How Mindfulness Improves Your Sex Life

Kevin Anthony 0:11
Welcome to the love lab podcast a safe place to get real about sex. Whether you’re a man or woman, single or couple, this is the show for you.

Céline Remy 0:20
We are your hosts, Kevin Anthony and Celine Remy and we are here to guide you to go from good to amazing in the bedroom and beyond.

Kevin Anthony 0:28
All right, welcome back to the love lab podcast. This is Episode 127. And it’s titled How mindfulness improves your sex life. All right, before you tune out because you’re not interested in mindfulness.

Kevin Anthony 0:45
Please hear us out on this one. Because we are going to give you one of the secrets to mind-blowing fucking amazing, out of this world sex, it is a true secret to having great sex. And we are going to explain in this episode exactly how and why that is.

Céline Remy 1:09
But a great start, Kevin, you know, you just got asked to be ready to explicit within the first minute. So congratulations.

Kevin Anthony 1:16
Yes.

Céline Remy 1:18
Before we get started, let’s give a big shout out to our sponsor’s power and mastery. If you want to join the secret club of men who are great in bed, then check out power and mastery at powerandmastery.com, it is the most complete sexual mastery training for men.

Céline Remy 1:34
Whether you want to have harder erections last longer in the bedroom or increase your sexual skills. There is something for you at power and mastery.com. So now be honest and answer this. How often do you get caught in your mind during sex?

Kevin Anthony 1:57
I would say that if most people are honest, it would be every time.

Céline Remy 2:03
Now, how often do you, Kevin gets caught in your mind during sex?

Kevin Anthony 2:09
Hmm, that’s a good question. I won’t say never, because that’s basically impossible. But I would say rather infrequently. Actually, I’ve gotten really good over the years at once I decide like now is sex time.

Kevin Anthony 2:26
Like I really focus on what I’m doing. It doesn’t mean that things don’t creep in here or there. I mean, you know, it’s impossible to completely tame the monkey mind. But for the most part, I’m pretty good at it. But I will say that wasn’t always the case. What about you?

Céline Remy 2:43
I might be in the spotlight,

Kevin Anthony 2:45
The spotlight’s now on you.

Céline Remy 2:49
I’d say that. Often I start being caught up in my mind. And because we have enough, like longer sex, I get out of it. So I do believe that for us women because we have diffuse awareness, it works against us that we have more things in our head. And during sex, it’s harder to get out of like our thinking and multitasking thing.

Céline Remy 3:19
And that also, because of the way we wired sometimes just being aroused is not enough for sometimes we don’t feel the arousal, even though our bodies are turned down. So we think in our head that we’re not ready or not turned down while we are actually ready. So I do believe that if you know that about yourself as I do.

Céline Remy 3:41
It’s a discussion that Kevin and I have had in the past, you do help me and just being more present. And we don’t make it a big deal. We just know that’s how it is. And I know that if I give it 20 minutes, I’ll get over it.

Kevin Anthony 3:57
Yeah, and this is an important fact, we’re going to talk about that more later on in the show. But there really is a difference between men and women and how they tend to do things. Now, that doesn’t mean that women are not present. And men are always present that it does not mean that in any way. There are guys who are just as distracted or more distracted because and we’ll get to this later too.

Kevin Anthony 4:23
They’re stuck in fantasy in their minds, right? So they’re living out some fantasy in their head about the sex rather than being present for the actual sex that’s occurring. So we’re not trying to say that but there is a difference between men and women in that. In general, this is just a generalization. There are exceptions to everything. Men tend to be more task-oriented, focused on a specific thing women do tends to be a bit more diffuse and be able to multitask a whole bunch of things all at one time.

Kevin Anthony 4:55
This doesn’t mean that men can’t multitask and it doesn’t mean that women can’t focus or just get over it right now. If you’re if you think you’re going to type that in a comment, just save it, right? Give it to somebody else who will listen because we’re not going to. So these are just generalities about the way we tend to operate and how things can show up and manifest in your relationship.

Kevin Anthony 5:19
And in your sex. So in our sex life, the way that tends to show up is that yes, very often, when we decide to have sex, for probably the first 20 minutes, maybe even 30 minutes, maybe even 40 minutes. You’re there. It’s not that you’re not there with me, and you’re not present.

Kevin Anthony 5:39
But I can often tell that you’re not 100% there, you know. And then if we make love long enough, you definitely get there. And I, anything you’d like to add about that.

Céline Remy 5:56
There’s no pattern. Sometimes I get there sooner. Sometimes I’m already there. And sometimes I don’t. It’s really rare, though, that I actually don’t.

Kevin Anthony 6:08
Yeah, that’s that is pretty rare. And yeah, it’s a good point to make, that this isn’t something that happens every time. Sometimes you’re there. 100%, like right from the get-go. Yeah, but it does vary a little bit more.

Céline Remy 6:20
Absolutely. You know, the only reason that I’m sharing this too, is because I want every listener, especially our woman listeners to know that there’s nothing wrong with them, that they are normal, and that you having sometimes a hard time getting out of your head or feeling your arousal is not that uncommon and unusual.

Céline Remy 6:43
You simply need to know how to get around it to freely Enjoy your body and your sexuality more. And this is what we’re going to be sharing with you. So knowing that can take some of the pressure off. Also, I never put a time that it has to happen this amount of time, you know, because again, that wouldn’t be really mindfulness practice.

Kevin Anthony 7:08
Reminds me of that joke. The teacher told me to do an hour meditation, I nailed it in 40 minutes. We’re gonna get to that because we’re gonna give you a whole list of things that you can do to have more mindful sex, and also a list of things, benefits reasons why you really want to do this.

Céline Remy 7:26
Mm-hmm. So let’s talk about some studies here. Studies show that approximately half of all women experience some kind of sexual difficulty at one point in their lives, with either lack of interest in sex being by far one of the most common and the most distressing.

Céline Remy 7:45
And when sex suffers, so do all other areas of life. And I’m sure that you are familiar with that if if you’ve been through this, you know, your life can be great. But if your sex isn’t there, still this thing that sucks. And if your life sucks, but you have great sex, it gives you a more positive outlook on it.

Kevin Anthony 8:06
For sure. You know, and I want to say also, that, you know, so it says here that lack of interest in sex is by far the most common and the most distressing. And I’m going to say that I personally think that one of the main reasons why women lack interest in sex is because of the way that men approach sex with their women. And that that really has a lot to do with mindfulness and presence.

Kevin Anthony 8:33
What I mean by that. I think a lot of men approach sex as a purely physical thing, we’re rubbing genitals together, and I’m gonna get off. And basically, no matter what happens, that’s, that’s the practice of sex. Women need connection, they need to feel that deep connection.

Kevin Anthony 8:53
They don’t want to feel like oh, I’m just a hole that you’re using, or I’m just here to get you off or any of that. And so I think that the more mindful the more present a man can be with a woman, the more she will feel that and the more

Céline Remy 9:11
connection, she’ll feel, the more enjoyment she’ll feel, the more into sex she’s going to be. The less pressure there is put on her, the more she can just be who she is in that moment. So if you approach her thinking she has to come, she has to behave a certain way. And if she doesn’t, something’s wrong. The more pressure you put on her to orgasm, the less likely she gets there, or she can enjoy it.

Céline Remy 9:38
So it’s really important to drop that goal. And I know we talk a lot about this. If you’ve been listening to the love lab podcast, we talk a lot about dropping the edge and in all of this, but we got to bring this point home because that is the number one problem we see with the clients that we work with all the time. Yeah. So Kevin, tell us Do you think sex can be seen as a mindfulness practice? Let’s start with that.

Kevin Anthony 10:05
Okay, so what we’ve done is compiled a bunch of questions that people tend to ask about this. And that’s the first one is do you think sex can be seen as mindfulness practice?

Kevin Anthony 10:12
And absolutely, it can be, without a doubt. In fact, not only can it be seen as a mindfulness practice, but I think that if you’re not treating it as a mindfulness practice, then you’re not having the best sex that you could possibly have.

Céline Remy 10:28
Does. That’s a really good point you’re bringing there, Kevin, because I see that if you start seeing sex as a mindfulness practice, then you don’t get stuck so much in the sex is a routine or sex is no more interesting. It only becomes that way if you’ve made sex all about a particularly particular goal, and just make it about the excitement or the physical response rather than the experience.

Céline Remy 10:58
So that’s a really big reframe, for all of you listening today to see that, if you change how you view sex, which is all about your mind, then sex becomes better. And there was nothing else you had to do no trick, no Kama Sutra, you had to read no special cream or whatever to apply. You just had to think about sex differently.

Kevin Anthony 11:18
And this is why it’s a secret what I call a secret ingredient. Right? This is your word. Now talking about advanced level. lovemaking here, right. So you know, we often give tips and tricks, you know, we did a great episode on how to eat pussy like a pro. And there was great stuff in that.

Kevin Anthony 11:37
At the same time, this is the piece that’s going to take that eating pussy to the next level, or penetration to the next level, or even giving a massage to the next level. Right? This is the piece that so many women crave and want and know that they want, but don’t really know how to verbalize. In other words, they’re not going to say I want you to be more present, I want you to be more mindful during sex.

Kevin Anthony 12:03
They might maybe like it if they’re in the New Age community or something, and those words are part of their normal day today. But most women aren’t going to do that. But yet they still want it. They just don’t really know what it is that’s missing or how to ask for it. Mm-hmm.

Céline Remy 12:18
Absolutely, absolutely. So, and this is all the type of things that we work with our clients like that mindset piece, we spend a lot of time retraining, how people think about it. So I’m curious now that we’re starting to talk about mindfulness.

Céline Remy 12:35
Some of our listeners might be wondering, you know, what counts as a mindfulness practice, and this is your sex? Could it be other things? And can anything be considered as mindful? Like, where do we stand there?

Kevin Anthony 12:51
Great question. I would say that almost anything could be turned into a mindfulness practice well, okay, what does that mean? When we say mindfulness practice, what we really mean is that your mind isn’t thinking about anything other than what you’re doing in the present moment. That’s really the big key. Because if you really stop and think, and by that, I mean, like, monitor the thoughts that are going through your mind, you will realize that they are all over the place.

Kevin Anthony 13:21
And this is like, mindfulness meditation one on one, like you just somebody said, you’re gonna, you should learn mindfulness meditation, you have no idea what the fuck they’re talking about, and somebody is trying to help us, the first thing that they’re going to teach you is to just monitor just pay attention to the thoughts that are going through your head.

Kevin Anthony 13:42
When you do that, if you’ve never done it before, you will probably be absolutely astounded by how many stupid things go through your head. And even if they’re not stupid, you know, maybe they’re totally real and totally legit and good. There is crazy stuff going on.

Kevin Anthony 13:58
And it’s changing constantly, constantly, constantly causes constant flow. This is why Eastern spiritual traditions have called it the monkey mind because monkeys are mischievous. They’re all over the place. And they don’t seem to make sense a lot of the time, right? This is what your mind is doing on a regular basis. Most people have no idea because they’ve never really actually stopped to listen to what’s going on in their head.

Kevin Anthony 14:23
And so when we talk about mindfulness practice, step one to the practices, trying to calm that down, and to stop all the chatter that’s going on and focus on what you’re doing at that moment. That’s really how you reach mastery level or what people call flow state, in anything.

Céline Remy 14:44
So one point that you are bringing up here, Kevin is some people think when they start with meditation or mindfulness practices, they’re thinking I’ve got to stop thinking. Good luck with that. In order to be successful, my meditation has to have no thoughts. I have been meditating for many years, I was trying to do a quick,

Kevin Anthony 15:09
Too many to even count,

Céline Remy 15:10
yes, at least 15 years, and have had my daily practice for about eight or nine years now. And maybe later in this podcast, we’ll talk about some of the hilarious things that happened during one of my meditation training while I was in India, but I don’t know if I’ll have room for that. I’ll just put it out there.

Kevin Anthony 15:31
There’s always room for a good story.

Céline Remy 15:35
But the thing is, if you think that you’re going to have to not have any thoughts, in order to be successful with your meditation, you are setting yourself up for like failure. Basically, what I like to imagine is that your thoughts are like on a train. And rather than jumping on a train with every single thought, you allow the train to pass in front of you.

Céline Remy 15:55
So that doesn’t mean that there are no more thoughts. It just means you’re not attaching as much energy and attention to these and you’re allowing them to pass without affecting you the same. And that was probably the best analogy that I found over the years to help me with understanding that. And you know, our minds, they’re really crazy. So I’ll get to that quick story now.

Céline Remy 16:21
I was in India and I went to this center called Igatpuri and it’s like the world’s center for Vipassana meditation. And Vipassana is all about witnessing your breath going through your nose. And then just like it’s some silence meditations, you do 10 days in silence and stuff. So here I am, it’s my first one I’ve done. I’ve done two of those. So it was my first one. And I’m in India, I’m like one of the only Westerners. And we segregated men and women and you know, you don’t have mirrors, it’s you going inward.

Céline Remy 16:52
I’m like taking this on and like, going deep in my meditation and we like at the beginning, I’ve maybe a few days in and I’m like, this is it, I have reached enlightenment at this moment, and I’m just so proud of myself. So you know, 22-year-olds and pretentious and ego-centered that I’m there, you know, this is it.

Céline Remy 17:13
And just about, I don’t know, seconds within that far then comes the most excruciating pains in my body, forcing me to really feel what’s going on and just like bringing me rad back from that enlightenment plays into this like, really terrible, earthly experience. And at some point, you know, you sometimes can ask a few questions to your teacher if, in his silence, you can ask a few guidance points.

Céline Remy 17:43
My teacher kind of like, looks at me and kind of tells me something about like, how the illusion of the mind you know, the more you think that you there, the less likely you are there. And so that’s basically what I learned from that very first experience that the more you’re thinking you’re doing it right, the more you think, I’m so present, or I’m such a fucking great lover, you probably not there.

Kevin Anthony 18:06
Haha. Well, if you’re thinking in your mind while having sex, that you’re a great lover, then you’re not focusing on whatever that technique is you’re doing.

Céline Remy 18:16
So you know, really to sum it up anything can be a mindfulness practice, as long as it’s done with present wherever your presence, whether you cooking, cleaning, playing music, having sex, building something, taking a walk, I mean, taking the shit for that matter, right.

Kevin Anthony 18:32
Now, who’s getting us rated explicit.

Céline Remy 18:38
So anything that we do mindfully can be considered as a mindfulness practice. There’s no one right way to do that. And so before we go more into our different things about mindfulness and, and how to have more mindful sex, sex, so we want to talk to you about being in the zone because today we are talking about mindfulness and there are certain things sometimes that you can take to help you.

Céline Remy 19:05
So you know those times when you’re so into what you’re doing, and that you can’t think about anything else. The days when you’ve closed that big deal. You want the game you made love for hours, and you’ve checked everything off your list, animals afford less and just flowed. Well, how would you like to feel like that every day, I’m sure you would like that.

Céline Remy 19:25
Psychologists call that feeling of being in the zone flow state and it’s the optimal level of consciousness where you can perform at your best. Now you can use something called Alpha Brain to help you achieve a flow, state, and support other aspects of cognitive function for better memory, focus, and mental processing. Alpha brain can help you remember names and places focus on complex tasks, think more clearly under stress, and react more quickly.

Céline Remy 19:52
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Céline Remy 20:15
Use our coupon code lovelab at the checkout. And if you go to onnit.com, you’ll get 10% off and check out their product alpha brain to help you get in that flow state and in the mood.

Kevin Anthony 20:32
Yeah, you know, what’s really cool is we wrote this ad like a week ago, long before we decided to do this episode. And so it’s wonderful, how perfect it fits in with what we’re doing. And I just want to say to people that are listening, this isn’t just taking a caffeine supplement to get you all revved up and pretend that somehow you’re more focused.

Kevin Anthony 20:53
Some people do get more focused on caffeine and stuff, and other people just do more mistakes faster. I mean, seriously, these types of supplements are actually really great at helping your brain focus, I’ve used some of them myself, and they really do work.

Kevin Anthony 21:09
So if you really want to get into that flow state, something like this can really support that, it’s going to take a little work on your part to don’t think it’s a magic pill that suddenly you’re going to be in a perfect flow state, but it’s going to make that getting there a lot easier.

Céline Remy 21:21
Mm-hmm.

Kevin Anthony 21:22
Okay, let’s go back to what we were talking about.

Céline Remy 21:26
So then we talked about, we were talking about merging body and mind during sex, right? Because you need to switch off your brain during sex in order to merge your body and your mind. And you must reclaim your full attention to what’s happening to your body in that precise moment. And that is where mindfulness will help you.

Kevin Anthony 21:48
Okay, so then that brings us to the next question, which what are some things that we can do to have more mindful sex? Well, we wrote a list for you of things that we actually do and things that we tell our clients to do. So number one, focus on connection. So this is actually a really big one.

Kevin Anthony 22:10
Because, you know, we talked earlier in this episode about, hey, this isn’t just like a physical like, okay, we put a penis in a vagina, or we rub two vaginas together, or we put a penis and wherever, like, lots of combinations you get, they go. But the point is, it’s not just about that physical thing.

Kevin Anthony 22:29
So if you’re really going to have mindfulness with a partner, or even with yourself, you need to connect first. So you want to focus on that connection, like, Hey, this is a living, breathing human person that is here with me, I should focus on that person.

Céline Remy 22:49
And to help you focus, keep the lights on.

Kevin Anthony 22:53
I know this sounds so simple, but we’re still surprised in this day and age, how many people The only time they have sex is at night before bed with the lights off under the covers.

Céline Remy 23:02
It’s hard to connect that way, it’s hard to see what’s happening to and it’s hard to look into each other’s eyes, which is another point because if you get See, you just it’s not the same. It’s just yeah,

Kevin Anthony 23:15
and I’ll say this, too, that like we do occasionally make love with the lights off. Usually, if we’ve fallen asleep, or we’re trying to fall asleep. So we’ve turned the lights out, but we can’t sleep and we have this rule like, hey, if we can’t sleep, we’ll make love, you should try. But for the most part, we always do make love with the lights on it doesn’t matter what time of day it is, because it’s way easier to connect.

Kevin Anthony 23:39
And those few times that we do, I do find it a little bit more difficult to connect because I’m used to looking in your eyes when we make love. I’m used to looking at what’s happening with your body and paying attention to all these little signs about, you know, does she like this or how you know, all this kind of stuff.

Kevin Anthony 23:58
I can’t do any of that. Really, except with my dipstick. I could feel a lot through that, actually. But other than that, I miss all of that stuff. Right. And so then what I do in those situations is I try to imagine in my head, what my eyes would be seeing if the lights were on, right. So it’s sort of fantasy, but it’s a fantasy based on reality it’s like I’m imagining you beneath me and all of the stuff that I normally see.

Kevin Anthony 24:30
So I would caution especially men in a situation like that, not to fantasize about things external to the moment that that’s happening right then and there. And if you just keep the lights on, this can be way easier.

Céline Remy 24:46
Another thing is to focus on what you are doing at the moment and what we mean by that is focus on something specific that is happening and that will bring you back and make you fully present because the concept of practice is kind of difficult to explain. Again, as we talked about earlier, you think you’re present, you’re probably not present, you’re thinking in your head that you are so present.

Céline Remy 25:14
And so it’s all about like, focusing on something specific. If you’re not sure whether or not you’re aroused, focus on what feels good, focus on where you feel pleasure the most. It might surprise you, because it may not be in your genitals it may be somewhere else, and take a minute to either feel that arousal fill that pleasure-filled in love, these are three different points that you can focus on.

Céline Remy 25:41
And whatever you put your attention on tends to expand. So once you start to find that one little area where you have more sensation, or when you feel the love or where you feel the pleasure, then you can imagine and feel it into like growing and expanding. Oh,

Kevin Anthony 25:57
you know, you just started to get into some quantum physics there with probability waves. And when you focus on a specific probability, the wave collapses into a single point. Sorry for you, for you physics geeks, you will understand that if you didn’t understand that, go read some quantum physics. There’s actual science behind that the ones you focus on.

Céline Remy 26:21
We’re not just being whoo-whoo.

Céline Remy 26:26
Another one of my favorite tips is to pay attention to your five senses. And this is where most people go wrong is they on these days with what they usually do, and it’s only one or two of their senses. and for most guys is going to be visual, it’s going to be all about what they see.

Céline Remy 26:43
And remember, you’ve got more like, the attention to the smell, to the taste to the to hearing, you know, to the touch in itself to how the touch feels when you being touch. When you’re touching and so many different things, the sounds of her vagina, and the juices of your two genitalia is rubbing together. I mean, come on, there’s so much there.

Kevin Anthony 27:03
Oh, yeah, we need to wrap this show.

Céline Remy 27:08
Let me check what’s going on down there. I see my hand if you’re watching the video with the hand is definitely between Kevin’s legs. Indeed it is.

Kevin Anthony 27:18
Okay, oh, this is a good one that we tend to talk about a bit more when we’re discussing Tantra stuff but have moments of stillness. In your lovemaking, this is really great for connection and mindfulness. People think that you know, having sex means you’re going to be moving the entire time, like in and out, in and out, in and out, in and out. Right, the faster the better, right?

Kevin Anthony 27:40
There are amazing, super powerful energetic moments that happen during lovemaking when you’re just perfectly still

Céline Remy 27:50
Mm-hmm.

Kevin Anthony 27:51
Just the two of you connected, not moving at all, but feeling massive amounts of sexual energy flowing through your body. Mm-hmm.

Céline Remy 28:01
They need to try to make it past the 30 to 40 minutes mark to get to these places. And the minimum would be 20 minutes and two minutes usually is to get out of your head. That 30 to 40 minutes mark gets you into the zone that we were talking about earlier, and even sometimes 45 minutes. Unless you have the ability to go to the distance, you can’t make this happen. There are no shortcuts to that.

Kevin Anthony 28:26
Yeah. And you know, this time is gonna vary for everybody. These are just generalities. So you know, doing the work that we do, we’ve kind of figured out a range that we tend to see a lot of people in like this is it takes about this long.

Céline Remy 28:43
Well, and let’s be honest, I’m the geek to where I’m constantly looking at the clock, and like I bet it’s been 20 minutes. Oh, yeah, look at this. Okay, now here, something changed. How long have we been making love for it? Yes, that does happen.

Kevin Anthony 28:54
That’s why we got the love lab, we try all this stuff. We’re not just reading books and regurgitating. So yeah, and this is why being able to last longer, and if you’re a guy being able to separate your ejaculation, and your orgasm is so key, because, for so many women, it’s going to take them 20-30-40-45 minutes to really get out of their head, really relax into it.

Kevin Anthony 29:25
And then the orgasm starts to flow. Again and again. And again. If you can’t get to that point, she’s not going to get to that point.

Céline Remy 29:35
And last but not least, you want to drop the agenda and simply enjoy what is happening at the moment. It’s so important whenever you are making love here to being able to achieve those state of having more mindful sex. So why would you want to do that? What might the benefits and this mindful sex be?

Kevin Anthony 29:56
Alright, well, if you haven’t figured that out by this point in the show You may need to take some alpha brain, because we gave you a lot of good reasons why, but we’re going to summarize them now. So that you really get the point. First one, you will feel much more connected to your partner.

Kevin Anthony 30:14
Now for some guys, great whatever, this is a must for women, absolute mushroom, and I’m telling you guys, if you want to have a great relationship with your partner, you just you have to be connected, it’s a must.

Céline Remy 30:26
Number two, the intensity of your sex is increased. Do we need to explain that intensity increases? Like,

Kevin Anthony 30:34
yeah, it’s gonna be better sex is just going to be better sex with more intense waves of everything, from physical sensations to emotions, to love to everything.

Céline Remy 30:46
If you have one man, you’ll be able to relax more and access your orgasm easier and more quickly, too. I mean, not that it’s a goal, per se, but I do see it. Honestly, learning meditation was probably one of the best things I’ve ever done for my sex life, it did help me become more present, let go of the goal. And then once you start to understand how your body functions over time, it’s easier to hack it.

Kevin Anthony 31:11
I mean, this is huge. There are so so many women, whether they come in as couples, or they come in just as single women themselves. One of the big things that we see over and over and over again, is the inability to access their orgasm. And this is this will absolutely improve that.

Céline Remy 31:31
Hey, you partner, we want to have more to have sex more frequently.

Kevin Anthony 31:36
You give them better sex, they’re gonna want it more often. Simple as that.

Céline Remy 31:40
Yes. And here’s the thing for all the guys listening and the girls to your partner will see you as being better in bed. I mean, who doesn’t want to be the best in bed?

Kevin Anthony 31:52
Yeah, I mean, it definitely goes both ways. If a woman is really present in lovemaking guys gonna go Wow, she was great in bed for sure. And let me just say that, guys, if you want your woman to see you as like, a sex God, you’re going to have to master this skill. You just do.

Céline Remy 32:10
Yeah, absolutely. And if you don’t quite know after this episode, how to do it. Reach out to our work with us. We’ll be happy to help you get there. I want to share a quick study before the end of the show in case we still need to convince you a little bit more about why you should do it. There have been several pieces of research and studies that have been done and we just pulled one up right now.

Céline Remy 32:30
And it has proven that mindfulness leads to better sex. Don’t just trust us belief studies to this study from 2019, led by Chelom Leavitt, sorry, if I really did not say the words properly named well concluded that more sexually mindful individuals tended to have better self-esteem, to be more satisfied with their relationship, and particularly for the woman be more satisfied with their sex lives.

Kevin Anthony 32:55
Yeah, and the reason why we put this here is that, you know, we sit down and we write these episodes. And sometimes it’s super clear, we know exactly what we want to put in there. And other times, we’re like, okay, we have some rough ideas. But let’s do some research to kind of gel the idea a little bit more.

Kevin Anthony 33:10
In this case, we just wrote all those benefits without looking at a single thing anywhere else. And then we came across the study, and we went, Wow, this study says exactly what we just wrote down. How convenient.

Céline Remy 33:25
You know, if we’re going to leave you with one thing is that mindfulness requires practice, just because you’ve done it once doesn’t mean you never have to do it. Again, it’s a consistent practice, regular practice. And if you can start by using it in your daily life in small and seemingly unimportant tasks, little things, you know, maybe drop that phone and pay more attention when you on the next time on your walk.

Céline Remy 33:50
Or next time you’re working. Just pay attention to your cooking, you know, and what you’ll see is that you will start to prepare yourself for also being more mindful in sex because it doesn’t just go like oh, I can be not mindful in my life, the bedroom doors closed, I’m going to be mindful during sex. It’s every time you practice you practice more and it becomes part of who you are.

Céline Remy 34:14
And the more you’re able to be fully experienced and be present in the moment the more you can bring that in every area of your life. So start today start small do it often and regularly and it will creep into every area. Does that creepy?

Kevin Anthony 34:32
Not if it’s a good thing. All right, everybody. There you have it. If you can master this skill, you will instantly move up a few levels in the rankings of great lovers and you will experience a much more fulfilling and satisfying sex life. Who doesn’t want that? Alright, that’s all the time we have for this episode, and we will see you next week.

Kevin Anthony 35:01
We hope you like this episode of the love lab podcast. If you enjoy this show, subscribe, leave us a review and share it with your friends.

Céline Remy 35:09
And for more free exclusive content. Join us in the passion vault at kevinanthonycoaching.com/vault

Céline Remy 35:23
Thanks for listening, and remember, you’re amazing