This Is The Formula For Great Sex

Kevin Anthony 0:05
Welcome to the Love Lab podcast, a safe and fun place to get real and learn about sex. Whether you’re a man or woman, single or couple, this is the show for you. I am your host, Kevin Anthony, and I am here to guide you to go from good to amazing in the bedroom and your relationships.

All right, welcome back to the Love Lab podcast. This is episode 295, and it is titled This is the formula for great sex. Now, I’ve talked on this show a lot about, you know, what is great sex, or this is what great sex could be. And I’ve talked more about sort of how people normally experience sex and what sex could be if they shifted the way they approached it. So it was a little bit more about, you know, how do you approach sex? And what are you potentially missing out on? And the idea behind those episodes really was to inspire you to want to take it further, to inspire you to want to step up your game, so to speak, and experience something that so few people really get to experience that is truly amazing in life, today’s show going to be a little bit different, what I’m really going to do is give you a formula, that if you follow step by step and do all these things, you are likely to have the most amazing sex you have ever had in your entire life.

So basically, what we’re going to do is talk about the three main components that need to be present for, you know, the truly, truly, you know, top sex, what Céline And I used to call the multi-dimensional fucking amazing out of this world blow your mind kind of sex, what others might call gourmet sex, right? So that’s, that’s what we’re going to talk about. And there are three main parts to that. And obviously, a budget sub parts to each one of those, but we’re going to cover each one of those and how they contribute to making great sex. So it’s going to be very logically oriented; it’s going to flow in a way that makes sense. And yeah, giving you the formula.

Alright, but before we do that, power and mastery 3.0 is here, the men sexual Mastery program you have heard about on the show for a long time is now even better. I personally reviewed every module lesson, video, audio, and PDF to see if there was anything new that needed to be added. As a result, I’ve added 10 New videos, one new audio, eight new PDFs, and dozens of links to handpick products to help support your journey to mastery. In addition, there’s also a brand new user interface that makes it easier to navigate the course and find your course materials. So, if you’re ready to become the sexual Master you have always wanted to be, then go now to powerandmastery.com. You know, I’ve been reading this new version of the ad for a while now, the 3.0 version. And it talks about all the new things that I’ve added to it. And that’s all great and awesome. And I was very proud of adding all of that new content to the course. But really, what I want to share about power and mastery is that even though it’s a program that has existed for a number of years, we’re never looking at it as completely static. I am always looking at it as you know, how can I improve it? What can I add to it? How can I keep it current? So no matter how many years you’ve been listening to this show, no matter how many times you’ve heard me read an ad for power and mastery, know that this is not just a static program, that I’m always doing my best to keep it as up to date as possible. So go check that out at powerandmastery.com.

Okay, so when it comes to the formula for great sex, the roadmap, so to speak, I’m going to break it down by physical sex, energetic sex, and love sex. Those are the three main components here. So, of course, we’re gonna start first with the most basic physical sex. Now, it may be the most basic. Everybody pretty much knows how to put genitals together. But so few people do it well. So we’re going to talk about how to do it well. I’ve covered a lot of these aspects in individual pieces on the show. So throughout the years, so for instance, number one is safety, I did an entire show on what it really means to create safety. But I’m going to talk a little bit about it here. So when it comes to really dropping into the space for sex, you need to feel safe. There’s a reason why when we are stressed or in danger, as far as our nervous system is concerned, we typically don’t get aroused. Or if we’re a man, we lose our erection.

The reason is that nature tells us that if we don’t feel safe, now is not the time to be in a very vulnerable position, like having sex. And so it will turn us off, it will make our reaction go away, because we don’t feel safe. Now, we live in an environment today where, you know, physical safety while making love is mostly guaranteed. We’re in our own homes. It’s a safe environment or with somebody we trust. So we’re not worried about a saber-toothed Tiger, you know, trying to eat us while we’re having sex. But there are other ways that safety impacts your ability to have great sex. And this is where I’m just going to throw out a few things because, like I said, I did an entire episode on safety. But it’s not just physical safety; emotional safety is as well. Do both partners, especially her, feel safe in the fact that you’re not going to do something that he or she doesn’t like and that you can control your ejaculation? And there’s not going to be some unexpected pregnancy or something like that. Like, there are a lot of different pieces of safety.

But what I want you to know for the context of this show is that safety is an important piece. And that’s why it’s number one on the list. If there isn’t safety here, you’re never going to have great sex. And you know, as I get further through these, and they start talking about energetic sex and love sex and that kind of stuff, you’ll really, you really understand why these first few things are so important. So number one was safety. You absolutely have to have a high level of safety in the environment in order to really have great physical sex, or great sex in general. Number two is trust. And trust is a little bit different. You might feel safe in your environment, and you might feel safe with the person thinking, Well, you know, I know they’re never going to intentionally hurt me. But do you really trust them?

Now, to feel truly safe, you probably have to have a high level of trust. But that’s not always necessarily the case. So do you really trust everything that you’re going to be held, that you’re going to be nurtured, cherished, that he’s not going to accidentally ejaculate inside of you when neither of you want that? Right? So there has to be a real level of trust because you can get really physically and emotionally vulnerable in this moment. And if the level of trust isn’t there, then you’re never really going to be able to get to those levels of openness and depth and vulnerability that make sex really amazing.

So, safety is number one, and trust is number two. Number three, pretty simple, but still important, a good environment, you got to have a good environment. We talked about this on the show all the time, especially for women, if the environment isn’t good, it’s going to be distracting. And it can be distracting for men too. I’m not saying that it’s not, you know, there’s TV going on in the background or, you know, people around are worried about the kids walking in. Those things can distract both men and women. However, simple things like the basket of laundry or the messy room or all the tasks that need to happen. Those things can absolutely distract a woman to the point that she can’t really drop into, you know, her openness, her vulnerability, her receiving mode, that She really needs to get into to have those deeper levels of sex. So you want to make sure that you create a good environment.

So what, what does a good environment even mean? Well, a good environment obviously means a safe one, a comfortable one. So, the place where you’re making love is comfortable. That could be something soft, that could be someplace, that’s a warm place, it’s pleasing to the eye, maybe a place, it smells good, sounds good. There’s music, maybe aromatherapy or something that really smells good. So, yeah, those, those are the types of things we’re talking about when we’re talking about creating a good environment. And again, I’ve talked at length in other shows about, you know, how to really create a good environment and what that really means. But just know that it is one of the things that you need to really have epic, amazing sex.

Now, that doesn’t mean that, you know, if you don’t have it all perfect like that, you’re never going to get that. But this is the formula. This is, you know, almost a sure thing about how to get there. Right. And I don’t discount the fact that, you know, you might have a quickie. Is the laundry room comfortable? Does it smell good? Probably not. Or, you know, maybe you threw up on the desk in your office, right? Maybe not at work, but let’s say you have a home. Yeah, is that going to necessarily be comfortable, warm, or smell good? Not necessarily. So, obviously, there’s a time and a place for those types of things. However, in general, you know, if you’re setting yourself up for success, to have the most amazing sex you’ve ever had in your life. Really, a nice, comfortable, pleasing environment will help you get there. So all of those things, the safety, the trust, the good environment, led to number four on the list, which is being able to really drop into the space.

So you need to be able to really get into the moment that you are creating right then and there. So a call that kind of dropping into the space. This is where you can let go of everything that is outside of the bedroom in that moment and be truly present with each other for however long you’re going to be making love. This is not always easy for people to do. We have really busy lives, we have a lot going on in our lives, and there’s a lot of stress. And we say okay, it’s date night, and now it’s time to make love. And we’re like, how do we how do we get into that space? How do we get into that mood? So obviously, safety, trust, and a good environment will help you get there. There are also connection exercises that you can do. There are things like eye gazing, which is a very classic tantric practice. There’s cuddling, there’s, you know, light touch. There’s a whole practice I teach in coaching, with the five levels of touch. So all the different ways that you can play with touch before you get into actual sexual touch. So those are some practices that you can do to help drop into the space.

Some people could do, you know, a little bit of talking. Now, For some people, talking kind of takes them out of the mood and puts too much in their heads. But for some people, it’s a great way to sort of drop into the space. So it’s like you sit down, you face each other, you look into each other’s eyes. Maybe you share something you love and appreciate about them. Maybe you talk about you know what it is you want to create in this moment. So you can do things like that to really drop into the space. It’s really about establishing a connection with each other and letting go of whatever’s happening in the outside world. Once you’ve done that, next comes to proper for play. In fact, I’m going to be doing and it might even happen before this episode airs officially. I’m actually going to be doing a two-hour seminar on foreplay in conjunction with another therapist because it’s that important. So one of the therapists that I had on the show a while back reached out to me recently and was like, hey, I need you to come and do a whole seminar on foreplay for my clients.

Why is she asking me to do that? Well, because it’s really that important. And because most people aren’t really good at it. So in her practice, you know, she’s seeing she’s hearing from a lot of the women that she works with, that this isn’t really happening in their relationships. So you want to have great sex, you gotta have some good foreplay. Now, what people consider good foreplay, there are some generalities. We’ll talk about that. And then I will also say that it varies for different people. And the amount of foreplay that you need will vary based on the person but also based on the moment. So you know, if you’re coming into this sexual moment, hot and heavy, you’re not going to need a lot of foreplay, you might want it but you probably won’t need it. But if you’re trying to go from a busy, stressful work day to Oh, it’s date night, we got to get in the mood, you’re definitely going to need some more foreplay.

So what do I mean by proper foreplay? Well, some of those dropping into the space exercises could be considered foreplay for sure. The touch one definitely is. And the touch exercise is really great. And I often suggest that if a man is giving to a woman, start away from her genitals, start with her neck or shoulders or arms, the inside of her thighs, you know, different places to start to really stoke that fire before you get to her breasts or her genitals. You know, for a woman giving to a man that foreplay can look like, you know, immediately going to his genitals and, and you know, massaging them, touching them, caressing them, it doesn’t have to be, but just know that you could go straight there with a man. You can also, you know, start with his shoulders or his neck or, you know, other parts of his body that you enjoy touching. Obviously, foreplay can involve things like congenital touch and play. So I’ve done whole episodes, Selena and I did episodes on how to give a great hand job. We also did one on how to finger a woman. So those are two episodes that you could go look for. That will teach you much more in-depth about how to use those as really great foreplay skills.

It obviously can mean oral sex. So we also did whole episodes on how to give great oral sex. And when it comes to foreplay, don’t do what so many people do I see this. So so often, it’s like, it’s date night, we get into the bedroom, okay, I touch your genitals a little, and you touch mine, I go down on you, and you go down on me , Then we go to sex and penetration. And it’s the same formula every single time. Don’t do that. Right? Change it up, do different things, try something new. Or just mix up the order that you do it. Keep it fun; keep it exciting. Don’t make it such that they already know what’s going to happen. Say, Okay, I touch you here, you lick me there. Okay? Right.

Use play as a way to really build the energy, build the desire, build the openness in the woman, build the erection in the man, and build the lubrication. So those are a few ideas that you can do to have proper foreplay. Okay. The next one is like if we’re going to talk about physical sex, and this is the formula for how to have great sex. There’s no way I can cover this without talking about this next one. So, number six on the list is that he has to be able to last long enough. You just can’t have truly mind-blowing, amazing sex. If number one, you as a man the entire time are worried about being too close to your edge and ejaculating. Like, you just can’t have great sex when you do that. Because you’re distracted the whole time and you’re in sort of defensive mode of like, I gotta slow down or I gotta change angle or I gotta and of course she feels this So she’s like, Oh, great, now I gotta slow down. I gotta worry about you know whether or not he’s going to ejaculate before, I’m satisfied in in even a little bit fashion.

So when it comes to really great physical sex, you just have to be able to last long enough. And when we talk about the energetic piece that’s going to come up again. So hold on to that thought about lasting long enough. Now, this is a main theme in all of the work that I do this idea that men have to learn how to last long enough, done many, many, many shows on that. So go look up some of those I’ve covered different aspects of this many, many times. But just know, it is a foundational piece to not only just great physical sex but also great sex in general. So you really have to learn how to do that, if you don’t know how to do that, at the beginning of every one of these shows, I read an ad for power and mastery, it will teach you how to do that. If you want to work with a coach who can really guide you through it at a deeper level, then reach out to me go to KevinandCéline.com, you know, go to work with me, you know, choose the men’s sexual coaching option, or you know, the couples coaching option. And just reach out schedule a strategy call, let’s figure out how we can teach you how to do this is absolutely critical to having great sex.

Okay, so you’ve established safety trust, you’ve created a good environment, you’ve dropped into the space, you have started with some great foreplay, and you’re in a place where you can last long enough. Number seven on the list is she feels comfortable enough to really let go. So this is actually tied in to number six, which is he can last long enough. One of the things that a lot of guys don’t realize is that the reason she doesn’t have an orgasm is because she can feel that you’re writing your edge the whole time and struggling to not evacuate. And because of that she never really lets go. The reality is is that women are by far more powerful sexual beings, their ability to move sexual energy, their ability to have multiple orgasms, to ride waves of ecstatic bliss, basically, is limitless. And because of that, they are constantly aware of the fact that most men can’t handle that power. They just can’t.

And if you’re if you talk to women, and they’re really honest, they’ll tell you that they’ll tell you like, I’ve never really been with a man who could really take all of me and all of my power. So I hold back. I’ve had women tell me, yeah, that’s why I usually have you know, a couple of, you know, boyfriends or whatever. You know, I’ve had women tell me that, you know, that’s why they were interested in three sons. What they really wanted was just one man, but one man could never actually deliver. So it’s like, well, if one can’t, maybe two can, and this is no joke. I mean, when you do coaching in the sex, love, and relationship space, you hear this stuff. These are not things that women will necessarily share with their partners. But you hear it as a coach. I’ve had, you know, older women tell me that, you know, they’ve struggled with men in their own age group to be able to get an erection to keep it long enough and to last long enough. And so they said, Well, this is why I’ve always dated younger men, because I felt like the older man couldn’t keep up with me, right? So she needs to feel comfortable enough to really be able to let go and let her energy, her passion, and her sexuality really flow.

When that happens, that leads us to number eight, which is both of you can ride the waves of orgasmic bliss. You have to be able to learn how to ride those waves up and down of those building energies. Maybe even you know her orgasm exploding. Maybe you, as a man, have multiple non-ejaculatory orgasms. But you have to figure out how you can get to that space where you can ride those waves of orgasmic bliss. And a lot of that comes back to number six, which is he can last long enough because she can pretty much go all day long. And it’s really up to you as the man to learn how to last long enough. Okay, so next on the list, number nine, is you lose track of time. So to have really great physical sex, you can’t really be aware of time, don’t be looking at the clock, don’t be thinking about what else you got to do. If you’re having really great physical sex, and you’ve done all those things, you should when you’re done, look at the time and go. Holy crap, I can’t believe it’s been that long. Where did that time go? You should feel like you were in a time warp. Like, wow, that’s, that’s crazy. I just, you know, transported into the future.

And then, lastly, it ends when you both feel complete. You both feel like you’ve taken this as far as you want to take it in this moment. And you are complete. That’s a big difference than the way most people end sex. Most people end sex when he ejaculates, which is usually way too quickly. And say hi, oh, hey, Jack laid sex is over. Or, you know, he ejaculated. So now we have to switch to his mouth or his fingers until I have my quick clitoral orgasm. And then then we’re done. That’s not great. Physical sex, that’s why we’re doing the best with what we got. Right. But if you really want to reach a great level of physical sex, you do one through nine. And then number 10 is when you both feel like wow, that was friggin amazing. And we’re done.

Okay, so that was great physical sex. And even though it took me half the show to describe that, as you know, literally one, almost everyone of that one through 10, I’ve done whole shows on. So I kind of skimmed the surface of each one. If you want to know more about how to do each one of those things, go check out those previous shows; just do searches. You know, whether you’re on the podcast platforms or YouTube, just go in there and you know, type different keywords, you know, safety, trust, whatever, you will find these episodes, go back and listen to each one of them. Alright, short break. And then we’re going to come back and talk about energetic sex and love sex.

Are you a couple are your relationship and sex life where you want them to be? Are there changes you would like to make but just don’t know how. Maybe you think that there is nothing that can be done. If you’re not 100% happy with where your relationship or sex life is, then get help today and change your life. Go to kevinanthonycoaching.com/se-coaching-couples/. That link is in the description. And schedule a strategy call with me today. So we can map out a strategy to get you where you want to be. So you can have it all your way. Go to kevinanthonycoaching.com/se-coaching-couples/ and book your strategy call today. So in that program, this is the this is the couples coaching program. All of this stuff that I’m talking about how to great how to have great sex, I teach you together as a couple how to do this, how to create trust and safety and the environment, how to have great forplay how to touch each other and how to last longer and how to experience multiple orgasms and how to have you know clitoral orgasms, and G Spot orgasms and cervical orgasm and all that stuff. You want to have the best sex that the two have ever had in your life. This is where I teach you how to do that. I also work a lot on creating a better, stronger, deeper relationship in this coaching program. So this is sex and relationship coaching. You really can’t separate the two Sex and the quality of your relationship go together. So we work on all of that in this program that is kevinanthonycoaching.com/se-coaching-couples/. The link is in the description.

Okay, so we talked about the physical part of sex. Sex is a physical act to bring two physical bodies together. You have to have a base layer of skill when it comes to mastering your physical body so that you can have great sex, but there is another level of another component to great sex that is so often ignored, misunderstood, and denied, even by people. And that is the energetic realm of sex. There is a huge portion of sex, that is, felt what we call energetically. So what do I mean by that? Well, if you’ve listened to any of the shows we’ve done, where we’ve talked about tantra we’ve talked, I’ve had guests on to talk about tantra, and Celine and I have covered topics around Tantra.

Tantra is all about feeling and moving this sexual energy through your body. And we’ve talked a lot about this. You can call it chi, Jing, prana, sexual energy, lifeforce energy, universal energy, or whatever you want to call it; there is something intangible that we can’t see, or touch or taste or smell. But we can feel, and it’s what we call sexual energy. And the ability to take that energy and feel it and move it and use it along with the physical sex takes your sex to the next level. So the first step here is you need to be able to feel the sexual energy in your body. Now, this is generally pretty easy for people when it comes to their genitals, they get turned on, they feel something tingling and moving, maybe they have an erection, they start to get lubricated, like, yeah, I feel some energy down in my genitals. Okay, well, that’s step one. But can you feel that energy in the rest of your body as well? And that is something that if you can’t do you need to learn how to do now, it may start in the genitals.

But one of the things that Tantra teaches you is how to move that energy out of just the genitals out of you know what Tantra we would call the lower chakras and circulate it through your body. So the first step is to be able to feel it in yourself. And then, the second step is you need to be able to move that sexual energy through your body, you get your whole body energized and engaged in the sexual practice, not just your genitals. The next step after that is if both of you can do that individually, then you start to focus on circulating that sexual energy between the two of you, tantra and Taoism both have practices for doing this, you may have heard it referred to as the microcosmic orbit, this is practice. And you can do that microcosmic orbit, circulating sexual energy through yourself.

But you can also do it by circulating it through your partner. So that energy is going to come just to take one example from the man through his penis into the woman. And that’s going to go up through her back down back into the man and get circulated around in that pattern over and over and over again when you can learn how to do that, suddenly, you involve your entire body in the practice of lovemaking, not just your genitals. And that really is the secret to having what people call full-body orgasms, where you have an orgasm that just rocks your whole body. It’s just like, you just feel it through your entire being. That happens when you learn how to circulate that energy through your whole body, but also when you are circulating both your and your partner’s energy through that connection. So once you can do that, then the next thing is you want to be able to play with that energy. So you can feel it, you can move it through yourself, you can move it with your partner and through your partner.

Now you want to be able to play with that level. You want to be able to increase it and then maybe decrease it and then increase it and then decrease it right play with moving that energy between the two of you. Now you can, of course, sort of time that with your physical movements. So, moving increasing the energy at the same time, you’re increasing maybe the speed or whatever of the action that you’re doing, but it doesn’t have to be. You can play with increasing that energy even though maybe physically, you’re slowing down, but energetically, you’re increasing. And so play with that. Play with increasing it, decreasing it, maybe increasing it as you increase your movement, maybe increasing it as you decrease your movement. If you’ve really learned how to move energy, you will be able to do that. For most people. It’s like, oh, yeah, if I just start thrusting faster, I can really pick up the energy. But then they struggle with like, Okay, how do I do it? If I’m slowing down and doing gentle thrusting, gentle movements? How am I? How do I increase energy when I’m slowing down physically, right?

But when you’ve really mastered moving energy, you can do that. And so play with that, that really, really, really makes a big difference. And it takes sex from being just purely physical into a whole other realm. So when we’re talking about this is the formula for great sex, right, you need to be able to have that component. Because you can have really good sex that’s just purely physical. But I wouldn’t call that great sex. I wouldn’t put that in the category of great sex. To really be in the category of great sex, there has to be this energetic component. So when you are playing with this energy, you should feel this energy. When you kiss each other when you touch each other. And when you penetrate each other. It’s not just when penis goes in vagina, and now I can Oh, there it is, I can feel the energy.

In fact, if you’re playing with this energy, which you should be during that dropping in and foreplay phase, I mean, just touching each other should be electric, like, whoo, you just touch the back of your neck, and you get shivers down your whole body. Because you can feel that energetic connection. You want to make sure that you are making love long enough that you build this energy to such a high level. That one, your orgasm is intense, like intense, full-body orgasms, because you’ve taken the time to build and cultivate this energy. But also, if you do have an orgasm or even an ejaculation, you have built so much energy that you don’t feel depleted. This whole idea of, you know, you made love, you know, for however many minutes, and then you ejaculate, and then you roll over and go to sleep because you’re exhausted.

That doesn’t happen when you have this kind of great set. Because you’ve taken the time to cultivate this energy, move it through your body, move it through your partner’s body. If you do have an orgasm, you don’t feel depleted. If you have an ejaculation, you don’t feel depleted. In fact, as a man, even as an older man, it is possible if you’ve built enough energy to ejaculate and not completely lose your erection. So typically, this is a physical response in the body. When you ejaculate, there are certain hormones released that will bring your erection down. Like that’s, that’s the physical process that’s happening. But if you’ve built so much energy, you could potentially have an ejaculation and not lose your entire erection.

Now when you’re younger, when you’re very young, as a male, you know this right because you’ve had a jack Ulation and still maintain your erection. As you get older, that becomes more difficult. And for most men, it’s pretty much impossible unless you’ve taken the time to build up this energy. And then the last piece I want to share on the energetic sex is that to have this truly great, amazing sex, you need to have what we call polarity and we generally talk about polarity in the context of relationships, right masculine energies, feminine energies, being in those opposite poles, they will attract each other and they create that spark and that fire that makes you want to be together. All of that is true. But in this context, I’m talking about polarity in the energetic sex realm. The polarity that we talked about brings you together as a relationship, and it also brings you together. This sexually, when you have a strong polarity, is literally drawing you together; your energies are drawing each other together.

So while this is slightly different than talking about how to feel sexual energy and how to move it, but it’s also about you as a woman, you as a man, cultivating your sexual energies individually as the man is cultivating his masculine sexual energy, the woman is cultivating her feminine sexual energy, and there is a difference between those two. But if you’re both doing that, those two powerful energies are going to be polarizing; they’re gonna pull each other to gather. So as the man, his sexual energy is masculine, it’s penetrating. It’s, you know, I’m going to take you, I’m going to ravish you I’m going to give to you, right. On the other hand, you have the women’s sexual energy, it is feminine energy, it is receptivity, it is openness it is I’m going to expand as much as I can for you, I’m going to pull you in as much as I can. When those two energies come together, it is literally magnetic when he wants to penetrate when she wants to open and receive a boom. So I’m talking about polarity in the context of being aware of your masculine and your feminine energies and how you can bring those into energetic play when you come together through sex.

So, if you can add all of what I just talked about in the energetic sex realm into everything that we talked about at the beginning of this show, with the physical sex around, you have now created some truly amazing sex. When those two pieces come together, it absolutely takes your sex to the next level. But there is yet one more level to go. So, if you’ve made it this far, you’ve mastered how to have great physical sex. Okay, great. That’s a level a lot of people never get to. Their physical sex really, isn’t that good? So why have a job? It’s why I help people all the time, Master how to do those basic level, you know, physical sex things. Once you’ve got that, then it’s like, okay, how do we play more the subtle realms? How do we use our energy? How do we use our masculine energy and our feminine energy to create an even more intense and beautiful sexual experience? Okay, that’s another level. A lot of people don’t get you. Another thing that I am always helping people develop and learn is bringing it into their lovemaking.

Now, the next level, if you really want to take it over the top, this is where it’s like, the best sex you have absolutely ever had in your life. You have to add in the love component now. Do you always have to have sex with somebody that you are deeply in love with? No, if you’re dating, you haven’t had enough time yet. to really develop that level of depth and intimacy and connection and love to get there. And that’s okay. It doesn’t mean you can’t still have great sex, because you can still do the physical and you can still do the energetic and you’re gonna go, wow, that was really great sex may have even been the best sex you’ve ever had in your entire life. But once you’ve been with somebody long enough to have established that level of depth and connection and love, now you’re going to go to levels that you can’t, you might if you’ve never been there you wouldn’t even believe exist. So that is when you bring in, you know what I’m calling here, the love sex piece. And really what it is, is love. But since we’re talking about physical sex, energetic sex, and then the love sex, so what do I mean by that?

Well, number one, you feel a deep level of love for the person you are making love with. So for men, it’s really easy to separate sex and love. Men can often have sex with just about anybody who’s willing to have sex with them. I find that you know, as we age as men, the desire to do that becomes less and less, but when we’re really young, and the hormones are raging, any woman who’s willing to have sex with us is like, yeah, okay, well, that’s x, right. As we get older, we get more discerning, we want more out of our sexual experiences. And one of the things that we want out of that is a level of depth and connection. So to bring in this love sex piece, you need to feel a deep level of love for the person that you are having sex with. And that will really open up a lot more that will really help open up your energy to flow.

But it will bring in an emotional component that really takes things to the next level. When we’re talking about bringing in the love sex piece, we’re talking about a way in which you approach sex and lovemaking where it’s not just about what am I getting out of this. So one, it’s not just about what am I getting out of it? What am I receiving? it’s also not just about what physical sensations I am receiving. Right? It leaves the realm, at least to some extent, of physical and physical sensations and brings in the emotional sensations. Now, if you can have physical sensations, you can have energetic sensations. So physical sensation, you can feel really good things happening to your physical body, you know, sexual pleasure, most likely, especially around your genitals. But then you can also feel the energetics you can feel that energy moving through your body in interesting ways. And you bring in the emotional feeling, right? And all three of those, together, will bring you to this place of absolute ecstatic bliss. So it’s not just about what am I getting about. What am I getting out of it? It’s not just about, you know, what are the physical sensations I’m feeling.

Lovemaking is really an expression of the love that you have for each other. And it really shouldn’t be, it’s such a deeply vulnerable thing to share with somebody that it really should be about expressing the love that you have for each other. Now, look, again, I’m not saying you can’t have sex, unless you have somebody that you feel that deeply in love with. Obviously, in the dating world, you’re going to be having sex with people that you don’t have that level of connection with. You know, if you’re into poly or swinging, you’re going to be having sex with people you don’t have that level of connection with doesn’t mean you can’t still enjoy the sex in those situations.

But if you really want to have truly mind-blowing fucking amazing out of this world, the best sex you’ve ever had in your entire life. Really, the way to do that is to incorporate that love piece. So there you have it. That is really my formula for great sex. And this really comes from looking at the sex that I’ve been able to have in my life where we have laid there together and thought, what just happened? That was the most amazing, mind-blowing thing I’ve ever experienced in my life. How did we get here? Like, what what components? Like, what happened? How did this happen? And that’s really it. We mastered physical sex in a way that for each of us, right, so she managed to master her body and her physical sex, and I’ve mastered my body, my physical sex, and we’ve got that just dialed. But yet, we also are feeling all of this stuff energetically, I’m going to be doing a show coming up, about how men can use their penis to feel all kinds of things that are going on with their woman; it’s going to tell them, it’s gonna, it’s gonna tell them where she’s at, and what to do next, and what not to do. Like, how to really it’s like a sensor can feel everything. I’m going to be talking about that in an upcoming show. But you’re, you’re feeling all of this stuff energetically. And then you’re looking at this person that you’re sharing this incredibly intimate moment with. And you’re feeling a lot of deep love for them.

When you can bring all three of those components into the lovemaking. I guarantee you that you will have the most amazing lovemaking that you have ever had in your entire life. You’re going to lay there going I like words won’t flow. You won’t even know how to express it. But you’ll know that that was absolutely amazing. Mind-blowing out of this world. Fucking amazing sex And then you’re gonna want more. So I know I covered a lot in this episode, I talked about a lot of things, but it didn’t necessarily tell you how to do each one. I mean, obviously, it took an entire show just to go through that formula. And like I said, I’ve done and Céline. And I have done episodes on almost every one of these pieces, if not every single one of them. So go back and find the ones that talk about the specific piece you need to know more about.

And of course, if you want a guide to guide you through this process, either as an individual or as a couple together, go to my website, Kevin and Céline dot com, and book a call with me, I can teach you how to do all of this stuff. It is so so worth it. If you want to not only have the best sex of your life but want to take your relationship to the next level. This is one of the ways that you can do that. And I can be your guide through that process. Alright, everybody, I hope that you found this valuable, I hope that you’ve learned something, I hope that I pique your interest in how you can show up better for yourself and for your partner in the bedroom. And that is all I have for you for this week. And I will see you next week.

I hope you liked this episode of the Love Lab podcast. If you enjoyed this show, subscribe. Leave us a review and share it with your friends. And for more free exclusive content. Join me in the passion vault at Kevin and Céline dot com forward slash full that’s Kevin and Céline dot com forward slash fault. Thanks for listening. And remember, as Céline used to say, you’re amazing!