9 Types Of Women To Avoid & Not Marry!

Kevin Anthony 0:11
Welcome to the Love Lab podcast a safe place to get real about sex. Whether you’re a man or woman, single or couple, this is the show for you.

Céline Remy 0:20
We are your hosts, Kevin Anthony and Céline Remy and we are here to guide you to go from good to amazing in the bedroom and beyond.

Kevin Anthony 0:27
All right, welcome back to the Love Lab podcast. This is episode 210. And it’s titled, nine types of women to avoid and not marry. Oh, I already hear people going crazy. What? Why are you picking on women? Why didn’t you do it? nine types of men?

Kevin Anthony 0:47
Maybe we’ll do that in the next episode. But you know, one of the things that we do when we’re figuring out what we’re going to talk about as we look at things that are trending, like what are what do people want to know? What is out there in, you know, the sort of mainstream right now like, you know, what are people talking about?

Kevin Anthony 1:07
What are the topics that are popular, not just to get ratings, but because they’re popular for a reason? Because this is the stuff people want to know. So, believe it or not, if you research it, you will find way more on nine types of women to avoid than you will nine types of men and it doesn’t mean there aren’t men to avoid.

Kevin Anthony 1:28
There are without a doubt there are men to avoid. How about a toxic macho asshole guy? He’s a guy to avoid. We could go on, but I won’t. I just needed to get that out of the way up front. Okay, now for a little lightness. Laughter. Something you found a funny quote?

Céline Remy 1:50
Yes. I never knew what true happiness was until I got married. And then it was too late.

Kevin Anthony 1:59
That is attributed to WC Fields.

Céline Remy 2:02
Not 100% Sure, but it’s funny. Nonetheless, it is we thought, you know, we would start, you know, with a little humor there.

Kevin Anthony 2:09
Okay. So all joking aside, there are you know, look, marriage is a big deal. It is a big deal. And, you know, you brought up a very interesting point when we were putting the show together.

Kevin Anthony 2:23
So I’m gonna, I’m going to talk about this, but I’m going to tell you, I’m not the one that really said it and said, Hey, we should talk about this on the show. Well,

Céline Remy 2:32
I’ll bring some of the points and then you can expand on that. I think that marriage is definitely much riskier for men than it is for women. Why am I saying that? Well, because in today’s society, the way the law has been designed, is usually working in favor of the woman.

Céline Remy 2:53
What that means is, if there’s a divorce, usually, the man ends up having to pay for Alemany loses his wealth, loses his children, everything basically. And he ends up way worse than he was when he started.

Kevin Anthony 3:12
You know, what’s interesting about that is that wasn’t always the case. No, and part of the reason why the laws ended up the way that they have is that it used to be riskier for women because women didn’t have careers, they didn’t earn their own money, and they were totally dependent on men.

Kevin Anthony 3:27
And if the marriage went south, they have basically held hostage because they had nowhere they could go because they had no money, no job, no way of income. They were stuck with raising the kids because that’s primarily the woman’s job.

Kevin Anthony 3:39
And so I can see how the laws started to gravitate towards that. But we don’t actually live in that society anymore. No, we haven’t for decades. You know, and you can still talk about the wage gap and all that kind of stuff. You know, there are studies that say the wage gap doesn’t really exist before your heads explode.

Kevin Anthony 4:00
Maybe it does, maybe it doesn’t. But the point is women are perfectly capable now of holding careers and making money and taking care of themselves. They don’t need a man for that anymore.

Céline Remy 4:08
Actually, stats show that there are more women who are who have wealth than men, statistically speaking,

Kevin Anthony 4:15
possibly, I don’t know that stat. But I mean, I have seen some things that show, you know, like CEO positions and things like that, where that gap doesn’t really exist. And sometimes they actually get paid more. But anyway, with that, that’s not really the point of this conversation.

Céline Remy 4:32
Well, the point is really, marriage is wonderful, we are married, we love being married, but you’ve got to choose the right person. And today, our goal is to really help you see who you shouldn’t marry because it could be held.

Kevin Anthony 4:51
Right and absolutely. So just to finish that little bit about you know, things have changed. It is actually now riskier for the man because the man stands to lose a lot more if it goes south. Now I know some people are going, but what if the woman’s the one that’s bringing all the wealth? Okay? That’s possible.

Kevin Anthony 5:08
But the courts rarely ever give half of that to him. Sometimes they do but is not really common. The other thing is, is the children. I mean, the statistics are very clear that the woman almost always gets the children or the majority of the custody of the children.

Kevin Anthony 5:25
Regardless, I mean, the guy that means the woman would have to be a complete degenerate, really, to lose custody. And honestly, personally, we have known some people where the woman was a complete degenerate. And the court originally took the kids away, and then ended up giving them back.

Kevin Anthony 5:43
So you can see things are very lopsided, so So your point is well taken that it is risky for men. Of course, it’s risky for women to we’re not denying that. However, this is going to be about nine types of women.

Kevin Anthony 5:56
So since it is risky for you men, we want to make sure that you learn how to pick the right one, as you were saying, as best you can, you know, that brings up a couple of other points, by the way, such as, you know, so we’re gonna talk about women to avoid, but we could also talk a lot about what to look for.

Kevin Anthony 6:19
Maybe we’ll cover a little bit of that more towards the end if we have time. First, a shout out to our sponsor, however. All right, do you want to join the secret club of men who are great in bed and check out power and mastery, it’s the most complete sexual mastery training for men, whether you want to have harder erections, last longer, or increase your sexual skills, there is something for you at power mastery.com,

Kevin Anthony 6:42
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Kevin Anthony 7:01
And if you buy it now, don’t worry, because you get free access to every update for the rest of your life, anything new that we add to it, you will have access even if you buy now, it is really worth it if you’re looking to up your skills. Okay. Let’s just dive right into the

Céline Remy 7:18
first. And there’s no real order, like, no, no,

Kevin Anthony 7:22
these aren’t in any particular order. These are just a random list of stuff. I’m also going to give some personal examples of women I’ve dated who fall into some of these categories. So if you’re listening, it’s probably not you. It was somebody else.

Céline Remy 7:44
So number one is the needy, insecure woman.

Kevin Anthony 7:48
Okay, so the needy, insecure woman, it’s like, basically, you are her only focus. So she needs constant reassurance. Then there’s, there’s like these insidious aspects to our personalities, like, the jealousy creeps in and neediness and she doesn’t have the emotional resources to deal with stuff.

Kevin Anthony 8:07
And, you know, she’s not able to resolve conflicts. This one is tough, because, you know, as guys, you know, we want to be the guy that fixes stuff, right? And we actually really want our woman to want and need us if we feel like we have a purpose when she needs us to do stuff.

Kevin Anthony 8:31
But there’s a line, right? And at a certain point, it just gets to be too much. And it gets to be draining, and it gets to be difficult on the relationship. So I actually did date somebody that I would put into the needy, insecure category. Now, I will say this, when we got together, I was very much in a part of my life where I really wanted to explore open relationships.

Kevin Anthony 9:01
And so I was very upfront about that and said, Hey, I’m not looking for a serious one-on-one relationship. I already have another lover. And here’s what I’m willing to do. She said, Okay, great. No problem. Let’s do it. And we did. And the longer we were in that relationship together, the worse it got the needy she got, the more triggered she got by everything, and the more insecure she got.

Kevin Anthony 9:27
I had to preface this by saying, to a certain extent, that I understand that because open relationships are not easy to navigate. But it really got out of hand at a certain point. The neediness is the need for constant reassurance. It was just draining. It was literally emotionally exhausting.

Kevin Anthony 9:49
And it’s ultimately what ended that relationship because I just couldn’t take it anymore. I’m just like, it’s just too much. It’s like, I don’t know how many times I can tell you that. Is that and the other thing? How many different ways I can tell it’s to you? Like at some point you either have to believe it or not. And if not, then leave the relationship.

Céline Remy 10:09
So one of the things you’re saying is you like for women to need you because then you feel like you can do your job. But in that particular scenario, it doesn’t matter what you do. It’s never going to be enough. And she’s never going to be happy. So you’re never winning?

Kevin Anthony 10:27
Exactly. Yeah, exactly. Yep. And as we talk about these different types, you’ll realize that some of these types bleed into the other types, right? So, for instance, the needy, insecure woman can also often exhibit our number two,

Céline Remy 10:48
which is the drama queen.

Kevin Anthony 10:51
The drama queen or

Céline Remy 10:53
drama queen is very interesting because you can be guilty of everything. You said the wrong thing. While you said wrong with the wrong intonation. You didn’t laugh at the right time.

Céline Remy 11:06
Or you didn’t enjoy the joke, or you did this the wrong way. Anyway, it’s just like, there’s always something wrong. It doesn’t matter what do you do. And then she just will like, unleash your anger and resentment on you.

Kevin Anthony 11:22
Have you ever been in a relationship where you felt like you were walking on eggshells, right? You know, the expression like, You got to, you gotta tread very lightly, right? Because you never knew at what moment some sort of drama was just gonna mysteriously pop up.

Kevin Anthony 11:40
And it can be, you know, you said something wrong, or you didn’t react the right way. Or you talk to the wrong person. It can be all those little things. But it can also be big things, too. So I am also, unfortunately, the drama queen. I didn’t know she was a drama queen.

Kevin Anthony 11:59
Actually, when we met, I thought, wow, this is so refreshing. She’s not one of those drama queens. Oh, She sure did. She was on her best behavior for a while, but she couldn’t keep it up. And that was the problem is eventually who you truly show up. Right. Very

Céline Remy 12:15
good point, too, about taking your time to marry. Because everybody shows up on their best behavior at first. Give it a little time. You know, a couple of years, you’ll know for sure. Yeah. So

Kevin Anthony 12:27
this is a great point that you bring up with one of the things that I was kind of alluding to at the beginning of the show, I said, maybe we’ll cover later. But yeah, one of the best things you can do is the date for at least a year and a half before you get married at least a year and a half.

Kevin Anthony 12:42
Because there’s this thing called honeymoon period, what is the honeymoon period, that’s when all those feel-good chemicals are flowing. And no matter what the other person does, it doesn’t matter.

Kevin Anthony 12:51
They leave the toilet seat up, whatever, who cares because he’s so hot, or she’s so beautiful, or they’re so kind or they’re this that the other thing, they can do no wrong for about the first year and a half to two years. And then when those chemicals stop, which they always do, at least to some extent.

Kevin Anthony 13:07
Now, all of a sudden, all those things are like huge dramas that are showing up, right? So yes, I’m going you know what, I’m going to do saline today, for that comment that you made, I am going to give you a truth bomb. Yes, that’s right, the sound effects are back.

Kevin Anthony 13:26
For those of you who have been listening for a while, I finally found the right device to give great sound effects for the show. So I apologize now if I overdo it a little bit, but

Céline Remy 13:40
like a kid in a candy store,

Kevin Anthony 13:41
I like to have fun with our sound effects, as you know, makes the show a little bit more interesting. Okay, let’s get back to the drama queen here for a moment. So the drama queen can also show up in other ways.

Kevin Anthony 13:56
So in my case, the way the drama queen showed up was not so much like Oh, any little thing I say might turn into a huge drama. The way it showed up for me was you would go like three months have a great relationship. Everything would be fine.

Kevin Anthony 14:13
Nothing major would happen. Nothing would really change in the relationship. But then all of a sudden out of nowhere, she would just create some sort of big drama in the relationship, some sort of big thing that would then turn into an argument that then we would have to repair, and then we would have to do counseling or like something would happen process for a while, right.

Kevin Anthony 14:37
And speaking of marriage, I remember this particular individual clearly saying to me, if we’re not married after X number of years of dating, then I’m out right so she did something that women should absolutely never do. The ultimatum the ultimatum.

Kevin Anthony 14:52
And I remember saying to her, this has nothing to do about time. And I said to her what I need to see He is that this relationship is stable. And for me, what I’m noticing is a pattern of approximately every three months, some sort of big drama comes up out of nowhere.

Kevin Anthony 15:11
And when there’s a major blowup, there is no way I would marry into that situation. If we can figure out how to work past that, and get to a place where we’re stable, that’s different. Right, so So that’s just another way that the drama queen can show up, just when things start going really well.

Kevin Anthony 15:32
And things are really flowing, all of a sudden, she’ll find something, She’ll create something. And it could be like, this is actually not the same woman. But it’s sort of an example. So actually the needy one, it was the one that falls into the needy category. So a friend of ours, who was also teaching in the space of sex and relationship, was holding a workshop.

Kevin Anthony 16:05
And in the workshop, they were teaching ways to touch a woman and pleasure. And so the way they had set this workshop up was, they had the instructors, there’s the two of them, they had a massage table up in the front of the room, and they were demoing different things. And then everybody else was in their couples on the floor, and then they were practicing those things.

Kevin Anthony 16:27
So when somebody’s demoing something, you sort of have to pay attention, pay attention to what they’re doing. And then you know, because they’re up on a table, and you’re on a floor, and it’s a full room, and it’s not really easy to see what’s going on.

Kevin Anthony 16:42
Sometimes I couldn’t like or I would be looking down at my partner, I’d look up and I’d realized I missed what the instructor just showed. So then available, let me look at somebody else another couple because maybe they got it and I can see what they’re doing.

Kevin Anthony 16:54
And then I can do it. So given that context, in the middle of this thing, she just starts getting, like causing all this drama, and like getting really angry at me about it in the middle of it.

Kevin Anthony 17:10
And I’m just like, I’m over here going, Whoa, I’m trying to focus on what’s going on over here. I’m like trying to pick up tips from over here, then I’m trying to come back here and actually do like, like, my attention is split all over the place.

Kevin Anthony 17:21
Because I’m like, I want to do this right, you know. And then at the end and the circle when going around and asking, you know how everybody did. The instructor was asking, my partner just lets loose on me and just braids me in front of the entire class about how I was not paying attention to her.

Kevin Anthony 17:42
And I was too busy looking at the other girls because they were so much hotter and like all this stuff. And I was blown away. I was like, oh my god, I was just trying to do my best, right? But it’s an example of how you can take something and just create a drama out of it. That never existed. Right?

Kevin Anthony 18:01
And so you’ll see those types of things show up with the drama queen, you’ll be, you’ll be not thinking about it at all. In your mind. Everything is fine. It’s all good. And then something will come out of the left field and you’re just like, what was that? Where did that come from?

Céline Remy 18:18
Yeah. I want to talk about type number three. I am not a ready woman. This is so important. If you’re a man who knows, you want to get married, you want to have children and have a family.

Céline Remy 18:35
And you’re dating somebody who keeps saying I’m not ready. Well, I don’t know if I want that. Do not get into it. Thinking that just because she’s a woman. She’s going to change her mind.

Kevin Anthony 18:49
Yeah, this one’s huge in the opposite direction. A lot of women get into relationships with guys. I really want to have kids Oh he’ll change. It doesn’t matter what direction it goes in.

Kevin Anthony 19:01
Don’t you can’t change people and you can’t expect that they’re going to change. So if they’re not already on board with you knowing your big vision and vision, then that’s a huge red flag. I dated and was a not-ready woman

Céline Remy 19:18
buy Kevin you’re very busy.

Kevin Anthony 19:21
Well, you know, I am. I’m inching ever closer to that big five. Oh, so I’ve been around a little while but in my case, it didn’t have anything to do with children. What I noticed in that particular relationship was the more serious things got the closer we got towards like, hey, this could be a marriage life situation.

Kevin Anthony 19:46
The more she started pulling away and the more excuses she started making. And what’s interesting is Is she did not so there’s no overlap here with this one and the drama queen because a lot of times what you’ll see is When they start to get scared about it, and they want to, they want to find a way out, they start creating drama situations that that’s something that happens a lot.

Kevin Anthony 20:07
They’ll literally create drama in the relationship as an excuse for why they can’t do this, that, or the other thing. But in this case, she didn’t do that at all. The relationship actually was still great. There was no problem. She just was slowly and surely making herself less available.

Kevin Anthony 20:26
Taking more trips, working more, yeah, being distance being more distance. And then when finally confronted about that distance, it was like, Oh, well, I think maybe I don’t want this or maybe I’m not sure. I think maybe I want this other thing over here.

Kevin Anthony 20:46
But there was never any clarity. It wasn’t just like, you know, I’ve just realized that the direction we’re going in is not what I want in life. Okay, what do you want? Like, well, I want XYZ. And I know you want you to know, ABC. So, you know, I don’t think we’re a good man. It wasn’t like that at all. It was a whole lot of wow.

Kevin Anthony 21:04
And I think maybe I’m not really sure. wishy-washy kind of stuff. So that’s how the, um, that ready showed up for me. But I do know, for a lot of people, it will be that hole. Wow, I don’t know if I’m ready yet. They’ll actually say those were.

Céline Remy 21:22
That was my brother for seven years. That’s true.

Kevin Anthony 21:25
Your brother was in a relationship for seven years with a woman and he very clearly wanted children. And she kept giving him the I don’t know if I’m ready. I don’t know if I’m ready. Maybe both soon, but not yet.

Céline Remy 21:37
And then he found somebody else. Had a kid. And then the other one came back and said I’m ready.

Kevin Anthony 21:44
too little too late. See? You missed out. Okay, so that’s the I’m not ready. Woman. What about number four, the spender? I’ve never dated a spender. I have to say, I’m very lucky.

Kevin Anthony 22:01
But I know people who have, I have a very good friend, they’re actually still together because she managed to clean up her ACH. But I’d only known him for, I don’t know, two years or so maybe.

Kevin Anthony 22:15
At the time, when he confided in me that behind his back, she had basically spent all their money on like a dumb shit. And he wasn’t really paying attention. Because, you know, a lot of times in a lot of relationships, the day-to-day stuff, the man will just, you know, say,

Kevin Anthony 22:30
Hey, you run the house, like, you know what I’ll like, you know what you need, just take care of it, you know, like you have my, my blessing, I trust you to just do what you feel is right. And he basically blew all their money. It came very, very close. Well, they weren’t technically married at that time.

Kevin Anthony 22:55
But they had been together for many years already at that point. And somehow, they managed to get it back on track and get the finances back on track. But a lot of it was her basically not telling him. So then he realized you got to he’s got to keep a closer eye on what’s going on.

Céline Remy 23:10
Yeah, when it comes to finances, you have to find somebody who has similar patterns, because it’s so hard otherwise.

Kevin Anthony 23:19
Yeah. Well, you know, statistics will show that one of the top reasons why people get divorced, is finances. Literally, one of the two. I don’t know if it’s number one or number two, but it’s certainly no lower than number three. And I think, if I recall, I should have looked it up before the show. And I didn’t, because I just forgot.

Céline Remy 23:40
And we don’t have a personal assistant, who can just look it up right now on the computer.

Kevin Anthony 23:43
Yeah. Jamie, can you look that up for us? No, sorry, we don’t have that person. But I do know that it’s one of the tops like, you know, one to two to three reasons why couples divorce is because of differences in the way they handle finance.

Kevin Anthony 23:59
Yes. So that’s important. I mean, look, if you’re both spenders in a relationship, you’re basically going to be broke all the time, that’s probably not going to work really well. And then if one is a spender, and the other one isn’t? Well, that’s gonna cause a lot of conflicts, because one person is gonna get really upset that somebody’s spending all the money. Yeah.

Céline Remy 24:22
in that relationship. Oh, yeah.

Kevin Anthony 24:25
I’ll tell the audience well,

Céline Remy 24:26
not as the spender. But I’ve been with a spender. And it’s hard because you kind of has to put a leash on the person. And if you’re the woman, then you have to tell you, man, what he can do. It’s not very sexy for your relationship.

Kevin Anthony 24:43
That’s a very good point. Yeah. Yeah. So

Céline Remy 24:46
it kind of kills the passion in the bedroom. Yeah, it really does. And also, it’s hard to have trust.

Kevin Anthony 24:55
See, I was gonna bring that point up too, right? So now there’s this whole trust thing because now if you can’t trust him with money What else can you trust him with?

Céline Remy 25:03
Exactly and ultimately the relationship ended because of that, but I’m in one of those things, but it

Kevin Anthony 25:09
was one of the big things it was one of the bigger things Yeah All right, number five gold digger. A gold digger. Thank god I’ve never had a gold digger either maybe to

Céline Remy 25:21
have a wallet but thick enough

Kevin Anthony 25:25
sorry Well, I mean yes and no I’ve obviously never been super wealthy. But you know I did use to have the big six-figure you know, corporate salary job

Céline Remy 25:39
big enough. Yeah, so requires a certain thickness

Kevin Anthony 25:47
how sick would that be two inches? Three inches.

Céline Remy 25:51
I like to try to guess

Kevin Anthony 25:52
is this circumference just with like, like my roommate in college used to say all the time? Yeah, that’s right. I’m only five inches thick. Yeah, which very obviously was not true, but you know, made him feel better so the gold digger so I mean, I think pretty much everybody knows what the gold digger is but basically it means she’s more into your money than actually you.

Kevin Anthony 26:26
and this can be really hard for a lot of guys to tell this is why you’ll see a lot of celebrities will say things like it’s so hard to find a woman once you are wealthy and famous. And it’s also why some of them you see you know most of them if they were married before they got rich and famous ended up ditching the first wife or husband

Kevin Anthony 26:47
and you know going on with the supermodel or whatever but some of them will very specifically say they are so glad that they met their partner before they were rich and famous because they know that that person loves them for who they are and that what they have in their bank account and not what they have in their bank account or their fame because

Céline Remy 27:07
Or the thickness of what is in their pocket.

Kevin Anthony 27:11
Well, it could still be that but it’s in the other bucket All right, so that’s number five gold digger. You know, some guys are actually okay with a gold digger. Just because I guess if she looks good, yeah, that’s the thing is they’re like, Well, yeah, I know. She really wants my money. But she’s fucking hot. And I’d never score women that good-looking without

Céline Remy 27:34
the one you marry?

Kevin Anthony 27:36
I don’t think so.

Céline Remy 27:39
Are you married with a prenup? But

Kevin Anthony 27:40
but we see people do it all the time. So be careful with the gold digger because she’s often hard to tell. Yes, she plays a good part. And she really makes it look like she wants you for you.

Kevin Anthony 27:54
But if you pay attention to the signs, you will see that there are a lot of conversations about money for sure how much you’re making and how much she’s allowed to spend, and what she can buy.

Céline Remy 28:05
And if only she could have just a little help. Her life would be so much better.

Kevin Anthony 28:11
Yeah. All right. All right. All right. So quick break for our second sponsor, and then we’ll get into six through nine because there’s a couple more here, the man at least one more, that’s gonna piss you off.

Céline Remy 28:24
That’s waiting for that. That’ll be fun.

Kevin Anthony 28:26
But are you a couple who is stuck in a rut and just going through the daily motions instead of connecting the way you used to? Are you tired of staying on mechanical sex that lacks spontaneity and fun, and you don’t want to live a life of average, then Céline and I invite you to join our highly sexed power couple platinum program, give us 90 days and we will help you bring the passion back between the sheets and be synched up sexually so that you can thrive?

Kevin Anthony 28:49
So what is this? This is our CO coaching program where Selena and I work with you as a couple. And we will do sessions where the two of us work with both of you. And sessions, where one of us will work with one of you and one of us, will work with the other, you get the masculine point of view, you get the feminine point of view, you get both of our points of view.

Kevin Anthony 29:08
And really, you know, Selena has been doing this coaching thing for a long time. And she’s fantastic at it. I’ve been doing it for a somewhat long time too. And I happen to think I’m pretty good at it. Awesome. And as similar as we are, we are also different in the way we approach things and the ideas that we come up with.

Kevin Anthony 29:28
And so it’s really fantastic to have both of us together working with you. If your relationship is not where you want it to be. If you’re struggling in your marriage, even if you’re not having the sex that you want to have. Really there is no time like now to do something about it. Don’t wait any longer.

Kevin Anthony 29:45
The longer you wait, the harder it’s going to be to fix it reached out to us now Céline remy.com forward slash passion it takes you to the page with all the information that you need. schedule a call with us. I really like just doing it. because it’s not going to get any better if you don’t seek some help

Céline Remy 30:03
and love it when you do the ads, it’s going to be a new newer way of going forward.

Kevin Anthony 30:10
Well, you know, I don’t mind doing the ads, but you know, I don’t want to be dominating the conversation all the time. I like for you to have lots of space to share all of the nuggets that you have to share.

Céline Remy 30:22
Let’s talk about number six then. The party girl.

Kevin Anthony 30:28
Oh, the party girl. Yeah, I dated a party girl in college. I can tell you she was a lot of fun.

Céline Remy 30:35
Yeah, booty calls body all night. Never home.

Kevin Anthony 30:39
Yeah, she you know, I will give her this. I was a little reserved. Yeah, maybe like stuck in the butt. You know, like, just a little bit. Yeah. And she really helped me open up and become more easygoing. And I will always appreciate her for that, however, because she was too much of a party girl.

Kevin Anthony 31:05
And she liked to drink way too much. She would disappear. So you had multiple friends that I’m pretty sure stuff was going on? I couldn’t prove it. And basically, I just couldn’t trust her. And that was ultimately one of the big problems with the relationship. The party girl is hard to trust. It suggests no. You know, some guys are party guys.

Kevin Anthony 31:36
And so they like to be with party girls. But you want to know what comes almost hand in hand with the party girl? Drama, the drama queen? Absolutely. The drama queen. It’s so hard.

Kevin Anthony 31:51
Like, you can be a drama queen without being a party girl. But it’s almost non-existent that you’re a party girl without being a drama queen. Yeah. Because all the bad behavior of the party girl turns into a drama.

Céline Remy 32:01
Yeah, especially if there’s alcohol involved. Oh, yes,

Kevin Anthony 32:05
alcohol or any other sort of recreational drug use? Or? Yeah, it creates a lot of problems in the relationship. So

Céline Remy 32:15
let’s face it, you know, we’ve all been a party girl, at some point, or poorly, boy, I guess. But you know, once you pass 25, you can move on to different things.

Kevin Anthony 32:27
I personally know a bunch of people who are double that age and haven’t moved on yet.

Céline Remy 32:33
Say, you know, it’s like, their maturity level is not where it needs to be.

Kevin Anthony 32:37
That’s true. And that’s true. And you know, that’s why as I’m thinking about several of them, they’re all single. Yeah, that’s why they’re single. Yeah. I mean, let’s be honest, people can’t trust them to really settle down and be a solid partner. Well, because

Céline Remy 32:51
it requires deep commitment. It requires energy to be, you know, in her in a relationship. And if you spend it somewhere else all the time, then there’s nothing left for the relationship.

Kevin Anthony 33:04
All right, number seven. This is the one that’s probably going to ruffle a few feathers. But we don’t care because we like truth bombs around here. Yes, that’s right. That’s right. Do you want to really introduce it, and then I’ll talk more about it? So the

Céline Remy 33:27
number seven is the feminist. While you might think that it is wonderful to be with a woman who stands for women, what you don’t understand is that most of the women who consider themselves feminists are Angry Men, bitches, who will let them turn it around and be mean at you as well.

Kevin Anthony 33:50
Yeah, so what’s interesting is, is I did a couple of posts on social media recently about the use of language and how we keep changing the definitions of words because we want to push a certain agenda. So the word feminist in my personal opinion, no longer means what it used to mean.

Kevin Anthony 34:11
And we did a show on this. We talked about the different waves of feminism, first wave, second wave, and third wave. Now, people, some people say we’re in the fourth wave, some people say we’re in the fifth wave of feminism. What does that mean?

Kevin Anthony 34:24
Well, what it means is that the goals that feminism was trying to accomplish, in each wave changed. So, you know, I would consider myself a feminist by the original definition, in a sense that I do believe that women are just as equal as men.

Kevin Anthony 34:43
Yes, of course, they are. I mean, who would argue otherwise, right? So of course, they should have access to the same types of jobs. They should get equal pay for equal work, right?

Kevin Anthony 34:52
They should be able to be in politics or CEOs or anything else that a man wants to do if she wants to do it and she has a skill for it. absolutely go for it. Of course, she should have the right to vote, right? Because those policies affect her and her family too.

Kevin Anthony 35:06
So, you know, they’re absolutely great. However, feminism is not quite that anymore. No, not anymore. feminism isn’t just about what can make women give them the same, you know, natural, inalienable rights.

Céline Remy 35:25
Now, it has become more about letting’s create a war on men. And let’s destroy empowerment, castrate the man so that we can feel good about ourselves. So basically, we go all the way to the opposite of the pendulum.

Kevin Anthony 35:41
Yeah, what’s funny is they’ll call themselves feminists, which implies that they’re all about the feminine. But they’re really actually mostly operating from their masculinity and competing with men and not actually being feminine.

Céline Remy 35:55
Yeah, a good example of a client you worked with?

Kevin Anthony 35:59
Yeah, I had a client that I worked with in the past, who, you know, even in our pre-interview call, I, you know, I asked lots of questions, because I needed to get to know, what’s the nature of the issue that somebody is dealing with.

Kevin Anthony 36:14
And while he definitely had his own issues, and things that he was dealing with, he kept saying, Well, you know, this, that and the other thing, but if I do that, then she’s going to do this, or she’s gonna say that, or she’s gonna say, and basically his wife, self-identified as a feminist.

Kevin Anthony 36:32
And if he tried to do anything to create polarity in that relationship, she would instantly get triggered, and she couldn’t deal with it. Because it was against her feminist beliefs, right? And what she couldn’t see.

Kevin Anthony 36:47
And this is, this is where, like, you know, we did that commercial just before for our program where we work with, you know, couples, when we work individually, this is where it gets challenging, right? Because, yes, client x had his own problems, and we were working on it.

Kevin Anthony 37:03
And he showed up, and he was paying good money to work with me to fix his issues, which he knew he had. But she had issues too. And unfortunately, we couldn’t fix everything that was happening in the relationship, because we weren’t working with her as well.

Kevin Anthony 37:18
Now, I was guiding him on how he could approach some constructive conversations about some of these things. And she wouldn’t have any of it. Like, she would not have any of it. And then she would just berate him if he tried to even bring it up. about hey, you know, here’s where I’m at, here’s what I’m trying to do.

Kevin Anthony 37:37
Here’s the work I’m doing, here’s how I’m trying to better myself, here’s, here’s what would help me from your end, boom, just instant trigger, and instant shut down.

Céline Remy 37:47
The problem with the feminists too, is they often become your competitor. And when that happens, you basically always sword fighting. And you need to be a team. You can’t be competing against each other.

Kevin Anthony 38:05
No, no, I mean, in a relationship, you got to be team us, you really do. And that’s, you know, that’s what we have always called a team. That’s right, you know, and which has a couple of meanings to us. But, but yeah, if you’re a feminist in a relationship with a man, and you see that relationship as adversarial, that’s a very, very, very bad thing.

Kevin Anthony 38:31
It’s going to ultimately destroy your relationship. And, you know, I actually did get an update from him not too long ago. And he’s, you know, basically what he said was, he’s making progress. So he’s continuing to take the things that he’s learned in our coaching, and better himself.

Kevin Anthony 38:50
But he’s still dealing with the same problems as her. Like, she hasn’t changed at all. And he’s not sure what to do about it. You know, of course, my recommendation to him was like, the two of you should work with us.

Kevin Anthony 39:09
Or, if she’s not willing to do that, at least have her when I said she really needs to work with Celine, like, this woman needs to access her actual femininity. She needs to understand what being a feminine woman is, and how she can use that powerfully in her relationship to get what she wants. But she wouldn’t have done it.

Céline Remy 39:31
So you’d not be mourned. If you’re dating a feminist, you probably don’t want to marry her.

Kevin Anthony 39:38
Well, because you’re you’re setting yourself up for a difficult relationship with a lot of challenges and competing and walking on eggshells. Again. This is another one where you’re afraid that if you say the wrong thing in a dinner conversation or even a regular conversation,

Kevin Anthony 39:55
or if or if you don’t step up to support her view or You know, like anything can happen and boom, instant drama, instant drama. Not a place you want to be in your relationship.

Céline Remy 40:10
All right, we’ve got two more types. Number eight, the inconsistent slash liar, woman.

Kevin Anthony 40:18
I mean, this one, do we need to say any more?

Céline Remy 40:21
You know, it’s funny, because when you were talking about the party girl, I kind of felt that. She could also go that way.

Kevin Anthony 40:27
Yeah, actually, she can go that way. Because what happens is she parties, she gets drunk, she gets high, and she makes bad decisions. And then she starts trying to figure out ways to explain it away and cover it up and all that stuff because she knows she fucked up.

Céline Remy 40:43
I mean, the bottom line is, she’s a woman, she’s emotional, there is going to be some inconsistency or things that are crazy to you. Just find the level of craziness that you’re comfortable with. But don’t settle for inconsistent or abusive or lying behaviors.

Kevin Anthony 41:06
Yes, yes, yes, you get another truth bomb for them. All right, yeah, I don’t know that we really need to say a whole lot about that one. Because you need to have 100% Honesty, in any successful relationship, you need to have the sort of relationship where you can show up and say literally anything.

Kevin Anthony 41:28
Now that doesn’t mean you can be mean, rude, or abusive in any way. But you have to be able to show up and authentically share what is true for you without worrying about the consequences of it. And if your partner is not willing or capable of doing that, then don’t do not marry. Do not marry them.

Céline Remy 41:51
Stay away. All right, number nine, go for it given

Kevin Anthony 41:55
number nine, the negative or toxic Woman Oh, man, this one. So? Yeah, I mean, I know why they’re in the same category, but they could show up very, very differently. So that the negative one is just she’s always negative, everything’s a problem. Nothing’s ever really right. You know, there’s just, it’s just an energy drainer it’s just a downer,

Céline Remy 42:17
you know, or she finds joy in putting others down. Oh, that’s a woman ever people all the time.

Kevin Anthony 42:25
And she’ll do it to you a lot too. Because, you know, that’s what she does to everybody.

Céline Remy 42:30
So you don’t want to have that ng around? That’s not healthy. No, no,

Kevin Anthony 42:34
no. And then, you know, the toxic woman I described as “toxic” is any habitual behavior that is harmful to you in the relationship, right? So it can show up in a lot of different ways.

Kevin Anthony 42:50
It may not necessarily be negative, but, you know, I would say a toxic woman is a woman who goes out and parties too much and you know, doesn’t really care what you think or feel about it. You know, a toxic woman is somebody who’s a massive drama queen, like, basically all of these, you know, nine things are somewhat toxic. Yeah. To a relationship.

Céline Remy 43:15
Toxic could be she’s very gossipy. Sure, very negative. All of that.

Kevin Anthony 43:20
Yeah. So you know, basically, what it comes down to is, if you see any of these behaviors when you’re dating, they are red flags. If you see multiple of these run in the other direction if you see one, and you’re like,

Kevin Anthony 43:36
Hmm, that could maybe be a red flag, then have a conversation about it, bring it up, and see where it comes from. Maybe it’s something simple that you can work through. And maybe it’s not. But certainly, make sure that you are sure which one of those is before you make the ultimate commitment to getting married.

Kevin Anthony 44:00
So look, we love marriage, we’ve said this many times we are married, we love being married. And then people still ask us and granted, we haven’t been married for like, you know, 25 years or anything like that. So you know, sometimes older people are like, Yeah, whatever, you haven’t been married that long.

Kevin Anthony 44:16
They want to discount our experience. But you know, how many couples are truly still happy and in love after four years, according to the statistics, actually not very many of them. So we’re doing better than most. And I feel that we still have something valuable to share as a result of that.

Kevin Anthony 44:35
So we love marriage. We’re big proponents and champions of having great marriages and sharing your life with somebody in love and all of that stuff. And we do episodes like this because we want you to have the same thing.

Kevin Anthony 44:51
So if we can help you avoid making some mistakes, and ending up 10 years and two divorces later then that would be great. And that’s really our goal with this is to help you make better choices so that you can have a better outcome.

Céline Remy 45:09
Well, safe given.

Kevin Anthony 45:13
Thank you. Thank you. All right, everybody. That’s all we have for this episode and we will see you next week. We hope you liked this episode of the Love Lab podcast. If you enjoy this show, subscribe. Leave us a review and share it with your friends.

Céline Remy 45:35
And for more free exclusive content. Join us in the passion vault at Célineremy.com/vault

Kevin Anthony 45:49
Thanks for listening. And remember you’re amazing