This Is What Sex Could Be. Are You Missing Out?

Kevin Anthony 0:11
Welcome to the Love Lab podcast a safe place to get real about sex. Whether you’re a man or woman single or a couple, this is the show for you.

Céline Remy 0:20
We are your hosts, Kevin Anthony and Céline Remy, and we are here to guide you to go from good to amazing in the bedroom and beyond.

Kevin Anthony 0:28
All right, welcome back to the Love Lab podcast. This is episode 257. And it is titled, this is what six could be? Are you missing out? Okay? We need to have a conversation here. This is something that comes up fairly regularly. And it has come up many times over the years. And we really need to have a discussion about it. So what are we going to be talking about? What do I mean, by the title of this episode? Well, one of the things that comes up fairly regularly is, you know, when I talk about, you know, my own sex life and the sex life that Céline and I experienced and, even with other people before Céline, and I were together, sometimes people, they give you the look like you know, the deer in headlights like they can’t comprehend. And they don’t understand what it is you’re even saying to them. And what you realize is you not everybody is having great sex, not everybody’s having the kind of sex that is really possible as far as the realm, the spectrum of what you can actually do when two bodies come together. And, you know, it ends up sort of being this thing of you don’t know what you don’t know.

So if you’ve never experienced the type of sex we’re going to talk about later in this show, then you don’t even know like, your spectrum is this big. And this is all you think is possible because you’ve never experienced anything outside of that spectrum. And so you don’t realize that the spectrum is really a lot bigger than that. And you could be experiencing so much more, if you were made aware of it, and you took some time to practice it. So that’s what we’re going to be talking about, we’re going to cover what this is, a lot of this is coming from my own personal experience, right as a coach. So what does the average person’s sex life look like? And then what does you know, say a person who comes in or a couple who comes in that has a good sex life? What does that look like? And then what’s possible, even beyond what most people think, is good sex? And then lastly, okay, now that we know what’s possible, like, how do we do it? How do we get there? How do we have that kind of sex? So that’s what we’re going to be covering in this episode. I think that it will be very interesting, especially if, if you’re having the kind of sex that most people have, I think you will really, really, really, really want to listen to this episode.

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All right. So I started to say at the beginning of this episode, a lot of times, you just don’t know what you don’t know. And you’ve probably heard that expression before. But what does that mean? Well, what it means is, you’re not even aware that you don’t know something, right? So you don’t know that you don’t know it. Because there’s things like you’re like, Okay, I know this, and I know I don’t know that and then there’s a bunch of If you’re like, I don’t even know that I don’t know that, well, obviously, you’re not consciously thinking that but other people are going wow, they don’t even know that they don’t know that the people who actually do know it. So when we’re talking about what sex could be, a lot of times, people really just don’t know what they don’t know. And so part of my job when coaching them is to expand their awareness, and get them to see that there’s a whole nother level, a whole nother world of possibilities in the realm of sexuality, that they may not be aware of it all, and may have never experienced at any time in their life. That can be huge that I mean, sometimes, if you can get somebody to be open to it, they’re like, Okay, I’m open to it. If you can get them to actually experience it, it blows their freakin minds. It just does. Especially if they’ve never experienced it before.

And look, you know, I wasn’t born knowing how to do this, I didn’t have this kind of sex from the first time I started having sex, nobody did. It’s something that we learn. It’s something that we practice over time. But I can tell you that the first time I really had one of those experiences, it did blow my mind. And I was like, holy cow. Now I had read about it in books because I was trying to create that experience. But I hadn’t really gotten there. And I remember I don’t remember the exact moment. But I remember the period of time, I remember the partner I was with, I remember how our sex life evolved at that time in my life. And I remember thinking, wow, I had no idea this, like, yeah, I read about it. But even when I was reading about it, I was like, Alright, maybe this just sounds like some esoteric teaching that you aspire to, but never get there until you get there. And then you’re like, holy cow, that just blew my mind. So I’ve had that experience. So I know that it’s possible. So I kind of alluded to this already, at the beginning of the show, but I tend to see two types of clients when I’m working with them.

The first type, they just want to get back to normal sex life. In other words, you know, they’re experiencing premature ejaculation or some other you know, sexual dysfunction. Maybe it’s erectile dysfunction. Maybe she doesn’t achieve wetness. And she’s not enjoying sex, or she can’t have orgasms. Or maybe she has clitoral orgasms, but not other types of like, usually, that type of client, they just want to get to that place of like, can we just have decent normal person sex because something’s not working, right? So that’s the first type of client. And if I can help them get to a place where they have a normal, good sex life. They’re blown away. They think it’s amazing. And it is amazing from where they came from. But I always want those clients to know once they get there, that that’s not the end of the journey, that if they so choose, they could take it even further. And that’s one of the things we’re going to talk about today. The other type of client is the type of client where they already have a pretty decent sex life. But they know that there’s something more out there.

So these are the clients that usually come to you going. Hey, I’ve heard about this Tantra thing. I want to know more about this Tantra thing. We all kind of chuckle sometimes when we hear people say that, because it’s Tantra, not Tantra, not to make fun of anybody, but it’s sort of like in the tantra world it’s just one of those things that people laugh about tantra, Tantra. A little aside on that one, but those are the people that come in and they’re like, hey, look, we have good sex, we’re enjoying our sex life together. But we believe there could be more. Or we’ve had moments where we experience something more. We don’t really know what it is. But we want to know more. And we want to see how much further we can take it. So those are usually the two types of clients that I work with. And, you know, I love working with either of them if I can help a person or a couple go from bad sex to good, decent, proper sex. That’s amazing. That’s life-changing for them already. But I also love taking somebody it’s like yeah, our sex life is pretty good. And then taking them to a realm that just blows their mind. That’s amazing too.

So yeah, those are, you know, again, a lot of times people don’t know what they don’t know. But if you can get them open to the possibility, then you can either at least get them to normal, good sex or help them go to step further. So there are a lot of teachings out there that talk about this type of sex that I’m referring to. So you got David Deita, and he wrote something called the Enlightened Sex manual. So he’s talking about what he calls enlightened sex. You’ve got Osho, who talked about taking, you know, the subtitle of his book was from sex to super consciousness. And so he talks a lot about how you can use sex to go to this sort of super-conscious level. You’ve got Taoist teachings, there are tons of Taoist teachings out there to take sex to that higher level lot of energy practices in the Taoist teachings, and tantra as well. A lot of times people confuse Tantra and Taoism. There’s a lot of overlap there, but they are technically two different things. And but the tantra teachings themselves are all about taking you to that next level, again, a lot of moving energy, a lot of techniques to enhance the sensations in the pleasure and, and, you know, go to other levels.

So you know, what I’m going to talk about today isn’t something that I made up that you think probably doesn’t exist, there are lots of teachers out there, this stuff has existed for 1000s of years, literally 1000s of years. But in today’s modern society, it’s largely been lost. It’s been lost to quickies and mechanical, sex and premature ejaculation and erectile dysfunction, and all the other things that get in the way in our modern lifestyle such as stress. So but I do want you to know that it is absolutely possible. Okay. So then the next question is like, I need to sort of set the scene, right, so I’m going to talk about what the average person’s sex life look like? Because once I lay that groundwork, and then we talk about what a good sex life looks like, then you’ll have a foundation for understanding kind of what I’m talking about when I say this sort of next-level sex.

So first, what does the average person’s sex life look like now? Okay, I do coaching work around sex, love, and relationships, I talk to a lot of people about sex, not just in coaching work. But through YouTube comments and through emails I get from people through just talking with my own friends, I have a lot of conversations about sex. I’m speaking with peers regularly. I’ve been doing more collaborations with other people in the space. I have a lot of conversations about sex every single day, a lot of conversations about sex, I think you get that now. So when I describe this, I’m going to describe this based on my experience with a lot of the conversations I’ve had with people about where I think the average person’s sex life is, Okay, here goes. So first, it tends to be pretty routine, meaning they kind of do the same thing all the time. They get in their little sort of routine of we have sex, you know, once a week, for every other week, it lasts about the same amount of time, they kind of do the same things. I know that she likes this move. And if I just do that, you know, she seems to enjoy it. And she thinks well, if I just make sure he ejaculates at the end, he’s happy. Like, it just gets sort of routine. It’s almost like going through the motions.

So that’s something I see and hear a lot. It’s like this going through the motions. Next, there tends to be little foreplay. Actually, I was thinking about this as I was writing this episode, I was having a conversation one time with a male friend. And I mentioned to him that I happened to have had sex with a woman the night before. And so he was all interested in this and he was asking me a bunch of questions about it. And one of the questions he asked me it’s like, so, so did you like enter really slowly? Or did you just punch right in there? And the nature of the question itself was ludicrous to me. I’m like, what punch right in there? What the fuck is that? So I turned and said, you will always enter slowly. You always enter a woman gently and slowly. You never just punch right in there, but what that got me thinking of why it popped up when I was writing this list, and I thought about little foreplay was a lot of men sort of approach sex that way. If they do any foreplay at all, you know, they’ll touch her a little bit with their hand, or they might go down on her for a couple of minutes and you know, their finger, alright, that’s good enough, and then they just want to punch right in there. We’ll talk about what to do instead of that, and why you shouldn’t do that later.

But that’s kind of the second thing is that there tends to not be a whole lot of foreplay, and they just want to kind of just go straight for the penetration. Next on the list is penetration, when they do go straight for the penetration, the sex usually only lasts two to maybe 10 minutes. Now, you’ve heard me say this, health lists times on this show, you’ve heard me say that they’ve done two major studies on how long men last one study said three to five minutes. The other study said five to seven minutes. Those same studies also said that it takes a woman on average 20 to 30 minutes to have an orgasm. So there’s a big disparity there. We also know that the clinical definition of premature ejaculation is a jack elating and under a minute. And you probably also remember that Céline and I, had a different definition of premature ejaculation. And our definition is ejaculating anytime before when you want to. So let’s say you want it to last you an hour, but you ejaculated after 45 minutes, we would say that would be a premature ejaculation because it was before you want it to. But think about that. If premature ejaculation is less than a minute, and the average man is anywhere between three and seven minutes long. That is very short. That is very short, especially when it takes the average woman 20 to 30 minutes.

And if you couple that with the fact that there tends to be little foreplay, and a lot of these guys just want to punch right in there. You realize that it’s not nearly enough to get her anywhere near satisfaction, and she’s probably not really going to enjoy the sex very much. We’ll talk about that in just a minute. The next thing on the list of what most people’s sex usually looks like is here ejaculates every time and usually in less than 10 minutes. That one’s pretty much self-explanatory. Although I will add this to that, which is that a lot of times guys think that every time you have sex, you have to ejaculate. And that’s just simply not true. And it’s not necessary. One of the reasons they think that is because they don’t have the kind of sex we’re going to talk about at the end towards the end of this show this like amazing, you know, other dimensional sex. Because if they have experienced that, they would then realize that ejaculation isn’t necessary, but we’ll talk more about that later on. Alright, next, she may or may not have an orgasm.

And often the orgasms that she does have are not from penetration because the penetration only lasts two to seven-ish minutes or so. So if she does have one, it’s usually because he used his hands on her or vibrator or, you know, maybe his mouth actually tends to often it for people who have this kind of sex, it tends often to be a vibrator because, you know, they do the routine thing. There’s only a little bit of foreplay, the penetration is over quick. She’s not satisfied. So she’s like, give me the vibrator. I don’t blame her for that. She wants to have some sexual satisfaction and in this situation, that’s often the only way she can do it. Next, they go to sleep or move on with the day. So the ejaculation happens. You know, maybe she gets the vibrator for a few minutes until she has an orgasm. And then it’s like okay, off to sleep or get on with the day and move along. So the orgasm is the end of sex, which is not necessarily always true. So that’s something else we can talk about. Next, he feels satisfied because ejaculated, okay. However, she probably doesn’t feel satisfied. Maybe she got the vibrator or, you know, you gave her an orgasm another way she might feel satisfied. But with this type of sex, she is often left feeling kind of so-so about sex in general, because she’s like, Hey, yeah, I could take it or leave it. That’s something that I hear a lot from the women. She’s like, Well, yeah, you know, I was I could take it or leave it like sometimes it’s okay. Whatever. I will, I will say this.

sex drive does vary in people, for sure. And sex drive is largely driven by our hormones. However, let’s just assume that everybody’s hormones are normal, there’s no wacky stuff going on with our hormones, then we should have a healthy sex drive, we should want sex, and we shouldn’t feel so so about it. And that’s just the truth, if you are feeling so so about it, it means one of two main things, you’re not getting the kind of sex that you want so the sex that you’re having is not satisfying to you, which is not leaving you wanting more. Or you’ve got some sort of, you know, health challenge biological issue where your hormones are messed up. And therefore you tend to have low libido. By the way, it’s from a coaching standpoint, I can help you with both of those things. I am not a doctor, but I can give you general health and hormone advice and point you to some really good resources of people who are doctors who specialize in this and can help you get your hormones on track if that’s the case.

And then, of course, the, the not having the kind of sex that you want that piece is really my job. That’s what I do, I will teach you all the things that you need, in order to have the kind of sex that leaves you wanting more and more and more and really supercharges your sex drive. So that is a summary of what most people’s sex is like. Honestly, it’s a little sad, when I hear people describe their sex lives like this, I just all I want to do is like, Please, let me help you. It’s interesting as a coach to write because your friends tend to do one of two things when they know you’re a coach, and anybody that’s out there, that’s a coach, you know, this is true because you’ve heard it, it doesn’t matter what area you’re coaching in, if you’re a coach, your friends fall into generally two categories. You have friends who don’t want to ask you for advice because they know that this is what you do all day long. So they have, you know, questions, there are things that they want to know, but they don’t want to bother you with it.

Because it’s like, this is what you do all day long. I don’t want you to have to be working when we’re hanging out in the evening. Then you have the friends that fall into the other category, which are constantly asking you for advice, all that. So honestly, I love what I do. I love doing this coaching work, and I don’t mind either one. In other words, okay, if you don’t want to ask me, that’s fine. You don’t have to, but I’m happy to give you advice. If you want, all you have to do is ask. And then for the people that ask all the time, obviously, if you’re taking up a ton of my time, I’m not going to sit here and give you hours and hours worth of you know, free coaching when we’re supposed to just be hanging out and being friends. But I am happy to help you and give you advice and point you in the right direction. So when I hear people describe their sex to me like this, regardless of what camp they fall into, I’m like, please let me help you. Please, nobody should have to suffer from this kind of sex. Please let me help you. Let me at least give you some advice. I mean, point you in the right direction. Let me at least give you some books to read that will help. Okay.

And then let’s talk now a little bit about what sort of normal good sex is so, so I just described to you what I hear. Most people describe their sex life, but I do hear people tell me that they have good sex, and I hear stories about good sex. And so I’m gonna give you kind of a little step-by-step summary of what I hear when people tell me they have good sex from sort of the normal idea of good sex. So unlike being routine, they tend to mix it up. So they will try new things, do different positions move around. I was talking, I can’t remember who was talking to somebody recently. And they described sex. And it was like, they mentioned that they had sex in more than one position. Like it was some crazy thing that they did one day and I was like, but don’t you have sex in more than one position? Every time you have sex, like that’s just normal. We never stay in one position. And Celine and I would do 2, 3, 4, 5 and then loop through them a couple of times throughout a longer lovemaking session. So I was like, What do you mean? You did two positions and you thought that was amazing. So anyway, and the good sex side, they mix it up a little bit. They do more than one position.

There tends to be some decent foreplay in both directions. So they focus a little bit on each other’s pleasure in both directions. So you know, he gives to her she gives to him, sometimes it’s simultaneous, they tend to do the things that they know that their partner likes. Whereas sometimes in the other version, the first version of sex that I described, people tend to do more of what they like, because they’re focused more on their own pleasure. So that tends to be some good foreplay, the penetration will last at least 15 minutes or more. So a lot of times, you know, when I hear people talking about Yeah, it was really good. And, and I actually had an orgasm and blah, blah, know how long they last, you know, and they’ll tell you how long sex lasted, which, you know, probably 20 minutes, 30 minutes total. That’s foreplay everything in total. And they’re like, Wow, that was amazing. The penetration of it was probably only, you know, 10 to 15 minutes or so. But, that’s significantly longer than the average. So a lot of people think that’s great. He still ejaculates every time that’s kind of a given. In anybody having you know, sex other than, you know, this multi-dimensional sex that we’re going to talk about in a little bit.

She generally has an orgasm, sometimes from penetration, sometimes from oral or hands, probably not from all of them, although sometimes, yes. But she’s generally satisfied, they’re both generally satisfied. And they both generally have satisfying orgasms. And the sex is good enough that they both want to have sex on a regular basis. So all of that sounds great. No problems with that at all. If everybody could at least reach that level, the world would be a better place, trust me, the world would be a better place, if everybody was at least having that level of sex. That is a good baseline. So I talked earlier about the couples that come to me, and just want to get to that level, right? So they’re, they’re either in that first level of the average, you know, sex, what most people’s sex looks like, or worse, maybe. And they just want to get to this level. Awesome. Okay, great. But what if sex could be better than that? What if sex could be more than that? And that is what we’re going to talk about in just a moment.

But before we do, a short word from our sponsor, Hey, guys, you know, what makes a man great, you know, the kind of masculine man that women are irresistibly attracted to? And what is it money, job title, his physical body, is it because he’s great in bed has a big penis, or uses great pickup lines. But what if you don’t have those or only some of them? What if you’ve had a string of failed relationships are embarrassed by your bedroom skills, doubt whether you can rise to the occasion, worry about lasting long enough, or are always stuck in the friend zone, then I can help you if you are ready to make big changes and finally become the man you have always wanted to be, then this is the program for you. To find out more, please go to KevinandCéline.com/go/warrior. That is KevinandCéline.com/go/warrior. So you know that ad is really geared towards getting people from the sex that most people have into the good sex round, but it doesn’t end there. It doesn’t end there at all. If we can get you there quickly, we can move on to the other stuff, or if you’re already in the AI have good sex, but you really want to step up your game and get to the next level. Okay, I can help you with that as well. So KevinandCéline.com/go/warrior. The link is in the description. All right. So I’ve been sort of teasing and alluding to this other kind of sex this other level of sex that you could potentially be having.

And I’ve got a list of things here to help describe it. So yeah, Céline and I, we had a term and honestly, I wish I remembered it. Exactly. I don’t it was something that we coined early on in our relationship many years ago, but it was something along the lines of super amazing. Now what was it super something multi-dimensional Fucking amazing sex? Something like that? I don’t remember For the exact title, but you get the idea just from hearing that it was a long title to attempt to describe a, type of sex that just is sort of like out of this world as to what it was it was out of this world, multi-dimensional Fucking amazing sex. I believe that was it. I might have messed up the order of that. But you get the idea. So, what is that like like it? Because those are a bunch of words. But what does that really mean?

Well, so on my list here, I have, it’s exciting every time. Every time you go to have sex, no matter how many times you’ve had sex with this person before. You’re excited about it, you are instantly turned on. And one of the things that they used to say about me all the time, is she said, it’s amazing. She’s like, you just I just say that I want to have sex and you instantly have interaction. Like, Yeah, cuz one, you’re beautiful, and you’re hot. But two, because our sex is amazing. The moment I think about sex with you, I’m instantly turned on and have interaction. And the same thing happens for women, too, when they think about having sex with you, they should instantly start getting wet. You know, this is actually something I know Céline would talk about this if she were here.

So I’m not worried about telling you something that she wouldn’t want me to talk about, you know, she was an open book about her sexuality. But in prior relationships, before we were together, she had this idea in her mind that she just didn’t lubricate properly. And I’ve heard this from a lot of women, I just I don’t really get very wet that I think there’s something wrong. I don’t know, my doctor said he couldn’t find anything but. And then when we got together, not only did she lubricate, but like, like, it would drip out. Before we even had penetration. And, you know, at the beginning of a relationship, it’s like, okay, you’re super turned on. So maybe that’s it. But once you’ve been together for a while, everything is going to change. And that’s not going to happen anymore. But it stayed like that, in all the years that we were together, it stayed like that. She always, you know, by the time I touched her she was already wet, always. And it was always very wet. And usually then got even wetter.

Well, the point of telling you that story is that there was nothing wrong with her. It was all about the kind of sex that she was having with her previous partners. That wasn’t what she really wanted, or really needed, and wasn’t what really got her excited and turned on, even though she thought it was good sex at the time. But again, it’s you don’t know what you don’t know. Right? So the sex should be exciting every time and it should, you should have an erection every time you think about it, even if it’s 10 years into the relationship. And you’re like, Man, those jeans look hot on you. Like let’s fuck and you have an erection. And, you know, she should look at you. I don’t know, in the backyard cutting wood to build the chicken coop in the back with no shirt on and she should literally be wetting her panties like that and that happens not just from the physical attraction of He’s so hot. She’s so hot. But it happens because when you think about what your sexual encounters are, like, you start to feel those feelings and remember that super fucking amazing multi-dimensional out-of-this-world sex.

Okay, next, both partners experience multiple orgasms. And yes, guys, it is possible for you to have multiple orgasms. Go read the book, the multi orgasmic man by Montauk Chia, if you have any doubts about that, I can tell you from my own personal experience, it is absolutely possible. So and of course, we know women can have multiple orgasms if you’re if you’ve even halfway decent in bed, you’ve at least given her more than one whether it was through you know, your hands, your mouth, and then eventually your cock whatever, you know, women can have endless orgasms. But when you’re having this kind of sex, you will go through waves sets next one on waves ranging from screaming orgasms to altered states of stillness. So you’ll have these massive waves of orgasmic energy that moves through you and you might even have a big orgasm. And then you know, you might, the energy might sink down and you’ll just be in this like, state of like altered consciousness. And then you might come through another wave of big, you know, screaming orgasms.

And you just go through the, though it’s literally like surfing the energetic orgasmic waves of bliss throughout this whole session. Next on the list, there are puddles of fluids everywhere. Yeah, and this is kind of what I was talking about just a moment ago with Céline is that when she really was having the kind of sex that she really always wanted, and always knew was possible. There were fluids coming out everywhere, from just, you know, massive lubrication to full-on gigantic female ejaculation. So that’s definitely something that will happen when you have this kind of sex. Next, you are out of your head and transported to another realm. You’re one of the biggest things that gets in the way of people having great sex is they’re all stuck in their heads. They’re either thinking about work, or the kids or whatever stressful thing is happening in their life. Or they’re caught up in their minds about performance. This is a big one for guys, they’re like, I hope I can last long enough, I hope she thinks this is good. And all this, you know, performance anxiety, stuff that gets in the head.

For women, it tends to be more task-oriented stuff that gets in the head. But getting like being stuck in what we call the mind or the monkey mind, will really prevent you from reaching this level of sex, it just gets in the way just because you really have to let go of all that stuff. And you have to just completely open up and just really, we’ll talk about how to get there a little bit more later. But with this kind of sex, you aren’t in your head anymore, you and you literally go to other realms, like you can’t even necessarily describe where you’ve been or what you felt. But you know, you’ve been there. And you know, you you’ll do things like, wow, I really need to get up and pee after that. But I don’t think I can even walk across the room, I’m so dizzy. Or, you know, you’ll get up and you know, you’ll you won’t be able to find your shirt even though it’s right there next to you because you’re just you’re in an altered state of consciousness. Right. So that is a sign that you had this, this kind of sex.

The next one on the list I kind of already described. But you’re I wrote, you’re so blown out from intense orgasms, that you can’t even walk to the bathroom afterwards. And this seriously happens. And this happens to Céline and I both many, many times, we rode so many waves of orgasmic bliss up and down for such a long period of time that you’re laying there and you’re dizzy, you’re high, you feel like you’ve taken drugs, but you haven’t taken any actual drugs, you’ve just created the natural chemicals in your own body that have given you this. And literally, sometimes you try to get up and walk across the room and you cannot even walk straight, you’re like trying to grab onto the wall to hold yourself. Because you’re just in that altered of a state from nothing other than just the high of lovemaking. Next time and space disappear.

This is an interesting one. Because a lot of times this is hard for women to do. Even Céline is amazing as she was sometimes we’d have a difficult time letting go of time, meaning she was conscious of how long we’d be making love and she’d be thinking it’s getting late or we have to go here we have to do this thing or whatever. Whereas for me, I’ve always been like, I don’t care. I don’t care what time it is, time doesn’t exist once we decided we’re making love, time does not exist. So time and space disappear. You’re not paying attention to anything else other than the act of lovemaking with your partner. So you’re focusing on yourself, you’re focusing on her and the act that’s occurring between the two of you. So time and space disappear.

Next, you have been fucked into oblivion. Yeah, these are words that women have said to me and how they describe it when they’ve had this kind of sex. They will say things like, they’ve been fucked into oblivion. They’ve been fucked wide open. Yeah, trying to think of other terms that I’ve heard. But yeah, that’s kind of what it feels like. Like, oh, that’s another one. I had a woman once tell me after our lovemaking that she dissolved, like in the middle of lovemaking like she just dissolved. And you want to talk about going into another realm. Imagine your physical body just dissolving away in the middle of lovemaking. I mean that you’ve reached a level there, once you’re able to do that for sure. Your body craves the next sexual encounter with every cell. So when you’ve experienced this kind of sex, and then you think about sex with that person, again, just every cell in your body is like, Fuck, yeah, I want more of that.

And the last one on this list is every time you think about the last session, you get turned on and wet. So you know, maybe you are just talking with each other about it, you say, hey, member sex last night or whatever. Or you’re like, Oh, I can’t wait until we have sex again, or, you know, whatever it is you or even, you’re just thinking about it. I mean, sometimes I’d be sitting there in front of the computer doing work thinking about the last time we made love, and I would instantly get interaction, and, you know, start having pre cum out, right, like, that’s just because your whole body reacts to that feeling of what that lovemaking was like. So sound the title of this section is, but what if sex could feel like this? So, listen to that list, again, if you need to, what if your sex could feel like that? Now, here’s an interesting thing. years ago, Céline. And I had two couples over for dinner, they were friends of ours, and we had them over for dinner. And of course, because you know, Céline, and I, this is what we do for a living, right?

We coach people, we work around, you know, sex and love and relationship. And we were sort of describing this as a possibility and sex. And I remember, one of the men from one of the couples looked me right in the eye and said, Why would you want to do that? And I just froze. I was like, the deer in headlights in that moment? Because all I could think in that moment was, why wouldn’t you want to do this? Why wouldn’t you want it? That’s like saying, why wouldn’t you want to have a gourmet meal? When you could just have McDonald’s. Like, what? Why would you settle for some cheap crap, processed food, that doesn’t even taste good, and is gonna kill you? When you can have an amazing, you know, core May, made by a chef with the best ingredients on the planet meal, like, like, why would you choose this one? And that’s what was going through my mind in that moment. What do you mean, why would you want that? It just blew my mind why anybody would want to settle for you know that that type of sex that I mentioned, at the beginning of the show.

Now, the only thing I could think of is, again, you don’t know what you don’t know. So even though I have explained it to them in that moment, because he had never experienced it, it just his mind couldn’t comprehend what it really was that I was saying, and therefore, why would he want to go for it? Because he just couldn’t really comprehend what it is. But hopefully, I think I’ve done a good enough job of explaining to you what it could be like, and it’s absolutely possible. So of course, that begs the question, how do you have that kind of sex? Well, I have a list. And I’m going to tell you, even if this was the beginning of the show, not the end of the show, I wouldn’t have enough time to teach you everything you need to know, in order to have that kind of sex. But what I’m going to do is I’m going to give you a list of things that you can do, and each one of them is something that could be explored further and would require more practice. Okay, so here we go. Number one, you have to be open to the possibilities.

So I just told you the story about the guy who was like, why would you even want to do that? If you’re in that camp of why would you even want to do that? Then you’re never going to have that kind of sex because you’re just not open to the possibility of what sex could really be. You are for whatever reason, you’re content with your mediocre sex and that’s that, you know, what, if that’s you, that’s fine. No judgments? You know, you do you? I’m going to do me. And I am definitely open to the possibilities of what sex is as amazing. As some of the sex I’ve had the sex Céline And I had was literally off the charts the most amazing sex I’ve ever had in my life because not only were we both trained in how to do this, but we both had such a deep connection and love and desire for it. Brother, when you take that with the technique and the knowledge and the understanding, you put those two together, it’s an unbeatable combination.

But as amazing as that was, I’m still open to the possibility that someday, there could be sex with somebody else. That’s even better than that as possible. I don’t know if it’ll ever happen, but I’m open to the possibilities. Okay, next, a man needs to learn how to control his ejaculation. Okay, this is a must, you cannot have these multi-hour, or even an hour-long multi-orgasmic waves of sexual energy and just massive sexual energy moving through you. If you can’t control your ejaculation, it just, it’s like the foundational piece. So of course, we have our course, which is part of the power mastery series. So Sexual Mastery comes with not only the sexual mastery piece, but it comes with the Master Your =Ejaculation and Power Up Your Erections. You can also buy Master Your Ejaculation. On its own, it’s going to teach you the basics of how to control your ejaculation. And basically how to separate your orgasm from your ejaculation. This is a foundational piece that as a guy, you must master if you want to have this kind of sex, otherwise, you’ll never make it long enough.

This takes me to the next piece, which is you need to set aside a large block of time, this type of sex doesn’t happen in 20 minutes, it just doesn’t. In fact, Céline used to say now this was for her. And I understand that it will vary a little bit for each person. But for her, she used to say that it took her a good 30 to 40 minutes to be able to drop into the space that it takes to reach this level of sex that I’m talking about. So obviously, if it takes her 30 to 40 minutes, you know that you know, sex sessions were generally around an hour-ish. Not always, I mean, I used to tell her the bare minimum was 30 minutes. Like, no, our bare minimum is 30 minutes, if we’re gonna have sex has to be at least 30 minutes. Like that was a quickie in my book. And she was like, Well, you know, sometimes it’s late, and I’m really tired, but I really want to have sex with you. So I’m okay with 20 minutes, I’m like no as to be 30 minutes. Of course, we did what you know, we were just happy in those moments to you know, connect sexually at all.

And I was not like, you have to go 30 minutes or anything like that at all. I was really just mostly joking with her but to reach these levels, you know, of, of sex, you know, this, this multi-dimensional fucking amazing out of this world sex that we’re talking about. You know, she used to say it would take her a good 30 to 40 minutes to be able to really fully let go really fully open up as the feminine really, truly fully receive all of my energy and get into that altered state. So you need to set aside a relatively large block of time, this isn’t something that you do in 15 minutes. Next, start slowly and build up. Absolutely. You want to build up the intensity as you go slowly, slowly build up, and keep working on building it, building it, building it, building it, building it.

Next on the list, don’t be afraid to explore, you’re gonna have to try new things, try new positions, try new techniques, try some data stuff, try some Tantra stuff, try some stuff you just made up out of nowhere, right? Don’t be afraid to explore, you got to find out everybody’s different. Every woman is different. Every man is different. We all have things that we like that we don’t like things that work really well for us things that only work so so you kind of find out what all those things are. So don’t be afraid to explore, you will figure it out. And of course, guys, you know, if you’ve listened to my work for any length of time, that you know, a woman would need something different not only each time you make love but from moment to moment while you’re making love what she needs and what she wants is likely going to change.

So you’ve got to explore, you’ve got to have a toolbox full of tools, not necessarily physical tools, but like different techniques, different things that you can do different ways of moving or using you know, your hands, your mouth, your penis, whatever it is. And just keep trying them until you find the ones that are really working for her in that moment. Hopefully she’s good at communication and she can tell you what’s working for her and what’s not. But if she’s not communicating with you, you should be using all of your visual acuity and your auditory acuity and all those things you should be really paying attention and figuring all that out. Let’s see, take time with foreplay. This goes really along with the starting slowly. So take your time. Take your time. There’s plenty of time. Really build up that energy Learn some Tantra or Taoist techniques. There’s some great stuff in there that can really help take your lovemaking to the next level. So you know, if you’ve listened to something tonight for a long time, you know that Céline studied a lot of Taoist practices. She actually studied in Thailand, with Montek, she had his center there. She also studied in India as well, for quite a while. I also studied to Tantra and was certified as a Tantra counselor. So, you know, we both had backgrounds in that, and we could pull pieces from those traditions that have been used for 1000s of years and incorporate them into our lovemaking.

Next, learn to be fully present, this is something that we definitely teach in the power mastery series. But this idea of really being present, guys, if you want a woman to 100%, open up to you and completely be totally vulnerable and wide open in her feminine receiving, you have to be fully present. And she can feel your presence, and she knows when you are fully present and aware and focused on her and when you’re not. And if you’re not, she’s never really going to 100% open up to you. And that’s for her to go to those really deep like altered states of consciousness, she has to be able to fully open up, be fully vulnerable, fully let go. It’s the only way she’s gonna get there. Get out of your head, we talked about this before, you’ve got to get out of your head, you’ve got to let that conscious monkey mind go, it has no place here. No place here in this lovemaking.

Now, that doesn’t mean you know, throw caution to the wind and act with reckless abandon and, and screw the protection. Don’t worry about the birth control, you know, no, that’s not what it means take care of that stuff in the beginning, right? So make sure you have your safe sex talk. If this is somebody new that you’re going to have sex with, make sure that you take the proper precautions, you use the protection, you set the scene, you do all that you can use your conscious mind. Once that’s done, let go with a conscious mind. And really allow yourself to go to these deeper places. And there are techniques for how to do that. Again, it’s not time in this episode to really teach that. Next, don’t hold back. That’s another big one, don’t hold back. A lot of times guys will hold back because they’re trying so desperately to not ejaculate. But if you’re holding back, you’re not really giving her the full power of your masculine energy. And she can feel that. And women will often hold back either because they don’t truly feel comfortable to really open up to really let go to really allow themselves to disappear and dissolve into whatever this place they go is.

Sometimes they don’t have the level of trust with you. Maybe they’re worried about you ejaculating too quickly, that’s another thing. They’re worried if they really give it all their energy, they’re just going to take you over the edge. You know, depending on what kind of protection you’re using, maybe they’re worried about, you know, you said you’re going to pull out, but does she really trust that you’re going to do that kind of thing? So there are a lot of things that can get in the way that can cause one or both of you to hold back. But if you really want to reach these levels of ecstatic bliss, you can’t hold back. So you gotta do whatever you can to remove all of those things that are in the way so that you can just give it everything you got.

And that’s you know, I can’t say I’ve done this with every partner I’ve had because you know, sometimes you’re getting to know somebody and you are holding back in some ways, because you don’t really know what she needs, what she wants, what she’s going to be okay with, and you’re doing your best to figure that out. You’re having conversations beforehand, you’re communicating with her during you’re trying different things, and you’re paying attention. But when you really know a partner, like I did with Céline There was no holding back. I gave everything I had, and I knew going into that lovemaking session that I was going to give her everything I got. And you know, mileage varies, right? We’re humans. So what I got today might be different from what I got tomorrow, but it didn’t really matter. Because the point was, I was gonna give her everything I got. So don’t hold back. Next, learn how to move sexual energy through your body and through your partners. This is a key practice to really, really having this kind of mind-blowing full-body multi-orgasms, right? You need to learn how to move sexual energy.

One of the reasons by the way, why a lot of men have premature ejaculation issues. It’s because they don’t know how to move sexual energy so it gets all stuck down in the genitals and it just builds up. Okay, fine. We want to Feel the sexual energy, but it has no place to go. So it explodes out in an ejaculation. So you need to learn how to move that sexual energy. And you start by learning how to move it through your own body. Right. So one of the ways to do that is the Taoist technique of the microcosmic orbit. So you can start by learning to move it through your own body. But then eventually, you want to learn how to circulate it through your body into your partner’s body and back into yours and get this energy circuit moving. I know it sounds a little Fufu. We try not to go too esoteric and foo-foo here in this show. But this is a thing. It is real, it does work. And once you’ve experienced that, you go, oh, oh, that’s what he was talking about.

Yeah. So you really need to learn how to do that to really get into these higher states. And then lastly, you just got to keep practicing. This isn’t the kind of stuff that like you read it in a book, you try it once, and you nail it, or you try it once and it doesn’t work and you go out of this is a bunch of BS, anything that you want to learn in this world. And anything that you want to be really good at, or master in this world requires a lot of practice. So just keep going. Eventually, you’ll experience a new thing that you never experienced before. Like, oh, there’s this new wave of energy that I’ve never felt before. Oh, wow. As a man, I actually had a nonejaculatory orgasm. Whoa, that’s never happened to me before. Right? Once those few of those little things happen, then you’ll start to go okay, okay, I’m on to something here, this stuff works, and keep going. So just keep practicing. So those are a few tips on how to have this, you know, out of this world, fucking amazing mind-blowing sex, and that is what sex can be. Now, if you’re the person who’s like, okay, yeah, whatever, I don’t really care. Fine. That is perfectly okay. Not everybody has to have that kind of sex.

Maybe not everybody wants to have that kind of sex. You know, like, I’m an avid mountain biker. And I’m always looking for, you know, the most fun and exciting, fast flowy technical trails I can possibly find. And I understand that some people are perfectly okay, riding the paved path around the lake that’s flat. You do you whatever you want to do, I just want you to take away from this episode, that this is possible. And if it’s something that you are even remotely interested in, you can learn it. And that’s what I really wanted you to take away from this episode. So I’ve just had so many conversations with people.

And it’s come up multiple times very recently about, you know, sex, as described at the beginning of the show what most people’s sex is like. And so I just felt like I needed to come on here and have a discussion with you about the possibilities about what sex could be in your life if you really wanted to. So I hope I made that point in the show. I hope it got you curious if you’re not already having this kind of sex. And I hope that you have a whole lot of fun as you experiment and grow and take your sex to the next level. All right, everybody. That’s all I have for this episode. And I will see you next week.

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Céline Remy 58:34
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