Welcome to the Love Lab podcast. The place to be for honest and real talk about relationships and sex. Whether you’re a man or woman, single or a couple, this is the show for you. I am your host, Kevin Anthony, and I am here to help you have the relationship of your dreams and the best sex of your life. All right, welcome back to the Love Lab podcast. This is episode 366, and it is titled the Straight Guide to Backdoor Sex.
This idea, this topic actually comes as a request from a listener slash viewer who wanted to know more about this subject. Now, Céline and I did do an episode, uh, on anal sex somewhere back in the early 200ish number of episodes. So I’m going to use some of that information, but I’m also going to incorporate some new stuff. It’s been a long time since we’ve talked about it on this show. Uh, and looking back on those old notes, I felt there was more that could have been shared in that early episode.
So that’s what we’re going to talk about today. I’m going to do my best to talk about this subject and not get in trouble with YouTube. The podcast platforms generally aren’t a problem. We can still say what we want there. But my show also goes on YouTube, and I have to be careful what I say there. I will do my best to cover this topic in a way that is informative, gives you as many perspectives as possible, and treats the subject from a point of view where, whether you’re for it or against it, you don’t walk away going, Oh my God.
I want it to be as fair as I can be is the point. So that’s what I’m going to do today. And before I get started, a word from my sponsors. Ladies, did you know that the overwhelming majority of men consider receiving oral sex a must in their relationship? Well, of course you did, because men have been asking you for your whole life. But do you feel confident in your ability to give great oral sex?
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That is https://www.powerandmastery.com/sexual-mastery that way. We have a course for the ladies, and we have a course for the gentlemen. Something for everybody here. All right, let’s dive right into this topic. We are talking about anal sex today. And something we didn’t cover in the podcast we did, uh, you know, a couple of years ago on this was why do so many men want anal sex?
You hear this from women all the time, that, you know, their man keeps asking for it or he’s pressuring her for it. Why do men want this so badly? And it’s interesting because as a man who has had both, I can honestly say that, you know, traditional sex, the way our bodies were designed, with a penis and a vagina, is far better. And there are reasons for that. One of the reasons is that, you know, in the anus, there are two rings of muscles.
But in the vagina, you’ve got muscles surrounding the entire vaginal canal. And if a woman has taken time to really learn how to develop those muscles, she can create significantly better sensations, um, than the anus can. Another thing is, if you’re, you know, depending on her anatomy and your anatomy, if you’re able to reach, uh, her cervix, that is another, uh, feeling that can be very pleasurable for both you and her that you can’t get from anal sex, uh, obviously. And we’ll talk about this later, but, you know, the anus does not self-lubricate. The vagina does, so you have more lubrication there.
And I also think that there’s an energetic piece to, you know, sex with a penis in a vagina that is very powerful, that is also missing from anal. So, you know, those are some reasons why I think that regular sex is a lot better. So then the question comes back to, why do so many men want it? If it’s not as good, why do so many men want it? The first answer to that question is because it’s taboo.
Because it’s something that, you know, you’re not really supposed to do. Something a lot of people don’t talk about, uh, something that maybe certain belief systems might frown upon. Something that you don’t get to do very often. I mean, that, that is, that is the number one reason why most men want it, because it’s taboo. And we know that anytime you restrict something or suppress something, it creates a desire for that thing.
And I think that’s really what’s happening here is a lot of men, especially young men who’ve never had it before, they fantasize about it because they’ve never had it and because they’re told that somehow, um, maybe it’s wrong. And because they see it in porn, and they’re like, oh my God, she’s absolutely loving it in porn. I want to be able to do that. That’s the number one reason. Because it’s taboo.
There are a couple of other reasons, though. There’s obviously no risk of pregnancy, uh, which also means that a man can feel free to ejaculate inside her, which is a feeling that is, uh, good for him. And it doesn’t technically end a woman’s virginity. Well, according to some, at least, anyway. So those are some reasons why a lot of men want anal sex.
But the other side of the coin is right. So I mentioned that we always hear women say, well, he’s always asking for it. He really wants to do it. I’m not sure, blah, blah, blah. We hear from women that there’s a lot of pressure on them to have anal sex.
But we also hear often, uh, either from the ladies themselves or from the men who are doing the pressuring, that a lot of women are hesitant to have anal sex. So then the question is, why are so many women hesitant to have anal sex? Well, I wouldn’t ask the question if I didn’t have a list. All right, number one, and this is the one that you hear most often from most women. It can be painful.
Most women’s fear is that it can be painful. And it often is, especially the first time. Uh, it does take some practice for the woman who is receiving to really learn how to relax and trust. And it also takes a great deal of consciousness and care on the man’s part to do it in a way that does. Does not cause pain. So that’s the number one reason why women are hesitant.
But there are others. Many feel that it’s dirty. Uh, there’s a lack of trust in the man. Uh, because, uh, it can be, uh, rather tight because it can be difficult for them to really relax into it. You know, there is a possibility that if he’s not really being conscious, if he’s not really, you know, paying attention, he might go too fast, too hard.
Uh, you know, the way he enters can be painful. So a lot of women don’t necessarily trust that their man is going to have the skill to navigate that in a way that will make it comfortable and potentially pleasurable for her. Of course, most women are worried about poop. Uh, and that is a thing. No way around that. We’ll talk about that more later.
Uh, and some do believe that it goes against their spiritual beliefs, which is the next thing that we’re going to talk about, because I have some really interesting information on anal sex and spirituality that, uh, you may or may not have heard before. But before we get there, I just kind of want to sum up. Those are some of the reasons why women are hesitant, and they’re valid reasons. They’re all absolutely valid reasons. And it’s important to understand for both men and women, why men want it so much and why many women are hesitant.
If you can understand those things, it is so much easier to work together to figure out whether or not this is something that you want to do. So women, uh, if you can understand why, what is driving it, why men want it so bad, that can help you feel a little bit better about, okay, you know, maybe it is just a thing that he wants to do because he’s never done it and, you know, he just needs to get that out of his system. Or, hey, maybe this is, you know, a way that we could experience, you know, ejaculating in inside without having to worry about pregnancy. Whatever it is, at least you would have a better understanding of why he’s asking for it.
And men, if you can really understand what it’s like to be on the receiving end of it, uh, then you can have a lot more compassion for why she may be hesitant to do it. And you will have a better idea of what you need to do if you do decide to do it, as far as making it a pleasurable experience. You know, it’s funny, I just said something about if you can understand what it’s like to be on the receiving end. And that just reminded me in this moment that, uh, many, many, many shows ago, I don’t even know how many ago, Celine and I did an episode where we had a friend of ours, uh, on the show. And he had written an article that just went viral on the Internet.
And the article was called Why Straight Men Should Take it up the Ass. And he was basically talking about, you know, what men would learn from that experience. And that, that totally just popped into my mind right now in this moment. If you’re curious about that, I believe I just gave you the correct title. You can look it up, uh, in my archive of shows. You can also search for it on the Internet.
I’m sure you’ll find his original article on that. Okay, so we covered why so many men want it and why so many women are hesitant. I wanted in this show again to talk about something I didn’t talk about in the previous episode I did on this, which is what does religion say about it? Because you hear a lot of conflicting advice as to what different religions say about the act of anal sex. And I like people to have as much information as they can possibly have so that they can make a decision that is right for them.
So I have some information on what Christianity says, what Judaism says, and what Islam says, three of the major world religions that will give you a bit of an idea as to what they each think about the act of anal sex. So I’m going to start with Christianity. Uh, it’s probably the bulk of people who listen to my, uh, content. Um, if they are religious. They’re most likely Christian Christians only because the primary people who listen to this are English-speaking, which would be, you know, the United States, uh, England, Australia.
I can see in the demographics that’s the majority, but I do have listeners all over the world because there are English-speaking people all around. Um, but those would be the majority, and those are primarily Christian, um, populations. So I’m going to start there, but I’m also going to cover the other two that I just mentioned. So what does Christianity say about anal sex? I got to read a few things to you so I make sure that we get this right.
Okay? The term sodomy does not occur in the Bible. The term itself comes from the story of Lot and Sodom and Gomorrah, which is Genesis 19. In this account, a large group of men seeks to commit homosexual sin with two angels who appeared in the form of men. Uh, the clear indication of that is that these men desired forcible sex with the angels. Lot prevented them, but the men kept pressing forward.
The, uh, angels rescued Lot and caused blindness among the men. So, although the term anal sex is not mentioned in this story, uh, anal sex became known as the sin of Sodom or sodomy. Now, in common use, the term has changed a bit to include more than just homosexual anal sex, but also anal and oral copulation with a member of the opposite sex, copulation with a member of the same sex, and bestiality. But, uh, so that’s kind of more the modern term, but the biblical definition, uh, is basically homosexual anal sex. So in biblical language, sodomy is homosexual anal sex.
Um, so the sin of sodomy does not refer to anal sex between a husband and wife in marriage. So when you hear people say that sodomy is against the Christian religion. Yes, but you have to understand what the Christian religion defines as sodomy, which is homosexual anal sex. Now, I know I do have, um, LGBTQ plus people who listen to my show. And I just want to say in this moment, I am not making a judgment on this either way.
I am simply telling people what the, uh, religions say about it. And I just want people to have the information that they need. And again, my audience is primarily, not totally, but primarily heterosexual, uh, uh, a lot of couples. So the information on the show generally skews in that direction because that’s the majority of people who are listening. However, when we get into how to do it, pretty much everything that I talk about would apply, whether it’s, you know, same sex, anal sex or heterosexual anal sex.
So just keep that in mind. All right, so back to what Christianity says about anal sex. The Bible never actually mentions it at all. Doesn’t say anything about it. So. By the way, this information I’ve been reading here, uh, actually comes from a website called kevincarson.com.
Uh, he wrote an article called What Does the Bible Say about Anal Sex? And actually, I thought it was really well done. It was really well thought out, and it did an excellent job of explaining, uh, what the Bible says and then a whole bunch of additional considerations if you are a Christian. I’m not going to go into all of that. You can go check that out, uh, if you want to read more.
But, you know, when I use information that comes from somebody else, I like to, you know, give them credit for that. Um, and so I just wanted to make sure that I mentioned that. Okay, so as I said, the Bible never mentions anal sex at all. Now, what Kevin, uh, the other Kevin from KevinCarson.com, what he wrote in here is that, uh, as followers of Christ, we should not declare a particular thing sin when the Bible does not call it a sin, nor should we ever declare a specific thing not a sin, if in fact the Bible does declare it a sin.
So in this case, the Bible never mentions it. Therefore, we cannot turn a particular. Turn to a particular verse or specifically call anal sex a sin. M. So basically, what does Christianity say about it? Pretty much says nothing. The only thing it talks about is homosexual anal sex and says that that is wrong.
That’s it. That’s all it says. So if you are a Christian and you are feeling like, you know, somehow guilty about it or whatever, you can be rest assured the Bible doesn’t say anything about it. Now, if you want to read the rest of Kevin Carson’s article, he goes into some additional considerations because he basically says, well, all right, even though it may not be a sin, here are some things that sort of need to be present for it to be considered. Right? And there’s a.
There’s a list of five or six things like, you know, stuff like what your intention is, you know, if your intention is to create pleasure versus, you know, something other than that, uh, it might be wrong. Right? And so some ideas like that, which I think a lot of those ideas apply to pretty much anything in the sexual realm, not just anal sex. Like, it should be consensual. You know, the intent behind it should be for love and for pleasure. So that kind of stuff. So that is what Christianity has to say about It.
What about Judaism? Uh, I’m going to read a little piece about that as well. It says most Russian. Um, excuse me if I totally mispronounce this. Rishanim, explain that when a couple engages in anal intercourse in order to avoid pregnancy, it is considered a waste of seed and is forbidden. However, if they engage in it occasionally, it is not prohibited.
Some explain that the sages permitted anal sexual intercourse as long as the husband does not ejaculate in the anus. Rather, the couple must later engage in vaginal intercourse culminating in ejaculation. Um, so that’s basically a, uh, summary of what I found. I found several different, uh, references, uh, on the web researching this, that basically said the same thing. Honestly, I couldn’t pronounce where that one came from.
Uh, it was some, uh, it was a reference to, um, things within Judaism, and I, I couldn’t pronounce it, so I left it out. But, uh, it wasn’t a specific article anybody read. It was more like a reference, uh, sort of online reference library. Okay, so basically the answer then, according to Judaism, is that it could be okay, it might not be okay. It sort of depends. Uh, so there you go.
Now again, you, if you are Jewish and you. This is something you thought you might want to do, uh, from what I’ve read, from what I can tell, and you know, if somebody is a better scholar on this than I, which probably anybody who’s really studied it, um, uh, if you know better or you know, you have a different idea, uh, feel free to let people know in the comments. But from what I, uh, found online, it certainly seems to me that it is okay. Um, and in some circumstances, it’s okay as long as you don’t ejaculate in her. All right. Lastly, what does Islam have to say about it?
Uh, I’m going to read a passage from the Quran which basically says it all, your wives are a tilth for you. So go to your tilth. Have sexual relations with your wives in any manner as long as it is in the vagina and not, uh, in the anus, when or how you will, and send good deeds, or ask Allah to bestow upon you pious offerings for your own selves beforehand. There are a few. There’s another line or two to that, but I think the relevant section here is that you can have sexual relations with your wife in any manner as long as it’s in the vagina, not in the anus.
So that would mean that for Islam, it would be forbidden. So I just. The whole point of that was just to talk about like the m. Major religions, especially in the countries, uh, that typically listen to my show. These would be the major religions that most people would identify with. I know there are others.
Um, this is not specifically, ah, a show about spirituality and anal sex, but I want to at least give you some idea of what the major religions feel, uh, about anal sex. So, um, unless you are, uh, of Islamic faith, um, you should be good to go. So hopefully that just makes you feel a little bit more at ease, uh, if this is something that you were considering doing. Um, you know, speaking of the Christian religion, I forgot to mention this when I was talking about it. There is a video, uh, called God’s Loophole.
And it’s a comedy video, but it’s basically talking about a trend that apparently was occurring at the time this video was created, which was quite a few years back, where Christian people were, uh, having anal sex instead of vaginal intercourse because, um, premarital vaginal intercourse was forbidden. But, ah, anal sex was not. And it’s, it’s a pretty hilarious video. I’ve referenced it before. So if you just want a really good laugh, go, uh, watch that video because it’s very well done and it is very funny.
Um, I’ll just leave it at that. Okay, let’s take a short break, and then when we come back, I want to talk about the ground rules for butt play. There are nine of them. And then how to prepare for it, what to do if there’s discomfort, and what the best positions are. For analytical, um, are your relationship and sex life where you want them to be?
Are there changes you would like to make but just don’t know how? Maybe you think there is nothing that can be done. If you’re not 100% happy with where your relationship ends and your sex life are, then get help today and change your life. Go to https://www.kevinanthonycoaching.com/couples/ and schedule. Schedule a strategy call with me today so we can map out a strategy to get you where you want to be, so you can have it all your way.
That is https://www.kevinanthonycoaching.com/couples/ and book your strategy call today. Of course, I chose the ad for couples today because we are talking about couples having anal sex. So that is something that we could cover if we worked together. I have to say it’s not something I cover very often with couples. Very few of them come to me saying this is something they want to learn, but anything is possible. And if that’s something that you do want to get, uh, some help with. I can certainly help you with it.
All right, let’s dive into the nine ground rules for anal sex or any but play in general. Number one, make sure you really want to try it. I talked at the beginning of this show about why so many men want it, why so many women are hesitant. And the scenario that you often hear here is that the guy is pressuring the woman to do it, and she doesn’t really want to do it, but eventually she gets tired of, you know, him asking for it and just wants to get it over with and says, okay, fine, just do it. I don’t think that is the time that you should be doing it.
I think both of you should at least want to try it enough that you’re willing to do it of your own free will without any pressure or coercion. And trust me, guys, I know it seems like, you know, such an amazing thing that you just have to do if you, if you have the kind of sex vaginally that I describe on this show, often that amazing, mind blowing out of this world, you know, just kind of sex where you can’t even walk across the room after you’re done. If you’re having that kind of sex, you won’t really care whether or not you’ve had anal. Honestly, that’s my personal opinion. But anyway, all of that to say that both people should really want to do it, and if one or the other doesn’t want to do it, then just take it off the table, it’s okay.
There are other ways. If you know, let’s say it’s the woman who wants to do it and the man who doesn’t want to do it. You know, there are. Use toys instead. We’ll talk about that. Uh, there are other ways to potentially get those needs met. Number two, have conversations with your partner ahead of time. Like, sit down and talk about it.
Don’t just like in the middle of making love, be like, flip over, honey. I, uh, want to stick it in your ass. You know, that’s not the time. If you’ve never had this conversation before, um, so make sure that you have that conversation. You know, if this is something that you really want to do, you know, sit down, talk to each other about it.
You know, is this something you would be open to? If so, what would you need to do it? Um, when would you want to do it? Like, in other words, sometimes, you know, she might say, well, you know, either I’ve never done it before and I’m interested in it, or I’ve done it once or twice. I didn’t particularly have a good experience, but with you, I think it might be different, so I’d be willing to try it.
So she might say something like that. And if that’s the case, then you just say, okay, let me know when you’re ready. Like when you feel like today might be the day. Don’t take that to mean, all right, well, then it’s on. Next time we have sex, we’re for sure doing it. It doesn’t mean that. Just means that at some point, when she feels ready, she’s open to it.
And you can figure all of that out by simply having that conversation. Number three, I remember when we wrote this line, which says, poop happens. Let it go. Literally and figuratively, one. And we’ll talk about this in a moment. But part of the preparation is two to go.
Like, go beforehand, make sure you’ve gone that day. But the other, that’s the literal part. The figurative part is, you know, it’s the anus. There’s a high likelihood that, even if you’ve cleaned really well, there might be a little poop there. And if you are willing to try this, you’re just going to have to get comfortable with the fact that there might be some there.
Number four, use protection, gloves, and condoms. I think this is actually really important if you’re, you know, I mean, fingers, okay, you can get away with fingers in there without using gloves. Although gloves would be better, especially if you have long nails. Uh, and then I think condoms are really a must here, just for cleanliness purposes. I know people do it without, uh, it’s my recommendation to do that.
Use condoms, use gloves. I think it makes a better experience for all involved. And the nice thing, too, is that afterwards, you can move on to other sex acts without having to go clean up and shower. Because you can just take the condom off. You can take the gloves off, discard those, and move on.
Number five, put down a dark towel or waterproof blanket so you keep the sheets clean. You gotta. You’ve got to do more preparation. And this is another place where guys go wrong. It’s just like, you know, you’re really in the mood and you’re really doing, you know, whatever it is you’re doing. And then you’re like, Honey, you know, let’s have anal sex.
And it’s like, whoa, whoa. We didn’t properly prepare. We don’t have anything down on the bed. I didn’t clean. Like, you just can’t spring it on her like that. This is something that’s going to take some preparation, so make sure that you have the things that you need. Uh, number six, it would be best to start with fingers or toys.
Something smaller than a penis to help ease, uh, relax the muscles. Uh, get her more comfortable, a bit more turned on by it. Um, that starts out pleasurable instead of starting out painful. Uh, so that really is a pro tip there. Start with something smaller, like a finger or a small toy, not a big one.
Don’t get the biggest dildo you have and be like, I’m gonna warm you up, honey. Start with something small. And of course, number seven, use lots of lube. Lots of lube, Lots of lube. Remember, the anus is not self-lubricating, so you’re going to need lube. It’s your friend for both of you.
Number eight, don’t push your or her limits. Just go slow. Even though you may have warmed her up with a finger or toys, even though you’ve got lots of lube, penetrate very slowly, a little bit at a time. Allow the muscles to gradually release and allow you in. Do not force yourself in. And it’s hard sometimes as a guy, it’s hard to tell how much is enough, how, uh, much is too much.
So this is where good communication between the two of you is very helpful. You get to communicate with each other, and they like, oh, uh, please pause for a moment. Go a little slower. Hold on, let me take a couple of breaths. Let me relax into it. Whatever it is, communication, and as a man, you can say, is that okay?
How does that feel? Do you need me to go slower? That is important. And then number nine, make sure that you clean up afterwards, meaning never going from, you know, the ass to, uh, you know, the vagina or anything like that without some level of cleanup. Uh, obviously, you know, if you were not using a condom or gloves, then absolutely soap and water, clean up, get up, take the time, go over, wash up a little bit, then come back.
Uh, if you were using protection, you know, you’ll have to kind of guess there. I mean, if things were relatively clean and you didn’t touch anything, uh, you know, with your bare hands or bare penis, you’re probably okay to move to other things. If you want to be on the safe side, by all means, do a quick rinse. It’s not a big deal. It’s okay. Uh, it will put both of you at much more ease.
Uh, you won’t have to worry about anything, and she’ll still be turned on when you come back. Uh, if you lose your Erection, it will come back. So you don’t have to worry about things like that. So when in doubt, always err on the side of more cleanliness, more safety. That makes everybody feel a lot more comfortable. So there you go. Those are the nine ground rules.
They’re just basic rules for like if you want to try this, just follow some basic rules so that you can make it a good experience for both parties. Ultimately, whether you only do it this one time or you do it, you know, every so often, or you do it every time you have sex, whatever the frequency is, you want it to be a positive experience for both people. So follow the nine ground rules. All right, let’s talk a little bit about how to prepare. Now. We kind of did that in the nine ground rules, right?
Make sure you want to, you really want to be doing it. Have conversations, uh, put down the towel like that. That stuff is prep. But I want to talk a little bit about specifically how the woman might prepare for this. One of the things you will hear from women when you ask them, they’re like, oh my God, not right now.
I didn’t prepare for this. Right. Which I’ve mentioned a couple of times already. How, what does she mean by that? How would she prepare for such a thing? Well, number one, make sure that she’s had a bowel movement and she feels empty.
That, that’s pretty much a no-brainer. Just, just making space. Uh, and not even just making space, but making sure she feels like if she really relaxes those muscles, she’s not going to have an accidental bowel movement. I mean, that’s the thing that absolutely freaks women out the most. So that would be prep.
Number one. Uh, some people ask, you know, should we use like a syringe or should I do an enema beforehand? You can, you can, uh, you will hear female porn stars say that that’s what they do, that they do enemas before they’re going to do an anal scene. Um, nothing wrong with that. Just make sure that you have actually gotten all of it out.
Otherwise, you could make things messier. Your intention to try to make things cleaner could actually make things messier. If you don’t make sure you’ve really gotten it all out. Uh, so that’s something to consider, of course. You know, make sure that you wash really well beforehand.
And another little trick is if you are in the shower, wash really well with soap and water. Get a finger really soapy and actually insert it in your ass with soap and water. Obviously, gentle soap. You shouldn’t be using anything chemical anyway. Um, all of that will help clean things and make you feel comfortable, uh, to potentially embark on this adventure.
So those are some things that you can do to prepare. Most women will definitely want to do those things ahead of time, which is why it’s important to have conversations about, hey, you know what? I’ve really been in the mood. I think tonight’s the night, and I’m gonna prepare ahead of time before we attempt this. All right, next, what happens if you are attempting this and there is discomfort?
A couple of tips for that. Uh, some discomfort is normal, especially if your anus isn’t used to being penetrated. So in this situation, try adding more lube, changing the technique, or position. I said this already earlier, but the number one thing is to just go slowly, slowly, use lots of lube, penetrate very slowly. Allow her muscles to relax, which may take time, and may take more time for some than others.
And then even once she has relaxed and maybe you’re fully penetrating her, go slow, follow her lead. She will let you know when she wants more. Maybe it’s faster thrusts or deeper or whatever. So just take it slow. That’s the number one thing.
If you are doing all of those things and it’s still really uncomfortable, then just stop. Just stop. It most likely means that, you know, she just hasn’t been able to relax the muscles enough, and that’s okay. It’s, uh, not necessarily an easy thing to do. What you don’t want to do is just say, well, come on, honey, we’re already here.
We’ve done all the prep. We’re so close. Let’s just keep going, because then you’re going to make it an unpleasant experience for her, and she’s never going to want to try it again. Why would she if it’s not pleasurable? Not only that, if it’s not just not pleasurable, but if it’s actually painful and uncomfortable, why in the world would she want to do this again?
So if there is discomfort, slow down, maybe even pause altogether. Maybe try changing position or technique. Maybe go back to using a finger or a small toy. Uh, make it a pleasurable experience. That is just so important, because otherwise, you know, she’s never going to want to do it again.
And who would blame her? So those are some things you can do if there is some discomfort. And the last thing I want to talk about are positions, just to give you a couple of options. So, obviously, most people, when they think of anal sex, they think of doggy style, because that is pretty Obvious, like it’s right there. In fact, sometimes when some people are not trying to do anal sex and they’re penetrating from behind, they end up a little bit in the wrong position.
And you’ll hear her say lower, right? So that’s an obvious one. It’s generally pretty good. Uh, sometimes, though, it can be a little bit challenging for her because she doesn’t get to control the motion. Uh, so, you know, if you, as the man, if you’re in that position, you have to pay extra special, uh, attention to what’s happening there to make sure that what’s happening is okay.
But another position that people don’t think about as often but does work really well, is her on top. And what’s nice about that is she gets to control the speed of the penetration, the depth of the penetration, and how much movement after penetration there is. So that lets her be in control and control all the movement and motion. It also. And, you know, doggy style does this as well.
Both of those positions allow her access to, uh, touch herself. So to give her clit stimulation, uh, or to use a finger or a toy externally or internally on herself, which can really add to the sensation. Uh, so those, uh, both work for that. And then a third position that can also work is the lying down position, where you’re both lying on your side in basically a spooning position, uh, where the man is behind. And that allows you both to be in a very relaxed position where you don’t have to use a lot of muscle energy to hold yourself somewhere.
So if she really needs to be able to relax where she’s not in a position where other muscles are contracting to hold herself in a position or to move, then that is one that could potentially work well. Uh, that one also allows you, as the man, to reach around and stimulate her clitoris, uh, or potentially use a finger inside her or a toy or whatever, uh, to increase the sensation and stimulation for her. So those are three options that generally work well if, uh, you want to do anal sex. So there you go. That is what I call the straight guide to backdoor sex.
Uh, what I hope I accomplished here was to bring some more understanding between men and women about why men want it, about why she’s often hesitant. Also, bring some more understanding around spiritual beliefs and what they say so that we can try to take some of the shame and guilt out of it. You know, sometimes people, it’s something they want to do, but they believe that their spiritual beliefs say something that maybe they don’t even say. And so they feel shame around even wanting or thinking about it. So hopefully we could remove a little bit of that today and then of course, really give you some ground, uh, rules for how to do it, how to prepare for it, what to do if there’s discomfort, and some great positions.
So that’s, I think, a pretty good all-around primer on anal sex. If it’s something that, uh, you’ve been thinking about or wanting to try or have tried in the past, and maybe it wasn’t that great, but, you know, you’re listening to this and thinking, oh, well, we didn’t do all these things. Maybe it would be different. I hope that you found this helpful. All right, everybody, that’s all the time I have for this episode, and I will see you next week.
I hope you liked this episode of the Love Lab podcast. If you enjoy this show, subscribe, leave me a review, and share it with your friends. And for more free exclusive content, join me in the passion vault at https://www.kevinanthonycoaching.com/vault/. That’s https://www.kevinanthonycoaching.com/vault/. Thanks for listening and remember, as Celine used to say, you’re amazing!
