Do Men Prefer A Tight Vagina? And other crazy vagina related ideas…

Kevin Anthony 0:12
Welcome to the love lab podcast a safe place to get real about sex. Whether you’re a man, woman, single or couple, this is the show for you. Because well, sex matters. We are your hosts, Kevin Anthony, and Celine Remy.

All right, welcome back to The Love Lab Podcast. This is episode 28. And this one is titled: Do men prefer a tight vagina, and other crazy vagina related topics? This is going to be a fun one. Because Hey, we’re talking about vaginas.

Céline Remy 0:44
I mean, who doesn’t love vaginas? Especially mine.

Well, there is really so much to talk about in today’s episode, and I found myself being giggly and excited about it. The reason we wanted to bring this topic up, is because there’s so much shame when it comes to vagina. And all jokes aside, it’s such heavy baggage, if you are a vagina owner, you have probably had to deal at some point with a certain degree of shame or discomfort related to your private parts to your vagina.

And even though I grew up in a very liberal family, and without having really much shame and, and issues around my sexuality, I still had to deal with specific things that were all impacted on for me from society that I had to be like, fuck it, you know, this is my body. This is my vagina, and I’m claiming it. And I want you to feel as empowered as I do feel now in my vagina if you are listening and have a vagina because it is liberating,

Kevin Anthony 1:52
If you have a vagina, or if you would like to occasionally visit a vagina. You know, what’s interesting is in researching this topic, the original idea was around this idea of, you know, tight vaginas or loose vaginas. And then, and then we realized that once you go down the vagina hole, it just opens up to this whole world of other vagina-related topics that need to be covered in association with this.

Céline Remy 2:25
So I want to answer that question right away. So do men prefer a tight vagina? And I say that there’s no such thing as a tight or loose vagina. Yes, you heard me there’s no such thing like this is such like bullshit. And I’m calling it right now.

Kevin Anthony 2:42
This is one of those weird things that I think like maybe comes from childhood boys who’ve never experienced a vagina, just talking bullshit that they have no idea what they’re talking about.

Céline Remy 2:53
That is true. And we’ll hear more about your stories and in vagina land, Kevin. But let me…

Kevin Anthony 2:58
Oh vagina land, one of my favorite places to visit.

Céline Remy 3:04
So the vagina has muscular tissues, and it has the ability to expand and contract it’s just kind of like a balloon, I really see that by the way, that balloon image really works well. Basically, you either have muscle tone or no muscle tone. Notice this is not like tight or loose, it has to deal with the muscles.

Kevin Anthony 3:28
And it has absolutely nothing to do with the size of your vagina.

Céline Remy 3:30
No, because they come in different sizes, right? Some people have vaginal walls that are longer, shorter, narrower, wider, it comes in all sizes and shapes. And it’s just like penises, right? This like, not sure I like

Kevin Anthony 3:47
Just got to try one on until you find the right fit.

Céline Remy 3:50
This is exactly what it really comes down to a matter of personal preferences and compatibility. Because if you have narrow vagina walls, you might prefer a shorter dick. And then somebody that’s really bigger might be just not comfortable inside you like you might not like the feel of being so full. And that doesn’t mean that you like it just means that with your anatomy. That’s how it works.

Kevin Anthony 4:19
Yes.

Céline Remy 4:22
So when a woman is fully engorged, there is a fullness sensation. And basically what happens when she’s in engorged, it wraps the penis, and it’s kind of feels soft, hot and wet. So how about you start telling us more about this Kevin?

Well, let me just introduce this first, I want to give my opinion since I am talking and I’ve got the mic and the floor here and my vagina is super excited. So, I want to come first.

Kevin Anthony 4:54
Never interrupt an excited vagina.

Céline Remy 4:58
And then I want to hear your opinion, but okay, so what I’ve noticed is and it doesn’t happen every time. But sometimes when we make love, like, I literally feel my vagina expanding so much. And it’s like, I don’t know, it triples or even more the size of what it usually is. Yet, I mean, I can still feel your cock, I can still feel the walls and yet I have this, like balloon experience of expansion.

And sometimes it even comes with like, air, you know, that comes in it, I feel it like, and also Hey, like pussy farts that come in there, where you feel engorged with air from certain positions. And then when you move this some air that got trapped, that comes with that gets released, hence the pussy for it. But what I was curious is what happens for you, when we make love and you feeling this, this expansion where I’m like, literally, my, there’s no more bottom to my vagina?

Kevin Anthony 5:57
Well, I would start by saying that one thing that I appreciate about you is that you have a lot of tone in the muscles in your vagina. And, you know, having been with a few different women over my lifetime, I can say that some did, and some didn’t. And you can really tell the difference with the ones that do.

Kevin Anthony 6:22

It’s, it’s a very different sensation. And so I never thought of it as tight or loose, I always just thought of it is like, oh, wow, she has really good control over the muscles in her vagina. Okay, and so, you know, when you, when you insert your penis into a vagina, you can always feel that you’re in a vagina. It’s not, it’s not like, you insert your penis in, you’re like, Wow, it’s so expensive in here, it’s like I’m not even in here.

That just that doesn’t have it. But what you do feel is, while you’re making love with a woman who has muscle tone, especially if she’s mastered control over those muscles, you know, kind of like think of a belly dancer, you know how a belly dancer can isolate all these different muscles, and move just specific ones while all the rest are completely you know, at rest.

Kevin Anthony 7:18

Well, a woman and I’m sure you can talk more about that, she can learn to do that with the muscles in her vagina. And so the difference really is like, oh, wow, this woman really has muscle tone and has the ability to isolate different muscles versus not. And obviously, as a man, it’s, it’s more enjoyable to feel a woman who does have that kind of muscle tone and control.

Céline Remy 7:46
I call it dexterity really, because it comes down to that. So if you have the tone and the dexterity, the sensations both for him and for you are gonna like increase.

Kevin Anthony 7:58
Yeah, it can. It can give you different sensations as a guy. But more than that, what I kind of like about it is I actually feel more connected. Because I feel more interaction from you.

Céline Remy 8:11
Oh, so do you feel like it’s really hard to put, by the way, words into this, but my experience is like I literally feel an expansion. And it’s like, like the size I am expanding so much there are no more walls. There’s no more like cover saying like bottom or like cervix that’s happening. So I’m just kind of imagining if it was like, if we were blowing this balloon, it keeps growing and growing. Like what’s your experience when you penetrate it?

Kevin Anthony 8:41
Yeah. So in regards to the expansion comment, which is just, you know, one piece of the puzzle, yeah, the whole thing. Yes, I can absolutely feel when there’s an expansion, but it doesn’t feel like it’s just gotten larger. It actually just feels like it’s gotten more relaxed. It feels more like a lack of tension. Oh, actual expansion.

Céline Remy 9:08
Oh, yeah, this is so good. Okay, I’m kind of gonna jump ahead about that, because you were like, let black of tension. And that is so fascinating, because there is actually a condition where you have such a tight vagina, and it’s called the vaginismus.  And that’s where they experienced such tightness in their vagina that sometimes they can’t even have intercourse, they can put a tampon inside or intercourse is so painful.

There’s like a burning pain. I mean, it’s physically really uncomfortable. And I’ve talked to women who had experienced that, and the solution to that, that they were doing, they were to see a lack of physical therapists with their pelvic floor muscles and their vagina, where they would insert a, something inside the vagina.

Céline Remy 9:59

And they would love I mean if they could insert it. So basically, when they would get to that place where then she would be relaxed enough that she could put that probe inside the vagina, it’s, it’s pretty small. And she would have to learn to contract and relax. And that’s how she was able to reteach her muscles and her body and the whole like cells, that it’s okay to be relaxed and was able to get over the vaginismus.

Kevin Anthony 10:20
business. So what you’re saying is, it’s very similar to what you teach women with the Jade egg?

Céline Remy 10:26
Absolutely, absolutely. Tell us more about.

So my experience with working with women and doing hands-on what I do full vaginal massage, pussy massages, and really notice, like, the misconception here is that often when you strive for a tight vagina, you will hold tensions when you hold tensions, things become painful. And or some other things that happen is that you disconnect, you disconnect from parts of yourself inside of a giant. And sensations are not the same anymore.

So maybe you can’t feel anything you’re not. Maybe it takes you forever to even experience sensations of reaching orgasm. I mean, there are so many different things that do show up. And it really comes down to that piece that you mentioned, Kevin, in terms of the relaxation. So for most people, they always focus on the contraction. So if you So focus, I don’t want to have a loose vagina, I’m going to make it tied, or I’m going to do my key goals, because I’ve learned about my key goals, and they all go around and their contract. And what they don’t notice is that they’re walking around with tight assets,

Kevin Anthony 11:34
like vaginas,

Céline Remy 11:36
tight vaginas, as well. But look, the tension has been held there all of the time. And the key is absolutely in the relaxation.

Kevin Anthony 11:43
Yeah. So there’s, there are a couple of things here. The first one is, is that some women may be holding a lot of tension in their vaginas as a result of stress, maybe as a result of trauma. Hmm. Right. So there’s that piece to it, right. And so there are the women who may have those types of issues that would need services from you like doing actual vaginal massage, and some actual therapeutic work, that would help them start to release some of that trauma, some of that tension.

Then there’s the other segment of women who are trying to achieve muscle tone. Hmm. But only focus on you know, the contraction and not the release. What I thought of as a musician in my head when I was thinking of when you were describing what was the difference between a note in silence. So something maybe a lot of people listening, don’t know, but if you listen to the intro of our show, the intro starts with some djembe drumming. One of the reasons why we love that intro is because we both play djembe. As we play other things do, we’re primarily guitarist and singer and stuff, but it’s really obvious in Djembe, the idea between the hit the actual sound, and space, the silence in between.

And so when you’re a musician, you can’t just focus on making notes, you have to focus on the notes and the silence in between the notes. And that’s what makes something melodic. That’s what makes something sound musical and good to the ear. So I think this, this is a first thing I thought of, and it’s a really good comparison when it comes to if you want to train your vagina, you can’t just focus on how tight and how many times and how hard you’re squeezing.

Céline Remy 13:37
And you know, I like to say that once you have a penis inside you, you can play the flute with your vagina. So I’ve see staying in the musical realm here. But it’s that like you putting pressure and then you releasing, it’s the same thing.

Kevin Anthony 13:50
So describe to our listeners a little bit. So we know that you work with women in releasing trauma and doing vaginal massage and that sort of thing. And I know you’ve had amazing testimonials from some of these women who’ve had real breakthroughs. Yeah, thank you. That’s the word breakthrough is from doing that work. Describe a little bit also about how you teach women with the Jade egg and how that sort of practice works.

Céline Remy 14:16
Yeah, ultimately, when you use a jade egg, it’s really all about re-patterning the DNA and your habits and changing how you do things. So most of the time, we’re very conscious about what we do to ourselves and our vaginas, we just shove up a tampon up inside of a giant as we go to the gynecologist and they just like put the speculum inside or have sex with somebody. And we’re not quite ready, but we don’t say anything.

It’s about re reclaiming, and just kind of like being like, Hey, I’m going to listen to the messages that my pussy has for me.  I’m going to really let my pussy unfold like its own timing and not put an agenda into things. This is really the biggest learning because some people will approach the jade egg as another like workout.

Kevin Anthony 15:01
It’s weight lifting, vaginal weight lifting.

Céline Remy 15:04
And you can do it that way. And that’s when I started doing that. That’s really how I did it. But I did not stick with it. And when I changed my approach and became much more feminine in my approach and use it more as a way to really achieve that relaxation. Like that gives you feedback because you do attention, let’s say you will have the egg inside and do it but a tension to try to squeeze the egg but then you have to do relaxation. And that’s really that focus on that relaxation. But I think ultimately, I’d like to do another episode that’s really specifically on the jade egg because there’s so much more to be said.

But it’s really understanding that it’s nothing about like you’ve China is loose, you just have lost muscle tones. And it’s to starting to isolate like Kevin was mentioning which areas you need to tighten and relax and which areas you need to wake up a little bit if it’s really loose in that sense of not toned so that you can regain muscular strength. Because it is true that if you’ve given birth, it is possible that you could have pushed too hard and lost the tenacity in the muscles. It’s absolutely possible

Kevin Anthony 16:11
possible but not necessarily either.

Céline Remy 16:14
So good. Tell us about that. Tell us experiences with women who had kids.

Kevin Anthony 16:22
I’ve had two partners in the past one long term one a little bit shorter term, both who had children recently, and neither of them had what people would call loose vaginas. In fact, the first woman that ever had sex with who had had a child, I met her when she was still pregnant. Obviously, the dad was not in the picture at all. But she was also she was a triathlete. She was a personal trainer, she was super fit. And, you know, we didn’t end up having sex on until after she gave birth. But shortly thereafter, we did have sex. And I can say from what I remember, there were no problems with a loose vagina at all. But she was very fit. I mean, she was running throughout most of her pregnancy and cycling.

And she, you know, after giving birth, she just rebounded right away and was off and running. The second one had been a few years think her son was somewhere around three or four, maybe three and a half, something like that. So it had been a few years. But again, there was there were no issues with a loose vagina or anything like that. She was relatively fit to not like a triathlete. But yeah, so my experience is is that, you know, this idea that while I had a kid, so, therefore, it’s a mess, or therefore it’s looser, therefore to this, that or the other thing really isn’t true. It doesn’t necessarily matter what your life circumstances are. It’s just a matter of what your physical fitness

Céline Remy 18:11
Yeah, well, I think really, ultimately, is if you were fit before and you have a kid, you tend to stay fit. If you already had imbalances in issues before pregnancies will put you more out of balance. And so it’s not something that was brand new due to that it’s something that was already there underlying. And then it’s just a matter of, again, finding the proper muscles, because they’re just muscles like I was saying earlier, so you know, you just need to retrain them and they’ll get right back into shape. Exactly.

Kevin Anthony 18:37
And that that’s the really the cool part is that it’s not you’re born this way or that way, or there’s nothing you can do the hope. In his situation, if you’re not where you want to be, is that you can always get there, it just takes a little work. Mm-hmm.

Céline Remy 18:52
So we learned that too tight can be painful for both. So it’s not something that you want to strive for. We know that that relaxation piece, and that’s like expansion is essential. So, what you want to do is focus on your muscle tone so that you can strip squeeze and relax around a penis. That way his sensations and yours are increased. The bottom line is there is a difference between toned and tight, and I’m just gonna laughing cuz I’m thinking, you know, really, ultimately, guys, it’s gonna be fucking happy to be inside the vagina.

Kevin Anthony 19:28
Well, that’s that’s. No complaint, either way, you know, but I will say this that, that I remember the first time I was ever with a woman who really had good dexterity, Uh, huh. actually had good tone and really could control it. I remember going Holy shit, what is that? That is so cool. Wow, I didn’t even know that was possible, you know. And then and then having after that partner, other partners who didn’t have that, I was kind of like, oh, like, that was really cool. I really hope there are more women that know how to do that. And then, of course, later on in life, finding more and more women who actually did have that kind of control. I was like, Oh, yeah, so it’s not like with the other women. I was like, Oh, this isn’t any good.

Haha, it was just that was like, Wow, that was I always viewed it as like, that was something really special or like, like, really amazing. And like, I hope I can really find that again. So, okay, and I can honestly say, maybe, maybe my past pool is a little exceptional. But actually, there are quite a few women who possess that skill. It’s not like, you know, the top 1% of all women who master this. So if you’re listening to this, and you’re like, Wow, I can’t do that. Don’t worry, you can very easily do it if you just give it a little bit of work.

Céline Remy 20:53
Hmm, that’s, that’s good.

advice there. And so next time you making love, just kind of try to do a little squeeze and then relax and see how that feels. But you both.

Kevin Anthony 21:05
Alright, so I think we have thoroughly buried the myth of the loose vagina. But remember this episode do men prefer tight vaginas and other vagina-related ideas? Like I said, this, this can be a deep hole. So what other things sort of came up when we were researching this topic?

Céline Remy 21:29
There’s, there’s definitely something that I’ve been wanting to speak about for a long time. And that’s around Libya plus, and that’s a subject that’s dear to my heart, because I’m one of these women that has an Audi vagina, where my inner lipstick out, therefore, I’m not the perfect vagina that’s depicted in all the porn, which I really don’t give a shit anymore. But I did experience some discomfort and shame around that I had a boyfriend who laughed at the size of my lab. Yes. And I was like, What a jerk. testicles way lower than my leg? Yes, do but I did not say that.

Because I felt that it was really mean and that I could feel very hurt by what he said to me. And I did not want to inflict that on him. So I stayed shut. You know, I did not say a thing. But ultimately took me a while to fall in love again, with my vagina as it is.

Kevin Anthony 22:17
Yeah, this is a very unfortunate modern occurrence. That somehow somewhere and honestly,  I think it mostly starts with porn. There were some very famous porn actresses, who in the very beginning of Libya, plastic becoming a thing started doing that. And then it sort of became a thing throughout porn to have a certain type of vagina that is always present in porn movies. But, you know, as we all know, vaginas come in all different shapes and sizes and colors and hairstyles and everything else. They really

Céline Remy 22:54
do. And so the idea that your vagina is not perfect, the normal is bullshit. What we need is more education. And there was something fascinated that we that we found is that in Australia, the Royal Australian College of general practitioners of this decided to issue a new guideline and procedures around how they approach Libya plastic and what they started doing is that’s when women would come in and with the intention of getting a Libya plastic, they would give them actual pictures and show them genitalia, what normal genitalia look like. And just from doing this, they decreased the amount of labor plus the by 28%,

Kevin Anthony 23:36
28%, just because women saw other women’s vaginas and went, oh, mine is normal.

Céline Remy 23:41
There’s nothing wrong with me.

Kevin Anthony 23:42
What’s amazing to me, is how many people have never really seen other people’s genital Hmm. And this idea that you know, every woman thinks her vagina is weird, or every guy thinks his penis is too small, or whatever it is, is just completely other bullshit. If you really saw the full range of what’s available out there, and you would realize that these, you know, like, for instance, in porn movies, every guy’s got an enormous penis. Do you know the average penis length is five inches? Five, that’s the average penis length. Important movies. It’s almost double that. Like, that’s not normal, right? Same thing with vaginas. Is this like those super tiny in your lips that you can’t even barely see is like the norm in a porn movie?

Céline Remy 24:31
It’s just one flavor of vaginas.

Kevin Anthony 24:34
I can honestly say that was the that is absolutely the minority of women I’ve been with.

Céline Remy 24:40
Yeah, well, then do yourself a favor. If you in doubt, go to a nude beach. And just check it out. And notice the variety and appreciate it because you’re going to feel so much better about yourself

Kevin Anthony 24:51
if you don’t be a pair of khaki and everybody well.

Céline Remy 24:56
True. So one thing about Libya policy that I really wanted people to understand it, it’s not a minor procedure. It’s an invasive surgery that requires a lot of healing time. And anytime you do a surgery, no matter how easy it is, you create scar tissue and scar tissues don’t always heal very well. And some people lose sensitivity. I heard a story of a woman who was seeking the help of a sex illogical bodyworker, a colleague of mine because she had had a lady at busty and she wasn’t very well informed. When they did the procedure, they cut off way more than she thought they would. You know, it’s like so many nerve endings right there. And suddenly, she did not feel as many sensations.

She also had a pain that she did an experienced before just because of the scar tissue and the healing that happened. That’s that that had some trauma to it. That can be worked with you can do through massage through bodywork, you can heal some of that. But honestly, why would you mess with a perfectly normal, unhappy vagina when you don’t have to?

Kevin Anthony 26:10
Exactly. So now she’s on the road to recovery and seeking therapy through somebody who does the type of work that you do only because society convinced her that there was something wrong with her vagina, and there really wasn’t.

Céline Remy 26:23
Yeah,

I want to show one more number here. That apparently there was a 39 increase a 39% increase in labia plastic surgeries in 2016. In America. So that’s more than 12,000 procedures. And I bet that out of these procedures, only a handful were really necessary.

Kevin Anthony 26:46
Yeah. And we do admit that there are potential circumstances in which a labiaplasty is needed for other than just Hey, I want to look different. And you know, if that’s the case, absolutely, you know, but it’s, it’s a little shocking to me to hear that 12,000 people in one year, all underwent a fairly major procedure, just to change the looks most likely because they don’t know that they look normal. Hmm, that’s a little shocking.

So I love what they’re doing in Australia. I also love that you and I, actually have a friend who took this mission on quite a few years ago. And he created a book called Petals. It is up close pictures of vaginas of all ages, colors, shapes, sizes, hairstyles, everything. His true intent with creating that book was really to show women that there’s this huge diversity out there.

Céline Remy 27:51
Yeah, if you’ve never seen the book, it’s called petals. And it’s by Nick Carras. And we highly recommend that you check it out, we’ll put the link in our show. Nope. So because we have it on our coffee table of young we have a coffee table, but we have a couple of copies running around the house, and we love showing them around. Like,

Kevin Anthony 28:11
like so many things in life, right? The more we experience, the more our mind expands. Right. So the more different types of vaginas a woman sees, the more her world or her mind expands to realize that it’s all normal.

Céline Remy 28:29
Mm-hmm. And so for all the women listening here today, and if you’re unsure about your relationship with your body with your vagina, and you want to do like something to activate your pleasure and your radiance, I want to invite you to just visit my site, I will put the link in the show notes. I have a very special meditation guided meditation practice that I’ve created for you to help you connect with your PC in a totally different way. And so yeah, I’d like to invite join me on this journey because it’s liberating.

Kevin Anthony 29:04
Well, you know, vagina land is a vast and mysterious place. And our show is only roughly about 30 minutes long. And we’re just about out of time. So there’s so much more than we could cover about vagina land. And if you have any other vagina-related questions, type them into the comments. Go to Celine’s site, send her a message. And we would be happy to cover more about vaginas in a future episode.

Céline Remy 29:34
And remember, and none of it is better or worse. And just stop letting the societal bullshit really determine how much pleasure and fulfillment you can have with yourself with your body and with your life.

Yeah, go vaginas.

Kevin Anthony 29:50
Go vaginas.

We hope you liked this episode of the love lab podcast. If you enjoyed this show, leave a comment and share it with your friends.

Céline Remy 30:03
And if you want more, we have an entire digital library with the best sex tips and Relationship Advice at CelineRemy.com. That’s c e li n e r e m y.com. So join us in the sex vault to continue this adventure.

Kevin Anthony 30:21
Thanks for listening.

Céline Remy 30:22
And remember, you’re amazing