Kevin Anthony 0:00
Welcome to the Love Lab podcast, the place to be for honest and real talk about relationships and sex, whether you’re a man or woman, single or a couple, this is the show for you. I am your host, Kevin Anthony, and I am here to help you have the relationship of your dreams and the best sex of your life.

Kevin Anthony 0:27
All right, welcome back to the Love Lab podcast. This is episode 374, and it is titled Everything You Need to Know About Orgasms. We are going to have a fun time today. We’re going to get a little bit geeky, and we’re going to really dive into orgasms. We are going to talk about what an orgasm actually is. What happens during an orgasm? What happens after an orgasm? Why is it that orgasms feel good? What are some of the benefits of orgasms? I’m going to cover a few orgasm statistics. I’m going to talk about the types of Female Orgasms. I’m going to talk about the qualities of orgasms, the types of male orgasms, the four major nerve pathways for orgasms, problems that can prevent you from orgasming, and more. It is going to be a packed show today about orgasms.

Kevin Anthony 1:29
Now I have done multiple shows over the years talking about specific aspects of orgasms, so some of the things that you’ll hear in this, I’ve done whole shows on it, and I will reference what episodes those are, if you want more in-depth information about a specific piece. However, this episode is going to attempt to cover the full range of orgasmic possibilities. You should be able to walk away from this feeling like you are pretty much an expert on orgasms after this, at least I hope so. So that’s what we are going to do in today’s show.

Kevin Anthony 2:18
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Kevin Anthony 3:15
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Kevin Anthony 4:02
And since we are on the topic of orgasms, today, I want to share something with you real quick that I have not shared before on this show at all, but I got t-shirts, and what do my T-shirts say? If you’re watching the video, you can see this. It says more orgasms, less wars, absolutely. So this is the male version in navy blue with gold. We also have the female version in pink with white. You can find those on my website at https://www.kevinanthonycoaching.com/products/ go check them out if you want to spread a great message of more orgasms and less wars.

Kevin Anthony 4:46
Okay, let’s jump right in and talk about orgasms. Because who doesn’t love a good orgasm? I want to start with what an orgasm is. I mean, pretty much everybody knows one when they feel one, although that’s not necessarily true. You do this work long enough, you will hear people say, Well, I think I’ve had an orgasm, but I’m not sure. But for the most part, once you’ve had one, you pretty much know that you’ve had one. But what is an orgasm? Exactly? Well, an orgasm is the height or peak of sexual arousal when your body releases sexual tension and pressure. It involves very intense feelings of pleasure in your genitals and throughout your body. An orgasm usually lasts a few seconds and feels very good. So I’m going to be sharing a bunch of stuff, including what I just read there, that comes from the Cleveland Clinic. They are a reference I use a lot when talking about health and medical-related things when it comes to sexuality. They actually have some pretty good information on their site.

Kevin Anthony 5:53
So that is their definition of what an orgasm is, which I think does a pretty good job of explaining basically what an orgasm is. They usually last a few seconds, and that is true for most people, although that can be extended out to be longer, something we might talk about later. So now that we know what an orgasm is, at least generally speaking, what happens during an orgasm? It’s like, what is actually happening in the body when you orgasm? Well, first, your body suddenly releases sexual tension that has built up during the first two phases of the sexual response cycle, your heart rate, blood pressure, and breathing rate increase, and hormones are released into your bloodstream. We’ll talk more about that later. And muscles in your genitals and anus rhythmically contract repeatedly, about once per second for several seconds. So those are the physiological things that are happening in the body, and now that will make more sense as we talk a little bit more about orgasms as we go on, why some of those things are important, and how they affect your body and your mental health state. So those are some things that are happening during the orgasm. Now, the muscle contractions play an important role.

Kevin Anthony 7:32
For example, muscles in your vagina and uterus contract, so this can cause a small amount of fluid to release from your genitals, which can facilitate lubrication. And keep in mind, of course, ladies, you are all potentially multi orgasmic, so having an orgasm is not the end of sex for you, which means that by releasing some of that increasing lubrication, it’s going to make sex even more pleasurable and lead you towards your next orgasm. Also, muscles at the base of your penis contract, which usually leads to ejaculation. Usually, notice they use the term usually, and we’re going to talk about that when we’re talking about men’s orgasms a little bit later. So those are some of the things that are happening during an orgasm. I would add to it also that, you know, like they say here, your body releases sexual tension that has built up during the first two phases of the sexual response cycle. Yes, that’s true, but I would add to it that you feel, you feel a lot of what we call energy moving through your body.

Kevin Anthony 8:52
And if we want to kind of talk more from the tantric perspective, it is a huge release of energy, and what you do with that energy? Well, that depends. You can just release it all and let it go. You can recirculate it through your body. You can share it with your partner. There are a lot of things you can do potentially with that energy. But you know, when you’re reading medical websites, of course, they’re just going to give you pretty much the physiological stuff. I just wanted to add in there that during an orgasm, you feel this huge movement of sexual or life force energy throughout your body. So then what happens after an orgasm? Because obviously there’s a before, during, and after, right? In the few minutes after orgasm, your body slowly returns to its normal state. So body parts that became swollen or erect, such as your penis or clitoris, go back to the previous size or color. That is only so again, I’m reading to you straight from CLI. Live in a clinic, so they’re talking about purely physiological stuff that is not necessarily true.

Kevin Anthony 10:08
So, depending on how long you’ve taken to build up your sexual energy when you orgasm, things might stay engorged and erect, especially true for women, but also potentially true for men. If you spent a long time building up the sexual energy and making love, having sex for an extended period of time, even if you orgasm, everything might stay just as engorged, just as erect, just as swollen as it was previously. So it’s not necessarily true that that’s going to happen, although that can happen; it generally tends to happen for most men, because most men, when they orgasm, they also ejaculate, and that creates a refractory period, and that does create some significant physiological changes. We will talk more about that as we go. Genitals may feel overly sensitive or uncomfortable to touch. Yeah, some people will experience that it’s uncomfortable just because it’s very, very, very sensitive, or, as they say, overly sensitive.

Kevin Anthony 11:24
And you might need a minute or so for that to sort of calm down before it feels pleasurable again, to have stimulation. It’s not necessarily true for everyone. It’s not necessarily true all the time, but that can happen. Skin all over your body can look and feel flushed. That generally does happen, and you may feel satisfied, relaxed, or tired. Satisfied, yes, relaxed, yes, potentially. I mean, all of these are possible. But again, in my world, in the world I live in, in the world I hope that most of you live in also, is this world where we take the time to cultivate sexual energy and build it and build it and ride waves of it, so that even when we do have an orgasm, we don’t feel tired, we Don’t feel like, Okay, that’s it. I’m done, right? Well, like we, we potentially are still extremely turned down. We are feeling massive amounts of sexual energy surging through our bodies, and we’re like, yeah, so yes, you may feel satisfied, relaxed, you’re tired, you may also feel extremely energized, like your whole body is vibrating and full of energy, and you either want to keep making love or you want to go run around the block, maybe even both.

Kevin Anthony 12:56
They also say, of course, that some people may become sexually aroused again in a few minutes after orgasm, and can have multiple orgasms; some need more time before they can orgasm again. And this varies based on, you know, individuals. That is absolutely true, especially if you’re having the kind of sex that I talk about all the time, which is this really energizing sex that just, you know, makes you feel truly alive. So those are some things that happen after an orgasm. The next thing we want to talk about is why is it that an orgasm feels good. What is physiologically happening in our body that makes it feel good? Well, during an orgasm, your body releases dopamine, known as the feel-good hormone, and oxytocin, sometimes called the love drug. These hormones increase feelings of happiness and other positive emotions, and they can counteract the stress hormone cortisol. So those are some reasons. There are actually other hormones that get released as well. So it’s not just dopamine, and you also have endorphins, oxytocin, prolactin, and serotonin; all of these things make you feel good, and we’ll talk a little bit more about that under the benefits of orgasms. I would also add to Why does an orgasm feel good?

Kevin Anthony 14:25
What I was just talking about is that you’ve moved massive amounts of energy, and potentially your whole body is still buzzing and vibrating and full of that energy. And you feel powerful. You feel, you know, confident, you’re just you feel like you could go take on the world. So if, after you orgasm, you feel deflated and tired and you know, less powerful. Yeah, then you’re not really doing it right. To be honest, you’re just not taking enough time to really build up your sexual energy. You’re probably, if you’re a man, in the five to seven-minute range before ejaculating or less. If you’re a woman, you’re probably just going straight for that really quick first initial clitoral orgasm, and you’re really not taking the time to build up the energy. So yeah, your orgasm should feel good because you’ve taken the time to build up that energy, and also because all of those wonderful hormones that make us feel good are being released. So what are some of the benefits? Obviously, we have the feel-good hormones being released, but are there potentially other benefits to having orgasms? I’m so glad you asked that question, because yes, yes, there are.

Kevin Anthony 16:03
I have a list here. I’m sure there are probably even a few more, but here are some of the general ones that you will find if you research the benefits of orgasms can relieve headaches or other pain, which is kind of funny, right? Because what is the most stereotypical excuse for not wanting to have sex, honey? I have a headache. Well, funny, you should mention that, because, don’t you know, orgasms actually can help relieve headaches and other pain. Now you can only use that comeback if you’re good enough in the bedroom to actually give her an orgasm. And let’s be honest, it’s not about her having a headache. It never was. It probably never will be. She’s simply using that as an excuse because she doesn’t want to have sex with you, most likely because she’s not getting the kind of sex that she really wants. You hear me say that a lot on the show, guys. It is sad, but often true. So if she tells you that she has a headache, and you try to counter it with, well, hey, this is really good for relieving headaches. It’s probably not going to work because it’s not about the headache, but anyway, just so you know, orgasms can relieve headaches. It’s also good for heart health. It can ease menstrual cramps. It can give you a feeling of self-confidence. Everybody feels better when they’ve had an orgasm. Really, is true.

Kevin Anthony 17:47
It can improve sleep, reduce stress, as mentioned previously. It releases dopamine, endorphins, oxytocin, prolactin, and serotonin. It can help you connect with your body. This is an interesting one I found when I was, you know, preparing this list of benefits. And I was really glad I found it, because I was it made me think about a client that I’ve been working with, and this is just one client, you know, he’s sort of representative of many clients that I’ve worked with over the years. You know, often when I’m working with somebody who has difficulty orgasming, obviously, there can be physical problems, and we’ll talk about some of those at the end of this show. But there can also be psychological problems, things that you know are getting in the way of you being able to access your orgasm. And one of those things can sort of be it’s a form of dissociating it doesn’t have to be as dramatic as you might think.

Kevin Anthony 19:09
You know, from a psychological perspective, when we say somebody’s dissociating, you know, you might think that they’re, you know, having a hallucination, or, you know, schizophrenic, or something like that. That can be, but it doesn’t have to be that drastic. People can sort of dissociate for a lot of reasons. It’s usually some sort of past trauma, especially some sort of sexual trauma, but it basically means that they’re sort of checking out of their body. They’re either getting too much in their mind, or they’re even potentially leaving. I had one client one time describe it as in the middle of sex, they were above, the two of them, looking down at themselves having sex. So they weren’t physically in their body during that actual physical you. You know, a sexual act, and obviously that’s not good.

Kevin Anthony 20:06
You want to be present in your body. You want to be physically feeling what’s happening in your body during sex. But it can also get in the way of you being able to have an orgasm, and we can talk about that more later. So you know, when looking at the benefits of orgasm, I kind of went into that little side note, because the benefit is it can help you connect with your body, meaning that when you’re really feeling orgasms like you are, you have to be present in your body in order to do that. So if you struggle with really being present in your body, which so many people do these days, being able to achieve orgasm is a way that you can really connect more with the physicality of being in your body in a way that is healthy and pleasurable.

Kevin Anthony 20:59
Next, it can teach you what feels good. So, you know, if something’s bringing you closer to orgasm or helping you orgasm, then pretty much, you know, hey, this is a thing that I like. So experimenting and seeing what gets you closer to orgasm really helps you understand what works for your body and what you like. Once you understand that, then obviously you can do more of those things on your own, if it’s a solo practice, but that means you can also ask your partner for those things. So yeah, it can definitely help you figure out what you like, what you don’t like, and what feels good. It can also strengthen relationships. I definitely am a firm believer in the fact that couples who orgasm, especially together, have healthier, more loving relationships. And pretty much everybody knows that. You know. Well, I should obviously women always know that when men are orgasming, they’re happy.

Kevin Anthony 22:05
And I think most men understand that when their women are orgasming, they’re happier, too. You know, how many times have you said, you know, maybe a co-worker or something like, Man, she’s a bitch, she really needs to get laid. Like you’ve heard that a million times, right? Or you have even experienced your own partners suddenly being much nicer to you after you made time for sex, and you actually took the time to give her the kind of sex she wants, suddenly she likes you a whole lot more. And of course, I talk about all the time on this show that you know the research studies show us that couples who have healthy, fulfilling sex lives also have longer, more successful, and happier relationships. So it can definitely strengthen relationships, and orgasms can also boost your immune system. So those are some of the benefits of orgasms. I’m sure you could come up with even more of them if you really thought about it.

Kevin Anthony 23:10
I don’t know that I necessarily need to sell it to you any more than that. Yeah, I don’t know that I’ve ever heard anybody say that they don’t like having an orgasm. Usually, what happens is, you hear somebody say, Well, I just don’t, and I don’t really care, but that’s usually because they probably haven’t in their life, or haven’t much, or they have some sort of trauma that’s in the way. But yeah, nobody really says, Yeah, orgasms. They’re not really for me, not if they’ve experienced real orgasms and good orgasms, at least anyway. All right, so those were some benefits of orgasms before we move on to the next segment, which I have some stats on orgasms that I’d like to share with you. And then I really want to dive into the types of orgasms and the qualities and the nerve pathways, and start to get even more geeky about this stuff. I want to take a short break for a word from my sponsor.

Kevin Anthony 24:23
Today’s sponsor is beducated. You know, we’re talking all about orgasms today, and before getting on the show today, I went into beducated, and I just searched for orgasms, because I was like, I wonder how much content they have that’s relevant to what I’m talking about today. And I think there were, like, 48 results for orgasms. There were courses in there on, you know, the female orgasm. I saw courses on cervical orgasms, all kinds of stuff in. There. I am really happy to have beducated on board as a sponsor again for this show. I think what they are doing is really great. In fact, I even personally know some of the people who have created courses within the beducated platform. So one of the things that I’ve noticed that beducated is doing is they’re reaching out to other experts and having them create courses, and putting them all together on this one platform. And as I go through some of the courses, I’m like, Oh, I know that person, I had them on my show, which is pretty cool. So I think that they are doing something really, really amazing, and trying to help people become more beducated. So educated is where toe-curling pleasure meets expert-backed education, and you can dive into 150-plus courses that will help you enjoy sex more, master new spicy techniques, and radiate confidence in the bedroom. Beducated was created by top experts and has a huge variety of courses to choose from, everything from self-pleasure to kink, all in one place. Courses include video tutorials, practical exercises, and the information in them, like I said, they’re reaching out to other professionals. And I really think that from what I’ve seen, the courses I’ve gone through. The information has been really great. So if you’re in a relationship and want to enhance intimacy and spice up your sex life, then check out beducated today by going to the link in the description below. Make sure that you use the code Love Lab to get 50% off the yearly pass. There is a risk-free 14-day money-back guarantee, so there is nothing to lose. Sign up, get access, and see all of the content for yourself. Remember to use code Love Lab to get 50% off the yearly pass. The link is in the description.

Kevin Anthony 26:58
All right, let’s just jump right back in, let’s talk about some orgasm statistics. I actually did an entire episode on this show. It was episode 353, and it was titled orgasm stats. Who is who isn’t, how and why. I just want to give you a couple of the top orgasm statistics while we are on the subject of orgasms today. 81.6% of women don’t orgasm from intercourse alone without additional clit stimulation. That is, only 18.4% of women report that intercourse alone is sufficient to orgasm. When I talked about this in the previous episode, I said, and I still believe that the reason why that is is because intercourse doesn’t last long enough for most women, and that is because most men are in the five to seven minute range, for how long they last before they ejaculate. And we know that it takes the average woman, 25, excuse me, to 30 minutes to orgasm.

Kevin Anthony 28:06
So that is the primary reason why I think most women don’t orgasm from intercourse alone. And this is why women get really addicted to their vibrators, because they’re like, All right, get that thing on my clip. Get me blast it off before you do not the best way to approach it, but you hear me talk about that a lot on this show, 95% of heterosexual men usually or always orgasm during partnered sexual activity, compared to just 65% of heterosexual women. I mean, that’s obvious too. We know most men are in what I call the premature ejaculator club. Even if you are in the average range of five to seven minutes, I still would consider that to be definitely premature ejaculation. I would say anything under 30 minutes is probably premature ejaculation. And honestly, Celine and I used to define premature ejaculation as ejaculating anytime before you choose to. And that’s still really my definition. Now, obviously, mileage will vary, right? We are humans in physical bodies. Physical bodies have ups and downs. Nobody’s perfect, you know, I can’t say that. I can 100% control it all the time, but most of the time, the overwhelming majority of the time, that is true.

Kevin Anthony 29:50
So that being said, right, like we understand why 95% of heterosexual men usually have an orgasm. It’s because they just they’re just in that premature you. Ejaculator group, and they just orgasm and ejaculate at the same time, very quickly. So, needless to say, they get there the majority of the time, where for women, obviously, it’s different. At least 65% are usually or always. That’s probably based on the other stat, in conjunction with, you know, other things than just intercourse, such as, you know, using a vibrator. Five to 10% of women have never orgasmed, though many of these women will later in life. Yeah, I don’t, you know, I don’t know what the age range of people they surveyed was when they did this particular survey, but five to 10% that that’s, that’s a pretty high number. I would like to see everybody be able to orgasm whenever they want to. So be great if we could bring that number smaller.

Kevin Anthony 31:03
59% of women have faked in orgasm. That’s terrible. I understand, ladies, as I said in the previous show, I understand why you do this, and I just want to say it’s not really doing you any good if he thinks he’s doing a good job in satisfying you, then he has no incentive whatsoever to do anything better. And I know the sex is probably terrible, so you just want to get it over with. Fake the orgasm. Move on, but it would be really in your best interest and his, if you sat down and had some really good, emotionally mature conversations about what’s going on with your sex and how you can make it better, so that there is no longer a need to want to get it over with quickly, or to fake an orgasm or anything like that. And lastly, women take an average of 14 minutes during partnered sex to orgasm, and an average of eight minutes during masturbation. That’s an interesting one. This particular study said women take an average of 14 minutes during partnered sex to orgasm. The previous studies that I reference a lot say 25 to 30 minutes. I would say 14 minutes is pretty quick. That might be the case if they’re, say, using a vibrator on their clitoris, which is often true to how a lot of women tend to masturbate. So obviously, that’s going to get them there a lot faster.

Kevin Anthony 32:37
So those are just a few interesting stats I thought I would throw in, because I find them interesting and entertaining. And if you didn’t get a chance to listen to episode 353, orgasm stats, now you got a little bit of a little glimpse of what I talked about in that one. There was way, way more in that episode. It was a whole hour-long episode on all different stats revolving around orgasms. That was a really fun one to make, actually, all right, so let’s talk about types of Female Orgasms. Typically, when we’re talking about orgasms, you just they all get lumped in together. It’s like you had an orgasm, okay? But especially for women, it’s not that simple. It’s not just, oh, I had an orgasm. That’s like a generic word that covers a bunch of different things. So I’ve got some types of orgasms. I’ve also got some, what I would call, qualities of orgasms. So let’s start with the types. First is clitoral orgasms. That’s pretty obvious, self-explanatory. That is an orgasm that is achieved through stimulation of the clitoris.

Kevin Anthony 33:52
Next, we have G Spot slash vaginal orgasms. You kind of hear those two terms used interchangeably. Some people say that they’re not the same thing. A lot of people say that they are the same thing. There are other spots inside the vagina, other than just the G-spot, that can trigger orgasms, but a lot of times when people are referring to vaginal orgasms, they’re talking about orgasms that are triggered by the G-spot. I like to call those G Spot orgasms and vaginal orgasms, but I’m kind of putting them on the same one here, because you will sometimes hear people refer to them sort of interchangeably. You also have cervical orgasms and then blended orgasms. So those are some of the main types of orgasms for women: clitoral, G Spot, vaginal, cervical, and blended. Now a couple of things I want to say about those before we move on. G Spot, orgasm. Oops, the G spot does exist. It is now considered by medical science to be part of the clitoral complex.

Kevin Anthony 35:10
So it is actually a real thing. The way that you can stimulate that part of the clitoral complex is from internal stimulation on the upper part of the vaginal canal, one to maybe two knuckles deep, and it is very pleasurable, and I think that all women have the potential to experience that, although some women have a bit more of a challenge accessing those than others, but if they do, it can absolutely be awakened and learned. So that is possible. And then cervical orgasms, obviously, are orgasms that are triggered by stimulation of the cervix. And a lot of women will say that cervical orgasms are really intense and really deep and really powerful. There’s another big sex educator out there who calls them the Holy Grail of cervical orgasms. That could be true. I’m not a woman, so I can’t say I can only tell you what women tell me, but most women do tell me that they are really intense, really deep, sometimes really emotional, and very, very pleasurable. If you want to know more about cervical orgasms, Celine and I did an episode. It was actually episode 77, so that’s going a ways back. And that was titled cervical orgasms, or what they are and how to have one. So if you want like a full in-depth episode on cervical orgasms, go check that one out.

Kevin Anthony 36:52
And then I also mentioned something called blended orgasms. And blended orgasms are exactly what they sound like. It’s a combination of those other types that may kind of happen all at once, or start one way and finish another way, or move from one to the other during the experience. So there is a possibility that that can happen as well. So those are types of Female Orgasms. Now, even with each one of those types, there are things that I’m calling qualities of an orgasm that I often hear women describe them so they’ll say, Oh yeah, I had a really great, you know, clitoral orgasm, and it felt like this or it was like that, right? So some of the qualities are explosive, and that’s one that you typically hear talked about when it comes to clitoral orgasms. So when you’re doing a lot of intense stimulation on the clitoris, a lot of times, women will describe that orgasm as feeling very outward and explosive, like the energy is just exploding out.

Kevin Anthony 38:05
But you also have implosive orgasms where it feels like the energy is exploding sort of internally, inward instead of outward. You have rolling orgasms, where you just get these waves of peaks and valleys and peaks and valleys where it just feels like the sensation just keeps rolling throughout your body. You have localized meaning that the orgasm feels like it’s kind of localized in the genital area. But you also have expanded orgasms, where you feel the orgasm through your entire body. And you know, I didn’t make note of it, but Celine and I did do an episode, it would probably be in the early two hundreds somewhere, if I recall, we had a guest on speaking about the expanded orgasm practice. So if you want to know more about expanded orgasms, you can check that out. And then, of course, multiple orgasms. Yes, multiple orgasms are absolutely possible. Anybody can do it, and you don’t have to be some sort of special sex guru. And I think it’s generally understood and accepted that women can have multiple orgasms.

Kevin Anthony 39:27
But not as many people realize that men can also, and even though people tend to generally accept that women can have multiple orgasms, a lot of women will tell you they don’t. And I think one of the reasons why they don’t is because they’ll often sort of get into masturbation habits that are similar to men, which is they just want to get that quick clitoral orgasm going. They fire up the vibrator, get it on there, and get intense stimulation. Have a fast, explosive, clitoral orgasm. Okay, I’m done, and I’m on to the next thing, very similar to the way guys tend to masturbate. I think it’s also potentially complicated by the fact that most men can’t last long enough to give them more than one. So even if they’re lucky enough to get one out of a man, they generally can’t last long enough to get more than one. So I think that’s one of the reasons why people don’t think that multiple orgasms are as possible as they actually are. So those are some of the qualities. Most of those qualities, I would say, really pertain to women and Female Orgasms.

Kevin Anthony 40:45
As a man, I can say that orgasms generally feel explosive, although they can be different levels of explosive. They can be rolling, that can happen, and they can be localized or expanded in multiple but the qualities, I think, are a little bit different for men than they are for women. But let’s talk about the types of male orgasms. We covered a long list of types for women. Are there different types for men? Sort of it’s a little bit different, because when we’re talking about male orgasms, basically we have ejaculatory orgasms and non ejaculatory orgasms, and then, of course, multiples. I talk about this a lot on the show, and yet, still, there are still a lot of people who don’t quite get it. Orgasm and ejaculation in the male are two separate events. They just tend to happen at the same time for most men, but you can learn to separate them out, and that’s a big part of what I teach. So I teach that in my power mastery programs, also in my private coaching programs, they don’t have to occur at the same time. And actually, it is a master skill to learn how to separate your orgasm from your ejaculation, because that is one of the key ways in which you can learn to last as long as you want.

Kevin Anthony 42:15
So you can have a male non ejaculatory orgasm, where you feel the rhythmic contractions of your pelvic floor muscles, you even feel a release or movement of energy without ejaculating. Now I will say they typically aren’t quite as intense, although they can be depending on how much sexual energy you’ve built up beforehand, and how good you are at controlling the ejaculation. So it’s a little bit different from what it is for women. So for men, we basically have ejaculatory, non ejaculatory, and then, of course, multiple now, especially if you have figured out how to separate your orgasm from your ejaculation, and you can have non ejaculatory orgasms, then you can have multiples of them. Oh yes, you can. And it is very fun, trust me. So those are the types of orgasms. And I kind of already talked about the qualities of orgasms for men, they tend to pretty much be explosive, although they can be less explosive or more explosive, depending, especially when you get into the non ejaculatory type of orgasm.

Kevin Anthony 43:27
Sometimes, you know, they can be, you know, very small, a very light feeling of, you know, explosive. And sometimes they can be really intense feelings of explosion. They can definitely be rolling where they kind of just sort of keep getting triggered over and over again in a very, very close together. They can be localized where you can really feel most of that, you know, energy in your genitals, and they can be expanded where you can feel it throughout your whole body. And of course, you can have multiples. Else. So let’s get a little bit even geekier on orgasms, and let’s talk about the four major nerve pathways to orgasm. And basically, there are four different nerves for women and three for men, that have to do with the sensation, the experience, of orgasm. And it’s interesting. It’s interesting to know what they are, and once you kind of understand how this works, it will make more sense of the different kinds of orgasms and why you have certain ones sometimes and not others times.

Kevin Anthony 44:46
And I want to say also, I did an entire episode. And you know, I’m just realizing now I forgot to write it down. I’ve been telling you the episode numbers and titles for all the episodes that I’ve referenced here. And for some reason, I. Forgot to write down. I did a whole episode where I had a fantastic guest on named Leah, who is an absolute expert in, you know, Female Orgasms and the different nerve pathways. And we got super geeky and talked about all of this stuff. Please go check that one out. That one’s fairly recent. It’s only, I don’t know, less than 10 episodes back. It should be really easy to find, and it was a really great episode. It was actually one of the more popular episodes of the Love Lab podcast. So so please go check that one out, where I had Leah Piper on to talk about the nerve pathways. It was fascinating, but just to kind of briefly mention it again here.

Kevin Anthony 45:47
The pudendal nerve is responsible for clitoral orgasms for women and the scrotum and penis for men. The vagus nerve is responsible for vaginal orgasms. The hypogastric nerve transmits from the uterus and cervix in women and from the prostate in men. The pelvic nerve transmits from the vagina and cervix in women and from the rectum in both sexes. So it’s just interesting to understand, like, what nerves are getting triggered that can give you certain types of orgasms, because then you know what parts of the body you want to stimulate, right? And it also makes certain things a little bit clearer, like the pelvic nerve transmits from the vagina and cervix in women and from the rectum in both sexes. So now you understand how stimulating your anus could potentially increase orgasms. Now you know why some men like to use devices like, say, the aneros, or why they might like some anal penetration with a finger and do some prostate massage while the woman is giving them a genital massage, right?

Kevin Anthony 47:07
Because we also know the hypogastric nerve transmits from the uterus and cervix, and also from the prostate. So when you understand that there are separate nerves that are transmitting these pleasurable sensations that can lead to orgasm. It can help you understand, Oh, now I get why I tend to have, you know, a cervical orgasm in this position, or when he does this thing. Or, you know, that might help you understand, if you’re a man, oh, now I understand why I actually enjoy, you know, some anal stimulation, right? There are valid, legitimate scientific reasons for why these things are pleasurable, right? So, some orgasms are transmitted to the brain through completely different nerves. And like I said, if you don’t really want to deep dive into that, go check out that other episode. It was really, actually a fascinating episode.

Kevin Anthony 48:07
So lastly, I just want to talk about some things that can prevent you from having orgasms. Advancing age, obviously, as you get older, if your health isn’t as good, you know, things, things can suffer. Your nerve pathways aren’t firing properly. You know, maybe you’re dealing with, you know, a lack of lubrication that’s making sex less pleasurable. You know, there are lots of things that happen as we age that can potentially make it difficult to orgasm, but a lot of that stuff is preventable if you lead a healthy lifestyle, and some of it is reversible. If you know what to do, you also have beliefs or taboos about sex, that’s a big one. So as we have said many, many times on this show, our brains are our largest sex organ, and that can be good and that can be bad, that can either help us orgasm or that can prevent us from orgasming, depending on what is potentially in the way.

Kevin Anthony 49:16
Expectations, again, that’s another mental thing that can get in the way. You know, having expectations about something, putting too much pressure on yourself to get to your orgasm, or for the orgasm to look a certain way, or pressure from your partner to always have to have an orgasm, those things can definitely get in the way. Hormone imbalances can be an issue as well, especially as we age, lack of emotional connection or comfort with a partner, that’s something else that can potentially get in the way, past bad experiences with sex, poor physical or mental health, including some medical and psychological conditions, and stress. Stress is a big one, and the use of certain medications, drugs, or alcohol.

Kevin Anthony 50:07
So it’s not uncommon to hear people say that they struggle with having an orgasm. And if that’s the case, look at this list and see, you know, am I on particular medications? Even if they’re prescribed medications, maybe the doctor wasn’t totally clear with you that, you know, the inability to orgasm is a known side effect, as it is for numerous medications. Maybe your stress levels are too high. Maybe you’ve got some trauma in the way, or some other psychological things that you could work out with a therapist or a coach. Same thing with bad past experiences that you’ve had that maybe you need to move through and past. So if you are having difficulties orgasming, check out this list. Be honest with yourself. Pursue, you know, things that might be able to help you. Because orgasms are wonderful. They’re amazing. As we talked about earlier, there are lots of health benefits to them. There’s no reason why, if you want to, you can’t be experiencing regular orgasms that really improve the quality of your life.

Kevin Anthony 51:28
So there you go, that is a whole sort of deep dive into orgasms. You know, I didn’t really talk too much about how do you have an orgasm? Like, what types of things give you an orgasm? Because I think that’s kind of well, self-explanatory, right? It’s all this, all the sex skills that we talk about on this show all the time. It’s how to have great penetrative sex, right? And how to last long enough, and the different positions, and how to give great oral sex, and how to use your hands, and you know, how to use your mind before you even get into the bedroom, and that constant state of arousal stuff, like, I talk about that stuff all the time. So I didn’t think that you necessarily needed, like, how do I, but I thought you might find it interesting to know some of the science behind orgasms, some of the benefits, some of the statistics, the different types, the different qualities, and potentially some of the things that might be getting in the way for you. So there you go. I hope that you enjoyed this episode. I hope that you learned something from it, and I hope that you have lots and lots of orgasms. All right, everybody, that’s all the time I have for this episode, and I will see you next week.

Kevin Anthony 52:51
I hope you liked this episode of the Love Lab podcast. If you enjoy this show, subscribe, leave me a review and share it with your friends, and for more free exclusive content. Join me in the passion vault at https://www.kevinanthonycoaching.com/vault/. That’s https://www.kevinanthonycoaching.com/vault/. Thanks for listening, and remember, as Celine used to say, you’re amazing!