How To Create A Mind Blowing Sex Date

Kevin Anthony 0:05
Welcome to the Love Lab podcast, a safe and fun place to get real and learn about sex. Whether you’re a man or woman, single or couple, this is the show for you. I am your host, Kevin Anthony, and I am here to guide you to go from good to amazing in the bedroom, and your relationships.

All right, welcome back to the Love Lab podcast. This is episode 289. And it’s titled How to Create a Mind-Blowing sex date. You know, I kind of wish I had this idea before Valentine’s Day because this could have been your whole Valentine’s Day. But here’s the thing. Valentine’s Day is supposed to be pretty much every day of your relationship, right? So it’s wonderful that we have a single day dedicated to making sure that we appreciate the person that we’ve chosen to be with and the love that we have created with that person. And at the same time, you’re not supposed to only do it on Valentine’s Day. That’s one of the secrets to having an amazing relationship is to do this stuff all the time.

I have, doing the work that I do, heard a lot, a lot of people telling me what their sex is like. And so they’re describing what it usually is. And a lot of times I’m like, wait, what? I’m not gonna say that to somebody that I’m coaching. But the point is, I’m thinking like, Wow, there’s so much more that you could be doing that could make it so much better. And that’s what we’re going to talk about today. I’m really gonna go through the whole thing, the full cycle from building anticipation to personal prep for men personal prep for women, how do you set the scene for great sex day for play sex itself, after sex, and then something else even after the sex is over. So we’re going to cover all that today, by the time you’re done listening to this episode, you will know everything you need to know to create a sex day that is mind-blowing, that she will love that he will love that you will both want more of so stick around.

But before we do that, a short word from my sponsor, power and mastery. 3.0 is here the men’s sexual Mastery program you have heard about on the show for a long time is now even better. I have personally reviewed every lesson module video audio PDF to see if there’s anything new that needed to be added to the original program that Céline And I created. As a result, I have added 10 New videos, one new audio eight new PDFs, and dozens of links to handpick products to help support your journey to mastery. In addition, there’s also a brand new user interface that makes it easier to navigate the course and find your course materials. So if you are ready to become the sexual Master, you have always wanted to be then go now to powerandmastery.com. You are going to hear things in this episode. And you might think to yourself, but how do I actually do that? Well, if you’re a man, and you’re thinking that power and mastery is one of the ways you can learn how to do some of the things I’m going to talk about. Now, I know at some point, somebody’s going to comment on this episode and say you just did one giant ad for power and mastery. No, I’m going to cover way more than that. But I do want you to know that if you’re listening to these things, this information that I’m giving you, and you’re like, Okay, he says that I should do this and you’re like, I don’t know how to do that. Or maybe I’m not very good at doing that. I don’t want to do that right? Power and mastery is one of the places that you can learn how to do it and do it. Well. Of course, you can always know this will be the second ad later on but you can always contact me for coaching as well.

All right. Let’s dive in. A lot of people think that a sex date starts when you enter the bedroom and that is absolutely not true. Not only does it not start when you enter the bedroom. It didn’t start when the date officially started. What do you mean by that? What I mean is, it starts long before that, especially if you want to have a mind-blowing sex date. One of the biggest problems that I see with couples is they’re busy with lives or they’re, you know, taking care of their careers, they’re doing the things that you need to do just to survive in life, they’re taking care of the kids, whatever it is, they’re busy. And even if they were smart enough to schedule a sex date, which is great, they often do absolutely nothing to prepare for it until it’s like, oh, it’s seven o’clock, everything’s done, we’ve got two hours to ourselves to each other, really, now, let’s get in the mood for the sex date. And that’s really a mistake.

I mean, it’s better than not scheduling it than not having the date at all. But it’s still, it’s really hard to go from that zero, you know, turned on that zero in the space in the mood, to oh, now suddenly, I’m in the mood to have this great, amazing romantic day, and especially if you have limited time you have a babysitter that you’re paying, or whatever it is, you know, you might spend half of your sex date just trying to get in the mood, which means the other half, you know, you might actually, you know, get to a place that was very enjoyable. But I’m talking about a mind-blowing sixth date here. And for that, you’ve got to already be in that mindset and in that space, before you even start. Okay, Kevin, then how do you do that? Well, you want to work on building up the anticipation. So that starts, you know, days before potentially, I mean, you know, if it’s Monday, and you got a sex date scheduled for Wednesday, talk to each other about it, you know, obviously, if you’re married, or if you live together, you know, just say, hey, you know, what, Wednesday is six date night, and talk to each other about it, you know, tease each other a little bit, tell each other the things that you want to do to each other on this sex date. And, you know, if you’re maybe not as comfortable talking openly about, you know, your sexual desires, just simply let your partner know how excited you are about it, how much you’re looking forward to it. You know, how it’s going to be the highlight of your week. And you know, you’re so lucky to get to have that time with your partner. All of those things really help to build up the anticipation.

And that’s really important because honestly, that is a form of foreplay. We’ll talk about foreplay in the bedroom a little bit, you know, further on, but that really is a form of foreplay. How about sending playful text messages to your significant other, maybe when they’re at work or wherever they are? If you don’t live together, you might not see them at all until then. So send them little messages, that it can be totally playful. Now, when doing this, I do want to say also read the room on this one, okay? In other words, I tell the guy like, yeah, be playful like enticer, like, get her turned on for this event. And then he sends her a dick pic. Which, you know, like, congratulations, you did like the number one thing that most women don’t want, even if they are your girlfriend or your partner.

So getting dick pics may be totally fine. If you have that sort of report in your relationship great. If you don’t, or you’re not sure, just steer clear of that. But just little text, you can use emojis, they don’t have to be graphic, you can simply say how much you’re looking forward to it. And you can maybe say, you know, I’m looking forward to slowly undressing you and caressing every inch of your body. Read the room, know what your partner likes and wants know what would be appropriate in that remember, this is supposed to build anticipation and get them more excited, not get them irritated, annoyed, or frustrated. So that’s really the first part of you know, creating an amazing sex date, and that is to build the anticipation. All right. So it’s it’s the day today is Wednesday. Right? So far, we’ve decided that Wednesday is sex day. So today’s Wednesday, it’s sex date day. You’ve got a few things to do before you show up on that day. And we’re going to break that down first by what the men should be doing and then what the woman should be doing.

So alright, the first one for the men is to consider potentially something like flowers. Now, if you have a regularly scheduled sex date every week, as you should honestly, then, you know, you don’t have to buy flowers every single week, although you certainly could, she would absolutely love it and have no complaints about that. But you don’t have to. But it is something you should at least do from time to time. I know very, I don’t actually know any women who don’t like receiving flowers, but I’m sure there are a few out there. Yeah, it’s just it’s a gesture that will really make her happy. And it’s just a great way to start the evening. So that’s something to consider. I mean, you can consider other things too, you know, know what your woman likes and what she wants. There could be lots of other potential ideas, but the idea is to just to have something to show up with that brings a smile to her face that makes her happy.

Alright, next groom, groom, groom. Guys come on groom. I can’t tell you how many times I have heard this from female clients, usually in the context of working with a couple but not always, about how men just don’t really grow. I mean, look, we’ve talked about this. So many times, Céline and I have talked about this a lot. Something talked a lot about, you know, clients, physical clients that would show up and like, she’d be guiding these couples through this exercise or should be working with a man and like, she’d just be like, it was awful. And these are people who showed up knowing that they were going to be naked in some capacity. You got to just, I mean, it’s not that hard, guys, some basic stuff, just, you know, trim the lawn a little bit, you know, it’s not like you got to go crazy. You don’t have to do anything fancy, just neaten it up a little bit. Clean really well, when you’re in the shower, use a lot of good soap, you know, like, just take care of yourself. But grooming goes further than just your genitals. Although, before we move on, I mean, you’ve heard me say this before. And this is really true. If you really want a woman to go down on you and crave your cock, it’s got to be nice. It’s got to smell good. It’s got to look good. It’s got to feel good, right? All of that stuff. Otherwise, she’s not going to want to do it.

Okay, so moving on from that type of grooming, there is other grooming to you, in general, not just your genitals should be clean. You should smell it. If you have a beard as I do nowadays, which I never thought I would have. trim that up, and make it look neat. You want your body to be so appealing that she cannot keep her hands, her mouth, or her pussy off of it. Right. So that’s, that’s gonna take a little prep that’s going to take a little work, but it is well worth it. Trust me. Okay, next one, dress nicely. Put on something nice. You know, this is this is mind-blowing sex date night. Don’t show up in I don’t know your favorite sports jersey and sweatpants. Like, just don’t do it. Dress nicely, it doesn’t matter if those clothes are going to be on for five hours or five minutes. show up dressed nicely, it will absolutely turn her on she will look at you and go ah, yeah. Right. And that’s what you want. You want her to look at you that way.

Next is and this is kind of similar to the you know, dress nicely thing but it’s like showing up like a rock star or an actor on the red carpet. There is nobody more important in your life, than your significant other your partner the person you have chosen to be with. And if they aren’t that important to you then you might you might want to rethink whether or not this is the relationship for you but they should be that important to you. And so yeah, I mean there’s no better person to show up that way for I talked about this in I think a video I did and also another podcast that I was on. Celine somewhere found this little meme and the meme had two sides to it two panes and on the one pane it was A woman and she was all dressed up super cute little dress on heels, and her hair and makeup done. And it said this is how I dress for complete strangers, meaning this is how she dresses when she wants to go out. And she’s just going to meet random people that she doesn’t even know. The other pain had her like her hair was a mess, obviously no makeup like, you know, in her baggy sweats. And it says This is how I dress for the person I love. It was something she used to love to show that to her clients, because so many of them, many of them being women. It’s like a light bulb went off.

When they saw that they’re like, oh, too many people get complacent they get in a relationship. And they think, Well, I’m you know, I’m already married, or I’m already in a relationship, like, I don’t have to try anymore, right? I don’t have to dress nicely, I don’t have to work out, I don’t have to watch what I eat. Wrong, wrong. Wrong. It’s all absolutely wrong. You do, in fact, more so than ever, because this is the person that means the most to you, this is the person that you want to have a long, happy, fun, sexy relationship with. So, you know, you want to nurture that it’s, it’s super important. You know, also, you know, when it comes to showing up like a rock star, you know, it’s, it’s a mental mindset that you’re showing up and you’re going to make this the most amazing sex date you’ve ever had. And the next sex day, you’re going to make that the most amazing sex date you’ve ever had, and the next sex day, you’re going to make that the most amazing sex that you’ve ever had. Now, you may be thinking, how can every sex date be the most amazing?

Like, don’t we get to a point where it doesn’t get any better than that? Maybe, maybe not. But the point is, it’s the mindset, it’s the mindset that you’re going into it with the intention of making it the most amazing sex date ever. All right, we’re still on the men’s prep. Next on the list is to do your pelvic floor muscle exercises and or your mindful masturbation exercise. So you want to show up as that rock star, you want to show up as the best that you can be, you want to rock her world and make her beg for more? Okay, well, to do that, you’re going to have to have control over your ejaculation. Those are two exercises that I teach, we teach them in power and mastery, and I also teach them in my Men’s coaching program. So if you don’t know what those are, or how to do them correctly, and I say correctly, because there’s a lot of information out there about pelvic floor exercises, or sometimes they’ll call them male key goals. And a lot of people are not really teaching them properly. And if done incorrectly, and overdone, you can actually create more problems than you solve with them. So if you don’t know how to do them, go check out the Sexual Mastery program.

And, or my coaching or find another coach who doesn’t add on whatever, just get the skills that you need to make this a mind-blowing sex night. And when we talk about getting into the actual sex itself, you will understand why this is so important. But in the days leading up to the sex date, make sure that you are training, right, you train for anything else. And you would study if you were taking a big test, you train if you’re running a marathon, or competing in some sort of sporting event, this is worth training for also. All right. Next, meditate on what you want to create, and how you want the evening to go. I mean, I think this is always a great idea. Like don’t just leave it up to the last minute, you just show up and you’re like, Alright, what do we do now? You know, like, give it some thought and have a, an idea, a general plan. So that when you’re there, you can say hey, I have an idea. How about we do this? Or how about we start with that or, you know, whatever? So that’s part of it, right? Just not sort of winging it. But giving it some thought, being mindful about the evening and how it might flow. And of course, you know, as a man, always be ready to shift and change course based on you know, what the feminine wants in that moment. But it’s nice to have some sort of a basic plan.

But there’s another piece to this too. And this is another thing that I teach more in my coaching program. And then in the power and mastery. And that is this sort of visualization of the performance that you desire. So some of you know, I mentioned it every once in a while on the show when it’s applicable. But, you know, I studied NLP, which is Neuro Linguistic Programming. It’s one of the things that I’ve studied that I use in the coaching work that I do. And in your linguistic programming, there are many different exercises, but they’re really designed to sort of retrain the mind. And when I’m helping men last longer, a lot of the times, you know, they can do it fine when they’re doing their practices. But then they get in the real situation, and they’re like, ah, you know, and it kind of falls apart. So one of the ways that you can help that so that you don’t fall apart is visualization. Now, they did tons of science and research on this, they were using this in the Olympic program, they’ve been using it in professional sports for years, this idea of visualizing your performance. So, you know, if you’re a sports player, you’re visualizing, you know, your movement, how you, you know, throw the ball, catch the ball, whatever it is, hit the ball, and, you know, visualizing exactly how you want to perform. And they did find that performance increased significantly in the groups who were doing the visualization practices.

And so I take that and bring it into the world of sexual performance. And I have men visualize how they want the performance to go on the sex date. But you do it beforehand, and run over in your mind over and over again, you can do it for a few minutes at a time, you know, a few times a day in the days leading up to the second date, really run that routine, in your mind over and over. But it has to be the way you want it to go. Do not allow your mind to start going well, what if this and that? No, you are you are running, you’re creating grooves in your mind of this is how it’s going to work. And that will increase the chances that it actually will work. So again, if you’re not super sure exactly how to do that process, because there are actually some formal steps on how you do it. To do it. Well, that is something that I often teach in my Men’s coaching program.

So there you go, those are some things that men can do to prep for a mind-blowing sex day. I’m telling you, if you do these things, you will get far better results than if you just wing it and show up, trust me, and I get it. You know, maybe this is a lot to do all the time for you to do the best you can make sure that you’re at least doing it from time to time. Like I said, you should have a weekly date night. You should be having sex regularly. I’m not expecting you to make every sexual encounter some big grand, you know, process. But see how many of them you can do on a regular basis. And then make sure you do the full thing, at least every once in a while.

All right. We’re going to talk about what women can do to prep next, then we’re gonna take a little break and we’re gonna get into setting the scene for play sex and after sex. All right. So what can women do to prep for a mind-blowing sex date? Well, I put groom on here also, you know, basically just trimmed downstairs a little bit, but honestly, I really don’t need to talk about this much. Women are fantastic at this. Women are great at taking care of their bodies and grooming and smelling good and looking good. All of that. So you don’t really need to hear it from me. I mean, obviously, there are always exceptions to that. But in general, I don’t think we really need to talk much about that for women. However, I do know that you know, men do appreciate a nicely groomed genital area. So you know, that’s something if you haven’t been doing you should do but most of you probably already are.

So then what else can you do? Well put on some sexy underwear or lingerie. It’s a simple, easy thing to do. And it is a huge turn-on for us men. You know if we’re undressing you and you’ve got something sexy like, personally for me, I love I love lace Something about you know, just very delicate lace. It’s just a huge turn-on. I love seeing a beautiful woman wearing beautiful sexy lacy stuff. I know ladies, it’s not always the most comfortable. It’s generally not organic, or, you know, natural fibers, I get it. But for sex date night, it’s okay. Put on something a little sexy. And watch us drule. Because it really does work like that. Also put on a nice dress or any outfit that makes you feel sexy, just like we told the guys dressed nice. Put on something really nice, too. It’s just like that that meme I talked about earlier. You know, dress, nice, build anticipation. You know, especially if we don’t live together and we’re meeting up for this day. And you show up in a sexy dress, I mean, instantly we’re turned on without a doubt. So take the time Yeah, put on a nice dress or whatever outfit makes you feel sexy in your body.

Along with that, do your hair and makeup, you don’t have to do anything crazy, you don’t have to do a big fancy hairdo, and you don’t have to spend two hours doing your makeup unless you want to. But the idea is to just look your best. However, that is. I’m personally not a big fan of a lot of makeup, I generally prefer my women’s natural beauty. But I don’t mind if she does a little something, if that’s what makes her feel beautiful, feel sexy. But the idea really is not so much you know how much because you know, some guys may love a lot of makeup on a woman some may not. That’s a personal preference. But the point is that you took the time to do something that that’s kind of the part that is most important to us. Like, oh, she took the time to really make herself look beautiful and show up beautiful for me.

All right, and next one meditate and think about what you want to create on the second day. So I said something similar for the men, but I’m gonna give it a little twist here for the women. Generally, women do not have to worry about sexual performance. Usually, the worry when it comes to sexual performance for women, is can I get wet enough to have sex? And will I reach an orgasm, okay, so if you have trouble with those things absolutely focus on them, meditate on them beforehand, mentally prepare yourself, and get in the right mindset to be juicy and lubricate in and to be able to reach an orgasm. But what I was really thinking about when I wrote this one for the women, was a lot of women have difficulty knowing or asking for what they want in the bedroom. And so I thought beforehand in preparation, it would be great if you thought about it a little bit, and really figured out what it is that you wanted. So that you could clearly communicate it to us in the moment.

And if you’re if you’ve had a lot of you know, sex dates or relationships where you felt that you weren’t satisfied, it didn’t turn out the way that you wanted it to. Part of that might be because you’re not making it clear what you need and what you want, you’re not voicing it. And maybe you know, you’re not I don’t want to say inspiring. You’re not holding your man accountable, right? Because you don’t even know what to ask him for. So think about it a little bit and figure out what it is you really want out of this. And I think you know a great way for women and this works for men too. But a great way for women to approach that is to think about how do you want to feel during and after this. Right? Do you want to feel deeply connected? Do you want to feel loved? Do you want to feel satiated or satisfied? Do you want to feel you know dizzy because you just got your brains fogged out think about what is it that you want out of this. I think that’s a really important part of prepping. If you don’t even know what you want out of it, then you’re probably not going to be able to ask for it, and the chances of you getting it or not that good. Okay, so there you go. That’s a lot of prep. I know half of the show. I mean you haven’t even gotten into the bedroom yet, but trust me, trust me Trust me, this stuff is important. And it makes when you get into the bedroom, so, so much better.

Okay, quick break, and then we’re going to jump into the you’re actually going to step into the room. Hey, guys, you know what makes a man great, you know the kind of masculine men that women are irresistibly attracted to? And what is it money job title, his physical body being great in bed, a big penis, great pickup lines, or something else? But what if you don’t have those are only some of them. What if you’ve had a string of failed relationships are embarrassed by your bedroom skills, doubt whether you can rise to the occasion, worry about lasting long enough, or are always stuck in the friend zone, I can help you if you are ready to make big changes and finally become the man that you have always wanted to be, then this is the program for you. To find out more, please go to Kevinandceline.com/go/warrior. And that link is in the description. So much of what I’m covering today are things that I work with men on, I teach you how to be this man how to be the man that shows up in a way that she wants, how to be the man that performs like a rockstar in the bedroom, how to be the man that continues to keep the attraction and the desire alive in his woman, so and so much more. That is all in that men’s coaching program at Kevinandceline.com/go/warrior. I give you the warrior mindset. And I teach you how to be the ultimate lover in the bedroom.

Alrighty, so now it is finally sex date night, you have gotten together, maybe you’ve done dinner beforehand, whatever, it’s time now to make your way to the bedroom. I’m going to give you some things to make sure that you’re setting the scene correctly. Number one, remove all distractions. And lots of things are distractions, your kids are a distraction. So make sure they’re taken care of. If they’re young enough, where they need babysitters great, they’re with the babysitter, or they’re with grandma, or you know, they’re at their friend’s house doing a sleepover, whatever it is, make sure they’re you know, taken care of, but not going to be a distraction. Work, make sure any work stuff that you know needs to happen is already done. You’d be surprised how many times people are like, Hey, I was really trying to get in the mood.

But all I could think about was this project that didn’t finish or the laundry that needs to get done or you know the dishes or whatever it is. So do as much of that stuff ahead of time. So it’s out of the way. I would also suggest removing distractions from your bedroom like TVs honestly, you should never have a television in your bedroom. If you want to destroy your chances of having sex on a regular basis, put a TV in your bedroom. If you want to have a lot more sex in your bedroom, get rid of your TV. Personally, I suggest you get rid of your TV anyway because it’s nothing but a propaganda machine. I have to hit a truth bomb on that one. But even if you want to keep your television, just don’t have it in the bedroom. Alright, so that was removing all distractions. You want to make sure the space is clean and tidy. I’m telling you guys, you may not believe this. But if the space is not clean, in her mind, she’s thinking about cleaning it most likely. Or she’s annoyed that you didn’t clean it because it’s your mess lying around like either of those things are going to take her out of the present moment. So you want to make sure that the space is clean and tidy. Doesn’t have to be spectacular. But just it’s again, it’s removing distractions, it’s removing things that get your mind out of the moment that you’re trying to create.

Consider the lighting so what would be good lighting maybe low maybe lights and candles right? What does your woman like that she liked the lights on full so she can see every bit of you or does she like them a little bit lower? What do you like, right? Yeah, so consider the lighting. Maybe consider some music but be careful with the music choices here. Choose music that is appropriate for the moment. You know, like if you’re into hardcore gangster rap Great, that’s you know, I’m not gonna judge that whatever. But maybe now is not the time for hardcore gangster rap about bitches and hoes. Right? So no, maybe something that creates a mood some soft music Yeah, but consider that it does help create a nice atmosphere. You want to make sure that it’s warm in there. If you want people to get naked, if you want your partner to get naked, especially if you want a woman to get naked, it’s got to be warm, it’s just got to be warm. And if it’s wintertime, crank it up, you know, I get it, you don’t want to have monstrous heating bills. But for sex date night, you can do it for a couple of hours, get that room nice and warm around the fireplace, you know, run the heater, the wood burning stove, whatever it is you got, make it warm in that room.

Make sure it smells good in the room to the mean, hears. If your bedroom doesn’t smell good, you’ve got other problems, but yeah, I mean, making it smell good is something that really helps create the atmosphere, the environment that’s conducive for lovemaking. So my suggestion on that one is to just get a diffuser in your bedroom, if you don’t have one already, put some really nice smelling essential oils in there and kick it on, you know, half an hour or hour before you you go up there. And then lastly, make sure the place where you’re going to make love is comfortable. Definitely got to be comfortable. I mean, first of all, as a guy, right, especially if you’re struggling with performance stuff, the last thing you want to be dealing with is your knees hurt, right, you’re getting rug burn or the surface is too hard or your back hurts, or whatever it is, that’s going to completely distract you and make it even more difficult to really master your ejaculation in your erection. But also for a woman if you want her to really be able to soften, to really be able to relax, to really be able to open up and receive all of you. She’s got to be comfortable.

She’s got to be a lot of other things as well. But they’re not necessarily the focus of this show. She’s got to feel safety, she’s got to feel trust, she’s got to feel love. She’s got to feel connected. There’s lots of stuff. They’re not necessarily the focus of this episode. But no, you gotta at least make the space comfortable. I suggest personally making sure that it is not only that comfortable, but that you’ve got enough space to move around to flip over to rollover to, you know, be in different positions without worrying about falling off hitting a table or something like that. All right, so it’s sex date night, you have set the scene, and you have created a beautiful space that is conducive to all-night lovemaking and multi-orgasmic bliss. Where do you start?

Well, it’s great to start with foreplay. And that’s the next thing that we’re going to talk about here. Start with some sort of foreplay. Now, obviously, you know, there’s the age-old joke about men don’t do foreplay, blah, blah, blah. Remember, if you’ve been doing everything up to this point, you’ve already been doing a form of foreplay. However, now when we’re talking about foreplay, we’re talking about more sexual foreplay. So the first thing I want to say about that is you have all night. Slow down, and enjoy it, right? You don’t need to rush through anything. That includes the sex too, but definitely the foreplay. Take time this foreplay is going to stoke the fire. It’s going to create lubrication, it’s going to create hard-lasting erections. Right? So take your time with the foreplay. Touch and kiss each other before you even get undressed. Right, hold each other caress each other, kiss each other slowly get undressed now, I mean, if you’re super hot for each other already, and you just want to rip each other’s clothes off that’s fine. Nothing wrong with that.

And if you’re not there, then slowly get on just take off one piece of clothing at a time I would suggest that you don’t go straight for the genitals you’ve heard me talk about that on the show many many times. Don’t just go straight there and go for it. You know least not with a woman especially if she’s not already really really warmed up for you start with other areas, you know the back of her neck you know we have I think it’s at power mastery.com Actually, there’s a free gift there if you sign up. And it’s I think that it’s in one of the power mastery programs. But it’s it’s a bunch of erogenous zones to touch on her before you get there general so good stuff to know.

Maybe consider trading some massage with oil which is a great foreplay technique. Do you get your hands all over each other, most likely no body parts are off limits. It’s a great way to help women relax and start to open up. So that’s a great foreplay exercise. I would say consider starting with some oral sex is another great foreplay way to start, especially a great way to stoke your woman’s fire. I will give you a little word of caution on this one, though, sometimes when it’s when it’s a woman giving oral sex to a man and it’s in the foreplay, you know, arena. You know, if she goes too fast, too hard too long, she can get him way too high on the arousal scale. And then when it’s time for penetration like you know, he’s already at like an eight. And then you know, the penetration just pushes him over his edge and he goes into ejaculation. And then she’s not satisfied. And she’s like, this sucks because you ejaculate it way too early. Just be careful with the hardcore oral sex beforehand. Now, if you’re a master of your ejaculation, and you can handle it, great, it’s super fun. But if you’re not just, you know, be careful with that one, it’s fine to do a little bit, you know, especially if you need a little help achieving interaction. It’s a great way to do that. But, but don’t go overboard with it. Save your energy, because you’re most likely going to need it.

And then lastly, in the foreplay space, you know, get creative, you know, tease each other, maybe use some toys, you can bring some food in, but just have fun with it. Just have absolute fun with it. experiment, play, and be creative. All right. So that’s for play. Now we get into the actual sex. We are finally there. All right. So the first thing I want to say when you get to the second part of your mind-blowing sex date is to start slowly. There’s plenty of time. Remember, it’s about the journey. Too many men if you’ve even if they’ve done everything I’ve talked about by the time they get to penetration like I’m finally here, and they just want to go for it. And then boom, they ejaculate, and it’s over. Big disappointment for pretty much everybody. So start slowly, there’s plenty of time. It is a journey. When penetration occurs, look into each other’s eyes, and pause. Too many men as soon as they penetrate, just want to start jackhammering immediately.

That is usually what you see in porn movies. But remember, porn sex isn’t real sex. It’s just not. It’s not real in a sense. And that’s not the way you have great sex. So penetrate slowly, which is always a good idea. look each other in the eyes. This is an incredibly vulnerable moment for a woman. And then just pause, feel each other feel the sensations, you should if you’re not already be able to get to a point in the future, where simply having your genitals touching each other tells you so much about what’s going on with your partner. I know that when I penetrate a woman, a woman who’s really dialed into herself and her own body and her sexuality, I can feel so much. I’ve even been able to tell her things that she wasn’t even consciously aware were happening within her body by saying, I can feel that you’re doing this and she’s like, Oh, I didn’t even realize I was doing that. But yeah, you’re right I am. So there’s so much beauty in that penetrate and pause moment, especially in the beginning. And you know, this is also a technique for guys who are having difficulty controlling their ejaculation. If you penetrate immediately and just start going sometimes that initial sensation of the penetration and the excitement of doing so can push you right over your edge. But if you penetrate slowly to minimize that initial, you know, sort of shocking sensation, and then just pause until you can really feel each other it’s like you feel the energy between the two of you sort of balance out rather than just getting a big blast of her sexual energy. It’s a great technique.

While you’re making love ride the waves this is the most amazing and beautiful thing and I have such a hard time getting men to understand how awesome it is to ride the waves. Women are by nature multiorgasmic creatures. They can build up, have an orgasm, come back down again build up have another orgasm, maybe it’s bigger or maybe it’s a different kind. She can have you know clitoral orgasms, G Spot orgasms, cervical orgasms, explosive ones, implosive ones, you know, and they can be any combination in any order and it’s beautiful. And for me as a man, the most amazing thing about really mind-blowing sex is feeling all of that feeling all of that, you know, up and down. implosive explosive, gushing, whatever stuff that’s happening as she’s going through those waves. For me, that is the real joy and it’s amazingly powerful. It is amazingly powerful. Yeah, your orgasm, and your ejaculation as a man will feel powerful, but it’s short-lived. And it’s, in some ways, almost anticlimactic. Whereas this isn’t this can just keep building and keep going. And I, I will often tell people, it’s almost like, it’s like you stuck your penis in the electrical socket. Don’t do that, by the way. But, it’s kind of like that, with how much energy is coming through her into you. It’s amazing. It’s absolutely, friggin amazing.

And enjoy it ride the waves ride the waves become a surfer of her sexual energetic waves, you will thank me later. But as part of that, don’t go for the quick ejaculation or the quick clitoral orgasm. Too many men are only focused on the destination, which is there a jack Ulation rather than really wanting to enjoy the journey itself, which is riding the waves. So don’t do that. Trust me ride the waves. You’ll thank me later. Because at some point, if you do choose to ejaculate, it’s going to be bigger and more powerful. But ladies, ladies, ladies, you often will do the same thing. And I get it, I get it, I understand why many of you have mostly had the concepts that were over really fast. And you know that if you start getting close to an orgasm, you better take it because if you don’t, he’s going to come and you’re not going to have an orgasm. I understand where this comes from I do. But if your man is at least relatively trained, and there are things by the way that you can do to help him last longer, which I’ve talked about on the show before. But if you can forego that initial fast clitoral orgasm, the one that someone used to call the genital sneeze, and then build up that energy and have all those waves that just talked about, then when you do have your actual clitoral orgasm or your G spot or maybe your cervical whatever, it’s going to be even better. It’s going to be even better. Trust me on that.

So don’t don’t just go for the quick clitoral just because you want to get something out of it. Do your best to go on the journey. Help your man stay on the journey. And then have the best fucking orgasms you’ve ever had in your life. Yeah, so you know, along with all of that, and just enjoy this journey. It is a journey, build the energy as you go. And you know, if you’re successful in doing that, and if he is successful in controlling his ejaculation, you both have the potential for multiple orgasms. Yes, men, multiple orgasms are indeed possible, if you have learned to separate your orgasm and your ejaculation. So if you haven’t learned how to do that, take power and mastery, hire me as a coach, whatever. But if you want to have this kind of sex, if you want to have these mind-blowing sex dates on a regular basis, you need to figure out how to do that. And then lastly, you know, man ejaculates at the end only if you choose. So you’ve had this, you’ve rode the waves, and you’re both in this state of ecstasy and bliss, right? And then maybe you’re like, I really want to Jackie like, that’s how I would like to end this.

And as long as she’s okay with that great. Or you might find that she’s like, I really want you to she might request that you Jackie late, maybe inside of her if it’s the right time a month or you’ve got good, you know, birth control, or all over her or maybe in her mouth. You know, some women really love that. And you know, they’re not necessarily always going to be in the mood for it. But sometimes they really are. And the beautiful thing is, is if you’ve gone on this journey, and you haven’t ejaculated yet, she might get to that point where she’s like, I want it now. That’s a beautiful thing. So that is a way to really make the sex. absolutely mind-blowing. But it doesn’t end there. There is, of course, after sex as well. So after sex, first thing, do not roll over and go to sleep. Just don’t do it. I don’t care if you’re tired.

By the way, if you’ve gone on that journey, and you’ve built the sexual energy, and you’ve written those waves over and over and over again, even if you do ejaculate, even if you do have multiple orgasms, you’re not going to be tired, you’re going to be laying there like buzzing, like we’re like, oh, my god, I can’t believe what I just experienced. So you’re probably not going to be too tired and want to fall asleep. Unless it’s like three in the morning or something, I don’t know. All I have to say, you know, I don’t stay up that late, really at all anymore. But on the occasion where you know, a sex date happens, and it is late, maybe you came home from a show or something and it was late, and then it turned into a sex day, I’m still buzzed and lay in there, no matter how late it is. But don’t roll over and go to sleep, now is a good time to hold each other spooning is great, post sex spooning is amazing.

Look into each other’s eyes. Right? If it feels right in the moment, you can talk a little bit about what you love, or how you’re feeling. Especially if you’re a woman, you know, if she just had one of the most amazing, you know, sex dates of her life, you know, it’s really great for her to say, you know, one, how much you loved her to put how she feels, how deeply connected, she feels, how good she feels after the orgasmic bliss. You know, you don’t necessarily want to get too heady here and get too deep into talking, although you could, it really depends on you and your partner and the dynamic you have. You know, the reason we call this the Love Lab is because, you know, I commented one day to Céline that our bedroom was our laboratory, because you know, we would have this kind of amazing sex, and then we would lay there and talk about, and that thing that you did hear Wow, how you did that? And like, tell me how exactly do you do that, you know, she used to ask me that a lot she to do hang there like your eyes would just be so big. And she’d just be like, You need to tell me exactly how you did that. Because I want to teach that to every other man.

So you know, but I understand not everybody really wants to be that heavy when you’re in that post-orgasmic bliss, but it’s fine to talk a little bit about it. You may even want to continue with a little bit more light massage and touch. Obviously cuddling as, as I mentioned already. So those are all things that you can do after the sex and I would suggest that you only go to sleep when you both feel really complete. You’ve been on the journey, you’ve had amazing sex. Maybe you’ve shared a little bit about it with each other. You’ve done all the aftercare, the cuddling, massage, the touch, the kissing, whatever. And now you both feel like you’re complete and you want to sleep. That’s when you should go to sleep. So there you go. That’s the sex that’s the foreplay the sex the after sex. But wait. But wait, there’s more. It doesn’t end there. Haha, fooled you. You thought we were done but didn’t yet know it doesn’t end there.

The next day, foreplay starts all over again. So remember when we were talking about building that anticipation? Well, now you can start that. And you can talk about how yesterday was, you know, talk to each other about how lovemaking last night was amazing. And that thing you did. And we I felt so deeply connected to you and like, wow, that was really amazing. This is a great time to talk about that. Right? And that Stokes the fire and creates anticipation for the next time that you meet for the same thing. Share what you loved about it. This is now this is a time when you can get really heady right? Because this is a post, you know, sex moment. Now it’s the next day. It’s like this is a great time to talk about, here’s what I loved about it, and get a little bit more heady and get a little bit more technical, right if you want to. It’s also a time where if there were any low lights, you could share the low lights, and do so in a very respectful, loving way. Usually approaching it from the you know, although there was this one moment, and this is kind of, you know how it felt for me and I wonder if next time maybe we could do it a little differently or not do that particular thing or whatever. But that’s a good time to sort of clear anything that might have not gone perfectly the night before.

Obviously, if there’s a big thing that needs to be cleared, it’d be great if you could clear it then that night, but we’re assuming that this is generally a great sex date night, and you can have an amazing sex date night and still be like, ah, there was one thing like when you were doing this certain thing, it was a little uncomfortable for me, and just I’ll thank you for letting me know, right. And then lastly, lastly, this really is the start of the next cycle. So you’re starting the cycle over again, and you’re getting ready for the next six days. And if you keep this going perpetually, you will have most likely an amazing relationship and a great sex life. And isn’t that really what we all want? We all want to have an amazing relationship and a great sex life. I saw an article recently this weekend, actually. Apparently, they did. It was the Institute for Family Studies. I think that’s what they’re called, did a 15-year-long study.

And they found that in general, and the numbers were pretty staggeringly high, that married couples, people who are married and in a couple, report a significantly higher level of happiness in life in general than single people. One of the ways that that’s true, is by doing this kind of stuff. I mean, just being married. So there are lots of reasons for it. And you can go look up the study for yourself that gives you a lot of data on it. Obviously, humans were not meant to be alone. And so when we’re together with somebody throughout life, we tend to be happier. But not everybody that’s married is happy. Because sometimes marriages go off the rails. One of the ways that you can keep your marriage really happy and loving and exciting and fun, is everything that I just talked about today. From the day you meet until the day you die, don’t stop, there’s no reason to stop. This is one of the ways that you nurture a long-term successful, happy, and sexually fulfilling relationship. All right, everybody. I hope that was helpful. That’s all I have for you for this show. And I will see you next week.

I hope you like this episode of the Love Lab podcast. If you enjoy this show, subscribe. Leave us a review and share it with your friends. And for more free exclusive content. Join me in the passion bowl at KevinandCéline.com/vault. That’s KevinandCéline.com/vault. Thanks for listening. And remember, as Céline used to say you’re amazing!