What You’ll Learn In Episode 132:

Do men want more sex than women? Do older people really have less sex? Is a bigger penis better? How many calories does sex burn anyway? In this episode, Kevin & Céline bust 10 common myths about sex and have a lot of fun doing it. Céline even slips and tells the audience how big Kevin’s penis is.

Kevin Anthony 0:11
Welcome to the love lab podcast a safe place to get real about sex. Whether you’re a man, woman, single, or a couple, this is the show for you.

Céline Remy 0:20
We are your hosts, Kevin Anthony and Celine Remy. And we are here to guide you to go from good to amazing in the bedroom and beyond.

Kevin Anthony 0:27
Alright, welcome back to the love lab podcast. This is Episode 132. And it’s titled 10 sex myths everyone thinks are true. So we’re gonna actually have a lot of fun with this show because we’re going to take some common sex myths, and we’re going to bust them, bust them busted. Okay, now, before we start this, I want to say there are a lot of sex myths out there. So narrowing it down to 10 actually isn’t all that easy.

Kevin Anthony 0:59
But one of the criteria was this. There are a lot of myths out there, like, you can’t get pregnant in a hot tub, kind of, you know, nonsense. No reasonable adult believes that these things are true. So we did not cover any of those nonsense things. Like there’s a lot of nonsense out there. We stuck to things that seem plausible, seem reasonable, and that we hear adults say somewhat regularly,

Céline Remy 1:31
Did you think that you can get pregnant if you have your period is like, not new, reasonable one to have on the show.

Kevin Anthony 1:40
I mean, there were so many ridiculous ones. I mean, I’m kind of drawing a blank right now. And some of them because they were so bad. I was like, I couldn’t even read them.

Céline Remy 1:50
Well, technically, we are giving you pain your compliment. Because we know our audience is not 17 years old, we know you’ve evolved, and you’re going to appreciate some of these myths. But before we dive into the myths, let’s give a big shout-out to our sponsor’s power and mastery.

Céline Remy 2:05
So if you want to join the secret club of men who are great in bed and check out power and mastery, it is the most complete sexual mastery training for men. Whether you want to have harder erections last longer in the bedroom or increase your sexual skills, go to power and mastery.com. And you will find something for you.

Céline Remy 2:25
So let’s start with our Myth number one. And we put it number one as a reason because we hear this one a lot. Here’s what goes on. People think that men want sex more than women. That’s the first myth we’re going to bust.

Kevin Anthony 2:43
Yeah. So you know, first we’ll talk about you know what the study said. But then I want to hear your own personal experience, Celine. Oh my gosh,

Céline Remy 2:53
Darn, I gotta be grilled here on the show. That’s right.

Kevin Anthony 2:58
So study wise, it says about a quarter of women rate sex as very important, regardless of their age, the mood in the study who highly valued sex shared the following characteristics, they were more highly educated, they were less depressed, and they had experienced better sexual satisfaction before and during midlife.

Kevin Anthony 3:19
So you know, to me, what this says is, you have educated women who are not depressed and are not stressed out on all shockingly if they’re not depressed, and they’re not stressed, and they’ve had good sexual experiences.

Kevin Anthony 3:32
They’re gonna want sex. So the reason why I kind of took this because I want to give you the floor to speak about this in a minute from a woman’s perspective. But, this myth has persisted for so so long that men are the ones that always want sex, and they want sex all the time. And women really aren’t that interested. And they only want sex from time to time. That is complete nonsense. here’s the here’s really what it comes down to.

Kevin Anthony 3:58
From my point of view, women are not interested in sex, when they don’t get the kind of sex that they want. But when they get the kind of sex that they want, they want it just as much as men and they think about it just as much as men. Okay, Céline, as as the show’s resident female. Tell us your thoughts on this.

Céline Remy 4:20
I would say absolutely that as we go through the teenage years and hormone changes, we want to fuck as much as guys do. And probably exploring and all of this now depending on the background, whether or not you have a religious background or the type of family that you’re in and what you’ve been taught. These are all different, like beliefs and pressure and peer pressure.

Céline Remy 4:46
It doesn’t mean that you don’t feel the need to fuck and trust me a teenage girl and a young woman will have the same amount of a need to fuck I went through this like I remember like, I would just like have sex with a guy because I just had to have it that night like, I would just pick somebody for that purpose.

Céline Remy 5:04
And what I do see is that then if we become more stressed out that will take some of our desire away, and especially if we have stressful jobs, families, lots of things to take care of people to take care of kids, women will tend to prioritize our people sometimes, and then maybe put the sex on the backburner. But it’s only because of this stress. If you remove the stress, the desire is there,

Kevin Anthony 5:35
I think it’s important to distinguish between the desire being there, and the action. And I think that’s where a big part of this myth comes from, is that men are probably more likely to try to act on the desire, where women are probably a bit more reserved when it comes to acting on the desires.

Kevin Anthony 5:57
It’s a generality, I know, there’s plenty of women that act on the desire, you know, and you rightfully said that you did at times too, but maybe you were less likely than a guy.

Céline Remy 6:06
What what I do see sometimes is you know, like, oftentimes you very surprised when I tell you how for the day, I felt horny, and I thought about having sex with you like three or five times that day, and you’re like, what, and I’m like, Yeah, and I didn’t act on it. I mean, because I was doing something else I made, maybe I was editing a show or doing whatever else. And it was like, it’s not the time and place for it.

Céline Remy 6:26
However, I was feeling sexual desire. And then by the time the evening came, because I spent all my energy on doing other stuff, then I was done and not so much of it anymore. So that’s definitely something that I can see happening too. It’s a very important distinction that we bring in here between the desire and the action of itself.

Céline Remy 6:45
And I also think that later on in life, and this is also the study we chose here because that myth is also that as women age, they want sex less, there might be a time where women will feel imbalanced. We talked about this in our previous show on perimenopause, and going through the hormonal changes how it can affect our libido.

Céline Remy 7:04
Yes, that could affect us for some years. But for most women, and a lot of them, after they’re done through going through their transition, sex becomes better and more interesting. There’s no more fear of being pregnant, there’s so much liberation, you don’t care anymore, and you’re going for it. And then the transformation to full Cougar is complete.

Kevin Anthony 7:27
Okay, let’s move on to the next one. Cuz we got 10 that we’ve got to get through here. And yeah, okay. Number two is married, older people have less sex.

Céline Remy 7:38
It’s a math tube. So something that was really cool is in doing the research, we found a study where they started some things, and it was in Sweden, and they had done some studies in the 70s. And then they were comparing to nowadays the data. So that’s, that was pretty fascinating. And some of the things that they found was that in 1971, 52%, of married men, aged 70, and AP reported that they were still sexually active.

Céline Remy 8:04
I mean, it’s still good, like half of the people in the 70s, were still having sex, like 70 and up. And in more recent research, that figure increased to 68%. That’s amazing, you know. And similarly, just 38% of married woman over the age of 70, reported being sexually active in 1971, compared to 56%, quoted in more recent research, okay,

Kevin Anthony 8:29
so we have to point out one thing here that notice those numbers don’t exactly at what this means is, there are a bunch of men over 70, who are having sex with women that are not in that age group. Just to point out the big elephant in the room. Now that we’ve got that over with,

Céline Remy 8:54
the other part of this was that older adults are having more sex than you may think of all the sexually active older adults 25% report having sex at least once a week. That’s amazing compared with 10% in the 1970s. Not only that, but at least half of the men and women said their relationships were very happy.

Kevin Anthony 9:13
I would love to know why there’s such a difference between the 70s. And today, because honestly, I think people were healthier in the 70s than they are now.

Céline Remy 9:23
Well, they do say that nowadays, we tend to live longer, and that also, people tend to their what is labeled sexual dysfunction. So maybe in the 70s, they didn’t have Viagra, or they didn’t have certain things that allow people to have sex that now is easy. Like, I don’t know how much they used lube, how much they had hormonal replacement therapy, how much they had Viagra, all of these things actually allow people to have sex for longer even when their body is not functioning the way it should.

Kevin Anthony 9:53
Those are very good points. I hadn’t thought about that, that again. I hadn’t really given it any thought it just was a question that came up right now at this moment. Like, I wonder why such a difference, but those are actually good points. It’s that’s probably has a lot to do with it.

Céline Remy 10:05
So let’s talk about our Myth number three here. Being good in bed is all about technique. So if you man and you’ve always thought that you needed to learn the triple-digit tongue move so that you could really be labeled as good in bed. That’s not it. That’s not everything. the technique is good, but not what most people report as the thing that makes a lover great.

Céline Remy 10:28
Most report that it is trust, connection, love, presence, attentiveness, and foreplay that starts long before any physical contact. That’s pretty amazing. Because all of these things are not technique. They’re the skills and behaviors that you learn in life. And less than one in five women indicated that sex that lasts a long time made orgasms feel better.

Kevin Anthony 10:52
Yeah, this is something we talk about all the time on the show. And I mean, no matter who you talk to, if you ask them the right questions, this is the answer that you’re going to get. Right. So you know, if you ask them a question, it’s like, oh, well, are they What? Does it feel better? If they do such and such a thing? they’ll likely say yes, but if you really dive down into it, like, what is it that made? You know, think about the best lover you’ve ever had in your life? And tried to explain to us, what made them so great

Céline Remy 11:24
to connection? That’s the first thing that came to my mind. It’s the connection, it’s the intimacy and that connection,

Kevin Anthony 11:29
always the answer that you’re getting, especially for women, you know, maybe if you’re reversing it the other way, and asking the men it might be slightly different, but especially with the women because they need to feel that trust, they need to feel that safety, they need to feel that connection, and that love that allows them to really surrender into the experience.

Kevin Anthony 11:49
And that is what they often report as having the most amazing sex. In fact, I’ve been reading a book recently by somebody that we know, actually, and one of the things that she was saying is that the pattern she noticed, from the few lovers that she’s female ejaculate with was that the thing they all had in common is they made her feel safe enough that she could totally surrender. Right?

Kevin Anthony 12:17
So these are the things and you know, a lot of women would say, wow, you know, like, it’s generally pretty intense when they female ejaculate, right? So that means they were really having great sex is because of those, you know, things that we would kind of call like, soft skills, you know. And that’s all that connection, love, presence, slash tenderness, foreplay, all that kind of stuff.

Céline Remy 12:38
You know, technique is great, because it does make a difference if you know what you’re doing, you know, the anatomy, but it’s not everything, because you might be able to know what you’re doing, but not liking it, and the person can feel it. Or you might know what you’re doing, but not really be present and think about something else.

Céline Remy 12:54
So if you’re not there, again, it doesn’t matter that you’re doing the right thing. There’s still a component that’s missing. And those things are not technical things. I can’t really, I mean, they can be taught in a concept, but you still have to really experience that for yourself.

Kevin Anthony 13:07
Yeah. And you know, if you listened to our episode, how to make love, like a porn star or not. The whole reason for the or not is because here’s a guy that we interviewed who’s had sex with, like 5000 women. And he basically said the same thing that it’s not about the technique that makes you so great.

Céline Remy 13:27
It’s about paying attention. Yeah.

Kevin Anthony 13:29
So that’s straight from the mouth of literally a “technique expert.”

Céline Remy 13:34
porn star. Alright, bring us Myth number four. Kevin.

Kevin Anthony 13:38
All right. Myth number four sex burns a lot of calories. I kind of wish this one were true. But according to a study by the University of Montreal, dudes burn more than 100 calories while women burn 69 calories during sex. Compare this to a half-hour light run we’re finding suggests women burn about 213 calories during a jog more than double the calories burnt from sexy times now, Alright, here’s the thing. I think you know where I’m going to go with this.

Kevin Anthony 14:13
When we look at the average times that people have sex, and you know, the average man ejaculate in you know, three to five, five to seven minutes, give or take, I don’t know how much sex they’re having, you know, foreplay wise before that, or maybe after that, but let’s just say these numbers are probably skewed by the fact that most people don’t have long sex. However, having said that, as a former personal trainer, I can tell you that how many calories you burn does have a lot to do with your heart rate.

Kevin Anthony 14:49
And with how much energy muscular energy it takes to do something, so you know, if your sex is generally she just lays there with her legs. Spread and he just gets on top and pumps and pumps a little bit. You’re probably not doing as much as you think you’re doing. Now there are some people that have some really acrobatic vigorous sex.

Kevin Anthony 15:14
I know there are some times there have been one or two times I can recall, were like in doggy style, where like I was sweating and out of breath and I’m a pretty in shape guy, you know, like I do cardio stuff like I can get on my mountain bike and still ride circles around people half my age, right so I’m doing pretty good sometimes when I was like

Céline Remy 15:38
Panting and all

Kevin Anthony 15:39
I am out of breath so but if you’re having that kind of sex, then potentially you are burning more but in general, the myth is busted because most people I don’t think really burn that many calories.

Céline Remy 15:54
I don’t think you should have sex to burn calories, but you should have sex to reduce your stress because that will indeed reduce your stress and make you feel better and more connected. Bring your oxytocin so there’s a lot of other good benefits to sex. But you know, burning calories, probably not one of them.

Kevin Anthony 16:10
Well, you know, I wouldn’t say go have sex to burn calories and get in shape. I think getting in shape and burning calories is a fucking awesome side benefit. Keep in mind though, that double quadruple grande a frappuccino mocha, whatever thing that’s probably like 1000 calories in and of itself. So think about how long you would have to have sex just to burn that one drink. One drink that you had.

Céline Remy 16:39
Let’s talk about myth number five men are more attracted to younger women.

Kevin Anthony 16:45
Okay, so this I find very interesting. Also, I’m gonna have to go on a little rant on this one. Okay, so when I was researching this one, I was trying to find some studies, right. And I did find a study said in a major study of human mating done in 1989. evolutionary psychologist David Buss found that in each of the 37 cultures, he surveyed men prefer to marry younger women by an average of 2.66 years and women preferred older men by an average of 3.42 years.

Kevin Anthony 17:15
Okay. When you’re doing research on this, you’re going to get lots of studies like that, where they’re going to say, Yeah, men absolutely prefer women because look, look, they prefer to a woman that was on average two years younger than they were. Okay, yeah. Here’s the thing. Plus or Minus about five years means nothing. Nothing, it means something when you’re 15.

Kevin Anthony 17:37
And somebody who’s five years younger, yeah, that’s a big difference. That’s like a no, right? But when you’re an adult, and you’re older, plus or minus a couple of years is still somebody that’s in your age range, right? Especially like, three 2.66 years or even 3.4. Like you were both in high school at the same time, you grew up in the same decade, you had all the same experiences like that, to me is basically the same.

Céline Remy 18:01
Yes, I would agree with that.

Kevin Anthony 18:03
So, you know, in my opinion, I think this myth is busted. Because when people say men like younger women, what do they really mean? Do they really mean 2.66 years? No, that’s not actually what they mean, the big fear that women have as they age, let’s say they get into there, you know, 30s 40s, or even 50s, is that the men are all gonna go date 20 somethings, right, or even 30 somethings, you know, they’re talking about dating women 20 years, or 30 years younger than they are.

Kevin Anthony 18:33
And that does happen, of course. But the average the majority of men are not interested in dating somebody that much younger than that. And the statistics show that when you start looking at it, it’s like 2.66 years, like whatever, right? And there are actually some stats, I didn’t put them in here, because I actually found a breakdown that had tons of stats, and it was showing everything from the fact that even a certain percentage of men, I think, was 30 13%. I think it was 30. I don’t remember 13% or 27%.

Kevin Anthony 19:09
There were so many numbers in this article that I found, but it was of men who prefer older women. Right? So that’s kind of all over the board. And the reason why I say that this myth is completely busted, is because most men want to date people relatively close to their own age relatively within a few years here or there, and it can be a few years older, or even a few years younger.

Kevin Anthony 19:36
And we talked about this on two previous shows now. I’m gonna bring it up again, one last time for you guys listening but or actually, I guess maybe it’s more for the women listening.

Kevin Anthony 19:45
But I’ve had multiple conversations with men who say that they literally find that their women become more attractive as they get older. And I can tell you from my own personal experience, I might look at a young woman. You know, some Who’s I mean, at this point, they could be 20 years younger than me and still be in their mid-20s and be fully developed and like women, right, you know, and I can look at them and think,

Kevin Anthony 20:08
Wow, they’re beautiful, they’re sexy, they’re hot. I bet. You know, it would be great to have sex with them. And then and then, and then I realized that you know, actually, the SEC probably isn’t very good. They haven’t had much experience. They don’t even know who they are yet and they don’t know what they like yet. Right? And then there’s so much immaturity that comes sorry, no offense to the young women listening.

Kevin Anthony 20:33
But the reality is, is that younger people, whether they’re men or women, there’s a level of immaturity there that is not sexy to somebody that’s older. So when I look at, like, Who would I actually want to date, I want a sexy, confident, mature woman who knows what she wants and knows how to ask for it. Like all those things that don’t really come in the young package.

Kevin Anthony 21:01
So that’s why I think this myth is thoroughly busted. If you disagree with me say so in the comments, send us a message telling me that I’m full of shit. I don’t know.

Céline Remy 21:13
We are curious. All right, let’s give. Let’s make a little break for our sponsors Onnit here before we continue with our myths. So we want to thank Onnit for sponsoring today’s show. And they have this phenomenal product called alpha brain and alpha brain is something that helps you to get in the zone. You know, like those days when you’ve closed a big deal when the game made love for hours checked everything off your to-do list, and everything was effortless, and it just flowed that sweat as being in the zone in the flow state is.

Céline Remy 21:46
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Kevin Anthony 22:20
Okay, now, the myth everyone has been waiting for I know you’ve read the whole time thus far in the show you’ve been gone Come on, come on, you gotta get to it. When is it gonna happen? Now is the time bigger is better when it comes to the penis?

Céline Remy 22:42
Is that true that a big penis means better sex?

Kevin Anthony 22:45
Hmm. What do you think?

Céline Remy 22:48
I don’t think so. I’ve had small I’ve had in between, and I don’t think so. Now I think it’s also how you use it and many other things.

Kevin Anthony 22:58
Okay, let’s go into the actual data first, and then and then we’ll talk about personal experience.

Céline Remy 23:04
Okay, so bigger is better to a point because let’s face it, it’s true that a certain size can feel good. In findings. What they found is that eight inches are the optimal penis size. I find it pretty vague actually when it comes to making women orgasm. That’s what they found.

Kevin Anthony 23:23
Okay, so I believe this was based on surveys correct? And I’m pretty damn sure that they were all overestimating the size but we’ll get to that I’ll let you finish it and we’ll talk about Yeah,

Céline Remy 23:34
so Okay, eight inches or right that’s like you said this was survey data by a dating site called big one. So you know that’s slightly skewed. But anyway, the same survey showed that climax interesting capabilities drop off dramatically in anything bigger than nine inches. So really, you have an eight to nine inches window like okay,

Kevin Anthony 23:59
but before all these guys out there go Oh, fuck. Terrible in bed. No woman’s ever gonna want me to keep in mind the average penis size is literally five inches.

Céline Remy 24:08
Yes. Well, so let’s look at the biggest guy. The game so far. The name was Jonah Falcom and he has a 13 point half inches penis. I mean, can you believe this? Like, whoa, run the other direction anyway, skill is just as important as size per the research. So the study found that three inches, which is the threshold for a micropenis, eight orgasms in a quarter of woman, while more than one in 10 women with one inch still hit the

Kevin Anthony 24:39
men with a one-inch penis. Sorry, we’re still able to hit this box.

Céline Remy 24:42
Holy moly. Well, that’s what I mean. So 25% of women still are satisfied with a three-inch penis because I know a lot of guys we’ve done some videos on penis size and stuff and people are like, Well I have a three-inch penis or four-inch penis. I always tell them like yes, some women will not want And it won’t work.

Céline Remy 25:01
But other women will be perfectly satisfied with that, our G spot is not that deep like you reach it with a three-inch penis. As a matter of fact, a large number of survey participants deemed girth to be crucial when it comes to experiencing rapture in the sack.

Kevin Anthony 25:20
Okay, there’s a bunch of things that we have to say here. First of all, we did a show on large penises. We do have some friends that have very large penises. And we’ve talked to them extensively about this. And honestly, their sex lives generally are not as fulfilling as men that have more normal-sized penises. Because

Céline Remy 25:38
let’s say average. It not that they are not normal.

Kevin Anthony 25:42
that’s true because it’s all crosses,

Céline Remy 25:44
Normal comes in all shapes and sizes.

Kevin Anthony 25:47
Thank you for that. So, but But yeah, their sex life tends to actually be a bit less fulfilling than men who have average-sized penises. Because there are some women that are like, whoa, whoa, that thing’s not coming anywhere near me. There are problems with pain, sometimes where women experience pain because the penis is too big, even if they don’t experience pain.

Kevin Anthony 26:06
And sometimes men who have exceptionally long penises, can’t actually go all the way in. So you can’t literally have that sensation of like the pubic bone grinding up against the clitoral and all these other things. And so having a big penis does not necessarily mean that the sex is going to be good, or any better.

Kevin Anthony 26:29
And then the other side of that is when you see the data and when you see that women report that even men that technically fall into the category of the scientific medical definition of micropenis, which is you know, three inches or less. Women are still reporting that they’re having orgasms

Céline Remy 26:49
25% of women are still reporting orgasm. So you just have to find the right 25% not looking for 75%.

Kevin Anthony 26:58
there’s always a few size queens out there where it SIZES All I’ve known one or two who were like, hey, if it’s not X amount, you know, forget it. But remember, the average size is five. And 25% of women are even reporting having orgasms with a micropenis. So if you fall anywhere close to that average, at that point, you’re basically capable of giving any really giving but a woman is perfectly capable of having an orgasm with that penis.

Kevin Anthony 27:25
And so remember, it’s not about the size of it. It’s all how you use it. And all of those other soft skills that we talked about earlier that come in, right, that presence and the trust and the safety and all those other things in the foreplay and all of that, right. Don’t worry about it. If you don’t have an eight-inch penis,

Céline Remy 27:43
you don’t and you’re a great lover.

Kevin Anthony 27:45
That’s right. Yes, you did.

Céline Remy 27:53
What is it seven inches and a quarter?

Kevin Anthony 27:57
Yeah, I believe it’s about seven. I forgot the

Céline Remy 27:59
I figured if I forgot the quarter you would be mad at me.

Kevin Anthony 28:03
We will just say seven-plus

Céline Remy 28:08
seven plus of happiness.

Kevin Anthony 28:14
But I mean, the reality is, is think about it. What is the average mean? It means that 50% of the people have a penis smaller than five and 50% half one bigger than five. That’s what average means. So yeah, if you’re anything around five-ish, you’re good to go.

Céline Remy 28:34
Give or take too.

Kevin Anthony 28:37
really depends on the woman anyway.

Céline Remy 28:40
Alright, enough of that. Let’s talk about our Myth number seven men think about sex every seven seconds. So you’ve probably heard that that guy’s think about it all the time. You know what that means is that if men really thought about sex every seven seconds, that would mean about 8000 times per day.

Céline Remy 28:57
In reality, according to the Kinsey Institute, 54% of men say that they think about sex several times per day and 43% said it was a few times per week. Actually, when they did the count, it came to about an average of 19 times per day, which is more reasonable. And another study found that people thought more about food, sleep, personal hygiene, social contact, time off, and even coffee than sex. I wish I had

Kevin Anthony 29:25
enough free time to think about sex every seven seconds. I really do. Just too much to do in life. I mean, honestly, our job is talking about sex and helping people with their sex life. And I still can’t think about sex every seven seconds. It’s my work. I spend most of the day doing it. I still can’t think about it every seven seconds.

Kevin Anthony 29:49
I’m thinking about posting on social media and editing and why this stupid video recording software is not working today when it used to work yesterday and God knows how many other things that we’re dealing with on a regular basis. Seven seconds. Come on now, this is almost as bad as you can’t get pregnant in a hot tub.

Céline Remy 30:10
Well, I don’t know. I think one day I’d like to try to track it and know for sure, but I’m probably gonna

Céline Remy 30:22
I think about sex robots 1520 times a day. Yeah, probably less like on top, you know, but I should track it too. I think we should maybe make an episode on that. That’ll

Kevin Anthony 30:30
be a fun experiment. We’ll do it.

Céline Remy 30:32
Let’s talk about Myth number eight. Women take longer to get aroused by then men. This is a big one because this is a big year. It goes around and around that I take so long for women to get aroused, and men arouse so quickly. Well, guess what? There is absolutely no difference in how quickly the genders respond to foreplay. As a generalization.

Céline Remy 30:54
According to a study out of McGill University, the researchers relied on thermal imaging to determine peak arousal rather than self-reporting. Haha, that’s the difference, right? And so being in the mood is linked to stress and is as much psychological as it is physical.

Kevin Anthony 31:10
Okay, so here’s the thing. Women will get aroused just as quickly if you create the right circumstances and environment. Right. And here’s the other thing is that one of the things I notice, especially with you, is there have been many times and you’re like, Ah, I’m not really in the mood, right?

Kevin Anthony 31:31
And that’s a rest anyway. Right? And, and then I’ll feel your vagina and it’s wet and open. This means you are actually aroused in your physical body, you’re just not aroused. In your mind.

Céline Remy 31:46
Yeah. And this is really why the studies showed that there is no difference because they relied on thermal imagery rather than self-reporting, so if they were self-reporting, most women would say I’m not aroused, while they are aroused already. They just haven’t made the connection.

Céline Remy 32:03
And I know that it’s 100% true, being a woman. Exactly what Kevin said, happens to me all the time. So I’ve learned over time to not allow my brain to dictate what I’m going to do and check in with my body. And if it feels good, if it’s wet, juicy, open, let’s go with it. Because then the rest follows.

Kevin Anthony 32:24
Exactly. And the first part of what I said is, you got to create the right environment, right? So if you’re doing the things that it takes beforehand, you know, we always talk about intimacy before, during, and after, if you’re doing all those things before to create that constant state of arousal that we always talk about. She’s not going to need a whole lot of time.

Kevin Anthony 32:45
She’s just not. Alright, let’s move on to Myth number nine. men can’t have multiple orgasms. Man, I still hear this one. There are whole books written on this. And this one still is going around that there’s no such thing as multiple orgasms for men. Let me Okay, let me just say before Selene chimes in, I’m a man. the case you were wondering. I absolutely have multiple orgasms all the time. Every time we have sex.

Céline Remy 33:22
Yeah, man, keep going. Keep coming.

Kevin Anthony 33:25
But no, that’s the difference. Right? I’m so glad you made that joke. Okay, so the difference is, most men associate an ejaculation and an orgasm as being the same thing. They tend to happen at the same time. And so most men, especially older men, it’s different for younger men is kind of hard to even call them men, but young men, you know, they can ejaculate multiple times.

Kevin Anthony 33:50
I mean, I can remember being 17 years old and having sex with my high school girlfriend and, and probably orgasming, four or five times after school, you know, every day. You couldn’t really last that long and you’d have a jacket but you’d still be hard to keep going right? You know, that would happen a bunch of times. That’s normal for you know, young men.

Kevin Anthony 34:11
But for more mature men, what’s more, common is they have one orgasm slash ejaculation and then they’re kind of done. And that’s where the myth comes from. That you know, you can only have one orgasm, but if you learn to separate your orgasm and ejaculation, then you can have multiple orgasms and then choose whether or not you want to ejaculate. So we teach this in our master your ejaculation.

Céline Remy 34:38
program sexual mastery

Kevin Anthony 34:40
and in sexual mastery Yeah. So you absolutely can learn it. There are tons of other people who teach it. This is one of the huge things that monarchy teaches that he’s one of the big proponents of that

Céline Remy 34:54
power and mastery.com if you want to learn how to do this. We’ll teach you actually the study. They reported something. It was what was that? Researchers William Hartman and Marilyn Fithian said that what percent of men they’ve studied, were reporting multiple orgasms. It’s not that many, but it means that it’s possible.

Céline Remy 35:13
And again, it’s a learned skill, like Kevin said, so if you don’t know about it, you probably won’t try to do it. Now that you know that it’s possible, you can be part of that 12 people and make that 12 people become higher.

Kevin Anthony 35:25
Yeah, you know, 1% 2% is like, there are some really freaky dudes out there, but 12 12% and if you were to ask, you know, 100% of men, like how many of them have heard of this or even tried to do it, you’re gonna get a very low percentage. So the reason why it’s probably only 12% is that most guys have never even heard of it, is why we spend so much time talking about it,

Céline Remy 35:49
but now you have, so there are no more excuses.

Kevin Anthony 35:52
That’s right, go learn how to do it.

Céline Remy 35:54
Let’s talk about myth number 10. Most women don’t watch porn. Haha, and you are so wrong. We are at the time of this episode released at the beginning of 2021. And the latest study, we’re able to find what 2019 I don’t think that 2020 have just come out yet. And anyway, 2020 was kind of weird. So I’m not sure what oh,

Kevin Anthony 36:17
I guarantee you that number is higher in 2020. Oh, gosh, you ride every worldwide lockdown for almost an entire year, I guarantee you this number is higher.

Céline Remy 36:26
Oh, I can’t wait for that. So in 2019 this so that the proportion of female visitors and that’s for Pornhub. So it’s like the major porn site like millions, millions, billions, right of people going there, and tons of stuff on there read this so that it grew to 32%.

Kevin Anthony 36:44
So 32% of visitors going to Pornhub were female.

Céline Remy 36:50
And it was third, yes,

Kevin Anthony 36:52
a third, a third of their visitors are female.

Céline Remy 36:56
Apparently, they like to watch a lot of lesbian stuff.

Kevin Anthony 36:59
I’m not surprised by that.

Céline Remy 37:02
interesting to think that you know, porn is not just from for men, and that there’s also been a lot of news genre out there with a more female director and porn actors making their own movies maybe that are targeting woman better, which

Kevin Anthony 37:18
I think that definitely has something to do with because I can honestly say from the experience with, you know, girlfriends that I’ve had over the years is that none of them ever really objected to watching any porn. Their objection was always that the porn was just terribly made.

Kevin Anthony 37:35
You know, and I remember with a girlfriend, going back 15 years ago, she was like, and they are doing this now we should have probably got in on it back then. But back then, it was typical, you know, old school porn that was all made for men. It was not very sexy, per se. It was just you know, wham bam Thank you, ma’am. kind of thing. plumber walks in, drops his pants go, you know.

Kevin Anthony 37:58
And she used to say we need to have porn for women, you know, stuff that’s more aesthetically pleasing and beautiful, and incorporates more sensuality and then more love and

Céline Remy 38:10
definitely doing this now. So that might help to that might be why but I also think that a lot of women, a lot of people are single, a lot of people want some stimulation or find a connection. And sometimes porn gives them that sense of that or excites them enough because they can’t get there on their own. Yeah, or they just need a release.

Kevin Anthony 38:29
mean, even when we look at things like you know, you level the number of people that are single, you know, how many people are on dating sites? I’m sure there’s a correlation here that that the more single people there are, the more people are having trouble finding you know, the one or whatever the more porn use there’s going to be I guarantee you there’s there is

Céline Remy 38:52
a correlation.

Kevin Anthony 38:53
Yeah, and causation. Not even just a correlation. All right, everybody, there you go. Those are our 10 sex myths. Busted, busted, busted. busted.

Céline Remy 39:09
We hope that was entertaining. We actually had a lot of fun doing it.

Kevin Anthony 39:12
Yeah. And you know, if you have what other ones that you want us to talk about and cover, maybe we will do a follow-up episode of this. Let us know in the comments, send us a message. And we would be happy to bust some more sex than this like Mythbusters sex edition.

Kevin Anthony 39:29
They never did anything like that on the actual Mythbusters but we can here on the love lab podcast. Alright, everybody, that’s all the time we have for this episode, and we will see you next week.

Kevin Anthony 39:45
We hope you liked this episode of the love lab podcast. If you enjoy this show, subscribe. leave us a review and share it with your friends.

Céline Remy 39:53
And for more free exclusive content. Join us in the passion vault at kevinanthonycoaching.com/vault

Kevin Anthony 40:07
Thanks for listening,

Céline Remy 40:08
and remember, you’re amazing

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