

Kevin Anthony 18:06
that’s what you think. Just kidding.

Céline Remy 18:10
I told you I was like, I need like, gentleness, I need you to be loving and kind and patient with me like this is so different. And I’m like, the way you talk to me approach me or make love to me is absolutely different. And it’s only been 24 hours.

Kevin Anthony 18:26
Yeah. So you can see why it can be so confusing for me now.

Céline Remy 18:30
Guys, you know, and one last thing I want to say is a lot of guys don’t understand a man’s man a woman’s anatomy. A lot of women don’t know their anatomy Iver so we can blame you for that. But the thing is, you got to understand how things operate and work together and take the time to really like get her in gorge then like get her labor.

Céline Remy 18:51
Yes, swollen, which in turn underneath all of the erectile tissues, including the vestibular bulbs, and all of this. And if all I just said sounds a little weird, and you don’t know what I’m talking about, go to our YouTube channel and I have a video on the vulva tour and female anatomy so you can learn all about those sexy terms that you need to know about.

Kevin Anthony 19:12
Yes. Okay, so those were a bunch of subcategories. Move on to the next one. This is a new one, actually, that we have not had on any list before. And it’s poor undressing skills. So I kind of laughed when I saw you put this one on the list because it’s not what I would have thought of.

Kevin Anthony 19:32
But when I read it, I went. Yeah, actually, you know, if you’re fumbling around and you’re and you’re like making it difficult and like it’s like every comedy movie you’ve ever seen, right? When they’re about to have sex and like the shirt gets stuck over their head or they fall over, they trip over something because they can’t get the pants off or whatever it is like, Yeah, actually, you know, you really should have some skills there. I can tell you a funny story.

Kevin Anthony 19:58
So you pretty never wear a bra. I’m sure that’s no secret to anyone that watches the video. But recently you were wanting to get a couple of new bras just for those moments when you really need one. And so you were trying one the other day and I was like, Oh my god, I haven’t done this since I was a teenager.

Kevin Anthony 20:19
Like, I’m gonna see if I could unclip a bra with just one hand. You know, when you’re a teenager, it’s like the greatest skill ever to be able to like, kiss your reach around and with two fingers just pop the brow and you know, see, let me see if I can still do it. Do I still have those skills? Do you know? And oh, yeah. Boom, first try. Pop that sucker right off. Oh,

Céline Remy 20:40
yeah, I get annoyed because I don’t wear bras and I don’t have this kilt put my bras back on. I think I had to pull it to the prom. I had to ask you to snap it back on for me cuz I was having trouble. So yeah, yeah, slightly. But you know also another thing with poor undressing skills. I want to mention that we like to get a little striptease.

Céline Remy 21:00
And so sometimes if you can, like remove your own clothes in a way that looks good and sexy like that can go a long way in setting the mood to remember like that’s one of the first steps we talked about into like setting the stage and the mood. That having groovy moods.

Kevin Anthony 21:15
I went a long way. So if you’re going to tell guys, they should do a little striptease thing, then I have to give them in some pointers here.

Céline Remy 21:21
That’s true. Tell them

Kevin Anthony 21:23
this is very important. Okay, so as a guy, I personally have never watched a male stripper. I have no idea. What like a sexy move for a guy looks like to a woman right? All I’ve ever seen is watch countless numbers of female strippers. Don’t emulate the female stripper moves. Just don’t do it. It’s not sexy. They might even giggle at you a little bit and then get totally turned off.

Céline Remy 21:52
Here’s what to do. hump everything.

Kevin Anthony 21:55
hump everything and if you have some ideas, go watch. What is it, Magic Mike? I think so. Yeah, go ahead. Go watch that movie with the male strippers and, you know, it’s okay. You’re not gay if you watch it or anything. And if you are gay, that’s okay, too. It’s totally fine. Just pick up a few moves from there.

Céline Remy 22:13
Yes, go a long way.

Kevin Anthony 22:14
Yeah, that helped me. Seriously, that’s no joke. Like, I don’t know what to say. I’m not really a dancer kinda. So it’s not really my thing. And if you’re a dancer, you’re like, whatever. I know exactly what to do. But if you’re not, you’re you have watched that movie. Now. What? Oh, now I get it. Okay, I know what to do.

Céline Remy 22:34
So let’s move on to our mistake number seven. It’s about rushing to get inside her. I think it kind of goes with like going too fast. But going too fast also means sometimes skipping for play. And then that part like rushing to get inside her also means like, when you are close to the entrance, it’s not about just shoving it in. Like, no, don’t do that with your sausage.

Kevin Anthony 22:56
Even if she’s really hungry, or with your penis.

Céline Remy 23:00
What are we talking about? Okay, all jokes aside, you know, a snow entry feels so much better, especially if she isn’t yet fully totally lubricated, or you haven’t used much lube, like, take your time in penetrating her like don’t just like, go straight in and all in like get accustomed to her feel. So she can get used to your feel.

Kevin Anthony 23:24
Yeah, and this of course goes along with our constant state of arousal if you’re doing constant state of arousal, and everybody’s already highly charged and you know, you have maybe you can go in faster. But in most situations, especially if you’re not yet an expert across the state of arousal, don’t just go straight in like, take the time, go slow. Do the foreplay, do the prep, lay the foundation.

Céline Remy 23:47
So so far, this has been really fun. And we hope that you’ve already picked some good pointers and ideas to make you even better in bed. We do want to have to invite you to our program if you are a couple and you are stuck in a rut and basically, your sex is Ivor boring routine mechanical. You know that the fireworks aren’t just there. You do live to love each other, but you feel like really just things aren’t flowing kind of feels like everything’s average.

Céline Remy 24:16
And yeah, I mean, who wants to be average, right? Kevin and I are here for you. We’ve created a program called our highly sexed power couple Platinum Platinum power couple, whatever that is. But it trusts us it’s 90 days. And it’s to help you bring the passion back between the sheets and be synched up sexually so that you can have more passion, and and and and just like feel more purpose in your life as well. So you can find more about our program at Celine remy.com forward slash passion.

Kevin Anthony 24:46
It doesn’t matter what we call it, it works. Really, I mean, maybe we should just call it that it works.

Céline Remy 24:55
It works in 90 days.

Kevin Anthony 24:56
Not the sexiest marketing title but it works. It will transform your life, we guarantee. Okay, let’s move on number eight on our list. They think it’s all about technique. Oh, this is such a big one. I mean, there’s nothing wrong with technique can be good. So study a little technique. But it’s not all about technique. No. And

Céline Remy 25:21
again, like we mentioned earlier, every woman’s a little different. If there was just one technique, just us, we’ll be teaching it to you. But there’s not just one. And again, all the ideas we’re giving you are, well, a lot of it comes from me because I’m the woman here.

Céline Remy 25:35
And so I’m kind of giving you my opinion, and some of my friends and what we’ve seen working with clients, but understand that you need to have communication with your partner, because I may not like to have my nipples pulled really hard, which we’re about to talk about. But somebody else might really like it. So you better check in with that person. Okay.

Céline Remy 25:54
But when it comes to techniques, go beyond the techniques, I believe that we women rather have a connection over perfection and the techniques where you can get lost in new technique and not connecting with us. But when it comes to touching a woman, some of the things that I do see happen is the guys like really grabbing the nipples right away and pulling on them. The only time it feels really awesome is when I’m about to orgasm, and he can’t pull them hard enough.

Céline Remy 26:19
But before that, until I’m at that level, it’s like nope. And everything that makes me cringe every time is seeing the guys like literally rubbing a woman’s breasts like they meeting bread. And I’m like what the puck like this is not what this is about. I mean, try doing some circles try doing around the nipples and teasing her and going one direction the other direction. There’s so much more than just like grabbing and kneading bread that can happen. Well,

Kevin Anthony 26:43
here’s the thing about breasts. breasts aren’t muscles. Right? So that needling technique that feels so good when you do it on somebody’s glutes or, or their calf muscle or any basically any muscle when you’re like, oh, on your shoulders and you’re like, that feels so good. Keep doing it doesn’t work for breasts. Yeah, don’t do it. Don’t do you? Don’t do it. No, you thought about

Céline Remy 27:11
it. Stop it. Just

Kevin Anthony 27:13
stop it.

Céline Remy 27:15
And we can teach you how to do it better. Okay, let’s talk about kissing, if you like making out is awesome, right? And there’s a way of making out if you’re just like so eager meaning having an agenda. So we come back to our mistake number two, then she feels it.

Céline Remy 27:32
And there’s a way between like being in the flow of passion and being really passionate or being overly aggressive into you’re guessing and so eager that the gannets rushing through this. And that can be a mistake. I know. It’s tricky because we’re giving you as you like well, but she wants me to take the lead and she wants me to be passionate. And at the same time, I can’t be overeager. I know it can be confusing, but it’s not that hard.

Kevin Anthony 27:55
No. Practice,

Céline Remy 27:57
practice. Okay, let’s talk about your frosting. Right, when you inside her like really like just going excessively like in and out in and out and going like rabbit style. Unless she requested it. unless she’s been being fogged by you for a while and she’s really warmed up. That’s not what she wants.

Kevin Anthony 28:15
That’s true. Absolutely. Well, you know, a lot of these things. So, you know, these sorts of subcategories that we’re talking about right now. These things really have to do with paying attention. And that’s actually one of the things later on in the list. I want to say it’s

Céline Remy 28:28
the very next one, actually. So go into that. Okay, let’s just go. Mistake number nine, but not paying attention.

Kevin Anthony 28:33
Exactly. Not paying attention to the signs, right. So if you’re thrusting too hard, and you’re seeing her face, squirm, or her legs are tightening up or shifting her position a little or something, those are all signs to tell you that. Now she’s not digging it. She’s not liking it, whether she voices it or not.

Kevin Anthony 28:52
Now all of a sudden, if her legs go even further apart, and her eyes roll back in her head, keep going. But the idea is you just have to pay attention to the signs and that goes with everything. Literally everything. Yeah, every moment. Pay attention to where she’s at how she’s feeling that she looked flushed. Is she smiling is she wincing is like what’s going on there, right? Absolutely.

Céline Remy 29:19
Are they there? It’s called screwing. It’s not called nailing. And so think of it.

Kevin Anthony 29:26
So you have to learn how to spin around in circles.

Céline Remy 29:28
Yeah, sounds good. Spin it, spin it. I really do. But you know what happens when you just frosting you’re always doing the same angle, but when you can do some rotation of the hips and get different like around you start to the ignites new areas inside her vagina that also gives your head a little bit of a breather in terms of having so much sensation so that you can catch your breath and last longer.

Kevin Anthony 29:54
Yeah, for sure.

Céline Remy 29:55
Which is, by the way, one of the mistakes that men make, they don’t last long enough.

Kevin Anthony 29:59
Yeah, that’s true. And that’s

Céline Remy 30:01
sad. But it can be fixed. Go to power and mastery.com. Yeah, that’s

Kevin Anthony 30:06
coming up somewhere on the list here. Not soon enough. Don’t prematurely get there.

Céline Remy 30:15
I want to give a few more mistakes here as we getting close towards the end of our show today, but closing your eyes, I see it as a mistake. When you just lost in your fantasy and closing your eyes, you’re not connecting with her and the eyes are so important to bring that element of connection.

Céline Remy 30:34
And also to help you to pay attention exactly what Kevin was talking about earlier, but seeing the cues, the verbal things that she does. And let’s talk a little bit about you right now attending the table. What can you do as a guy a lot of guys, especially when they’ve been married, they kind of relax, they relax a little too much? A little bit too much belly? Not enough grooming, not enough showering. That’s not attractive.

Kevin Anthony 31:00
Yeah, this is one that we did not have on the list of mistakes before but we did do a whole show to groom or not the groom, where we really covered in-depth like, okay, should you groom? And if so, really like what kind of grooming should you do? So like, what kind of grooming does a woman like from a man she that she wants you to be completely hairless, like a 10-year-old boy?

Kevin Anthony 31:20
Or does she wants you to just trim down a little bit? So you’re not a jungle, right? So that we did a whole episode on that. But I think the important thing here is to know that you don’t matter how old you are, it doesn’t matter how long you’ve been married, like, keep things in good working order. Keep them nice. They should smell good looks good. Tastes good.

Céline Remy 31:42
It goes both ways, by the way. And it’s just we’re talking about men right now. This is why but it does go both ways. And if one of you is really letting themselves go, it’s important to have a discussion about that.

Kevin Anthony 31:52
Yeah. And I would say I mean, I’m sure there are women that let themselves go to but I would say it probably happens more. So on the man side,

Céline Remy 31:58
I’ve had clients who mentioned that too. And also, please be kind to her. Like, if she just had a baby, you can’t expect things to be exactly the way that that they were before. Like, give her a little time. So be gentle with your timing, I think is just my personal opinion. But I think women tend to be a little bit more on it with personal care, just in general. Yeah, that’s true. That’s true.

Céline Remy 32:23
Okay, let’s talk about a few more mistakes here about like not listening to her feedback. And, you know, sometimes it really comes down to thinking you know it all and assuming that you like, are I’ve got this, I’ve pleased woman before, so she should be pleased too.  Guess what we not all exactly the same.

Céline Remy 32:43
So it’s important to listen to her feedback. And at the same time, don’t always take it just so personally, but be willing to listen. If you’re not present during lovemaking, it’s gonna be a big deal-breaker. It’s the biggest mistake we talk about presence so much all the time.

Kevin Anthony 33:00
Yeah, you know, and presence is linked to the listening to feedback, which was also very similar to paying attention to science, but presence is actually even something a little bit more than that. It encompasses those things, but it’s more than just those things. So it’s like, yeah, okay, you might be like, Okay, I’m looking at her cheeks to get kind of flush.

Kevin Anthony 33:20
All right, her lips, I see her nipples are hard. And I’m like, okay, she’s not liking that. But you could be so caught up in doing literally visual acuity, which is paying attention to all those things. But you’re not actually paying attention to her consciousness, for lack of a better way, right?

Kevin Anthony 33:40
Yeah, you can be really paying attention to her body signs, in the sounds and the smells, and whatever, without really paying attention to her. So presence really is all of those things. And then also really paying attention to the being that’s there in front of you.

Céline Remy 33:58
If you want to hear more about presence, we did a whole episode on this, it was Episode 108, how to make a woman weak at the knees. And so go and listen to that. So it was really good and much more in detail in-depth about that.

Kevin Anthony 34:13
There’s lots of skills that you could learn and should learn. Start with that one. Absolutely. Start with that one. If that is the first thing that you can work on. Start with that one.

Céline Remy 34:25
We’ve already talked about not lasting long enough, you know, so and not knowing that orgasm and ejaculation can be separated. If you’ve been listening to the show. This shouldn’t be a true bound anymore. You’re like yeah, we’ve heard this if you don’t know how to do it, work with us, we can teach you how to separate your ejaculation and orgasm.

Céline Remy 34:44
And if you don’t know it yet, you have to start doing it. Trust us. It’s gonna make your lovemaking and her lovemaking experience so much better.

Kevin Anthony 34:51
Yeah, and it’s in the power mastery series as well as teach you how to do that. This is literally groundbreaking. If you can’t do it, you need to learn this. It’s going to take your lovemaking to a whole nother level.

Céline Remy 35:06
Absolutely. I want to talk about two more things. Number one, you can some men assume that she’s satisfied. So again, they may not be paying attention to feedback or asking feedback. Don’t just assume because she came apparently a lot of women do fake, I’ve never faked an orgasm. I’m against that practice very much. Yes. Thank you. Thank you. Oh, please, no, anyway.

Céline Remy 35:31
Getting to at the end, I’m just getting a little crazy here. But don’t just assume she’s satisfied and be willing to listen if she’s not and take action about what you can do. And there’s something that I wanted to bring up. And it’s not personally a mistake.

Céline Remy 35:46
But I wanted to share that what I’ve noticed is that we women, we talk all the time about everything with each other, but like, what happened and details and guys just don’t do that. But sometimes, we wish that guys talked a little bit more about what they did right and wrong in the bedroom so that more guys could get better.

Kevin Anthony 36:03
Okay, so I know, you put this on the list. And as soon as you put it on the list, I was like, I can’t tell guys, this is a mistake because guys just aren’t going to do this. We’re just not. I mean, maybe every once in a while with a specific friend, you might talk a little bit about it, but she’s not something we tend to do.

Kevin Anthony 36:20
So I’m not going to try to tell him that you need to change the nature of who you are. In this regard. I will say that sharing techniques could be beneficial. You know, it’s like if you get together with another musician, and they show you something like oh, wow, that’s a cool little trick.

Céline Remy 36:38
Let me show you my fingering technique.

Kevin Anthony 36:44
That was good. guitars, finger. Good one, thank you. So there could be value in that. And at the same time, I get it. Most guys just don’t talk about that kind of stuff. And that’s fine.

Céline Remy 37:00
Okay, we’re not going to leave you with one concept that remembers that sexual performance is not sexual mastery. And so that’s usually the mistake that some guys do is like I’m so good and bad, I can last

Kevin Anthony 37:11
forever. Meanwhile, everything else that we just talked about. They’re either making all those mistakes or not doing the positive things that we talked about.

Céline Remy 37:19
So sexual mastery is like way beyond just what you’re doing with your deck. It’s how you show up in life is how you are as a man, how you hold space for her your ability to be present to notice a little thing to give her appreciation and so many things. I’m not even catching my breath, because I’m just too excited about all of this. So remember, it’s way beyond just what’s between your legs?

Kevin Anthony 37:41
Absolutely. Okay, who actually we did a pretty good job of getting through all of those things. Well, there you have it. Those are 17 common mistakes that men make that we see with the clients we work with and our own friends and our own past experiences.

Kevin Anthony 37:57
We also gave you how to fix all of those. So we hope this was valuable. And again, if you need more information on these things, we’ve done whole podcasts on some of these. We talked about it in-depth and it’s also in power mastery. So go to power mastery comm or just reach out to us ask us a question or what was the work with you? Yeah. All right, everybody.

Kevin Anthony 38:20
That’s all the time we have for this episode. And we’ll see you next week. We hope you liked this episode of the love lab podcast. If you enjoy this show, subscribe. leave us a review and share it with your friends.

Céline Remy 38:36
And for more free exclusive content. Join us in the passion vault at kevinanthonycoaching.com/vault. Thanks for listening. And remember, you’re amazing