How Erotic Energy Mapping Can Help Your Sex Life

Kevin Anthony 0:05
Welcome to the Love Lab podcast, a safe and fun place to get real and learn about sex. Whether you’re a man or woman, single or couple, this is the show for you. I am your host, Kevin Anthony, and I am here to guide you to go from good to amazing in the bedroom, and your relationships.

All right, welcome back to the Love Lab podcast. This is episode 312. And it is titled How erotic energy mapping can help your sex life. So you know, here on the Love Lab podcast, if you’ve listened for any amount of time, you understand that I am all about finding and presenting to you as many tools, modalities, books, information, whatever as much stuff as we can possibly find, to help us in the realm of sex, love, and relationship. One of the reasons I like to do that is because no one tool works for everybody. So we need a whole toolbox full of things that we could potentially pull out. Because you might try one on and go, that doesn’t really work for me. You might try another one on and go yes, yes, that totally solved my problem.

And this is kind of funny because I have conversations with people all the time. And I’ll talk about a certain thing. That doesn’t work for me. And I’m like, Okay, well, just because it doesn’t work for you, doesn’t mean it doesn’t work for other people. Right. So the idea here is to have as many tools as we can to really become the best version of ourselves that we can. And so today, we’re really going to be talking about something called erotic energy mapping, and how that tool can potentially help us. Obviously, if you’re watching this on YouTube, you can see that I have a guest. With me today. You can also see that I have her book here. So we’re gonna dive into that.

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All right, so on today’s show, I have a guest with me. Her name is Stefanie Iris Weiss. She is a New York City based writer, a certified clinical sexologist and professional astrologer in private practice for two decades. Her latest book sex and your stars, a sexologist guide to to the erotic energy of the Zodiac is out now on sounds true. Welcome to the show, Stefanie.

Stefanie Iris Weiss 3:15
Hello, I’m so happy to be here with you today.

Kevin Anthony 3:20
Well, thanks for coming on. I’m sure there are a lot of shows out there where they have a team of people that book all the guests and the host just shows up. That’s not the way the Love Lab Podcast works. I read every email from every publicist that pitches me and I go, does this person sound interesting to me or not? So if you’re here, I obviously thought that you were interesting. What really stuck out to me was the fact that you also have a background as a certified clinical sexologist, right? So this is obviously 100%. The wheelhouse of the Love Lab podcast, right? I just got super curious about how you combine those two. So my first question is, and it’s, it’s, I guess, it is a question, but it’s basically Could you tell the audience a little bit about your background and clinical sexology and astrology?

Stefanie Iris Weiss 4:30
Yes, yes. Yes. I think I, I get asked a question like this. And a lot of the interviews that I do and what I’ve come to realize is that I should say this at the outset like I was meant to do both of these things like it’s in my chart. But I don’t think that I knew that I was meant to do each of these things until you know, the point at which it became clear that I sort of had to do them. So starting with clinical sexology I’ve always been the person and I talk a little bit about my biography and my background. But I grew up in a household raised by parents who owned a head shop. And, you know, we were there was just a lot of open conversation about bodies in my house, and I felt very comfortable always my whole life talking about bodies as they were, without shame.

And then I, you know, I realized at some point, probably in my 20s, that I was the go-to person of my friend group, who people were like, I’m having this issue with my partner and something about, you know, our sex life, like people always came to me to talk to me about it, which is what, you know, people who end up in this business are usually that person in their friend group. Right? Right. Yeah, exactly. So we kind of get the message that like, Oh, this is, you know, people feel comfortable with us around this topic, right? And, and, you know, this was always the case. And I’ve faced also say in the book, like, everything I’ve ever learned to do, I’ve learned to do by writing about it. So my journey to becoming a clinical certified clinical sexologist began with being a sex writer. So I wrote a book called Eco sex, go green between the sheets and make your love life sustainable came out in 2010.

And that launched my career as a sex writer, I had a couple of advice columns built around sexuality. I wrote, you know, service pieces about vibrators and feminist porn and like all these different amazing topics and did reported pieces at like sex parties, and just like, had a great time learning about all of this and giving out advice and just absorbing so much knowledge. And then the pandemic hit. And I realized I had spent all these years dispensing all this knowledge, and I really wanted to be credentialed and something that I was already doing anyway. So I got credentialed and became a certified clinical sexologist and sex coach. And all along and all these years, I was doing astrology throughout.

Kevin Anthony 7:09
Yeah, that is an interesting journey. And you’re right, because I was absolutely that person, too. I never thought that I was going to be, you know, coaching people in sex or relationships. I was always pursuing it for my own personal interest, reading all the books, taking the workshops, you know, doing all that stuff, just because I wanted to learn it for myself. And then I started noticing that, you know, of course, my friend group started asking for a lot of advice. But then the thing and I still was resistant to this idea, but it was literally when, like, absolute strangers, stopped me in public and asked me questions. I’m like, I’ve never seen you before in my life, what in the world made you decide you wanted to walk up to me in a public place and ask me such a personal and I was not in the public sphere at all.

When that happened. I mean, that literally happened to me. I had no YouTube channel, I had no podcast, and none of that. It’s not like they could have known who I was, right? And so that’s when I was like, Okay, I’m getting it. Yes, you had to hit me over the head with a two-by-four for me to understand. But I realized I’m supposed to do this. So you’re right. That is a very common scenario for a lot of us. So okay, so you, that’s how you got into doing clinical psychology, clinical sexology. And all along you were doing the astrology? What made you decide to combine these two?

Stefanie Iris Weiss 8:41
Well, you know, I had already been combining them in astrology readings with clients. So that’s the other piece of this that sort of comes together for me years ago, which is that speaking to what you just said, like complete strangers would come up to you and ask you questions. When I would have a client come in for an astrology reading, which was ostensibly not about sex just to Natal reading or transit reading, and they didn’t know anything about me even before I wrote the book eco sex and was, you know, becoming known as a sex writer. Clients started to tell me this is another way that I sort of got the message that I was supposed to be doing more in sexuality. Clients began to tell me, you know, began to say like, can I ask this question about, you know, about my sex life with my partner, or, you know, I’m having issues with orgasm, whatever it is, and then they would say things like, you know, I can’t even I’m so comfortable talking to you about this, that I can’t even talk to my therapist about it. Right.

So it’s another way that I started to get the message. And at that point, many, many going back many years, I started to look at people’s charts to better under because I was you know, I’ve always been really curious and, and open about sex. So I was like, Well, what is going on here with these points in the chart with these different planets? And these houses, you know, like, what is it saying about sexuality? So, that part of the journey began a long time ago. But it was again after I got my certification in clinical sexology I know I should say this like writing about astrology and, you know, writing horoscopes and you know, I have been asked many times throughout the years to write, you know, sexual astrology, you know, sexual horoscopes relationship horoscopes, love horoscopes like I’ve done plenty of that. So that’s another way that I combined it, but it was, you know, during the pandemic that I was like, huh, yeah, there’s this is something is really screaming for me to put these two areas of expertise together in a form that I can give to the public because they work so well together.

Kevin Anthony 10:51
Well, I do have to say, as you can see, if you’re watching, I have the book here. And I did have an opportunity to read the section about me. And I thought it was pretty funny because a lot of it really is true. And what’s interesting is so you know, as there is, with every sign, there’s, there’s the positive aspect and the negative aspect, right? So there’s like, when you’re really in balance, you know, how do you show up? And when you’re out of balance, how do you show up, so every sign has both of those, those sides do it. And usually, when people read those things, you know, whichever side they believe they’re on, you know, like, I’m, I’m, I’m, I’m, I’m doing all the right things, or I’m doing whatever it is, you know, they tend to look at whatever side they don’t like, and like that, that’s I’m not like that, or no, reading it, like I could really honestly see, I go, Okay, here’s where I am. But I can see on the other side, where I either was, or I could see the potential to be there if I was out of balance. So I really actually found it quite interesting and fascinating.

Maybe when we get into it later, I’ll show you a list of all the parts I highlighted. But, you know, I think sometimes, you know, listeners will, if they’re not into astrology might just sort of scoff at the whole idea and be like, Oh, it’s just a bunch of kind of woo-woo nonsense. We’re gonna get into this because this is leading into my next question. The reason I bring that up about, you know, going through the book and seeing the areas that makes sense is like, how do you explain that really? Like? How do you explain, that reading this when it wasn’t written about Me, in particular, could so accurately describe certain parts of my personality? And they’re not so generic that they would describe anybody? Like, you know, if I were, if I were to have, you know, my girlfriend read that she wouldn’t say it describes her at all. But if she read it, she’d be like, Oh, my God, that’s so you. Alright, so I just find it interesting. And like I said, In the beginning of this show, tools, tools in the toolbox, so if you can learn anything from this that helps you on your journey. That’s great. So that brings me then to my next question, which is, what types of things can you tell from a person’s chart in regards to their sexuality?

Stefanie Iris Weiss 13:11
Hmm, I mean, there are so many different ways, to examine this. There are, you can look at the planets themselves, you can look at the planets and houses, you can look at the planets in relationship with one another. So if I were doing an erotic energy mapping session, I would look at all of this, right, I would look at you know, all of the planets in correspondence to one another. And I would look at the sun sign, which is what you’re talking about, which is what the book focuses on. And, you know, I would look at things that I, we don’t have time to go into here because astrology is so infinite, it could take hours to describe everything that I would do in preparation for a reading with someone about this.

But you know, there are some sort of like primary elements. If you look at the sun sign, you look at Venus, you look at Mars, you look at black, Moon, Lilith, those, those core things, which I cover in the book can tell us so much about our sexual desire or blocks, or worries or concerns, the shadow, like the stuff you were talking about when you said you were reading your chapter, the things that you were like, not me, you know, or maybe were you before or you thought maybe somebody would, you know, read it and be like, Well, I don’t own this, this isn’t me. That’s the shadow stuff. Right. And that has to be in all of the chapters as well, because we have to look at the shadows before we own the, you know, our erotic potential. Right. And what’s great about us so that all of that goes into this process. Yeah,

Kevin Anthony 14:58
In the pre-interview I think you used the term, you had to have said this term in there because I wrote it down, but what I wrote down was a map of the human psyche.

Stefanie Iris Weiss 15:10
Hmm. Right. Yeah. natal chart. Yep.

Kevin Anthony 15:13
So I’m wondering if maybe you could expand a little bit on like, what does that mean? Like? Because, you know, I think a lot of people think Australia is just this sort of woo-woo thing that doesn’t really exist. And if we could, if we could relate it to something that was easier for people to understand, like the fact that this is actually just kind of showing you a map to how your psyche operates.

Stefanie Iris Weiss 15:35
Yes, yes, yes, yes. That’s what the natal chart is. That’s another that’s a euphemism that I use, you know, a map of the of the human psyche. So what a natal chart is, is the moment that you’re born. It’s basically like a screenshot a snapshot of the sky above you at that exact second, right? So if we have a person’s birth, date and time we have an accurate natal chart of that, that includes all the houses and the exact descendants and all of that information. And so how do we how for your audience who know nothing about astrology, they can say, okay, yeah, but that’s completely hokey? Like, what? Like, that’s meaningless. Why would you say that has anything to do with the human psyche? And yes, you know, I hear you guys.

But this is the way that astrologers understand it. This is based on 1000s of years of data, basically, right, like so collected across cultures, you know, over millennia of like, what does it mean when, you know, a person is born in a certain moment, and the moon is exactly in this position? How does that affect that person’s life? Right? So, all of that information has been translated, and as you know, and passed down an oral tradition and written in books over all of these years, and that is how we contemporary astrologers who use computers, and use astronomical ephemerides, to, you know, basically, like, when I did your chart, you told me your birth time and place, and, and I just fed it into my computer, into my software to see this map of your psyche, right. So you know, when we say a map of your psyche, when we know where the rising sign is, and the moon sign is, and the sun sign is we call those, the big three and astrology and just from knowing those, we can know a lot about a person’s personality.

You know, when we, when we look at those, we can get a sense of like, what a person is drawn to, or what, who people, what kind of people are drawn to that person, we can get a sense of how does that person feel this is the moon, how does that person feel internally emotionally? How does that person feel in terms of like, what, what nurtures that person? And then when we look at the sun, which is a lot of the focus of the book, so what is that person’s vitality? What is that person’s big energy? What does that person come with and present to everyone like what gives a person their glow? So these are just some things, some elements of what we call a map of the human psyche in a natal chart.

Kevin Anthony 18:24
Yeah. And like how you explained that it’s, you know, 1000s of years of observation that people born in with this configuration tend to show up in this way. They’re likely is some other forces that work, but we don’t necessarily need to understand them, as long as we have all of that data that shows us the pattern. So it’s basically pattern recognition, right?

Stefanie Iris Weiss 18:51
That’s exactly precisely what it is. It’s pattern recognition that’s been written down and has been collected over a lot of time. Right. So you know, not dissing psychics, and you know, other kinds of divination, people who do divination, but astrology is not that and I want people to understand Astrology can be used for divination, there are charts that people can draw, like the same way you would like to throw down, you know, runes or something. I don’t do that I focus mostly on the psychology of astrology, and some predictions, but that is, you know the main way in which I use it is to help people feel better. And, you know, and feel more joy and feel more pleasure, through, you know, working through their shame and doing shadow work, basically.

Kevin Anthony 19:42
Yeah, you know, I find it kind of interesting, because, many, many, many years ago, a girlfriend of mine was really into astrology, and she was specifically looking for a person that had you know, a partner that had very specific signs, you know, Oh, no. I was like, Yeah, okay, whatever. Like I didn’t really spend a whole lot of energy on it. All right, if you say so, you know, but she’s the first one that kind of got me interested in it. And what was interesting, we want to talk about pattern recognition. Ever since then, I would pay attention, I wouldn’t make choices about my relationships based on it. But I would then look back at like, Okay, in this relationship, how did it how did it go? How did we relate? Did it work out? What were the things that were good and bad?

And then I would go back and you know, read the astrology, and what is the astrology say, and I started seeing over and over again, how much this lined up. And it was kind of blew my mind, because I’m like, That’s just crazy. So then, I started kind of relying on it a little bit more not saying that I would make all my decisions on it, but I just started paying a little bit more attention to it. So for instance, when my wife and I first started dating, I obviously looked at the astrology I looked at both Western and Eastern. And both of them said that we were an amazing match. But there are other systems that exist out there that are more modern systems that claim to take, you know, these older systems into account in the way they process, you know, and give you a result. And some of them said that we were really like, low percentage match like that we really shouldn’t have been together. And I was like, Oh, that’s really interesting.

Because on the one side, we got, we got this stuff that’s like, you guys are the best possible combination that exists in astrology. And then you’ve got over here like, no, no, you guys shouldn’t be together like this is not going to work out well, for you. Okay, let’s, let’s just see what actually happens. And I can tell you that it was literally the best relationship I’ve ever had in my entire life. And it matched up with what the traditional astrology in both systems said, better than anything else, I have read that, you know, trying to compare two people and see if they’re compatible. So that was my own personal experience with it, you know, and I, you know, one of the other systems actually has been created by a friend of mine. And I just had this I had to say, you know, that was not my extra year thing was not my experience. Sorry.

Stefanie Iris Weiss 22:26
So, yeah, that’s yeah, that’s the other, you know, that’s not so much in the purview of this particular book. But compatibility is another way that we can use astrology through the, you know, the lens of, of sexuality, we can look at, you know, you don’t just look at the sun signs, you look at much more than that, because people, people will constantly come up to me and be like, I’m an Aries and I’m dating a Scorpio and like, you know, is that okay? And I’ll be like, there’s a lot more to it than just your Aries you know, your two sons here like we’ve you know, Venus is in the room, Mars is in the room, like lots of other planets are, are in this conversation. So if you really want to know, you need to book a reading with an astrologer and like, get the 411 on all the placements.

Kevin Anthony 23:11
Yeah, that’s a good point. This book is not specifically about compatibility. I just wanted to use that as another example of like, my own personal experience with it. And I love it, and how just observing my own life and my own relationships compares to what you know, it says the likely outcome would be and it’s shockingly accurate.

Stefanie Iris Weiss 23:31
Yeah, and one another, another. And I think as you were talking about how like you started to, from that old girlfriend who first got you into it, I a lot of people find in relationships, I have this pattern as well, they’ll find themselves attracted to a particular person and not know their chart necessarily. And then when they do learn the person’s chart, they realize they have the same chart as the x and the one before. It’s like, I’m like, you know, asking myself why do I always date Moon in Gemini? Gemini Man, I don’t know. But it always happens. And I’m like, not planning for it. But it keeps happening. You know, what?

Kevin Anthony 24:09
I think actually, if I recall correctly, I mean, this goes back quite a few years. But if I recall correctly, the reason why she had this book, and the reason why she was looking for somebody with a very specific sign was because she was actually trying not to repeat the pattern. Right? So in other words, it was just like, I keep attracting, better not working. So so she was like, you know, fuck it, I kind of find another way to break this pattern. She’s like, the book says, I shouldn’t be looking for this. So I’m gonna go look for that. Oh, that’s pretty funny, actually. Okay, so let’s just talk a little bit before we get into showing sort of some of the things using an example of my reading showing some of the things that we can learn. Let’s talk a little bit about what are some of the common issues issues that you see come up with your clients, when you’re doing these erotic energy mappings are there any sort of things that you tend to see on a regular basis that this can actually help you see.

Stefanie Iris Weiss 25:16
Very often clients will come in because they either have suffered a loss of libido or they’re in a partnership where their partner has had a loss of libido or interest in sex with the partner and that and the person who comes to me is the one who’s like, I still want to, I’m still attracted to my partner, and still want to have sex with them, but they’re no longer interested in sex, or issues of an orgasm meow, or, you know, Ed of some form. And, you know, the whole variety, like, the whole gamut of sexual issues come in, but like, the, the one that I find most common is is, um, you know, like a libido differences in partners.

So, so, you know, one of the ways that I would help a client who was dealing with this was I would be looking at the transits that they’re experiencing and what a transit is. So you have your fixed natal chart, which is like just the picture of the sky at the moment that you’re born, but because the planets continued to move, right, they kind of like speak to you and have conversations with your natal planets, and they can create experience for you as you move through your life. Right. So, you know, Saturn is a good example, like, every seven years, it will make you know, I’m calling it like, a conversation, but it will make a transit against your natal, to your natal, Saturn.

So those are significant life markers, 714 21 and 2029 and a half at the Saturn Return. So I’ll look to see if a client is having a particular transit when they come in, that might be bringing up this issue, I’m going to look to see, you know, whether there is a pattern, you know, do they often get into relationships that they have sort of, you know, differentials of libido, or what was the relationship like at the very beginning, I’ll look at the compatibility between the partners, I’ll look at the partners, transits, all of those kinds of things are possibilities.

Kevin Anthony 27:22
Cool. So there’s actually quite a bit there that you’re looking at, what I think is kind of interesting about that is, for the most part, when you’re looking at astrology, or you know, other astrologers work, they, they generally don’t specifically go into the sexuality piece. Right. And so that’s what I think is really sort of unique about what it is you’re doing is combining that with the clinical sexology. And helping people solve some problems that are persistent, because a lot of the things that you mentioned, are very common problems that, you know, we see. So I was curious to ask that question because I was like, Is this going to show you stuff that maybe we don’t see any other way? Or is this just another tool for showing us? You know, some common things, and what I was hearing you say is, like, those are a lot of the common things that I see in the work that I do as well. Right? So. So again, it’s like, it’s another tool, another way of looking at it another way of seeing, like, here’s what’s going on here. And once you can see what the problem is, especially if you can get some ideas to the cause of that problem, then you can start working on a solution.

Stefanie Iris Weiss 28:36
Yes, that’s exactly it, right, I’m not seeing anything unique in terms of you know, it’s the same, it’s the same common issues that all sex coaches or you know, or sex therapists tend to experience in their, in their practices, right, like we’re not, it’s not some new kind of dimension of issue that people are having human problems and their human relationships. And the astrology is just a different way to not a different way to diagnose it, but a different way to help it make adjustments so they can see, you know, what might be happening so they can, you know, begin to address it. And the shadow work is really, really helpful there. Because, you know, we’ll often when we’re looking at, we’re looking at someone’s sun sign, for instance, we look at their, the opposite sign, there’s a lot of information there about what they might be denying about themselves, and where they might be experiencing shame, which you know, and, you know, in the work that we do in this field, shame is the biggest, you know, boogeyman of all, yes.

Kevin Anthony 29:42
And it is absolutely amazing. How much sexual shame there is out there. No, this is an interesting thing, right? Because you started off talking about the fact that you grew up in a household where you talked about these things a lot, right? So you didn’t have a lot of that shame from your childhood. I did not grow up in a household and they absolutely did not talk about sex at all in any way shape or form. So you know, I very similar upbringing around sexism to most people, somehow I managed to break out of that because one of the most common pieces of feedback that I get from the work that I do is, it’s amazing how just easy it is for you to talk about, you know, sex and these like, really highly, you know, triggering or taboo or uncomfortable subjects, right. And you just talk about it like it’s nothing, right?

So that’s, that’s part of what I do is by talking about it like that, it’s giving people permission to do that themselves. I was actually just this weekend spending some time with friends, one of which is a friend of a friend. So it’s, it’s sort of a new person in our friends’ circle. And she basically you’re saying the same thing. She’s just like, like, staring at me in awe, like, how in the world? Do you talk about this stuff? You know? Because like most people, she did not have an open-up upbringing around these subjects. And so it’s super difficult and uncomfortable for her. She gets uncomfortable. Just listening to me talking about it. But she’s fascinated by it. And she wants to be able to talk about it that openly, which is why she was asking me questions all weekend.

Stefanie Iris Weiss 31:29
I love that. That’s wonderful. Yeah, I love when, you know, when social situations you can, you know, have an experience where someone is like, Oh, my God, I’m having a breakthrough just being around you. Right? Get some help. Like, you know, you’re not in like clinic or anything. And this person is just like, Oh, my God, this is like, exactly what I needed to meet you. So we could talk about this right now?

Kevin Anthony 31:50
Yeah, absolutely. Okay, so we have a pretty good foundation laid for what it is we’re talking about. And I think we did a pretty good job of relating this to something that people can really understand. So I really wanted to try to take this out of the, the woo-woo, weirdo, you know, a category it gets put into and bring it back into something that people can relate to, and see that this could potentially be a valid tool for them to use on their journey. So I think we did a pretty good job of that.

What I want to do after the break, because I got to take a short break for the second sponsor, but after that, I did give you some of my information, you did run a chart on that. So we’re going to do just a little example of what this might look like. And then I’m going to tell you honestly, whether or not I think what you are giving me as feedback if I resonate with it, if I think that’s true, or if I’m just like, that’s not me at all right? So, so we’re just going to use that as a live example. You know, obviously, anybody that’s been listening to this show for any length of time knows I share literally everything when my wife was alive when we did the show together, we shared absolutely everything about our sex life. So you know, it’s not a stretch for me necessarily to share this with you. It’s not about me, per se, it’s really about showing you an example of how this could work. So that’s, that’s the goal with that. We will do that as soon as we come back on the other side of this break.

All right, are you a couple are your relationship and sex life where you want them to be? Are there changes you would like to make but just don’t know how maybe you think there is nothing that can be done. If you’re not 100% happy with where your relationship or sex life is, then get help today and change your life. Go to https://www.kevinanthonycoaching.com/sex-coaching-couples/ don’t worry about the long link it’s in the description just go over there and click it. Schedule a strategy call with me today so that we can map out a strategy to get you where you want to go. So you can have it all your way. That is https://www.kevinanthonycoaching.com/sex-coaching-couples/ book your strategy call today that is obviously a link to my couples coaching program. I have a ton of tools in there to help you. This is actually not one of them. I do not do astrology. So if you want that, we’re going to direct you at the end of the show how you can work with Stefanie, but I have a ton of other tools to help you as a couple. Get that spark back rekindle the flame get that sex life going again, learn how to communicate with each other better, and just have an overall better, more harmonious more loving, more connected more sexual relationship. So go check that out.

Okay, so as promised before the break, we’re going to use me as a guinea pig here as an example. We’re going to talk a little bit about the chart and what it says. Obviously, please don’t reveal you know any detailed personal information about birth date, place of birth, or anything like that I do need to keep a little separation between my public persona and, and the private world. But you know, anything that the chart says is fair game.

Stefanie Iris Weiss 35:10
So yeah, so thank you so much for for sharing your chart with me I am always every every chart that I am given by a client I feel so humbled like you know, to get to see someone’s natal fingerprint. It’s it’s really wonderful experience for me. So the immediate thing that jumped out, we’re going to talk about your sun sign, which is Gemini, and a little bit, but the thing that jumped out at me first was that you are a Taurus rising and that you have your Moon in Libra. So the the big three is the rising sign, the moon sign and the sun sign. What that means is your Taurus rising, and your moon and Libra are both ruled by Venus, every sign is ruled by a planet. So Venus, the planet of love, relationships, and desire. And eroticism is playing a big part in your chart. It’s right there.

Kevin Anthony 36:14
I mean, seriously, you could really have planned that I literally am a sex love and relationship coach, and apparently two of my signs are ruled by Venus.

Stefanie Iris Weiss 36:22
Yeah. And so not only that, but you have a major aspect between Venus and Mars. So, you know, Mars is, is the planet of, of passion, of desire to go after what you want. And let me tell you something amazing. Just as an aside, whenever I have done the charts of people in our industry, in our world, in our field, they always have a significant aspect between Mars and Venus. I have it in my chart, too. It’s uncanny. And when I saw that in your chart, I was like, Oh, come on, like, like, this is something I need to write. Like, I need to do some kind of research about this and look at everyone’s charts, famous people, dead people, like, you know, Dr. Ruth Westheimer. You know, like all the people who have come before us because like, it’s kind of amazing to me, that that is out there.

Kevin Anthony 37:14
I guess that means we’re doing what we’re supposed to be doing. It sounds like we’re the right people to be doing this work.

Stefanie Iris Weiss 37:20
Precisely. Yes. Yes. Yes. So so you’re so I said your so you’ve got your rising sign ruled by Venus, your moon ruled by Venus, the two different you know, like a mix of the sensuality of Taurus and the rising sign. And I should say this, like the rising sign, if you know, your birth time, and you can get a rising sign, you know, for a reading, you can get a really precise read on what how is, is all of the planets fall into in your natal chart. And, and you know, it’s more if you can get that as is really, really helpful. We can do a reading for someone if we just know their birthday, but it’s always great. It’s much better, it’s much more accurate if we know the time of birth. So with your time of birth and your Taurus rising. What we know is that what you give to other people is what your rising sign is, it’s like who you are when you’re around others. And not to say that it’s a false face or it’s fake, but it’s like a part of you that you kind of make other people comfortable with if that means anything to you like. So the Taurus is like they’re grounding and stable. And, you know, a strong presence for other people. So when you walk into a room or you meet new people, they might experience that part of you. Right?

Kevin Anthony 38:50
I would say that’s pretty accurate. What I find is interesting about that is you know, Geminis have a pretty bad reputation for being really flaky. Right, right, but that’s the sort of general reputation of Geminis and I’ve always felt like I mean, that’s not me at all right? So it’s it one you debunked that in general about Geminis, but too, it makes more sense when you realize that there’s a very grounding force in the Taurus there.

Stefanie Iris Weiss 39:21
Yes, yes. 100% And so your son in Gemini is also I use I’m not going to get into the details about the chart though about how systems but I use something called placidus here, and that puts your son all the way at the end of your first house, your son in Gemini so you have both the calming kind of grounding influence sensual influence of Taurus, but your son is there too. So it people perceive you, you give off someone who speaks really well who is really good at being in conversation with people who can be very, very engaging. And like you explained cuz, you know, like that person wanted to talk to you, right? That woman wanted to talk to you and ask you all these questions and pick your brain like a person who, when interacting with other people, like gets into lots of conversations with lots of different people everywhere. Or it could like to make a living having conversations with people in a podcast, right?

Kevin Anthony 40:19
That’s why, you know, I, I totally fell into this whole podcast thing. This was not, you know, something I initially intentionally set on doing. But since I’ve been doing it now, for quite a few years, then my wife used to say the same thing all the time to just be like, you have finally found the perfect job. You just get to talk. And it’s true. You know, it actually really is a great job for me.

Stefanie Iris Weiss 40:45
Yeah. And I another thing that I love about your chart, is that your sun in Gemini, your Moon in Libra, and I’m trying to see is there anything else here that’s working with us? Yes, sun and Gemini, moon and Libra and your Black Moon Lilith, which is another part of the book, we have a chapter in the book about Black Moon, Lilith are all in a Trine together, which is to say that they’re in the same element. So Gemini, Libra, and Aquarius are the air signs. Those are the communicative sciences, or they the signs that are sort of like about the mind, the more mental signs, so intellectual science. So I mean, it’s just also kind of Uncanny that a person who thinks about talks about sex and sexuality has these three planets and a really, really wonderful trine with platinum Lilith at the top in your career house, which suggests to me, you know, and the work that you do in some ways, you’re helping people to break through stultifying, patriarchal ideas about, you know, how we’re supposed to be allowed to be, you know, to behave in this world, that’s very much pointing to the top of your chart, and it’s an Aquarius, so it’s like, very ahead of its time, you know, it’s like, it’s very progressive.

Kevin Anthony 42:13
Well, thank you for sharing that. I haven’t actually heard that interpretation. But it makes total sense because it is it is what I do. In fact, one of the conversations I was having yesterday that I was just telling you about, was one of the questions. So there were multiple people listening to this conversation. And one of the questions was, this woman wanted to know about polyamory. And she was just curious, but but the other woman who was listening got pretty triggered by the whole concept of polyamory. And she was like, no, no, no, because when I’m in a relationship, I need to be like this, blah, blah, blah. I just had to pause there for a moment and say, that’s your experience. And what’s good is that you know, what works for you. So great. Stick with that. But your experience is different from mine, and is different from his and you have to understand that that one style of relationship doesn’t work for everybody. And it’s good that we have multiple options, right? So yeah, that’s exactly the conversation I was having was like breaking that stereotype that the relationship can only look one way.

Stefanie Iris Weiss 43:16
Mm hmm. Yeah. So ask if you ask me questions, because those are the highlights, basically, oh, I’ll add one more thing. So your Jupiter is in Pisces, which is the traditional ruler of Pisces, Jupiter, the planet, and that is just that’s also deeply spiritual. And it’s in your 11th house of social relationships. So there’s something about the way that you relate to other people that, you know, is through this sort of, like the lens of spirituality or the divine as well.

Kevin Anthony 43:48
Does that resonate? Yeah, absolutely. See, this is, this is what I thought was really cool about this Now, mind you, the audience who are listening, she did not share any of this with me beforehand.

Stefanie Iris Weiss 44:01
As you I don’t know anything about you, by the way, like I made it because we decided we were going to do this reading. I decided not to read about your biography. I’ve not even listened to your show. I’m sorry. Because I wanted to make sure that I was just reading like a clean read.

Kevin Anthony 44:17
Great, actually appreciate that. Just make sure you go listen to it afterward. But yeah, that was the whole point. So as you know, if you’ve listened to the show, we do a pre-interview call. And that’s where we just kind of figure out like, what do we want to talk about? And then like, how’s this gonna go? And in that call, that’s when we decided to use myself as an example. But that’s as far as it went. Like, so she knows nothing about me as you just said, you know, you didn’t even listen to the show or read my bio or anything like that. So what I find so interesting about that is, pretty much everything that you shared in the highlights resonates significantly with me, and it’s also backed up by what I do for a living and how I show up in the world. So it’d be one thing for me to say Yeah, that sounds like me. Yeah, that sounds like me.

But everybody listening can look at that and go, you know, if you follow my work like, oh, that’s exactly how he’s actually living life. Right. So it very much coincides or mirrors what you’re saying, which I think is kind of interesting. I, I’ve always felt since I started doing this work, that it was something that I was meant to do. But that was more than just a feeling I never actually had, like, I never had somebody tell me, you know, this is what you should be doing. Because you got this, this, this and this, I was just like, I don’t know. And just, I’m good at it. It feels right. People keep wanting more of it. So. So yeah, that’s kind of cool. And that’s, that’s kind of what I wanted to show with this as an example, right, which is showing the possibilities here. So, you know, maybe if you are somebody listening who, you know, you don’t do this for a living, right, maybe you haven’t thought or put a lot of time and effort into developing your sexuality or your sexual relationship with your partner. Maybe this can show you some of the ways in which it can enlighten you. Right.

So that was kind of the idea. And I’m just I’m glad that it could have gone either way. In other words, you could have given me a reading and it could have said a bunch of stuff that I would have been like, Oh, I didn’t know about right, you know, and, and then I could have been like, okay, now I need to go maybe try some of that on and see, see what happens. Right. And that would have been fine, too. Because that would have been an example of enlightening something that I wasn’t aware of. Maybe it may be?

Stefanie Iris Weiss 46:36
Oh, I thought you were saying that you could have gotten it completely wrong.

Kevin Anthony 46:39
No, no, no, no, that’s not what I mean. What I mean is it could have it could have, you know, brought to light, maybe something that was in my shadow that I hadn’t seen or hadn’t looked at, right? And then then I would have the opportunity to go back and say, Okay, well that maybe I should go try that on and see does that actually, does that actually benefit me and change my experience or not? Right? So that would have been fine, too. I just think it’s but with that the listeners unless I came back, you know, six months from now and said, Well, you know, Stephanie said this and so I tried it and then here’s the result, like okay, that could work. But otherwise, we would have left the listeners a little bit in the place of oh, okay, maybe maybe not. So I just think it’s kind of cool that it actually lined up so well, because you have, you know, literally years of my work to sort of backup on pretty much everything that you just said. So that was pretty cool. I really appreciate Thank you, by the way for doing that.

Stefanie Iris Weiss 47:35
Oh, my pleasure. That was really fun.

Kevin Anthony 47:37
I love I always love diving into these systems. And you know, I’ve looked at a lot of different systems, not just you know, traditional astrology, because and you’ll laugh about this, if you know much about Gemini. In fact, it says it says it right in here. I’ll read it to you from the book because I highlighted it. Give me one and say area, okay. I know I hope I highlighted that section, I highlighted a bunch of other things. Yeah, here it is. Gemini is the first sign of the zodiac and humans born under its influence often find it is harder to hide their curiosity dot dot dot about everything. And that is literally the story of my life. This is why I’ve looked at so many systems, because I am super curious. And I always want to know more. And this is actually why I have a lot of people that I have on the show because I’m actually curious about what they have to share. I want to know what you know, right? And people, you know, fortunately, I’ve gotten some really great feedback about, you know, oh, you’re really good interviewer and this and that, and why some Thank you. But really all I do is I just ask the questions I want to know, because I’m curious.

Stefanie Iris Weiss 48:51
So that’s the best. Good Interviewer Yeah, that’s the secret.

Kevin Anthony 48:56
I didn’t know that until people told me that it’s just doing what I thought I wanted to do. So. Okay, we only got a few minutes left in the show. There are a couple of things that I wanted to just cover really quickly in regards to this work, that I think would be important for people to know. So there’s always this idea that oh, crap, my chart says this Now I’m screwed. Right? So what I wanted you to do is maybe if you could talk a little bit about like, if your chart says something in it, that isn’t necessarily favorable or good or whatever. Are you just stuck with that for the rest of your life? Or is there something you can do about it?

Stefanie Iris Weiss 49:37
So yes, this is one of the things that sort of like you know, internet and memes and things like, you know, gives people the wrong idea about the way that I work with astrology right? I think that any placement in a chart can be mitigated can be you know, if you have a difficult placement if you have you know, Saturn on your moon as an example, you know, that can create particular kinds of experiences within relationships with mothering, or whatever that is, you don’t have to live with that for the rest of your life, you don’t have to be a certain way you can deeply explore, learn the nature of that placement, what house it’s in, when it might come up for you the transit, and learn to become, you know, stronger and more grounded and more aware of your patterns and tendencies. So, I mean, my experience is that like, most of the difficult parts of our chart, the stuff we don’t like, they can become our superpower. And then that’s kind of how I structured the book, like, every single one of the signs, like the erotic challenges can become, you know, your erotic, you know, superpower as if you work through that. And so that’s the way that I feel about any bad thing in a in a particular natal chart.

Kevin Anthony 51:05
Yeah, and it’s just such an important point to really make is like, don’t freak out if your chart says this, that or the other thing, you know, a way that I always used to like, and you alluded to this before, although maybe we didn’t say it quite so directly, but you’re calling it the natal chart. And the natal chart is a snapshot of what things were when you were born. But that doesn’t mean that you’re locked into that for the rest of your life. Right, like you are a being that is continuing to evolve and grow and learn. And you know, so you’re not locked into that. But it does give us an idea of where we’re starting, and what our tendencies are, and what our challenges might be and what our strengths might be. And then we have the opportunity to grow and learn and change as individuals. And so I really wanted us to, to make that point that you’re not stuck with whatever your chart says.

Stefanie Iris Weiss 52:02
Yeah, and some people are afraid to come in for an astrology reading, because they’re like, oh, no, I’m gonna find out something bad. And I don’t want to know like the same reason you would don’t go to a medical appointment, because you don’t want to know if you know something was wrong with you. And also, you know, like our charts, or natal chart is this fix thing, right? But there’s free will, obviously, right? And also, our charts experience various kinds of evolutions as well, like, at the beginning of the year of every year on our birthday, we have a solar return. So this is like a new way of looking at our chart for the year ahead. And we have, you know, progressions and transits. So like, there’s so much moving and changing all the time.

Kevin Anthony 52:45
Yeah, absolutely. So don’t, don’t, you know, don’t get into a state of despair, because your chart says something. Important. All right. I had a question on here about transits. But I think you’ve pretty much covered that already. Like how they affect stuff. But if there’s any last, you know, things you want to share about that it’s good, because it’s similar to what we were just talking about how things are changing, right?

Stefanie Iris Weiss 53:13
Yeah, I think this is actually a good question. So I can mention something else about the way people can use the book, right? Because the book, you know, we talked about the way that you can, you know, get the book and jump to your own sunshine and read all about yourself or read all about your partner or your crush or your ex or whatever, right, like you can read it like that. But one of the things that the book has been designed to do is to help people move through the Wheel of the Year, you know, to use the book seasonally to explore their own sexuality. So you know, if you’re on Instagram, I’m sure everyone has seen like Leo season and Gemini season, right? Like everyone talks about astrology this way.

So the book is also designed with each chapter about sun signs. It’s designed to be used by anyone of any sign at that particular time of year. So if you picked up the book as we’re recording this, that would be the Leo chapter. So their general questions and exercises that pertain to the solar energy that’s coming through the universe right now for us, right? Like we’re living where the sun is currently in Leo. So we’re having Leone and kinds of experiences. So how can we use that to you know, spice up or or deepen our sexual relationship with ourselves or our partner?

Kevin Anthony 54:37
Yeah, that’s great I totally off the script question here. Just popped into my mind when you were talking about that. You’re gonna laugh when I asked you but what’s the most sexual sign again, and come on now.

Stefanie Iris Weiss 54:56
All right, fine. I’m just gonna say it. Aries which is my sign-up. is the most sort of like hungrily right there out there sexual sign like with the fewest qualms about itself, it’s the most animal sign. It’s the first sign of the zodiac. It’s the most feral sign. So in some ways, it’s the most sexual sign. The idea that Scorpio was the most sexual sign is, you know, no, that’s that’s not true. Every sign is deeply sexual. Every sign is sexual in its own unique way. So I’m given, you know, big ups to Aries because it’s my sign, but, you know, because that’s what an Aries would do. Right?

Kevin Anthony 55:41
Well, that’s, that’s great. My current girlfriend is an Aries. So happy to hear that.

Stefanie Iris Weiss 55:47
Aries Gemini is good. Yeah. By the way, it has nothing to do with sex, but Aries and Gemini are that they create a mathematical angle called a sextile.

Kevin Anthony 55:59
Oh, very good. Let’s talk more about that off-off Show. All right. That’s really all the time we have. I thought this was a really fascinating a great conversation and I want to give you an opportunity to tell the audience where they can find out more about you and then I have one last follow-up question.

Stefanie Iris Weiss 56:20
Okay, yes, so the quickest way to find out more about me is to go to my website, which is Stephanie Iris weiss.com. I’m sorry, that is a mouthful. Stephanie is spelled with an F not a pH. SS and Sam T E F as in Fran A n IE, Iris like the flower Weiss w e i ss.com Instagram is Stephanie Iris Weis. Two tick tock, which I’m just sort of doing don’t even look at my tick-tock is the real Stephanie housewife. And on Twitter I am. Eco sexuality, which is about my last book was called Eco sex. Those are the best places to find me.

Kevin Anthony 57:04
Awesome. Okay, I got one last question is one that I asked everybody on the show my wife actually started asking this question, so I kind of continue the tradition if you will. And since you haven’t listened to my show, you don’t know what it is yet. It is what is your best sexual talent?

Stefanie Iris Weiss 57:29
Oh, my best sexual talent is listening.

Kevin Anthony 57:32
Ah, that’s a good talent. Absolutely. You didn’t hesitate to answer that.

Stefanie Iris Weiss 57:40
I was going to share really dirty one, but I went for the better one.

Kevin Anthony 57:45
You can have more than one if you want to share another one.

Stefanie Iris Weiss 57:48
I’m not gonna I’m gonna keep that.

Kevin Anthony 57:54
That sounds good. Stephanie, thanks so much for coming on the show. You’re a lot of fun. And I really enjoyed it. I hope the listeners got some value out of it. But thanks for coming and sharing your talents.

Stefanie Iris Weiss 58:07
Thank you for having me. This was so much fun.

Kevin Anthony 58:10
All right, everybody. That’s all the time I have for this episode. And I will see you next week.

I hope you like this episode of the Love Lab podcast. If you enjoy this show, subscribe. Leave us a review and share it with your friends. And for more free exclusive content. Join me in the passion vault at https://www.kevinanthonycoaching.com/vault/. That’s https://www.kevinanthonycoaching.com/vault/. Thanks for listening. And remember, as Céline used to say you’re amazing!