Do Twin Flame/Soul Mate Relationships Exist?

Kevin Anthony 0:12
Welcome to the love lab podcast a safe place to get real about sex. Whether you’re a man, woman, single or couple, this is the show for you. Because, well, sex. We are your hosts Kevin Anthony and Céline Remy.

Kevin Anthony 0:27
Alright, welcome back to the love lab podcast. This is Episode 73. And it’s called dude, twin flames slash soulmates really exist. Yeah, this is such an interesting topic, because we have had this question come up so many times, and we’ve had so many friends, acquaintances, people we’ve met that claim to be one or the other. And our observation is not so much. We’re going to go into what is the difference between the two? And what does it all mean? And do they exist and all that kind of stuff.

Céline Remy 1:11
And this episode is for you wherever you are in a relationship and you’re thinking, Oh darn, I missed it because I’m not with my soulmate, or whether you are looking at actively like making your meditations and vision boards to call in your twin flame, soulmate relationship, whatever that is. There’s going to be a little bit for everyone. Ultimately, what we really want to do is to remove the myths and the wrong ideas around that.

Céline Remy 1:38
Because what we truly want is for people to find a love that is truly fulfilling independently of the label. And this is really where we’re heading. But before we get started, let’s give a shout out to our sponsor. If you want to join the secret club of men who are great in bed, and trust me, you want to The power and mastery at power and mastery.com This is the most complete sexual mastery training for men. Check it out powerandmastery.com.

Kevin Anthony 2:11
Alright, so as I said when we first started, we’ve heard this so many times from people all we’re twin flames or Oh, we’re soul mates are but so what exactly do those things mean? And what I hear is a lot of people use those terms interchangeably and they’re actually not the same thing. So let’s just start with what the difference between the two is.

Céline Remy 2:37
And full disclosure. We are not claiming to be experts in soulmates’ twin flames relationship. But, you know, as I was writing down definitions, I was like, Well, our relationship could still fit in those.

Kevin Anthony 2:53
As we’ll get to later on in the episode, it doesn’t really matter which one you fall into. There are some basic things that you should be doing in any relationship. We’ll get to that.

Céline Remy 3:05
So what’s a soul mate? So according to, to some of the definitions that we found online, it’s two separate individual souls that are so similar that they feel like they are cut of the same cloth. The purpose of meeting your soulmate is to further your spiritual growth and to do your spiritual work. Okay.

Kevin Anthony 3:27
Okay. So, yes, that’s a good definition. And let’s expand on that a little bit. So what are we really talking about when we’re talking about soulmates here? So as you read in that definition, right, this is two separate people, their individuals, their individual souls, if you will, if you like that word, that is so similar, that they just really work well together and that they choose To come together to help each other’s own evolution. Now, there’s another kind of relationship that helps your evolution also. But it’s very different than a soulmate relationship.

Kevin Anthony 4:19
So I want to make that distinction between the two because, in a soulmate relationship, it’s supposed to feel easy. It’s supposed to feel like it just flows. These people bring more joy and love and happiness in the world doesn’t mean they’re not going to challenge you. Doesn’t mean it’s all going to be you know, rainbows and unicorns and butterflies. But overall, you’re going to feel like, life is better. Life is easier. It just flows better when you’re with this particular person.

Céline Remy 4:52
Mm-hmm. So do you want to talk about the ever relationship that you’re talking about or you want to go into twin flames next

Kevin Anthony 5:01
Let’s go into twin flames next, and then we’ll get to the third one.

Céline Remy 5:05
Okay? All right, so let’s get to our twin flames. So twin flame is a concept that comes from ancient philosopher mystics and sages that say that at the time your soul is created, it splits into two. One half is the divine masculine and one half is the divine feminine. It was interesting doing the research on that because there are two philosophies and two ideas. Some people say it’s one soul that split in half and then you kind of walk around the Earth trying to find the other half to be completed.

Céline Remy 5:40
And then there’s the other school of thoughts which I tend to believe in more which says, Hey, a soul is whole as itself and you are never like not complete needing that. either has to complete you so you are sovereign on your own. Your soul is sovereign and you are resonating with somebody at that level where it’s like I see it more as like twin like a kind of copycats of you. Rather than like, it’s the ones that sliced in half, but that’s a personal opinion.

Kevin Anthony 6:17
Okay, so there’s this idea that the time of your soul’s creation, it was split into two, right? And so what they say when that happens is that it creates this yearning to be complete. That’s how people always say, Well, you know, how do you know if it’s your twin flame? It’s because you feel complete finally when they’re there. Okay. But here’s the other thing they say about twin flames that is probably going to disappoint a lot of you who think you’re in twin flame relationships.

Kevin Anthony 6:52
It’s that they say that both halves rarely ever incarnate at the same time. So according to the same mystics and sages who, who came up with the idea of their being twin flame souls, they also say that most of the time, one incarnate and the other one stays in whatever other realms they’re in, and helps from there. So given how rare it is for a soul to split into two, and the fact that they almost never incarnate at the same time, what do you think the chances are that we would know, say, half a dozen couples who think they’re twin flames in our own little circle?

Céline Remy 7:41
So one thing that I find interesting is the concept of the divine masculine and divine feminine What if it wasn’t split in half? But what if, as a soul You came in with that energy, that’s Yin energy, if you are the feminine, that’s young energy if you’re masculine and this is this yearning of coming back together, and we are talking here about polarity. Again, I know it’s a theme that comes back over and over in every episode that we do.

Céline Remy 8:08
But that polarity of the masculine and feminine rebalancing the energies that are independent, it’s not linked to your gender. It’s linked to energy. What if twin flames were more about really embodying that and if you are that he and soul looking for that young soul and then you really have that perfect yin and yang polarity that happens and connection?

Kevin Anthony 8:35
Well, I would say that’s just as possible. There’s the other idea. But so, yeah, when we were talking about soulmate relationships, we were saying, or at least I was saying that, that it’s supposed to feel easy, and it just flows and you’re like you resonate. It’s like it just works. Mm-hmm. Well, think about a twin flame relationship. Think about if you are Soul truly was split into two. And now you’re being reunited and being whole again. Okay. Well, I imagine that that would feel really good. Like that would feel like I’m finally me again.

Kevin Anthony 9:18
Like, oh, yeah, like, this should be amazing. I can tell you from, you know, knowing people that say they are twin flames, and this is more than one couple. What I experience is that they have a lot of struggles. The way they sort of explain away the struggles, go, Wow, well, we’re twin flame, we’re twin flames. So you know, that’s just the way it is. It’s like, logically in my mind, if I’m being reunited with the other half of my soul and I can’t get along with that other half then either the really isn’t the other half? Or I really just don’t like myself that much.

Céline Remy 10:06
So could it be that it’s being mistaken for something else… a third relationship, which I believe it is,

Kevin Anthony 10:16
I think most of the time it is given how rare twin flame incarnations supposably are. I would say that it is something else and this third one that we’ve kind of left for last here. You could be in a soulmate relationship and be or you could be in this third one and mistake it for either a soul.

Céline Remy 10:41
Soulmate or twin flame.

Kevin Anthony 10:43
Or a twin flame. Yes, that’s what I’m trying to say. And this is the karmic relationship.

Céline Remy 10:48
Yeah. So what’s interesting in a karmic relationship, it’s usually some agreements that you’ve made with people before you came here if you believe in all of that again, you know, and take all of this before a grain of salt. But hey, it seems like it would make sense since we do come back and learn a few things over and over because we’re pretty slow in our development oftentimes. So oftentimes, that’s the lessons that you weren’t able to learn over a lifetime, you know, then you make an agreement to come back and, hey, let’s do this all over again.

Céline Remy 11:21
Those relationships tend to be painful when you go through them. They have a lot of challenges. And to me, these are karmic relationships. These are not soulmate relationships. These are not twin flames relationship because like it cannot be that painful like Kevin said if you are in this really ideal relationship. Now does it mean again that you don’t have any time where you get your human right so you might get triggered?

Céline Remy 11:51
Yeah, you might have listened to our date night gone wrong episode. You know that, hey, we still have every now and then things where we don’t handle their emotions variable. Well, and it happens to everyone. But the core of the relationship, the foundation of the relationship is easy is it flows, it’s natural. It’s not forced. Yeah.

Kevin Anthony 12:11
And so, you know, maybe an example of that is something like, you know, in a soulmate relationship, the person is here to help you develop in the best way possible, right? So they might say, Hey, I’m going to teach you this thing. And let’s, let’s do this in a, in a positive way that uplifts each other. Right? for pleasure, pleasure, whereas your karmic relationship is like, whoo hoo, you know that that sore spot that you have, because you haven’t done the work?

Kevin Anthony 12:44
I’m going to irritate the fuck out of that sore spot until you finally get off your ass and do something about it. That’s your karmic relationship. Right? And so when you see people in these relationships that are caused At least struggling and having these ups and downs and triggering each other left and right and yeah, and yet they say, but we can’t separate because we’re twin flames. No, you’re not.

Céline Remy 13:11
You’re codependent in a dysfunctional relationship.

Kevin Anthony 13:14
Yeah. And you’re possibly in a karmic relationship where you’re just there to push each other’s buttons until you finally get off your ass.

Céline Remy 13:23
So these labels may feel good. And I think there’s a trap here. Number one is that oftentimes these concepts are superficial and romanticized ideals, and they’re just not really real are based on the unreal thing you got to remember Love is a choice. It’s the actions that you take every single day. The idea of expecting that your partner is going to fill in the gap. Just because you didn’t do your own work is a recipe for disaster. And that idea that you are like a half a soul that needs to be completed is just wrong.

Kevin Anthony 14:00
Right, I would love to add something to getting fired. But here’s the thing, here’s what here’s. So speaking of the trap, where I think a lot of people end up when you look at a lot of people in this world, they often in today’s modern society, they feel kind of empty. And, you know, they feel different for a lot of reasons because, the way our society is structured and the way we live our lives is so disconnected and so unfulfilling in so many ways, that people feel this sort of emptiness. And they try to fill it in lots of different ways.

Kevin Anthony 14:38
They’ll fill it with food, they’ll fill it with work, they’ll fill it with dysfunctional relationships. They’ll fill it by overexercising with addictions, with addictions, drugs, alcohol, to try to fill that hole and a lot of different ways. But one of those ways that they try to fill that hole is with another person and us. When somebody comes in and they don’t, you know, now you have a partner and you don’t feel alone anymore. You don’t maybe feel as sad anymore because you’re not sitting at home by yourself on a Friday night going, Oh, what was me I’m all by myself, you know, all of a sudden people go, Oh, I’m feeling more complete.

Kevin Anthony 15:20
This must be my twin flame. Despite all the other signs that are present that show how it’s really not a twin flame. So I think that’s part of the trap is this whole idea that if you start to feel more complete by being with somebody that therefore they must be this twin flame, the other half of your soul? And most likely know, most likely, you’ve just got some holes in yourself that you need to patch up.

Céline Remy 15:48
Mm-hmm. And, and this is really, this is a really good conversation, Kevin. I think that you need to do the work to Be able to really love yourself and be okay with who you are in Patch those holes, because anytime you are going to patch the holes from something from the outside, whether it’s another person or it’s an addiction or something else that fills in that hole, whenever that thing disappears, you will be right back to where you started. That means you are giving your power away. That means you are not being fully empowered and sovereign into who you are. And that means that it cannot be a balanced relationship.

Kevin Anthony 16:28
Yes, that’s the main problem, because then you become dependent. Yes. Yeah. And that’s not anything. I mean, think about, you know, using too much alcohol or drugs to fill the hole. Right, you become dependent on those substances. And when you don’t have them, you go right back to feeling terrible again. Well, there are tons of people that fill that hole with a relationship. And then they’re often not the right relationship, and it’s obvious to nearly everyone.

Céline Remy 16:54
Yeah. So, you know, like, I never really cared so much about those labels. Like I never was old Kevin, you’re my twin flame. Why’d you do my soul mate or whatever that is, you know, we have people that I think twin flames to use soulmates Oh yeah, somebody actually said

Kevin Anthony 17:12
Oh, yeah, I know who you guys are. Oh, yeah, you guys are twin flames too, right? I

Céline Remy 17:16
don’t really like to share, you know, whatever makes you happy? Sure. I don’t know. It’s a label. You know, I know some people say oh if you really worried that you were you wouldn’t question that. But here’s what I know. I’ve had multiple relationships over the years. And the relationship that I am in with Kevin is so easy. It’s fun. And it’s I don’t feel like you complete me but I just really enjoy being around you.

Céline Remy 17:44
What I noticed is that the best parts of myself got turned on when I’m around you. And I just want to be the best person that I can be. I am inspired, the love that I feel for you and that I feel from You as well inspires me and I want to share it with people around. I feel like everyone who gets in contact with us is uplifted just because of who we are together. Now, does that fit one of the definitions? Does that make us soulmates or twin flames? Maybe, but I don’t really care. What I care about is how I feel when I’m in the relationship and how my relationship affects the ones around me.

Kevin Anthony 18:26
Absolutely. So 100% yes to everything you just said. I mean, totally true. I feel completely the same way. And, and if I was forced to put it into one of these definitions, I would say it’s probably soulmate. But again, I don’t care either. And I never say we’re soulmates. I certainly don’t introduce us to new people going. Hi, we’re Kevin and Celine. We’re soulmates. And there’s nothing wrong with it if that’s what you do, but But yeah, I just, you know, the label doesn’t really matter. matter to me at all.

Céline Remy 19:01
And for some people, they use that I was reading this study that showed that people who post all over Facebook and social media is how happy they are and how amazing their relationships are. Statistically speaking, they tend to be less happy than those whose post less on social media but their relationship

Kevin Anthony 19:19
Yeah, cuz they’re, they’re busy being happy.

Céline Remy 19:21
Exactly. And so sometimes it makes me wonder when you go around calling each other, a twin flame or soul mate and constantly focusing on that in the relationship,

Kevin Anthony 19:33
it might be to help you to feel the bomb because the relationship is not solid enough. So you need to put that label to help you feel that connection. I have personally witnessed multiple twin flame relationships that have disintegrated and not stayed together. And, and I’m bringing that up because we have some myths about twin flame relationships. And so that’s relevant to the list. myths, so I thought it can be kind of fun to go through that. Sure, since we’re talking about labels, and whether or not people are these things.

Céline Remy 20:08
So number one, there is an idea that you can manifest your twin flames for meditation and, and visualization. And ultimately, I believe in the power of visualization in positive thinking. But if that’s really a twin flame, it has to be on divine timing, and you can’t force it. And so I think that’s a myth that you can make this happen really like on your own accord. I think you can prepare yourself for it, and you can welcome it, but I don’t think you can, will it? So that’s myth number one.

Kevin Anthony 20:40
Yeah. So it’s gonna take a little bit more than just meditation.

Céline Remy 20:45
And I think some of the steps we’re going to give you will help you to call that relationship in. Number two, Kevin, go for it. All right.

Kevin Anthony 20:54
A twin flame connection is better than a soulmate connection. This is not necessarily Rarely true. Unless, of course, you think being by yourself is the greatest thing ever. Right? I mean, so if you’re going with the idea that the twin flame really is the other half of yourself, okay? Yeah, I’m sure it feels great to be whole. I mean, that sounds great. Everybody wants to be whole. Yeah. But think about what somebody else brings into your life.

Kevin Anthony 21:27
Think about I mean, this is, to me be one of the greatest gifts of every relationship I’ve ever had in this lifetime, is that every single one of them has brought new things to me, that I may not have experienced. Without them. I mean, literally everyone, I can look at every one of them and go, Oh, this person brought that into my life and this person brought that into my life and this one that, you know, exposed me to this.

Céline Remy 21:54
I think the idea to that this is better than that is such an old paradigm where we put things on a pedestal and I’m better than this or you’re better than that. And like, this doesn’t really work in the new paradigm of the next-level relationship. I think like, it just again matters about how you feel in the relationship and what the relationship does into the world rather than the labels are saying one is better than the other.

Céline Remy 22:22
Okay, I’m going to take the number 3, because I like, that one. Twin flames are the most passionate and have the best sex. And I think that like Kevin mentioned earlier, a lot of twin flames are being mistaken when they just karmic relationship and people use sex as a way to make their relationship work and patch those holes and call these twin flames. They don’t really have sacred sexuality and connection and divine union.

Céline Remy 22:55
And just because you can have passionate sex from being at opposite being You disagree doesn’t make this for the best sex in your life. And that’s also something that will tend to disappear over time as you get more used to one another. So that’s an idea too. And I think also that you have to realize that not all twin flames are designed to be in a romantic relationship.

Kevin Anthony 23:21
I want to just for a second, go back to the point you made about the sex and twin flames. Just because yeah, this idea that it’s a trap for all relationships is really what I want to say. The best way to form it, but this idea that just because you have a passionate Spark, that somehow means that this is the relationship. That’s the big trap and whether we’re talking about soul mates and twin flames or whatever. It’s the same in any relationship.

Kevin Anthony 23:58
We have seen so many people people who stay together for longer than they should have. And the one thing that they say is, but we have such great sex. Okay, so you’ve got chemistry, you’ve got passion, but you’ve got nothing else. Other than that, is that really the foundation of a strong relationship? No,

Céline Remy 24:19
no. And I don’t think that if you were thinking about the concept of the twin flame of like, coming to make the world a better place, if 90% of the time you’re not being happy in the relationship, and you’re fighting, but then 10% of the time you have great sex, I don’t think you are using that energy or putting that energy in the world and making a difference in the right direction. That’s

Kevin Anthony 24:41
I agree. Yeah, totally. All right, myth number four twin flames always find each other. Well, you know, we said at the beginning of this that, you know, according to the spiritual teachers that brought up the idea of twin flames, they almost never incarnate The same lifetime so we know a lot of people who say I’m searching for my twin flame. I’m searching for my twin flame imagine I’m holding on

Céline Remy 25:11
for the right one

Kevin Anthony 25:13
yeah, that twin flame relationship. Yeah except your twin if it exists is probably up there somewhere going just go fuck somebody come on

Céline Remy 25:29
Okay, number five you cannot be complete without your twin flame. And that is such a myth that is so off because ultimately you have to feel whole and complete with who you are back to the same concept that we talked about earlier. You can’t get into a relationship with so many holes to be patched because you never going to be able to have the most uplifting relationship. You need to come into a relationship fully hold so that you can, then from that place on rising higher.

Kevin Anthony 26:09
Yeah. And like you said at the beginning of this, you’re always complete. And even if you believe in the idea of twin flames, you know, one of the things they say is that, as I just mentioned, they don’t often incarnate in the same lifetime. But what that means is, they say, at least anyway, that one half stays in the spirit realm and is connected to you. And it’s actually guiding you and helping you through this lifetime, even though they’re not physically present here with you. Which means that you are actually whole, whether they’re physically here or not.

Céline Remy 26:46
And the way to connect is by tuning in, not looking out by starting to listen, listen to you guys. Listen, gates listening to that other half if you want to call it like this, whatever the words you use. But ultimately, it’s by tuning in that you reach those places. So again, it’s about really connecting with yourself. So I think one of the takeaways from everything that we’ve been talking so far is that, yes, everybody wants to be in the twin flame.

Céline Remy 27:18
But regardless of the type that you in, all relationships have the potential to help you learn, grow and evolve. Like I said earlier, love is a choice. And it doesn’t have to be complicated or difficult. And that’s the biggest thing that I want people to remember because there is this misconception that those relationships are painful, they’re going to make you grow and it’s going to be through pain, but this is because we are twin flames, and that’s how we’re going to go through the world.

Céline Remy 27:46
And I think that this is such an old concept that we need to absolute debt and not bring into this new year as we are getting ready to embark on 2020 if you are listening to this, as being released, let’s set up a new intention, a new intention for this year to bring balance to the feminine and masculine within to bring balance in the relationship and within yourself because that is what is going to change the world. If you are fully in harmony within yourself, you will reach it that and will be seen in the world.

Kevin Anthony 28:26
Yeah. And so when it comes to bringing your relationships with other people, not just yourself into balance, we have some tips to help you do that. Mm-hmm. So the first one is to let go of expectations and fantasies. Right And so, I’m so glad this is first on the list, right? Because this whole concept of soulmates and twin flames and you know, all of this stuff is, in a way an expectation or fantasy. And like you said you don’t really like to use labels.

Kevin Anthony 29:00
Yeah, we don’t really need the labels we don’t need to define this relationship is this one or this one or this one, and just try to have good relationships. Mm-hmm. And if you let go of those expectations and fantasies, then you can be more in the present. And this is really where stuff happens. It’s the now where everything happened. The past is gone, and the future hasn’t happened yet. God is right now.

Céline Remy 29:27
Number two, you want to embrace the relationship fully. And why that means is to be fully in. A lot of people are thinking there might be something else somewhere else the grass is probably greener. So I’m going to have just one foot here, maybe one finger in this relationship. But this is not going to work if you can’t commit fully to the relationship no matter how long the relationship is going to last but if you can’t be 100% in don’t bother being in the relationship.

Kevin Anthony 29:54
And this is one of the traps of searching for the soul mate or the twin flame. You’re in a relationship. You either think they’re not or you’re not sure. And you’re never a hundred percent in because you’re always like, well, what if? What if the twin flame shows up?

Céline Remy 30:11
Yeah, exactly. You can’t live in that. Oh, I love this one. Now, remember, don’t date someone for their potential.

Kevin Anthony 30:22
Oh, yes,

Céline Remy 30:24
We could do a whole episode on that, really?

Kevin Anthony 30:26
Maybe we should do a whole episode on that. So what do we mean by that? So that’s when you get into a relationship and you say, Oh my god, he or she is so perfect if they would just change this thing. Or if they could just do this, it would be amazing, right? It’s looking at a relationship and thinking that it’s the right one to be in because somebody has the potential to be a certain kind of lover or the potential to have a certain job or the potential to make a certain amount of money or the potential for whatever You have to be with somebody for who they are right now.

Kevin Anthony 31:06
Because change sometimes happens. And sometimes it doesn’t. Or you know as Tony Robbins is famous for saying change happens in an instant. The problem with that is it might take you 30 years to make it to that instant. Right?

Céline Remy 31:24
And I always tell people, if you look at your relationship and fast forward four years down the line if nothing changed, could you still be 100% happy and be satisfied with your relationship? And if you are answering no then you need to make some changes. Either attempt the relationship or change things in the relationship change yourself, obviously, show up differently, because it’s not going to be a successful relationship. If you cannot be happy where you are now.

Céline Remy 32:03
And I think that leads to that last step where like when it comes to challenges, most importantly you need to be the kind of person you would want to be in a relationship with. And you need to take a close look at how you are interacting in the relationship how you are showing up. Are you always prioritizing other people on your roof prioritizing your partner? Are you giving them attention affection daily, like any of these things? Or are you bitching, moaning, complaining. Are you distant? Are you just not there like what is happening, and take a good look.

Céline Remy 32:41
And then really be honest with yourself. If you look at who you are, and you’re like, wow, I wouldn’t even want to be in that relationship with myself. You know, then make the changes.

Kevin Anthony 32:54
If you don’t want to be in a relationship with yourself, then nobody else is going to be in a relationship with you either. So if you see that looking back at you in the mirror, you got to make some changes.

Céline Remy 33:06
So I hope this was helpful in bringing some awareness that relationships don’t have to just be defined by the labels. There’s not one that’s better than the other. It has a lot to do with how you feel and how you impact the world. And those labels, oftentimes are used as a way to justify a very dysfunctional relationship and don’t be that person anymore. Stand up for love. Stand up for a higher relating, because that’s what the world needs right now. Mm-hmm. It sure does.

Kevin Anthony 33:42
All right, everybody, believe it or not, that is it’s not just for this episode. But for 2019. This is our last episode of 2019, we will be back. Even bigger, better. All right, everybody. That’s all the time we have for this episode and we will see you next year.

Kevin Anthony 34:13
We hope you liked this episode of the love lab podcast. If you enjoyed this show, leave a comment and share it with your friends.

Céline Remy 34:20
And if you want more, we have an entire digital library with the best sex tips and Relationship Advice at CelineRemy.com. That’s clinemy.com So join us in the sex vault to continue this adventure.

Kevin Anthony 34:37
Thanks for listening.

Céline Remy 34:38
And remember, you’re amazing.