Everything You Ever Wanted To Know About Sex Positions

Kevin Anthony 0:11
Welcome to the Love Lab podcast a safe place to get real about sex. Whether you’re a man or woman single or a couple, this is the show for you.

Céline Remy 0:20
We are your hosts, Kevin Anthony and Céline Remy and we are here to guide you to go from good to amazing in the bedroom and beyond.

Kevin Anthony 0:28
All right, welcome back to the Love Lab podcast. This is episode 233. And it is titled, everything you ever wanted to know about sex positions, as are so many of the podcasts and YouTube videos that we have done over the years this was inspired by somebody who had reached out to me in regards to our power and mastery and wanting to know if there was more stuff on sexual positions. And that started a whole conversation about well, how important are sex positions really? And is that what he really was seeking to know or not.

And so I thought, I don’t think we’ve ever done an entire show on sex positions. We have done separate videos on You know, best sex positions for cervical orgasms, best sex positions to last longer best sex positions for her pleasure. We are going to cover all of that and more today. So we’re gonna talk about the standard positions, what I call the extended standard positions, Kama Sutra positions, reasons why you would want to try new positions, six positions to maximize her pleasure positions, best position for cervical orgasms, sex positions for him to last longer, what to do if your partner doesn’t want to try new positions?

And of course, some final considerations when it comes to trying different sex positions. So there is a lot to cover in this episode. But before we dive right into that, how about a word from our sponsor? Do you want to join the secret club of men who are great in bed, then check out power and mastery it is the most complete sexual mastery training for men. Whether you want to have harder erections last longer or increase your sexual skills. There is something for you at powerandmastery.com.

As you know, this is our online men’s sexual mastery training. It does have a module in there about sex positions, actually, I think there are two. We’re going to cover some of that in today’s show. But there is so so much more in there. And, you know, I sort of mentioned in the beginning that this came from somebody who contacted me about power and mastery. And really, he was saying, Well, I thought there’s gonna be a whole lot more stuff about sex positions. And what I had to tell him was, it’s not really about the positions. And you’ll understand more as we go through this episode, but it’s not so much about the position, there are other skills that you can use. So, powerandmastery.com, powerandmastery.com, we will teach you all of those other skills.

Okay, so you know, a lot of people think that if they knew more sex positions, or if they learn some esoteric Kama Sutra practices, that would make them a great lover. And this was kind of the essence of the conversation I was having with this particular person. And I said, you know, it’s not really about knowing a bunch of positions, positions don’t make you good in bed. Just because you went in and we’re able to do a certain position doesn’t mean the sex is actually going to be good. It’s really about how knowing how to use those different positions to accentuate and support great lovemaking. So the analogy I like to use is to think of them as tools. So tools in an unskilled hand can do a lot of damage.

But tools in a skilled hand can create amazing art and amazing orgasms. So think of your sex positions more as tools, tools that you have in your toolbox to help facilitate great sex. And I think that’s a really good reframe for a lot of people. You know, like I said, people want to go out, I’m gonna get this book on the Kama Sutra or I’m gonna go buy this course on sex positions, and then I’ll finally be good in bed. But you can know all the positions in the world, every little variation and nuance to the positions, but if you can’t last long enough, you’re never going to get to most of them anyway.

Or if you’re not present enough, or if you’re not doing, you know, a constant state of arousal if you’re not aware of the arousal scale, if you’re not creating intimacy before, during, and after all of these things that we teach both of all these podcasts in the coaching work that we do in our power Mastery program. Those are the skills that actually make you a fantastic lover. The positions just help support that. Okay, so we’re going to start by just talking about what are the standard positions, and then of course, what I call the extended standard positions.

Alright. So the standard positions, everybody knows missionary, right, man on top woman laying on the bottom legs spread man between her legs on top, pretty standard position. And, you know, interestingly enough missionary gets kind of like a bad rap for like, being boring and not being that great. But you know, if you really ask women, most women will tell you, they really like the missionary position. And most men will tell you that too. And as we go through different positions for different desired effects, you’ll see where missionary really shines. Number two, missionary with her legs over your shoulders. So just a variation of missionary but the legs are up, and you kind of put her ankle ankles up on your shoulders. We’ll talk about the benefits and the downsides of that position. Later on. We have her on top. And then we have doggy style.

So those are kind of the standard positions right him on top her on top, from behind. Okay, pretty much everybody knows those. Now, why are they kind of the standard positions? Well, because they’re the ones that most people do. And, you know, let me cover the extended standard positions first. And then we’ll talk about how this all compares to the Kama Sutra. Okay, so I call these the extended standard positions just because they are still considered kind of standard positions, but just not as common as the ones that we just mentioned. So number one side position.

This is often where she is laying flat on her back, and the man is on his side. And she’s got one leg sort of overtop of him. And he’s penetrating her from the side. We have Yab Yum, that’s kind of that seated position where you’re both sitting down and the woman is usually sitting on top of the man could be on the bed could be in the chair. We have reverse cowgirl, which is basically her on top but facing the opposite way. So she’s not looking at you she’s facing the other way. We have standing up and standing up can be facing each other or with her turned around and bent over something. And then we help. So then the last one, of course, is from behind standing up. So those are what I would consider sort of the standard positions like everybody knows those positions, pretty much everybody has tried those positions.

And a lot of times when they’re like, hey, I want to do something new, they start trying to think outside that box. And there’s nothing wrong with that experimentation is great. And the box is not as boring as you think it is. And we’ll get to that. Okay, so now let’s talk about Kama Sutra, six positions, because this is like, this is kind of the holy grail for people when they really want to experiment outside the standard. You know, people say oh, yeah, when we do the same old positions all the time, I want to do something else, something crazy, something like totally different new. Let’s try the Kama Sutra. Okay, so depending on who you read, and of course, you know, we’ve got an entire library.

On sex books here. We have actually a pretty impressive library of books from both Céline and myself over the years. And this is just the stuff that we’ve kept. When we moved in together. Céline even got rid of a significant number of books that either she didn’t resonate with anymore, or we had doubles of a lot of stuff. But anyway, we have a fairly impressive library of books around sexuality, men’s sexuality, women’s sexuality, couples’ sexuality, Kama Sutra, you name it. So doesn’t really matter which one of those books you look at, it doesn’t really matter. You know, like what website you find online about the Kama Sutra, you’ll find hundreds, literally hundreds of different positions. So, you know, I just went over a list of like, Hey, here’s the standard positions, and here’s sort of the extended standard positions. There is no way I am going to go over a list of every Kama Sutra position

For two reasons, one, it would take way too long. And it would be way too boring. And I’d have to sit here and explain every nuance of every position. Why are there so many Arthur only so many ways human bodies can fit together? Yes, there are only so many ways human bodies can fit together. What you should notice if you’ve paid attention to the Kama Sutra is that they’re all variations on the standard positions. So you know, you might have 15 variations on missionary where her legs are up, her knees are bent, her legs are straight, they’re out to the side, they’re up to the ceiling, like one leg is bent, the other one straight, then you reverse the other leg is bent, the other one is straight. This is kind of the basic idea behind the Kama Sutra, there are many, many positions.

And there are lots of different subtle variations. Now, I don’t want to kind of blow it all off and say, Oh, it doesn’t matter, because they’re just minor variations. And it’s all the same thing. I do want you to know that the variations, those subtle sometimes can make a big difference. You know, a big thing with Kama Sutra positions is the angle that the woman’s hips are in. And so you’ll see multiple versions of a certain position where her hips, her hips are angled one way, or another way, or maybe angled to a certain number of degrees, and then I got a certain additional number of degrees, right? Every one of those little things can change the sensations.

So the depth of penetration can change with a variation, the particular spot inside the vagina that the penis is rubbing against can change. What, you know, are you touching the cervix or you’re not touching the cervix? So there are lots of little subtle things that can change. And, you know, here’s the thing, too, I did an episode not too long ago, on genital types, what is your genital type and how to make the most of it. And that was partially based on the Kenosha system of genital types, although I added a lot of our own stuff into it, too. And the reason I’m bringing that up now is that what I really want you to know is that all of this stuff varies based on your genital type, your partner’s genital type, and how those two fit together. Right?

So, you know, let’s say, you have a longer vaginal canal than the average woman, and your partner has a shorter penis than the average man, well, then you’re going to want to choose positions that maximize the depth of penetration. So you know which variation of the Kama Sutra you choose? Yeah, I mean, you might choose some just for fun. But you might choose some for a specific purpose, hey, I want to, I want to try to hit the surface, I want to try to have deeper penetration, I want to try to, you know, hit the G spot, or the peace bot, or the a spot or any of that stuff you get, the idea is that it’s not just about, hey, let’s just try it for fun. But there may be some other legitimate reasons to try these variations in these different positions.

So to me, that’s sort of the value of the Kama Sutra is it kind of opens your mind to the fact that there are a lot of different variations, and you keep trying them until you find the ones that really work for the two of you. So having said that, reasons why you should try new positions. I’ve talked about some of them already. But let’s just go over the full list. Because believe it or not, in fact, in the last listener questions episode that I did, one of the questions was, hey, my partner doesn’t want to try new positions. What can I do? Right, we’ll talk about that again, at the end of this episode, as well. So reasons to try new positions number one, to keep sex new and exciting.

Yeah, I mean, you don’t want to keep doing the same old thing. So we always do the same thing, the same positions for the same amount of time in the same order. Now, that doesn’t necessarily mean that there’s anything wrong with that. I mean, I can tell you that Selena and I kind of stuck to, you know, the top three or four positions that just worked really well for both of us. And yeah, we would change up every now and then. But those positions were so good. We didn’t really feel a need to change them because they worked. They definitely worked they created G Spot orgasms, clitoral orgasms, cervical orgasms, female ejaculation I mean they covered all the bases and so yeah, there wasn’t really a need for us.

To change, but sometimes you might, you might need to, maybe you’re just getting tired of doing the same old thing, you know, switch up the order that you do certain positions or the length of time that you do certain positions, or just add some new ones in there, those minor variations can bring a lot more excitement. Number two, to specifically stimulate different areas of the vagina. So kind of talked about this already. Most people have heard of the G spot, although Believe it or not, in 20, here we are in 2023. And a lot of people still think the g spot doesn’t exist, which just blows my mind. Yes, it exists, we’ve done whole videos on the G spot, ask any woman who’s really in touch with her own anatomy, and has actually had G Spot orgasms, and she will tell you, the G spot exists, it absolutely exists.

So you may want to try to hit the G spot, you may be trying to hit the cervix. And as I mentioned, there are other very sensitive areas that are extremely pleasurable for women and some of them are easier to stimulate than others in certain positions. Number three to accommodate Aging and Disabilities. I mean, this is a real thing. As people get older, maybe they can’t quite get into the same positions, and maybe their body shape isn’t the same. They’re not as strong as they used to be. So you might have to find new positions that accommodate where you are both at in that moment. The same thing with disabilities, you know, maybe somebody’s having a health challenge.

And you know what position they used to be able to get into, they just can’t anymore, so you might need to try some new ones. Number four, to possibly discover something you didn’t even think you would like. So one of the, you know, sort of resistance things that comes up when you’re talking about new positions is well, I already like what we do, and I don’t need anything else. Okay. But have you tried X, Y or Z? Well, no, I haven’t tried it. But I already know I like what I like, okay. But is there a possibility that you might find something else that you really like that you didn’t even know you would like that you didn’t even think that you would like?

I would say that there is a high likelihood that that will happen. I know in the years that Céline and I were together just for fun, we would try different things, you know, and every once in a while we’d stumbled upon something. And she’d be like, Oh, that’s really good. I never thought of that one before. So you never know, you might find some new ones that you didn’t even think you were going to like and it turns out you do them number five different positions feel better at different times of her cycle. So yeah, I mean, there are a lot of things that happen inside a woman, when she’s at different points in her cycle, one of which is the cervix itself will change shape and position. And so certain positions that feel good, when she really wants the cervix stimulated may not feel good when she doesn’t.

Or vice versa, certain positions that she can’t get cervical stimulation. And normally, at a certain point in her cycle, when the cervix changes shape and drops a little lower. Now all of a sudden, she can get cervical stimulation, and she wants it. So you know, you might do different positions based on where she’s at in her cycle and what’s feeling really good for her at that time. Number six, certain positions feel better for your partner, even if they are not your favorite. So this is a big one. And this is you know, at the end of the show, what can you do if your partner doesn’t want to try new positions, you have to understand that sometimes we do things for our partners, just because they really like it. And I don’t know about you but for me, I have always been if my partner is really loving something that I’m doing, then I get enjoyment just from that. Even if it’s not necessarily physically stimulating me in the same way. The fact that she’s really digging it and is she’s really getting high and she’s really moving up her arousal scale is absolutely enough for me to want to do it for her. So like many things in life and in relationships, sometimes we do things for other people just because they like it or they enjoy it.

And number seven, to help him last longer. So yes, there are positions that are more conducive to a man lasting longer. And we will definitely cover those in this episode. So those are seven reasons why you should try some new sex positions. So hopefully, you are now excited to try something new and different. Alright, so let’s move along. And we’re going to start with sex positions to maximize her pleasure. We’ve talked about this a lot on the show, but believe me when a woman is really in her full pleasure, man, you are in for a ride of pleasure yourself, like you have never experienced before.

Too many men think that you know, in order for me to have pleasure, I got to do stuff that is pleasurable for me. Not necessarily. When a woman truly is in her pleasure when she is surrendered, cracked, wide open, and just allowing herself to feel every bit of pleasure that she can possibly feel, she is going to return that to you. in ways you can’t even imagine like I used to say all the time, it’s like putting your penis in an electric socket, but in a good way. Right. So you definitely want to do sex positions that maximize her pleasure, because her pleasure is your pleasure, the higher she gets, the more energized she gets, the more she’s going to give that energy back to you, and the more pleasurable it’s going to be for you.

So now, keep in mind, that this will vary from woman to woman, and moment to moment. But there are some generalities that apply. So slowly, like did a YouTube video on this particular topic. So if you want her opinion on these positions, go find that and I think it was six positions to maximize her pleasure. All right, number one. Missionary, I know, like, missionary really, so boring. Why is the missionary good for her pleasure? Well, because you can hit the G spot, if you do missionary position correctly, and little tilt of the hips. And also depending on which way your penis tends to point either side to side up down, whatever, you stand a very good chance of giving direct stimulation to the G spot which can feel extremely pleasurable for women. So yeah, and my experience has been a lot of women do like the missionary position.

Even if it gets a bad rap for being boring, a lot of women will tell you, I actually really liked the missionary position. And depending on how you are as a guy, like if you’re not laying your entire body directly on top of her if you’re holding yourself up a little bit, she can also have access with her own hands to her clitoris, which can also be very stimulating and pleasurable for her as well. Number to her on top. So why is her on top so pleasurable? Well, it’s because she gets to control. So she can control the depth of penetration, she can control the speed, the rhythm, the angle. And so the thing is, as a guy, when you penetrate a woman, well, you should be able to anyway, if not, you need to work on this.

But you shouldn’t be able to feel stuff that’s happening inside her vagina. So when you penetrate her, you should be able to feel oh, it’s a little tight over here, or oh, I’m touching this spot, or I’m touching that spot. Or I can feel sensations or I can feel her muscles, engaging the muscles of the vaginal wall, like you should be able to feel stuff like that. However, you’re never going to be able to feel it the same way that she does, right? So what do I mean by that? Well, let’s say she’s on top and she really wants a certain part of her vagina stimulated. She can control she can change the angle of her hips, she can, you know, lean back further lean forward, further lean down on your chest, she can rotate this way or that way. And she’ll know instantly when she moves if she’s touching the spot that she really wants to be touching. And so for her, you know, obviously she has ultimate control over the pleasure she’s receiving because she can control all of that. If she wants faster, she can go faster. If she wants deeper, she can go deeper. If she wants slower, she can go slower. If she wants to change the angle she can change the angle.

So her on top is generally a really good position for her pleasure. Number three, missionary with legs over your shoulder. So some people say legs over Your shoulder, some of you will say ankles on your shoulders. I guess it all depends on the size difference between the two of you. But it’s a variation of missionary where her legs are up. Now, why is that? Great for her pleasure? Well, because it allows for deep penetration. Now, I will say this, if you happen to have a larger penis, this one might be a little difficult for a lot of women. Yeah, I won’t say that I have the largest penis out there. But you know, it’s a decent size. And I know with Celine, there were only certain times of the cycle where she could tolerate that position because otherwise, it was just way too much pressure on her cervix because it was just too deep for her in that position.

But if she is in that point in her cycle, where she really craves that cervical stimulation, then this could be a position that really allows you to get deep enough and stimulate the cervix and give her that amazing cervical orgasm. Number four, doggy style. Again, another one that allows for deep penetration, and it also allows her to simultaneously stimulate her clitoris. So that can be extremely satisfying and pleasurable for women. So those are really my top four, six positions to maximize her pleasure, they are positions that give her a lot of flexibility and the depth and the speed and the angle and whether or not she can access her clitoris. So she’s got a lot of possibilities there to maximize her pleasure.

Alright, so next we’re going to talk about best positions for cervical orgasms, we kind of covered that, but I’m going to go into a little bit more depth. And then we’ll get to six positions to last longer, which is also really important. But before we do that, a word from our second sponsor. Hey, guys, do you know what makes a man great, you know, the kind of masculine man that women are irresistibly attracted to? And one Is it money job title, his physical body, being great in bed, a big penis, great pickup lines. But what if you don’t have those are only some of them. What if you’ve had a string of failed relationships are embarrassed by your bedroom skills, doubt whether you can rise to the occasion, worry about lasting long enough or are always stuck in the friend zone I can help you if you are ready to make big changes and finally become the man you have always wanted to be, then this is the program for you to find out more, please go to Célineremy.com/go/warrior that is Célineremy.com/go/warrior Célineremy.com/go/warrior.

So you know I call that program warrior. If you don’t identify with the warrior archetype, it’s okay. This really is a coaching program for men how to be the best man you can be how to show up in your relationship as the best man you can be and how to show up in the bedroom. As the best man you can be. We will cover all kinds of stuff, we’ll talk about sex positions like this, we’ll talk about how to give great oral sex, and we will go in-depth on female anatomy so that you understand how to give a woman pleasure literally from the anatomical point of view.

We will talk about creating intimacy I mean there are so so many skills that we can cover in this coaching program. So if you are interested, go to Céline remy.com forward slash go forward slash warrior, you will not regret it. There is no time like now to finally become the man in and out of the bedroom that you have always wanted to be we will talk about how to last longer, how to power up your erections. How to Become a sexual master all of that stuff. Right Célineremy.com/go/warrior. Alright, so now let’s talk about the best sex positions for cervical orgasms. And as a caveat, these are also good positions for men with smaller penises. So this is a common question that often gets asked by men and like, they’ll say things like, Hey, I have a small penis. Well, you know, what can I do about it? Well, here are some positions that will sort of compensate for the lack of length. So obviously, if you have a longer penis, then these are positions that are going to allow you to really make contact with that cervix.

But if you have a shorter penis, you may still not make contact with the cervix, but you will get penetration deep enough for it to be really pleasurable for her. Now, remember that the inside of the vagina only has nerve endings up to a few inches inside, right. So it doesn’t mean that she doesn’t feel anything past that. But what it means is you don’t need to be really, really long or large in order to give her pleasurable sensations. However, depending on the size of your penis, you might need a little help to get in there deep enough. Okay, number one, doggy style.

We just talked about this in the ones that give her pleasure. But doggy style is one of those positions that allow you to get some pretty good deep penetration. So if you happen to have a longer, larger penis, just be careful with this one because a lot of times women will say, Oh, no, no, no, I am not ready for doggy style, yet. It is way too deep of penetration. Like, let’s do something else first. But if she’s at that point in her cycle, where she’s like, Man, I would just want you to pound my cervix, this is a good choice. Also, if you happen to have a shorter penis, and you’re really trying to maximize the depth that you can get in doggy style is a great choice. Number two missionary with her knees at your chest.

So this is the Missionary position, this is with her legs bent, and she kind of either puts her knees or if she’s really flexible, even her feet on your chest so that her knees are up more towards her chest. This is one that really allows you to get deep penetration. So again, this is one that at many times she might be like, Whoa, way too intense. And other times she might be like oh yeah, give it to me. So definitely one that will allow you deeper penetration to get closer to that cervix. And of course deeper penetration, if you have a smaller penis, will work as well. Number four, her on top. So this you know and we talked about this in the ones for her pleasure this is because she can adjust the angle, she will know when your penis is touching her cervix.

Now, I could always tell this thing would ask me like, Oh, can you feel that you’re touching my cervix? I’m like, Oh, yes, I can. I could always tell when the head of my penis was touching her cervix. I don’t really know how to explain it other than you can feel that you are quote-unquote bottoming out like you’re the tip of your penis is coming up against something. So you can definitely feel it. I could always feel it. But having said that, not all guys can because they’re not familiar with what that feeling is like. So they may think Yeah, I think I’m there. I think I think that’s the spot. And she’ll be like, nope, nope, that ain’t it. Nope. So with her on top, she can then control the angle. She can lie back further, she can move around, you can adjust that angle, until she gets to the place where she’s like, ah, that’s it right there.

Now you are touching the cervix. And number five sitting position is also known as Yab. Yum. So this is another one where she can adjust the angle until she feels her cervix being touched now, in this position, because it doesn’t allow as deep of penetration as some of the others. You may not hit the cervix if it’s not the right time of her cycle. But if it is, you certainly can. And yeah, you will see her the way she chooses to sit on you will tell you if you are going too deep or if she wants more. Because if you’re going too deep, you’ll notice she’s like squeezing your legs together a little bit more. And she’ll kind of like sort of move her hips back a little bit create a little bit more space.

But if she’s like oh yeah, I want it like as deep as you can give it to me. You’ll see those legs open up more and she’ll just push as hard as she can up against you. So those are the best positions for cervical orgasms. OB Hey. Yeah, yeah, baby. No, we will not behave on this show because it’s more fun to misbehave. All right. So let’s talk now about sex positions to last longer because this is a common question that guys have, they’ll often say, hey, you know, as soon as she gets on top of me, I or as soon as we do doggy style, I can’t control it anymore, and I ended up ejaculating. So what can I do? Well, there are a lot of things that you can do sex positions are only one of them.

So really, if you really want to know how to master your ejaculation, I highly suggest you go take the master your ejaculation program at power mastery.com. Or hire me to work with you and do some one-on-one coaching so that we can get that squared away. Having said that, there are a few positions that lend themselves to better control on your end as a man. So just like for women, there were positions where she had more control. For men, there are positions where you have more control. So number one sex position to last longer is the side position. So this is where she’s laying on her back and you are laying on your side, and you are penetrating her, you’re both kind of in relaxed positions.

So one of the reasons why this is a good position when you want to last longer is because you are relaxed. If you know, from you know, the teachings that we’ve done over the years tension equals ejaculation, the more tense you are, the harder it is to control your ejaculation. So if you have to, like hold yourself up for long periods of time, and your arms are getting tired, or you’re in some weird position, and you’re creating a lot of tension that may make it more difficult for you to control your ejaculation. So side position allows you to be really relaxed, it also allows for a shallower penetration. So, therefore, you’re not getting as much stimulation on your penis or on certain areas of your penis.

So for instance, let’s say you have really deep penetration, and the head of your penis is touching a certain area inside her vagina, that might be really, really stimulating for you. And you’re like, Ah, I can’t take this any longer. Whereas in a position like side position, where you’re not penetrating as deeply, there might be less stimulation on the head of your penis, in which case, you’d be like, okay, yeah, this is pleasurable, but it’s not overly stimulating, I can manage to go here for a while. So number one sex position to last longer aside position. Number two, seated or Yab yum. The reason why this one is good to last longer is because it’s generally slower movement.

So when you’re in that seated position, or that Yab yum position, unless she’s really motivated, and like, she’s going to, like, get up on the balls of her feet and start, you know, jumping up and down, so to speak, she’s, unless she’s really motivated to do that, it’s going to be more of a subtle rocking of the hips back and forth, she’s going to be resting her weight down on top of you, rocking her hips back and forth, you’ll probably be eye gazing holding each other. So it’s just a position that allows for slower movement, slower movement generally equals less sensation, therefore, you’re able to control your ejaculation longer. Number three missionary position.

So why is the missionary position good for control when you want to last longer? Well, because you have control, you get to decide as the guy, how deep you go, how fast you go, what’s the rhythm, right, so all of those things, you get to decide if you need to slow down if you need to take a break. If you need moments of what we call stillness, big practice in Tantra, when you start getting too close to, you know, with sets that you’re on that arousal scale, and you’re getting close to that point of no return. Maybe you just stop. And you just there’s no motion and you just feel the sensations and the throbbing of your penis and the throbbing of her vagina, right? So missionary position gives you that control gives you the ability to control that. And as a guy, honestly, only you really know where you’re at on your arousal scale. So the fact that you get to control the motion that’s happening in accordance with where you are, in your arousal scale is an important tool for lasting longer now.

If she’s really good at paying attention to you, she should also be able to feel where you’re at. And if she thinks that you’re getting too close, and she doesn’t want sex to end yet, then she should be communicating to you like, Hey, do you need me to slow down or do you need me to stop or do you need a moment? Do you need to take a break? Like she shouldn’t be asking you questions like that. But sometimes women don’t do that. Sometimes they’re not aware sometimes they just missed the signal. Sometimes they’re too busy in their own pleasure to notice what’s going on.

Hang on with you, hopefully not. But that does happen a lot. So yeah, all of those things are things that you might want to control if you know that you are struggling to control your ejaculation. And number four, doggy style, again, because you have control, you don’t have quite as much control because she could start pushing back pretty, pretty hard, and she can really get you higher, maybe, excuse me, then you want to go. But it does give you control. Because ultimately, you can grab on to the hips, you can control how fast things are going, how deep things are going, and all of that.

So basically, you know, if I’m, if I’m helping a man understand how to use sex positions as an aid to help them last longer, I want to tell you that it’s really any position where you get to control the action, right. And so if you’re aware of your arousal scale, which we’ve taught many times on this show, and you know where you’re at, and you have control over the motion that’s happening, then you have control over your ejaculation, at least to some extent, right. Obviously, there are other things that you need to learn. But if you can control the motion, and you know where you’re at, you’ve already got powerful tools to help you last longer. So you may have noticed in these different lists, that a lot of these are the same positions.

Now. Remember, I talked about the common suture and I said there are variations. So there’s all these little minor variations about moving your leg or your hip this way, or this or that, you can use any one of those variations in place of the standard position. If it works better for you, or it’s more exciting for you. You will also notice that these positions have more than one benefit. So you might want to choose positions, like let’s say, let’s say you want to be able to last longer, but you also have a shorter penis. And so you want to maximize the depth of penetration. Well, maybe you pick the modified missionary where her legs are up, or her knees are on your chest or her feet are on your chest, right? Something that really puts you in the driver’s seat so that you have control. But that also maximizes the depth of penetration.

So you can see that if you understand really each position and where its benefits are and where its downsides are. And then you can start to look at your goals, what are your goals, my goal is to give her cervical orgasm or my goal is just to give her pleasure, or my goal is to be in control. So I can master my ejaculation or my goal is any two or three of those things simultaneously, right. So just know what it is that you want to accomplish. And then pick the position that will do the best to get you there. And that’s really, if I could give you one piece of advice in this show.

That’s really what it’s about. So I started this by saying, hey, it’s not that the sex positions are going to necessarily make you a better lover. It’s knowing how to use them, that is going to make you a better lover, right? These are tools in your toolbox. And now you have an understanding of like, hey, this tool works really well for this, this job. And this tool works really well for this one. And this tool works well for this one. And this one, oh, I could use that for both of those things right? There. Thank you have a better idea. Now after listening to this show, how you can make the most out of your position? And, you know, if the Kama Sutra type variations are something that you really want to explore, by all means, go get a book, go take a course, whatever it is that you need to do, it’s fun, nonetheless right to just try different things.

So go for it and use those variations in place of the standards. All right, two last things and then we’ll wrap this episode up number one what to do if your partner does not want to try new positions. Again, I covered this in the last listener questions episode, but I will go over it real quick. In case you didn’t hear that episode. Number one, communicate, find out what is in the way really, who says no to more potential pleasure unless there is something potentially in the way they’re afraid they can’t get into that position or they’re afraid they won’t be able to last long enough or they think it might be painful. I don’t want to try that because it looks painful, right?

There’s generally something in the way so communicate, find out what that is because likely it’s something simple that you could easily mitigate. Or is or something that isn’t even real, to begin with? Number two, let them know that this is something that is important to you and your pleasure. And I talked about this more in the beginning of the show as well. Sometimes we do things for our partners just because it’s pleasurable for them because they love it. And, you know, I’ve done that many times, there are positions where I was like, you know, this particular position doesn’t do a whole lot for me, but she’s really liking it. So yeah, why not? Why wouldn’t I do it? I’ll do this for as long as she is loving it. As long as she’s into it, as long as it’s taking her closer to orgasm. Why not? Alright, number three, ask them to at least try it. They don’t have to continue if it’s not working for them. Right?

So a lot of times people will have resistance. Why don’t we just try it? If it doesn’t work out, we never have to do it again. And lastly, maybe they aren’t up for that position. But maybe they would be open to another one. So if you’re trying to get your partner to try something new, and they’re just like, Nope, don’t want to do it, don’t want to do it, don’t want to do it. Say well, maybe there’s something else that appeals to you more than this particular one that is still new and different from what we always do. So if your partner is really not open to trying new positions, again, communicate, find out what’s in the way, let them know that this is something that is important to you, and see if they would be willing to give it to you just because it’s something that you want.

And it’s pleasurable to you. Ask them to at least try it with no obligation to buy. And number four, try if they’re not open to that particular one. Maybe they are open to another one. Okay, final considerations on sex positions. Number one, don’t be afraid to fail. Like, especially if you want to go exploring the Kama Sutra and you see how wacky some of these positions are? Like, some of them just aren’t going to work for you. Like it looks so easy in the photo. Why is this so difficult, right? That’s just the way it is. You know, Selena and I used to like to experiment just for fun, like, hey, let’s try this thing, just because why not right. And there are times when it just didn’t work. We fell over, we fell out of the bed. Like it just was a disaster, you know? And we laugh about it. We just laugh about it and think oh my god, that was hysterical. Okay, that one’s out. We’re not going to try that one. Again.

Let’s try something else. Don’t be afraid to fail it sex is supposed to be fun. And it should be experimenting, at least from time to time. Number two, of course, have fun with it. Right? So don’t be afraid to fail and have fun with it. laugh about it. If it doesn’t work out, right? Tell that story to your friends. Oh my god, did we ever tell you about the time we tried, you know, hanging from the whatever thing and then the whole thing fell down and we hit the floor and I hit my hell, it was the funniest thing ever, right? Just have fun with it. laugh about it. If it doesn’t work, cheer it when it does work. Next, don’t worry about what you look like in a particular position.

This is actually something that does come up more for women than for men. But it is something that does come up and I don’t want to get in that position. It’s gonna make my stomach look fat, or it’s gonna whatever. Don’t worry about it. Trust me, don’t worry about it. If he’s into having sex with you, he’s okay with however you look in any position, don’t worry about it. Just enjoy the sensations that that position brings to you. Next, if a position isn’t working for you, don’t be afraid to say so if you’ve agreed to do something, and it’s just not working for you. Don’t be afraid to raise your hand. Excuse me, excuse me. This just ain’t working for me. We need to do something else. Right? Just because you agreed to it doesn’t mean you have to keep doing it. And the last one, don’t hurt yourself. We don’t want to have any broken penises or, you know, broken furniture. Well, I mean, that happens sometimes broken.

But anyway, the idea is, try not to hurt yourself. Again. Sex is supposed to be fun. It’s supposed to be pleasurable. And yeah, if somebody’s vagina is left hurting, or somebody’s penis gets snapped, and that can happen, by the way, and it’s very dangerous. That’s just not good for anybody involved. So keep in mind a little bit of safety when you are trying these positions. All right. I hope that was helpful and informative. I know I have gotten multiple questions about these topics before. So I tried to get all of the six position questions wrapped up into one episode.

Hope you got value out of it. And that is all I have for you for this episode. Open One more thing in the comments, whether on YouTube or on the podcast or on our website, all the different places where you can listen to this. Let me know in the comments what your favorite sex positions are and the ones that work best for you. And why would love to hear that? I love reading your comments. By the way, I do my best to reply to as many of them as I can. And yes, it is actually me replying to them, not some assistant halfway around the world. You know, as a subject matter expert, a lot of times people ask me questions in the comments that only I or Céline at the time could answer. So we’d love to hear it. Hit those comments up. Let me know what you like and what works for you. All right, everybody. That’s all I have for this episode. And I will see you next week.

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Céline Remy 51:01
And for more free exclusive content. Join us in the passion vault at Célineremy.com/vault. That’s kevinanthonycoaching.com/vault.

Kevin Anthony 51:15
Thanks for listening.

Céline Remy 51:17
And remember, you’re amazing