Sensual Massage Hacks For Lovers

Kevin Anthony 0:11
Welcome to the love lab podcast a safe place to get real about sex. Whether you’re a man or woman, single or couple, this is the show for you. We are your hosts,

Céline Remy 0:20
Kevin Anthony and Celine Remy. And we are here to guide you to go from good to amazing in the bedroom and beyond.

Kevin Anthony 0:27
Alright, welcome back to the love lab podcast. This is Episode 166. And it’s titled central massage hacks for lovers. Okay, you’re definitely going to want to listen to this whole show, we’re going to talk about why if you are not already including sensual massage into your repertoire you should be we’re going to talk about how to do it properly.

Kevin Anthony 0:51
And then we’re also going to give some tips that are very specific to men and women because there are some differences in how you would approach sensual massage based on who you are giving it to. So we got lots of stuff here to talk about. And well, it’s just going to be fun, because we’re talking about sex and massage and fun stuff.

Céline Remy 1:15
Before we get started, let’s give a big shout-out to our sponsor’s power and mastery. So if you want to join the secret club of men who are great in bed, then check out power and mastery at power and mastery.com it is the most complete sexual mastery training for men, whether you want to have harder erections last longer, or increase your sexual skills. And that includes your central massage skills. There is something for you at power and mastery.com.

Kevin Anthony 1:44
Okay, so this first part is you know, why you would want to give a receive a central besides now, it sounds like, you know, some of you might be listening to this thinking, do we really have to go there. Of course, who doesn’t love getting a massage, you know, but the thing is, is we work with a lot of couples. And part of that is often teaching them how to touch each other.

Kevin Anthony 2:10
And we are constantly amazed by the lack of knowledge in this area. So, you know, they’ll say, Okay, now I want you to give to her or you to give to him, and we watch what they do. And it’s like, you know, they’re kneading dough, or they’re like, they just like, it’s not even like they’re touching the partner that they love that they just have weird stuff that they do.

Kevin Anthony 2:36
It’s sometimes it’s outright awkward, like just awkward like, Okay, well, no, no, no, no, no, just stop everything you’re doing. Let’s start over, right. So there are some legit reasons why we should talk about why you should do this and how you should do it. Because it appears to us from the work that we do that this needs to be talked about.

Céline Remy 3:01
In order lot of people think about central massage, and it’s something you do with, well, maybe it’s somebody you pay to give you a central massage, or it’s something you might do like your new lovers. But something sometimes gets forgotten as one of the great ways to connect. And that says why we want to bring it back again.

Céline Remy 3:23
Because no matter where you are in your relationship, it will help you reduce your stress and helps to relax, which gets you in the mood for sex. Because that’s one of the biggest struggles that you deal with.

Céline Remy 3:36
When you’re in a long-term relationship and you have life and things happen, then it gets in the way and it becomes harder to get in that place for sex. And as we always say, you don’t have to be in the mood. You create the mood, and essential massage can help you get there.

Kevin Anthony 3:56
So let’s start with our

Céline Remy 3:59
divers. Number one.

Kevin Anthony 4:00
Yeah, well, yes, you were kind of going a little fast. I’m like you’re gonna give the whole list away in one sentence, but now it’s right. Okay, so we’ll skip number one, which was it’s a great way to reduce stress was helps you get into the mood. And then number two is, is great foreplay that often leads to sex.

Kevin Anthony 4:20
So we talked about this all the time that you know, our date night rules are that we do something together and that at some point, we should be naked. And you know, a lot of times when one or the other of us or sometimes both of us. I was just completely exhausted. Not at all in the mood for sex. A lot of times one of us will say okay, I’ve got a little bit more energy than you do.

Kevin Anthony 4:45
So I’m just going to start by giving you a massage. Now there’s no expectation that that’s going to become sex. It’s just like, we want to connect. So this is a great way to do it. It’s relatively Easy doesn’t take a ton of, you know, effort necessarily. But I will say that the majority of the time that we do this unless we’re really exhausted, it does eventually turn into sex.

Céline Remy 5:15
It’s true. Number three is that it helps you to know your partner’s body even better. Because what they tend to like during a central massage is also often what they like during sex, you get to discover new places. Also, for sensual massage, it tends to usually be unrushed. And we’ll talk more about the details.

Céline Remy 5:37
But it’s something where you get a chance to explore your partner’s body, I always like to say that you should imagine that you are an artist and that your partner’s body is a blank canvas, where you get to create the masterpiece, and really giving it your all to create the most amazing piece of art.

Céline Remy 5:59
And if that’s how you approach your partner’s body, the massage will be much different than if you are trying to approach it like you have a coloring book, they’re not gonna be the same. I want to get into some of the great steps about how to give a central massage before we dive into the specifics of men and women.

Céline Remy 6:21
Because yes, there are differences. And I’m excited about sharing that which you probably already know, but they might be good reminders. But let’s talk about a little bit of what does it take to do essential massage, in terms of logistics of preparation, and how you can create the best outcome possible.

Kevin Anthony 6:42
Yeah, so you know, like so many things in life, it’s not just about that I got my hands on union, you know, digging into your sore muscles, there’s a whole lot more to essential massage than just that. So we’re going to talk about some of those other things that maybe you hadn’t thought about.

Kevin Anthony 7:01
So number one is to create a sacred space, you should kind of be doing this in every sexual encounter that you have. And a couple of guys are probably rolling their eyes, I got to create space, I don’t create space in the interior fucking designer, like whatever, you know, it doesn’t have to be super complicated.

Kevin Anthony 7:22
It could be really simple, like just turning down the lights a little bit, or maybe lighting some candles, or maybe arranging the bed in a certain way, not just ripping the covers, or this or that, or throwing the pillows on the floor. It could be playing some nice relaxing music, you know, every time you go get a massage somewhere, what do they do, they play relaxing music because it helps you let go and relax

Céline Remy 7:50
and they have scented oil, warm blankets underneath for sheets that are soft, you know, like think about the senses when you are playing with a sensual massage right includes all senses, not just a touch. And as a little side note, your bedroom should be already more of a sacred space, there are only two things that should be happening in your bedroom, which are sleeping and lovemaking.

Céline Remy 8:19
Anything else in terms of activities should be done outside of the bedroom. That means no TV in the bedroom or computers or phones or tablets. Because you want to create the connection that bedroom equals making love are sleeping and other places in the house where you can do the other stuff.

Kevin Anthony 8:42
Yeah, well, while we’re on that topic, your bedroom is supposed to be a place of relaxation and rest.

Céline Remy 8:48
It’s a healing sanctuary,

Kevin Anthony 8:50
a healing sanctuary. So you know, when you see people’s bedrooms, and they have bookshelves full of books, and they have a computer and a desk over there, they got a TV, they got all this kind of stuff. That’s not a place that is designed for rest and relaxation. Now, I understand if you live in a small place, and you don’t have a lot of space, you got to do what you got to do.

Kevin Anthony 9:14
But in those cases, see if you can find ways to put a little divider, you know like I lived in one room for a number of years and I had to have an office but I had this huge walk-in closet thing that I didn’t need to have as a guy didn’t have that many clothes, most of it was empty. So I literally put my office in my desk in there so that I could close the door not see it when I wasn’t working. So just you just have to get creative.

Céline Remy 9:42
I step number two is you want to use oil and think about the logistics of the oil before you get started. So one little tip is to use an oil warmer so it’s going to make the oil nice and warm to the touch. You can buy electric ones you can buy sums that are Just with a candle, like whatever rocks your boat, but the idea behind that is to bring the oil art in nice body temperature so that when you apply it on your partner, they don’t just go like are so-called and then like it creates this massive reaction, then you’re not relaxed at all,

Kevin Anthony 10:17
especially since most of the world lives in a place where it’s cold half the year, your oil is either frozen solid, or it’s at least very, very cold. And that’s never fun.

Céline Remy 10:30
And you want to have it close by like ready, you don’t want to be starting something and then like, oh, let me go pause and go through the cupboards and like trying to find something, you know, have even maybe a little washcloth ready so that you can wipe your hands or if you spill some, you know, like, just think ahead that a bit. You know, this

Kevin Anthony 10:49
brings me to one that is not on the list here speaking of cold, hard oil, which keeps the room warm. That’s when we didn’t put it on the list originally. But you know, nobody wants to be laying there exposed and naked and shivering.

Céline Remy 11:07
That’s a good addition, I’d say I put it into creating the sacred space. Yeah, and I’m kind of like, of course, duh. But I’m glad you brought it up. Because you’re correct. A lot of people don’t think about that. And it is the secret. If you want your lover to get more naked, you got to make it super comfortable.

Céline Remy 11:24
There is actually a connection if you are too tight from being cold, your nervous system can’t relax. And that makes it much harder to have orgasms and to feel in. Control. You’re ejaculation.

Kevin Anthony 11:38
if you’re a man.

Céline Remy 11:40
So yeah, temperature. Alright, step number three you slow controlled pressure by slow controlled pressure in. That’s a little bit what Kevin was bringing, was talking about when he was saying when we witness people give massages to each other, and we kind of cringe because it just is not the way you would do it.

Céline Remy 12:01
So slow means that you slow it down way more than what you think will then when I say slow, sometimes when I work with people, and I tell them slow and they still go fast, and I say slow down, and they still go too fast. And I have to tell them my free time to get there. So pay attention.

Céline Remy 12:19
And try to coordinate if you start to coordinate your breathing with the hands, you can go as fast and unless you’re really fast, braver, which you shouldn’t be, but that’s a topic for an entire episode. But combine your breath with a touch and controlled pressure, meaning that you put some good pressure, it’s not a tickling contest, but you adjust the pressure depending on the body part and on who you’re working on.

Céline Remy 12:45
Because obviously, when you’re working on somebody who is a little bit thicker or a man they tend to like deeper pressure of women who might be a little bit thinner, might like less pressure. Again, I’m making generalizations. Some people all over the spectrum will like different types of touch up.

Céline Remy 13:02
And it’s also about not trying to finish fast. Like the whole mistake that I see some people that they think that the sensual message is a means to an end. So they’re trying to get this really quick because they want to get to the fun part because meaning the sensual message is not fine.

Kevin Anthony 13:20
Yeah, there you go. shoulders. Alright, let’s move on next, where we’re going after that.

Céline Remy 13:24
Yeah, that’s, that’s what we’re talking about here. And that slow controlled breathing. Pressure also will allow the receiver to relax deeper.

Kevin Anthony 13:34
Absolutely. Alright, number four, be present and breathe. Okay, so here’s another thing that we see, when we’re teaching this to clients, which is that it’s almost like they’re just going through the paces, right, you know, just like they do so much of their life, right, which is just going through the paces without really paying a whole lot of attention to what’s happening or what they’re actually doing. So this is a place where you really want to be present.

Kevin Anthony 14:06
And you really want to be paying attention to everything you’re doing every stroke you’re doing every time you use that thumb in that sore spot. You want to be paying attention. Oh, did she react? Did he react? What was the reaction? Did they like it? Did they not like it just being present with everything that’s happening in every move that you make is very deliberate.

Kevin Anthony 14:29
And thought about? I want to go here next I want to do this. I want to try this move. I want to see how she likes that. Not just kind of going through the paces of step one, step two, step three, when can we get this over with so I can just take my cock in there right like no, that’s not the way you do

Céline Remy 14:49
something when you are really immersed into what you’re doing Time flies and there’s a communication beyond words that is happening where the body responds to that. you respond to the body responding to you, you give an even better touch. There’s something magical that happens when you can stop there.

Céline Remy 15:07
But it doesn’t happen. If you’re thinking about your to-do list your laundry, or what you’re going to feed the kids later, it just won’t work in that, that practice of being present or mindfulness, whatever you want to call it is all the rage lately like people are teaching left and right how to do that because it is that important.

Céline Remy 15:30
And to be honest, the way you do one thing is the way you do everything. So mindfulness and presence is a habit to develop in every area of your life, which in turn will translate into the bedroom, wherever you start in the bedroom or outside of the bedroom doesn’t matter. The idea is to cultivate that habit of being able to be more present at the moment so that the quality of the interaction is increased.

Kevin Anthony 15:57
Yeah, well, you know, we also had breath on there. And the reason is, that focusing on your breathing is a great way to help you be more present and do all those things that we just talked about.

Céline Remy 16:07
Step number five, include the genitals without focusing on giving an orgasm and welcome back to the genitals and how to do that for her and how to do that for him. For now, the idea too, is we are talking about a sensual massage, which will include the genitals at some point.

Céline Remy 16:24
And the idea is not so much that you do have just the genitals and that they have you go somewhere, is that you celebrate the genitals rather than having this massage, where when you go to regular massage therapists, they have what I call the doughnut, where there’s this big giant hole in your body that they don’t they skate gaping hole that doesn’t exist that don’t touch, right,

Kevin Anthony 16:46
your glutes don’t exist, your genitals don’t exist, you know, any of the connections between the two, which is I mean, I understand why they have to do that in most cases. But at the same time, you have to realize that our bodies are not separated into specific zones, everything is connected, your low back is connected to your glutes, which are connected to your hamstrings.

Kevin Anthony 17:12
And, you know, if you’re trying to do the hamstrings and trying to do the low back, but you’re completely skipping the glutes that tie the two of them together. Are you really going to do a good job of releasing the tension in the lower back because the glutes are still tight as can be and pulling on that lower back? Right? And that’s just one example.

Céline Remy 17:29
Probably not. But also the idea is that when you include the genitals, but you don’t make it about the orgasms, you make it about the sensations. See, essential massage is about awakening a body, awakening the person’s energy so that they tingle from head to toe with this lifeforce energy, and that they just feel so alive and turn down and electrified. Yeah, that’s what a sexual massage is designed for.

Kevin Anthony 18:01
That sounded amazing.

Céline Remy 18:03
And also, just to be clear, essential massage. While it’s amazing when you get a full body massage everywhere, it doesn’t have to be like, you know, timewise, it might be very long to be like, I don’t have two hours to give my lovers like a full body massage. But maybe we can pick one area, the bag, and the genitals or something like this. So remember that you don’t always have to include the entire body. But you definitely want to bring sensuality to it.

Kevin Anthony 18:32
Yeah, and if you don’t have time to do the whole thing and do two hours of massage, try to carve out some time in your schedule occasionally, at least for that. Okay. Number six, number six, use thumbs, palms, elbows, full body to varying the contact. So, you know, a lot of the things that people say like the feedback is like, oh, man, this is so much work.

Kevin Anthony 18:57
Like, my hands are tired. Oh, my, I can’t feel my thumbs anymore, right? Like, really, how long do I have to do this. But the thing is, you don’t have to just use your hands. It’s not all about grip strength. There are lots of different parts of your body that you can use. So you know, of course, to deliver hard pressure, you can use the palms of your hands, you can use your elbows.

Kevin Anthony 19:21
You know, there are lots of things like that, but you can also kind of vary it up and use other parts of your body to create a sensation like if you’re a woman, use your breasts to gently rub up against him and you can vary between hard pressure with your hands or elbows and soft pressure using your breasts or another part of your body

Céline Remy 19:42
and hence why you use the oil because when you do that you want to have good oil so that it’s like

Kevin Anthony 19:47
wants to sly

Céline Remy 19:50
number seven send love and healing to your hands. Not just those appendices as attachments there. They can become an issue. extension of your heart, just like your penis scan or your pussy. Again, it’s a subject for another time. But the idea behind that is when you touch the person, imagine that the middle of your, of your palm has like an eye to see.

Céline Remy 20:15
Or it could be like your heartbeat isn’t there, like whatever visualization you want to do, but that you can feel not just for your fingertips, but with your hands. And as you’re touching, you’re transmitting the power of your love, and even desire for your hands.

Kevin Anthony 20:32
Yeah, if you’ve never played with this before, you really should, because, well, it’s real. In other words, if you’re really focusing on the energy that’s being transmitted through the touch, you can feel different things. And I’ve done this experiment with people to where you say, Okay, I’m going to do something, and I’m going to put a particular like energy intention into it, and then tell me what you think it was.

Céline Remy 20:58
And usually, you can see your head, like, it’s just gonna be like, nurturing, sensual, and relaxing. Like, you can choose three different things, you know, to narrow it down.

Kevin Anthony 21:08
Yeah, and you can tell them beforehand, so they have words to use to describe it or a lot of times they’ll say, like, I don’t know, it felt, I felt a little like, angry, you know, like, that’s exactly what I was doing. You know, I was like, putting, like, I’m mad at you. And I’m doing this to hurt you kind of energy, even though you’re not physically hurting them.

Kevin Anthony 21:27
Or it could be, you know, absolute just love and adoration. You know, I just felt so loved and supported. And it was so beautiful because that’s the energy. So it’s a fun little game. If you haven’t done it before, I highly suggest that you try that. It’s not really the focus of this particular practice that we’re teaching you. But it’s another fun little bonus one that you can add in there.

Céline Remy 21:53
And last but not least, when you give a mess, essential massage, it’s important that you make it about your partner, and not about you. And this is huge. This is the whole idea.

Kevin Anthony 22:04
This is hard for a lot of guys,

Céline Remy 22:05
this is giving without having expectations or an agenda that it has to lead somewhere. But it’s also about giving to it, this is a fine line because I know a lot of guys like I give to pleasure hurt. But when doing so your intention is for her to have an orgasm and for her to scream your name.

Céline Remy 22:27
When you do that you’re giving with an agenda you’re giving with an intention, because you want a certain outcome to happen through what you’re doing. Or are you touching him with the intention of making him cum? And that’s also an agenda or having to respond a certain way.

Kevin Anthony 22:43
Another one that we see a lot too is you know, guys will say, I’m such a giver, I’m always giving, I’m just I’m all about giving to the feminine, but they’re not really giving what they’re actually doing is taking energy. Because as they touch, they’re actually feeling the energy and getting turned down. And it’s all about what they feel through touch. Yet they think that it’s about them giving to the other person,

Céline Remy 23:06
it is a tricky line. line, we do have to unwrap that one a lot.

Céline Remy 23:12
But the thing is, you have to find that place where you are creating, you know, you have to give a touch that feels pleasurable to you and enjoyable as you’re working on your partner. But you’ve got to pay attention to the clues of your partner and respond to what they doing in response to what you’re doing on them.

Céline Remy 23:30
It’s a really fun, delicate balance of being connected as long as you are connected to your heart. And the intention is to provide something that feels good, even if the touching itself is not great at that moment. They tell you to shift things around. That’s all that matters. It’s again having that intention of I’m going to do my best and be here with my heart. And not just with what’s between my legs.

Kevin Anthony 23:55
Exactly. So before we get into the specific techniques for her and for him. We’re going to talk about our sponsor, which is us and I will let Celine read the ad.

Céline Remy 24:05
So today’s sponsor is actually for all the ladies listening if you want to learn more about how to give the perfect sensual massage, you need to go check out my online course  “touch of love”. It will teach you how to rekindle the flame and the passion in your relationship how to touch him in a way that no other woman has ever touched him. It will teach you to give him the most amazing mind-blowing gentle massage.

Céline Remy 24:33
We’re going to go into so much more detail than what we just covered fruit. If you want to learn more about the touch of love, go to kevinanthonycoaching.com/touch and you will be forwarded to the page to learn more about this course at kevinanthonycoaching.com/touch or follow the link in the description below.

Kevin Anthony 24:54
Yeah, I know. You know in this episode we’re talking about you know a man giving to a woman and a woman giving to a man The touch of love is very specifically geared towards women giving to men.

Kevin Anthony 25:04
But in our sexual mastery course, even though it’s not specifically about giving a central massage, we do have techniques and practices in there on how to touch women properly. And maybe, maybe one of these days we’ll create a touch of love for men to give to women or something like that, I don’t know, we will have to think about that

Céline Remy 25:24
there is a whole module in sexual mastery dedicated to it. So that’s what you’ve got. That’s worth learning because everybody goes to learn something new. Alright, let’s talk about refining your technique for her. So if you are a man who is working on a woman or a woman working on a woman, but it doesn’t matter if you’re working on a woman, let’s get

Kevin Anthony 25:48
started can resist. Okay,

Céline Remy 25:51
let’s get started with the most important thing, I want you to think about the bull’s eye. The bull’s eye means that there’s something in the middle, and then there’s the outside. So as a man, usually your single focus, you go towards the bull’s eyes, and you’re like, I reached the middle, I reached this, this is amazing.

Céline Remy 26:07
When you’re working on the woman, the bull’s eyes happen to be her genitals that middle part, do not and I repeat, do not start with her genitals, you must start from the circumference from the outside towards the genitals.

Kevin Anthony 26:22
Yeah, this is a huge one for men to understand, because as you’ll find out when we get to the men’s list, it’s quite the opposite if you’re working on a mat. So because we as men tend to like to receive it differently, we tend to give the way that we would like to receive, and that just does not work in this case. So you definitely do not want to just go straight to her genitals, you got to warm her up, start anywhere else.

Céline Remy 26:53
And the other part that I’d like to mention is walk to work to water genitals without touching them. So rather than going, let’s say from the thighs down to the feet, you could go from the feet up to Ward’s huperzia, like towards the crotch area, but you don’t touch anything.

Céline Remy 27:11
And so that you start to gather energy, you have to think of the woman as this slow water that takes a little time to boil. And as the masculine, you tend to be more like a fire that sparks really fast but doesn’t always last a distance. So the man has to learn from the woman to pace himself and himself so that he can be like burning for longer while the woman learns from the man to get the sparks going a little bit faster.

Kevin Anthony 27:37
Right. So number one did not start with her genitals. Number two started with other parts of her body like her shoulders, feet back, and some things advice of starting further away and working your way closer towards the genitals. And I want to make one more point about this.

Kevin Anthony 27:53
You know, we said here, don’t start with their genitals, but also don’t start with their breasts either, right. So don’t start with the two places you want to go to the most. Start somewhere else and work your way same advice applies to the breasts,

Céline Remy 28:09
then you want to focus on relieving her stress and getting her to drop into her body and out of her mind. Because for a woman, we tend to have this diffuse awareness, we think about multiple things at once. And it’s hard to get out of our head and feeling the body and the sensation is one way to help us there.

Céline Remy 28:28
So if you’re noticing that she’s not really present when you’re touching, or she’s still not relaxing, ask her to feel your hand to feel the heat, ask her to breathe, when you’re touching her, and just take a few deep breaths together, like see that as you’re doing this, you’re helping to melt the tension away because you can’t really get to an orgasm, if you really tend stop, like it just doesn’t work that you can get to those heightened state of pleasure.

Kevin Anthony 28:56
Yeah, this is the biggest thing for women. You know, my personal experience, as well as you know, working with other people. But the biggest thing is getting a woman out of her head and getting her into her body. She’s just, you know, for whatever reason, she’s thinking about, you know, all the things she had to do for the kids and all the things she’s got to do tomorrow.

Kevin Anthony 29:16
And then all you know, there’s just so much going on there. That really the first step of any real successful lovemaking experience is to get her to relax enough to get out of her head and be able to focus on the sensations she’s feeling in her body.

Céline Remy 29:32
And even if she’s like, Oh, it’s okay, we can just keep moving, you know, trust me will make a huge difference. And just your watch. You’ll see once she finally starts to let go and it could be a little while but there will be a difference there. Then you want to be going to massage her breasts to open her heart.

Céline Remy 29:50
It will help to open her policy as well because there is a connection so you’ve started further from the body, working on her feet, work on her neck or shoulder I mean, everyone loves these areas, it holds so much tension, and then make your way to her breasts don’t need dough, like you’re not making bread like this, like a circle around the breast. I mean, we could do an entire show on how to really massage a woman’s breasts.

Kevin Anthony 30:18
Because how many times have we seen some guy? Okay, so now it’s your turn. I want you to gently massage her breast

Céline Remy 30:26
and pinch the nipples or squeeze days and like, ah, please, like separate like don’t even touch in the fall for a while like there’s a whole like breasts in itself. There’s the side of her body. When you’re massaging her back. You could go slide to the side like this and just to the side of her breasts,

Kevin Anthony 30:46
breasts are not one of those grip strength balls you’re supposed to be. Right, like gently.

Céline Remy 30:54
Circles work weld circles around the areola, you don’t have a pinching the nipples is not really our most favorite. Oh,

Kevin Anthony 31:03
yeah, this is I think, guys get this from porn movies. Yeah, the whole like, you know, either pinching or pulling hard on the nipples. Alright guys, first of all, there are only certain times during her cycle where she will like that. There are times where she does

Céline Remy 31:18
because not every woman does. That’s true.

Kevin Anthony 31:20
Not every woman does. And even if she does, it’s only going to be during a certain time in her cycle when she’s really in the mood for that. And not only that, even if she’s in that time of her cycle, it’s probably not going to be until she’s good in the warm-up. So basically, just don’t do it unless she’s like, grabbed my nipples, which she might say every once in a while some

Céline Remy 31:42
the woman so thanks. And when it works, you know and they can happen. Alright, our next step is to take your time and don’t rush to her genitals. But once you are there, take your time. Like it’s not about going inside, work on the outside workaround on the mons pubis on this the inner thighs on the labia,

Kevin Anthony 32:02
you’re getting to the genitals does it mean penetration? No. So guys get down there on this journey. Boom, I’m right in there. Do you know? It’s like, Oh, God. There’s so much more.

Céline Remy 32:15
Yeah, wanna see a difference in the coloration of her labia? In the encouragement, you want to get her to a place where her Libya’s in her pussy is like throbbing before you ever go inside? Yeah,

Kevin Anthony 32:29
you know, we did a whole show on the clearest and the female anatomy. And we showed our little 3d model. If you want to know why you shouldn’t just go straight for the penetration and why you should work on the outer areas and what specific areas go back and watch that because when you understand the anatomy, you go, Oh, Okay, I get it. I understand why I should be doing that.

Céline Remy 32:52
And last but not least, don’t be afraid to ask her what she likes or wants at that moment, is again, a fine line between being a guy who is over asking because that’s a massive turnoff to said, Okay, can I touch you? Can I do this? How about that? No, that’s not gonna work. But things like, oh, has this pressure.

Céline Remy 33:11
Do you want more? How can I? What can I do that would bring you even more pleasure. You see, that is much more exciting. And of course, you don’t want to ask this every two seconds, Ivor. But that’s where it goes. You’re still taking charge, but you are listening and paying attention.

Kevin Anthony 33:26
Absolutely. So okay, so that’s everything that we had on our list for things that are more specific to women. So now we’re going to switch and talk about things that are more specific to men with a very shortlist. Go straight for his genitals. That’s it. Thanks, everybody. That’s all we have. No, just kidding.

Céline Remy 33:46
Just kidding, but not quite. So before you go, like that’s not true. I don’t want her to start with my genitals. I love when she touched me in other places. We start with the genitals or get to it early. And the reason why is that most men will. Basically, if you start touching them, all that happens in their mind is what are you going to touch me down there? When is it going to get to touch my god?

Kevin Anthony 34:12
What is she gonna touch? Where is she gonna talk? Oh, that was close. But she didn’t quite do it.

Céline Remy 34:19
If you get there, just hold it for a minute and be like, Hey, I am here’s my head and we’re making contact and he can go like, Ah, okay, she’s gonna get my attention that can relax.

Kevin Anthony 34:30
Especially if this is a new relationship and you haven’t really gone there yet. You’re like, is she going to touch my dog? Oh, she came through I don’t know what’s going on. So you could just touch it right from the beginning to let him know that yes, you are okay with doing that but you’ll be back again in a little bit.

Céline Remy 34:47
I’m really laughing because I’m thinking if you’re in a new relationship and he’s starting to touch you and you know the woman and what you’re thinking as well. Don’t go there too soon. Take your time. tease me a little bit. Oh yeah. Read my panties, but don’t touching me just a bit No, no just yet.

Céline Remy 35:04
Again, remember what Kevin was saying earlier, but don’t touch the way you want to be touched this is whereas men and women, it makes a difference between us women, we would like to be teased and the energy brought towards the genitals. And while you still like to be teased as a man, you like to be able to know that we go to the bull’s eyes, aka you clock right away.

Céline Remy 35:24
And then we can start teasing you from that place. And this is kind of leading us to step number two, which is to spread the energy towards the other body part. So one of the things too, that I think are essential in the central massage is the idea that to help a man to start to feel more and feel beyond his penis, and so when you give his penis attention, and they say,

Céline Remy 35:49
I’m going to do like two and three together, that’s where they’ll get together because it’s about keeping your hand on his cock as much as you can, while you work on our body parts. So you mean that if you’re working on his back, and he’s laying on his belly, you can always grab his testicles or, like kind of even reach underneath and hold his penis.

Céline Remy 36:07
And Kevin’s like thinking about the memory, don’t think too hard given hand, you need a little readjustment here. Okay, so one hand on the cock, and the other hand can be massaging the back, if the man is on his back, he can have one hand on his guard and massage his thighs, his belly, like other parts.

Céline Remy 36:33
So you starting to teach him to connect and to use that sexual energy in the sensations in his genitals to awaken the other part of the body. Because remember, one of the reasons you want to do essential massage is to feel turned on from the inside out and, and now live with every inch of your body.

Kevin Anthony 36:55
Whoo. Yeah. All right, let’s see what’s next on the list. Number four, work on areas of tension. Yeah, we do like that, you know, as guys, we need to relax too. It’s really helpful. You know, especially if we know that we’re probably going to be on top and like, in this position, using our muscles the entire time. Yeah,

Céline Remy 37:20
you know, well, and also, tension equals ejaculation. So if you want him to last, to be able to go the distance, you want to remove some of the chronic tension, so that he’s not just bringing himself over the edge, because there’s so much tension in the body.

Kevin Anthony 37:36
Yeah, absolutely. Number five, help him connect with his heart. You know, this is actually this is a big one. And I actually wanted to add something on number two, too, but we’ll see if we get back to that or not because they’re, they’re somewhat related, but help him connect with his heart, which is, you know, a lot of guys are like, oh, I’m totally connected with my heart, like I 100%. I live from the heart.

Kevin Anthony 38:03
Oh, shit. So I mean, some men do. Some men spend too much time in their hearts. And then they’re just these big softies all the time that are really unattractive to women. But the thing is, is that a lot of times, again, when we watch, you know, a male client, or you know, even a woman client giving to a male client, you can feel that the heart just isn’t there.

Kevin Anthony 38:28
And that makes a huge, huge difference. You could do the simplest technique like it’s, I don’t just like the simplest little massage thing, but if your heart is really in it, that’s amazing.

Kevin Anthony 38:41
And so, so the trick with, if you’re a woman, giving a massage to a man is one to be in your heart while you’re doing it, but to try to help him connect with his heart, help him open up through that massage because if he’s able to do that, you’re gonna have a way better lovemaking afterward.

Céline Remy 39:00
Well, and that’s always one of the things that a lot of women crave is intimacy. And there’s that joke that to get a man like, basically, to have sex with a woman, you have to tell her, you love her. And then she opens her legs, and then for a man to tell you, he loves you, you have to go to his sex, and then he’ll say, He loves you. Right? You have to give him sex. It’s kind of the idea behind that.

Céline Remy 39:23
But well, you know, it’s a generality doesn’t always work and blah, blah, blah. There is some truth about the fact that I think it’s easier for us women to experience multiple waves of pleasure to not always have an orgasm, to be more connected to our heart because that’s how the energy flows more naturally for us.

Céline Remy 39:43
And so we can teach our men to get there because it’s something that’s beneficial for them when they can access those deeper places of vulnerability and intimacy with you. And the way through a man’s heart is through his penis ever really. So

Kevin Anthony 40:00
yeah, so now Now I’m going to just very quickly bring in that little part where I talked to you is kind of similar to number two. So number two was spread the energy towards other body parts and, and number five is help him connect with his heart. And, you know, if we kind of go into the more esoteric realms of things like chakra is right energy centers through your body, helping him open the heart.

Kevin Anthony 40:20
To do that, you’ve got to open all of the chakras between the genitals and at least to the heart, and why that’s so amazing. And so if you can help him move that energy through all those places, is one of the main reasons men have difficulty controlling their ejaculation is because the chakras are totally shut down, the energy doesn’t move anywhere at all stay stuck in those first and second chakras until it explodes out into an ejaculation.

Kevin Anthony 40:45
So if you can help him move that energy, and get it up, and move it through the heart, and potentially all the way up through all seven, and maybe even into the 12 range, who knows, but it can really have a profound impact, not only on his experience but also his ability to really last and perform and take you where you want to go.

Céline Remy 41:08
Very good, very good information there, Kevin. Last but not least, take him on waves getting him close and backing down, not going over his edge. The biggest mistake is to be focused on that destination having to go there making him come in essential massage is just a bad lingering into these heightened states of pleasures without having to go anywhere and teaching him to be okay to be on these waves and same for you.

Céline Remy 41:36
So we matter of fact, one of the practices we teach our clients is to end with him still throbbing hard, without having an ejaculation every single time. And again, this is where we’re at the end of today’s show, we’re not going to dive into that we’ll probably do another show on that at some point.

Céline Remy 41:53
And we’ve talked about separating the dilation and orgasms in other shows, so we can go back to that. But the idea here is really all about going beyond just the physical reflexes, bypassing the addiction to the ejaculation, and starting to length them how much more pleasure you can have. And with that withstand in your body.

Kevin Anthony 42:14
Yeah, and this one, just real quick. This one is, you know, on the list for the men, but not for the women because the women will naturally go through those. I’m getting close, kind of slipped away from me, you don’t have to do that for her. You just take her on a constant journey, she’ll naturally go through the waves of ups and downs and close to orgasm, and then far away and then close again.

Kevin Anthony 42:38
And that’ll just happen. But for men, they basically it’s more of a linear like getting closer, closer, closer, closer. So it’s really great if you can kind of take them on that same roller coaster because it’ll build, build, build, build higher and higher and higher and they’ll get to experience more pleasure before they blast off.

Céline Remy 42:56
Well, Kevin, what do you say? Shall we go keep our hands busy?

Kevin Anthony 42:59
Yes, we should. All right, everybody. That’s all the time we have for this episode. And we will see you next week. We hope you like this episode of the love lab podcast. If you enjoy this show, subscribe. leave us a review and share it with your friends.

Céline Remy 43:18
And for more free exclusive content. Join us in the passion vault at kevinanthonycoaching.com/vault.

Kevin Anthony 43:32
Thanks for listening.

Céline Remy 43:33
And remember, you’re amazing