Why It’s Important To Make Her Happy & How To Do It

Kevin Anthony 0:11
Welcome to the Love Lab podcast a safe place to get real about sex. Whether you’re a man or woman single or a couple, this is the show for you.

Céline Remy 0:20
We are your hosts, Kevin Anthony and Céline Remy and we are here to guide you to go from good to amazing in the bedroom and beyond.

Kevin Anthony 0:27
All right, welcome back to the Love Lab podcast. This is episode 236. And it’s titled Why it’s important to make her happy and how to do it. All right, all right. All right, there are already some people screaming, it’s not my job to make her happy. We’ll explain what I mean by that. So, before we do that, though, let’s have a word from our sponsor. Do you want to join the secret club of men who are great in bed, then check out powerandmastery.com it is the most complete sexual mastery training for men, whether you want to have harder erections last longer or increase your sexual skills, there is something for you at power and mastery.com. That is power and mastery.com.

That is our men’s sexual mastery course, it is version 2.0. I’m getting ready to make version 3.0. And don’t worry, anybody that buys 2.0 right now will have access to all of the 3.0 stuff for life. Anything new, that’s added, you will have it? So yeah, it’s a fantastic program, I highly suggest if you are needing help in the sex, love, and relationship space in your man that you go check that out. Okay, so we’ve all heard the saying, happy wife happy life. But is that really true? Yes, as a matter of fact, it is true. So, you know, I gave this episode a little bit of a provocative title, which is why it’s important to make her happy. Now, if you go on the internet, and you just type in, say that title or something similar to it, you will get a bunch of articles on how to make her happy, for sure.

But you’ll also get articles on why it’s not your job to make her happy. And you can’t be responsible for other people’s happiness, and yadda yadda, yadda. So both of those are actually correct. So what I want to do in this show first, is start with what it doesn’t mean, right? So when I talk about why it’s important to make her happy, what am I not actually saying? Then I want to talk about what I am actually saying, I want to talk about why it’s important. And then of course, I’m going to give you the how-to because you got to know how to do it. So we got a lot of ground to cover here. And I just want you to hang in there. Because this actually is a really important topic.

So you know, even though a lot of the topics that I cover, especially these days tend to be more for men, I know that we have a significant number of women listening, and remember that every time I talk about something for men, you can learn something to ladies, because it can really help you understand either where men are at, maybe have some compassion for them. But even more importantly, when I go through the things that a man can do to make you happy, some light bulbs might go off. And you might be like, oh, yeah, I never realized that was a need that I had. And man, if he had just done that, that would make me so much happier, right? A lot of times women don’t necessarily know what it is that they need or want. And I mean, that’s true of men too. I’m not saying specifically women.

But the idea is that by listening, you could also get a better idea of what it is you really need what it is you really want what it is you’re craving from your man. So I think there’s value here for both, even though I’m kind of sort of really telling the men how to do this. And of course, also keep in mind, we’ve said this many times on the show, you know, when we talk men and women, yes, we are primarily talking biological men, biological women. However, in every relationship, whether it’s same-sex or not, somebody is always in the masculine role. Somebody is always in the feminine role. So if you happen to be in the masculine role, then all of these things basically apply to you. Right. All right. So what doesn’t it mean when I say that, you know why it’s important for you to make her happy?

What doesn’t that mean? Because I think we need to start there. Okay, number one, giving so much at the expense of yourself. So what you don’t want to do is try so hard to make her happy that you are sacrificing your own needs your own happiness, right? So because this is a misconception, or it’s like, oh, well, you need to make her happy, Oh, I gotta go out of my way I got to do this, I got to do that I got to do all these things that I wouldn’t normally do. That’s not necessarily the case. And when we get to the list of how to make her happy, I think that’ll become more clear. And you’ll understand better what I am talking about. But basically, you don’t have to give so much that it’s literally detrimental to your own needs and your own self. Number two, compromising your values. If you have to compromise your values just to make your partner happy, you are probably not in the right relationship.

And why do I say that? Well, because in a really aligned relationship, you should share mostly the same values. I mean, if you’re not value-aligned, what are you even doing in a relationship together? So if you have to compromise your values because to make somebody to make your partner happy to make her happy, you have to somehow change your values and bend to their values, then that’s a problem. And that’s not something that you should do. In fact, I strongly recommend that you don’t do that. Always hold true to your values. And by the way, women will respect you a whole lot more if you do that.

If you say you have a set of values. And then she wants you to do something, and she knows that it goes against your values. If you just let your values go just to make her happy. She’s actually not going to be happy. Why? Because she’s gonna say, man, that guy’s got no backbone, like, How can I trust him, he just threw his value right out the fucking window, just because I asked him to write. So definitely do not compromise your value. So that, you know, we’re talking about the things that we’re not saying here when we say, you know why you should make her happy. So don’t give so much at the expense of yourself, and don’t compromise your values. Here’s another one. Number three, don’t compromise your boundaries. If you have a boundary, if you’re like, hey, this is something that is a no for me that I’m not willing to do. I have a boundary around this. But oh, but I need that because blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. No, again, if you’re in a healthy relationship with the right person, they would never ask you to compromise your boundaries just to make them happy.

So definitely do not do that. Number four. And I kind of sort of mentioned this along with number one, but trying too hard. This isn’t supposed to be hard. People think, Oh, I got to try so hard to make her happy. I got to do this, I got to do that. It’s exhausting. It’s this. No, it shouldn’t be. And if it feels like that, then either you’re doing something wrong. Or she’s asking for things that are probably unreasonable. So no, you don’t have to try super hard. You do have to put in the effort, though. And we’ll talk about that when it comes to you knowing how to do this, there is effort because you have to put effort into every relationship if you want it to be good. This idea that you put in some effort in the beginning in order to you know, get secure or get married or whatever it is, and then you can just sort of coast on autopilot.

No, it doesn’t work like that. I’m fairly certain, though, that the listeners of this show understand that you probably wouldn’t be listening to the show, if you didn’t realize that, you know, you got to put the effort in, just like anything else, Selena and I used to say all the time, you know, everything in this world in this three-dimensional world that we live in is either growing or dying, nothing is ever staying static in any one place. And your relationship is no different. You’re either actively working on growing it and developing it or you’re not. And if you’re not, then it’s starting to atrophy and it’s starting to die. So there’s always going to be effort involved. However, that effort should be fun. It should be stuff that you want to do. It should make you both happy.

That’s the way it’s supposed to be. Now granted, it’s not going to be all butterflies and rainbows and unicorns all the time. There are going to be times when it’s hard and that effort is going to be somewhat hard. I was having this discussion with a friend recently and I made the comment Hey, look, if you have to process that much in your relationship, you’re simply not in the right relationship. And she didn’t like that. She did not like hearing that. And in her mind, she’s like, Well, no, the relationships are full of processing. And that’s just part of being in a relationship. And I disagreed with her. And I said, you know, one of the things that my relationship with Céline taught me was that that’s simply not true. I had that in a lot of previous relationships, they required a lot of processing. But I realized, it was because they weren’t the right relationships, there were too many values out of alignment, and there were too many boundaries being broken.

There wasn’t, you know, proper commitment from one side or the other. There are all kinds of things that weren’t aligned and weren’t correct. And that’s what led to all of the processing. So when you’re really in a relationship, where you’re aligned, then yeah, you might have a little thing here or there and, you know, requires having a good discussion or working through something or, you know, we all have our little traumas from the past that come up that we need to deal with. But by and large, it doesn’t happen very often. And they’re generally not particularly big. So keep that in mind. If you feel like you have to try too hard. You’re doing something wrong. All right. And the last one on what it doesn’t mean is accepting bad behavior or abuse. So, you know, when you say, Hey, why it’s important for you to make her happy?

What if over there, she’s just being abusive, yelling and screaming bad behavior, all this stuff? And to make her happy? You’re going to have to give in to that bad behavior? No, absolutely not. That is not what we’re talking about here. So I’m hoping that by going over what it doesn’t mean, from the start, we can get all of that sort of off the table. So, anybody that saw that title for the show, and was like, wait, what, No way, man, I disagree with this, I want to hear what he has to say because I had this experience in that. So hopefully, we can just get that out of the way, right from the start. So if it doesn’t mean all of those things, then what does it mean? Well, it means being genuinely concerned for your partner’s happiness. I mean, why wouldn’t you be? Right?

I can’t imagine who would want to be in a relationship with somebody who was unhappy and miserable all the time. I mean, why would you want to do that? Number two, taking actions to support their happiness and well-being, again, in a relationship, you know, the whole point of a relationship is not just about you. If it was just about you, why would you be in a relationship? So because it’s not just about you, you would want to do things to help support your partner and their happiness. It also means realizing that her happiness has a direct impact on yours. So when we say why it’s important for you to make her happy, we’re talking about is, yeah, you should be genuinely concerned for her happiness, you should take actions to support her happiness and well-being and you should realize that doing those things, has a direct impact on your happiness and the overall happiness of the relationship.

So it’s a win-win, right? When you do things to make her happy. That relationship is in a better place.  So that’s, that’s kind of the happy wife happy life, right? When she’s happy. She’s going to do happy nice things in return. Right. Okay. So that’s what it doesn’t mean, and then what it does mean, so then the next question is, okay, I understand what you’re saying. I understand what you’re not saying and what you’re saying. But why is this really important? Okay, great question. Because I have a list of reasons why it’s important. They are in no particular order. They’re just a brainstorming list that I came up with when I was thinking about this topic. Number one, and I kind of mentioned this already. Why would you want to be with somebody who isn’t happy?

I mean, come on. If you have to ask yourself why it’s important for you to make your partner happy. You’re asking the wrong question. Of course, you want your partner to be happy, who wants to be in a relationship with somebody who’s miserable all the time? If they’re unhappy, they’re most likely going to be rubbing that off on you. I’m sure you’ve heard it a million times. Times misery loves company, right? Unhappy people want the people around them to share in their unhappiness. And we don’t want that. Happy people, on the other hand, want their partner to share in their happiness. So if you really want to have a happy relationship, if you want to feel happy, when you walk in the door, when you come home, it’s going to be important that your partner is happy that you walked through the door when you come home.

Number two, happy women give back more than they receive. This is so true. You know this is something I work with guys a lot on. I’ll give you an entrepreneurial example of this too. But, you know, guys, a lot of times they’ll say, Well, you know, why should I do all that stuff for her when she doesn’t really do it for me? And you’ll hear actually women say that about men too. Why should I do all that stuff for him when he doesn’t really do it for me? So it goes both ways. Almost everything I’m talking about here, goes both ways. But the reality is, is that in order to receive, you got to put something in first. But the beauty about putting in the effort first with a woman is that she will return it in multiples. She does. And I’ve said this on the show before and you’ve heard this is like, women will take everything you give them and multiply it right?

You give them sperm, they’ll turn it into a human right? You give them groceries, they’ll turn it into a meal, you give them a house, they’ll turn it into a home, it’s like they multiply stuff. That’s just what they do. And if you give them love and happiness, they will return love and happiness back more than you ever gave. And I know this is true, I have personally experienced it. If she’s truly happy, she will just give it back over and over and over again. So yeah, the more that you strive to make sure that she’s happy in the relationship, the more she’s going to do things that make it a happier relationship to be in. Alright, next, a happy woman is often a horny woman. If you look, if you didn’t like any of the other reasons I just gave you on why it’s important to make her happy guys, you gotta at least appreciate this one. Honestly, I think that the ones before were more important. But you know, we are speaking to the guys here. And sometimes we need to speak to their dicks.

A happy woman is often a horny woman. If she’s happy, she’s going to be far more likely to be attracted to you and want to have sex with you. It’s literally just that simple. So one of the things that I deal with a lot when coaching men is hey, you know, my wife never really wants to have sex, and she’s never in the mood. And she’s always coming up with an excuse, and I can understand why. Okay, well, tell me something about your relationship. Right? And I just start asking a lot of questions. You know, what is it like when you come home? How does she greet you? How do you greet her?

Do you notice when she changes her hair, do you know like, lots of lots of little questions that kind of get to the day-to-day interactions that the two of you have together. And you’ll often find when you do that, that the guy is not as attentive to her as he should be. And that builds resentment. And when that happens, you know, she’s really like, nothing will dry her pussy up faster. Let’s, let’s just put it as bluntly as I can, nothing will dry her pussy up faster. But if you do the opposite. And you notice the little things, and you give her attention and all the things that I’m going to talk about on the list. All of a sudden, you’ll notice that she can’t get enough of you. And she wants more and she wants more and she wants more. So a happy woman is often a horny woman.

That’s just a fact of life. Next harmony in your relationship is important. It is absolutely important. At least it is super important to me and I certainly would hope it’s important to you that your relationship is harmonious. I mean, look this is another one on the list. I’m just going to jump to it right now which is the world is crazy enough that your home life shouldn’t be. So when you come home to your castle guys. Your Castle should be a safe, comfortable, happy, and harmonious place. And let’s be honest also, that while you as a man do have an important role in maintaining that castle, so Oh, does your woman and she has a huge role in making sure that that castle is that beautiful, wonderful place to come home to. So if she’s not happy, do you think the castle is going to be a happy place to return to?

What do you think? I’m going to say? No, it’s probably not going to be. So harmony in your relationship is important. Next on the list, the happier she is, the happier you are going to be. Right? It really is that simple. That’s where the happy wife happy life saving comes from, which is that women often set the pace, they sort of dictate the pace and tone of a relationship. And if they’re happy, there’s a high likelihood that the relationship is going to be a happy one. And as you all know, men when they’re not happy, what happens? Oh, the relationship is not going so well. When she’s not happy, nobody’s happy. And if you have a family, you totally understand this too, right? When she’s happy, the kids are happy, you’re happy, the whole family’s happy, and everything’s great. When she’s not happy.

Everybody’s like, oh, shit, mom, not happy. Right, everyone’s walking around on eggshells trying to figure out what to do. So the happier she is, the happier you will be. Next, studies have actually shown that making others happy adds meaning to your life. This was interesting, you know, I wrote the majority of this show just from my own experience, not only in my own relationships but coaching people. But I always do like to pop onto the internet and just see what other people are saying about a subject to see if there’s an angle or something that maybe I missed, that should be included. And I came across this article that wasn’t specifically talking about relationships, but it was talking about studies that they had done, where they were studying people who were doing things for other people, and the effect that it actually had on the person who was doing it.

And what they came up with was that when people did things for other people, they saw their happiness go up there, like they had a meaning to life when they were trying to do things to make other people’s lives better. And so what better place to start than in your own relationship, right? I mean, wow, how amazing is that? You can do things to make your partner happy, which will in turn make you happy and also add some meaning to your life. Hey, if that list, right there is not enough for you to take seriously the fact that you should be working and doing stuff on a regular basis to make your partner happy, then I don’t know what else to tell you. Because to me, personally, I think that is quite a compelling list of reasons. Okay, so we’ve talked about what it doesn’t mean, we’ve talked about what it does mean, I’ve given you what I think is a pretty compelling list of why it’s important for you to make her happy.

Next, we want to talk about okay, you got me, right, I get it. It’s important. How do I do it? What do I do? I don’t understand, she never seems happy. I don’t know what to do. That’s another thing that I hear a lot from guys. I don’t know what to do. She’s never happy no matter what I do. She’s not happy when I do this. She’s not happy when I do that. Well, I’m gonna give you a list. But before I do that, a quick word from our second sponsor, which is me again. I love having third-party sponsors on the show. And I also love having the opportunity to tell you guys about the work that I’m doing because, you know, yes, buying products from our sponsors helps the show but what really, really helps me continue doing what I’m doing is when you work with me one on one, it’s the coaching work, it’s the buying the online programs, that’s what really keeps this sustainable.

That’s what allows me to keep showing up here and giving the information I do so. Hey, guys, do you know what makes a man great, you know, the kind of masculine man that women are irresistibly attracted to and want Is it money, job title, his physical body, being great in bed, a big penis, great pickup lines or something else? But what if you don’t have those or only have some of them? What if you’ve had a string of failed relationships are embarrassed by your bedroom skills, doubt whether you can rise to the occasion, worry about lasting long enough, or are you always stuck in the friend zone I can help you if you are ready to make big changes and finally become the man you have always wanted to be.

This is the program for you. To find out more, please go to Céline remy.com forward slash go forward slash warrior. The link is in the description that is Célineremy.com/go/warrior, that is my Men’s coaching program, you will learn in that all sorts of amazing things, all of these relationship skills that I teach all of the sexual skills, female anatomy, you know, all the deep sort of skills like how to, you know, last longer, how to have better erections, how to really please a woman from head to toe in the bedroom, I mean, you name it, of course, it’s tailored to you and your needs. And so one of the things that we do in the beginning is we get to know you, we get to know your situation, where are the areas that you’re doing? Well, where are the areas that you’re struggling, and I custom tailor this information, this, this program to meet your needs, so that you can show up as the most powerful man in life, in your relationship in the bedroom and everywhere in between? So that’s Céline remy.com, forward slash go forward slash warrior. All right. Now we get to the most important stuff, which is how do you do this? How do you make your partner happy? Now, of course, there are many, many ways, some of them may be specific to your partner. But I do have quite a good list here of things that pretty much will work in any relationship. All right, number one,

stepping up and fulfilling the masculine role. And I have in parentheses here without being asked. So, you know, as I mentioned earlier in the relationship, right, in every relationship, there’s somebody in the masculine role and somebody in the feminine role. And when you’re coming together in a relationship, that dynamic, that polarity that’s created is essential to a healthy relationship. And so if you really want her to be happy in that relationship, you got to hold up your hand, you’ve got to be holding up the masculine role, you’ve got to hold that masculine energy in the relationship. And you have to do it without her asking you all the time. And that’s really important.

Because, you know, let’s say there’s, there’s something, you know, a job that has been decided, like, this is the part of the masculine role in the relationship. And you know, that it’s because it’s always been like that. But you often don’t get around to doing it. And she has to say, hey, I need you to do blah, blah, blah, whatever it is, oh, yeah, okay, I’ll do another, if she has to constantly remind you to be the masculine in the relationship, then one, you’re not really being the masculine, even if you do that thing later on down the road, so she’s not going to respect you. She’s like, Why do I gotta tell you how to be the masculine, you’re supposed to know this, this is your job, right? So you want to make sure that you are stepping up and fulfilling the masculine role without being asked, you should want to do this, as the masculine, this, this is literally your job.

And I do have to say, you know, there’s a lot of backlash today on masculine and feminine roles. And there’s a lot of backlash on polarity teachings, and all of that kind of stuff. This stuff is tried and true, it is tested throughout history, there needs to be polarity, and there need to be masculine and feminine roles in relationships for them to be successful. And what we’re seeing, unfortunately, in our society is as we break those roles down, and we try to make everybody even and make them the same, our relationships are falling apart, and they’re not working. So you need to make sure that you are stepping up and fulfilling the masculine role. That is your job. Unfortunately, I see too many men today who don’t really want to do that job.

They’re like, I don’t want it. I know that that seems like a lot of work. Like why should I be the one to do it, because that’s your job. And trust me, if you embrace it if you accept it as being part of your job, and you come to love it as being part of your job, you will see your life change in the most amazing ways. I guarantee it. Okay, number two, how what’s another way that we can make her happy? Well, we can create safety for her. And we did an entire episode on this show Selena and I on safety and what that means, and it’s come up a lot. I referenced that show alarms actually, I’m really glad that we did that episode because safety is so important for the feminine, for women, that it comes up all the time on the show. So I’m so glad that I can always reference that and say please go back and listen. to that episode, the safer that she feels in the relationship, the more she’ll be able to relax, the more that she’s able to relax, the more she’ll be able to access her happiness in that relationship.

So creating safety. Next on the list, giving her the connection time and attention she desires. This is one where a lot of guys dropped the ball, a lot of guys dropped the ball. And actually, I will be having an episode coming up where I’m going to have a guest who’s going to talk about this in-depth and give you some really good advice on how to do this. But too many men put far too much attention outside the relationship, whether it’s their job, their hobbies, their guy, friends, or whatever it is, they don’t put enough time and attention into the relationship. That is a big mistake, that is one of the primary things that will cause your relationship to degrade and probably eventually fail. Women need connection, they need face time, connection, time, and attention.

They just do now, some women will need more than others. So you need to kind of figure out how much your woman needs to make her feel fulfilled in that area. But all women need it to some extent. So if you really want to make her happy, you have to give her that time. And think about it. We all live such busy lives. If you’re like the average, you know, man, you probably work Monday through Friday, you know, at least a nine to five, maybe even more than that. And so, and then of course, you know, weekends come and it’s like, oh, I want to go golfing with the buddies or you know, gonna watch the football game or whatever. How much time are you actually putting in, and then you wonder why she’s not happy? She needs time and attention. One thing I will say about Céline Is she required more time and attention than most women that I have been with.

But I didn’t mind because giving her the time and attention was one of my favorite things to do. You know, I’m fortunate enough that the entire time that Céline and I were together, I always worked from home. And so did she. So we got to spend a lot of time together, we were together 24/7 Pretty much. And that was great. But I realized that because she had a large need for time and attention that if I ever did go to a job where I had to be away during the day, the majority of the day I would have to find other ways to meet that need for her. Because I just knew that was a need for her. It’s not bad. It’s not wrong. And like I said, I actually enjoyed it. I loved giving her lots of attention because the more attention I gave her the more attention and love she gave back to me. It really was true.

So it was a win-win. Plus, it was just, it was fun. It never felt like work. All right next on the list, satisfying her completely in the bedroom. Ooh. All right. This is kind of a big one, guys. You have to admit, if you’re not satisfying her in the bedroom, she’s never going to be completely happy. I’m sorry. It’s just true that I guarantee you there’s a bunch of women who will say, Well, you know, it’s not that important to me as long as he’s a good man and he shows up and he does all these other things. That’s fine. They’re lying. They’re lying. Even if sex is not all that important to them, it’s still important to them, and even if they are in their own minds being truthful when they say that it’s not that important. It really is. I can guarantee you that if you really satisfy a woman in the bedroom, I mean make her scream and cum harder than she has ever come in her life.

To the point where she looks at you like you’re a god or an alien from another planet because what in the world did you just do to me? Trust me, if you can reach that level. She is going to bond to you, attach to you, love you, want you, crave you, and desire you like nothing else in this world. Trust me. You will see the look in her eye and when you see it in her eye, you will know you will absolutely know. Unfortunately, a lot of guys don’t really have the skills to take her there to take her to those places. And if you don’t know then I strongly suggest that you learn them. The very first ad at the beginning of this show was for power mastery.com, you can learn a lot about how to do that there. And the second ad was working with me, you can learn a lot, just by doing one on one coaching with me to figure out how you can do that.

But believe me, when you can take a woman to literally altered states of consciousness through her orgasm, and make her body do things that she didn’t even know her body could do, she is going to be one happy woman, trust me. And you can do it, it’s absolutely possible. And I’m telling you, I, I have had women say, I didn’t even know my body could do that. So you are literally showing them that their bodies can do things that they’re not even aware of sometimes. So it’s a beautiful, amazing place to be when you can come together as a couple and experience that it goes a very, very long way in making her happy. It’s not the only thing though, because if you don’t do any of these other things, that’ll last for a while. She’ll be willing to stick with you for a while. But eventually, those other things will get in the way. And she’d be like, You know what, I’m sure there’s somebody else that can make me come that hard because I’m not willing to put up with the rest of this bullshit. But it is an important part of the mix.

Alright, next, taking interest in and supporting her interests and goals. This is really super important. And I don’t understand why more guys don’t do this. You should be interested in the things that she’s interested in. Even if you’re not, you know, if you’re let’s say you’re into cars, and you know, a lot of women are not in the car. Some are but most aren’t. And you are all excited about this new car you bought into this new modification you did or go into the car show or something like that. And you want to talk to her about it. And you want her to listen and be interested in ask you relevant questions. Well, she wants the same thing. Right. And I’ve told the story on the show before, Céline was really into knitting She loved to make things. And you know, I’m not into knitting, I really couldn’t care less.

I mean, I loved the things that she made for me, but actually doing it myself, I had no interest in it. But I loved the fact that she was so into it. And so I would ask her questions like, hey, how do you do this? Like, I see you did a different pattern on this one, like, how did that work? And then she’d have all these different tools and things like anybody, anybody that knows anything about knitting knows, there’s, you know, all these little devices, you know, little markers to count and mark places and different kinds of needles for different things and all this different stuff. And I would just ask her questions, because I was curious, like, Hey, what is that kind of needle for? Why is that different than the other one? You know, how does that enable you to do something other than what you were doing before, and just taking interest. And that’s just one example. But you really need to take interest in the things that she’s interested in, and then support her in her interests and goals.

So what can you do to help her? I mean, in the case of knitting, I would buy her stuff to make her knitting easier. Like, oh, you know, if I had this device, it would make my life so much easier, like, you know, a yarn Winder or something like that, you know, I would buy or these things and say, yeah, like, here you go, this should make your life easier and make your knitting experience more enjoyable, or know maybe her interests or something else. And maybe what she needs is time to take a class or something like that. And you’re like, Okay, I’ll agree to watch the kids while you go and take that class once or twice a week, or whatever it is. take interest in the things that she is interested in, and then do your best to support her. You would want the same from her or wouldn’t you? All right, next on the list, keeping your word, this is another really big one. If you don’t keep your word, I guarantee you are not going to have a happy woman. Nothing will make a woman unhappy faster than you not keeping your word.

So you really want to make sure that you are doing that. And I’ve talked about this many, many times on the show a lot of guys say Oh, of course, I keep my word. Well, yeah, I know. I said I’d do that little thing. And I didn’t get around to it. But that was a small thing. It’s not really important on all the big things though. Yeah, I keep my word on the big things. No, you need to keep your word on all of the things, the big things and the small things. And if you say that you will do something and it’s a small thing and you didn’t do it, then you have to own up to it take responsibility, and say, You know what, I apologize. I said I would do that thing and I didn’t do it. I will make sure I do it at this time or you know, whatever it is. And if you don’t think you can do the thing that you say you’re going to do simply don’t say it gently don’t say it. He will respect you more if you say, You know what, I don’t have the bandwidth for that right now, and I can’t do it. But when I do have the bandwidth for it, I’ll let you know.

And I’ll commit to doing it. Now obviously, if you say that all the time, she’s gonna start to lose trust in you, because she’s like, Hey, every time I asked you for something, you’re like, I don’t have the bandwidth to do it. So be careful with that. You don’t want to always be saying, well, nope, can’t do it. Nope, can’t do it. Nope, can’t do it. But in general, if you know that, it’s going to be difficult, or you think there’s a significant chance that you’re not going to be able to do it, didn’t it? Just don’t commit to it? All right, next on the list, creating trust. We did an entire episode on trust, what trust really is, and again, why it’s important, and how do you cultivate trust in a relationship. And then what do you do if the trust has been broken? How can you get it back? Right? That is another excellent, excellent show that you really should listen to. Because trust is so so important in any relationship.

So creating trust is really going to make her happy. It’s very similar to safety, right? The second one on the list was creating safety. And when she felt safe, she could relax. And when she could relax, she could access her happiness and her horniness? Well, same thing here. If she trusts you, like really trust you, like knows, she can count on you, no matter what she’ll be able to relax, she’ll be able to let go, she’ll be able to focus on the things that make her happy. Really important to create trust. Next, being 100% fully committed to the relationship, is another really, really big one, if you want her to be really happy in the relationship, she needs to feel that you’re really 100% completely in, this is super important. I just recorded a YouTube video on this topic, it hasn’t been published yet, although it probably will be by the time this episode airs. So look for it.

But it’s really about why it’s so important to be 100% fully committed in your relationship. And if you do that, again, she’s going to feel safe, she’s going to trust you, she’s going to be able to relax, and she’s going to be able to really be able to access that happiness. You know, if you think about it, some of these things that we’re talking about, really relate to Maslow’s hierarchy of needs, right? It’s not that different, right? If you’re not familiar, go look it up. I mean, we all learned it in grade school, so you should be familiar with it. But you know, Maslow created this hierarchy of needs, and it’s like, you can’t go to the next level until the level before it is met. So when you’re talking about like, your basic, you know, ground level of Maslow’s hierarchy, it’s like, we need to make sure that we have food and shelter and like basic things to live, right, that’s the kind of need number one, and you can’t go to the higher level needs until those lower level needs are met. A lot of this is the same thing.

You know, it’s a, it’s a lower level need. And by lower, I don’t mean less than, in fact, it’s probably a bit more important than some of the others but you know, the safety and the trust and the being committed to the relationship, all of those things are basic ground level needs that she has, and she’s never really going to be truly happy in a relationship if those needs aren’t met. So those are really important. Next, tell her that she’s beautiful, man, I can’t, I can’t imagine. I could, I can’t imagine because I see it all the time. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve seen men say things like, well, she knows that I think she’s beautiful. I told her like I don’t know the other day. And then you ask her. When was the last time he actually told you? You are beautiful. She’s like, I don’t even remember. Like I know that he thinks I’m beautiful. But you know, I haven’t heard it in a really long time.

For us as guys. We’re like, oh, yeah, I just told her the other day, that was six months ago, dudes, women want to hear this on a regular basis. This is probably the simplest thing on the list. Simply when you look over at her and there these times happen. I guarantee you that these times happen. Otherwise, why are you in a relationship with this person, there are absolutely times when you just look at her and you see something, whether it’s the way she did her hair or the outfit she’s wearing or you know, a look in her eye or the way she looks back at you or the way the light shines on her face that day. That just you look at her and you go, she’s beautiful. In whatever way it doesn’t necessarily have to mean model looks. There are many ways that somebody can be beautiful to you.

But when you see those things, think to yourself, I should say that I should actually voice what I’m thinking in my head and that’s the thing is, a lot of guys think it they just don’t voice it. So what you really want to do is you want to make sure that you’ve always said on a regular basis, women want to hear it, and it will light them up, light them up by doing something so simple, like simply recognizing how beautiful her eyes look when the sun shines on them in just the right way. And that is very similar to the next one on the list to tell her regularly that you love her and why? Oh, she knows I love her. We’ve been together 25 years, she knows, it doesn’t matter if she knows she wants to hear it. So if you want to make her happy, tell her frequently that you love her. She literally wants to just like when you tell her that she’s beautiful, she will light up when you tell her that.

And it really helps again in parentheses. And why tell her why this is very similar to the appreciation game that Selena and I used to play, where on most days, she would either ask for or I would volunteer three reasons why I love her or appreciate her. Right? So tell her why don’t say oh yeah, I love you. Which is fine. That’s better than not saying it at all. But you could say, I love you You are so like, let’s say you’re doing something where she just did something that was really smart. You could say I really love you, that was brilliant that you were that was so smart, the way you handled that and came up with that. I love that about you. Right.

Many other examples. Next, notice when she changes her hair or has a new outfit, does her makeup differently, or something like that. These are the simplest, easiest things that you can do to make her happy. When you do that, it doesn’t really have anything like if you say hey, I noticed that you did your hair in a different style today. It doesn’t light her up because she’s like, Oh, he likes my hairstyle. It lights her up. Because she goes, he’s paying attention to me, he noticed that. And he wouldn’t have noticed that if he wasn’t paying attention. So that’s why it’s important to her because it shows her that you are paying attention. So if you do that, she is going to be happy. Next on the list, communicate, communicate, communicate, we have done multiple shows on the importance of communication. And as Céline used to say all the time, communication is lubrication.

Yes, that is a patented Celine, I don’t know if she made it up. But I’ve never heard anybody else really mention it much. And something used to say it all the time. Really, there’s nothing new under the sun as they say. So I’m sure other people use it as well. But I’m going to give credit to it to Céline. Because she used to use it frequently. Communication is lubrication. If you communicate with her a lot, she is really going to appreciate it and that’s going to make her happy, she will understand what’s going on with you what’s going on with the relationship where everything’s at, and she’s going to be definitely happier. Next on the list, give her the kind of touch that she likes to receive.

That’s another way, you know, without her having to ask, you know, just give her a shoulder massage or just, you know, maybe brush her hair with your hands or, you know, just put your arm around her hold her tight on the couch, whatever it is, give her the kind of touch that she likes to receive. And lastly, on the list, this is an interesting one. This is one I actually saw while researching on the Internet, which was taking care of yourself. And what do we mean by that? Well, if you take care of yourself by making sure that you eat well, and you exercise and you’re taking good care of your body, and you’re managing your stress levels, if you do all of that, you’re going to show up to the relationship as a much better version of yourself. And if you do that you show up as a better version of yourself. She’s going to appreciate that, right?

A great relationship means that you inspire each other to be the best version of yourself that you can be. So when you show up as your best self, it’s going to inspire her to show up as her best self. And when you’re both doing that you’re going to have harmony and flow and grace and love and all of that stuff that comes along with that. Whereas if you don’t take care of yourself and you know you’re not showing up as the best person in the relationship, right? You know, you’re not managing your stress levels at work. And so you’re coming home and you’re being grumpy and you’re taking it out on her. That’s not going to make her happy. It’s just not right so really give that some thought for a moment like oh wow, I never really considered taking care of myself. It helps me show up better in the relationship, which thereby makes her happier. And when she’s happier, she shows up better. Women get this, women totally get this. It’s the men that often don’t get this one.

Women will say all the time that I need self-care time. And they’ll hire a nanny, so that they can go to the spa, right? Or take a bath, or, you know, play with their hair, like whatever it is, they need to do go shopping, like women totally get, they need to take care of themselves so that they can show up for their family and for their kids and for their husband, men often let that one slip. And that’s why it’s really important to put it on this list, man, you got to take care of yourself. So you can show up as the best version of yourself. All right. So obviously, there are way more things we could add. But that’s a pretty darn good start to how to make her happy. If you could master that list of things right there, you will see a woman show up in the relationship that is just glowing, beaming, and happy. And when she does that, you are going to see a relationship that is spectacular and happy. All right, there you go. That is why it’s important to make her happy, and more importantly, how to do it. These are master relationship skills that everybody should know, if you do you’re going to have a much better relationship. So I hope that that was helpful. You know, go back if you need to listen to it again, and figure out how to incorporate these things into your life and your relationship. All right, everybody. That’s all I have for this episode. And I will see you next week.

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Céline Remy 51:55
And for more free exclusive content. Join us in the passion vault at Célineremy.com/vault. That’s c e l i n e r e m y.com/vault.

Kevin Anthony 52:09
Thanks for listening.

Céline Remy 52:11
And remember, you’re amazing!