How To Be More Feminine

Kevin Anthony 0:12
Welcome to the love lab podcast a safe place to get real about sex. Whether you’re a man, woman, single or couple, this is the show for you. Because well, sex. We are your hosts Kevin Anthony, Celine Remy rad. Welcome back to the love lab podcast. This is Episode 71. And it’s titled: “How to be more feminine.”

Kevin Anthony 0:36
Okay, almost every episode I start out with this is gonna be a fun episode and then I give you a reason why it’s going to be a fun episode. And when I realized today when I was you know, thinking about what the introduction was going to be is, I actually do think all of our episodes are fun. But let me tell you why. This one is either going to be really fun or It’s going to be really triggering, huh? Yeah. So we’ll see which category you fall into.

Kevin Anthony 1:07
But the idea of being feminine, especially in today’s atmosphere, can be quite triggering for some people. And you know, there’s been a whole push in society to strip gender out of everything and pretend it doesn’t exist and say that men and women are exactly the same, even though there are very obvious physical differences. So, we’re going to dive into that topic today. And you might get triggered and you might be sitting there and go on hell yes to everything we say.

Céline Remy 1:40
Absolutely nothing. Some of these things absolutely need to be shared out loud. And we know that it will be controversial. You may not have to agree with all of our ideas, or you may learn some new things. But I think it takes courage to be willing to speak about this and I’m proud of us for being willing to dip our toes into this and remember, this is a Small conversation of something really big and that there is so much more we can dive in even deeper than what we’re going to do. But this is to start a conversation right?

Kevin Anthony 2:09
What are we dipping into what?

Céline Remy 2:12
Oh, Kevin…

Céline Remy 2:15
so before we get started, let’s give a shout out to our sponsor. This episode is brought to you by power and mastery, the most complete sexual training for men to develop your stamina, boost your confidence and enhance your sexual abilities. If you haven’t yet done it, go to powerandmastery.com to check out all free courses. And this is really going to help you seriously change your sex life.

Céline Remy 2:44
And even though the courses are for men, we have some women who send them and to them or they do the sexual mastery kind of together he watches some of the videos and they do some of them together. So it will benefit you both. So go to the power and master jimmy.com

Kevin Anthony 3:01
Absolutely. And you’ll start to realize pretty quickly as we get into this topic that being more feminine is very closely related to being more masculine, which is a whole nother episode that we will do. So the course is really fit in there. Because if you want to have a woman who truly embraces her femininity, you have to be a man who truly embraces his masculine. And we’ll get into more of that later.

Céline Remy 3:26
If you want one of those men who is a really strong masculine man, you also need to know how to be feminine. And so I think that this episode will be beneficial to both men and women, that you will gain insight and values.

Kevin Anthony 3:43
Well, alright, so yeah, now that you said that, let me just say, if you’re a man, and you just tuned into this, and you’re like, Oh, this is all about women, so I’m going to skip this episode. Don’t be fucking stupid. Just put it that way. We’re giving you the rulebook the playbook you want to know about your woman? Listen to this damn episode. Don’t think this is just about women.

Céline Remy 4:10
So this was inspired by one of our listeners, Allison and what she said she sent us something and we’re just going to read it because I think it’s going to set a good context for the conversation that we having. She said I used to think that being feminine is being helpless other whiny, short dress, red lipstick cleavage, too much skin all the time. French maid type not too smart. Many of those things I don’t associate myself with and don’t even like. I hear you, Allison. But then I tried to think of my personal positive associations with being feminine and then it became better and more fun.

Kevin Anthony 4:48
Yeah, and you know, thank you, Allison for putting that into words. Because I think that in our modern society, that there’s this misconception that that’s what being feminine is about. And then and then on the other hand, you have the opposite misconception about what the whole sort of what people call the third wave feminist movement thinks being feminine is. And honestly, in my opinion, sorry to piss some of you off, you’re both wrong. Let’s just put it out there, you’re both wrong.

Céline Remy 5:19
And this is a conversation that I have over and over with every women basically, who wants to work with me. I think we lack really good role models. It’s so difficult to find women that are so inspiring because if we look in the past, and we see the 50s housewife model for most, it’s not going to be something that’s appealing.

Céline Remy 5:43
And then you can start to see the modern woman and the super feminist women and oftentimes they can be stuck in being really angry, mad at the masculine angry at the world and have so much energy that they are mad at everything. I don’t want to be that

Kevin Anthony 6:02
Iver and ironically, they’re actually rather masculine.

Céline Remy 6:05
Yes. And they all about the feminine and so it’s so hard to find those role models, but we are out there. I see myself as one of them. I knew I inspire a lot of women. And I wasn’t always like, I wouldn’t say as feminine as I am now, I actually grew up considering myself being a tomboy. And I was an I was a gymnast. I was like, at a pro-level I competed you know, trained like three times a week competed on the weekend.

Céline Remy 6:37
I have a brother and I would most of the time feel more comfortable and being around guys, boys at that time. And I would do all the things like being a gymnast as I would go like hang in the trees and go explore caves and like, do all the stuff really or be on my bike and do like I was never afraid of doing any of that. And so I would say that that’s kind of like how I grew up and I would associate as a matter of fact, I don’t know if he knows that, Kevin, but I used to hate the color pink.

Kevin Anthony 7:11
Actually, I didn’t know that about you.

Céline Remy 7:12
Yeah, I refused to have anything pink.

Kevin Anthony 7:16
Maybe we should show the listeners your wardrobe now.

Céline Remy 7:21
Any little thing of clothing and my you know, bottle and there’s like this big everywhere now. But I’m bringing this up because I wasn’t always maybe as comfortable in my feminine essence in my body and being a woman as I am now. I had to make some changes. We’re going to talk about those in this episode too. And if I did it, you can too. That’s really why I’m sharing that because if I was able to do that anyone can do it.

Kevin Anthony 7:53
Absolutely. And we’ll talk about why you might want to do that and all that. But before we get to that, so I thought it was important. You briefly hinted at it just a moment ago.

Céline Remy 8:05
But I want to dive more into it and what is what does it mean to be feminine today versus maybe the old image of being feminine? So you talked about the old image, right? Which is and you have what you’ve broken down into three stages is being feminine. And so I would love to go over that a little bit because that really covers what it used to mean what it kind of morphed into after that the sort of backlash the pendulum swing off to the other side and then what you believe really is the I don’t want to say the end you know, destination but the next evolution of femininity I love that next level next evolution.

Céline Remy 8:49
Alright, so let’s start with stage number one and I call this stage the dose I’ll feminine and to me, it’s it is kind of the outdated, feminine And, and it’s that place that a woman can be in where she’s like, hey, I need a man and need somebody to save me. I also call this the princess syndrome. And you know, because everything that we’ve learned as kids is like, the prince charming is going to come and save you and it’s like somebody else outside of yourself is going to magically make your world better.

Céline Remy 9:24
And this type of woman is feminine, but she is also a little bit needy, and she can be a pushover and the relationship that she has with the masculine are definitely not that next level that you talking about Kevin and it’s more like this. More of a dominant man and then he or she is kind of like that pushover or she’s in a week not having opinions, not standing up for herself. And I think that’s what, what led women to step into stage two.

Kevin Anthony 10:00
So so in stage one, they probably have a lot of the characteristics that we would consider to be feminine, but they’re not empowered. So that speaks more to what Allison was talking about that sort of like we whiny, maybe not too smart, kind of not empowered,

Céline Remy 10:18
and just playing with the looks. And that’s all you’ve got, right? Yeah,

Kevin Anthony 10:21
absolutely. So, so Okay, so then in response to that, and this is so funny, because society does this all the time society swings from one extreme to the next. Right. So after generations of having that sort of docile stage, one of not being empowered and having to stay home and being excluded from whether it was voting or the workplace or all that stuff. We swung way in the other direction into what you would call stage two.

Céline Remy 10:53
I’ve named this one, this strong woman strong, feminine, and it is so empowering to step into There’s number two because you realizing that you are responsible for your own life and that you can create your destiny and the world is your oyster and there is so much out there and it’s like, I don’t need a man I can get shit done, I can have it all I’m going to have the kids to carry air, the money, the relaxation, the skills to have a home and to be able to trade the stock markets. And yes, you can and

Kevin Anthony 11:31
and no you can’t.

Céline Remy 11:34
It’s a myth that you can have it all at the same time. You can but there are times in life if you choose to be a mother. If you want to do it. Well, you will have to dedicate a certain amount of years that is mostly geared towards mothering. If you choose to have a career if you really want to do it well, it is the same thing. You have to give a lot of that energy and it’s hard to have all of these sayings.

Céline Remy 12:03
The way I see for most of the women who are thriving into that is you have to pick and choose this is the time to to be in my motherhood phase or this is damn to be my career or this is a time for exploration or whatever that is. Now, this, this is where most women tend to be stuck. So it’s the place where you like, yeah, I’ve made it you know, I’m out of this outdated model, because there’s no way I’m going to look like my grandmother. And

Kevin Anthony 12:32
even though your grandmother was probably actually much happier than you are,

Céline Remy 12:36
that is that’s a whole nother conversation. That is a good point. And, and there’s no denying that as having the rights I mean it independently of your gender, I think all humans should have access to the same rights. So that is, I’m just wanting to say that out there.

Kevin Anthony 12:51
Yeah. So we shouldn’t have to say this, but we will say it before people criticize us. Is that yes, absolutely. We believe that everybody should have the same rights. Everybody should you know be able to vote everybody should be able to be paid equally and be able to have the same jobs and all of that total hundred percent equality. Nobody is even debating that.

Céline Remy 13:15
Absolutely and you can love whoever you want to love just so we Claire and whether you love men, women, anything in between right,

Kevin Anthony 13:22
that is a given now that we’ve stated that let’s talk about some of the negative side effects of that. That movement.

Céline Remy 13:33
Yes. So when you are in that stage to oftentimes what I’ve noticed is there is anger associated with it are there is it’s a subtle or sometimes not so subtle way of emasculating all the ones around you. And there’s definitely a power imbalance so dynamic like this a fight going on oftentimes there.

Kevin Anthony 13:57
Yeah. So the way I would perceive that The way that I would describe that as a man is that rather than having a woman step up and be empowered in her femininity, what I see is a lot of women stepping into their masculinity. So it’s no longer I’m an empowered, feminine woman. It’s a, I am a masculine woman, and I’m going to compete with you on a masculine level. Now, I have to cut the women who have been in that place and slack because I understand how they got there. I get it, it was a male-dominated society.

Kevin Anthony 14:37
And the reaction to that was okay, if the men are setting the rules of the game, then I’m going to have to play by their rules, which means becoming more masculine. I see how that happened. And I can also say that I don’t believe that that was necessary. That’s just my opinion, and people can do agree but I think from a man’s point of view and and you you can maybe also chime in on this but I personally think that when a woman is at her most powerful when she has the most power she can have is when she uses what makes her a woman to be powerful not when she emulates what makes a man powerful.

Kevin Anthony 15:28
So in other words if a woman let’s say it’s my partner comes to me and wants me to do something, if she gets in my face in a masculine way and tries to like boss me around and tell me what to do, all it does is create conflict, right? Because now my masculine is being challenged in a competitive way and my master is going to be like, Well, fuck that I’m you’re not going to beat me. Right? And this is the story of like, 99% of the relationships we coach, right?

Kevin Anthony 15:56
This is what happens and I don’t find that being very powerful because it doesn’t most of the time get you what you want. So if we’re looking at end results, it may appear more powerful. It may seem like Yes, I’m super-empowered, because I’m standing up for what I want, and I’m going to get it, you know? But what’s the end result? The end result is you get pissed off, he gets pissed off, nobody gets what they want.

Kevin Anthony 16:21
And was that really a powerful move? true power. And this is I don’t know, if you ever read the book power vs force, right? what I just described was really force. true power is finding ways to get what it is you want or need, that are effective and that actually work. And so for me, I find it far more powerful for a woman to embody her femininity, and to use that femininity to get what she wants. I don’t mean like, you know, manipulation, put on a low cut dress and have some boobs hanging out and show a little lag and flirt and pretend that you’re going to give me sex and you’re not really going to give me sex.

Kevin Anthony 16:59
Like that’s not what I’m talking But what I’m talking about is using the feminine qualities rather of coming and getting in my face and trying to fight with me because I’m going to fight back. That’s what I do. I’m a dude, right? That rather than do that, coming to me and using the sort of the softer techniques of being a woman, and convincing me this is the beauty of being a woman, you actually convince us as men that we want to do what you want us to do, even if we didn’t necessarily really want to. That’s the beauty of it. And to me, that’s a far more powerful than trying to force anything.

Céline Remy 17:38
I love this. I love this. And I think you brought up a lot of different nuances. So I want to go back into the acknowledgment of the how the feminine has been heard by the masculine, but we have to understand that men have been hurt by this system too. And as women if we swing to the other end of the pendulum and become overpowering with our feminine we can hurt men too. And this weekend, I was just at an event and this came up in the circle, a man spoke about how he had been traumatized by the feminine too and castrate it.

Céline Remy 18:16
This is really that stage two, and to him, he was able to heal through that circle that was happening that relates to the feminine. But because he was a younger man and had grown up maybe with this energy with his mom, that’s that that was profoundly damaging to him as well. A lot of women afterward, were talking that never like, I never thought that we heard men too. I was like, yes, it works both ways. So oftentimes when you are in that stage number two in that strong, feminine, it has different levels of it and I go in-depth into that in my irresistible woman core.

Céline Remy 18:55
So we don’t have time to fully do that today. But there are different levels. They are obvious and not so obvious of ways that we can castrate we can rob energy we can decent power,

Kevin Anthony 19:06
I think. And this is not meant to be a plug for your program, per se but because I helped with some of the material of that program from the male point of view sheets, you know, something had to solve the female stuff. But, but to me personally, having been involved in that program and seeing what you do, I think that is probably one of the most empowering pieces of the entire thing is teaching women what it is they do that emasculates the men because that piece causes so much disconnect so much disagreement so much conflict in relationships.

Kevin Anthony 19:47
And, you know, this doesn’t mean that it’s all the woman’s fault, by the way, because there’s plenty of stuff that the men do and that’s a whole nother topic. We will do a show on how to be more masculine, which we’ll talk about those things but The thing that you have to realize is this, the influence and play off each other. Right? So when a woman does something that castrates a man that causes him to do a certain behavior, that’s generally not a healthy masculine behavior, let’s just put it that way without going too deep into it.

Kevin Anthony 20:17
And it’s the same thing with the men when the man does something that’s not a good masculine behavior, then that can trigger a woman to do feminine behaviors that are not so healthy. And so you know, nothing is in isolation, they work together.

Céline Remy 20:31
So let’s talk about the first stage because now that we understand that and I’m like, Okay, we got it. And we want to get out of this right? I mean, if you’re feeling tense, you like you. Okay? This is awful. I want to know, let me tell you about stage three.

Kevin Anthony 20:44
And if you’re thinking No, this is exactly where I want to be. Just hear us out because you might actually want to move past that.

Céline Remy 20:51
And we’re going to give you somehow to use. The first stage is the one that I called the awakened feminine and this is A beautiful state because the space that you are in as a woman is, I don’t need a map. But I choose to have a map. This is a huge, huge piece because on the outside it will look similar to the stage one is you want bad in how you interact within yourself and around and on the outside with a man and a woman, all the people in your life. It is very different.

Céline Remy 21:32
You come from a place of CO creation. You come from your best self and invite the masculine to show up in his best self to and this is what we call the next-level relationship. This is what we experienced. We’re not stuck in the dynamic like our grandparents. Hey, my grandparents have been together 65 For years 64 Yeah, they just told me over 60 years, and they love each other. And that’s really awesome. And I also see some of the ways where it’s different times, like how they’ve been stuck in some things.

Céline Remy 22:16
And what I love is that I feel that Kevin and I have that same depth of love that same solid foundation. But we have that little something more that I’ve seen missing and my grandparents where we are both fully expressed. And I didn’t see my grandmother being as expressed as I am. And yes, she has that love and that connection, but I am fully expressed, but I also have a supportive husband in my life, somebody that I can count on and we created this beautiful dance of the feminine and masculine.

Kevin Anthony 22:53
Yeah. Beautiful. So so if you had to sum up the awakened feminine, I think you might have to say something along the lines of a woman who embodies her femininity and yet isn’t dependence. Isn’t that weak little whiny? Like, I can’t do it on my own? See, I think when you when you reach the awakened feminine stage, you go, yeah, I can do it on my own. In fact, I have done it on my own. And life is easier if I utilize both of our talents, right. So it’s like, yeah, you could go out and trim the boogie is this past weekend, like, I know that you’re fully capable of doing that.

Kevin Anthony 23:34
But do you want to do that? Do you want? Do you want to be on a tall ladder with a power tool like getting cut up by swords and stuff? Like I was? No, you don’t want you could and you know, you could. But instead, you’d rather be like, No, you know what? I’m gonna leave that to you the masculine you’d like to get in there and duke it out with the thorn bushes.

Céline Remy 23:56
Absolutely. I think it’s really important to know these distinctions and be able to, to really receive, because this is part of the dance is when I do that, and I step back and give given the opportunity to do that and show up for me, I get to receive his gift of contribution. To him, he feels seen and validated in his expression of strength and his masculinity. And what that creates is a polarity and what that creates is an awesome sex life.

Céline Remy 24:30
And every time you are battling, and you are stuck in that stage two and you and you know it’s not linear, because you’ve been able to reach stage three doesn’t mean you won’t fall back into one or two. It just sometimes it’s like there’s areas where you’re able to step into this and there are areas where you like when you’re pretty stuck into a stage. And so when you are able to play with that, too. inspire one another the result is so different.

Kevin Anthony 25:05
I’m so glad you’re talking about results like this. The next thing on the list was, what are the benefits? So here we are, we’re talking about all these stages and all this stuff. And it’s like, you know, why? why might you want to embody your feminine more, and you actually covered some of them already. Number one on the list was things become easier, you’re more in tune with your essence. And so that’s kind of what you were just describing.

Céline Remy 25:30
And one thing that we don’t always realize is just because we can and we can step into our masculine we can get it done as all of that. Notice. How do you feel at the end of the day, as you like, snappy, are tired, overworked and exhausted. That’s probably because you spend too much time not in your essence. For most women, your feminine, your feminine energy is your essence.

Céline Remy 25:53
And you might be one of the right of women where it’s shifted, but like literally 90% of the population that How does and so it’s a big segment of the population here. Okay? And so that’s how you know. So once you’re able to step into this, this, this place of ease, and is a day with being still happy and having energy is pretty good. I say yes to that.

Kevin Anthony 26:16
Yeah. And you know what I would add to that one is a lot of the women that come to you, this is what they say, I have a masculine job. I’m a CEO, I’m a engineer of this event. And all day long, I spend time in my masculine. And then they say, and then when I go home with my partner, I’m still stuck in my masculine. So one of the things they often come looking to you for is learning how to switch. Right?

Kevin Anthony 26:43
And so we don’t mean to say in any of this, that you can embody your masculine at times. Yeah, sometimes you have to do that. And that’s great. But I think the real mastery skill for a woman is learning how to switch back and forth how when you need to get some Done. There’s nobody else here to help you you step in you do it and then when you have the ability to let go and sink into your feminine that you can make that switch

Céline Remy 27:11
number two, well guess what? If you’re single and you’re learning to be more feminine, you will attract the more masculine men and once again remember what I said about the amazing sex life? Yes, you have a passion that lasts past the honeymoon phase.

Kevin Anthony 27:26
Let me tell you all about something else we see a lot with couples we work with. We call it reverse polarity. That’s where the man in the relationship tends to be the softer more feminine one and the woman tends to be the harder more masculine get shit done, dictate how the relationship is going to go kind of person. We see this all the time and you know what? Most of them aren’t even aware they’re in reverse polarity. They have no idea. The second they walk in the room we look at each other like reverse polarity.

Kevin Anthony 28:02
Again, and they don’t even really realize it. And so the thing that a lot of women don’t realize is if they’re stuck in masculine mode all the time, most likely what they’re going to attract is a man who’s okay sitting back in his feminine because that creates the polarity, right? And polarity is that sort of Jack’s juxtaposition of opposites, right? So it’s taking two opposite poles on a magnet and they stick together, you try to put two of the same poles together, they repel each other, right?

Kevin Anthony 28:29
So two very masculine people will most likely repel each other, whereas one that’s more feminine one that’s more masculine. We do a whole talk on polarity. That’s not really the goal here. But the point is, is that if you understand that basic concept, you’ll realize that as a woman, if you sink more into your feminine, you’re most likely going to attract a man who’s more masculine.

Céline Remy 28:49
Number three, well, that’s kind of we covered it here. It creates more polarity in the relationship and so many, so many ways. It’s not just sex. There’s also There’s something deeper the men that one is like, I’ve got you. You know, and maybe you haven’t seen like, it’d be interesting if you could give and maybe share briefly, with our listeners, for you the difference when you’ve been in relationships with more feminine women versus more masculine, how that impacted your relationship and your experience of it.

Kevin Anthony 29:24
Okay, well, as we’re already getting late into the show, I could do a whole 30-minute episode just on this. But if I, if I could sum it up really, really quickly. Here’s what I found. And I actually did some sort of research experiments with past partners on this, but here’s what I found. I’ve had a couple of relationships with women who are definitely much more in their masculine.

And actually, there was something that I was actually attracted to about that because maybe I don’t like it. But you know, I’m kind of a masking guy like I like to shoot guns rock climb downhill mountain biker multi-discipline. martial artists like I like that kind of stuff, you know, trucks for by foot, whatever.

Kevin Anthony 30:03
Like, I like that kind of stuff. So there’s something attractive about a woman who least somewhat likes some of that stuff. But what I realized was, is that they were always competing with me. And it was exhausting. It’s literally exhausting. Because what would happen is, the higher their masculine energy ramped up, the higher I had to make mine, because without it, there wouldn’t be the polarity and then we just start fighting or we wouldn’t get along, we’d irritate each other. And the sexual chemistry wouldn’t really be there.

Kevin Anthony 30:37
Make us make a really long story short, I actually did this experiment with a partner without telling her I realized what was happening with our polarity. And I was like, Ooh, okay, so here’s what I need to do. Every time we make love and it doesn’t work and it’s just like, like all left feet, as they say, you know, and dancing. I’m going to just no matter how tired I am, I’m going to get me to fully embody my masculine and get raw like really into it and see what happens every time it totally shifted what was happening at that moment.

Kevin Anthony 31:05
So what I realized was when I’m in a relationship with a woman who’s more masculine, I just have to out masculine her. And then I’ll all work again or the other choice is to go way in the other direction and get really into your feminine, but you got to create that polarity. For me, while I’m in touch with my feminine side, and I can be soft and caring, it’s not normal for me to be like the super-soft a guy that’s just not really who I am. So that wasn’t really an option for me. So then I had to like amp it up and get super masculine. And it was fucking exhausting.

Céline Remy 31:36
Yeah, thank you for sharing that that I think described it very well. Let’s give you one more benefit here before we tell you about your steps to becoming more feminine. One of the benefits is that you become more attractive to people and things like life, things are just drawn to you. This is literally like you become a magnet. I see that for me happening a lot where it’s like you go Someone people want to talk to you are like things come to you are being gifted to you.

Céline Remy 32:04
And it’s like, oh my gosh, the more I radiate that I am my feminine energy, the more I get, and there’s no manipulation, there’s no forcing, there’s no making it happen. It’s it has all to do with my inner state. And the more I’m able to tune into that, the better it is. And I mean, honestly, who doesn’t want to feel more attractive, right? I’m like, Yeah, I get it. So that’s a really beautiful place to be because you get to love yourself more.

Céline Remy 32:30
You get to feel better about yourself in your body. And in turn, you are more attractive to others, but you also attract things in your life and people’s higher vibration. It’s the whole upgrade of your life. So I say yes.

Kevin Anthony 32:47
Absolutely. There’s a reason why throughout our society, there’s all these images of beautiful feminine women. It’s attractive to

Céline Remy 32:57
people. It’s inspiring to inspire

Kevin Anthony 32:59
Living some of the world’s most amazing art, whether it’s sculpture, paintings, music at all centers around beautiful, feminine women. You know, the idea of what was considered beautiful and feminine has changed throughout the centuries. But still, that’s the basic idea behind most of it. It’s what inspires us

Céline Remy 33:23
as somewhat to give you some of the steps here. But before I give you the steps, I want to make sure that you always connect with yourself and listen to yourself. There are so many flavors of the feminine there are so many ways to tap into this. I’ve broken it down into five different archetypes and different ways of tuning into that feminine energy.

Céline Remy 33:50
So I’m going to say I crossed yourself, look around and find models and find things just because you like one thing See, I’m the adventure to buy I like high heels. And I like lipstick. And I can do I can like both rights so it’s not just because I can go do the adventure thing and be like and on the field and do these crazy things with Kevin I can also wear a gorgeous dress or like look super pretty and enjoy both just as much.

Céline Remy 34:17
And to me they are all the same expression of my feminine. Ok. So number one, accept yourself for who you are. You are women. Love yourself. Love it. This I mean I think if there’s only one thing that you’re going to take from this, that’s that and it shows up in many ways, loving the fact that you bleeding, loving you body parts, loving your sensitivity, you vulnerability because these are actually your strength and just loving yourself as you are.

Kevin Anthony 34:52
Yeah, I mean, it sounds so simple and yet in our society, This is so huge how many women are running around like a man then this would be Different or Why do I have to bleed? or Why do I have to, you know, like,

Céline Remy 35:05
breasts or the way or I can’t do this? I’m like, come on.

Kevin Anthony 35:09
Yeah, I mean, I think if women really just accepted themselves and said, yeah, here I am. I’m a woman and that’s like, okay, let’s work with this because there’s a lot that can be done here.

Céline Remy 35:23
Number to focus on self-care and activities that will boost your oxytocin. The oxytocin level is very important. oxytocin is like the love hormone, the bonding hormone and that’s been a lot of research done on that. When you have high levels of oxytocin, you have a better ability to orgasm. There is a direct correlation between your level of oxytocin and your ability to achieve strong orgasms. So if you feel always depleted if you feel tired, if making love is so hard if having orgasms is difficult or elusive like last probably because you are low on this oxytocin.

Céline Remy 35:58
How do you build that oxytocin? It is by taking care of yourself things like taking bath watching sunset watching a romantic movie, reading a book girl to girl time talking to a women being in nature barefoot. I mean, I just gave you like a different things. There are so many more. What are the things that work for you? Remember the things that you do and forget that there’s a clock-like time stop. You can be immersed in it, and you feel uplifted after you’ve done it, that’s a related type of activity.

Céline Remy 36:29
So prioritize that, which is really important. And the third one then is to set boundaries and setting boundaries to come in very handy because it’s also bad saying, Hey, I don’t have the bandwidth for that, or I need some help. Or I need my me time and it could be like, hey, asking your husband to take care of the kids like I’m working with a couple right now. And he’s agreed to give her when he gets home. Like a half-hour every day where she can do what she wants.

Céline Remy 36:56
She goes upstairs in the bedroom closes the door and they have three kids and he takes scares of the kids. And she can either do a bubble bath or read a book or just do her yoga. She loves to do yoga. And they realized that when she does that, then she has more energy for him and guess what? Suddenly she is more willing to have sex with him too

Kevin Anthony 37:15
Shocking.

Céline Remy 37:18
Number four, listen to your intuition. Very important and I think as women we have a connection to the whatever you call it divine or spirit or just other rounds and our intuition that that higher self and listen to it because it knows number five, give yourself permission to express yourself recreation and creative energy is feminine energy creation is not just making babies.

Céline Remy 37:47
Yes, we can create and make physical babies but you can create so many things. You can make a cake. You can birth a book, a project, you can birth a child, like what ways do you create Yeah, this is That again go back to that. And then a number six being in touch with your femininity for your breasts. And I really want to say as I say like your breasts are your gateways to your femininity, and they are the place that is that’s where your heart is.

Céline Remy 38:18
They help you to love yourself more. You can use your breasts to open up and receive more. There are so many things like our breasts are underused or overused because they’re being used by others and for others, learning to connect with your breasts in a way to nurture and nourish yourself. If you don’t know that yet how to do it, I can help you I have created the online breast massage course that will teach you all the steps, different massage strokes, and all the things related to how to care for your breasts, and also your body and you can find all of that on my site at selling remy.com go to courses and we’ll be right there. I’d love to extend this invitation to you You to really

Céline Remy 39:02
learn that, really learn it because it will change your life as a woman. And then number seven, study get in touch with your pussy. You can study with people who inspire you around sexuality and hopefully help you connect with that part of your body. Because again, this is also a gateway here that is so underused.

Kevin Anthony 39:21
It really is. You know what’s interesting to me about that one, and I don’t know if it’s made me sick is just me, I have no idea if it’s because I’m a guy, but like, you know, you’ve done this workshop many times. And one of the things that you do in the workshop is you have women look at their posts in the mirror.

Kevin Anthony 39:39
And there are lots of people who’ve done that as part of their workshops. It’s not necessarily revolutionary or groundbreaking, but it is actually for the women who do it. And that’s the thing that amazes me every time is how many people even in practically 2020 We’re almost at you know so many women still How does that work again? What does this bit over here? I am like… really, it’s your body you don’t know this.

Kevin Anthony 40:08
I am like trust me, I know exactly every inch of my penis. I know exactly what it looks like. So yeah, I mean this, the idea is that I think a lot of women don’t really do that. And if they did, they would definitely be more in touch with their femininity,

Céline Remy 40:25
yeah, and then getting to know how it works, what you like, what you don’t like, and then you can guide your partners to like touch you in different ways in ways that are more pleasuring and help you with that. And so these are like some of the steps to becoming more feminine and I’m sure we can add some more but just start to take one at a time and start to see how different you feel. And it’s really quick once you start to really reconnect with yourself and activate that feminine energy changes happen like massively and super quickly.

Céline Remy 40:56
And you’re like, Wow, I can’t believe I waited so long or like this is what it looks like. So I want to invite you to really give yourself permission to be fully into your feminine energy, find your own flavor. And I want to invite all of our male listeners to support their women on their quests here and be like, hey, how can I help you be more in touch? What can I do to reduce you need some time by yourself? Or is there something or that I can help you with, and then do that together, that will help you feel more masculine, and it will help her to be more in touch with her feminine?

Kevin Anthony 41:30
Yeah, I think maybe just the very last piece that I would share or as a disclaimer that we maybe we should have said at the beginning of the show. We’re talking about masculine and feminine and we do totally understand that, you know, it’s not necessarily tied to physical gender. So there’s a lot that we said in this show that even if you don’t have the physical bits of a man or a woman that you can still take because you know, if you’re a man and you and you embody your feminine, more, and You want to be in your feminine, more, you can still use this advice.

Kevin Anthony 42:03
Same with a woman if you’re a woman and you want to be in your masculine more than do the opposite of this advice. So there’s still value in here for everybody, no matter where you fall on the spectrum. Obviously, we tend to talk mostly about heterosexual because that’s what we are. And that’s, you know, our expertise, but it applies to just about everybody. All right, anything else.

Céline Remy 42:26
That’s it for today. I hope you enjoyed this show as much as we did. And we will be seeing you next week.

Kevin Anthony 42:38
We hope you liked this episode of the love lab podcast. If you enjoyed this show, leave a comment and share it with your friends.

Céline Remy 42:45
And if you want more, we have an entire digital library with the best sex tips and Relationship Advice at Céline Remy.com. That’s kevinanthonycoaching.com So join us in the second vault to continue this adventure.

Kevin Anthony 43:02
Thanks for listening

Céline Remy 43:04
and remember, you’re amazing.