Kevin Anthony 0:05
Welcome to the Love Lab podcast, the place to be for honest and real talk about relationships and sex, whether you’re a man or woman, single or a couple, this is the show for you. I am your host, Kevin Anthony, and I am here to help you have the relationship of your dreams and the best sex of your life.

All right, welcome back to the Love Lab podcast. This is episode 353 and it is titled orgasm stats, who is who isn’t, how and why. So in this episode, I’m going to be covering, obviously, stats on orgasms. And, you know, I get this from time to time, different you know, organizations or companies will send me links or emails or whatever with they’re kind of like press releases or news stories on a particular topic, because they’re hoping that I’ll do a show on it, and, you know, their name will get out there. I rarely, actually ever, use those for shows. But this one caught my attention, and you know, they sent it to me quite a long time ago, but I’ve been so booked and had so many guests that I haven’t really had time to get to it.

But it is something that caught my attention, and I thought it was something that you might find interesting. And so I have a lot of statistics on orgasms, you know, everything from, you know, how many women are orgasming from vaginal intercourse alone? Does the gender gap or sexual orientation have anything to do with it? What about relationship status? How many people have multiple orgasms, both men and women? How many people fake orgasms? There’s just, there’s so, so much here. What activities tend to produce the best results, such as, you know, masturbation, or anal sex, or oral sex, or vibrator usage, or there’s, there’s a lot of stuff here. So what I’m going to do in this episode is we’re going to read some of the stats, and then I’m going to give you my opinion as to why I think they are the way they are, and potentially where applicable, what you could potentially do if it’s a problem to Solve that problem, right?

So in other words, if you’re in the category of women who don’t generally orgasm during intercourse, right, I’ll share some tips on how you might be able to increase that. So I think it’ll be fun and interesting, just from a curiosity point of view. But there’s also going to be some really good stats, not just stats, but tips on you know, how to experience more and better orgasms. So that is what we will be doing on the show today.

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All right, so the stats here, the information is coming from a website called pleasurebetter.com. Now, pleasurebetter.com is a website that sells sex toys, but they did put together this pretty extensive list of orgasm statistics, and while I didn’t read every. Citation. It seems to be relatively well cited. When I look at the citations for each statistic, it references good references, like authorities in the space a lot of other organizations that have done the actual research. So I would say that this stuff is probably pretty accurate, and I’ll tell you where I think it’s accurate based on my experience as a sex coach and where it’s not. So let’s just dive right in with the top orgasm statistics. So these are the ones that they feel are probably the most interesting to people, although, personally, I think there are some that come later on that are maybe a bit more interesting than these.

But be that as it may, 81.6% of women don’t orgasm from intercourse alone, meaning without additional clitoral stimulation, and only 18.4% of women report that intercourse alone is sufficient to orgasm. I would say that this is probably true. However, you know, I’m going to say, as an expert, you know, in this, that the reason for that is because what a lot of men do is it’s like, oh, it’s time for sex. Spread your legs and let me stick my penis in you. And that’s that, right? And so there just isn’t enough foreplay. There isn’t enough using your hands, using your mouth, touching, massaging, you know, whatever that is. I think the biggest problem why women are not having orgasms during vaginal sex, it’s really that lack of getting her warmed up, getting her prepped, getting her, you know, to the place where, you know, she’s really open and really turned on and really engorged and just craving that penetration, if she’s really craving penetration, then the penetration itself is significantly more likely to give her an orgasm.

Now, nothing is guaranteed, especially with women. You know, even women who tend to orgasm pretty regularly and fairly quickly through, you know, any method, there are times when it’s just not happening for her. Maybe she’s too much in her head. She’s thinking too much about, you know, whatever stuff she’s got going on in her life, or maybe they had an argument earlier in the day, or, who knows, there? There are a lot of things that can potentially affect it, but, you know, I still even even people I know sometimes are like, Oh, come on. I just love just sticking it right in, just going for it. And I’m just like, Have you learned nothing about women in your life. I have had this conversation with people whose partner, their woman, has told them repeatedly, I need more foreplay. You know I need, you know, more stimulation, both you know, mentally, emotionally and physically, and yet, still, the guys are like, Yeah, I know, but I just, you know, I just had to just stick it right in and I just like, Okay, it’s one thing if you didn’t know any better, but when your woman is telling you what she needs in order to enjoy sex, and you’re still not listening to her, that’s a big problem.

So, yeah, that’s what I think is really going on here. You know, there can be other things too. There can be trauma stored in, you know, the vaginal walls. You know, there could be, you know, emotional trauma, but also physical trauma. So there could be things that need to be removed, right? And so the stimulation directly to the inside of the vagina maybe just isn’t enough to do it, whereas the clitoral stimulation will. So, you know, it’s not super cut and dry, there could be a lot of potential factors in there, but I would say, in general, a lot of the time, it has to do with the kind of sex that she’s having, and that is really what is in the way on the other side. And 95% of heterosexual men usually are always orgasm during partnered sexual activity, compared to just 65% of heterosexual women.

I mean, that’s kind of a no-brainer. The biggest challenge we see with men is premature ejaculation, and there is a stat for that later on, which we will get to, but yeah. Easy to see why 95% of men usually always orgasm during sex. That’s kind of a no-brainer. Five to 10% of women have never orgasmed at all. There’s a caveat to this one, though, which says many of these women will later on in life. So I think if you dig deeper into this stat, further in the information they share, you know, a lot of these are younger women. So you know, younger women still haven’t, you know, they haven’t figured out what they like. They tend to be very self-conscious about their sexuality. The partners they’re with tend not to be very skilled.

There can be a lot of shame still, there can be a ton of stuff blocking that orgasm that later on in life they will learn to figure out and solve, and they’ll be able to orgasm after that. 59% of women have faked an orgasm. Well, that’s not surprising at all. A lot of times. Well, actually, I did an entire episode on this show on why women fake orgasms and why they shouldn’t. But usually it’s because they want their man to think that, you know, he did a good job. Sometimes it’s because they just want to get the sex over with. So, you know, if he thinks that she’s orgasmed, he feels he can stop because she’s not into the sex, because it’s not good sex. But you know, it’s not at all surprising to hear that a lot of women have faked an orgasm. You know, if you go listen to that episode that I did on why women fake orgasms? You know, there’s a whole lot more in there as to why women do that and the problems it causes.

But in general, you know, if he thinks you’ve orgasmed and you have, and he thinks he’s done a good job, so where’s the incentive to do any better? You know? So if you’re interested in having sex and you want it to be good and you want it to be better than it has been, don’t fake the orgasm. And if you don’t have an orgasm, don’t blame him or shame him for it. Let’s just let him know what it is that you really need. What do you need in order to have an orgasm, right? And if you’re not even sure, then just have the conversation about, let’s try this, or let’s try that, or let’s see if we do this or that, like, can I get there? All right? This next one I found really interesting, because it is a little different than a stat that I quote very often on this show, and it says women take an average of 14 minutes during partnered sex to orgasm, and an average of eight minutes during masturbation.

Now, if you’ve listened to this show for any amount of time, you have heard me quote this stat more times than I can even count, which is that, you know, in the in the two main studies that were done, they figured out that the average woman took 20 to 30 minutes to achieve an orgasm, and the average man, in one study, it was three to five minutes. The other study was five to seven minutes. I’ve quoted that more times here than I can possibly count. This one is saying women, on average, take 14 minutes. I did look up the citation for this. It was done by a well-credentialed organization. Unfortunately, it was behind a paywall. You have to subscribe to their research materials, so I wasn’t able to actually read exactly how or what, you know, they did the research. But it’s not that far off, honestly, 14 minutes. I would say, my take on that is, if that number has decreased from some of the early research, it’s probably because today we have a lot more tools to employ during sex. So this says an average of 14 minutes during partnered sex. It doesn’t say how, though, right?

My guess is, is that because a lot of people use vibrators during sex, because generally, they won’t orgasm through vaginal sex alone. So, that is my guess that there’s probably a lot of vibrator usage happening, or toys of some sort, because there are some newer ones that aren’t technically vibrators, that also can produce pretty quick and intense orgasms for women. But in either case, it’s still significantly longer than it takes the average man. And so that’s kind of a problem, and it’s something I talk about all the time on this show. This is why I tell men you have to learn to control your ejaculation. It is just a must. It is an absolute must if you want to have great sex with your woman. And it’s not just about getting her to her orgasm, although that is an absolutely worthy goal, that in and of itself is enough reason to learn, but also because if you can last longer yourself, you as a man, can experience more pleasure. So the longer you’re making love, the more you’re experiencing pleasurable sensations. And then as you’re building that energy, potentially having multiple orgasms, and then choosing whether or not you want to ejaculate and having a big orgasmic release, it’s going to be even more powerful and feel even more amazing to you.

I just don’t know how many times I can explain this to men like, if you could just delay the gratification for a little bit, 15 minutes, maybe you will get more at the end, I just, I don’t know how else to explain that to men, but a lot of them still seem to not really get that. So, yeah, you just got to learn. You’ve got to learn to do it is an absolutely critical skill for any man to learn. Also, in this statistic, it says it takes, on average, eight minutes. I’m sure. Well, it’s most likely due to vibrator usage. Not all women masturbate with vibrators, but a lot of them do. I’d say probably the majority of them do. And the vibrators are just it’s really intense direct stimulation to the clitoris and or the G-spot, and it tends to give women orgasms really quickly. So that’s not surprising in any way at all. Okay, so this next section is actually titled, Who is and isn’t orgasming, and so there’s a bunch of stats based on gender and sexual orientation about, you know, the percentages.

So we’re just going to go over these somewhat quickly. They are somewhat interesting. Okay, one major study, 91% of men had orgasms during their most recent sexual encounter, compared to only 64% of women. So we kind of talked about that already. We know men tend to orgasm more because they, well, they honestly tend to not have very good control over their ejaculation. 95% of heterosexual men usually or always orgasm during partnered sexual activity, compared to 65% of heterosexual women. Again, not at all surprising. 86% of homosexual women usually or always orgasm during partnered sexual activity, compared to just 66% of bisexual women and 65% of heterosexual women. I think the reason for that, again, is toy usage. So women in homosexual relationships rely very heavily on toys, whether they be vibrators or strap-ons, also there’d be a lot more oral sex involved, which tends to do it quite well for women.

So I would say that’s why there is a significantly higher number there for homosexual women compared to bisexual or heterosexual let’s see sexual orientation affects orgasm in men less than women, 95% of heterosexual men, 89% of gay men and 88% of bisexual men usually are always orgasm during partnered Sexual activity. This should not surprise us at all, because they’re still men, right? And not a whole lot is changing as far as how they have sex there and then, 77% of asexual women have masturbated, in many of these women have orgasms. So that’s just interesting. Some interesting stats about, you know, gender and sexual orientation. I don’t find there to be anything surprising there whatsoever. So, yeah, no. Need to spend a lot of time on that one. But this, this next section is relationship status, and these are some interesting things that I want to spend a little bit more time on.

So, women in a relationship of six plus months are more than six times as likely to orgasm during a sexual encounter than a woman with a first-time hookup. So the tendency is probably to think, Well, yeah, of course, by the time you’ve been in a relationship for six months, you’ve kind of learned what she likes and you know what she doesn’t like, and, yeah, you’ve gotten to. Know basically what she likes, and you know what to do. Okay, there’s probably some of that in there, but what I think is the biggest contributor to this statistic is the emotional connection. So you know when you’re in a first-time hookup, or even maybe the first couple of times, you haven’t yet established the deep intimacy that most women need to truly open up, to truly let go and really go deep and really access that orgasm. That’s what I think is the biggest contributor.

So by the time you’ve been dating for six months or more, you’ve had a lot more time to establish that deeper level of intimacy, that emotional connection, and this is so important to understand, because I don’t think a lot of men truly realize how important that emotional connection piece is for women, and I understand why, because, as men were wired differently. You know, it’s so easy for us. You know, whether it’s through masturbation, a one-night stand, we can pretty much orgasm anytime, anywhere. Obviously, there are exceptions. If you’ve had prostate surgery or trauma to your genitals, there can be psychological things that get in the way; also, aging and your health can affect your ability to orgasm. But in general, for men, it’s like we can orgasm anywhere, anytime we want. It’s really not that difficult. So it’s hard for a lot of men to understand that women aren’t the same, that they don’t respond the same way. They need different things when it comes to sex and orgasm, and one of the most important things is that intimacy, that emotional connection, and that’s what develops over time.

The next stat in relation to that is that women having sex with a hookup partner for the third to fifth time are 40% more likely to orgasm than from a first-time hookup. So the first time hook-up, you were not that likely. Somewhere between the third and fifth, you’re 40% more likely to hook up six or more times doubles the likelihood of orgasm. So what are we seeing here? The more times you’re with somebody, the more time you spend with them, the more time you have to get to know them and develop intimacy and trust, the more likely she is to orgasm. Honestly, this shouldn’t be rocket science. This shouldn’t be surprising at all. This should be just as unsurprising as all of those gender and sexual orientation stats that I read. But I guarantee you that some of you listening to this are like, whoa, mind blown, right?

But it shouldn’t be that way. You if you’ve been around long of like, if you’re super young and you’re listening to this, I don’t have a lot of super young listeners on this podcast, but if you are super young and you’re listening to this, okay, cool, you’re just figuring this out now, great. I’m so glad that you’re learning this now. However, most of the audience would still be surprised by this, even though they’re older. And I think that as you grow and mature, you should really be learning about what your partner’s needs are. And this goes in both directions, by the way, ladies, you should be learning what our needs are as men, just as men, you should be learning what women’s needs are as women. And so you should know that that emotional connection, that intimacy, is an absolute must for a woman to really open up and have really great, amazing sex. So that really shouldn’t be surprising but but it potentially is, so if you could take away anything from that section, men, it would be to take the time to establish the intimacy, get to know her, get to know who she is and what she wants. Connect with her on a deeper level. That’s how you will get her to those mind-blowing, amazing orgasms where she looks at you like you are a God, and ladies, if you are, you know, dating like everybody else, having sex. I mean, it’s funny, right?

Because you see these stats like, you know, this is. Many men are having sex, you know, on a first or second date in the dating world, is like this is people tend to think, you know, well, women just aren’t like that. They’re not doing that. Well, all these men are having sex with somebody, right? So, ladies, I know that you’re having a lot of sex in the early dating period, too, and if you’re feeling unfulfilled with those sexual encounters, this is likely why, because you’re not taking the time to establish the deep emotional connection beforehand. Okay, couple more, then I want to take a break. All right, this one’s settled. Who’s having a lot of fun? Multiple Orgasm stats, so 43% of women have experienced multiple orgasms. Okay, that’s pretty good. Honestly, I think that number should be a lot higher than just 43%, but a lot of this does have to do with the type of sex they’re having again, but it’s not all the men’s fault.

One of the things that I have seen through my work over the years is that women tend to do, especially if they’re in a relationship like let’s say their man doesn’t last particularly long, right? Women really want to have an orgasm. Of course they do. They want sex to be fun and enjoyable, and so they will rush towards that first initial clitoral orgasm, because it’s like, I gotta get mine before he ejaculates and it’s over, right? And so that’s something that a lot of women will do. They’ll kind of rush towards that first initial explosive orgasm, and then once they have it, they’re just like, Okay, I’m done. It’s another thing that masturbating with vibrators also tends to train women to do, which is, like, ah, you know, feeling like I want to masturbate. I’m a little horny, or maybe I want to relieve stress, or maybe I just need to move some energy, whatever it is I’m gonna whip out the vibrator. You know, masturbate in eight minutes, orgasm, and move on. Right?

When you do that, that actually makes it harder for you to experience multiple orgasms. And so, you know, my suggestion is nothing wrong with masturbating, and even if you want to use a vibrator, but just slow everything down. You know, women can do edging practices also, right? If you’re a man, if you’re a woman, and you’re masturbating with a vibrator or not, you can bring yourself really close to orgasm and then back off, and then really close and then back off. You don’t have to go straight for that immediate clitoral, explosive orgasm. Furthermore, you can, instead of just, you know, taking that vibrator and sticking it right on your quit and going, you can, you know, use a type of internal vibrator, stimulate your G Spot, maybe stimulate your cervix, right, have different types of orgasms during your masturbation session. So you can do all of that rather than just going for that quick initial one.

And the more you do that, the more that, the easier that will become for you, even when you are having partnered sex as well. All right, let’s see here. One study showed that 40% of women reported cannabis use increased their ability to have multiple orgasms. I don’t know, maybe, maybe not. If you remember Celine and I did a show where we talked about our experience, because at that time, it was becoming really popular, and there were a lot of people out there, you know, really suggesting the use of cannabis products in order to enhance their sexuality, we found that it detracted from our sexuality.

It kind of numbed us out. It made it harder for us to feel things, so when we would normally like, for instance, for Celine, when she would normally get to orgasm, much quicker. It actually took longer for her. She couldn’t feel as much sensation. For me, she couldn’t feel as deeply connected. I shared a similar response where I was kind of feeling a bit more numbed out. But I think that really has to do with how in touch you really are to begin with. So, you know, for people who are generally normally really numbed out and don’t feel a whole lot. This might actually relax you a little bit and put you in a state where you can actually feel a little bit more. But I think if you’re really highly attuned and used to feeling a lot in your sexual encounters, both physically and energetically, I don’t think it’s really going to help you. In fact, I think, based on my experience, it’s probably going to take away from the experience. Less than 10% of men in their 20s are multi orgasmic, you know, that’s kind of interesting.

When I was really young, you know. Um, and I hadn’t learned control over my ejaculation. Like most young men, I ejaculated really quickly, but there’s almost no refractory period, and you can just, you know, you can ejaculate three, four times, you know, over the course of an hour session with your partner. I would consider that multi orgasmic. I don’t think it’s the right way to be multi-organic, but it works when you’re in your 20s, and when you get older, that doesn’t work. It just doesn’t work. So you have to learn to have non ejaculatory orgasms, so that you can have multiple orgasms and not, you know, have to deal with refractory periods or anything like that, and less than 7% of men over 30 are multi orgasmic, you know? I mean, I’m not surprised to see that that stat goes down, obviously, right? Because, like, I was saying, you know, it’s easy, you know, they consider multi orgasmic when you’re young, it’s like, oh, I ejaculated, but within four minutes, I was so turned on that, you know, I got an erection again, and we had sex again and I ejaculated again, right?

You know, like that’s typical for young men, but because it doesn’t really work for older men, unless they’ve learned how to control their ejaculation and have non ejaculatory orgasms, they’re probably not having multiple orgasms, so that it’s not surprising at all to see that stat go down. Okay, so about halfway through the show, maybe a little bit more than that. I think the next couple of sections will probably go a little faster, but I need to take a short break to read an ad.

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Okay, so this next one we can go over pretty quickly. It’s not surprising, really, in any way. Who’s pretending, right? Fake orgasm statistics: 59% of women have faked an orgasm. Not at all surprising. It does say here, 25% of men have faked an orgasm which I do actually find surprising, because I’m like, unless you are a man who has mastered separating your orgasm from your ejaculation. How do you fake it? Did you ejaculate or didn’t you, right? So I’m curious. I would want to research that one a little bit more and find out how exactly they got that statistic. And it also says, have faked so if you ask the question, have you ever faked an orgasm? You know my now, yeah, one time I blah, blah, blah, I’d be willing to bet, if you ask the question differently and ask them, Do you sometimes or often or frequently fake orgasms, that number is going to plummet. I’m pretty sure of that.

And then 67% of women who had ever faked an orgasm and no longer fake them, I’m happy to hear that that number is relatively high, kind of, you know, we talked about a little bit earlier on, and as I mentioned, I did an entire show on why. Them and fake orgasms, you are not doing yourself or your partner any favors by faking an orgasm. I know the tendency is, you know, to do that, because you think that it’s helping in some way, but really it’s just perpetuating the problems, when instead, you could just have some honest conversations about, you know, here’s what’s going on, here’s where I’m at, here’s what would really help me. Here’s what I need, right, way, way, way, way better conversation and will lead most likely to a lot better sex. All right, well, let’s dive in a little bit more here with women’s orgasms during sex.

So we talked about this a little bit. One of these stats was already in the top stats at the beginning, but there’s a little bit more going on here. So 81.6% of women don’t orgasm from intercourse alone. We talked about that before, at least without additional clit stimulation, and then the 18.4% of women report that intercourse alone is sufficient. So we covered that at the beginning, only 25% of women always have an orgasm during vaginal intercourse with clitoral stimulation, unspecified. That’s not necessarily surprising, because the word is always, I mean, one thing that I have absolutely learned over the years of, you know, being a sexually active heterosexual male, as well as all the years I’ve been doing this work, is that there’s no such thing As always with women. There just isn’t that, you know, technique that you use that usually works for her, doesn’t always work for her, right? So usually you go down on her, and there’s a certain thing you do with your tongue, and it usually works for her, but sometimes it doesn’t, because that’s, that’s just how women are. You know, same thing with everything else.

So yeah, a woman who always orgasms during vaginal intercourse, I’d say they’re pretty darn rare. In fact, I’m kind of surprised that 25% of women actually said that they orgasm every time during vaginal intercourse. Now, of course, it says they didn’t specify whether or not there was additional clitoral stimulation. My guess would be there probably is at least in a significant percentage of that 25% but yeah, you know, women are constantly changing beings, and this is why I tell men all the time, like, not only are they changing over time, but you know, each time you have sex with them might be a little different what they need or what they want in that moment might be different than the last time you had Sex, and sometimes literally, in the moment it changes. You’re doing something, and it’s working amazingly for her, and then all of a sudden it’s just not, you know, and too many times, guys are like, but that was working. Let me if I just keep doing it, it’ll start working again, right?

To which I often say, no, if it’s not working anymore, then try something else. Move on, right? Try something and see what kind of a reaction you get, until you find something that is working for her in that moment and that might, you know, change multiple times throughout the lovemaking session. So, yeah, I’m kind of surprised. 25% of women say they always have an orgasm during vaginal intercourse. Next 30% of women rarely or never orgasm during vaginal intercourse. Yeah, that’s not necessarily surprising, because, you know, they got rarely or never. So that increases it a little bit from the women who report that they never do. Because there are some women that say, Well, I will sometimes, but most of the time I don’t. And then women orgasm during vaginal intercourse, 51 to 60% of the time with simultaneous clit stimulation. So that’s not necessarily surprising, once you bring the clit stimulation in because that tends to be really intense.

Again, I think if their partners could really master their sexuality, you’d see that number go up a lot. I really do. Is it ever going to go up to 95 to 100% No, probably not, but I think it would probably get up into the 80s if the man is connecting with her emotionally, and there’s deep intimacy and trust and safety in the relationship, and you know, he’s taking the time to warm her. Up. Maybe he’s doing the constant state of arousal that I talk about all the time, and she is doing that as well. And there’s plenty of good foreplay, good oral sex, using your hands, massage, touching, kissing, licking, all that stuff. If you’re doing all of that, by the time you get to that vaginal intercourse, she should be so turned on and so ready to go that the chances of her orgasming are extremely high. So I think that if people were really having the kind of sex that I am trying very hard through my work and this show to help people have I think you would see that number go up a lot without needing the additional clit stimulation during the vaginal intercourse. It doesn’t mean there can’t be clit stimulation before whatever, but it’s not necessary.

Furthermore, I would say this, I had a woman on my show named Bell, she created a whole program for a technique called POM poire, which is basically teaching women how to train the muscles that line the vaginal canal to make them stronger, And one of the byproducts of that is increased orgasms, increased frequency, duration and intensity of orgasms. So I also think that if more women also mastered their sexuality, right? So then that can mean picking better partners to have sex with. That could mean also doing the constant state of arousal, you know, nurturing that sexual, erotic connection with their partner, as well, as, you know, training their own bodies to be more orgasmic through this program. Yeah, I think that would also increase this number. And if both of you were doing those things, this number should be through the roof. It really should be.

And by the way, if anybody’s listening and you’re wondering what that program is, that Bel has developed, just go to my website at https://www.kevinanthonycoaching.com/courses/, and you will find it listed there. That’s where you can buy the Godis program. It’s called so look for that. It’s a vaginal training program. It’s spectacular. I don’t own a vagina, so I haven’t been able to actually do the exercises, but I have been inside the course. I have watched the videos, I have seen what Bell has put together, and I think it is amazing, which is why I have it listed on my site. Yes, if you buy something, I do get a small commission, but it is absolutely worth it, and the feedback from women who’ve gone through it is remarkable. So I think all women should do that. And I also think all men should master their sexuality as well. And if you’re both working on being the best that you can be. You are going to see those orgasm stats go way, way up, and you are going to be living your best life. Okay, a couple of last things here, and then we will wrap up. This is the orgasm stats during other activities.

So basically, what are the statistics around orgasm when doing things other than, say, vaginal intercourse? So let’s start with masturbation. 92.4% of women are able to orgasm from masturbation. Okay, hold on, pause, pause. Think about that for a second, 92.4% of women can orgasm from masturbation. But what was the number of women who orgasmed from intercourse? 18.4, that is a huge difference. So one of the questions I ask both men and women is, if a man or woman comes to work with me, and they are describing to me that they have difficulty achieving orgasm. So I do sometimes work with men who have delayed ejaculation or challenges with ejaculation. And obviously this is somewhat common for women. The first question I always ask them is, can you achieve orgasm through masturbation?

And if they say yes, I go, Well, you don’t have a physical problem, then you probably have a mental. Emotional problem. You have a lack of connection, you have a lack of intimacy, safety, and trust, right? You have a lack of skilled love making, right? And then we get to focus on all of those other areas. So I’m not at all surprised to see that 92.4% of women are able to orgasm from masturbation, right? That’s really not surprising. So then the question is, why do so many fewer women have orgasms when they’re having sex? And that has a lot to do with the kind of sex they’re having and the condition of their relationship. Where is their relationship at, and women most often have their first orgasm through masturbation. That’s also not surprising, especially since, you know, early on, I mean, when we talk about all the things that can possibly be in the way of a woman having an orgasm, like especially when they’re young, yeah, a lot of that stuff is in the way, but it’s not in the way necessarily, during masturbation.

So let’s see anal sex. From one study, 100% of men orgasm during encounters they they received this. There’s a typo in here, but basically they’re saying 100% of men orgasms during encounters where they received anal sex. That’s kind of interesting. Somewhat surprised to hear that. I mean, not totally surprised. We do know that prostate stimulation is highly stimulating for men and can produce very powerful orgasms. Speaking of another product that I recommend, something that a product that I’ve been recommending and Celine and I have been recommending for many years, is called the eneros, which is a male prostate stimulation tool that allows a man to stimulate his prostate by himself, but he can also use this device during sex with a partner, and it does do a very good job of stimulating the prostate so it can increase the sensations and give you more powerful orgasms. So not surprised necessarily by that, but 100% I mean, really 100% that, that is kind of surprising to me, I’m imagining there’s probably a high level of gay men who have been part of this particular statistic. But that’d be that would be something interesting.

I actually would love to ask somebody who’s an expert on on that, you know, a gay man who’s an expert in anal sex to hear what their experience is like, to see if that’s really true, right? Like, you know, and if you’re listening to this and you happen to be a gamer, comment in the comments like, is that true during during anal sex? Do you always have an orgasm when you’re receiving, of course, which is what they which is what this is saying, orgasms during encounters, they received anal, right? So obviously, if you’re giving that, we get, but receiving, 94% of women orgasms during encounters, they received anal. That’s kind of interesting. Also, I’d be curious to know why that is obviously, you know, anal sex tends to be something that a lot of people consider to be sort of taboo or risque. So there could be a high level of stimulation when doing that. I’ve also seen that, you know, a lot of times when women are receiving anal, they’re also stimulating their clitoris and or their vagina. So that might be part of the reason as well.

Next oral sex, women who receive oral sex most in most sexual encounters are 23% more likely to orgasm during sex than women who never receive oral. This is not at all surprising. This is exactly what I was talking about when we talked about how many women orgasm from vaginal intercourse with a partner, and what, exactly what I was saying before is, you know, the reason that number is so low is because there isn’t a lot of proper foreplay happening ahead of time. So yeah, if you are giving your woman oral sex before the penetration, 23% 23% more likely to have an orgasm during sex. So yeah, it’s definitely a good thing to do. Women love it. It’s also great because, you know, as men, we love to receive oral and women often. Often feel like it’s a one-way street where they’re giving oral all the time, but they’re not really receiving it. So if you are giving her more oral, she’s more likely to give you more oral. So that’s a win, win.

But she’s also 23% more likely to have an orgasm during sex, so she’s going to have more orgasms, which is going to motivate her to have more sex. So the more oral you give her, the better the chances are she’s going to have an orgasm, which means she’s going to want more sex, and she’s probably going to want to give you more oral. And it’s just it is a win-win all across the board. Some men tell me they think it’s kind of gross and they don’t like doing it. That’s kind of a shame. I’m sort of surprised to hear that it shouldn’t really be gross in any way. Any woman who is healthy and takes care of herself should not be gross in any way. And honestly, I would say you should really learn to love it. As a man, it should be something that you actually really enjoy. It certainly is for me is something I really enjoy doing to and for my woman.

So if you’re in a space where you haven’t come to love it yet, I would suggest doing some work around that, figuring out what’s in the way, what’s kind of blocking you, what? Why aren’t you able to get to that place where you’re like, This is amazing. I can’t wait to do this, all right. And lastly, vibrator usage. 53% of women and 45% of men have used a vibrator during sexual activities. I’m surprised, 53% of women, I think that’s kind of a bit low, but maybe not, I don’t know. Initially, my reaction is that’s a little bit low. For heterosexual women, their partner’s knowledge and enjoyment of their vibrator use a huge predictors of sexual satisfaction. That is an interesting one. I wish they would have explained that one a little bit more, it seems to me, what they’re saying is, is that if their partner not only knows about their vibrator usage, but also incorporates it into their sexuality and enjoys using it along with them, that there seems to be a higher level of sexual satisfaction. I think that makes sense to me, but I’m not totally sure that that’s exactly what they are saying.

They don’t include any stats here about, you know, how many women like what percentage of women orgasm from vibrator usage? Although I’m I’m sure it’s very, very high, and it’d be interesting to hear some more. You know, they’re saying 45% of men have used a vibrator during sexual activities. But they don’t really say use it on themselves or on their woman or both. Or it doesn’t really give any stats about, you know, men’s orgasm in relation to using vibrators, that would be kind of interesting to know, but, yeah, that’s, that’s all they really share on vibrator usage. So there you go. That is a whole bunch of orgasm statistics. There’s, more on that website.

The link is in the description, if you want to dig a little bit deeper, but I covered the majority of stuff in there, certainly the things that I thought were most interesting. So I am curious what you think about that. What is your experience? How does it compare to the stats that I have read here? Do you agree with them? Do you not agree with them? Let me know in the comments, or if you’re listening to this on the podcast platform, you know, shoot me an email, the link is in the description, and tell me what your experience is around orgasm. All right, everybody, that’s all I have for this episode, and I will see you next week.

I hope you liked this episode of the Love Lab podcast. If you enjoy this show, subscribe, leave me a review, and share it with your friends, and for more free exclusive content, join me in the passion vault at https://www.kevinanthonycoaching.com/vault/. That’s https://www.kevinanthonycoaching.com/vault/. Thanks for listening, and remember, as Celine used to say, you’re amazing!