This Is What A Healthy Balanced Feminine Woman Looks Like

Kevin Anthony 0:05
Welcome to the Love Lab podcast, a safe and fun place to get real and learn about sex. Whether you’re a man or woman, single or couple, this is the show for you. I am your host, Kevin Anthony, and I am here to guide you to go from good to amazing in the bedroom, and your relationships.

All right, welcome back to the Love Lab podcast. This is episode 28 and it is titled, This Is What A Balanced Feminine Woman Looks Like. So I did an episode A while back. I don’t know, I should have looked it up before the show. I totally forgot. But I talked about what it meant to be a balanced healthy feminine. And I had said in that episode, that I was going to have somebody come on a woman to come on to talk about what a healthy balanced feminine looks like. So if you are watching on YouTube, you can see that I do have a lovely woman with me here today. I will introduce her in a moment. But this conversation really came from so my guest today does women’s work, which we’ll talk about in a moment. And in preparing for one of her events. She was asking my opinion. And that started this whole conversation about what this looks like. And so I love the conversation so much. Would you be willing to come on the show and talk about this? To which she said yes. So we sat down together and we wrote this. So this is going to be a co-hosting episode. I’m not just asking her questions. Today we’re going to have an open dialogue back and forth about what does it really mean to be a balanced feminine woman and it is we have a ton of stuff to cover today. So I’m gonna keep this intro short because we got to dive right into it because there is a lot to cover.

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Okay. My guest today is Nancy Parker. She is the founder of in-body wisdom, ecstatic dance San Diego, and creator of primal play movement, affectionately known as a priestess of play, Nancy Parker weaves ancient alchemical wisdom and modern science to restore balance in the body, mind, and heart. For the past 20 years, Nancy has facilitated 10s of 1000s of groups and individuals to open their hearts, move through blocks, and experience radiant health, and more joy in their bodies and relationships. Her passion and expertise lie in facilitating transformation, and freedom using mindful movement, energy, medicine, and ritual and play. I will add to that, we’re talking specifically about women today. And you have facilitated lots of women’s events where you get together with women, and you talk about these things. And you work on embodying these things. So you have direct experience and what we’re going to talk about today. Welcome to the show.

Nancy Parker 4:08
Thanks, Kevin.

Kevin Anthony 4:11
All right. So the very first question, as I always like to start very logically, like my brain kind of works logically. And so we’re going to step through, why would you want to be a balanced, feminine woman? What does it look like to be a balanced, feminine woman? What are the things that get in the way that prevent women from being balanced? What are some signs that you can look for? That you are out of balance or your woman’s out of balance? How do you get back into balance? How do you stay there once you get there, and then what can men do to support their women?

So, you know, I should have said this in the intro, but I’ll add it now, which is that if you’re a man listening to this show, here’s what I want you to get out of it. I want you to be able to make good choices when choosing women. So if you’re dating, I want you You do look at or listen to the science here and make good choices. Choose a woman who’s really balanced. Now, if you’re in a relationship already, I want you to be able to tell when your woman’s in balance and out of balance. And at the end, as I just mentioned, we’re going to give a list of things that you can do to help support her to be in balance. So this is really important if you’re a guy. And also if you’re a woman listening to this, I want you to listen to this. And then really ask yourself some honest questions, like, get really honest. Do I sound like I’m in balance? Do I sound like I’m not in balance? And it’s okay, if you answer that question and it’s not balanced, there’s no judgment, right?

So then you just need to figure out how can you get yourself back into balance and so those are the things that I would love people to get out of this. Because if you want to show up for your relationship, the best way that you possibly can, and this is whether you’re a man or a woman, it all starts from within. So if you ever as a woman, want to show up the best, you got to show up as a balanced feminine. If you’re a man, and you want to show up as best, you have to show up as a balanced masculine. Now, before anybody gives me any shit, about why is it all about the women? Why is it the women that have to get in balance, blah blah, blah, I hear this stuff all the time. If you’ve listened to this channel for any length of time, especially since Céline has passed, you know that the majority of the content that I’ve been doing on this show is about how men can show up as their best it is all about how like what the masculine can do, what they shouldn’t be doing, what they shouldn’t be doing, how they can show up best. So I’m trying to actually be balanced here by bringing in the feminine as well. All right. Having said all that, why would a woman want to be a balanced feminine woman?

Nancy Parker 6:55
Well, frankly, as a balanced, healthy, feminine expression, I think life is more fun. Everything gets easier. Even though life always has life moments and you experience ups and downs. You’re just more able to meet the moment. And in flow with as much grace and ease and joy as possible.

Kevin Anthony 7:15
Yeah, I would agree with that. You know, I? Well, this is similar to one that’s a little further down the line. But like when you say life becomes easier. Some people get addicted to the drama. Yeah. The ups and downs are like they love it, they feed off of it. But they don’t realize how much more difficult that is really making their lives. And so this idea of life becomes easier. Like, fuck yeah, life is hard enough as it is already. Let’s make it as easy as we can.

Nancy Parker 7:43
As a result of becoming easier, life becomes more enjoyable, right? Yeah. Not struggling against the current anymore, you actually get to flow with the current.

Kevin Anthony 7:50
Yeah. So what is the next one?

Nancy Parker 7:53
Better relationships, like I feel more deeply connected to myself, first of all, more deeply connected to my friends, my family, and my loved ones, and able to actually be attuned to what’s going on in them while staying connected to what’s going on in me.

Kevin Anthony 8:10
Yeah, and this is exactly what I was just talking about just a moment ago, if you really want to have great relationships, you’ve got to show up as your best self. And that means being balanced. All right. The next one is increased capacity to navigate the rest of your life and world. So now this is sort of stepping outside of just the relationship container. But the fact is that if you’re balanced, it’s easier to navigate all of life.

Nancy Parker 8:37
Right, that goes back to that first statement, right life all of life becomes easier how we deal with stress and traffic or, you know, a glitch with your phone dying or whatever it is, it’s coming up in life, you’re not as reactive you’re actually able to and more available to respond.

Kevin Anthony 8:54
Yes, things like your phone dying. That sounds like something you may have experienced personally, recently.

Nancy Parker 9:00
Just a couple of days ago, in the middle of kind of a really important day.

Kevin Anthony 9:06
I know obviously, in preparing for this, I was aware that the phone died. And I will say aside from you doing work with the feminine around this, one of the reasons why I really wanted to ask you on this show is because I see you as an example of a balanced feminine woman and how you handled in the middle of multiple business things happening, not just this show other important business things happening and having your entire communication system go out from you that you navigated that well. So all right. Next on the list. Yeah, go for it. Better sex. Absolutely better sex. If you can show up as a balanced feminine and your man shows up as a balanced masculine and you get those two poles coming together and sexual union. It will blow your mind.

Nancy Parker 9:58
Yeah. And we’ll talk more about polarity a little later. What’s next, Kevin?

Kevin Anthony 10:04
The next one is emotional stability equals mental sanity. Yeah. So, you know, obviously, the more emotionally stable you are, you know, we kind of laugh at it equals mental sanity, but it really does. In other words, your ability to show up and navigate the world in a way that is not frantic and constantly in panic mode has a lot to do with how stable your emotions are.

Nancy Parker 10:34
Yeah, 100%. And I feel that you know, we live in a world where we tend to kind of want to separate our physical body, or mental emotional body, or spiritual, energetic or sexual body, but they’re actually all connected. So, you know, emotional stability, creates more mental stability, more mental sanity, and it also creates more resources for all those other ways of being in our bodies in the world.

Kevin Anthony 10:59
Yeah, I love that point that you brought up about it all being connected. And this is something I talk about all the time. One of the things I often tell men when I’m working with him, it’s that if you can solve your erection problems, or your premature ejaculation problems, or your sexual skills problems, you won’t just see your sex life, get better your relationship get better. But you might also start to see your work, get better your work, relationships get better, and the way that you navigate the world gets better because they’re not separate. And even maybe your bank account get better. And even maybe your bank account is correct, also.

All right. Next, it’s what men are looking for in a woman. And I will tell you, yes, yes. How many times can I possibly say this as a man? And I’m sure this is true. For most of the men who are listening to this, I have been in relationships with unbalanced women, I have been in relationships with balanced women, well, some of you may never have been in a relationship with a balanced woman. But trust me, when I tell you this, having been in relationships with both, it is so so much better to be in a relationship with a woman who is really balanced. In fact, at this point, you know, if I’m interested in a woman, and I start to see signs of it, I want to run in the other direction.

Nancy Parker 12:20
That’s right, women, if you’re looking for a high value, man, they like balanced, healthy feminine expression.

Kevin Anthony 12:26
Yes, yes, we do. And you know, even the ones that may not consciously know that, like, you know, customer, somebody, if you ask them what they’re looking for to them, they’re not going to tell you I’m looking for a balanced feminine, who is, you know, but they intuitively feel it. Now, if they’re attracted to you, because of the drama, because of the wild fluctuations in the ups and downs, that ladies is a warning sign, you should run in the other direction. He shouldn’t be attracted to your dysfunction in your drama, it should be attracted to the parts of you that are healthy, whole healed, and balanced.

Nancy Parker 13:03
Yes. And the next on the list, yeah. You feel more empowered ladies, in your empowered authority in your body.

Kevin Anthony 13:18
So as a balanced woman, I’d love to hear when you say you feel more empowered, how do you experience that? How do you feel when you are feeling balanced in that moment, how does that show up for you as as empowerment?

Nancy Parker 13:32
Yeah, well clarity and decision making, and the way I relate to someone clearly expressing my needs, desires, my boundaries, holding them lovingly, like, I feel able and competent. And like I have the capacity to do all of those things in a way that can be received. And to make choices, whether it’s, you know, edgy choices to advance my career or edgy choices to advance the relationship, like I feel more clarity and more trust in my intuition as well.

Kevin Anthony 14:09
Yeah, that I’ve always said, you’ve heard me say this on the show before that, I think while both men and women are intuitive, that, like that’s kind of women’s superpower. And it’s interesting to hear you say? Yes, one of them. But it’s interesting to hear you say that when they’re not balanced, that intuition kind of it kind of shuts down, doesn’t it?

Nancy Parker 14:32
Well, it gets muddy. It’s not clear you don’t get clear you you second guess you go into doubt you spend in your mind you get out of your body and into your head. And that’s never good for intuition.

Kevin Anthony 14:46
It’s never good for sex either. Because you heard me and probably something talking about this on the show also that, you know, if you want to have sex with your woman, one of the things you have to do is help her get out of her head. Get out of her head and actually get back into her body. Because she’s going to be spinning around in her head about, you know, all the things that need to get done and the laundry and the kids and all that kind of stuff. And you got to get her out of that and get her into her body. So that is interesting to hear. That’s also what you need to do in order to really access your intuition as a woman and get clarity there.

Okay, well, I think that should have been a good enough list to motivate you to want to become a balanced, feminine, or to motivate you to want to be in a relationship with a balanced woman. So then the next question, of course, becomes, what does a balanced woman look like? So, guys, you’re listening to this, and you’re going, okay, great, but how do I know if she’s balanced or not? And women? It’s like, okay, well, am I unbalanced? Or am I not? I feel like I’m intuitive. But maybe I don’t know. Like, we’re gonna give you a rather long list of ways that you can tell whether or not you or your partner are actually in balance.

Nancy Parker 16:04
So number one, is emotional intelligence. She’s able to communicate emotions clearly. With love and compassion.

Kevin Anthony 16:14
I would say this is one of the biggest ones. For me. Emotional Intelligence is absolutely huge. Like, I cannot be with somebody who doesn’t have a high emotional intelligence or EQ, as it’s often called. It is probably one of the first things that I look for. In a woman is like, does she have a high level of emotional intelligence? And? Yeah, I would say that the few, fortunately, few unbalanced women that I’ve dated definitely we’re, low in the EQ department.

Nancy Parker 16:53
I would say that also goes both ways. As a healthy, balanced woman. You want to look for that in a man as well.

Kevin Anthony 16:58
Oh, absolutely. Absolutely. Yeah. If we were doing like, what does it mean to be healthy and balanced? In general, we’d be saying back and forth. Because yeah, that is absolutely true for men as well.

Nancy Parker 17:10
This next one, it’s a little more nuanced, because emotional intelligence is one piece, but a woman being aware of her emotional cycles and fluctuations throughout the month, throughout her lifetime, in terms of, you know, transitions of phases in her body, being aware of where she’s at, in her cycle, how it affects her emotionally, being able to communicate that to those around her, and also not being attached or overly identified with whatever that emotion is coming up. So for instance, I would say like, three days before my cycle, I can go into this, oh, whoa, the world is awful, nothing’s ever getting better. I might as well give up kind of place. And I’m like, I know, within about 24 to 48 hours, I’m going to start my moon. And knowing that, instead of a younger version of me, which would just go into it and get like completely at, you know, just emotional wreck, letting it affect all of my life, because I really believe that it feels real. I know, oh, I’m feeling like that. I know what this is. And I don’t attach to it. I don’t identify with it. But I can also let people know, hey, by the way, I’m going to be a little poopy the next few days. So can you just be extra nice?

Kevin Anthony 18:23
Yeah, there’s, there’s a couple of things that you said there. The first point I kind of want to reiterate is, that it’s super important to be able to recognize the cycles. And here’s the thing, we’re not telling you, you shouldn’t have the cycles, we’re just telling you, you should recognize when you’re in those cycles, as as a man, it makes a huge difference to me if my partner can come to me and say, I’m feeling this way right now. And I know that’s because I’m at this point in my cycle, and it’s okay, I’m not attaching to it, don’t take it, you know, personally or anything like that, then you can just kind of relax, and go, okay, it’s just a part of the natural cycle and let it flow. The other thing I wanted to bring up that you said in there, was it feels real. And this is a really important point to make. The hormones that are being released in the body, the things that are making us feel how we feel are real. So and this is this is where men and women get into these arguments all the time because the guy saying this, this isn’t real, what you’re saying isn’t real. the thing itself may not be real, but the feeling of the emotion is real. And that’s where as a man and we’ll get into how to support your woman, but as a man, that’s where you can say I understand that this is how you are feeling that this is a real feeling that you’re having and maybe not attached to it because it may not be real. I wouldn’t suggest saying that necessarily. We’ll talk about how you can support it. But that’s the idea.

Nancy Parker 20:02
Only the first part of that statement, I understand that how you’re feeling feels very real to you right now, how can I support you?

Kevin Anthony 20:14
Alright, let’s see, what’s the next one on the list? Oh embraces the feminine instead of trying to compete? Yeah, this is gonna take us into a couple here on this list that are that are somewhat similar to that, yeah, woven together. But how would you describe embracing the feminine?

Nancy Parker 20:32
Well, I think it’s a little bit about what we were just talking about knowing honoring your cycle. So I love being a woman, it took me a long time in my menstruating adulthood to get to that point, to really start to love and embrace my own time cycle and allow myself to slow down and really embrace the more sensitive, the sensitivity that comes along with that time of the month. And also to not try to push or to not try to prove or compete with the masculine or even other women in my life, but just to really, you know, stay connected to my own feminine receptivity, sensitivity, and power.

Kevin Anthony 21:16
Yeah, unfortunately, have heard too many women, in my lifetime talk about their cycle as being this burden, this terrible thing that they wish they didn’t have, unfortunately, a lot of us are taught that. Yeah. But I think there’s a massive liberation for women when they can get to that point that you just talked about where they can embrace it, and love it. Like, I do see that in you. And it’s something that Céline used to do as well, she would get excited when that time of the month would come because she would say, Hey, that’s my opportunity to go in Yes, to tap into those other realms at a point in time where it’s easier for you to do that. So she really loved and embraced it. And I see that you do too. And I think that is an important part. Look, in our modern society, we can say we can be a man if we want, we can be a woman if we want, we can change things however we want. But the reality is, that’s not really true. And so the more you can not just come to terms with who and what you are, but truly love and embrace it, the better your life’s gonna be.

Nancy Parker 22:35
Yeah, the heightened sensitivity and deeper connection to intuition, when we go inward at that time, can be so powerful. And it’s one of the things I work with, with women in the circles and, you know, one on one is actually helping repattern, the taboo and the stigma. We’ve been taught around our cycles and our moon time, and actually how to embrace the power that’s within that time.

Kevin Anthony 23:01
Yeah, I mean, that’s huge. If more women could understand the power that’s in it, because they literally think of it as a weakness, right? And you wouldn’t you would be the better person to say, but my observation as a man, you know, having been buried and littered with partners, like, I’ve never seen it as that I’ve seen it as more of a superpower kind of thing.

Nancy Parker 23:23
Yeah, well, when we’re forced to engage in a masculine culture where it’s pushed, push, push, keep going, don’t listen to your body, push through, show up for the tasks, then it because it feels like a curse. And that’s how it was expressed. To me, it’s the curse of being a woman. And it really does feel that way, if we’re trying to push our bodies to live in a way that’s not in tune with our cycles and with our energy flows. So then we’re not really taught that that can be, you know, our strength, that that vulnerability and that sensitivity is actually another of the superpowers of a woman.

Kevin Anthony 24:02
Well, so, and then the next one on the list is understanding that the feminine is not weak. This could be a whole, like, half an hour discussion in and of itself. But the idea is, unfortunately, in society we receive masculine is strong and feminine is weak. And that is absolutely not true. And I would love to hear your take on this as a woman. I’ll just quickly my take on it is, I don’t see the feminine is being weak. I see it as being very powerful but in a different way. So the analogy that I always use time is the masculine is like Muay Thai, it’s like straight in your face punching you as hard as you can. It’s about just brute force, right? Whereas the feminine is more like Aquino. It’s like, I’m not going to come at you with brute force right in your face. I’m going to take your energy and I’m just going to redirect it however, I want you to go. Yeah, right. It’s much more flow. It’s much more Irish. receive your energy, and then I redirect your energy as opposed to I’m just blasting you with my energy. But I’d love to hear like, as a woman, one Do you agree with that, that the feminine is not weakened to like how do you how would you describe feminine strength?

Nancy Parker 25:19
Well, I absolutely 100% agree, and I think I kind of get a little split hairs, but we’re kind of collapsing feminine and women together. And that’s not necessarily an accurate vocabulary. However, I feel women are not weak. Of course, we’ve talked about the ways that I feel sensitivity, intuition, and vulnerability are actually superpowers. And to me, I think this does what you alluded to kind of pops on something from a later point in our list, and that is, the feminine is when we’re in our power, when we’re in our like, agency, our embodied authority, we’re able to have our vision and enroll the people around us in it, versus forcing or telling, we’re actually just able to kind of Aikido it if you’d like to use your analogy, and actually get the energy to go in the direction that we want it to go all while making the other people think it was their idea. That’s not weak. That’s power, it’s important to use that power responsibly.

Kevin Anthony 26:26
But that is unbelievably powerful because in the brute force thing, they don’t think it’s their idea. They’re like, you’re forcing me to do this. And I don’t really want to do it. Whereas the other way around, not only are they doing it, but they’re like this was my idea. This is about it. And what’s interesting is, I have said that exact thing on this show numerous times and you know what feedback I often get from the men. That sounds like manipulation, why she made it and it’s not manipulation is there’s an absolute hard line between what we’re talking about and actual manipulation because you’re not trying to fool them into doing it. You’re like you said you’re enrolling them into it. And there’s a big difference between I’m doing something without your knowledge behind your back to fool you into doing it and doing something right in front of you and enrolling you and getting your buy-in for it.

Nancy Parker 27:19
Yeah, it’s the invitation. I’m inviting you into this experience into this opportunity. And there are no hidden agendas.

Kevin Anthony 27:30
That shouldn’t be. Yeah. And in general in what we’re talking about. Yes. There wouldn’t be, any hidden agendas in there.

Nancy Parker 27:36
In a balanced, healthy feminine woman, yes.

Kevin Anthony 27:39
Exactly. Which is what this show is all about today. All right, let’s see. Oh, how I would love you to talk about this one on them. This vulnerability is her strength. Like what do we mean when we say that? How? Because I know a lot of people listening to this, you’re gonna say how can being vulnerable possibly be strong?

Nancy Parker 28:02
Wow, you know, actually have a hard time putting this one into words, Kevin, it’s, it took a long time, for me to even acknowledge this as something that is actually real or true for me. Because being vulnerable, felt vulnerable, it felt like it was weak, it felt like I could be manipulated, it felt. Yeah. As, as I, you know, learn to stay more grounded and my center as then the vulnerability becomes, as I’m able to be vulnerable with those around me. And again, this there can be a line of people use weaponized vulnerability in order to, you know, oh, poor me, or you know, get some sort of currency emotionally or energetically out of it. However, being really grounded and vulnerable actually allows others to see all of who you are, it actually allows them to show up and meet you. We’re taught as women to be people pleasers and to be martyrs, and to really kind of just, you know, self-sacrifice. And that builds up a lot of resentment or other unexpressed feelings and emotions. And I think when we can just allow ourselves to show up vulnerably. It lets all those masks drop. It allows authenticity and allows you to be seen felt and heard in better ways.

Kevin Anthony 29:28
Which is interesting. I like the way you said that allows you to be seen, felt and heard. Because as a woman, and this is again, my perspective, you can correct me if I’m wrong, but as a woman, one of the things you want most is to be seen, felt, and heard.

Nancy Parker 29:43
Yeah, I think as a human, but yes.

Kevin Anthony 29:45
Yes as a human in general that’s true. But I will say that I think that there’s a bigger issue for women. Yeah, like in the relationships I’ve had in my life. I’ve noticed that that’s one of the most important things that I could do to nurture that relationship was to help her feel seen heard felt all that kind of stuff.

Nancy Parker 30:05
So that’s when she’s gonna soften and open even more for you.

Kevin Anthony 30:09
And you definitely want that. Definitely want. All right, let’s see if we kind of covered this already powerful in the software that uses power responsibly. So I don’t think we really need to go into that one any deeper.

Nancy Parker 30:23
She knows how to play with polarity.

Kevin Anthony 30:29
If you’re a listener of this show, you should know what we’re talking about with polarity. I’ve done several whole episodes on this. But I’m curious, from your perspective, how does a woman play with that polarity? Like from a balanced, feminine perspective? What does that mean to play with the polarity?

Nancy Parker 30:45
And then this kind of goes with that next one on the list. So we’re able to switch in and out of our more feminine flowy, open receptive creative states, and are more masculine, doing acting being directing states, but knowing when to be in that receiving mode and when to be in directing mode, a lot of women we’ve gotten conditioned through our culture to be in masculine mode, conditioned through, you know, life circumstances or other experiences where we’re always having to be figuring it out figuring out, and we don’t know how to flip that switch and come back into receptivity. And I find in relating with the masculine if I’m in my masculine, that leaves him nowhere to go except into his feminine.

Kevin Anthony 31:30
Either that or you both stay in your masculine, then you fight or you compete.

Nancy Parker 31:37
You just butt heads.

Kevin Anthony 31:41
Yeah, this is, this is another, I think, superpower for women, if they can develop it, which is that ability to switch back and forth. Because it’s necessary it whether we like it or not, you’re correct. We live in a masculine world, we live in a world dominated by masculine energy. And especially if you’re a single mom, or you’re a businesswoman, or an entrepreneur, or you know, vice president or president of a cup, like a single woman in general, yeah, well, it’s true just to navigate the world, as a single woman, there are times when you are absolutely going to have to be in that masculine energy. But then, here’s where the problem is, otherwise nothing will get done, right? But the problem is, is, especially let’s say, you know, you’re the CEO of a company, and you know, you’re in masculine all day long competing with men, then you show up at home to your man, and you start being the director and the CEO at home in the relationship.

And unless you happen to be in a relationship with a man who’s more in his feminine than in his masculine, this is going to create problems. And this is what I hear from every entrepreneurial woman. And most of them aren’t even aware of it, what they’ll tell you is they’ll tell you all their dating stories and how they all went wrong. And as you know, a third party and also as a coach who does this for a living, I’m just sitting there, I’m like, twiddling my thumbs waiting for him to slow down, because I’m like, I know exactly what is happening here. The dynamic is, that they’re showing up in their masculine, they’re trying to be bossy, they’re emasculating their men, they’re not giving him the space to step up as his masculine, and it creates havoc in their relationships.

Nancy Parker 33:25
And then complaining to their girlfriends that their man’s not stepping up, right, which is why we work together as women to work through some of these things. Yep.

Kevin Anthony 33:33
But that’s what the superpower is, I am in the office, I’m directing, I’m leading. And then I come home, and I switch modes to the more receiving feminine way. And again, if you understand that the feminine isn’t a weakness, it’s just another way of operating in the world. You shouldn’t have a problem doing that. I think a lot of women resist it because they see it as that that see it as weak.

Nancy Parker 34:02
Yeah, I agree.

Kevin Anthony 34:05
All right. Next is connected to her intuition. We’ve talked about that quite a bit. I’m going to kind of go through these last ones a little faster because we’ve talked about them a lot. But if there’s anything that you want to share, that’s important that we’ve missed, just jump in and say so this idea of collaboration versus competition, this is actually something I want to talk about this one. Because this one is so obvious to me. All you have to do is look at what women do when they get together versus what men do when they get together. So what do we do as men when we get together? Oh, well, it depends on what we’re doing. But it could be I can drink more beers than you. It could be. You know, like when I was super into climbing, we’d get into these hangboard climbing competitions, like who could do more pull-ups on two fingers, you know, like that kind of stuff. It might be sparring or something Like, there’s like, we get into that competition that that actually nourishes our soul as men, right? Like we we crave that healthy competition amongst our peers as men. But then what do women do when they get together?

Nancy Parker 35:15
We like to talk about how we can support each other.

Exactly. Healthy women.

The Mean Girls, maybe not.

Kevin Anthony 35:24
But that’s the point. By nature, healthy women will work collaboratively together. Right? Like, the perfect example is just going back to tribal days. It’s like the men go out hunting. And yes, sometimes they’ll hunt in groups, but it’s like, oh, go hunt over here, you go hunt over there, we’ll meet back with whatever we get. But the women work collaboratively in the village, solving all the village problems and handling all of that, by nature. That’s the way we are collaboration versus competition. So as a female, if you find yourself in competition all the time, that could be assigned to you, and we’ll get the signs. But that could be assigned to you that maybe you’re not balanced at this moment.

Nancy Parker 36:03
Yeah, maybe you’re a little stuck in that masculine side.

Kevin Anthony 36:07
The next one is power with versus power over to kind of another way of saying it, right? Yeah. But, yeah, different in its own way. If we’re thinking in terms of using that power responsibly, right? So rather than using it to dominate use it to co-create.

Nancy Parker 36:29
Yeah. And to bring everybody up with you.

Kevin Anthony 36:34
Generosity versus greed. Tell me, tell me a little bit more about that one, how you experienced that one.

Nancy Parker 36:42
You know, all of these, I think I just think of the way, when we look out at the world, I think of the way, you know, we’ve been in this more masculine patriarchal culture, and we see that it’s all about greed and power over and competition, and who can get the most and have the most and be in control? And I feel like the feminine is about generosity. How can I show up and serve? How can we all have, you know, all that our needs are taken care of how, you know, again, how can we support each other versus take from each other?

Kevin Anthony 37:14
Yeah, I would say, I mean, I do agree with you on that, that when we look out at society, that’s what we see. But I would make the distinction that that is not because it’s masculine-dominated patriarchy, I would say it’s because it’s out of balance, masculine, that’s running the show. Because if you’re if you’re truly a balanced masculine, you don’t show up that way. What how does a balanced healthy masculine show up? supportive? Right, he’s gonna show up in a way where he wants to support his women, his family, that sort of thing. So this idea of this constant, yet sort of what we call patriarchy, this sort of domineering, the sort of like, I get mine at the expense of everybody else, I think is out of balance, for sure. very unhealthy out of balance, representation of the masculine.

Nancy Parker 38:09
I agree, thank you for bringing that clarity.

Kevin Anthony 38:12
You’re welcome. Next feminine leadership. And this is the idea of facilitating guiding versus telling and forcing. Please tell us a little bit about that. Because as somebody who’s leaving a lot of feminine stuff, like what does it what does it look like? Because I know this is an issue. And this is something that came up in the conversation that sort of spurred this episode, which was that a lot of women seem to have this conflict about how can you be a leader but also be feminine. Yeah.

Nancy Parker 38:43
Well, when I was in one of my women’s circles, and it was engaging in this dialogue around healthy feminine expression, and I asked women what it looks like, and, you know, different women were sharing different things. And somewhere towards the end, when people were about empty, someone popped out leadership and kind of like a question mark, you know, and I could see the response of several other women in the group go, now now, you know, they really associate leadership with a masculine trait. And, and I just, like, loved it. And I said, Okay, yes. What does feminine leadership look like? You know, because I could see a few of them were having conflicting ideas about that. And it really does look like inviting, facilitating, and collaborating, it’s like you create a space where everyone can contribute. And it is, you know when I guide circles, I’m not going through a bulleted list in really good order. I mean, I do have an outline, but there’s always room for the group to contribute and to guide where the energy goes from, you know, my set intention. So I think that’s the difference between the facilitating and the guiding You know, not letting it be a free-for-all all and letting someone hijack the circle with all of their energy. And that’s a part of the art as a facilitator is coming in and going, okay, and we’re gonna bring it back to here now, versus, you know, that’s enough of that. Now let’s move on.

Kevin Anthony 40:19
I just want to rip the talking stick out of their head and be like…….

Nancy Parker 40:23
And then not a very well-facilitated circle.

Kevin Anthony 40:30
All right, one more on this list. And then we gotta take a break, I normally break a little sooner, but I didn’t want to interrupt where we were going with this because it was too good. But the very last one on the list is a healthy relationship with her sexuality, using it for connection and not manipulation. So okay, I got to hear from your point of view. What? What does it mean for women to have a healthy relationship with their sexuality?

Nancy Parker 41:02
Well, I can see what it means for me, that I have. I have an acceptance that I’m a sexual being, I have worked through shame or programming that makes it taboo. I enjoy my body and sexuality. I use it for deepening connection and enjoyment, not for manipulating or controlling. And there’s a playfulness there and a flirtatiousness there.

Kevin Anthony 41:32
Yeah. But again, in a way that fosters connection, not in a way that you’re using flirtatiousness or the offer of sex in order to manipulate or get something that you want, right?

Nancy Parker 41:46
Yeah, and not in a way that’s using it to disassociate, or to avoid or to check out from other things in life. So it’s not used being used as an escape, unless there’s a mutually consenting agreement to do that, of course.

Kevin Anthony 42:01
Yes, there could be situations where that is already agreed upon. All right, well, there you go. So that is the list of what a balanced feminine woman looks like. So men, again, make better choices, or, you know, if you’re looking at your woman, you’re going wow, that doesn’t at all sound like my wife, or my partner or my girlfriend, whatever. Then definitely listen to the section on how to support her at least twice, maybe three times. And then ladies, yeah, again, you know, ask the hard question. And as men, we have to do the same thing to I’ve said this to men many times, if this is how you show up in the relationship, you got to stand in front of that mirror and ask yourself some hard questions. Right. And I suggest that the ladies do that also.

All right. A quick word from my sponsor, which is me. Are you a couple are your relationship and sex life where you want them to be? Are there changes you would like to make but just don’t know how, maybe you think that there is nothing that can be done if you’re not 100% happy with where your relationship and sex life is, or are and getting help today and changing your life. Go to KevinandCéline.com/sex-coaching-couples. The link is in the description. You don’t have to remember it. I know it’s one of those long links, I still haven’t shortened it. But go there and schedule a strategy call with me today. So we can map out how to get your relationship and sex life back on track. If you’re not having the sex that you used to have, if you’re not having the connection that you used to have, this really is a great way to bring that passion back that fire back. Strengthen that connection again, have the sex that you had when you were dating. So go to KevinandCéline.com/sex-coaching-couples, the link is in the description. Okay, so we have so far covered why you would want to be a balanced feminine woman. We’ve talked about what it looks like. The next thing we want to talk about is……

Nancy Parker 44:18
What gets in the way?

Kevin Anthony 44:20
What gets in the way? What are the things that can come up in life that can get in the way and prevent you from staying balanced? So what do we got on the list here?

Nancy Parker 44:32
You know, the first thing that pops into my head when I consider this question is unexpressed feelings and emotions. As a woman, if there’s any resentment or anger or even sadness, or just things that haven’t been said. Those are like trash in the middle of the space between you that you literally need to clean out energetically, verbally before there’s actually um The ability to connect to yourself and to others.

Kevin Anthony 45:03
Absolutely. I’ve talked a lot on this show about the importance of communication. And one of the reasons why that communication is so important is so that you don’t have all those unexpressed feelings and emotions that build resentment over time, because that’s just toxic to a relationship. So you’ve got to be able to express those things. So that means creating an environment in your relationship where it is okay to talk about whatever it is you need to talk about. So if that container isn’t there to allow that, then it’s not likely going to happen. And if it doesn’t happen, then the resentment builds up, and then things get worse.

Nancy Parker 45:43
And that’s also a way that being vulnerable is a power, when you’re able to connect and share those edgy bits, those unexpressed bits that feels really vulnerable. It feels really seen. It’s that’s a way that actually becomes more empowered.

Kevin Anthony 45:58
Yeah. And you know, as men have, we obviously have a reputation for not being very good at sharing our emotions and being vulnerable. It is something that is often a bit of a stretch for us, but we can learn how to do it. So by doing that yourself as the feminine, you are leading by example. And you are creating a space that allows and also shows us how to do that as men. Welcome. Alright, next, body shame, pain, feeling disconnected from the body?

Nancy Parker 46:29
Yeah, yeah, if I don’t have a certain amount of comfort level, a certain amount of love for my body if I have been shamed, whether directly or indirectly through culture, or through a partner if I have had, and this is another one of the bullet points, but if I’ve had some sort of trauma that makes me feel not safe to be in my body, at all, much less sexually, right, then I’m probably not going to be able to stay in a balanced healthy expression of a human much less my feminine, like, it may not feel safe. Or maybe my corporate culture has conditioned me to believe that that’s not an okay thing.

Kevin Anthony 47:10
So yeah, you covered several there, right, which is, you know, how you’re feeling.

Nancy Parker 47:14
I didn’t stick to the list and I’m flowing through.

Kevin Anthony 47:18
No, that was, that was actually great. I don’t think a lot of guys truly understand that body shame and the feeling disconnected from the body thing, because we tend to be pretty grounded in our bodies as men. And so it’s not something we think about as often. And this is really, really true when it comes to, you know, sex when I hear guys say, she doesn’t want to have sex. And one of the main reasons is, well, how is she feeling in her body? And it kind of blows the guy’s mind? Because like, What do you mean? Right? But it’s like, you have to understand that if she doesn’t feel comfortable in her body. If she’s feeling, you know, the shame, or the pain or anything like that, that’s that’s going to shut down your sexuality immediately.

Nancy Parker 48:02
Or if you’re bloated.

Kevin Anthony 48:06
Yes, that can affect that as well. Well, that’s kind of, you know, one that you didn’t we didn’t say directly on here, but what was health, you know, how your health is how you’re actually feeling?

Nancy Parker 48:17
Yeah, I’ve worked with so many people over the past two decades, and that foundational level of health unlocks all these other higher levels of being and relating in the world, if we don’t have the energy to even get through our day. Right, then we’re probably not going to feel really balanced, or fully expressed. If we are not taking care of getting good food, good diet, good rest, you know, drinking quality water. And, you know, sometimes this is easier for some of us and harder for others. But that’s one of the things that really gets in the way is you know, not being in good health. And sometimes that results in pain in the body, which again, will you know, when you have pain, all your focus is there. It’s not Oh, how can I be and show up as this? You know, beautiful Express feminine, it’s like……..

Kevin Anthony 49:10
Indeed, you know, I think women when they hear this, they will instantly go Yeah. I think what’s really important about this particular section is for us as men to go, oh, oh, that could be one of the things right because we tend to not think about those things. So we have unexpressed feelings, emotions body shame, pain, feeling disconnected health issues, life circumstances, familial and societal conditioning, shame and guilt, and trauma all of those are things that can really get in the way and I don’t want to say prevent but maybe take you out of balance is a fair way to say it.

Nancy Parker 49:51
Yeah. 100% Yeah, definitely the not feeling safe, and being shamed for the body, man. If you can make her feel safe and just love up on her body. Let her know how much you love and adore no matter what shape size doesn’t matter, women and men, right? The ability to really just love and accept exactly what you’re born with. goes a long way.

Kevin Anthony 50:12
Yeah, and I will say this for the men listening also, once doesn’t count, okay, maybe it counts for a little bit, but cuz I hear this from for a day or so. But that’s the truth. That’s the truth of it. Right? So like get you know, guys who say well I’ve told her before how much how beautiful I think she is and how much I liked her body and blah, blah, blah I’m like, yeah, when I don’t know, when we started dating, we’ve been married for 20 years. That’s a thing that guys have a hard time understanding, which is you need to do it over and over again. And it frustrates us as men sometimes.

Nancy Parker 50:52
And not in a broken record sort of way, but in an authentic and genuine way.

Kevin Anthony 50:55
Yes, exactly. But I don’t think a lot of men realize how important it is to say that over and over again. And you know, this is another one, where guys will tell you, they’ll say, Why should I have to do that? She already knows it. Why do I have to keep doing it? And I’m like, Look, it’s not about whether or not you like, you know, whether they should be that way or shouldn’t be that way it is. This is what the feminine needs, whether you like it or not, right? So it’s something that’s just it’s if you want to have a woman in your life for all of the wonderful things that they bring to your life, it’s a small thing to contribute.

Nancy Parker 51:35
That’s right, men. If you want to see your woman light up, continue to offer genuine authentic, even a balanced healthy feminine like myself, and like, you know, you could tell me every so often you like how I look today, that would be nice. And that’s what a balanced healthy feminine can do.

Kevin Anthony 51:51
And out of balance would just get angry and passive-aggressive because she wouldn’t actually tell him why she was annoyed. But she was annoyed.

Nancy Parker 51:59
He didn’t even notice.

Kevin Anthony 52:01
Yeah, exactly. And you’re right. So I love that. So that that is that is a great piece of advice that as a balanced woman in Saline used to do this all the time. Like for her, it was really important for her to get appreciation. And so if she was really needing it, and she was feeling like I wasn’t giving her enough to just say, tell me three things you appreciate about me. And it became a game like I knew it was a game. But I thought it was great. Because sometimes I don’t realize how long it’s been since I said that, right? And she would just ask me and I would just tell her, and then she would feel so much better and everything would be better.

Nancy Parker 52:34
And there’s another example of women as women vulnerability as power. Because in that moment asking, tell me what you appreciate about me could feel a little vulnerable. But it’s also us being in our power, being able to ask for, you know, what we know is going to make it light us up and make us feel good.

Kevin Anthony 52:50
Indeed. All right. I knew we had a lot to cover in this show. We still got quite a bit, but we’re gonna go a little faster through it. Yeah. Because these will be easier anyway, we don’t have to do a lot of explanation. So the next section is, what are signs that she may be out of balance?

Nancy Parker 53:10
You know, so I think we could say, men and women as you’re listening, like, there’s two ways to receive that one is like a woman things you notice as you’re out of balance, and some will be more external that your man can notice. So it’s kind of internally and externally. As a woman, when I’m out of balance, I feel more wishy-washy and indecisive. And that probably will be evidenced externally as well.

Kevin Anthony 53:35
Yeah, absolutely. My experience has been that. There are definitely times when you know, it doesn’t matter what question you ask her, she just doesn’t have an answer. And those are the moments where as a man, you need to actually step up and say, Okay, how about we do this? It’s not that, okay, we’re doing this. It’s the I have a plan. How about we do this? Right? And then see what her response is to that. And then you might have to shift and go, Okay, that that was not good. How about we do this instead? Right?

Nancy Parker 54:07
That’s a good example of something the masculine can do to support her. Yeah. So some other signs, that she’s out of balance are emotional swings.

Kevin Anthony 54:17
Yeah. And we specifically wrote on here, I might never in this one. Wild emotional swings, oh, boy, I’m sure the men listening. You’ve all experienced this at one point or another. Just like one moment, way over here the next moment way over here. And as men, we have a really hard time understanding that. But that is something that can happen, especially when hormones are out of balance.

Nancy Parker 54:45
We may also get cranky nitpicky or complain more.

Kevin Anthony 54:52
Yep, and maybe the extreme version of that is the next one on the list, which is having irrational thoughts.

Nancy Parker 54:58
Or she seems irrational to those around her?

Kevin Anthony 55:02
That’s a good point that the way you said that she seems irrational to those around her because in her mind, she’s being perfectly rational. Now, whether or not that is actually rational is different. But again, it’s like how you approach that situation is, don’t tell her that she, you know, her feelings are completely irrational because the feelings are rational, but maybe the actions that she’s taking as a result of those feelings may not be all that rational. And so it’s important to be able to make that distinction.

Nancy Parker 55:31
She may be showing up as pushy or demanding or controlling, like really going back into that overly masculine expression.

Kevin Anthony 55:41
Irregular cycles. Yeah, I mean, so when we’re talking about how to balance we’re talking, obviously, mentally, emotionally, but also physically in the physical it can be really, really, I want to say important, but like strong, like the effects it can have on your computer.

Nancy Parker 55:55
Those hormones are powerful, and they do all the you know, they can control the tides, the moon controls the tides, right, the hormones control the tides of our body. So when we’re out of balance, it can really show up as irregular cycles, really bad PMS. And there are some things that we can do to help bring that back into balance.

Kevin Anthony 56:18
which the ladies can reach out to you for later if they want to know more about because we really don’t have time to cover it in this show. So bad PMS, which is not necessarily the same as irregular cycles, but can be associated with irregular cycles. Disconnected from her intuition stuck in her head, we kind of talked about that quite a lot already.

Nancy Parker 56:39
People pleasing or self-sacrificing, we also mentioned, I think, it’s also important to mention that we can feel pretty balanced in one aspect of our lives, and maybe not in other aspects of our lives. So as a woman, or even as a man perceiving your woman, you might think, oh, yeah, she’s good. But something over here is off. Right? So it’s just important to know that, you know, we have different life categories. And you know, we may be really dialed in in one and not quite as competent or resourced in another.

Kevin Anthony 57:05
Yeah, that’s an important distinction to make. I think also because it can sometimes be difficult to figure out. But she seems so imbalanced, right? I don’t get it right. Because this is something that we say I don’t get it, because she seems so. But there might be another area outside of that.

Nancy Parker 57:23
Yeah. So how do we get back into balance?

Kevin Anthony 57:28
That is the million-dollar question, isn’t it?

Nancy Parker 57:31
I should be answering this question.

Kevin Anthony 57:33
Yes, you are. You’re going to take a stronger lead on this section right here. Because from a female point of view, here’s the thing. And we’re going to talk about what a man can do to support but as a man, all we can really do is support and it’s really up to her to get herself back in balance, we can support her as best we can.

Nancy Parker 57:54
Radical self-responsibility. And part of that is asking for help when we need it. So slowing down, I mean, we push, push, push, so we just need to kind of slow down, that’s the first thing to the best of our ability to the best of our life circumstances whatever’s going on. If we’re feeling out of balance, we need to take a pause, receive a couple of breaths, and just drop back into our body. So that’s the first thing I do as I just like to breathe and check-in. Okay. Making time for personal care, self-care, could look like I have this concept I talk about all the time working in versus working out. So yen versus young or that masculine versus feminine. When we’re out of balance, it’s not necessarily the right time to push through an intense workout to really like, drain our battery even more, we need to be asking what’s going to put more energy into our body savings account, right? So gentle stretching, yen, yoga, chi gong, and a release worth massage baths, like what sorts of things are actually going to help stat replenish our energetic bank accounts?

Kevin Anthony 59:03
That’s really huge. I love that point. Because our society is telling women that just need to push harder. Yeah. And that’s absolutely the worst thing you can do.

Nancy Parker 59:10
100% every time, in my personal experience, and in working with all the people I’ve worked with over the years.

Kevin Anthony 59:17
That doesn’t mean going out for a jog or something can’t be considered personal care, and you shouldn’t do that. But it’s that idea of push, push, push.

Nancy Parker 59:26
Yeah. Yeah. And if you’re really out of balance, it may not be the best time for an intense run. Yeah, right. There are other types of exercise, again, that you can do that still are going to help express some of those stress hormones out of your body and help clear them that that is actually going to also put some resource in your body versus draining the bank account. Get out in nature. So one of the things when I would have bad PMS I would just go outside and put my belly on the earth and breathe and 9.9 times out of 10 when I would do that if I would just stay there for five or 10 or sometimes 15 minutes, my cramps would completely dissipate.

Kevin Anthony 1:00:06
That’s really interesting. You say that because there’s a whole class now of devices called P EMF devices. And P E basically what they are EMF, it sounds bad because we’re, we’re all yeah masterbatch. But basically what they do is they generate the same frequency as the Earth.

Nancy Parker 1:00:25
This is an earthing technology is what you’re speaking to?

Kevin Anthony 1:00:28
Yeah, they’re not earthing, in a sense that, like, if you touch it, it’s going to ground any energy that you have, you know, like, like your antenna grounds your house or something like that. But it’s basically exposing you to that same very low frequency of the earth. So it’s basically it’s a way of without being able to get outside and like put your belly on the ground, if it’s a winter in Minnesota, right? But that’s the idea about it. And so the reason why I say this is there’s science behind actually going out and laying your belly on the, on the ground.

Nancy Parker 1:00:59
Yeah, and if it’s winter, bundle up, and you know, go enjoy the snow for five minutes or so and then get back inside. I do live in SoCal here. So we’re kind of spoiled. Diet and lifestyle is huge. I know, the minute I’m starting to feel out of balance, I’m cutting sugar, I’m cutting coffee, these are not things anybody wants to hear, right alcohol, all the things we normally reach for when we’re stressed, are actually just perpetuating that out of balance. So coming back into really taking care of your diet and your lifestyle limiting stimulants like alcohol, caffeine, sugar, to the you know, to the best of your ability, maybe switch to green tea, that time of when you’re in that state, ladies, keep going self-reflection. So slowing down and breathing, it’s a good time to journal meditate, and connect with your womb, whether you literally have one, or it’s been removed, you still have that womb space.

I teach all these things and some Moon time rituals. So to the women in my Resource Program, these are all ways we can just bring ourselves back into balance. First we self-reflect and then we ask for reflection from connection with other women, which is what’s next on the list. We know when we gather, we get to have a group mind, we get to have a group heart, and we get that group feel to actually help support us. And to give us some feedback and reflection that we might not be able to see ourselves because it’s in our shadow. And finally, get your hormones checked. Ladies, this is so real, so legit. It’s not all in your head. There are some things that can help. And knowing your numbers is super important, especially as you start I mean through your whole life cycle. But as you start to meet, you know, midlife and transition into, you know, past Perry and into menopause. It’s really important to know your numbers and how to support yourself.

Kevin Anthony 1:02:51
Yeah, and I would add to that, for many women, perimenopause starts way earlier than they realize. And it can even be in your 30s. And some women are like this can’t possibly have anything to do with menopause. I’m way too young for that. No, it could be a decade before you think it’s actually affecting you. It can affect you. So getting those numbers checked. I did two episodes in this show with two different doctors on bioidentical hormones. If you want more information, go look those episodes up. I don’t remember what numbers they are at the moment. But they were great. And they can give you some good, basic starting knowledge on what to do if you think your hormones are out of balance. Okay, so that is how do you get back into balance? Thank you for that. Those were all wonderful suggestions. What about once you get there? How do you stay there, so you don’t have the constant ups and downs?

Nancy Parker 1:03:51
Well, obviously some of those same things we just talked about would be important to continue doing. But also, these are long-term habit changes we’re talking about. So it’s not just like cutting out the crap processed food filled with food additives that trigger you know, weird transmitters and inside of you know, that, that stimulate your neurotransmitters to freak out and chaos. Like you need to make ongoing changes in your habits, in your sleep cycles in your diet, in your nutrition and how you move in, you’re making time on the regular for quiet space for meditation for you know, so changing your habits, ongoing, right community support, again, we talked about gathering and women’s circles, but community support, you know, maybe it’s some sort of self help self help group or some other church community or, you know, whatever feels like it’s actually a web of support, you know, above and beyond just being able to, you know, talk and talk about women’s things.

Kevin Anthony 1:04:58
Yeah, you know, I guess the big part of how you stay in balance is not waiting until you get out of balance. So you’re right, a lot of the things that we talked about a how to get back into balance are ongoing things that you should do, to try to stay there with the addition of a few things on this list as well.

Nancy Parker 1:05:18
And then get support from a trusted adviser a therapist or a coach from someone who’s walked that path before you and learned the hard way.

Kevin Anthony 1:05:27
Exactly, exactly. No need for you to recreate the wheel.

Nancy Parker 1:05:33
Hey, Kevin, what can men do to support their women?

Kevin Anthony 1:05:36
That is a great question. I’m so glad you asked. It’s not like it was right here on the list or anything. Okay, so what what can men do to support their women, obviously, if your woman’s out of balance, there’s nothing more you want as a man, then for her to get back in balance, her life will be better your life will be better the entire life around the house with the family will be better if she isn’t balanced. So you want to do what you can to help support her. Number one. Don’t tell her she’s out of balance. Probably the worst thing you can do is, oh, yeah, well, you’re just out of balance right now. You’re likely to get slapped. And it’s only going to put her more out of balance. So the first one isn’t so much what you can do, it’s what you shouldn’t do.

Nancy Parker 1:06:21
But what you could do instead is you know, be compassionate.

Kevin Anthony 1:06:25
Yes. It does say that don’t tell her she’s out of balance dash compassion. Yes, you do. Next don’t make assumptions. Ask her what she needs. So this is something you know, as men we go into fix-it mode. And she’s out of balance. We go okay, here’s what you need. Well, how do we know what you need to remember all the different reasons why she could be out of balance? We don’t necessarily know what is going on. So obviously if you don’t know, the first thing you should do is ask. That’s a great idea in a compassionate way. The next one is to know her love language and give her that we have done an entire episode on Love Languages in this show. If you’re not familiar with them, go listen to that go by the book on love languages. We didn’t create it we were just showcasing that information. It’s really really great to know what her primary love languages are and even her secondaries and provide them for her.

You know she might be out of balance because she’s bent out of shape that you haven’t appreciated her in 10 years you know, I haven’t touched her or haven’t touched her and her love languages maybe words of affirmation in touch. So knowing those and giving those to her can really help give her space or attention depending on what she needs. And of course, you can help her co-regulate breathing belly to belly Cuddles, orgasms, orgasms. That’s right. But I want to really make the point is space or attention. And this is why it’s important to ask she may be like I just need some space right now because maybe she doesn’t get any space she’s nonstop with the kids with you whatever. Maybe space is really what she needs and maybe what she really needs is your attention. So this is why asking is very important. And of course, do not underestimate the value of a good orgasm thank you for doing so. If you told them I put it on the list they probably be mad at me.

Nancy Parker 1:08:39
I mean all those positive hormones you can get through touch through cuddles through long extended hugs but the oxytocin serotonin and dopamine that are released in any of those ways when you help her co-regulate whether it’s with cuddles or with breathing together or with orgasms, right, sure to help bring things back into balance.

Kevin Anthony 1:08:57
Yes. Next on the list be supportive. So what does that mean? Well, that might mean doing a few extra chores so she doesn’t have so many things to do it might mean taking the kids for a while and giving her time to do that self-care stuff that she never has time to do but find ways a lot of times guys don’t think about this because they think that there’s something that they got to fix here on the person what do I got to do here? But maybe the thing is actually over here maybe it’s your fault the laundry you know, maybe it’s you’ll take the kids to the park for two hours. You know, like that kind of stuff.

Nancy Parker 1:09:35
Maybe it’s you’ll pick up takeout so she doesn’t have to worry about what’s for dinner.

Kevin Anthony 1:09:39
Yes, exactly. All right, and the last one on the list, take charge and make decisions so that she can relax into her feminine. I have talked a lot on this show about like what women want from their men and how to step up and be the man that they want. And this is always one of the things no matter how I phrase that A subject that I’m talking about is how to just take charge and make decisions. And we talked a little bit about this earlier on the show. It’s not, we’re doing this, it’s, I have a plan, how about we do this?

Nancy Parker 1:10:12
You’re really good at that.

Kevin Anthony 1:10:13
Thank you. All right. So those are some things that you as a man can do to help support your woman. I’m not saying that these things are going to magically make everything better, but they are absolutely going to help, the more you can do those, the more space you’re going to give her to be able to get back into balance, she’s still going to have to step up and do the work herself. But this is really going to help. All right. Are there any last words that you would like to give to men or women about being in balance, how to get there, how to stay there, how to support each other any last thing you want to share?

Nancy Parker 1:10:52
I think what comes up for me when you ask that is kind of where we started. And that it’s really important not to go into judgment of self or others if we’re feeling out of balance, or if you’re noticing your woman out of balance, but really to go into especially in your own body as a woman to go into that space of allowance of noticing and of compassion. Just like if a child were having an emotional, you know, outburst or you know, feeling they didn’t get their nap and they’re more tired. You’re going to approach that child with loving compassion, with some acceptance. And I’m just inviting you to give that same thing to yourself or to your woman. And yeah, remember to breathe.

Kevin Anthony 1:11:38
Excellent. So you do this work. You work with women, you help women become more balanced to stay in balance. If somebody is interested in working with you, how do they find out more about your work and what you do?

Nancy Parker 1:11:53
Yeah, you can find me at inbodywisdom.com That’s I N bodywisdom.com. And the resource energy Mastery program for women is at inbodywisdom.com/resource.

Kevin Anthony 1:12:08
Those links are in the description. So if you need help being balanced in your life, then please go check those out. Nancy, I want to thank you for coming on the Love Lab podcast and sharing your wisdom about a healthy, balanced feminine.

Nancy Parker 1:12:24
Thank you for inviting me.

Kevin Anthony 1:12:25
You’re welcome. All right, everybody. That’s all the time I have for this episode. And I will see you next week.

I hope you liked this episode of the Love Lab podcast. If you enjoy this show, subscribe. Leave us a review and share it with your friends. And for more free exclusive content. Join me in the passion bowl at Kevin and Céline dot com forward slash vote. That’s Kevin and Céline dot com forward slash full. Thanks for listening. And remember, as Céline used to say you’re amazing!