How To Make 2020 The Best Year For Sex, Love and Relationship

Céline Remy 0:11
Welcome to the love lab podcast a safe place to get real about sex. Whether you are a man, woman, single or couple. This is the show for you because well, sex matters. We are your hosts, Kevin Anthony and Céline Remy.

Kevin Anthony 0:28
All right. Welcome back to the love lab podcast. First of all, Happy New Year. It is now 2020 can you believe that? 2020 you know, we’ve been doing podcasts now through 2018, 2019 and now we’re starting 2020 Crazy, huh?

Céline Remy 0:50
And we are still going strong Kevin.

Kevin Anthony 0:53
That we are.

Céline Remy 0:54
We have lasting power obviously.

Kevin Anthony 0:56
We must have taken power and mastery. Anyway, this is Episode 74. And it’s the first one of 2020. We hope you had a great new year. And we wanted to help you start off the new year, right? So this episode is how to make 2020. The best year for sex, love, and relationships. No matter what has happened in the past, now is a great time to start to make it better.

Céline Remy 1:24
And I love that because something happened to a certain way doesn’t mean you’re stuck. And bringing that awareness that you can change anything you don’t like any given time is very empowering. So today we’re going to share some of our best tips, some of our ideas, things that have worked for us in the past things that we are currently doing to in our relationship, and hopefully, it will inspire you.

Céline Remy 1:48
But before we get started, let’s give a shout out to our sponsor. So if you’re a man and you want to join the secret club of men who are great in bed, then check out power and mastery. Power and Mastery is the most complex sexual mastery training for men. And it’s got three parts to it that you can pick and choose whether you want to have a harder, stronger erections, whether you want to last longer or you want to increase your skills in the bedroom, and it’s even more than just sexual skills through the things that she wants is a woman so good to power and mastery.com to check it all out.

Kevin Anthony 2:23
All right, so let’s just dive in here. And it is the beginning of a new year. And I know for us like we always like to sort of we take some time off between Christmas and New Year’s and, and we spend a lot of time like cleaning out the old the mouths and you know, cleaning out all the stuff we don’t need here there. I know a lot of people do like spring cleaning stuff. We kind of do like New Year’s kind of clean stuff. But the thing is, for us it always at least, especially for me, feels great to start the new year off like fresh, clean, organized with a plan, like ready to go.

Céline Remy 3:06
Yeah. If you haven’t tried it yet you know it or if it feels overwhelming, pick one area at a time. You know whether it’s your kitchen drawer or your underwear drawer, or anything related to your relationship, but like, take a good look at the areas where you’re like, Oh my gosh, this is the list you know, there are so many things. And you do have an entire year to do it. So it is too overwhelming. literally make a list and then go through it as you go through your year. And just check off the list of things that you doing.

Kevin Anthony 3:39
I would start with the underwear drawer. Seriously get rid of those old underwear. If you want to have more sex get rid of those old from be falling apart maybe staying stuck.

Céline Remy 3:50
It’s funny that people might see some women who like they were these underwear other like well, I wouldn’t be dare caught wearing those because they are so awful. And I’m like, then why are you wearing them? If you’re not proud of the underwear you’re wearing, you know, they may not be the sexiest thing ever. I’m not saying that I’m only wearing sexy stuff and I have my comfortable underwear for sure. But I could be caught in my underwear any given day and still feel sexy and happy to be seen in them.

Kevin Anthony 4:19
Maybe we should do a whole episode on underwear, proper selection. Benefits downside. Anyway, this is not about underwear.

Céline Remy 4:29
We are getting sidetracked here.

Kevin Anthony 4:33
This is really about how to make your sex love and relationship, which is everything this podcast is about the best it can be in 2020. And I would just like to say one other thing might have been the same thing you’re going to say because that happens. So forgive me if I stole your line. But I have really wanted to say that before we get diving into the details of how to do that and all it’s really not that complicated.

Céline Remy 5:00
You did steal my line.

Kevin Anthony 5:02
Please expand our listeners what we mean by that.

Céline Remy 5:06
If you boil it down to a few concepts, it really comes down to loving the person that you are with loving them for who they are. Don’t try to change them, and let them be free to be themselves. And I know some people like really, that’s the advice you’re going to give me it is common sense and at the same time, it can be challenging for some people, some people are in a relationship with others that they like if only he would do this or she would do that, or I love them for their potential. And we’ve spoken a lot about this in the past like dating somebody for their potential is never a good recipe for a long-lasting, happy relationship.

Céline Remy 5:47
And here’s the thing, if you can love the person exactly for who they are, without trying to change them this it will be so much more fulfilling. But if you’re able to do that for somebody else, it really starts because you’re able to love yourself or So exactly for who you are. And so it always starts with yourself first. Bringing that kind of love for yourself that you don’t have to change anything that even if you have some new goals or some ideas of improving yourself, you are still happy and fulfilled with who you are in this present moment.

Kevin Anthony 6:18
It absolutely always starts with yourself.

Céline Remy 6:23
And I want to remind you something is that life is pretty short. And if you are over 35 and listening to this show, you can relate to that. So do stuff that matters? Like really, you know, sometimes when we super young, we think we have so much time, and there’s so much thing we’re going to do and accomplish and as we keep moving forward on this chronological scale that we have to start to realize that time is passing by it goes by quickly and it’s important to really focus on the things that matter.

Kevin Anthony 7:01
And now is the time to do that. You have tons of time when you’re young until you don’t. And it’s like that. It’s an all of a sudden you’re like, Oh, shit, where did it go?

Céline Remy 7:13
So this is 2020. So let’s set the ground here you go to make 2020 year relationship a priority for this year. Okay, this is the foundation.

Kevin Anthony 7:24
Yeah, right. You know, before you said, I know this is common sense, but you know what they say about common sense, right? Common sense isn’t so common. If we look around the world today, the world is severely lacking and common sense things that everybody should know. People don’t know. They know the latest TV show and latest video game and this that and the other thing but they don’t even know the basics of how to live a decent life.

Céline Remy 7:47
Right. Do you remember what your significant other put on this morning before they left for work? Did you pay attention to how she did her hair? Did you pay attention to the tie he’s wearing Or what kind of breakfast he had? Do you know these things? Or have you focused your time on Kardashian’s latest trend or your social media feed?

Kevin Anthony 8:12
Exactly. And we’ll get more into that as we go along. What we really wanted to stress here was to make your relationship a priority in 2020. So, you know, the analogy that I would use is anything that you want to be good at, takes practice. If you’re a dude, and you like to golf, like Were you a great golfer. You know, the first time you went out? Were you a great golfer, if you went out consistently over a lot of years, but just every once in a while? No, no, you weren’t.

Kevin Anthony 8:42
If you wanted to be a great golfer, you’d have to go out there and golf all the time. And it’s the same thing with anything. You want to be a great baker in the kitchen or musician or martial law, whatever it is, it takes practice and it takes time and it takes doing it over and over and over. over again. And you know, we see most people do with relationships. Fucking autopilot. Literally autopilot. Well, I’m married. So you know, like, it’s all over. I don’t have to do anything anymore. Do you know? Yeah, we’re like, oh, you know, she was together. So like, well, what when I see one for me, you know?

Kevin Anthony 9:20
The reality is, is that just because you’ve been doing relationships your whole life doesn’t mean you’re any good at them. In fact, most people suck at them, trust us. And not to say that we’re amazing at it and everybody else is bad. Like we went through our learning to we had our series of relationships that didn’t work, and are things that were messed up and our skills that we had to learn. We’ve been there done that that’s how we know.

Céline Remy 9:45
And we’ve also paid attention because they are happy, thriving people in really happy relationships. And that’s always what I’m they’re interested in. When I meet people like that. I’m like, What’s your secret? What do you do? How did you make it work all of these years? What did you learn, and I love to learn by osmosis from their experience. So it’s also about watching and seeking role models and people who embody that which you try to, to be or to have in your relationship.

Céline Remy 10:13
So when we talk about making your relationship a priority for 2020 it’s about becoming serious about putting it down into your calendar. We live in this day and age where if it’s not in the calendar, it’s not happening. And things are happening faster and faster, which makes it harder and harder. So many things are competing for our attention every single day. Look at your inbox. So get your social media and look at everybody is wanting something from you multiple times a day. And if you are not vigilant about that, you will be depleted you will be giving away a lot of your energy and not having much left for those who matter.

Céline Remy 10:55
So putting your relationship in the calendar with a date night Wherever you know, and don’t mix the things if your parents separate time to talk about the kids time to talk about the futures, the bonds as a family and the time to be romantic, there is a time for all and I’m not saying like, don’t talk about it. And it’s the hardest advice for most of the clients that we work with when they have children. And we tell them, this is date night and you not to talk about business, you know, to talk about your kids, and any of these people like really, but what are we going to talk about?

Kevin Anthony 11:33
How about you create the space and see what comes up? It might surprise you.

Céline Remy 11:38
Like, some of our clients get terrified. I remember a couple that I was working with, and they have a business together and we’re like, I don’t know if we can do that. And I was like, What Kevin and I do it. So I know it’s possible. I mean, we work together we live together, we share like we 24/7 together. And so I’m very, very familiar with this type of dynamic and that’s why it’s important to Set those guidelines and things around what you’re going to spend time together.

Kevin Anthony 12:05
Yeah. And what you realize when you talk and work with people like that is that talking about the kids or talking about the business while those things are important, and there’s plenty to talk about, they actually become distractions. And so it’s not that they don’t know what to talk about. It’s that they’re afraid of what they’ll talk about if they have space and time to do it.

Céline Remy 12:28
That is powerful. Yeah, and so as we are setting this grounds work for 2020 you need to become comfortable being uncomfortable talking about everything and anything and even the things that you might be shy about or anxious or like what if he or she is not gonna like me once they know that about myself in these are the very important part that makes you who you are and make you attractive. So it’s so important that you are willing to share an open up with the person that you’ve decided to be with.

Kevin Anthony 13:04
Absolutely. So let’s talk about the big pink elephant in the corner when it comes to making your relationship a priority because I know what at least half of you listening to this are thinking. But I don’t have the time for that. I’m too busy. I work too much, and the kids and the this and that and, okay, so that needs to be addressed right away. Because if you are going to be successful in this resolution, you’re going to have to get past this excuse.

Kevin Anthony 13:30
So the first thing I would say is, you do have the time. Yes, you do. I don’t care how busy you are. You have the time. Don’t believe me? Okay. So here’s what I want you to do. I want you to pay attention to all of the things that you do in a given day, that take up time. And just to throw a few examples out there, how much time you spend on Facebook. Probably a lot.

Céline Remy 13:55
Studies have shown that it was one hour a day. That’s the average on Our day on social media.

Kevin Anthony 14:02
Yeah. And the younger you are the higher. So how many of you have your favorite TV shows that you watch? Do you watch TV shows every day? So at least an hour right there. When we say make your relationship a priority, we’re not saying that you have to put hours a day into it. And actually, this is like, if you want to learn a musical instrument, the first thing they tell you is, I want you to practice 10 minutes a day, every day, instead of an hour, once a week. Right, it’s because it’s the repetition that makes it work.

Kevin Anthony 14:40
Even though technically, you know, it might be the same amount of time. At the end of the week. It’s the repetition spread out over the days that make the difference. Same thing here, you don’t have to spend hours a day making your relationship a priority in 2020. But you do have to spend just a little bit of time each day.

Céline Remy 14:58
And really looking at numbers will help to get a tracker and see what’s your model screentime check on your computer check on your phone, or sometimes just to write things down is fascinating because we do forget lots of being like, Okay had to breakfast from this time to that time did this and like, wherever it’s into an app or whether it’s on paper, if you’re still old fashioned enough to do that, which I do have and writing.

Céline Remy 15:23
So it really gives you a good glimpse into what is truly happening. Because oftentimes, there is a difference between what you thinking you’re doing and what you are actually doing. Especially if you’re not having the life that you want. It’s probably because you’re not doing the particular actions that you’re supposed to be doing in order to have the life that you want and crave.

Kevin Anthony 15:45
You know, what’s interesting is, I work on a lot of different projects on any given day. And I do use a timer and a tracking app to keep track of how much time I’ve worked on a particular project. And what is interesting is is that sometimes at the End of the day, I look at that, and I ended up and I’m like, Okay, that was six hours. But I’ve been working eight hours Where did the rest of the time go? Huh? Like, seriously, where did it go? Because I feel like I just stopped the timer on one project, started it on the next one, boom, go.

Kevin Anthony 16:18
But we don’t realize there’s a whole lot of little things in between that start to add up. So the reality is, is that time is not really your issue. So you can just let go of that excuse right now, you know, it’s interesting because we didn’t really start out by calling this episode like New Year’s resolutions, right then it’s not necessarily what we’re saying here. And at the same time, we are telling people, you know, to make the relationship a priority for the coming year, which is very similar to a resolution.

Kevin Anthony 16:53
One of the reasons why we’re drilling this home so much right now in this episode is because of the percentages of how many people fail at their new year’s resolutions and when they fail. Alright, so this is really interesting. Do you want to read the stats on that?

Céline Remy 17:11
So you found this. There was a study, that study was done by Strava. And the looked into 31.5 million of like online global activities. 31.5 million people that they looked into what they were doing, and here’s what they found. They found that Saturday, if it is Saturday, January 12th, that’s what is January 12. It is the fateful day of New Year’s resolutions.

Kevin Anthony 17:41
Yeah, so what they’re telling you here with that is so Strava if you’re not familiar with Strava, it’s like a social media app for fitness enthusiasts, and it records your activities and stuff and you can share it with people and blah, blah, blah, like, Hey, I just did this bike ride over here for this many miles, whatever. So they’re looking at 31.5 million activities that people have Put in which fair amount pretty big sample size there. And they found that by January 12, which is literally less than two whole weeks into the year, people had already failed at their new year’s resolutions in less than two weeks.

Kevin Anthony 18:20
Now, there have been some other studies to I don’t remember which university, I think I’m not going to say which university because I don’t remember off the top of my head. But they also did a study on New Year’s resolutions. And what they found was that 80% of people failed at their new year’s resolutions and only 8% were successful. Now, obviously, that doesn’t add up to 100%. So I don’t know what the other 212 percent of people were doing.

Céline Remy 18:49
The jaded one they’re like, I’ve done it, it hasn’t worked on not even doing it anymore. Maybe this

Kevin Anthony 18:55
didn’t so I don’t even know but, but 80% of people fail and that’s why we’re kind of driving this home. Because if you really want to have the best relationship, the best sex life, the most love that you’ve ever experienced in the year, you got to make it a priority and you’ve got to stick with it. Like we could even end the episode there. We’re not going to because we have a lot more tips for you, but, but honestly, we could like that just doing that alone. And nothing else would radically improve your relationship

Céline Remy 19:25
and know that if you make it past January, retire at 12, you are way ahead of the curve.

Kevin Anthony 19:31
You can make it to December 31st, you are a champion.

Céline Remy 19:37
So the number two-step so now we know number one is to make your relationship of priority. We gave you different ideas, different things around that. Number two, you want to improve your communication. What we see working with people is that most of the time, it always comes down to communication issues. It’s not so much about Your skill sets and stuff. It’s about asking for what you want or expressing what you need. And people are not able to do that, or what they say versus what’s being heard. And obviously get lost in translation.

Céline Remy 20:13
So improving your communication wherever it is to work with somebody who can support you with that, whether it’s reading a book on nonviolent communications or wherever it’s like, hey, let’s, let’s slow down a little bit, maybe let’s stop, like arguing over text messages. Let’s have real face to face interaction where we communicate not so much on social media anymore, but the like being together that will go a long way into improving your relationship and making that the best year for you.

Kevin Anthony 20:47
You know, we have a whole bunch of ideas here like we have sort of our three key main things then we have a list of ideas, which are a little bit more like how-tos, you know, but I really felt that improve your communication was so so important that it had to be like up here in the top three. Because what we see when working with couples is that this is one of the biggest areas that couples fail. I mean, really one of the biggest areas so it really does warrant its own place here on the list.

Kevin Anthony 21:20
Make your relationship a priority in 2020 and work on that communication. I don’t care how good you think you are at it, you’re most likely not that good. Because all I can say is we work with people over and over and over again and I’m like you talk like them like what you said what?

Céline Remy 21:38
Remember that words are powerful, and what you tell to your significant other will have an effect. And how do you speak to them? Is it with love, is it with compassion, is it with empathy? Or is it with,  I can’t believe you did this or blaming shaming, criticizing, you know, we’ve done episodes on that those things not to do in the relationship to pay attention? Like, are you mostly being positive and supportive in your verbal communication? Or is it mostly pointing the faults or what’s not happening or the places where they’re falling short?

Céline Remy 22:13
You want to reverse that most people have an 80/20 ratio in terms of 80%, negative to 20% positive. What they have found is that people who are happy, happy for no reason, I have people who have been able to flip that. And I’ve always wanted, like what made me different and when I read that, I was like, that makes sense. I truly have an 80/20, reverse 80% positive and 20% negative. If you’re able, it’s not that hard to do, you just have to get yourself literally you know, once you know that something to look for and not like fall into then you can start to stop yourself in it’s funny.

Céline Remy 22:50
We had this conversation in the car just a few days ago when I was telling Kevin that’s his way of driving is a little bit different than mine. I am a planner and many things and so when we have to move lane. I’m literally like if I have to exit, let’s say like three miles before the exit, I’m already moving on to the right lane to be ready for my exits. And so usually at a given hour, we’re going to exit in for a mile. It’s kind of my head, it’s time to move, right? Kevin goes like, way closer before he starts to move, probably, he’s gonna move within like half a mile, like something like that.

Céline Remy 23:25
When he does that, I sometimes feel anxious or like starting to sweat or feel very uncomfortable I’m thinking oh my god, we’re going to miss the exit. And I have to stop myself at not complaining about this or telling him to like move faster and to be okay that we’ve never missed an exit. So the way he does works, obviously, even if it’s not my way. So we had this conversation where I finally told him this is what goes on for me oftentimes, but I learned to shut up.

Céline Remy 23:55
I learned to not let that worry or that silly idea that I have to like mess up, the beautiful harmonious drive that we’re having with some stupid worries that have no room to be there. I want you to start to look at all the different ways that you’re interacting. This is what we mean to when we say to improve your communication. Don’t waste time and the things that don’t matter,

Kevin Anthony 24:18
for sure. And you know, a lot of you are probably thinking, I’m not 80% negative, you know, you know, maybe I’m like 40 50%, but I’m not 80% negative. Again, I challenge you to really monitor the things that you say. And what’s really funny is I you know, I grew up on the East Coast here in the United States, and I really had to work on this because of people in the East Coast No offense, I know we have lots of listeners on the east coast. Just be honest with yourselves.

Kevin Anthony 24:48
I’m not trying to make fun of you. All right, you hear me, you hear me? No. But, they are. They are largely very negative in the things that they say not just to other people, but even to themselves.

Céline Remy 25:00
All the time. Even the question, how you doing? Not bad? Not bad? Like that’s not a positive statement?

Kevin Anthony 25:08
No, that’s a good one a lot of times they’ll say and can be better and ain’t so good. I’m still breathing, you know? Yeah, really, really watch because especially if you say those things to yourself, you probably aren’t aware of how much you’re saying and other people so and that’s just one small area of communication. Next one, I want to jump on because you know, we could be here until 2021. Third, the big one is, know your “why’s”. And this is great.

Kevin Anthony 25:41
I want to tell a quick story here and then and then you know, you can, you can jump into I went to a ceremony that some friends of ours did, when they were deciding that they weren’t gonna be together anymore, and this goes back quite a few years and they really want It’s a sort of commemorate this, in part ways in a very beautiful and amicable way. And one of the things that came up in that was that when they first got together, they decided that they were only going to stay together, as long as the two of them being together, brought more into the world than it took away.

Kevin Anthony 26:23
So as long as they were having a positive impact on the world, as a result of them being together, they would stay together. When that relationship wasn’t working, and it was no longer having a net positive, they decided it was time to transition. I mean, obviously, they did some work and stuff. It’s not just like, I was not working, let’s go. But, but I really thought that was beautiful because they knew they’re why at least part of it anyway. And you and I have done the same thing. We sat down and said what do we want to create by being together? You know,

Céline Remy 26:53
We revisit this concept. Every now and then and especially every year, you know, around your anniversary. Whatever works for you because we evolve then we change as human beings and sometimes our needs and desires will be a little bit different. But if you know you Why is why are you choosing to be together when you are past January 12, and it’s a little harder to stick up with your resolution, if you have a good solid, why it will motivate you and will motivate you when it’s difficult.

Kevin Anthony 27:25
Yeah, and you’re wise could be so many different things your wise could be we’re here to raise children that that’s acceptable why it could be that we’re here to do business

Céline Remy 27:36
together. We here to help each other be the best selves that we can ever be.

Kevin Anthony 27:42
Yeah, that’s an amazing one right is we’re here literally to help each other evolve. I mean, there’s so many different wise, what your why’s are doesn’t necessarily matter. Just make sure you know, you have one

Céline Remy 27:56
and that it’s compelling to you and it could be Mix and match, you know, it’s not just like one why, but it’s one solid concept, an idea that brings you together and really, like, motivates you forward,

Kevin Anthony 28:10
you can definitely have more than one Why? Yes, for sure. Not limited.

Céline Remy 28:16
So now that you have the basis you have, you know about making a priority, improving your communication and knowing you wise, but you are now ready for the how-tos and the strategies. We’ve got, like, probably 10 ish or so. different ideas. I don’t know, we didn’t even count them here. But different things that you can do for the year because you know, it’s easy to get stuck in doing the same thing over and over. Yeah,

Kevin Anthony 28:41
and they’re not in any particular order. We were just brainstorming a list off the top of our heads of things that would be really cool. So

Céline Remy 28:47
yeah, and some of them are on our lists. Absolutely. Alright, so number one is spending a date night to plan your date so had so this really cool thing that you can do together is to Create a datebook. And wherever you want to put ideas of things that are fun to do for the days when you have no inspiration, or you want to start, like finding coupons like cool things like “Groupon”. I was just on it the other day. And I was asking Kevin, hey, do you want to go? Like, what was it like that thing, that the trampoline thing, the nose, the sky

Kevin Anthony 29:21
The thing where you do the indoor skydiving.

Céline Remy 29:23
So what I noticed is a lot of cool things that I wouldn’t necessarily do. But it was a cool Groupon. And it’s something fun, and it wasn’t far from home. And I was like, these are cool ideas. So you can start to collect coupons. You can find them on Groupon if you want or just ideas of things that could be fun things that you’ve never done it so that now you have things to look forward to, especially for the days when you are really tired and it’s really hard to even come up with a good idea.

Kevin Anthony 29:52
Yeah, and I want to clarify this a little bit because there’s two things being merged into one here and this. The first one is to have a date night Right. So make sure that you have a date night. We’ve talked about this so many times if you if you’ve listened to our show, this is not a new concept to you. But still, we meet a lot of people who don’t set aside time to actually have just connected time on a date night. So the first thing is, is have a date night. Now, for those of you who already have a date night, I got check got that one. How many of you plan that date night ahead of time?

Kevin Anthony 30:27
Right, because it’s really easy to say we’ve got a date night we just know that you know, on whatever day that is Thursday, we have a date night, right? But do you just show up to date night and go okay, honey, what are we doing tonight, and there’s nothing wrong with that’s fine from time to time. But it would also be nice, especially if you want to make 2020 the best year ever, that you plan it ahead of time and that was your idea with creating a book of ideas and maybe coupons and activities and stuff and this is something great. Sit down and do it together. I know some of you guys you’re rolling your eyes Sit down and make a stupid book.

Kevin Anthony 31:02
But here’s the thing, here’s why I like it. And as a guy, I’m going to tell you why you should like it too. Because it takes all the pressure away from us, right? In other words, if, if the two of us sit down and we write down this list of ideas, I don’t have to think about it again. I don’t have to go, Oh, shit, it’s date night. Fuck, I forgot to play it loud. What are we going to do? Okay, let me think of something. What was that thing? She said, like a week or two ago, you know, I don’t have to do that. All I have to do is go to the book or go to the list.

Kevin Anthony 31:38
We’ve even used Google docs for this. I know you probably gonna laugh at us. But it’s all done. It’s easy. So you know for the guys who were probably were originally rolling their eyes thinking this sounds like a lot of work. Actually. It’s less work. You do it once.

Céline Remy 31:52
But it’s very exciting to come up with ideas together and think about staff You know, it starts your creative juices flowing. As we’ve talked about a lot of creation, energy, creative energy will bring a lot of sexual energy. So that’s really good energy to be generating on date night. If you’ve identified a problem in your relationship within your relationship, take action to solve it.

Céline Remy 32:18
So seek support and help whether you working with professionals, whoever you’re reaching out to coaches, people like us, or our are doing a workbook together or whatever that is, but if you’ve identified an issue, don’t just buried and pretend it’s not there, like, like, act on it, do things to make it better.

Kevin Anthony 32:38
Absolutely. And, you know, I thought this was really important to put on the list. Because if you’re going to make it a priority to make your relationship, the best ever, you got to get serious about addressing the things that don’t work, right. I mean, do you use an analogy, I don’t know. Pick one. You’ve got an older car, and it’s got a few things that aren’t quite working right with it and you’re like this year, I’m going to make that this car the most awesome car ever.

Kevin Anthony 33:02
Can you do that? If you don’t fix the things that are wrong with it? No, of course not. Right? So if you want to have the best year ever for sex, love, and relationship in 2020, you got to fix whatever is not working. So if you already know there are some parts not working, work on fixing them. Now, that could be a lot of things. It could be taking a workshop, it could be taking an online course, it could be working with a professional, it could be just sitting down and taking the time to work on it to get it whatever it is. Do something about it take action.

Céline Remy 33:35
Now very important, keep consistency throughout the year and don’t make the bar so high that you don’t achieve it.

Kevin Anthony 33:43
Yes. So you know, I threw out this idea of like, Yeah, when we were brainstorming for this, I said, I said yeah, you know, like, like make it a point to do something regularly. You know, like, like, if your partner’s love language is to receive gifts Then buy her flowers once a month and salines response was once a month. And I looked at it and I said, Look, I said, Let’s not set this bar so high that nobody can do it. From a guy’s point of view. He told me I have to get flowers every single week. I’m going to go Oh, shit, that’s a big responsibility. Like, that’s 52 times throughout the year. What if I forget? What if I’m busy? Like, you know, that’s instantly where I go? Once a month? That’s totally reasonable.

Céline Remy 34:28
Yeah, but from 52 to 12. Can we get something in between?

Kevin Anthony 34:31
Can we get not about the numbers? It’s about consistency. The real point is here All joking aside, you know, we’re having kind of fun with this. The real point here is that throughout the year consistently, you’re doing little thing after little thing after little thing to make your relationship better, then it doesn’t feel like so much work. And just like we said before, it’s better to practice 10 minutes every day than an hour once a week. Mm-hmm.

Céline Remy 35:00
A few ever fun ideas and maybe, maybe I’ll go through them a little bit quicker. Some of the cool ones that we had were a plant a garden. This was fun. We’ve done this together. And if you’re thinking I don’t have room, office garden was in pots, you can do this anywhere in the city. in the suburbs, like anywhere you can plant a garden potted one, but this was really fun to do together. Of course, you know, you can take a 30-day challenge. We’ve taken a few ourselves…remember the 30-day blow job challenge

Kevin Anthony 35:30
and 30-day sex challenge.

Céline Remy 35:33
Exactly. If you haven’t listened to those episodes, go back to them because they were really fun and they might inspire you a lot. Of course, make sure you have sex regularly.

Kevin Anthony 35:43
What looks if you’re gonna make 2020 the best year for sex, love, and relationship. You got to have sex, you gotta have love, and you got to have a relationship. Remember, you don’t have to have a relationship to have sex but anyway you get the point, right? Is that you really need to make a priority. Hmm,

Céline Remy 36:02
yeah, go for it. Here are some fun things that you can do together because, by the way, you can have sex with yourself. You don’t have to have somebody else let’s just have sex

Kevin Anthony 36:10
because sex is good for you. And you could have love and relationship with yourself too. So technically you can do all of this on your own. Yes, totally possible.

Céline Remy 36:18
Absolutely. And here’s the thing when you feel so fulfilled and happy you have this beautiful energy, it’s very attractive so guess what the new will call and the partner that you want That’s

Kevin Anthony 36:29
right.

Céline Remy 36:31
She can take a road trip together these are fun but only if you’ve improved communication let’s be real

Kevin Anthony 36:38
No shit.

Céline Remy 36:40
You can go campaign if you okay pooping next to each other, you know, which requires a certain degree of intimacy but once you’ve liked, you know to move past that it can make camping really fun, just bring some lives.

Kevin Anthony 36:53
And then when I taught you how to pooping the

Céline Remy 36:57
very first time Yes, I was like he gave me a shovel. And the toilet paper and lights, the matches and I was like what am I supposed to do and he’s supposed to dig a hole in there and then you burn the paper. So that’s just

Kevin Anthony 37:12
one of the Eco ways to get rid of it is to burn it but you have to be very careful if you’re in the backcountry that you don’t like the whole backcountry on fire. Exactly.

Céline Remy 37:19
And then you cover everything Yeah, but I was like, Oh my god, this is so complicated. It was at the beginning of our relationship was like, I don’t know. I mean, should I have you come with me and you were like, Celine, this is simple. You can do this.

Kevin Anthony 37:33
Enough about that.

Céline Remy 37:35
Okay, yeah, let’s move on. This little fancier here. Stay in a fancy hotel. You don’t have to go anywhere ever stay new town like make it a staycation just like for one night to go to a fancy hotel and just like do something different. eat at home instead of the restaurant and cook together. Or each takes charge one of the free course meal or something like this, you know, she can make the appetizer. He makes them a full meal of reverse and each other’s desserts, you know, whatever that is,

Kevin Anthony 38:04
You know, a lot of people think the other way around, like, we’re gonna do something special, we’re going to go out and eat, right. But we’d like to turn that around, upside down and say, do it as an activity together. It’s not just about the eating, it’s actually about the prepping and then working together in the sharing and the bonding and the communicating and all that.

Céline Remy 38:23
Absolutely. And then learn a new skill for 2020 whether it’s together or separate. There’s something that happens when you learn new things, it fires new neurons in your brains and synapses. And it’s like, I don’t know makes you again, more creative, more inspired and you bring that into your relationship. It brings that energy. And whenever you try to do something together, or you do it on your own and bring that juice back to your relationship, it will benefit your relationship. Absolutely.

Kevin Anthony 38:52
Lots of new skills you could be learning like had a last longer in the bedroom.

Céline Remy 39:00
Ultimately, what you want to do is to create a space, like space for your relationship to grow. So it’s like that plant you want to water it regularly. But you also want to make it safe and fun to be 100% yourself. Find somebody where you can be yourself, all of you where all of you is welcomed because this is how life becomes so much more fun. And remember, anytime give more than you take. Remember that 4060 rule, people think that it always has to be like 50/50 in a relationship, successful relationship. And this is our secret is 40/60. You give 60% and take 40% but you both do that.

Céline Remy 39:43
And that’s our secret. And that’s going to make 2020 the most juices. Fantastic and sexiest year ever for your sex life. Love Life in all your relationships.

Kevin Anthony 39:58
Alright, so there you go. You have everything you need to get started making 2020 the best year ever for your sex, love, and relationships.

Céline Remy 40:10
Are you ready? Go and keep us posted. Send us an email. Let us know how it’s going. We love to hear from you. Absolutely.

Kevin Anthony 40:17
And that’s it for this episode. We’ll see you all next week. We hope you liked this episode of the love lab podcast. If you enjoyed this show, leave a comment and share it with your friends.

Céline Remy 40:33
And if you want more, we have an entire digital library with the best sex tips and Relationship Advice at Celineremy.com. That’s clinemy.com So join us in the sex vault to continue this adventure.

Kevin Anthony 40:50
Thanks for listening.

Céline Remy 40:51
And remember, you’re amazing