How To Foreplay – Tips and Tricks For All

Kevin Anthony 0:11
Welcome to the love lab podcast a safe place to get real about sex. Whether you’re a man or a woman, single or couple, this is the show for you.

Céline Remy 0:20
We are your hosts Kevin Anthony and Celine Remy and we are here to guide you to go from good to amazing in the bedroom and beyond.

Kevin Anthony 0:28
Alright, welcome back to the love lab podcast. This is Episode 93 is titled How to for play tips and tricks for all it’s an episode about foreplay Need I say more? In other words, it’s gonna be fun. But I do want to say that the reason we decided to do this episode this week is that this past weekend we were laying in bed and we were having this deep intellectual discussion and it got Celine all hot and bothered and turned on.

Kevin Anthony 0:59
So one of the things that we were we were thinking about at that moment and talking about after the intellectual conversation, at least anyway, was that, that most people probably wouldn’t think that is foreplay or that is something that would turn them on, like, having deep discussions about world issues and philosophy and stuff like that, but it was for us. And so we thought, okay, you know, we should really have a discussion about what is foreplay really because it means different things to different people.

Céline Remy 1:26
Yes, and not all four players sexual and we’ve got a lot to cover. I’m already all like, excited this whole prep of the foreplay was foreplay for me.

Kevin Anthony 1:38
Well, let’s hurry up and get this episode over with.

Céline Remy 1:41
Well, as you’ll see, it doesn’t always lead need to lead to penetration. Well, that’s true. Anyway, I’m going way too fast. So before we get started into our foreplay episode, let’s give a shout out to our sponsor power and mastery.

Céline Remy 1:56
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Kevin Anthony 2:14
So check it out at power in mastery calm and then some not even just the foreplay, but yes, you will learn a lot about foreplay in sexual mastery. Alright, so before we go any further, I don’t know that we really need to but we’re going to define what is generally considered to be foreplay. So the actual dictionary definition of foreplay is the sexual stimulation of one’s partner usually as a prelude to sexual intercourse, for meaning before play. So yeah, generally something you do before you actually have intercourse.

Céline Remy 2:55
And as you’re gonna see, this definition is way too limiting. We are going to explain You’re thinking and blow your mind. Oh, yeah. Oh yeah, get ready. So why is foreplay important you ask? Well, foreplay triggers physiological and physical responses that make you want sex and do it more often. I mean, it keeps the arousal flowing, making it easier to go from zero to 10 in mere seconds or minutes.

Céline Remy 3:24
Because sometimes, well, actually, most of the time, we don’t all get aroused at the same time. And so for some people that will take a little bit longer forever, it’s a different thing that gets them around. So having foreplay helps to keep this arousal flowing and going making it easier to get into the sexy mood.

Kevin Anthony 3:49
Yeah.

Céline Remy 3:52
So what are some examples of four plays? I know we’re getting really basic. We’re not here to bore you, but we got to lay out a really strong foundation because this is essential for like solid ground.

Kevin Anthony 4:05
Yeah, you know, we have to give you a basic idea. And then we’re going to expand it a lot and change it a lot.

Céline Remy 4:16
So foreplay means different things to different people. And please note, just like I mentioned earlier, it doesn’t have to lead to intercourse a could be the main event on its own foreplay doesn’t have to lead to penetration and intercourse. And this is the third time already that I’m saying it’s in less than five minutes because that’s that important.

Kevin Anthony 4:40
Well, yeah, and especially when we get to our definition of what foreplay means, it’s going to be really important that people understand that concept. But we will wait till we get there because we’ve got a couple of things we want to talk about before that but just Yeah, really important to remember. It doesn’t have to lead anywhere.

Kevin Anthony 4:59
So but what’s interesting is when you look at the dictionary definition of foreplay, it says, usually as a prelude to sexual intercourse. So there are two interesting things about that. The first one is it says, usually, it doesn’t say always. Hmm, right. So there’s they’re already starting to agree with us. But then the second thing is, even though it says usually implies that that’s really kind of what it’s for is delete to sexual intercourse.

Kevin Anthony 5:33
It’s interesting the way that the dictionary definition is worded. That’s why we felt it was kind of important to go over. So let’s talk about some of the things that most people generally consider to be foreplay.

Céline Remy 5:44
Absolutely. Well, let’s start with an obvious one. So he’s saying and making out and have heavy petting. You know, that’s the kind of things you do when you start your exploration because you can do anything else and while this leads you to some form of satisfaction

Kevin Anthony 6:00
Yeah, absolutely. And you know, this is, yeah, I factored oil while researching this. I was reading that, because you mentioned Heavy Petting and that, that sort of petting type of foreplay in some places like in Africa. That is all they’re allowed to do until they’re actually married. Mm-hmm.

Céline Remy 6:24
Yeah. Well, that’s pretty sad.

Kevin Anthony 6:26
So that’s a law, foreplay.

Céline Remy 6:30
or sex could be considered another foreplay, verbalizing things like the discussion that we were having, and it doesn’t have to be dirty talking. It could be dirty talking. But for people who are turned down by words and concepts like me, that verbalization and using words turn me on.

Kevin Anthony 6:51
You know, I think that we ended this oral sex of way too quickly. Oh, really.

Céline Remy 6:55
There’s more to it.

Kevin Anthony 6:58
Well, I did want to acknowledge that some people consider sex as opposed to foreplay.

Céline Remy 7:03
Well, I mean, look at the word oral sex. There’s sex in it. Yeah, yeah, it definitely goes a little further than, say kissing or touching. So I just I kind of wanted to acknowledge that some people will go, Wait a minute. That’s not foreplay. That’s actual sex. But it can be foreplay, too. It just sort of depends on your definition. Mm-hmm.

Céline Remy 7:25
Well, other things could be things like sexy dancing, striptease. It could be things like sensory play, where you engage your senses, and we’ll talk more about that later. It could be things like porn or sexy video. Now, you don’t have to watch other people having sex you could. Everyone basically nowadays has a phone. So there’s, it’s super easy to put it on a tripod and film yourself having sex and trust us. It’s a massive turnout.

Kevin Anthony 7:55
Really. It’s not like we’ve ever done that.

Céline Remy 7:59
Well, yes, we’ve done it. This is why we’re telling people it’s a good thing to do.

Céline Remy 8:09
But here’s the thing, like what’s awesome too, but making your own movie is that you get to do exactly what turns you on. And you get to appreciate one another very differently and it helps you get over the embarrassment of what you sound like or look like and you can watch your partner reacting to watching you having sex like the two of you having sex, and it’s actually really hard because then you get to see it through your partner’s eyes.

Kevin Anthony 8:37
Just make sure you don’t sync it to the cloud. Turn that sync function off.

Céline Remy 8:47
Alright, let’s talk a few more things here that we can consider for play and I’m sure there are more by the way, but sensual massage is another option and also massage Like using your hands in doing research just before this show, we were texting with our sister in law and I asked her Hey, by the way, what’s your favorite foreplay you know random things you ask your sister in law right any given time.

Céline Remy 9:13
And you know, she was gracious enough to answer me back that actually was a backrub. Yeah. So using your hand’s massages, it doesn’t even have to be sensual or sexual cuddling and hugging can be great for play as well as talking. And I think talking kind of goes with the verbalizing where the dirty talking like there are so many aspects of talking not just dirty talking.

Kevin Anthony 9:41
Yeah. And you know, I put on here using your hands and I noticed you skipped over that because we already talked about massage but specifically what I wanted to say with using your hands was using your hands to stimulate each other’s genitals.

Céline Remy 9:56
Oh, well, you had to be a little more specific.

Kevin Anthony 10:00
Well, I figured I would elaborate while we were on the air. But that’s a form of foreplay, right?

Céline Remy 10:08
Absolutely. And again, there’s probably more, you know, like for me, oh, well, why not talking about this? I’m very curious. Kevin, let’s start with you. Tell us about your four plays. What are the things you love as four plays for yourself

Kevin Anthony 10:22
to receive as for a play or to give? Well,

Céline Remy 10:25
that’s a two parts question. Now you just made it even bigger. So start with giving,

Kevin Anthony 10:34
receiving, okay, I love to touch. So any form of touch is great foreplay for me. So massage, even, you know, back rub, shoulders, genitals, whatever. That’s one of my favorites, for sure. Especially if it’s like on a weekday or something and we’re kind of tired and stressed from long workdays. Like in order to really get in the mood for sex. It helps to relax so by far it is one of my favorites.

Kevin Anthony 11:05
Let’s see, you know, we put here on the list of a sexy dance. And since you are a dancer and you’d like to do those for me, I put it up there as one of my favorites. It always gets me in the mood. And then, of course, oral sex.

Céline Remy 11:21
Yeah, I was wondering if that one was finally going to come.

Kevin Anthony 11:25
Oh, no, no, no, not during foreplay. No, so those would be a couple of my favorite ones for sure. Out of the list. I would put cuddling on there too. You know, especially if it’s naked. Mm-hmm.

Céline Remy 11:41
Okay. So And what about giving out the difference of well it because I know you’re not so much of a dancer. So anytime I ask you for a low striptease. It comes with a little like, Am I you sure.

Kevin Anthony 11:53
I gotta be in the mood. Right? You’re right. The last time you asked. I was definitely not in the mood, but I have given you a few good ones. That is correct.

Céline Remy 12:00
So is there a difference? Is there something more in giving that is different? Or does it vary depending on who you’re giving to,

Kevin Anthony 12:07
you know, when it comes to giving for play really, what’s most important is that it’s the kind that you want. Mm-hmm. So it doesn’t necessarily matter to me as long as you’re enjoying it. Because the whole point of it is supposed to get you in the mood. It’s supposed to make you hot make you want to have sex with me. So whatever that is, is what I like to give.

Kevin Anthony 12:33
You know, so and you like touch too. So sometimes touches is a good one for you, especially if you’re a little too stuck in your head that often helps. You know, oral sex definitely always helps. But here’s another one that you like a lot.

Céline Remy 12:51
Yes, you’re gonna say mine for me. Go for it. I know what you’re gonna say. I appreciate you talking.

Kevin Anthony 12:57
Yeah. Some form of talking. In your case appreciation So yeah, I like to do that with you because I know that you like

Céline Remy 13:05
100%. For me, my foreplay is my turn-ons like, honestly, it’s I pretty much as default will go to talking. And sometimes I have to pause because talking is not always appropriate if Kevin’s super tired. And I’m trying to like duck, duck, duck, duck, duck, duck, duck, and it’s actually draining him rather than energizing him and it’s energizing me. Sometimes I pause and I go, like, what am I trying to achieve through this?

Céline Remy 13:33
And oftentimes, I realize I’m trying to create a connection or heart connection. And that happens not too long ago where I say that as a positive, like, you know, what I really want is a heart connection. But is there another way to create a heart connection? And I think we literally like just hug naked and now really led to that and help me in helping me drop.

Céline Remy 13:56
So sometimes I think we have default pathways of what We know works for us. But it’s not always the best strategy for the moment of what’s needed for the two people involved. And I think that’s very important. Also, I think another really big turn on for me and it’s one we still working on four and a half years in is guessing. Yeah.

Kevin Anthony 14:19
That’s true. I’m not as big of a kisser as you are.

Céline Remy 14:22
That’s true. I love kissing. I could do this for hours. And Kevin’s like, after half a second. He’s like, ah, but it’s getting wet. Yes, it’s the whole point.

Kevin Anthony 14:34
I’m totally fine with kissing and I love kissing you. But like if we’re kissing for more than a few minutes, I’m like, what are we in high school now when all we can do is kiss you know? each other a little bit. I’m like, come on. Let’s move on. Is that more fun?

Céline Remy 14:50
Absolutely. So I think this would be mine would definitely be the kissing the talking. And then some touching but actually Touching may not be the first thing I want to go to. Sometimes there’s a part of me that is not wanting the touching because I’m thinking I want the head connection first.

Céline Remy 15:10
But in reality, I need touching. I don’t know if that really makes sense for you listening. But probably every woman listening to I like yeah, I get this. So sometimes well, like Kevin will be like, okay, you have no choice. Women lay down. I’m touching you.

Kevin Anthony 15:25
Always works,

Céline Remy 15:26
It actually always does, even if I’m like, No, but no, but no, you know, we also have a whole room around like, when I say no, it means Well, actually, there’s a way of saying no, but if I just say, Well, I’m not sure if I really say no, it’s a real No, it’s clear No, he knows it to know. But if I go like, I don’t know, I don’t really want it. It’s kind of a game and it is foreplay on its own, of being chased by you and having like a power dynamic going on. Yeah.

Kevin Anthony 15:57
Okay. So there has to be a huge caveat here. With what you just told everybody, here’s the thing, the most important thing that you could know about, you know, any sort of sexual engagement that you’re going to have with somebody is that yes means yes. No means no and maybe means no. Mm-hmm. If somebody’s not 100% Yes, then it’s a no.

Kevin Anthony 16:22
Here’s the thing that she just said is a no for her might be a maybe, or maybe for her might be a yes. Or, you know. So but here’s the reason why she can do that. It is because we’ve had this conversation, right. I know that she’s already told me what to look for. So she makes it very clear when something’s unknown. She’s like, no, at the Nope, no.

Céline Remy 16:45
Mm-hmm.

Kevin Anthony 16:45
And if she’s like, wow, I don’t know. I don’t know. I know this about her because we’ve been together long enough that she likes to kind of play that little power play game and that sometimes that’s what she wants. And here’s the thing If I guess wrong, and that’s not actually what she intended in that moment, she’ll lay down a harder, no. And then it’s like, okay,

Céline Remy 17:06
yeah. Then I know, actually, at the beginning of our relationship, you never pushed it further when I was saying, like, I’m not sure. And I was like, Why are you stopping and then we literally sat down. And this is something we’re going to talk about, in a bit more about foreplay. But I literally sat you down, I was like, let me explain to you how I function what works for me.

Céline Remy 17:26
This is what I really want when I say this. And this is how I see it. That’s what it looks like. It took a few years of us being together and exploring before we found the groove of what really worked. So it’s not something that we did from the get-go. It’s not something that I would do with any stranger. It’s something when you’re like in an established relationship, a committed relationship, whatever that looks like for you. And you’ve had the time to build the trust the connection and you’ve had to talk not when having sex but at a different time.

Kevin Anthony 17:57
Yeah, the important thing to know guys is If she is unclear and you don’t already have this agreement, that means no, don’t push forward. Yeah, exactly that that basically means no. So that was an important caveat. But, but it’s it is actually a fun game once you understand all that. So okay. So thank you for sharing the things that return on for you. Like for four bucks.

Kevin Anthony 18:23
So this all kind of leads us so we’ve talked about, you know, what is the dictionary definition? What are things that most people consider for play then we talked a little bit about, you know, what we like to do for foreplay? But we kind of has our own definition of foreplay. So something that we teach in our courses, I’m sure we’ve talked about it multiple times here on the show. But it’s

Céline Remy 18:48
foreplay is basically the gap in between the last time you had sex and the next time you have sex. And what that means is that it’s not something that starts as soon as you get into the bedroom and close the door and get in a sexy mood. It’s something that starts as soon as you’re done with lovemaking until the next time you have sex again.

Kevin Anthony 19:11
Yeah. And it’s what we call the constant state of arousal. And that I know we’ve talked about on the show before where it’s like, rather than if 100 miles an hour equals sexual intercourse, rather than trying to go from zero to 100. All of a sudden, if you have that constant state of arousal, you’ve been doing this all the time throughout the day, every day, when it’s time for sex, maybe you only have to go from 40 to 100 or 60 to 100.

Kevin Anthony 19:36
It’s a much shorter distance because you’ve already got a little bit of that turn on there, huh? Absolutely. So I think the point I really want to emphasize here is don’t think of foreplay is only something you do for five minutes before you’re about to have sex.

Céline Remy 19:54
Now because this is never going to last, you’re not going to sustain that in a long term relationship.

Kevin Anthony 20:00
Exactly, especially in a long term relationship, that that probably works in a new relationship, you know, but in a long term relationship that doesn’t work. So think of four plays little things that you do every day. You know, as you go through the course of your normal day, little things a little grab here, a little kiss their little massage here, there.

Céline Remy 20:22
All right. All right. So you’re going a little fast because this is where we’re going to go on how to do foreplay. Well, yes, that’s true. But before we do that, we want to invite you to our relationship synergy program. So if you’re longing for more connection, deeper intimacy and red hot passion in your relationship, and that includes foreplay, your committed couple who loves each other but has lost a spark and has fallen into a boring routine.

Céline Remy 20:47
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Kevin Anthony 21:09
Alright, so we’re gonna split how to do foreplay into two sections. The first one is how to do your standard foreplay, like how to do it well with some details that I think a lot of people just overlook, you know, because I think a lot of times people are just like, oh, if I just stroke right here or lick right, they’re so good. But there’s so much more that could be done. And then we’ll, we’ll get back to that constant state of arousal piece that I already started talking about.

Céline Remy 21:36
Alright, so when you are thinking about foreplay, think about sensual think senses. It’s important to create an environment that invites all of the senses to be stimulated. We’re going to break it down, of course, what are you senses, right? So we’ll start with sight. You want to have a beautiful distraction-free environment, that one you’re looking for. It invites relaxation and hopefully even like, puts you in a mood of just like, Oh, this is sexy, right.

Céline Remy 22:08
And this is one thing as a little side note that we cover that a lot when we work one on one with our clients, but your bedroom should be a sanctuary for your love. And so that’s another place where you have TV and all the photos of your kids and things that don’t feel very sexual. This is where you have the sexy photos of each other where you have something that reminds you of the love that you have for one another.

Céline Remy 22:33
And you will reserve the family photos for the living room for the kitchen for the hallway for different places in your bedroom. It’s mission is to give you good rest and good sex.

Kevin Anthony 22:45
Yeah, and so obviously you want things that cultivate that or that inspire that and you also want to remove things that are distracting. So there may be things in there that you know, it’s not that they’re, it’s not that they’re not aiding in creating that mood. It’s just that they’re distracting. Like one of the things they always say is you shouldn’t have a bookshelf loaded with books.

Kevin Anthony 23:11
You know, it’s like a Feng Shui thing in your bedroom because it’s distracting because every time you see it, you start scanning the titles of the books and stuff like that.

Céline Remy 23:18
Oh, a laundry pile that you see so that you’re reminded that you haven’t done the laundry.

Kevin Anthony 23:22
Exactly, exactly. So you want to remove all the things in your bedroom that could be distracting that remind you of all the tasks that keep you in your headspace right and prevent you from getting into your body space. Things that are just a flat out turn off like you know, for most people, I think, you know, if you’re about to, you’re trying to get in the mood and then you look over like pictures of kids that that does not help the mood at all.

Kevin Anthony 23:49
So you remove all that kind of stuff. And you create this sanctuary that is relaxing. And is sexy, it’s conducive to To the events that you’re trying to create.

Céline Remy 24:04
So then we’re gonna think about sounds use music to transport each other, use your voice to seduce each other whisper how much you appreciate her or him in their ears and, or things you love about your partner’s body. So again, this is like looking at how we’re using sounds here.

Céline Remy 24:23
We’re using it as music, which most people will think about, but your voice itself What are you doing if your voice or use sounds like, Ah, you know, this types, you know, I’m not gonna go too far because it’s going to be absolutely like G-rated.

Kevin Anthony 24:38
Or the other day we have this giant crystal singing bowl, playing this giant crystal symbol and it vibrates everything within like five or six feet of where it’s sitting. It just vibrates. So I had you laying down and I was just

Céline Remy 24:53
my legs open and I was totally feeling it. Yeah, absolutely. Here are the kinky things. We do.

Kevin Anthony 25:00
Okay, sound bowls.

Céline Remy 25:04
It’s pretty ridiculous, but it works. So who cares? You know, don’t yuck somebody else’s thumbs. That’s a very important rule here. You know, if it turns you on and you like it and you’re not harming anyone, go for it. Yeah, that’s really a rule of thumb. Okay, now we’re thinking senses of smell. So use things that will really like, again, activate that sense like essential oils or candles, scented massage oil.

Céline Remy 25:29
So whether it’s a diffuser or it’s a candle, or it’s something you put on each other, smells really help. Also, what’s pretty cool about smells that I’ve noticed is there’s kind of a Pavlovian response to certain smells. If you always use a particular sentence or for a particular action, which is really sexy. You literally going to start to get turned down just by smelling it.

Kevin Anthony 25:52
Absolutely.

Céline Remy 25:54
I love this. Of course, now we’ve got the sense of touch that Do you need to bring into your fireplace and of course, we talked about using hands that’s what Kevin was talking about earlier but you can go beyond that. And think of like fabrics. Or silky underwear that you’re wearing. That you have on your something to use on each other.

Céline Remy 26:19
You could even use like a scarf, a silk scarf and just like grass each other with this I mean, feathers I’m in so many different things, but you want to think of that and it doesn’t all have to be silky. It could even be like different

Kevin Anthony 26:34
soft and furry. It could be you know just something that’s pleasurable. Something that is pleasurable to the touch and pleasurable to you know, when you’re just moving it around in your skin, it could even just be having you know, silk or satin sheets or something like that stimulate in a positive way. response

Céline Remy 26:54
and you can use also temperature with this like heat or cold, warm like Different things Some people love really cold. I don’t but I know a few people who love it. And so you could use that. Ice cubes or boots, but like a spoon in the freezer and literally like use it later or like another game that I really like is trying to guess what I’m touching you with. So you blindfold you get things from the kitchen or wherever you want and you have to put them to guess what the heck you’re using on them.

Kevin Anthony 27:26
Well, remember when we played that game, it guessed what I have is blindfolded and it was a guess Which body part is touching? I failed that one.

Céline Remy 27:41
Okay, we have one more sense that we haven’t brought into the experience here which is taste. And so think of things from fruits that you can feed each other to the taste of your own lips. Especially if the person is blindfolded. It can be so erotic and sensual to play with that With a taste, or just a taste of each other’s genitals, I mean, that’s sexy too. I mean, really, it can go a long way here and let you use your wild imagination.

Kevin Anthony 28:10
Yeah, and you know, I’m going to add another one on here, and you sort of said it, but in a different way, okay, which is I’m going to add temperature, because a lot of this stuff is like it’s sort of setting the scene, right. And a very important thing, when it comes to setting the scene is making sure that it’s warm because if it’s not warm, nobody wants to take their clothes off. So that could be set up in front of the fire. It could mean having, you know, big, nice warm blankets.

Kevin Anthony 28:41
It could mean having maybe something like a heating blanket or Jade mat or something underneath you. You know, if it’s summertime and it’s super hot, then you might want to cool things down a little bit, but for most of the rest of the year, make sure that it’s the environment itself. is warm.

Céline Remy 29:01
So I want to address a big question that we hear a lot with people, which is what if my partner doesn’t seem interested in foreplay? Hold on,

Kevin Anthony 29:09
we have to cover this right?

Céline Remy 29:11
We’ve already talked about the constant state of arousal earlier. Is there something else you want to add?

Kevin Anthony 29:16
I just got started on it. And you’re like, wait, don’t go there.

Céline Remy 29:20
All right. Well, keep coming, Kevin.

Kevin Anthony 29:25
Well, because we also started the session by saying first we were gonna cover what, what most people consider foreplay, and then we were gonna go into more of the constant state of routes. So I didn’t, I didn’t want to disappoint you all since we promised you we would talk about that.

Céline Remy 29:39
shot came you.

Kevin Anthony 29:44
So the first thing is, are all those things we just talked about, about setting the scene. So combine those with that list we gave you at the beginning of the show of things that most people consider. Four-point play, right? So combine the smell and the sound and all that with the massage and the oral sex and all those other things.

Kevin Anthony 29:59
We talked about multiple different ways you can combine that to create all kinds of different things for your foreplay. Now, outside of the bedroom outside of the actual lovemaking session, there’s what we call the constant state of arousal. And I started to give you a couple of ideas about what that would look like. And I thought we should give them a few more.

Céline Remy 30:20
So basically, the goal here is that you want to turn your entire life into giant foreplay. Yeah, I mean, that really, is it. But what that looks like is that you want to acknowledge that you are sensual sexual beings throughout the day, there shouldn’t be a day that goes by without having stimulated, and there’s a bit of that energy.

Kevin Anthony 30:40
Yeah. And so some examples of that would be like Celine really likes appreciations? Okay, so what if the only time I gave her appreciations was right before sex? Oh,

Céline Remy 30:50
yeah. What I would don’t want it probably.

Kevin Anthony 30:53
Well, you know, you wouldn’t because you here’s what you would think you would think the only reason you’re appreciating me is that you want to fuck me. Huh, that’s the association that you would make. So the idea is, you know when it comes to appreciations is to give appreciations all the time absent. So this is always feeling appreciated.

Céline Remy 31:11
You want to keep the touch going. A lot of people, they only touch each other and there’s a certain way sequence of touching that happens that leads to penetration. You want to think about touch as being something you do because you’re in a relationship with each other, not because it has to lead to something in particular, as a matter of fact, for all the men listening right now, it’s very important.

Céline Remy 31:31
Stop always associating your special touch with when you want to have sex and make it as part of your daily routine with no agendas or expectations. And trust me, she will receive that so much more enthusiastically.

Kevin Anthony 31:45
Oh, yes, absolutely. So all of those things, you know, make sure that you know if she likes to kiss her on a regular basis, you know, depending on what kind of agreements you have, like, like, I know No Celine actually loves when I grab her, but, you know, or walk by and grab her boobs not every woman’s gonna like that, right? So like, if you’re just like walking through the kitchen, you’re like, you know, a lot of women are gonna get mad at you.

Kevin Anthony 32:13
But if you know that that’s something that she likes, then do it on a regular basis. Don’t just wait for that one time when it’s Oh, now it’s time for sex. Right?

Céline Remy 32:21
Hmm.

Kevin Anthony 32:21
And so that’s the idea is, a lot of these things can be done all the time. And if they’re done in playful sort of teasing fashion, when both of you know that, there’s no time for sex, you’re in the middle of the day, you got work, you got kids, you go whatever it is, but you’re keeping that sort of fire stoked, so that when it is time for sex, it’s like, boom, you’re already a significant percentage of the way there.

Céline Remy 32:46
Mm-hmm. By the way, I know we’ve already said that in some shows, but I’m gonna say it again because it’s important. oral sex is great for play giving him a blowjob. I’m going to talk specifically for a guy and it’s really really, really important to make this that It doesn’t have to end in ejaculation or orgasms.

Céline Remy 33:03
And guys, if you want more blowjob, just make it that you can make it as long as she wants and whether it’s a three minutes, five minutes, and that it doesn’t end when you come in her mouth or anywhere else, it ends when she’s done.

Kevin Anthony 33:14
Yeah, I know, it’s probably one of the biggest reason women don’t give more blow jobs is that they’re not always in the mood to have somebody ejaculate their mouth, or take however long it takes, right or

Céline Remy 33:27
just that then they know if they start him. They have to finish him in whatever way and there’s too much pressure. So this is very important. But for the sake of time, I want to move on and address a big, big, big question that people have a big objection. We want to remove all objections for you to have plenty of foreplay.

Céline Remy 33:44
What if, what if my partner doesn’t seem interested in foreplay, and we have already started talking about this with the idea of like, Hey, don’t make it that it has to lead to a certain outcome and don’t always tie your four plates. To like on the when you want to have sex, but also another important thing that Kevin mentioned earlier, that was really important.

Céline Remy 34:08
That’s why I want to bring it back when we were talking about what turns us on. He says, what I love to give is what you love to receive and what you want. And ultimately, I think that’s the key to that. But if you don’t know yet what your partner likes, number one thing you need to start with is, first of all, you’re going to have to have communication but in the communication, it’s important that you stay positive, don’t blame shame, criticize, and so it’s more powerful to say and love it.

Céline Remy 34:39
When you gently stroke my body towards my pussy and bring energy there rather than in never give my body any attention.

Kevin Anthony 34:49
Oh, yeah. The big difference between those two, right?

Céline Remy 34:51
Which one do you think that he’ll respond best to him or she because it’s it works both? It’s not like gender-specific. But like if you start to make it irresistible or that part, the partner is going to be much more excited about giving this to you. And then there’s a whole thing about the show and tell because sometimes people don’t give it to you because they’re not sure about doing it well and show Intel is about literally showing and telling what you like, and it’s a really fun game to play on the date nights or,

Kevin Anthony 35:24
I mean, you should always be doing this when it comes to sex. If you’re not getting what you want. You want to tell the person what it is you do want and if they’re not sure, show them how to do it.

Céline Remy 35:31
Exactly. And then it’s also asking them to be curious like Kevin said, I want to give her what she likes, like those discussions we’ve had here and it’s not because you liked it like or you knew that two years ago that you’re still gonna like the same things, things will change. And that’s the beauty of it. When you long term relationship.

Céline Remy 35:53
You don’t have to be stuck in always doing the same thing. And I love that. And then one last real After you’ve asked what they want, and the partner tells you is also the person if you’re the one who’s not getting enough for playing your interview, tell them why it’s important to you. Because if your partner is not doing the foreplay you want, it’s because they don’t know why it’s so important.

Céline Remy 36:18
And when you why it’s important to get very real things like it helps me get wetter. Or I get harder for you so that when it’s time to penetrate you, I can give you a good pounding. Or it

Kevin Anthony 36:31
relaxes me.

Céline Remy 36:33
Oh, yes, so that then I can have stronger erections. Or it helps me have stronger

Kevin Anthony 36:38
orgasms get you out of your head and into your body.

Céline Remy 36:41
It helps me feel closer to you. It increases my connection to my body. Now I start to know erogenous zones and I’m starting to have full-body orgasms rather than just a genital experience.

Kevin Anthony 36:53
Absolutely.

Céline Remy 36:54
So once you start to put it into like all these great big why’s and it’s like yeah, of course, I want to give that to that to my person. Mm-hmm.

Kevin Anthony 37:03
Absolutely. Absolutely. You know, I would also say that if you’re somebody that is sort of struggling with your sexual performance, then foreplay can also be a way to help make up for that. Right so if you know that that you can’t last very long well extend before play.

Céline Remy 37:26
Yeah and golfing do it in making four play that’s, that doesn’t go too high too fast. Because if you struggle with lasting long enough, you can’t go too quickly because then it will be too arousing for you, and you’ll explode and so that can help you acclimate to feeling more sexual energy, feeling your partner has more of that and gently acclimate to it so that you’re not getting overwhelmed by the amount of sexual energy and then explodes.

Kevin Anthony 37:54
Yeah.

Céline Remy 37:56
So I don’t know I had a few things I wanted to add Maybe I can do give you three.

Kevin Anthony 38:02
Just real quick three tips.

Céline Remy 38:03
Yes, three tips that we want to leave you with here. Maybe more unusual foreplay, because we’ve given you more of the usual things, right. And we want you to think outside of the box. And we want you to start foreplaying right away. So, number one, learn something new and exciting together. And it’s about developing your creativity because creativity and sexual energy are closely linked.

Céline Remy 38:26
And people who do new things, it fires new things in the brain, and that it also makes that sexual energy more alive when you’re when people say, I feel so juiced up and alive. Well, it’s the same energy in the bedroom and outside of the bedroom. So if you start to learn new things in life, you’re going to be turned on by these new things. And if you do those together, that’s also going to create a special bond and then it’s going to help you want to do more together.

Kevin Anthony 38:52
Oh, yeah.

Céline Remy 38:52
Oh, yeah. Now,

Céline Remy 38:54
something that people have forgotten because we live in this very technological world. Write each other sexy letters. When was the last time you wrote a love letter or sexy letter? It could be a little note. It could be a card, it could be something you mail in the mailbox. I haven’t done that for you once.

Kevin Anthony 39:11
And you know, if you’ve forgotten how to write because it’s basically a lost skill at this point. You know, you can do texts. I mean, sometimes you send me sexy texts or even little, little beams that are fun.

Céline Remy 39:26
Yeah, stuff like that. Absolutely. But I wanted to think a little bit outside of the box here. And then the last tip, and it’s kind of one of our fun rules for our date night, which is basically can play any game, like quiz game board game or poker with a twist. And really, this is what our rule is, is we have to do something together and we have to be naked.

Kevin Anthony 39:50
That’s one of our date night rules, as we’ve said many times on this show exactly.

Céline Remy 39:53
So we don’t always play a game. The only game is we get naked and do something together naked.

Kevin Anthony 40:00
Do we mention Nick it definitely increases your chances of some fun?

Céline Remy 40:08
So I’m definitely much warmer than when we started this show that definitely got me going. I hope you got as inspired and juiced up and turned on as me. Don’t delay, start right away. And yeah, shoot us an email report to us how this is working for you.

Kevin Anthony 40:24
Absolutely. And you know, just have fun with it. All right, everybody. That’s all the time we have for this episode. And we will see you next week.

Céline Remy 40:38
We hope you liked this episode of the love lab podcast. If you enjoy this show, subscribe, leave us a review and share it with your friends. And for more free exclusive content. Join us in the passion vault at kevinanthonycoaching.com/vault. That’s ce li n e ER ny.com forward slash vault

Kevin Anthony 41:00
Thanks for listening

Céline Remy 41:01
and remember you are amazing.