How To Make A Long Distance Relationship Work

Kevin Anthony 0:11
Welcome to the love lab podcast a safe place to get real about sex. Whether you’re a man or woman, single or couple, this is the show for you.

Céline Remy 0:20
We are your hosts, Kevin Anthony and Celine Remy. And we are here to guide you to go from good to amazing in the bedroom and beyond.

Kevin Anthony 0:28
Alright, welcome back to the love lab podcast. This is Episode 164. And it is titled How to make a long-distance relationship work. So this episode is actually inspired by some friends of ours who are currently in a long-distance relationship. And you know, a lot of times on this show, the things we talk about are either inspired by our life, our friend’s lives, or client’s lives.

Kevin Anthony 0:56
That’s where a lot of the material comes from for this show. So in this case, we have some friends who are telling us about one of the trips that they made to see each other because they’re currently going through a long-distance relationship. And it was reminding me of a long-distance relationship I had when I was much, much younger.

Kevin Anthony 1:17
Back when I was in college, I had a girlfriend who was also in college, but we were in different colleges in different states. And we did that for a while. And it’s just kind of bringing back some of those nerves like, Oh, yeah, I remember that driving back and forth. And what did we do and technology was different back then than it is now.

Kevin Anthony 1:34
So we thought it would be kind of interesting because a lot of people, especially these days with lockdowns, and restrictions, and different things going on, people are forced to have relationships in different places. So we are going to talk about what do we really mean by long-distance relationships?

Kevin Anthony 1:51
Because kind of a broad term, we’re going to talk about why would somebody want to do this, we’re going to give you a great list of ways that you can make it work successfully. And even someones you may not realize even exist.

Céline Remy 2:07
So a guaranteed to take your long-distance relationship to the next level.

Kevin Anthony 2:12
Yeah, and let me say this, too, that some of these things, even if you’re not in a long-distance relationship, you could still use, like, let’s just say you don’t actually live together, you know, maybe you live down the street or in a different town or within a reasonable drive, some of these things would still apply to that.

Céline Remy 2:31
Absolutely. And even if you are in an not long-distance relationship, but you want to create something different, or you know, bring in something new, that could work too,

Kevin Anthony 2:44
you could role play that it’s a long-distance relationship.

Céline Remy 2:50
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Kevin Anthony 3:16
All right, so let’s start by talking about what do we mean by long-distance relationship because there’s long-distance, and then there’s long distance. So first, I want to say what we don’t mean is, like 30 minutes away. Right? You know, like I dated somebody who lives closer to the city where we live like downtown San Diego proper.

Kevin Anthony 3:41
And, you know, I’m up in the North County, and, you know, at rush hour, it can seem like it’s a long-distance relationship. Southern California traffic is brutal. But that’s not what we’re talking about here. If you can get in the car and be there within an hour, it’s not really a long-distance relationship.

Céline Remy 4:01
So if you’re a few hours drive away, that would be a long-distance relationship. You could be in a different state, and you know, just a few 567 hours away when you are in this type of relationship. And that’s where our friends are, it’s easier to see each other like you kind of can aim for maybe twice a month. That’s really awesome if you get to see each other.

Céline Remy 4:27
We will talk about strategies in a little bit. But just to give you an idea, because it is different. When you are within a drivable distance you don’t rely on very expensive travels or miles right now there are still some regulations on who can travel and where which can be in the way because maybe you are a plane flight away which you can just drive so easily.

Céline Remy 4:54
Maybe that’s something that you guys can manage and see each other every two or three months. Because you can hop on a plane or take a really long trip, that’s another strategy. Or you could be continents apart, which makes it so much more difficult when you are continents apart. You know, there are different strategies where some people do it where they see each other maybe two or three times a year.

Céline Remy 5:20
Some people do it only once, but they make it much longer for like a whole month for a month and a half, like they basically come, they compound all of their vacation times and just make it that they spend this entire time together. There’s a lot of different strategies.

Céline Remy 5:35
But all of these are different ways that they are all long-distance relationships, but they will behave differently. Because if you can drive versus if you’re on different continents, it will be different, right? So

Kevin Anthony 5:48
some of the strategies that you would employ to have a successful long-distance relationship will depend on how far that distance is, you know, can you drive there? Do you have to fly there? Do you have to cross international borders, that sort of thing? So that’s kind of why we wanted to define it.

Kevin Anthony 6:06
Because when we get into the different things that you can do to have a successful long-distance relationship, you’ll start to realize, well, that doesn’t really apply to me, or that one does. And these are some of the reasons why. Because of the distance, the amount of distance is important.

Céline Remy 6:20
You might be wondering, why would anyone want to do a long-distance relationship? Because let’s face it, they’re hard.

Kevin Anthony 6:27
They are hard that they are there, you know, it’s, yeah, I mean, we’re gonna get into a list of reasons why people might want to do it. So there are legit reasons for it. But just know that you are definitely creating a challenge for yourself and your partner.

Céline Remy 6:43
But if the person’s worth it, then it’s worth it. There are a lot of people who have had a successful long-distance relationships and, you know, waited several years and are now family living together or married. And all of this, and there are also a lot of people who don’t make it, it’s just the game, right?

Kevin Anthony 7:04
But so that’s why number one on the list is when you know, it’s the right person, you just know, and you’re willing to do what you have to do. So, you know, people meet each other all over the place. Nowadays, they’re visiting a foreign country, or they’re at a conference somewhere or they, they’re just taking a vacation, and they meet somebody, and you’re like, Oh my god, this is my person, right?

Kevin Anthony 7:24
Like it happens. It does not just movies. Now, we know several people that that’s happened to including our friends that we mentioned at the beginning of the show, they just happened to meet out of state, and we’re like, Wow,

Céline Remy 7:37
she was holding a workshop there. And then somehow they met I guess, maybe when she went and ate out or something like that.

Kevin Anthony 7:44
I don’t remember the exact details. But yeah, that’s how it goes sometimes, right. And then you’re just like, Whoa, this person’s amazing. This is the person that I’ve been looking for all this time. And I

Céline Remy 7:54
think there was something about it. Because nowadays with the apps as dating apps, you can block it and be like I only wanted within the region you are. And I believe what happened with her is when she went to a different state, she adjusted it to the state she was in and it showed her a match that would not have showed up while she was in her home states

Kevin Anthony 8:18
exactly something like that. And well, that’s actually a really good point is that if you’re using dating-type apps and stuff, you can really expand the range of possibilities, as opposed to meeting people the old-fashioned way, just which is within your circles that you travel.

Céline Remy 8:35
Absolutely. And every reason, why you would want to do a long-distance relationship, is because he can’t move your kids, you know, for a few years, that most of the time happens when people have divorced. And there are some things within the divorce papers where it’s like he can’t move more than x miles away, or you have to stay within the boundaries of that particular state. And there are restrictions.

Kevin Anthony 9:00
This is very common is a very common scenario nowadays. And it’s not even just states or countries. I mean, even within the current county that you live, sometimes you’re restricted being you know, if you live in a really big County, like, you know, we live in San Diego County, it’s huge. It’s bigger than some countries. It really is.

Kevin Anthony 9:23
And, you know, there I’ve we know, people who’ve had restrictions, like you can’t move out to the east part of the county because it’s too far. Right. So yeah, that’s a very common scenario and one that we see a lot. And that’s actually the one that our friends are experiencing as well, which is that you know, they have kids and they need to go through the correct legal process to move them and that takes time.

Kevin Anthony 9:48
So they are willing to do the long-distance relationship until they can get that squared, right. But we will talk way more about that stuff when we get into the list of how to make it work.

Céline Remy 10:00
Well, sometimes you just can’t just change your job right away, you know, there are situations where you tied to the job or for that’s just how it is. Or maybe you have to be away at school or training, there’s an amazing opportunity, and you have to be away for a year or doing something. I know

Kevin Anthony 10:18
a lot of people that just to get back to the job thing again, you know, a lot of people will say, well, it’s just a job, like, just go find a job in another place. But there are jobs that are very specific to regions. Right. So if you really want to work in the financial district, and you want to work on Wall Street, you got to be in the northeast, you got to be in New York, right? So, you know, if you want to be your goal in life is to be an actress or, or a singer?

Kevin Anthony 10:51
Well, you’re going to be in LA or Southern California somewhere, right? So, you know, there are reasons why jobs can, can do that. Maybe the position is a very high-level position. And even though there may be other high-level positions in other places, you know, it’s too good of a job to just be like, okay, that here, right? Like, there are tons of reasons. School, you mentioned school, that’s another good one. I mean, you need to go to a specific school, because that’s where the program is that you want to do, right? So.

Céline Remy 11:23
And maybe some face our citizenship restrictions that are in the way I know, when I came to the country, I was only able to stay for three months. And then I had to leave or get married so that I could stay. And then there’s a lot of things when you come and you’re foreigners, and you have specific types of visas, you can’t work. And that makes it really hard.

Céline Remy 11:49
And when somebody has to sponsors, you sponsor you. And it’s usually a process that takes a year or so a year and a half before you can have either a green card or get the other type of visa that allows you to work and not everybody can find somebody to sponsor them was like, yeah, you can just sit out, like, I’ll pay for all your expenses. You know, it’s like, it’s, it’s a lot. So for some people, they just can’t make it happen like that.

Kevin Anthony 12:15
Yeah. And you know, I just thought of another one that’s not actually on our list, which happens to some friends of ours. But we had a friend who was traveling, she was only supposed to be gone for a few weeks. And then COVID hits, and the entire world shuts down. And she gets stuck in a foreign country for like six months, I think she was stuck there four to six months, something like that.

Kevin Anthony 12:40
She had a relationship, she had a partner back here at home in the US, and they had to make it work until she could actually get out of the country she was in which was not an easy thing to do. So you never know. In this world, like some of you are probably listening and thinking I would never do that. Like Yeah, uh-huh. Right. Until your partner’s like, I’m gonna go visit my family on the east coast and then the world shuts down.

Céline Remy 13:06
Yeah, now after 2020 we know like, anything can happen. Thank you both can happen. No. What do you think I was curious too because there are a lot of people nowadays because everything is so online and remote. Like a lot of young people now are dating, they playing video games, they are on these things, and they meet people. And then they get into this relationship.

Céline Remy 13:28
And sometimes like I have a boyfriend over there. I have a girlfriend there. But they’ve never met. And I think it’s a very different situation where you kind of have this like, I wasn’t say fictional, but it’s not a real but you kind of you’ve created this reality of this who this person is, but you’ve never met them. And you might have been together for like two years.

Kevin Anthony 13:52
Before? Yeah, I’ve seen this several times. I, you know, I talk a lot about martial arts. And I teach martial arts also, just for fun on the side. And I had a student, a 16-year-old student who met a girl online gaming, who was on the east coast. He’s here on the west coast. And they did the long-distance dating thing for quite a while.

Kevin Anthony 14:12
They were young. So it was harder for them. They kept trying to convince their parents to let them meet. And that was not such an easy thing to do. But yeah, that actual scenario happens. It is not just with kids, there’s a lot of adult gamers who end up in that situation as well.

Céline Remy 14:27
What I’m curious about is, do you think that a relationship where you haven’t met can be as successful as a relationship where you’ve had at least a chance to meet physically, maybe you’ve been able to have like, intimacy deeper like even like lovemaking? Because I find it hard to imagine that you could dedicate yourself to someone who you haven’t had sex with basically.

Kevin Anthony 14:54
Well, you know, I don’t know that dedicate forever but, you know, they see they You get to physically see each other. So they know what they look like. So yeah, great, you’ve got that part,

Céline Remy 15:04
but they don’t know what they smell like.

Kevin Anthony 15:07
It’s very important for women. Yes, that’s true. I mean, like, you’re not gonna know everything, that’s for sure. But you can definitely see somebody, you know what they look like. And if you talk enough, you can really start to get to know who a person is that you know, there are no guarantees in anything.

Kevin Anthony 15:26
Even if you meet in person, I mean, how many people that we know that date for a year or two years, or three years, and then go, I don’t even know who this person is. Right? I know that is true, that happens,

Céline Remy 15:39
what we’re going to get into ways to make it work successfully. But before that, we have a special invitation to all the couples listening, if you are committed couples who are stuck in a rut and going through the daily motions, instead of connecting the way you used to you tired of steel, mechanical sex of like spontaneity and fun, and you don’t want to live a life of average.

Céline Remy 16:00
Then Kevin, and I would like to invite you to join our highly sexed power couple Platinum program. If you give us 90 days, we will help you bring the passion back between the sheets and be synched up sexually so that you can thrive with more purpose and passion in life. Go to selling remy.com forward slash passion to find more about our program, our highly sex power couple Platinum program. Oh,

Kevin Anthony 16:25
yeah. And you know, if you’re not here in Southern California doesn’t matter, we can help you remotely, just like you can have long-distance relationships, you can have long-distance coaches, oh, yeah, actually works quite well.

Céline Remy 16:38
So let’s look at how to make this work successfully. Because we’ve established that they are, every relationship is unique, even a long-distance relationship, long-distance relationship is not, they’re not all the same, and your unique scenario will have to be adjusted. But there are some foundations and some pieces that need to be into place for it to be very successful.

Céline Remy 17:02
And number one is to have some good clarity and making sure that you are both committed to the process, and that you agree on maybe how long you’re willing to do it. And what the relationship is like putting maybe some definition, are you calling each other boyfriend, girlfriend partners?

Céline Remy 17:24
Are you exclusive? Are you dating other people on the side? Like, you have to create the boundaries and the structure maybe rather than boundaries, the structure of your relationship and the foundation of the relationship that you’re going to cultivate?

Kevin Anthony 17:39
Yeah, and you know, this is a little different than a regular relationship, in a sense that most people don’t start planning for the future when they first start dating. They don’t you know, they’re just like, well, we’ll see how this goes, we’re getting to know each other, you know, that. Maybe that’s a little different for women.

Kevin Anthony 17:58
Because I know what something’s thinking right now. She’s thinking like, oh, when you know, you’re already thinking about marriage, and babies and all of that, you know, that might happen for women. But for men, not so much. We’re kind of taking it day by day, and we’re not so much thinking about the future in the beginning.

Kevin Anthony 18:14
So in this particular instance, when you’re in long-distance relationship, you actually need to think about that right away. Because you’ve got this distance, you guys are thinking, Okay, well, when will we be able to see each other? How will we be able to see each other? Like, how long are we willing to do this. So you really have to sit down and talk about all that stuff. And you got to map it all out.

Céline Remy 18:39
You want to create a clear plan on how you will close the gap and actively pursue it because it’s easy, per se, to be in a relationship where you like it’s intangible, but you have to make some concrete, solid plans to where it’s like we got to bring it from the online long distance to like sometimes the in person because that’s also how you know if that relationship is really going to be working.

Kevin Anthony 19:09
Yeah, I imagine there could be some scenarios where people are just happy to be long-distance the whole time. Definitely not the norm, though. So before you comment and say, but why? Yeah, there are exceptions to everything, right? In general, most people who are in long-distance relationships actually intend to close the gap.

Céline Remy 19:30
And one of the scenarios to where it’s like, okay, so if you have them if it’s the kids, and it’s like, okay, we have x more years before the kids are old enough, and when that happens, we can do that. Or maybe it’s like, Okay, I’m gonna quit my job. And when that happens, I moved there. And the thing is, I think it’s important to plan for the worst, and also, but expect the best.

Céline Remy 19:53
So you could have the scenarios Okay, what if the court says no, what if this happens or what if the job doesn’t work? Whatever that is, what do we do in that worst-case scenario so that you have something to fall on. But what do we really hope happens and put our energy towards that scenario as well?

Kevin Anthony 20:14
Absolutely. So So the first one was making sure that you’re both committed to the process. The second one is to create a clear plan on how you’re going to close that gap. This is where a lot of people fall short. They intend to do it, they say they want to do it.

Kevin Anthony 20:33
But they don’t make a clear plan on like, okay, here’s what we’re going to do, I’m going to go to the court and talk to them and schedule this, you’re going to go to your boss and do this, we’re going to look online in this area, maybe for a place where we can both live to get I’m gonna

Céline Remy 20:49
save X amount

Kevin Anthony 20:50
of money, save X amount of money, right? Like, you have to very seriously create a plan. And here’s step two here, in this one, which is you actually have to stick to it, you have to do it, right. This is another place where people fall short, they say, Okay, yeah, I’ll do that. And then weeks go by, oh, yeah, I still have to haven’t gotten around to that yet, right.

Kevin Anthony 21:18
So you have to create a clear plan, and then you have to stick with it, you have to actually follow the plan that you’ve created. Now, that doesn’t mean that things won’t change, right, you’ll run into obstacles, and you’ll have to create new plans and do them. But you have to demonstrate that you’re actively working on trying to achieve the goal that you have both here in step one committed to

Céline Remy 21:43
The next step is that it’s really important to be patient, and ready to work overcome the obstacles as a team. And we’ll talk more about the team later. But again, it’s not me against you, it’s asked together against the world.

Kevin Anthony 21:59
Yeah, so you know, in the beginning, when you’re making sure that you’re committed to the process, and you’re formulating your plan, you should be able to create some somewhat realistic timeframes, you know, how long school will take, right? If you’re in school, you know, how much longer you have before the kids are on their own.

Kevin Anthony 22:20
You have a reasonable idea of how long it takes to get through the court system, right? There’s precedent, you can say, these types of cases usually take six months, or they take a year or whatever like you can, you can generally have a reasonable idea of how long that is going to take. And you want to do that, that way, you know, you feel more comfortable.

Kevin Anthony 22:41
In other words, if you have no idea how long it’s going to take, and you’re going through this process, and you’re a year into it, and you’re like, this is ridiculous, like I’m impatient. Make something move now. Right? You know, so you want to know reasonably what those timeframes are because it’s much easier to be patient. When you have a reasonable expectation,

Céline Remy 23:05
see the carrot over there, like a carrot at the end of the stick. And never really important quality is to develop your communication skills and also trusts. And if you’re very jealous, person priority, having a

Kevin Anthony 23:24
chip for you.

Céline Remy 23:27
But having the ability to talk about everything, you know, the the the happy things in life, the more difficult things and having the skills to mention, because there are times where you’re going to feel lonely, there are times where you will wish to lovers hands to be around you there are times you’ll be like, Oh, this is so hard, you know.

Céline Remy 23:46
And there are times where you’re like, this is awesome, I get time for myself, I can do all of these things. And I can still have a relationship. And this is great. But it’s important to be able to verbalize all of these different emotions that you go through.

Kevin Anthony 24:00
Yeah, yeah, for sure. And I would say, for most people in this scenario, they are going to have decided that they’re monogamous in some way. And it’s a lot harder to be monogamous when there’s a big distance in between you and you don’t know what the other person is up to from day to day, right? So you have to communicate a lot. And you also have to, you have to trust you have to make sure you’re with somebody that is trustworthy.

Céline Remy 24:36
You know, the other thing too, is to surround yourself with a team of people who support you or in your relationship because if you have a family who constantly tries to sabotage you and say bad things about the person you are aware of, tried to plant seeds of like distrust of like a bet this person’s cheating on you or things like that. This is not going to help so creating a support network is empowering. as well.

Kevin Anthony 25:02
Yeah. And you might run into that. If the people around you don’t want you to move, you may not get the support from the friends and family that you’re hoping for, because they have their own agenda, which is they want you to stay put right where you are.

Céline Remy 25:16
Our next step is to not be afraid to think outside the box. Oh, I want to talk about this. But we’re going to talk more about the outside the box in a little bit and give you some really cool ideas on this. Do you think I should just jump into it? Right?

Kevin Anthony 25:32
No, well, I know what part you want to talk about. And we’ll save that for the end. But outside the box can mean a lot of different things outside the box can mean that you know, okay, well, you know, until we can be together, maybe our relationship is open and you’re allowed to date other people, that’s a possibility.

Céline Remy 25:51
It could be a lot of different things about what you do together, you know, you could be there so much of who is doing the research. And you know, some people play video games together. So they meet on that some people exercise together, some people meet every night for dinner, and they set up the table really nice, and then talk over dinner together,

Kevin Anthony 26:10
zoom calls, and, you know, it’s which is bringing a whole new level to the phone sex that you know, used to do before we had all this technology. But you got to think outside the box and think about ways that you can connect and make it work. Even though there’s distance,

Céline Remy 26:29
you want to be able to visit as frequently as possible. And we understand that depending on how much distance and where you are at with the world situation and your finances, it could not be possible to visit every month. So

Kevin Anthony 26:45
this is why at the beginning of the show, we made a distinction between how far away you are is it you know, a few-hour drive? Is it you know, a short plane ride to another state somewhere? Or if you’re in Europe and another country? Is it crossing international borders? Is it you know, are they on another continent.

Kevin Anthony 27:05
So, you know, when we say as frequently as possible, that’s really going to depend on how far away you are and what method of transportation you need to use to get there. You know, and other things to what your job is, you know, if you’re an entrepreneur, and you work from yourself, for yourself, and all you need is a laptop and an internet connection. And maybe the person’s a state away.

Kevin Anthony 27:30
But there’s a train that goes between the two, that’s really not that hard. You just get on a train and you do your workday. And when it’s over, you show up and you’re like, hey, here I am, right? You stay for a while, then you go back and you take care of whatever you need to take care of like, that’s not so hard. But yeah, what if they’re, you know, they’re in Europe, and you’re here in the US,

Céline Remy 27:52
and you work for somebody else, and you can take the vacations you want. So there are lots of things. Very important. Tip two is to talk as often as possible. But at the same time, you don’t want to over-communicate, there’s a balance, right? Because you don’t need to be so needy, exactly.

Kevin Anthony 28:11
Don’t be needing to know who the person is.

Céline Remy 28:14
But it’s the same if you’re in a relationship that’s not long-distance, you know?

Kevin Anthony 28:18
Well, and as we said, right, a lot of these things will apply to you. Even if you just live, you know, a few blocks away.

Céline Remy 28:28
The next step is to keep yourself healthy. And that part is so important. One of the beauties of a long-distance relationship is that it forces you to stay connected to yourself. Because sometimes when people get into a relationship, especially in the beginning, they forget about themselves, and they totally immerse themselves in the relationship.

Céline Remy 28:47
And all they do is just being with the other and there’s nothing about themselves that’s like independent, and they don’t cultivate that relationship with themselves. But when you are in a long-distance relationship, you still have that relationship with yourself.

Céline Remy 29:02
So keeping yourself healthy, eating well, sleeping well, exercising masturbating, things will keep you healthy. Because again, when you’re healthier, you’re less stressed and anxious, and you can deal with the difficulties of life much easier.

Kevin Anthony 29:19
Mm-hmm. All right. Next on the list is team mindsets, or as you wrote it here for us against the world mindset? You know, look, I think anytime that you’ve committed to being in a relationship with somebody, you need to have a team mindset. This is something you and I talk about all the time.

Kevin Anthony 29:38
We are a team, no matter what happens. And that’s really how this has to be true. You have to be committed to being a team like you’re both going to make this happen. Because if one person is doing all the work, and the other ones just kind of like not doing a whole lot. This is a terrible start to your relationship. And if you do manage somehow to close the gap, it’s probably not going to work. Well, long term,

Céline Remy 30:02
you won’t develop your senses because again, you like making a central experience in many different ways. So think outside the box, develop yourself. Talk, you see where we going over that time,

Kevin Anthony 30:19
right? If you can’t physically be there to touch each other, you can stimulate other parts of people’s bodies or their minds

Céline Remy 30:28
say that’s when dirty talking comes in really handy, right?

Kevin Anthony 30:32
Yeah, exactly. Visually, you can stimulate them, you’ve got all the technology, you’ve got, you know, you basically auditory stimulate them through your words, your sounds through visuals, you know, different things like that.

Céline Remy 30:47
And it can even be through their senses. Because you could you can send things surprises in slow mail, you can take email letters, presence, things that smell good. You could like literally ship a sweater that you’ve worn. I mean,

Kevin Anthony 31:03
lingerie.

Céline Remy 31:04
Well, I was thinking about the

Kevin Anthony 31:07
social show up on the next zoom call wearing the lingerie you sent it

Céline Remy 31:10
well, but do you remember when we didn’t live together, I had you wear a T-shirt, and then give it to me, so I could have it. And I would keep it underneath my pillow. And before I fell asleep, I would sniff it. So I would feel like you were still with me.

Kevin Anthony 31:23
That is so cute.

Céline Remy 31:30
Last but not least, we have two more but have realistic expectations. Because it’s important to not just have a fantasy relationship in your head, but have realistic expectations and make it fun.

Kevin Anthony 31:45
Exactly. Because it can be hard, it can be hard, you really want to be with somebody you know, maybe you’re even lonely. And you know, it can be difficult, especially if it’s going to be more than a few weeks or a few months. So you kind of make it fun. And the last thing on our list, because you know, this is the love lab podcast. And we do talk a lot about sex. The last thing on the list I think can really help keep it or make it fun.

Céline Remy 32:13
So things have changed a lot from when you were saying like when we were younger, our options were very limited. You could have fun sex on the corded phone,

Kevin Anthony 32:22
it was called a phone call. That was your option. You had a phone call, or you found a way to physically travel there. Those are your two letters. You can write

Céline Remy 32:32
letters A long time ago. But nowadays, sex stories have gone such a long way. So number one, now we have video chats, which makes it super mad, like super easy to see each other to play and be teasing each other and all of that. But multiple sex stories now offer options to have to be controlled via an app that can be used anywhere as long as you have an internet connection.

Céline Remy 33:00
And so it can make it really fun for long-distance relationships. And when you have a video chat, and before you go like oh well, but it’s all for her. But what’s in it for me as a guy. And some of them have an internal vibrator that can be paired with a blow job sleeve for an experience for both partners.

Céline Remy 33:20
But even if there’s no sleeves masturbation sleeve, so are the guy blowjob sleeves, the fact that somebody has the remote and everyone wear something I mean is really, really fun. I found this crazy sex store. It’s called the cowgirl. And this is an expensive toy that’s like $1,500. So I get it’s not for everyone. If you had 15 $100, you may want to spend it on the plane ticket rather. But anyway, I’m

Kevin Anthony 33:49
just saying, I’ve got enough for both

Céline Remy 33:51
Exactly. But this thing is like it’s a writable sex machine that can be controlled from anywhere in the world via an app again. So you can be really creative. And you know giving up control you can play with like masturbation. I know some people like no, I’m never going to do that online because I don’t know how private it is.

Céline Remy 34:15
You don’t have to show everything you can be listening, you know, or strangers the top part and as you don’t see the bottom part

Kevin Anthony 34:22
showing the expressions on your face.

Céline Remy 34:24
Exactly. But you can be very creative and it is possible to still have some good sex while you are not in the same room.

Kevin Anthony 34:35
Exactly. And that will definitely make it more fun and make the time you have to wait. Much more enjoyable and feel shorter.

Céline Remy 34:44
Yeah, and one of the things that’s fantastic about the long-distance relationship is that you spend so much time talking because that’s a great opportunity to talk about what do you like in bed? What do you want, what do you need and because that all of these things can be turned ons and by the time you meet you really know them?

Kevin Anthony 35:00
You know, we covered all of these things on how to make it work. And yet, we forgot the very one that our friends did that prompted us to actually create this show, which was they met somewhere in the middle. So they traveled, you know, they each travel from where they live to a place that is more sort of in the middle. So it’s easier, not so much of a travel burden for each one,

Céline Remy 35:26
and get a hotel room because well, like in their scenarios, they both have kids, which makes it much harder. But it’s easier to find somebody to watch your kids for a day or a night or a couple of nights.

Céline Remy 35:39
And so we were able to get to a hotel room, so you don’t look at, I still have laundry to do or things to do like you can get into a whole different environment and focus on each other. But that one is you right, Kevin was such a good solution to meet halfway, you don’t always have to go all the way to the other person’s location.

Kevin Anthony 35:59
Absolutely.

Céline Remy 36:01
You know, ultimately be patient, be willing to show up? No, it’s going to be difficult at times. But if the person is the right person, it’s worth it. stick to it, make plans have a compelling vision of the future of why you want to be together every day, take a step that gets you closer to being together.

Céline Remy 36:20
And then once you get together, just know that it might still be a little difficult because you’re so used to the long-distance and you have to get used to the notice that’s anymore,

Kevin Anthony 36:30
there will be a period of adjustments.

Céline Remy 36:33
Exactly.

Kevin Anthony 36:36
All right. Well, there you go. That’s all about long-distance relationships, why you might want to do them and how to make them work. So we hope that you got some valuable information. I would suggest that if you listen to this, and you’re not in a long, technically long-distance relationship that you still take some of these things and apply them to your current relationship if you don’t live together.

Kevin Anthony 37:02
All right, that’s all the time we have for this episode. So we will see you next week. We hope you like this episode of the love lab podcast. If you enjoy this show, subscribe. leave us a review and share it with your friends.

Céline Remy 37:20
And for more free exclusive content. Join us in the passion vault at kevinanthonycoaching.com/vault.

Kevin Anthony 37:34
Thanks for listening

Céline Remy 37:35
and remember you are amazing.