How To Get More Oral Sex

Kevin Anthony 0:11
Welcome to the love lab podcast a safe place to get real about sex. Whether you’re a man or a woman, single or couple, this is the show for you.

Céline Remy 0:20
We are your hosts, Kevin Anthony, and Céline Remy and we are here to guide you to go from good to amazing in the bedroom and beyond.

Kevin Anthony 0:27
All right, welcome back to the love lab podcast. This is Episode 98. And it is how to get more oral sex. How many people want more oral sex? Raise your hand. You’re not raising your hands. I know you want more.

Céline Remy 0:44
I don’t know if I want more. I mean, I’ve got plenty. Do I really want more? Doesn’t everybody?

Céline Remy 0:51
Well, that’s a good topic today. So

Kevin Anthony 0:53
you’re very lucky then that you have your heart’s content of oral sex, but that’s not true. for everybody. So what we’re going to talk about today is how to actually get more oral sex and we’re going to split it up. And this can be something for both men and women here. So we’re going to talk about how men can encourage their women to give them more oral sex.

Kevin Anthony 1:14
We’re going to talk about how women can encourage their men to have to give more oral sex. So something for everyone we’re also going to talk about common mistakes that people make.

Céline Remy 1:25
Yeah, and also how to fix them obviously and we’ll leave you with some good studies and just you know, hope for getting more sex probably. So I’m really excited and so was Kevin to be truly honest as we were writing our show notes he was getting a boner and very like arouse It was like, shall we 69 before we get on the air, and yeah, we did it and it only has to do with the fact that I’m bleeding right now.

Céline Remy 1:53
You Totally forgot about this.

Kevin Anthony 1:54
Yeah we probably would have done it.

Céline Remy 1:56
We would have done it. It’s just not the best timing for 69 at this moment So anyway, a lot of very personal information here that we’re sharing with you, I hope you are enjoying it.

Céline Remy 2:07
Before we move on, let’s give a big shout out to our sponsor power and mastery because this is the best program for you if you are ready to join the secret club of men who are great in bed, and whenever you want to have harder erections last longer expand your sexual skills, and we’re not just talking about your oral skills, because it’s not all about your technique. There is something for you at power and mastery.com. So go check it out power and mastery calm.

Kevin Anthony 2:39
Okay, so this is actually gonna be really fun. One of the things that we think is unique to what Selena and I do is the fact that we can bring both the male and the female perspective. And so it was really cool when writing this is like, Okay, how to get him to go down on you. Or you know how to get most for me on that one was like, Okay, what would I want a woman to do to encourage me to give her oral sex?

Kevin Anthony 3:10
And then I just have to write it down. Right? So it’s like, it’s literally coming straight from a guy, like, what would a guy need? What would he want? Right? And the same thing for you when thinking about, you know, what would you need or want to do it? So I think that’s something really unique that we bring. And that’s why we decided to kind of break it down.

Kevin Anthony 3:27
So let’s start with how to get more blow jobs without having to ask so how does a guy do that? I know, every guy wants to figure this out. This is like, maybe not the holy grail, but it’s pretty close. Like, I don’t know a single guy that doesn’t want more blowjob.

Céline Remy 3:47
And I just realized that you raised both hands when you say who wants more overall, and I’m slightly offended because you’re getting a lot of blowjobs Are you telling me that you could get more

Kevin Anthony 4:00
Okay, let me just state for the record that you give me more oral sex than any partner I’ve ever had. So yes, I am very content much like you I’m very content with the amount of oral sex I get. And I’m a dude so I could always take a little more

Céline Remy 4:17
Your ideal world you would like to have a morning and evening blow job right? If you could have it all your way every single day.

Kevin Anthony 4:24
Yeah, and I’m, you know, I might even go for you know, it’s like, like breakfast, lunch and dinner kind of three meals a day, because, yeah, you know, after a busy morning of working and stuff, you know, sit down have a nice lunch and receive a great blowjob. I mean, yeah, why not?

Céline Remy 4:42
So, this whole idea about, okay, how can I get her to like blow jobs more, right? Because ultimately, that’s kind of what it comes down to is that she needs to want it and like it and she needs to like that. giving it to you because honestly, if she’s only like doing it to make you happy, you’re most likely not going to want that often because you know that it’s a chore and we’ll talk about that more in the mistakes.

Céline Remy 5:11
But the very first place to start is to look at yourself and your hygiene. And as you grooming habits because I want to be honest, if you have to put your face down into somebody’s crotch, and it’s like a massive jungle or you’re a guy who hasn’t showered using so and, or it smells bad. I was gonna say

Kevin Anthony 5:38
is sweaty and dirty, it’s not ready groomed,

Céline Remy 5:42
yes, but I want to bring it to another level and I’m getting really graphic here. A lot of guys don’t wipe properly after they poop. And, you know, if you smell sensitive, you’ll smell it and it’s terrible. So like think about these details like use a wet rag or baby wipe yourself. Something like this a day instead of the day Exactly. But all of these things make a difference. I mean, I know they sound basics.

Céline Remy 6:07
And remember, when you were in the dating scene, and you took a lot of time to look at your appearance and grooming. And if you’ve been in a relationship for a long time, a lot of people stop doing these things. It’s very sad. And it goes both ways. We’ll talk about this again in the second part, but it goes both ways. And it’s just about remembering to put the amount of like attention you used to do before when you were dating, in your relationship.

Kevin Anthony 6:36
Yeah. So something that’s important to kind of state here. Maybe we should have stated before we went into number one, but it’s not about getting somebody to do something. It’s not about how can I manipulate them or coerce them into doing something? what it is about is making it such that they actually want to freely give it to you How can you inspire them to You constantly want it.

Kevin Anthony 7:01
Yeah. And so you know, number one, which is the grooming actually inspires somebody because if, if the thought that immediately pops up in their mind is it doesn’t smell good or it’s choking on hair or whatever it is, that doesn’t inspire somebody to want to do it. But if the thought is, oh, yeah, I love how she smells or how he smells or looks or whatever, that then is inspiring.

Céline Remy 7:29
Alright, so I’m bringing number two here because it’s a huge one that we do talk about a lot on the show, we absolutely need to bring in to this subject, which is about telling her that there is no obligation to make you calm and that it doesn’t have to end with you having an ejaculation This is a massive reframe, and it’s is huge.

Céline Remy 7:55
I’m giving you my woman’s perspective and then Kevin will give you his opinion to hear I think that as a woman if I know that I can go down on my men for as long as I’m having fun with it, and as long as I enjoy it and that there is no agenda for something to happen, I will be so much more willing and enthusiastic about accomplishing the task.

Céline Remy 8:18
And I will do it more often. And I know some guys might think well, but like, I don’t know if I really want that because then it’s gonna be like, I’m gonna have blue balls and all. Would you rather have frequent like three to five minutes blowjob or like to blow jobs a year on Christmas and your birthday?

Kevin Anthony 8:39
If you’re lucky. So one of the number one complaints that we hear from women is this idea that if she starts, she’s going to have to finish him. And let me tell you guys, she’s not always in the moon to finish you. She really isn’t. She doesn’t always want your sperm Where? Mm-hmm. anyway? Yeah. I mean, sometimes she does.

Kevin Anthony 9:03
Sometimes she doesn’t depends on what mood she’s in where she’s in her cycle. But if she thinks that every time she starts to go down on you, she’s gonna have to finish you. She’s only ever going to do it when she’s 100% in the mood to finish you, which is not all the time. No, no, it’s not even the majority of the time. That’s true. It’s like every once in a while,

Céline Remy 9:27
Absolutely. So now that we’re talking about all this cum. Let’s be really real about expectations. While you might love it when she swallows, again, it has to be her personal choice. So you can’t make it that she always has to swallow or enjoy it.

Céline Remy 9:43
Whatever it is, give her the choice like swallow not swallow sometimes ejaculation in the mouth, sometimes not in the mouth, like a lot of things but if there’s no pressure there, it will make it much easier for her to just grab your card, put it in her mouth for a little while and play Have it, suck on it, have fun and then move on

Kevin Anthony 10:02
Absolutely now, I’m gonna skip over number four and go to five and six. And then we’ll come back to number four. I put these on the list. And honestly, I was like, I can’t even believe I have to put this on the list is these were not things that immediately came up for me when going over this and helping to write notes.

Kevin Anthony 10:27
But after doing some research, I started seeing this come up and I’m going, you’ve got to be kidding me. Like really? Do we have to have this conversation in 20? But anyway, here they are. Don’t pressure her. Right. So don’t come on. Come on. You’re never Oh, you know, again, the idea here is to make her want to do it. The more you pressure her, the less she’s gonna want to do it.

Céline Remy 10:54
Mm-hmm. And don’t be needy in it either. Like I really want there. So I need to Do this for me, like this kind of behavior is not sexy. It’s not going to inspire her to want to give this to you.

Kevin Anthony 11:06
Exactly. And the next one is the one where I was like, really, really. But it came up more than once in research and that’s don’t push on her head. Like some people said, Don’t push on her head. Some people said don’t manhandle her head. But this, I swear, this comes from porn movies, right?

Céline Remy 11:24
Yeah, I have to tell you, as a woman, there’s nothing worse than a guy who actually will place his hands on my head and try to force me to suck him longer than I can stand that or deeper than you want. The moment I love the protein, and it’s a choice on when my throat is open and relaxed enough. And if you force me on it, it’s going to make me gag.

Céline Remy 11:45
And once you have this type of reaction, you’re starting to associate these really violent reactions with oral sex. And trust me, you’re not going to want to do that often. Yeah, you’re basically making it a forced. Yeah, you know, so slave action. Now I want to say that there really is a time it can get really hard when you are in a power-play dynamic.

Céline Remy 12:07
And there’s been a very clear scenario that has been outlined, and that there’s a safety word that could be used if that’s something that has been discussed or approved. And that has been from both parties. That is something they want to do, then go for it. If you’re the only one getting a kick out of it, rethink it.

Kevin Anthony 12:29
Yeah. And I mean, that might be the case. And for most people, it’s probably not right. So that power play dynamic is, it’s a fringe case if you’re there great. You know that you’re there for everybody else. Just don’t do it.

Céline Remy 12:47
Okay, another thing is about making sure she’s comfortable, right? And it depends too because, you know, sometimes you just do a quick little blow job and if you just take one for the team, and that’s fine, but if you want it more often, make sure that she can have a comfortable spot, like grab a pillow for her knees, or just find a way where the angle is better for her head and things like that. Because then she’ll be like, oh, I’m going to be at it for a little bit longer because this feels good.

Kevin Anthony 13:11
Oh, absolutely.

Céline Remy 13:13
Now if you want blow jobs often let her know she’s doing a good job. I mean, it braze will go a long way. It’s not about lag manipulation things but it’s about acknowledging when the person does a great job when you’re loving what she’s doing. And when you love that the fact that she’s doing it and so when somebody especially imagines reversing that if you woman was to come to you to give you a price, what do you tend to do, when she’s praising you for the good job you do?

Céline Remy 13:40
You tend to want to give her more to do more. Exactly. And it works the same for us. If you tell us we’re so good at sucking and that we’re the best oral sex you’ve ever had. And like you love how much we enjoy giving you had I mean, it’s the kind of thing you’re like we take pride in that as well. It works for us as well. So use that.

Kevin Anthony 13:58
Alright, let’s come back to number four. For that we skipped before, and that is making sure to reciprocate. If you want oral sex, you should also be willing to give oral sex.

Céline Remy 14:13
Big

Kevin Anthony 14:14
Duh

Céline Remy 14:16
A very big one. And so we’ll talk more about giving oral sex and some of the mistakes. Okay, so now that we’ve talked about you guys how to get her to give you more blow job, I want to address all of our women in the in our audience here and how to get him to go down on you or how to get him to maybe enjoy it more as well.

Céline Remy 14:40
And it’s a very interesting thing because I do believe and I’ll probably share a story at some point that also has a lot to do with your own attitude and your own connection with your body. So as a woman, you have a responsibility in being willing to be fully vulnerable and open. However, if you’ve already done that, and you’re like, Okay, I want to inspire him. Let’s start with the number one here, which is one that we talked for men, which is to tell him how much you love it and how it makes you want more sex with him.

Céline Remy 15:19
So it’s using that appreciation. And I think we’ve guys it works really, really well. And so if a guy can understand that he’s talking liking will lead to other things to you loving him more, or two more sex or more happiness, whatever is true, by the way, don’t make things up. He’s gonna be very willing to give this

Kevin Anthony 15:37
Yeah, and if you notice on the men’s list, the praise was kind of more towards the end of the list. But on the women’s list, the praise is way at the top. And that’s just a difference between men and women. Right. So, you know, if a guy is telling a woman, hey, I really love how you do this, and that’s great. She’ll be like, okay, yeah. It will motivate her to some extent.

Kevin Anthony 16:02
But for guys, if you as a woman are telling us that this is like, wow, you’re doing such a great job and you love, you know all of that it really motivates us. Like a lot because in general guys, we want to please our women,

Céline Remy 16:21
I know you want to do a good job. And so if also number two here is about telling him how good he is at it. And let’s be honest, he may not yet be the best at it, but I’m sure he’s got at least a move or two. So focus always on the positive, like make sure you give him more good feedback and kind of sandwiches with between, like at least two good ones for one that he could improve. Okay.

Kevin Anthony 16:48
Yeah. This is interesting to me because one thing that we have learned through our work is that there actually are quite a few men who are what’s the word? I’m drawing a blank on the word right now. But anyway, they have a feeling that they’re not very good at it. insecurity. It’s, it’s a Monday morning. Yeah, they had they actually have insecurity around their ability to give oral sex.

Kevin Anthony 17:19
And it’s interesting because not that I’ve ever thought I was like, fantastic or amazing at it. But I’ve never felt like, Oh my god, I’m not gonna do it, because I might not be good at it. But there’s a lot of guy who I know because of that, I know. And that’s why I bring it up is because I wanted to acknowledge that, that a lot of men do feel that so when you’re talking about, you know, telling him that he’s doing a good job telling him the parts that are that you’re really enjoying, and you’re really liking.

Kevin Anthony 17:45
As a woman, please hear that this could be very important for a lot of men because a lot of men really do have insecurities around that.

Céline Remy 17:52
Mm-hmm. So here I think also if you want to encourage him to go down on you is also the same with your hygiene and your grooming. And by the way, I want to be really clear, we’re not telling you you have to shave off everything. It simply means trimming the bushes a little bit. You know, it just means making things look good.

Céline Remy 18:12
Whatever your style is. I personally like pubic hair, I don’t want Kevin to shave it off. And I don’t shave mine off, I trim it the way I like to remove some and I leave some because it feels good. If you like it all shaven, and then please do so. But don’t ever feel pressured that you have to remove your pubic hair. I think they’re beautiful. And it’s kind of a pain in the butt to have to constantly remove those. So just make them look good. And then trim and appreciate what you’ve got.

Kevin Anthony 18:40
It’s not about looks. It’s really about just making it a pleasant experience. Mm-hmm.

Céline Remy 18:46
Absolutely. And I want to bring something up here for women too, that we might talk more about in the mistakes but it’s also about it. For us women, there’s often insecurity that How am I tasting today?

Céline Remy 19:01
How is this do it is good and all of this right and so if you know that you’re taking good care of yourself and you only need to shower with water, by the way, you don’t need to use all these sprays and things because your vagina is a self-cleaning oven literally where it does all the things that he needs to do.

Céline Remy 19:19
The more you douch, spray, and things, the more you’ll create imbalances so if you just take a regular shower, use one water and rinse off like this, you are fine. Just let go and know that your very own pheromones are going to be very attractive. Okay?

Kevin Anthony 19:34
You know, smells can be an issue for both men and women and as we’ve covered You know, it can have to do with your hygiene but it can also have to do with your lifestyle and how healthy you are. So that’s something to keep in mind too. If you’re getting frequent complaints and you’re like, Hey, I’m washing I’m using you know this, I’m doing that and doing this. You might want to look a little deeper because it could actually be tied to your overall internal health.

Céline Remy 19:59
Absolutely. This total correlation. I had a friend who was dating this girl, he was a nonsmoker. And she was a smoker and he actually was really turned off by having to go down on her because he could taste the cigarettes.

Kevin Anthony 20:11
That’s one I haven’t heard her before.

Céline Remy 20:13
yeah, and as a nonsmoker was very hard for him. So literally what you eat, what you put in your body can affect how you taste so better to make sure that your partner likes it. Anyway, we are talking about how to get him to go down on you more.

Céline Remy 20:27
So let’s come back to our subject here. There is something here that is very important is to show him that you are enjoying it while he is doing it. Yeah, this is actually a big one for me. You know, because if I’m, if I’m going down on a woman and she’s just laying there, she’s not moving. She’s not really making any noise.

Kevin Anthony 20:53
I know because I’m experienced that doesn’t necessarily mean anything. Oh, you’re experienced

Kevin Anthony 21:00
At this point, you know, like, I know that she might just be internal and just really like concentrating and focusing. But I will say that even though I’m aware of that, I still like it better. If she’s showing me some sort of feedback. We’d like feedback, we, if we’re doing something we like feedback to know, okay, what we’re doing is right, so, a little noise, little movements, you know, it could be verbal, anything that lets us know that, like, you’re really into it.

Kevin Anthony 21:33
And we’ve talked about this before many times too, when it comes to just sex in general, but like, at a certain point in your life as a guy, you know, people always make fun of, you know, young men, it’s like, although fuck anything, anywhere, anytime, right? Like, as long as there’s a hole, you know, that might work when you’re a horny 18 years old.

Kevin Anthony 21:50
But as you get older, that doesn’t really do it anymore. And what you’re really looking for, along with the physical is an actual connection and an interaction And so those things the moaning or you know, the verbal cues or the moving the body, those are all things that show that you’re present with me. You’re connecting with me there’s a feedback loop happening here.

Céline Remy 22:16
Okay, let me give you a very important tip here for all of you women if you want him to go down on you, ask for it. Ask for it. And it’s funny because we didn’t have to say that for the guys.

Kevin Anthony 22:30
No, this was not on the guy’s list at all. You know why? Cuz guys ask all the time. Oh, that’s not a problem for guys. In fact, most women go he asked too often. So that wasn’t gonna make it on the list.

Céline Remy 22:39
But we women tend to be like, well, I should know. Or I might be in the mood right now. And then we forget and then we go like, should I really ask her this, it kind of feels good anyway, or maybe next time and we don’t do it. So make it a point to ask for it. And then be willing to receive it. Because that’s the other part.

Céline Remy 22:59
Sometimes we like it. I don’t know like it’s like as far to receive it, I want to briefly talk about two different two other concepts, which are similar to what we talked about for the guys, which is making sure that he understands that there’s no obligation to continue for, like any period of time or any results. Again, so it’s having just no agenda, but like this feels good and that we can be complete.

Kevin Anthony 23:22
I want to expand on that for a quick second. Because, you know, with a guy, if a woman is even halfway decent at giving a blowjob, she can most likely if she really wants to make a guy come pretty quickly, even if he’s really good at holding it. I mean, if she really goes at it, she can make it over pretty quickly if she wants to. It’s not the same the other way around. Right? And so, the idea, like if a guy thinks, oh my god, this could be like, a 40-minute marathon.

Céline Remy 23:55
Well, and we’ll talk about that,

Kevin Anthony 23:57
actually. Yeah, he may not be as willing to do it but it just like the other way around, if he knows Hey, is she was gonna enjoy it even if it’s five minutes or 40 minutes, then he’s gonna be much more willing to do it.

Céline Remy 24:09
Absolutely. And then again, the same advice for you make sure to reciprocate. If you want oral sex, make sure you give oral sex it goes both ways, right? So I’m going to I’m really excited to dive into our mistakes and tell you all about the things like what not to do so that you can really like to start enjoying oral sex more.

Céline Remy 24:29
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Céline Remy 24:57
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Céline Remy 25:23
All right, so let’s talk about oral mistakes that she makes we kind of like going to him she came she and all this stuff that starts with some of the oral mistakes that she can make. And maybe I’ll talk about those and then Kevin, you can talk about some of the mistakes he makes them. So I think the biggest mistake that women make is to not use their hands. And it’s just thinking about like, a blowjob is like just kind of using your mouth and tongue which can be really tiring.

Céline Remy 25:52
If you start to like incorporate your hands. Not only does it become more fun for you, but it also allows you to deliver more sensations with less effort. And so incorporating your hands is a great way to take it to the next level. So if you’re not using your hands yet it is definitely a mistake.

Kevin Anthony 26:11
And don’t be afraid to use both hands.

Céline Remy 26:12
Absolutely. And don’t be afraid to venture around not just on the penis but use the testicles massage to peritoneum area, you could even like massage his anus, the outside his butt cheeks, or his size. It’s

Kevin Anthony 26:26
assuming of course he followed the rules and did the proper grooming.

Céline Remy 26:34
Absolutely, but it’s really it’s there’s a lot of nerve endings around that anus and the perineum is also an area it’s basically between is the piece of skin between the balls and the anus and it never really gets much touch. And there’s a lot of like tension that can be held there and it can feel really good to blood pressure there a while playing with the tongue and incorporating the testicles is so huge, you know, because the balls don’t get any attention.

Céline Remy 26:58
Some guys are very testing sensitives ever are less. So again, use your good judgment when you do that and pay attention to his answers. Okay? Another mistake that people do is that they’re not asking for feedback, you know, what is it that we that he likes? You’ve got to understand that not all guys as the same I know this misconception he’s a guy who’s gonna like it, guess what men also have their own feelings and preferences and they’re not all just as simple as a switch as we’ve been led to believe that

Kevin Anthony 27:33
you know there is such a thing as a bad blow job. Wow. There is but the difference is that you know if you get blowjobs frequently and you get one that’s not very good. You kind of like you know, I’d rather not, you know, get a bad one. But if you don’t get blowjobs very frequently you’ll take a bad one anyway because you’re like, oh, Ben was better than no one Well, yeah, no, it’s true. Let’s, let’s all be honest here.

Céline Remy 28:05
I appreciate the honesty.

Kevin Anthony 28:08
But we definitely do appreciate one that is well done as opposed to just doing it because oh, I did it, you know, Mm-hmm.

Céline Remy 28:16
Some of the other mistakes are also just focusing only on the tip, you know, and, like use the entire shaft and I say like using also the testicles with your hands and you can explore a different area. Another one is about not really being creative, and just using the same moves. Well, guys are my, I mean, he’ll be happy to give him something. It’s true.

Céline Remy 28:40
But when you get creative and discover, especially when you’re in an established relationship, where it’s like, I still find new ways to blow Kevin, you know, you’re always inventing new techniques and you move and new angle and it’s just fun playing fun. So if you’re not having so much fun, and creativity, it’s definitely a mistake.

Céline Remy 29:00
Because it’s not going to motivate you to like, really go for it. Another thing is like to treat it like a chore as a woman, you know, it’s like something he wants, I’ll do it. I don’t really like it, roll my eye, and just do this. And that’s definitely not the attitude that you want to have. Never mistake that I do see is women who don’t do it often enough and then their men crave it. What I’ve noticed is actually when you give it often to a guy, it actually helps him to reset his nervous system and he’s not going to come median wanted anymore.

Céline Remy 29:32
And I want to bring a really, really important concept here, which is about using oral sex, kind of like as a rewarding thing, and like withholding it and stuff. And this is something you should never be doing. I don’t think you should be using oral sex like, Oh, good boy, let me reward you or like, Oh, you didn’t behave properly, you’re not getting any. Really it should just be a commitment that you’ve made you together and you’re going to enjoy all of the different varieties of the sexual experience and that you willing to do oral sex and you shoot a neck hold it back.

Kevin Anthony 30:06
Absolutely.

Céline Remy 30:09
So these I think are some of the most common myths mistakes to look for and you know what if you’re not liking it speak up and find ways to like it if he if it’s because of like something or position or smell thing like find ways to gather and if you’re not sure that you’re doing a good job like ask him to show you what he likes cretins are going to be able to suck his own cock, but he can tell you or like one of the things I do too is telling me like on a scale of one to 10 like, how is this one?

Céline Remy 30:38
It’s eight or tell me when it feels perfect. And I’ll stay there like ask for feedback, be willing to modify, and be creative.

Kevin Anthony 30:45
Absolutely. You know if he could. There might be fewer relationships out there not just kidding.

Céline Remy 30:53
So how about Kevin, you give us some of the oral mistakes that he makes.

Kevin Anthony 30:59
Okay, are all mistakes he makes first one is using his tongue to poker or do the alphabet. So there is a thing and I think this comes from a book from decades ago that was trying to teach men how to do oral sex. And it’s telling you to literally use your tongue to write out the alphabet. I don’t know a single woman who actually likes that.

Céline Remy 31:24
We’re not even impressed, by the way, just putting it in there.

Kevin Anthony 31:27
No, no, it’s if you truly understand what women like, you would realize why this doesn’t work. We’ll get to that maybe. But yeah, the idea that you can just kind of stab at it or like, like, flick it hard or you know,

Céline Remy 31:46
there is a time and place for hard flicking, but it’s not the whole thing and it’s not at the beginning.

Kevin Anthony 31:51
Exactly. Alright, so don’t do that. This one is similar to one of the mistakes that she makes, which is not adding hands or fingers. So hands and fingers can be used in many different ways. You know, they don’t have to just be internal, they can be used externally as well.

Céline Remy 32:13
So that’s something I really love my thighs to be like the kind of like caressed and massage while you like licking and then also having the hand that moves up to like my heart and kind of moves energy. I love that because it nets it’s like spreading it through my whole body.

Kevin Anthony 32:29
Absolutely. Mm-hmm. All right, next not having proper rhythm. It’s all about rhythm. So not so much technique. So that’s kind of what I was alluding to on the first one why the alphabet doesn’t work because the alphabet doesn’t have a rhythm. It doesn’t have a rhythm. It’s just all random all over the place.

Kevin Anthony 32:47
And women and this has been my personal experience and I’m sure something you can tell the audience too, but my personal experience is I always notice that woman gets more into it. When I can find a good steady rhythm. You know, find a move that She likes and just keep doing it over and over, doesn’t mean you do the same thing the entire time. But for periods of time, stick with something, you know, and see how she reacts. Even

Céline Remy 33:10
if it’s simple, I believe it’s better to have a rhythmic thing rather than a complicated move. So even as simply flipping that you keep it up and keep it up for a while and have that think about how vibrators work, they just repeating a pattern. It’s just like that, that shaking that motion that keeps at it.

Kevin Anthony 33:31
That’s the ultimate rhythm. Yes, it is. It’s exactly the same all the time.

Céline Remy 33:38
The shoe change speeds, any works.

Kevin Anthony 33:40
I guess it does. Alright, oh, asking her to sit on his face. Okay. So here’s the thing. Yeah, sometimes that’s kind of hot. You know, you’re like, Oh, yeah, that’s kind of fun. And that’s kind of but the problem is, is she can’t relax. Exactly. That’s the problem. See, I know you wrote that one on the list, but I knew exactly what it was about.

Kevin Anthony 34:02
She can’t relax in that position. So that’s really a mistake. If you really want her to relax and enjoy and be into it, you got to make sure that she’s in a position where she can just let go and just relax it.

Céline Remy 34:15
Mm-hmm.

Kevin Anthony 34:16
All right. Did you have more to add on you

Céline Remy 34:19
know, you’re supposed to go for this I kind of went through the mistakes that she makes and you’re kind of like, okay, the mistakes that he makes you are doing good. Keep delivering, with rhythm.

Kevin Anthony 34:28
Don’t call me the postman for another. always deliver. Okay, let’s see, where are we on the list? Oh, not reading her or paying attention to detail. So yeah, I mean, this goes hand in hand with almost everything else that we have said in the mistakes, right. It’s like, you need to be paying attention to where she’s at.

Kevin Anthony 34:53
How is she responding to what you’re doing? Are you making a scratchy face like, oh, oh god, that’s awful? This hour. Her hands kind of like pushing you a little bit. Or if she’s like, Whoa, yeah, keep doing that right.

Céline Remy 35:07
Don’t’ stop.

Kevin Anthony 35:11
So yeah, pay attention, pay attention. This is one of the big things we teach in our sexual mastery course to this idea of presence and attention. We’re not going to go into it here, but it’s a huge piece of any lovemaking endeavor, no matter what it is.

Kevin Anthony 35:24
Next, not being enthusiastic, or giving her reassurance that you’re actually enjoying it does the exact same thing with the woman right? If she’s not into it, it’s not going to be as much fun for you.

Kevin Anthony 35:38
Same thing here. If she thinks you’re just doing it as a chore, she’s then not gonna feel comfortable, right? And she’s gonna be like, oh, I gotta hurry up and get it over. Like I gotta try to make myself come which of course then is going to guarantee that she’s not going to come? Right.

Céline Remy 35:52
Absolutely. And I will add that I do think we need a bit more reassurance as women because there are so many things and stigma around our genitalia. And it’s like okay do I taste good? Do I smell good? Do you like it? Am I taking too long and all of these things keep us stuck in our head so if you give us like, oh honey you taste divine I love like in your pussy I could be there for hours, take your time.

Céline Remy 36:13
Trust me it will help her absolutely relax whether or not she gets to orgasm but to enjoy it more so it’s not withholding this communication is actually a big mistake because I think it’s it’s holding her stuck in her head so if you can give her that piece of reassurance it will help her

Kevin Anthony 36:31
yeah, next one on the list is not giving it enough time so we talked about this all the time the differential and how long it takes a man to climax versus a woman how long it takes a man to get just even ready to go versus a woman she needs a little bit more fire stoking. So make sure you give her the time. If you’re three minutes and out like she’s like I didn’t even start yet. Or what happened. Did you miss

Céline Remy 37:00
Absolutely, absolutely. And then by the way, if you always assume that she’s going to get an orgasm from it or that your self worth is tied to her ability to have an orgasm, that’s a massive mistake there to make it about the connection and in also want to throw in there that oral sex doesn’t just have to be foreplay or sex could be a meal of its own. Oh, absolutely. It’s a big mistake to fake. It’s just a five-minute thing you do before you stick it in.

Kevin Anthony 37:25
Yeah, yeah. Absolutely. All right, we got two more on the list. The next one is making it about him and not her. Right. So this is her chance to really just relax and enjoy and get into her body. And this is a gift that you’re giving to her. So it’s not really about you or what you’re taking away or how much it turns you on or any of that kind of stuff. It’s something you are lovingly giving. Mm-hmm. And last one, not asking what she likes.

Céline Remy 37:58
If you thank you like a sex God and oral sex God, and you’re like, you don’t need to change your technique. You making a big mistake,

Kevin Anthony 38:06
every woman is different. Every woman is different. I can tell you, every woman I’ve had like something a little bit different than theirs. There are common things that they all tend to like, but they all have something that is like, they like it a little different. And haven’t you? I mean, it changes too, right? Like over the years. What I like now versus what I liked four years ago is not exactly the same, right? Absolutely.

Céline Remy 38:28
So remember that and so be it doesn’t mean you’re not good. Just be curious about what she likes and what she wants,

Kevin Anthony 38:33
what they like this time versus what they liked the time before, could very likely be different.

Céline Remy 38:41
So we really wanted to leave you with some fun facts and take these with a grain of salt. You know, these notes live by them.

Kevin Anthony 38:47
They are 100% truth. All right, do not question it. Don’t try to research it.

Céline Remy 38:54
Ah, well, they are actually real studies. However, as I said, this is like we want To leave you with why you should have more oral sex right? And also we found a few studies there was a study of college students at the State University of New York in Albany that suggests that semen acts as an antidepressant.

Kevin Anthony 39:12
That’s right. So if you want your woman to be in a better mood you need to give her more semen Yes, we call this cockspirin.

Céline Remy 39:17
So that’s a dose but like this one, you need to shoot deep. Deep delivery

Kevin Anthony 39:26
Cockspirin doesn’t necessarily require semen but you know there’s the there’s there are different treatments of Cockspirin.

Céline Remy 39:33
absolutely different applications you know, there’s a dry one and there’s the wet one you know. Now it also known that orgasm is a powerful pain killer so maybe next time shoot for an orgasm or good old oral sex or if

Kevin Anthony 39:48
you haven’t a little back pain, you know, you

Céline Remy 39:54
might just need to receive his he can bend forward or whatever, but still, you know, that could help It is possible, possible right that male semen can lower blood pressure and never study has found that women who gave their men oral sex and swallowed had a lower risk of preeclampsia the dangerously high blood pressure that sometimes accompanies pregnancy.

Céline Remy 40:18
Alright, as I said, Take these with a grain of salt because what I’ve noticed that most of these are done on woman swallowing, like see Hold on, does it anyway.

Kevin Anthony 40:27
It’s funny because I was literally thinking that I was like, how come we’re not finding any information on the benefits? And it’s interesting, I didn’t find it today. But I do recall reading something somewhere about the benefits of giving a woman oral sex. I think it works both ways.

Céline Remy 40:47
But I’ve got one here and this one comes from me. I think it’s the best anti-aging and it’s free. It’s right to tone up all those muscles. I know. Absolutely. It moves everything as you think is the best way. left, I think that’s what

Kevin Anthony 41:01
it’s for. It’s way better than those fillers that a lot of women are doing fake faces.

Céline Remy 41:08
Absolutely. So I hope these motivated you to go for more oral obviously. And you know, just kind of like refine your technique.

Kevin Anthony 41:18
All right. Well, we hope that we motivated you all, and entertained you a little bit. But that’s all the time we have for this episode, and we will see you next week. We hope you liked this episode of the love lab podcast. If you enjoy this show, subscribe. leave us a review and share it with your friends.

Céline Remy 41:42
And for more free exclusive content. Join us in the passion vault at kevinanthonycoaching.com/vault. That’s kevinanthonycoaching.com /vault.

Kevin Anthony 41:57
Thanks for listening

Céline Remy 41:58
and remember you amazing.