Kevin Anthony 0:00
Welcome to the Love Lab podcast, the place to be for honest and real talk about relationships and sex, whether you’re a man or woman, single or a couple, this is the show for you. I am your host, Kevin Anthony, and I am here to help you have the relationship of your dreams and the best sex of your life.

Kevin Anthony 0:27
All right, welcome back to the Love Lab podcast. This is episode 358, and it is titled oral sex stats, who, what, how, and more. So I was going to have a completely different episode for you this week, and I started doing research for that episode, and I came across some stats on oral sex. Somebody did a survey and compiled all of these stats on oral sex, and I just found it really fascinating. I thought, Oh, this could be really interesting to the audience. So then I started looking for other surveys and studies that have been done on oral sex. The data was a little thin. This one was the one I’m going to quote most often in this episode. It was the most recent one that I could find. And I always like to share, you know, recent stats and studies whenever possible. So I’m going to talk mostly about that one. Why I think this is important is because I have learned or noticed that when it comes to sex in general, it doesn’t matter if it’s oral sex or, you know, any other thing that relates to sex, people tend to think that somehow they’re weird. What they like is strange. They tend to have a lot of sorts of taboos around it or shame. Sometimes, because they like a certain thing, or they want a certain thing.

Kevin Anthony 2:00
And I find that it’s really helpful to share information like this, because then people get to go, Oh, I’m not the only one who likes that thing. Or, Wow, I had no idea how common that was, you know. And it helps take the shame, the stigma, out of it. It helps people feel like they’re, you know, more normal, more regular. The things they like and dislike aren’t quite as weird as they believed they were. So it helps normalize healthy sexual activity. And on this show, if you’ve listened to it for any amount of time whatsoever, you know that I am a big fan of normalizing healthy sexual activity. So that is what I’m going to do on today’s show. The original topic I was researching I will do another day, but I just found this to be really interesting, and I wanted to share it with you this week.

Kevin Anthony 2:58
But before we do that, a brief word from my sponsors. Today, I have a brand new sponsor. This is the first time I am publicly talking about this anywhere. And let me just read the ad. Ladies, did you know that the overwhelming majority of men consider receiving oral sex a must in their relationship? Of course you did, because men have been asking you for it your whole life. But do you feel confident in your ability to give great oral sex? If you tend to avoid it because you don’t feel like you’re good at it, or if you feel that you are pretty good at it, but want to get even better, then my new blow job mastery course is for you. I have teamed up with the amazing coach, Ry Duong of Eterna Love, to bring you a practical and easy-to-follow course that is guaranteed to increase your confidence and skill when giving oral sex to your man. In this course, you will get all the secrets to mastering the art of oral sex with step-by-step instructions and multiple live demos go to https://www.sacredfemininearts.com/bjmastery. That’s https://www.sacredfemininearts.com/bjmastery. This is a course that I have created with, as I said, the amazing Rhee Duong, who is teaching the majority of this course. It is based on the work that I have done in previous videos on what men consider a great blow job, along with Ry’s experience as a woman and as a coach, and she really brought it to this course, and I think she does an excellent job of teaching you, really the skills. And it’s not just a, you know, lick here, do this thing with your tongue. Like, yes, there’s some of that, but there’s so much more to giving a great blow job than just those little skills. There’s the energy you bring to it, you know whether or not you’re receiving pleasure as well. There are so many more things, and it is all in there, so please go check that out https://www.sacredfemininearts.com/bjmastery.

Kevin Anthony 5:10
And of course, men, I’m not leaving you out either, because this, this episode on oral sex, is for both men and women. Of course, power and mastery 3.0, you know it. You’ve heard about it many times. It is the popular men’s sexual mastery course, if you’re struggling with erectile dysfunction, premature ejaculation, or simply want to increase your skills in the bedroom, then power and mastery is for you join the exclusive club of men who have taken their sexual performance into their own hands and become sexual masters. Mastering your sexuality is a key component to becoming the man she has always dreamt of and craves. Don’t leave your sexual performance up to chance or the throw of the dice. Becoming a sexual master today by going to powerandmastery.com and joining the exclusive club of men who have taken their destiny into their own hands. That’s powerandmastery.com. And specifically, if you take the sexual Mastery Course, which is sort of my flagship course there, it will teach you how to give great oral sex to a woman. So go check that out, powerandmastery.com.

Kevin Anthony 6:17
Okay, so as I said, I was researching another topic, and I don’t even remember. Oh, I was looking for the stats on it had to do with men separating orgasm from ejaculation. I don’t remember what the search terms I typed in there were, but I came across this article, and it’s from a website called bespokesurgical.com, and they put this article out in 2020 so it’s fairly recent research. Most of the stuff that I could find, you know, the studies on the NIH website and all that, because there are studies on it, but they date back to like a 2014-ish timeframe. So I wanted to get you know, the most recent stuff that I could find, and the way they put this together, I thought was really, really well done.

Kevin Anthony 7:19
So their methodology, they surveyed over 1000 US citizens over the age of 18 on their oral sex opinions, experiences, and preferences, and then they basically compiled all that data and made some really nice charts as well. So what I want to do is go through most of the stats that they present here in this article, because I think you will find them really interesting. So number one, how often do Americans perform and receive oral sex? So they have broken this down, obviously receiving and giving, but also by different demographics. So we have overall heterosexual, gay, lesbian, bisexual men, women, single, and in a relationship.

Kevin Anthony 8:07
So let’s just start with how often do Americans perform oral sex? So this is the average frequency of performing oral sex per month. All right, so overall, Americans perform oral sex 5.32 times per month. That’s pretty good. That’s more than once a week. Yay Americans. I’m proud of you. If we look in the different demographic groups, what I see is that it’s pretty close. It’s relatively even across the different demographics. So heterosexual 5.14 times, just a little bit lower than the overall gay 5.37 times, so just a little higher. Lesbian 4.57, bisexual, 6.77, so bisexual people are actually performing the most oral sex. Men, 4.97 women, 5.98 single, 5.64 and in a relationship, 5.25 so you know, with a few exceptions, they’re all right around the five-ish times per month. So that’s not bad. Personally, for me, my number is a lot higher than that. But I think you know that that’s a pretty good place for the average person to be. Now let’s contrast that with how often people receive, see if there’s a big difference there or not.

Kevin Anthony 9:55
Obviously, you would think, if that many people are giving, then there should be an equal number receiving. That’s not the data; it’s not quite exactly like that. So, overall, 5.2 times per month, the average American receives oral sex. So very close, right? 5.32 giving 5.20 receiving with heterosexual, 5.08 gay, 5.31 lesbian, 8.86 now here’s an interesting thing I find about that when it came to performing oral sex, lesbians were only performing at 4.57 times per month, but somehow they’re receiving it 8.86 times per month. Something doesn’t add up there. Let’s see bisexual, 5.69 men, 5.44 women, 4.85 single, 5.44 and in a relationship, 5.14 so relatively even with an anomaly or two there, but I’d say overall, Americans, that’s pretty decent when you realize that most people you know don’t even have sex once a week. You know, oral sex five times is more than once a week. So that’s pretty decent. It probably also indicates that most people are incorporating oral sex into their lovemaking practice as a form of foreplay, which is also good.

Kevin Anthony 11:38
But I want to reframe this a little bit, and I talk about this a lot on my show. You do have to realize that oral sex doesn’t have to be just when you’re going to make love and just using it as foreplay, to get turned on, to get wet, to get, you know, ready for sex. Oral sex can just be a fun thing that you do anytime. But here’s the thing, and I’m going to direct this to you, the men. Mostly, there’s still a lot of men out there who think that, well, you know, if you go down on me and you get me hard and get me turned on and give me oral sex, then you have to finish me, or it has to lead to sex. And if you want to get more oral sex than just five point whatever times a month, you have to let go of that. Oral Sex doesn’t have to finish you, and it doesn’t have to lead to sex, and that is very important. Now, some guys are like, well, what’s the point? If it’s not leading to, you know, ejaculation or sex, the point is to connect with your partner. The point is to stoke that fire of sexual energy. You hear me talk a lot on this show about the importance of maintaining what I call the constant state of arousal.

Kevin Anthony 13:02
So wouldn’t it be amazing if you know your woman, just every once in a while, would be like, come here, pull your pants down and give you a blow job, and then just, you know, leave you hard in dripping and wanting more, right? Because that’s gonna stoke your fire, and then you’re gonna be like, I want this woman. You’re gonna be chasing her around the house. And when you’re chasing her around the house, she will be loving it, because she wants to be desired. She wants to be chased around the house. She wants to know that you want her. So there’s nothing wrong with that. And of course, it can be a blow job, just for the sake of a blow job, but let’s flip it around. It goes the other way, too. It’s not just about men receiving blow jobs. You can give your woman oral sex anytime, just for fun. I love to do this with my woman. Just randomly, out of the blue, I’ll pick her up, put her down on the couch, pull her pants down, and just give her some oral, and it gets her all fired up and all turned on. Maybe she has an orgasm, maybe she doesn’t, but it stokes her fire too. And let’s just say, even if she doesn’t have an orgasm, she’s like, I’m turned on, right?

Kevin Anthony 14:16
So doing little things like that throughout the day are a great way to get your partner really turned on, to stoke that fire, and to have them want sex more often. So this works both ways. It is a great thing, and it’s, it’s a nice way to connect and give your partner some pleasure. And you know, I talk about this all the time, but like one of the, one of the key skills to being good at oral sex, whether you’re a man or a woman, is you’ve got to like what you do, right? You have to love giving it as well. It has to be fun for you to give it. That will make it much, much easier. All right, so that’s how often Americans are performing and receiving oral. Sex. They included something in here, though, that I was somewhat surprised to see, and that is the next step. It’s not something a lot of people think of when they think of oral sex, although technically it is a form of oral sex, and that is, how often do Americans give and receive anilingus? So let’s see what the stats say on that. We’re going to start with giving first overall.

Kevin Anthony 15:24
So remember, this is times per month, just like the previous stat, overall, 2.14 times. So across the demographics, people are doing that a little over twice per month. I thought that was actually kind of high. However, I’ll tell you an anecdotal story that is interesting to me. I had a listener slash viewer send me an email recently telling me a story about how he was with a woman, and he went to go down on her, and she didn’t want him to because she thought it was gross. She thought that a man giving her oral sex was somehow gross, and she didn’t want him to do that. And then he proceeded to tell me, but I went to give her oral sex right after she spent like 20 minutes giving me analingus.

Kevin Anthony 16:19
And so I just thought it was interesting that in her mind, anilingus wasn’t gross, but cunnilingus was gross for some interesting reason. So I share that to say that anilingus seems to be less of a taboo than I would have thought that it would be for most people. So it seems like something that people are doing far more often than they generally talk about or admit. So let’s look across the demographics. How often are people giving anal Angus, heterosexual 1.91 gay, 2.71 lesbian, 5.86 that really stands out amongst these stats. So apparently this is a big thing for lesbians, bisexual, 3.26 men, 2.33 women, 1.85 single, 2.32 and interrelationship, 2.10, so I thought that was kind of interesting. You know, it’s interesting. I do this work for a living. I talk to people about their sex life a lot. I hear a lot of stuff, but I don’t hear people talking about anilingus all that often. And so I was kind of surprised to see that, on average, people are doing it at least twice a month. So you know, great.

Kevin Anthony 17:45
So then, how often are they receiving it? You would expect somewhat similar numbers overall, two, 2.0 even heterosexual, 1.73 gay, 4.26 lesbian, 3.36, that’s weird. So you have a lot of lesbians giving, but fewer of them receiving. Okay, bisexual, 3.19 men, 1.97 women, 2.06 single, 2.10 and in a relationship, 1.97 so pretty, pretty close related there. So, I don’t know, maybe you don’t find that surprising. Maybe you’re listening to this and being like, yeah, we do that all the time. I thought it was kind of surprising because I would have thought that that would have been so much more taboo for most people. All right, next. What actions do Americans perform while giving oral sex? So, are there certain things that people do at the same time, and what is the frequency? So, according to this, 66% of people will play with their partner’s other body parts. They don’t specify which body parts they could be, anything it could be, you know, playing with a man’s testicles. It could be, you know, also penetrating a woman with a finger. Could be playing with her nipples, inner thighs. But, you know, who knows? It could be a lot of different things.

Kevin Anthony 19:20
11.8% 11.8% will masturbate themselves, and 13.3% will do nothing besides the act itself. So that’s kind of interesting just to see, you know, what other people are doing along with giving oral sex. You know my recommendation with that one is, find out what your partner really likes. For some people, just the act alone is already so stimulating that they really can’t tolerate too much else, or it becomes an overload to their brain and their senses, and they just actually can’t enjoy it. For other people, sometimes, you know, they might have blocks around. Oral sex or orgasm and increased stimulation in other areas can really help them relax into it and feel more so, you know, find out what your partner really likes and then do those things. And you know, keep in mind what they like today, they might want something different the next time. So don’t be afraid to try new things.

Kevin Anthony 20:22
Of course, always have conversations about this. Stuff doesn’t have to be in the moment, right? But, you know, this is a great thing to talk about while you’re just, you know, sitting there after a long day, like, hey, let’s talk about our sex life. You know, I noticed the other day when I was giving you oral sex. You really like this. And is that something you would like me to do more often? Is there something else you would like me to do? You know, that sort of thing. All right. Next, how often do Americans achieve orgasm from oral sex? So this is an interesting one. The majority of respondents replied some of the time. Okay, so most people some of the time. They gave that actually 31.2% 22.4% orgasm, most of the time, and 13.1% orgasm, never, or almost never. You know, I would say the men are probably heavily skewing this. They don’t break it down here, men or women in this particular stat. But you know, it’s pretty common. Most men. You know, if the woman does it long enough, will orgasm from the oral sex, where, for women, it’s significantly harder, generally speaking.

Kevin Anthony 21:45
But I will say this. My personal experience with women is that most women, if you give them enough time, if you give them enough oral sex, they will orgasm. Even women who struggle to have orgasm during penetration, most of them will orgasm from oral sex again if you give them enough time. And one of the biggest things I hear from women when it comes to receiving oral sex is that she just doesn’t have enough time to get there, because most men will just go down, you know, for a minute or two or five and then, okay, let’s move on to penetration. And that’s just not enough time for them. Another thing I often hear from women when it comes to receiving oral sex is that they are often very self-conscious about multiple things, how their genitals look, that’s a big one for women, how they smell, how they taste, and how long they’re taking to get to their orgasm. All of these things are often in a woman’s mind when she’s receiving, and if she’s thinking about all of those things, she can’t fully relax and open to receive the pleasure, and that will absolutely affect her ability to achieve an orgasm from oral sex.

Kevin Anthony 23:06
So, if you are giving oral sex to a woman, tell her how beautiful you think her genitals are. Tell her how much you enjoy them. Tell them how much you love the taste and how much you love the smell. Tell her that there’s no agenda. You’re not worried about it. Your neck and your tongue will be fine, like, just relax. Don’t worry about me. I got this. If I have a problem, I’ll let you know, and I’ll stop right. Reassure her of all of those things, and that will help her relax. Now, when it comes to giving oral sex to a woman, I will hear men say things like, Oh, god, it smells so bad. How do you deal with that? And, you know, oh, and it’s not this, that and the other thing, a healthy vagina does not smell bad. If there is a strong odor or an odor that somebody refer you know, sometimes people refer to as kind of a fishy smell, then that means that the vaginal floor, the microbiome inside the vagina, is out of balance for, you know, could be multiple reasons, but that can be addressed by working to bring that back into balance. It should not smell bad at all.

Kevin Anthony 24:26
So my suggestion is, if that’s your objection, right, figure out what’s going on. You know, help her figure out what’s going on, what’s got her out of balance. And, you know, work with her to help her get in balance, and that should alleviate that problem. Okay, next, how often does oral sex lead to other sex acts? I was just speaking about this earlier, right? Like, does it even have to lead? To other sex acts. So let’s just see what the stats say. First. Says that for the majority of people, oral sex leads to other sex acts most of the time. 36.5% a little over a fourth of the survey pool, replied every time, or nearly every time. For people with partners who ejaculate, they had to ask their own version of the infamous spit or follow. Okay, we’ll get to that in just a moment. Sorry. That’s leading into the next question. I’m jumping ahead.

Kevin Anthony 25:38
So, like it says here, for the majority of people, oral sex leads to other sex acts most of the time, and a little over a fourth of the survey respondents replied every time. You know, again with me, I really wanted to reframe the idea of what oral sex means when it comes to does it have to and I really want you to see it from the point of view of it doesn’t have to, it doesn’t have to. It can, and that’s great if it does, but there shouldn’t be pressure that it has to, because the problem with that is, is, you know, if somebody might, you know, she might be interested in giving you oral sex, but she’s not really interested in having actual penetrative sex. And if she knows that you have this expectation that it has to lead to another sex act, such as penetration, she’s just not going to do it right, even though she may have wanted to. So you miss out on receiving the blow job. She misses out on giving the blow job all because you had this, you know, preconceived notion that it had to go to some sort of other sex act. You know, the same can be true in reverse. A woman may not really be comfortable receiving it if she thinks that. You know, that means you’re going to absolutely want penetration afterwards.

Kevin Anthony 27:01
So that’s why I say it’s it’s so important to reframe that oral sex has to lead to sex because it really doesn’t enjoy it on its own, for the pleasurable sex act that it is okay. Let me just take a short break here, and then come back with this is a really good one, finishing preferences. So it’s basically the preferences of Americans with partners who ejaculate. So, where do people like their partners to ejaculate the most? And we have a bunch of options here, so don’t go away. We’re going to talk about that in just a moment.

Kevin Anthony 27:48
Are you a couple? Are your relationship and sex life where you want them to be? Are there changes you would like to make? But just don’t know how, maybe you think there is nothing that can be done if you are not 100% happy with where your relationship or sex life is then get help today and change your life. Go to https://www.kevinanthonycoaching.com/couples/ and schedule a strategy call with me today so we can map out a strategy to get you where you want to be, so you can have it all your way. Go to https://www.kevinanthonycoaching.com/couples/ and book your strategy call today. As always, links to all of these things are in the description. And you know, I read the couple’s ad here today because, you know, oral sex goes both ways. Men should be giving, women should be giving. Both partners should be receiving and enjoying. And it is definitely one of the things that I can work on with you as a couple when it comes to your relationship and how you can have the relationship of your dreams in the best sex of your life. Trust me, at least I can speak for you, know most men in saying that when we think about the relationship of our dreams, it does include frequent blow jobs from our woman. It just does, you know, yeah, so go check out https://www.kevinanthonycoaching.com/couples/ if you want to have the relationship of your dreams in the best sex of your life.

Kevin Anthony 29:18
All right, let’s dive back into the stats, finishing preferences, okay, so based on a select all that apply survey question, so it wasn’t just pick your favorite, it was select all that apply, then they compiled these numbers. So, first is Americans with partners who ejaculate. Okay, so these are the partners of the people who ejaculate. What is their favorite place? All right, so on, or in my penis, slash vagina. To 36.71% the highest number here. Obviously, you know if it is heterosexual and it is man ejaculating inside a woman. You know, birth control is a factor there, and so that will limit the frequency often for people who don’t want to take that chance. However, I can also tell you, just from my own personal experience and from doing this, you know, work as a professional, that what I hear from women is that that is their preference as well.

Kevin Anthony 30:41
Like I said, you know whether or not they trust the man, whether or not they trust the condom, whatever it is that will influence whether or not they allow their man to do that, but it is their preference. It is their favorite place. Next is in my mouth at 28.27% on my face. 20.24% elsewhere on the body, 17.46 on or in my butt, 14.29 on themselves, 11.81 and on an inanimate object 12.8 I’m surprised an inanimate object is actually higher than on themselves, but there you go. I mean, top two, you know, genitals and mouth. That’s not surprising. I don’t think. I guess, if I’m looking at this, the one that I found to be, maybe the most surprising stat was that on my face came third. I mean, I obviously know people who like that. I’ve had women ask for that before in the past, but you also hear a lot of people saying that’s demeaning, or, you know, that’s their opinion of it.

Kevin Anthony 32:03
So I’m surprised that came in at number three with a fairly high percentage 20.24 it’s not that far behind in the mouth. So that is, I think, interesting, all right. The other half of that is the preferences of Americans who ejaculate. So the people who actually ejaculate, which obviously are men, uh, well, they’re, they’re very obviously talking about male ejaculation here. Women, you can also ejaculate, by the way, but that’s, I’m pretty sure that’s not what they’re talking about here. I think they would have mentioned that, if that were the case, all right, so on or in my partner’s genitals is 30.54% in my partner’s mouth is 49.5% on my partner’s face, 31.15% else. Elsewhere on my partner’s body. 21.43 on or in my partner’s butt. 20.34 on myself, 8.04, and on an inanimate object, 9.62 so what’s interesting is they’re relatively close to their partner’s preferences, but there are some differences here.

Kevin Anthony 33:33
Notice that on or in my partner’s genitals is lower by about 6% I think that is probably due to the fact that a lot of men have a fear of getting their partner pregnant. I personally, my opinion, is from a pleasure perspective, especially if you’ve been making love long enough to get her close enough to an ejaculation, or, I should say, an orgasm, to have that powerful simultaneous orgasm, slash ejaculation, is really the ultimate. That’s my opinion. I know many other people who would agree with that. So if we contrast that with the, you know, the second stat here of people who do ejaculate, which is, you know, 49.5% say in their partner’s mouth. Yes, that is pleasurable and enjoyable, and it’s great. But if I had my choice, I’d take the genitals instead. So I think that there’s a disconnect there only because of the fear, most likely of having a condom break or something go wrong there. That would be my guess on that one. Here’s another. Interesting one that I think it is worth pointing out. People who have partners who ejaculate said on the face was 20.24% but people who ejaculate said in their preference was 31.15% There’s a basically about an 11% difference there, which is a fairly, fairly large percentage.

Kevin Anthony 35:27
So, you know, obviously, a lot more men want to ejaculate on their partners’ faces than partners actually want to be ejaculated on in the face. So it’s interesting. See, it’s important to know these things, right? Because, like, if you have this desire and you’re like, I really want to do this thing, whatever it is, and your partner doesn’t want to do it, and you’re thinking, Oh, it’s just them, or they don’t like it, or they’re weird, or something like that. Like, realize there is a general difference, at least in this particular instance, right? So those are important things to understand. Okay, no, by the way, I started, you know, I said I was jumping the gun because I started to read part of this next one when I did the previous one, which is that they had to ask the infamous spit or swallow question. So, so that is actually the answer to the spit or swallow question, which is, there’s a whole lot more options than just spit or swallow, and yeah, in the mouth, is not even the number one preference for most people.

Kevin Anthony 36:41
Okay. Next one is, how do Americans feel about oral sex? What are their thoughts? As far as you know, and this is, again, another select all that apply, and so it’ll make more sense when they read the options to you and you understand what options they were given, so it’s pleasurable. 80.7% said it’s pleasurable. Okay, that makes sense. 73.5% said it’s fun. It is fun. 55.8% said it makes them feel close, slash intimate with their partner. You’ll see some stats when I read, I think it’s the next one coming up about whether or not people feel oral sex is more or less intimate than actual intercourse. So when you hear that, and then you think back to this question, it makes total sense that 55.8% would feel that it makes them feel closer or more intimate with their partner. 25.3% said it makes them feel self-conscious. 13.5% said it’s uncomfortable. 11.8% said it makes them feel dirty, 6.3% said it’s gross, and 3.5% said it’s shameful.

Kevin Anthony 38:13
If we add all those last ones up, 13.5 plus 11.8 plus 6.3 plus 3.5, that’s just, that’s just too many people. You know? That’s like 20% Oh, no, sorry. It’s like, where we got 13 plus 11. We got 24 plus almost another 10. Wow. That’s like 34% of people are not enjoying oral sex, and I didn’t even add in, it makes them self-conscious. That’s another 25% that is sad. That is sad to me, that so many people have a problem with oral sex, which is an absolutely normal, natural, healthy part of having a healthy sex life with your partner. There’s nothing wrong, nothing gross, nothing shameful about it. All of that stuff comes from programming, whether it’s societal programming, religious programming, but there’s nothing wrong with it at all. You see it in the animal kingdom, too.

Kevin Anthony 39:25
Here’s a story I’ve never told on this show. Years ago, I was at the San Diego Zoo, which is a very well-known, the world-famous San Diego Zoo. This goes back quite ways, by the way, but they had just built this brand new enclosure for the monkeys, and it had this huge glass wall, and they had all these things up close to the glass that the monkeys could hang out on, so they weren’t really far away, like they were super up close and and I remember hanging out watching the monkeys, and this one. Monkey comes up, and he’s hanging on these bamboo that they have there, bamboo poles. And this other monkey comes over and is kind of digging through the monkey’s fur a little bit. And all of a sudden, like I wasn’t totally paying attention at first, and then I looked closer and realized the monkey that was down below was literally giving the other monkey a blow job. And about the same time, I realized that everybody else watching realized that also, and the parents had, like, big smiles on their faces, and they were trying to figure out, like, what to do. Like, like, you know, do we grab the kids and pull them away from this? But then, if we do that, we’re calling attention to it. What do we do? Like, it was, it was an absolutely hysterical moment. But yes, it does happen in the animal kingdom as well.

Kevin Anthony 40:55
There’s nothing wrong with oral sex. And you know, if you realize, like, if 80% of people say it’s pleasurable, right? But then you still got 3.5% saying it’s shameful. You know that some of that 80% believe it’s both pleasurable and shameful, and that’s and that’s sad. You know if it’s if it’s bringing you joy, if it’s something that’s being done consensually between you and your partner, and it’s creating pleasure and connection and closeness, it should never be shameful. So yeah, that’s a little sad for me, but hopefully doing an episode such as this one will begin to shift that, and people can see how normal it is and how good it is and how important it is as part of a healthy overall sexual relationship. Okay, I got one more for you from this survey, and it is the oral sex opinions and preferences of Americans.

Kevin Anthony 41:58
So, just a few things to mention here: 50.4% think oral sex is more intimate than intercourse. And I mentioned that earlier, and I have heard this from quite a few people myself. I have definitely heard people say that they would have intercourse before they would go down on somebody. I think one of the reasons why people say that is because a lot of times people will view it from the point of view of, like, hey, if I have intercourse with somebody, we can slap on a condom. There’s no exchange of fluids, and boom, we can do that. But oral sex, like, how many people use a prophylactic during oral sex? Almost nobody. I mean, I don’t know what the actual stats say on that, but I know very few people do that in the sex positive, you know, poly communities, you’ll see that definitely far more often. But you know, in the more normal dating culture, it’s not something I see very often. So what people do instead, a lot of the time, is they just wait, and they don’t do oral sex until later on, when they feel a little bit more connected and closer to the person. Just because that’s how a lot of people feel doesn’t necessarily mean that’s true, even with a condom on. Condom on. You know, having penetrative sex with somebody, I think, is a deeply intimate act, and there’s a huge energy that’s being shared there between the two of you.

Kevin Anthony 43:34
So don’t discount that just because you can throw a condom on. 52.13% of men think that oral sex is more intimate than intercourse. 54.67% of women think that oral sex is more intimate than intercourse. So, somewhat close percentages, 51.39% say refusal to engage in oral sex is a relationship deal breaker. That is actually the stat I was looking for, or something similar to that when I found this whole article, because I wanted to do a different topic for the show, and I wanted to write that new ad for the women’s blowjob mastery course, and I wanted to throw a stat in there that basically illustrated how important most men think that oral sex is to help motivate women like, Hey, this is something that’s really important to men. And you know, if you love your partner, it’s something that you know you should want to do for them and also be good at. Of course, it goes the other way around as well, by the way, but that’s what got me doing the research for this.

Kevin Anthony 44:54
But remember, this does not say men or women. It just says 51.39% but this is in general. So this is men and women. So men, this is important. I hear a lot of women complain I always go down on him. He never goes down on me. I hear women say that all the time, right? So remember that, in this stat, more than half of women think that it’s a deal breaker if you are not willing to give her oral sex also so very important. Remember I mentioned in the beginning in the sexual mastery course at powerandmastery.com there is a video in there on how to give great oral sex. Okay, 33% have felt at least some societal pressure to engage in oral sex. Not necessarily surprising, 12.1% strongly dislike kissing their partner after oral sex. That’s a fairly low number. That’s a good thing. You know, I have noticed for sure, like, and I can only really speak, it’s a heterosexual male. But like, if a woman, you know, goes down on me and then comes up to kiss me, and I don’t want to do it, it is a massive turn off for her. She’s like, Oh, it’s good enough for me, but not for you.

Kevin Anthony 46:13
And I know, you know, some men have sort of a weird thing around it, about, like, you know, I’m not gay, so I shouldn’t like that, or whatever, it has nothing to do with any of that. Just, you could throw all that right out the window, right? You are with somebody that you love. You are exchanging fluids in lots of different ways, whether you’re kissing the person, giving them oral sex, having sex with them like you’re just, it’s just an exchange of fluids back and forth. You know, don’t, don’t make it more than that. Really don’t have an issue with it. And lastly, 34.92% have used a barrier method of protection, ie, condoms, dental dams during oral sex. Yeah, there you go. Those are the stats on oral sex. I again I like doing these. I do them every once in a while. Usually, people who write articles like this will send them to me because they want me to talk about them. Obviously, this one’s from a few years back. They didn’t send it to me. I just came across it. But like I said at the beginning of the show, I like to do episodes like this because it helps normalize healthy sexual activity and healthy sexual connection.

Kevin Anthony 47:32
So if you were feeling weird about it, or, you know, had some shame around it, or discomfort, or whatever it is, I hope that this helped make that a little bit easier for you. If you, you know, are somewhat worried about your ability to give and or receive, I hope that this also helped. And you know, I’m also providing resources to you to help with that, with the women’s blow job mastery course, and, of course, the men’s sexual mastery course. So you know, I hope that this is something that you can incorporate into your sex life in a very positive way that helps you become closer to your partner, more connected, having a better sex life, a more frequent sex life and all around, just a hit, better relationship and life that is my goal. I hope this maybe helped, at least in some small way. All right, everybody, that’s all I have for this week, and I will see you next week.

Kevin Anthony 48:40
I hope you like this episode of the Love Lab podcast. If you enjoy this show, subscribe, leave me a review, and share it with your friends, and for more free exclusive content, join me in the passion vault at https://www.kevinanthonycoaching.com/vault/. That’s https://www.kevinanthonycoaching.com/vault/. Thanks for listening and remember, as Celine used to say, you’re amazing!