How Hormones May Be Wrecking Your Sex Life

Kevin Anthony 0:11
Welcome to the Love Lab podcast, a safe place to get honest about sex. Whether you’re a man, woman, single, or couple, this is the show for you.

Céline Remy 0:20
We are your hosts, Kevin Anthony and Celine Remy, and we are here to guide you to go from good to amazing in the bedroom and beyond.

Kevin Anthony 0:27
Alright, welcome back to the Love Lab podcast. This is episode 172. And it’s titled how hormones may be wrecking your sex life. Part Two. Not really a part two, if you listen to last week’s episode, we did talk about hormones.

Kevin Anthony 0:45
We talked a little bit more from the MD perspective and how he diagnosis and prescribes this week we’re going to talk a little bit differently because we have another guest who has some fantastic experience. We’ll read his bio in a minute, he co-wrote a book on bioidentical hormones, he has personal experience using them.

Kevin Anthony 1:06
So now you’re going to get like, what does it really like? What how do how does it really affect your life, like from somebody who’s really gone through it before, so I think this is gonna be really really valuable information. And I’m sure he’s got some amazing nuggets to share. So hang in there, because we’re gonna dive in real soon.

Céline Remy 1:27
Before we introduce today’s guest, let’s give a big shout-out to our sponsor’s power and mastery. So if you want to join the secret club of men who are great in bed, then check out power and mastery at power and mastery.com. It is the most complete sexual mastery training for men.

Céline Remy 1:44
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Céline Remy 1:53
Our guest today is Dr. Robert Fleisher. He holds a BA in psychology and DMD with a specialty in under Don tech and continues to lecture at Albert Einstein Medical Center in Philadelphia. He has penned several nonfiction books on aging and relationships, including the sexless marriage fix, and dating, again, A Guide to Dating Just when you fall to your word done. So welcome, Robert to the love law podcast.

Robert Fleisher 2:21
Great to be here. Nice seeing you, folks.

Kevin Anthony 2:24
Alright, so we’re gonna dive right in here. And one of the things that I want to do is help the listeners get a feel for your knowledge level on this subject. So the first question is that drum roll. As we heard in your bio, you’re not an MD, but you are a dentist, and you also co-wrote a book on hormones.

Kevin Anthony 2:48
So what we were kind of getting at was like, given the field of medicine, because it is a field of medicine that you were practicing, given that field, how did you end up coming into the realm of hormones and CO writing a book on it?

Robert Fleisher 3:04
Great question. I have a lot of experience with it personally. First of all, it’s important to understand you’ve all probably heard of Masters and Johnson, Bill Masters, Virginia Johnson, Virginia Johnson, who wrote some of the most profound sex information available, I had no college education when she started, and she never actually finished up with any kind of medical degree or anything like that.

Robert Fleisher 3:29
So you don’t have to be an MD to understand these things. Number one, number two, I, I’ve experienced, I’m going through a lot of interesting experiences with a difficult marriage that ended in divorce. I saw a lot of the flaws that came through that caused our marriage to dissolve. And I talked about them in the sexless marriage fix. And there are six reasons that marriages fail.

Robert Fleisher 3:54
And one of the big ones that we’re going to talk about a lot today is hormones. But there are other issues, there are personal issues, there are psychological issues, physical issues, behavioral issues, which are huge. I mean, that’s one of the reasons a lot of people fail. And then there are hormonal issues.

Robert Fleisher 4:11
And as Dr. Roberta Morgan who co-wrote the book, always says, get a blood test before you go for marriage counseling. Because if in fact, you don’t have hormones working for you, which control your libido, it’s you could go to all the marriage counseling all the talk therapists, you could do whatever you’re going to do, it’s not going to work.

Robert Fleisher 4:30
And just like young people want to have sex, anytime with anything. It’s because their hormones are flowing in abundance. So that’s where the hormone level comes in to keep people together. So when people have failed relationships, whether it’s marriage or relationship, that’s not marriage, you have to be able to make sure your hormones are working.

Robert Fleisher 4:50
So that’s why we had recommended having blood tests. Interestingly, I met Dr. Morgan on a dating service because I had just recently been In divorce, and I was looking for companionship, that’s why dating again came to help us You never know when you’re going to be dating again, whether it’s through the death of a partner, divorce or whatever the cause may be.

Robert Fleisher 5:14
So I really, really came close to this subject. Personally, I saw a lot of things. Now interestingly, when I contacted Dr. Morgan, I wasn’t interested in dating. I actually just loved her bio, and I wanted to talk to her because she wrote about everything that interests me. She wrote about bioidentical hormones. She wrote about relationships and all these things.

Robert Fleisher 5:35
When we got together, it was initially to be a platonic relationship, which eventually we dated on a more serious level, which we, in fact, ended because neither of us know what we’re doing. No, I’m just kidding. I don’t want everybody to turn off the blog. Oh, my God. Yeah, he has a lot of experience. He screwed up multiple relationships. But it turns out that she gave me such incredible insights.

Robert Fleisher 6:01
One of which was, she turned me on to testosterone, which is the bioidentical hormone that men can take. And I dabbled because I read about aging, I dabbled with all sorts of things, I would go online and see these over-the-counter things. This will increase your human growth hormone, this will make your testosterone double and triple. And honestly, I don’t think any of those work, at least for me, they didn’t.

Robert Fleisher 6:25
If it works for you, great. Could it be a placebo effect, maybe it does work, but most of them don’t really work. The real deal is testosterone injections, and that’s what she turned me on to. And all of a sudden, I went from not having the libido that I really had before to having a libido that was awesome.

Robert Fleisher 6:45
And when basically guys, if their libido is low, all of a sudden, they’re gonna go, Oh, my God, I have morning and nighttime erections. Now you may not have anybody to do anything with it, but at least you’ve got it. It’s pretty exciting to see that, that rise. So that was important to me to experience that. I also have, I’ve seen a lot of people, as you get up in age, you too, are young.

Robert Fleisher 7:09
So you don’t know this yet. But a lot of women start losing their hair, dramatically. Not everybody, but a lot of women, literally you look at them either, oh my god, they’re going to be bald soon because their hormone levels are down. And there could be other issues that cause hair loss. I’m not saying that’s the only thing. But you can definitely see a change in the hair.

Robert Fleisher 7:28
I started dating somebody, other than Dr. Morgan. After we had broken up, I met a lovely lady. And she had the thickest hair I had ever seen. It was amazing. Like you, Celine, you have beautiful hair. So, and you do too. I don’t want to leave any.

Robert Fleisher 7:49
But you know, guys are guys dealing with male pattern baldness. So we’re you know, we got to deal with it to see women in their 50s losing their hair, some more than others, some never. But the fact is, maybe they should get a blood test and find out if their hormone levels are down. So I saw with the girl that I was dating that had amazing hair.

Robert Fleisher 8:09
She also told me she was on hormones, which I thought was interesting. When I did a little inspection, I found out she was on basically birth control pills. This is the hormone level that a lot of doctors give people because they don’t know what they’re doing. And I hate to say that and the first thing, they’ll say, Oh, you’re hearing that from a dentist. Okay.

Robert Fleisher 8:28
But the fact is, there’s a lot of studies out there, you don’t have to be a dentist to know that there’s something really wrong with taking birth control pills, period, let alone as hormone replacement for menopause. So I told her, I said, pull your doctor up and find out what blood tests she’s done for you. And she got back to me. And she said, Well, he doesn’t do any blood test.

Robert Fleisher 8:49
So you’re taking powerful hormones, no one’s checking to see if your estrogen level is where it should be. No one’s checking to see if your progesterone and testosterone levels are where they should be. So basically, that, in my opinion, that’s malpractice. And I bet a lot of your listeners are in that same boat. So one of the big, I’m talking a lot. So if you want to jump,

Kevin Anthony 9:11
that’s a good place to take a break because you said a lot of things in there. And I want to come back to a few of them. And for sure a few of them are our follow-up questions that we already have on our list. But the first point that I want to jump in and make is that you know, you’re talking about Okay, so you wrote a book on the marriage fix, and there’s a bunch of different things that potentially impact relationships.

Kevin Anthony 9:34
The point that I kind of wanted to reiterate that you brought up was that even if you’re doing everything right, as far as your relationship goes, there’s a possibility that if your hormones are out of whack, technical terms, that those things aren’t going to work. In other words, there are potentially hormone issues that are driving What’s happening in your relationships.

Kevin Anthony 10:02
And so if you ever want to really fix the problems in your relationship, you got to start with the underlying hormone imbalance first, and then do all those other things on top. And so I just wanted to kind of reiterate that for the audience. Because, you know, what’s what Celine and I do when we work with people’s, we work with all those other things, right with couples and how to get their sex life going again.

Kevin Anthony 10:25
But we could potentially be just running into a brick wall over and over again if somebody’s hormones are so out of balance, that they’re never going to be able to really achieve what we’re trying to achieve with him.

Robert Fleisher 10:37
What you just said is so absolutely important, because a lot of talk therapists, psychologists, marriage counselors, they don’t address it at all you guys are interested in, that’s why we’re talking and you hit it on the head, you can have a couple, you’re trying to get them better. But if one of them has no libido, when the other does, you’re going to have trouble getting them together.

Robert Fleisher 10:59
And by the way, I get your emails that are amazing. I mean, not only want to join the club and all that stuff but how to be a better lover. But if it seems to be directed to guys, probably because I’m getting the guy stuff, I don’t know. But it basically, you can turn a guy into an amazing Romeo, great lover, but if in fact, his partner is not it feeling it does not have a libido.

Robert Fleisher 11:24
Yeah, he’s gonna be a great lover with somebody else, and you’re gonna break up the marriage. So you don’t want that to happen. So no, that’s beautiful that you’re addressing this. And obviously, you’re not going to do the blood test for them. But you recommend, say, hey, let’s check out your hormones. And then let’s work on behavioral issues that we’ve talked about, let’s work on physical issues, and so forth.

Robert Fleisher 11:46
Because there are ways to get a guy to have an erection, even if he’s had prostate surgery, or even if he’s a paraplegic, there are ways to do this. But he has to want to. And we talked about this before I talked about it as my the catch 23. The catch 22 Is everybody kind of heard of that or saw the movie, it’s where there’s a problem. And there’s no solution. So you just can’t fix my term of catch 23 is that there is a problem.

Robert Fleisher 12:18
There is an absolute solution, but you don’t care. You have no desire to fix it. And that’s what happens a lot of times with relationships that fail, there are people No, by the way, if both people lose their libido, at the same level at the same time, there is no problem because neither one wants sex. They don’t care.

Robert Fleisher 12:38
That’s the catch 23 Yeah, there are solutions, they’re never going to come to you, by the way, those people aren’t coming to you and telling you Look my relationships terrible. I don’t have enough sex and on better sex. But it’s the people where they’re one has the libido, one doesn’t, they’re going to come to you. And you could do all the work in the world with the one with the libido.

Robert Fleisher 12:57
And you could try to do work with the one that doesn’t have libido, but it’s futile. It’s true I mean, they, yeah, you know, when psychologically they can go, okay, look, I know, my mate wants to do this. So I’m going to do it unless it’s the guy because the guy can’t perform unless he has popsicle sticks and duct tape. Basically, if he can’t get it up, he’s not going to be able to perform.

Robert Fleisher 13:17
And that’s not even true, because there are ways you can get it up. But the thing I’m saying is that they both have to be in alignment. And if they both don’t care, they’re not coming to you. They’re not going to marriage counselors, they actually may still because remember, there are other things that the person is picking on the other partner if they’re nagging if they’re ignoring their partners.

Robert Fleisher 13:38
All those things that I call behavioral issues, even if they have poor grooming or a couple with one that says poor grooming, they may not even want to hang out with the other one. So forget about sex. So there’s a lot of things that have to be fixed. You have to address them all.

Robert Fleisher 13:52
Or individually when you talk to people find out what their biggest problems are, and then work on them. But it all boils down to if it has to do with sex, and there are no hormones. There’s no libido and it’s not going to happen.

Kevin Anthony 14:05
Yeah, so let’s maybe take a few steps back. You also talked about your own personal experience, how you were doing research and trying different things. And some of them didn’t work, and some of them did.

Kevin Anthony 14:17
And then when you got together with the doctor who you co-wrote the book, she introduced you I want to know a little bit more about your journey, trying these different things, what worked, what didn’t work, how you ended up sort of where you are now that the journey of bioidentical hormones that you yourself have been through?

Robert Fleisher 14:38
Well, as I said, Dr. Morgan turned me on to it. She, she was able to prescribe it. That’s what she does. And I started doing injections of something called testosterone Cyprian eight, which by the way, testosterone is not as big of an issue with bioidentical, not bioidentical. That’s the one. That’s the pure stuff. That’s what makes you have a libido again.

Robert Fleisher 15:00
So when I started, it’s not that I had no libido when I first started doing it, but I just didn’t care as much I could see I was fading I was the fading warrior. I was also at that time about 57 or 59. I think something like that. Last week was a joke. So so it really, it was just such an amazing boost. Now prior to that, because before I even met her, I read about things.

Robert Fleisher 15:24
And as I said, I would take supplements, and I almost feel like how gullible Could you be I took a supplement to increase my, the testosterone and human growth hormone, Human Growth Hormone by the way you can get to but it’s very controlled because people were abusing it. But I remember I took one, it tasted so bad, I thought I would throw up every time I took it.

Robert Fleisher 15:45
But I figured but if I can stay on, somewhat off the ground, I’m a dentist, I could figure out how to get my breath smelling better than this horrible tasting liquid. But when I read it, it said, when you take this in three weeks, your hair is going to go from gray to black. Honestly, I don’t know why I fell for that. But, and my hair wasn’t going great. But I just it just sounded so enticing all these ads sound enticing.

Robert Fleisher 16:07
So I tried that didn’t work, didn’t do anything, and tried the testosterone boosters didn’t work. But the testosterone was a different world. Like I say it brought back my libido. So whereas I can see that I’m probably would have been a fading lawyer, and at this stage of my life probably have no interest and no ability, ability to even have sex. She kept that from failing.

Robert Fleisher 16:31
And that was important. And one of the reasons and we’ve talked about this, is two of the behavioral problems that are terrible for relationships. One is withholding sex. And I call it a syndrome, withholding sex syndrome. Because basically, it has a multitude of symptoms. It’s not just your withholding sex, when you withhold sex, you’re causing your partner to have anxiety, anger, frustration, the blood pressure can go up, wind up having a stroke and a heart attack.

Robert Fleisher 17:00
So as I say, you can kill your partner by just withholding sex, and then you can get all the money from the insurance. And I know I better not read anything fishy about you, too. You too love bugs. And the other syndrome, which works the same way is the neglect of the partner syndrome, the neglect of your partner does the same stuff, anxiety, anger, frustration, stress, high blood pressure, stroke, death. So those two things are terrible.

Robert Fleisher 17:33
Well, I was in a relationship where that was happening a lot. And it turns out, we were both doing wrong things. I was ignoring my spouse because I was so busy with work. And I talked about in my book, the busyness factor, you got to figure out a way to be with each other if you’re going to, you know, everybody wants to make a good living.

Robert Fleisher 17:50
And I was doing great. But I was not there. I thought I was there because I thought it was enough just to be around and have sex. And that wasn’t enough, because then I found out he was being withheld. And then what happens when you withhold sex enough from a guy, he could either run looking elsewhere, he could become a porn addict.

Robert Fleisher 18:10
Or he could actually develop impotence, he could actually lose his ability to have sex. Because if you keep keeping a person, if you keep letting them get close, and then take it away, eventually psychologically, that just doesn’t happen anymore. You start, don’t want to be disappointed again.

Robert Fleisher 18:27
So I was experiencing all these things. And I’m sure my ex was experiencing these things too. And things just didn’t work out. So that was where the testosterone came in. And I learned a lot of things too. I learned when I’m with the person, I have to be there. 100% Which is why I only see my girlfriend for two hours a day. No, I’m kidding.

Robert Fleisher 18:48
A week. The but and then that’s actually an interesting thing. When you’re with people all the time. You need to have something more than sex, you have to have common interests. You have to have love. You can’t get bored, you have to do things that make everything work well.

Robert Fleisher 19:06
So basically, my journey was going through some erectile dysfunction, having to reignite my libido, and then feeling very comfortable and being back in the game and not losing it. Many years later, as many people do. I think I had mentioned to you I had spoken with a billionaire. He was 95 years old. He was known for being quite active sexually all his life.

Robert Fleisher 19:32
And I was chatting with him and he said, it’s I’m done. I’m done. Mean sexually. And I said I think you’re back in the saddle. I don’t know why I was saying that it was that I haven’t come in and have a steep examination. Now I’m getting I so I can get you back in the saddle. And what I was going to do is send them over to Dr. Morgan. And he goes no, I’m not interested.

Robert Fleisher 19:56
That’s again the catch 22 There was a remedy he didn’t Yeah. So when the libido is gone, it’s sometimes hard to get back in the game. And I didn’t want to be like that I didn’t want to wind up, you know, 95 years old and have no interest. Not that you can survive. You can you’ve got other interests. You know, you, you played bingo. I mean, there are other things that bring excitement into your life. But I think that I think that sex is important enough that you want to try to keep that in your life, too.

Kevin Anthony 20:24
I don’t know, I don’t anticipate a day ever coming where I go, whenever I’m done.

Kevin Anthony 20:31
Or forget it, honey, it’s Bingo Night.

Robert Fleisher 20:39
But see, I love this conversation that we’re having. Because you too are the epitome of good levels of hormones, I wouldn’t even have to do a blood test on you, you. And most people young, have a sex drive, not everybody, those are the ones that come to you where one doesn’t, and then you want to get them to get an examination and get a blood test.

Robert Fleisher 21:00
But most people at your age, just when you said you can’t imagine not being with her, look at her. She’s gorgeous. Why would you want to be with her? But again, you have to be a good soul, you have to be able to have not let boredom get to you not let your ego get to you. Because there are people that run around, they have a good sex drive, and they have a good sex life at home, but they’re never happy.

Robert Fleisher 21:23
So they’re always running around. So there’s a lot of things that have to be addressed when people come to you, with issues like that. Getting back just one second to my girlfriend that had had great hair, and she was on hormones, but she was on dangerous hormones, which we got her off. And I got her over to Dr. Morgan, who still was talking to me, which is nice to be able to break up with people and still have them like you.

Robert Fleisher 21:46
And she wound up getting her own hormones. And she was doing great. full head of hair never faltered. Always strong sex drive. Or I mean, again, we’re not talking about somebody that’s 30 or 40. I mean, we’re talking about somebody that was much older, and she was a great mate. Sadly, right now she is in the memory unit of an assisted living home because she developed Alzheimer’s.

Robert Fleisher 22:16
And that can happen to anybody. But there are a lot of causes that we don’t even know the cause. But there are a lot of things that can contribute to it. But I know for sure that at least within her case, it was nothing to do with hormones because she was kept at a perfect level for all that many years.

Céline Remy 22:32
So I was curious about how fast did you see a difference? Because I’m thinking about the male listeners who are like not having an erection every day. And then you know, they might be considering testosterone, like give them a little bit of like, how fast or how slow did it happen? A message of hope?

Robert Fleisher 22:54
Well, it’s not like you inject it, and all of a sudden you look down and go, oh my god retable. No, it takes probably not doesn’t take long. It doesn’t take months, it takes maybe a week. And you have to be very careful. This is important. I have to address this for Kevin because he said personal experience, you have to be very clear because I’m a doctor and I can tighter my own medication.

Robert Fleisher 23:16
I didn’t have to go to the doctor and have an objection each week that I played around with it myself. And I adjusted my dosage, the first dose that she gave me turned out it was too high. So I had to tone it down. One of the reasons I found that it was too high, and it kind of knew it was I was developing acne on my back, also known as back knee. I thought that was a joke, but it’s a real term.

Robert Fleisher 23:40
Versus leg knee. No, I’m kidding. I had developed acne, acne was called back there again. And that’s a sign of too much testosterone. There are people that go to the gym, and they take these hormones in order to get big muscles. That’s not what it’s for. That’s dangerous, that can cause all sorts of problems. It can cause testicles to shrink, it could cause all sorts of issues.

Robert Fleisher 24:05
You never want to do that. But that’s why you have to get under the doctor’s care so that it’s done properly. I wouldn’t expect everybody to know what level to give themselves. Although, you know, the doctor could guide them as long as they stop in every maybe week or two or three. But I wound up adjusting the dose and I don’t need a lot.

Robert Fleisher 24:23
But along with the erection which is obviously what we’re talking about, and it’s important for sex. There are so many other things that testosterone does for the guy. His executive function is higher muscle. I mean, again, we’re not shooting it like in a gym to get bigger, but it maintains muscle mass. As we age, you’re all gonna lose muscle. It’s just a fact of life.

Robert Fleisher 24:45
It’s called sarcopenia your muscles start to shrink as you get older. So this helps to slow that down. It helps with memory, guys that have manboobs that’s because they have too much estrogen in their system. loss of confidence. There are so many things that it helps besides just an erection that all come into play. Because if you have more confidence, you’re going to be better in bed. Or at least it sounds like it shouldn’t be, you know, again, that depends on the size of your penis. No.

Céline Remy 25:15
Well, we’ll have to have another conversation about that.

Robert Fleisher 25:17
Right, right. Yeah, I’m really confident with it.

Céline Remy 25:22
So one thing, though, that you also mentioned about men having like men boobs, or, or they have like the weight in the middle, which are all signs of estrogen dominance. But that can also be with supplementing and not converting your testosterone properly. So this is why it’s so important to be monitored, and have somebody who is trained and professional who is watching what’s going on.

Céline Remy 25:48
Because you might be taking testosterone, you’re like, Oh, this is great. But you’re not understanding that the process is not happening well, and then you’re starting to convert it into estrogen. And that’s creating a whole lot of other problems.

Robert Fleisher 26:01
That’s so true. That’s a big problem with the men and getting prostate problems, enlargement, and or cancer. A lot of folks listening might go to their doctor, especially if it’s a doctor who hasn’t been keeping up with it. And they might say, I’m not giving you testosterone, it causes prostate cancer. That’s what they’ll tell them. That was the thought 15 years ago.

Robert Fleisher 26:23
Today, because of the low T advertisements that were everywhere on television, a lot of doctors said I better, I better prescribe this. It’s something that’s happening and the pharmaceutical industry was pushing it too. So they started giving testosterone. They were giving it but not monitoring it not checking for what you just said, testosterone converts to estrogen if you have too much.

Robert Fleisher 26:48
Prostate cancer is not caused by testosterone, it’s caused by more likely estrogen, and is perfect proof. When do men get prostate cancer, they don’t get it when they’re 18 or 20, or 25. When their testosterone levels they’re shooting through the roof. No, they get it when they’re 50 6070 When their testosterone levels are down. But whatever testosterone they have is converting to estrogen, estrogen giving a man boobs, big waist in the stomach look like they’re pregnant.

Robert Fleisher 27:16
And they can develop all sorts of issues as a result of having too much estrogen in their system. And it’s, excuses me, it’s not just from their testosterone conversion. It’s also Xenoestrogens, estrogens that are in the environment, plastics, BPA different kinds of animals that we when you have beef if they’re injected with the estrogen to plump up a cow or a check-in and make them more saleable. It’s also plumping us up to so you have to be careful what you eat.

Robert Fleisher 27:48
Because estrogen can be a wonder drug, especially for women during menopause. But it can be a deadly drug, also for women in terms of getting breast cancer. And in terms of getting any kind of investor genic cancer if you got too much and the wrong type investor. We didn’t talk anything about women. But right now, we’re just doing the testosterone.

Kevin Anthony 28:10
Well, we’ll get there. Let’s take a break first for our second sponsor, and then we’ll dive in some more.

Céline Remy 28:15
All right. So if you are a committed couple who is stuck in a rut and just going through the daily motions instead of connecting the way you used to, and you’re tired of stale, mechanical sex, that lack spontaneity, and fun, and you don’t want to live a life of average, then Kevin and I would like to invite you to join our highly sexed power couple platinum program.

Céline Remy 28:34
If you give us 90 days, we will help you bring the passion back between the sheets and be synched up sexually so that you can thrive with more purpose and passion in life. So go to selling remi.com forward slash passion to know more about this amazing program. And yes, if your hormones are not working, that is definitely something that we will address. And may have you checked because it is the foundation.

Kevin Anthony 28:58
Yeah, well, one of the great things is one of the great things about doing this show is that we meet so many interesting people. And you know, it’s kind of like even going to school, we’re constantly learning things ourselves just from the quality and the caliber of the people that show up on this show and share their knowledge. And so then we can take all that stuff and incorporate it into the work that we do with others.

Kevin Anthony 29:22
Okay. So we have primarily been talking about testosterone and men, mostly because you’re a man and we wanted your experience. We wanted people to hear you know what you were experiencing beforehand. You know, how you found it, how you changed your life. But let’s talk a little bit about women because I know you have some stuff to share about that as well.

Robert Fleisher 29:45
Absolutely. Before I begin I do want to say that your program is awesome because you guys are open-minded and what you just said you were willing to learn, and this is what it’s all about. So the fact that you deal with behavioral issues beautifully You also now have a foundation to say, hey, let’s make sure these people are going to get better.

Robert Fleisher 30:05
So you have a great program. It’s very enticing. I think it’s wonderful. When I stopped taking testosterone, I’ll call you up and take the program.

Robert Fleisher 30:17
The because I do talk about how to be a great lover in my current book, I did tell you the sexless marriage fix was a real, horrible title. Because no one wants to keep that out on their coffee table. No one wants to sit on a beach reading a book. No one wants to sit on the beach, reading a book that says the sexless marriage fix. So basically, they screwed up, the publisher really picked a bad title.

Robert Fleisher 30:43
I do have a new book coming out, which will be much better and it’s going to have a lot more information. But anyway, I don’t mean to self-promote regarding women. I was so interested in this is before I met Dr. Morgan before I was on hormones, I was younger, I still had a sex drive, you know, things were okay. But because I had so much interest in what goes on with aging, I got permission to go to a conference with hundreds of women.

Robert Fleisher 31:10
And it was women all about women or something to that effect. And they looked at me like I was an ogre when I walked in the room and said, What are you doing here? I have permission. So I listened and I was all excited. And they were talking stuff that was unfortunately dated and old stuff. And I went home and I started writing a chapter about women’s hormones.

Robert Fleisher 31:32
And it was like a bonus by chance. All of a sudden, I hear on the news that women have to stop taking hormones. You got to stop immediately. Why did this happen? There was something called the Women’s Health Initiative study the WHI s it was I think around 2002 The goal was to include 1000s of women. I mean, 1000s This was a big NIH study, they wanted to find out if estrogen actually could reduce breast cancer. That was the purpose of the study.

Robert Fleisher 32:05
And halfway in, they found out that the people taking the estrogen were having more breast cancer. They were having blood clots in their lungs, they were having all sorts of negative issues, everything they thought was going to help. It wasn’t helping. So I had to go and readjust my entire chapter. But it didn’t now didn’t make any sense. And then they were because women were complaining.

Robert Fleisher 32:29
They were in menopause and they were having horrible symptoms. And what do you mean, I can’t take my hormones. So then they adjusted it. They said, Well, you can take your hormones just take less of it the lowest dose possible, and no more than five years. This was the directive. Out of all the authorities for hormones, did they ever address bioidentical hormones now, to this day, some of them are so staunchly opposed to it? It causes cancer it does this it does that.

Robert Fleisher 32:56
Well, the reality is it doesn’t cause cancer if you get the right hormones. So in the WHI s study, they were using something called prim Pro, what is Prempro? It says the hormone that was the estrogen and progesterone that they were given to women, Prempro, Prim stands for Premarin. That’s a drug that’s mixed in to make Primrose, do drugs. Premarin stands for pregnant mare urine, they get the estrogen in the urine of the pregnant mare a horse.

Robert Fleisher 33:28
So obviously, unless you’re rather large, you probably don’t need estrogen of that level. So right off the bat, that wasn’t the greatest estrogen you can give somebody from a horse. Then pro stood for pro-Vera. So Premiere Pro pro Vera was progestin not progesterone. progestin is, in my opinion, deadly. That’s the thing that’s causing breast cancer, lung clots, heart conditions, and everything else.

Robert Fleisher 34:02
I suggest everybody in your audience if you’re on hormones, first of all, you’re probably on birth control pills that your doctor didn’t know what else to give you. So we gave you birth control pills. And if you look at the ingredients, it’s gonna say progestin or progestogen. That’s another name for it, but it’s not gonna say progesterone.

Robert Fleisher 34:24
But trust me, that’s a horrible medication that a lot of people were and have been improperly stored taking. So you’ll want to make sure that you’re not on progestin. You want to talk to a doctor about possibly doing bioidentical hormones because there you’re getting real estrogen, the safe kind, and there are many types of estrogen.

Robert Fleisher 34:46
There are at least three main types and you want to make sure you’re on the proper one. Well, you can’t get this on the internet. You got to go to a doctor that’s versed in bioidentical hormones who’s going to monitor you and check your blood levels? So You want to be on estrogen and you want to be on progesterone, progesterone, not progestin. So I can’t emphasize that enough. That’s really interesting. Oh, yeah, that’s interesting.

Kevin Anthony 35:14
I was just gonna say that’s what Dr. Platt was sharing with us last week as well, basically very similar to what you were just saying,

Robert Fleisher 35:20
great, great, because these are the messages you got to get out there. There’s way too much breast cancer, there’s right mate way too much prostate cancer. And it’s not from the causes that the establishment medicine is telling us. It’s from, unfortunately.

Robert Fleisher 35:34
And interestingly, in the Women’s Health Initiative study, there was a subgroup that was just getting their estrogen, which was still too strong and everything but that group was having less breast cancer, the whole point that they wanted to approve in the beginning, but they ignored that. They just looked at the bigger group that was taking the Prempro, which included the progestin.

Robert Fleisher 35:54
Well, common sense if this group has estrogen and is having less breast cancer, and this group has estrogen and progestin and has more breast cancer, just because this is a bigger group, you don’t ignore this group, you have to come to some resolution. Why did that happen that way? So I just think that the studies they’re doing are, are they’re just missing logic at some point.

Robert Fleisher 36:14
So I think a lot of work needs to be done, but it’s getting better. People are starting to understand that there’s more to it. Other than that there, there are a couple of other hormones that we should touch about. I don’t know if your last guest talked about him or not. There’s something called oxytocin. Oxytocin is also called the love hormone, the bonding hormone that is the hormone that during pregnancy, helps contraction of the uterus and helps the baby come out.

Robert Fleisher 36:43
It can be supplemented you can get injections of oxytocin and it will make you feel in love. It’ll make you feel maybe not the minute you take it, but because you will, I’m sure so it kind of is it kind of Islam potion number nine, but it’s the bonding hormone. That’s why women after they give birth, want to be with their baby. Usually, some, unfortunately, there are other issues that sometimes that doesn’t happen.

Robert Fleisher 37:09
But oxytocin is an important hormone DHEA you might have heard of it, it’s over the counter. Anybody can buy it, not in a lot of countries, America, ironically, it’s you can buy it anywhere and go into any pharmacy, it’s on the vitamin shelf, and that’s a good supplement. To help libido it increases libido, not like testosterone or estrogen, but it helps. It decreases abdominal fat, thickens the skin it boosts immunity.

Robert Fleisher 37:38
It’s just a thing. People now will they hear that they’re gonna outgo by DHEA and expect all these wonderful things to happen. Now it’s dangerous if you don’t use it properly, but it is something that can enhance your estrogen and testosterone, but that’s another hormone that we have to talk about. Then there’s Msh melanocytes stimulating hormone.

Robert Fleisher 37:58
I don’t think your other guests might have talked about that. But that’s another one that enhances sexual arousal, inhibits appetite. And it causes a natural tan because you might have heard I said melanocytes are the little cells in our skin that make us tan. So if you go to us and testosterone women absolutely need some testosterone. Dr. Morgan said that when she was giving the women, some testosterone.

Robert Fleisher 38:23
The husbands would come back and thank her because all of a sudden, the women were getting more in the mood. So while we don’t have a real sex enhancement medicine for women, there are things that can definitely enhance their libido. Ironically, going back to we didn’t talk about Viagra, but Viagra does not enhance your libido at all.

Robert Fleisher 38:46
So I remember I once went to my doctor and I said you know, I’m not as interested in sex. I was thinking maybe I should get some Viagra and he says to me, he said doesn’t increase your sex drive. I said okay, and that was a discussion I said yeah.

Kevin Anthony 39:07
But then you’re standing around for the direction and you don’t want to do anything with it.

Robert Fleisher 39:12
That’s the thing so I learned I’m just letting the guys out there don’t go see him, libidos down I’d like survived but no go I can’t get an erection. I’d like some Viagra because that’s what it’s for. It doesn’t enhance libido. So I definitely asked the wrong question. And he gave me a prescription for it. Because I guess I started crying. No, no, he didn’t give me a prescription for it.

Robert Fleisher 39:34
But he but and I never took it I became fearful. I’m like a hypochondriac everything you can get I seem to get I And if you look at the instructions on Viagra, you can go blind you can become deaf, everything could turn blue. I didn’t want to become a smurf. I mean, there were a lot of reasons that I just was reluctant to take it. So you know, at this point, I haven’t taken it.

Robert Fleisher 39:57
But that’s been bringing guys back alive. And if they don’t have the libido, they’re not gonna care. But if they’re having erectile dysfunction, and they still have a libido that’s heartbreaking. I mean, they don’t know what to do. So Viagra and Cialis and all those medications really gave a new life to guys.

Robert Fleisher 40:16
And of course, it was the bane of coming from hell for women that had no libido and didn’t want to, and we’re having painful sex. Because don’t forget, if women are through into menopause, and they’re dried out, they don’t want to have sex with somebody that can have an erection that could last for hours or whatever. So these are things that it’s a big picture, you have to pull it all together and balance things out.

Robert Fleisher 40:42
And you do the most important thing is to get people to stop being mean to each other, get people to behave properly, groomed, properly, all the things that are needed to make a relationship happy. I even told you, I think I’d mentioned that there was this physician whose wife wouldn’t have sex with them for years, for years.

Robert Fleisher 41:00
And her reason is he had bad teeth. And it’s like, you got to be kidding. Why doesn’t he go to the dentist? I guess he had a fear of dentists or something. And that was the reason she said it was grooming. So that’s where we bring in grooming.

Kevin Anthony 41:12
I’m happy to hear you say that we actually did this goes quite a ways back. But we actually did an entire episode on why you should groom for that exact reason.

Robert Fleisher 41:21
Absolutely. That subsets absolutely right. And so he winds up leaving the wife, he winds up getting married to somebody who appreciated his bad gums and teeth. And she winds up still never having sex because that wasn’t a big hurry. I mean that that was the reason she said it was his teeth. But she had no libido, no interest, no interest in getting better. She was the catch 23 And it was he got to live frustrated and miserable.

Robert Fleisher 41:47
A lot of people live frustrated, miserable lives because they’re not getting what they want in the relationship. It started out great when they were young, but then they got older and then all of a sudden the hormones are in decline. They’re not treating each other kindly. And things like that happen. Yeah, by the way, just one thing on grooming. I talk about makeup sex, which is amazing.

Robert Fleisher 42:09
So you have a big fight and now you have makeup sex. It’s wonderful. If you do it right. There are bad ways to do it, too. But then there’s sex makeup. I kind of like the play on word sex makeup is making yourself look nice. Maybe once in a while. Groom nicely for your mate. Pretend you’re going on a date with somebody new. These are things that keep relationships healthy.

Kevin Anthony 42:32
Absolutely. All right, we are. We are pretty much out of time. But we do have one or maybe two more questions. Well, a quick

Céline Remy 42:41
like to wrap it up. Robert, what advice do you have for someone who thinks they might be a candidate for bioidentical hormones? What’s their first step now that they’ve listened to this? What should they do?

Robert Fleisher 42:51
You have to find a physician that knows bioidentical hormones, not somebody that’s just going to give you hormones and not even check you and not do blood work. And they really need to know Him. And that’s not an easy question. I haven’t been fortunate that I met somebody that really was on top of it.

Robert Fleisher 43:06
But there are now a lot of people jumping on the wagon, they want to give it so you got to do your research, you’ve got to try to find somebody that maybe look at their website, see if they talk about how they’re going to do it, are they going to go do blood tests and things like that, and you’ll find somebody, I’m pretty sure you can find somebody.

Robert Fleisher 43:22
And you have to also decide what way you want to take them, women could get estrogen through a cream that’s rubbed on their arm, it could be rubbed on their vagina, they could get a pellet inserted, there’s a lot of ways you can take it. One of the things you have to be careful if you’re rubbing it on your vagina, you got to be careful when your guy has sex that he doesn’t want him to have manboobs because he’s getting the estrogen from having sex with you.

Robert Fleisher 43:45
And I’m not joking about that. Because that was something that I ran into where I found it was very important you got to put it on after sex, or put it on in the morning if you’re not having morning sex. But as you can see, I never answer a question simply as we’re running out of time. I apologize.

Céline Remy 44:03
It’s okay. We are getting to our last juicy question here. We want to know what is your best sexual talents, then Roberts?

Robert Fleisher 44:10
My best sexual talents? Well, as I told you, I’m a dentist and who would know more about oral sex than the dentist? So that would be my cute way to answer that question. And quick.

Kevin Anthony 44:23
It’s good it’s a good talent to have.

Robert Fleisher 44:26
Yes, it is. And it works both ways.

Kevin Anthony 44:29
Absolutely. All right. Well, that was a fantastic conversation. By the way. Thank you so much for sharing all of that stuff. The last thing is how can our listeners find out more about what you do find your books, whatever, wherever you want to point them to find out more about you and what you’re up to.

Robert Fleisher 44:50
My website is Robert. And isn’t Michael Fleischer. That’s my website and I that goes into a lot of things and mentions the books. And certainly, on Amazon, you can find me I have about eight or nine books that you can find that they’re not all related to having an orgasm or an erection. But that’s where most of my stuff is located. Thank you for offering me to mention that.

Kevin Anthony 45:21
You’re welcome. That link, of course, will be in the comments, so you can find it there as well. And just lastly, thank you again for coming on the show and sharing your personal experience and knowledge of hormones.

Robert Fleisher 45:33
Well, I thank you and I thank you from the bottom of my heart, you’re doing a magnificent service for a lot of people out there to keep them from having frustrating lives that just don’t seem to go anywhere. You’re doing a great job and I’ve read a lot of your stuff. And you guys are top-notch. Thank you for having me.

Kevin Anthony 45:51
Thank you. Pleasure.

Céline Remy 45:52
Thank you, Robert.

Kevin Anthony 45:53
All right, everybody. That’s all the time we have for this episode. And we will see you next week. We hope you liked this episode of the Love Lab podcast. If you enjoy this show, subscribe. Leave us a review and share it with your friends.

Céline Remy 46:11
And for more free exclusive content. Join us in the passion vault at kevinanthonycoaching.com/vault.

Kevin Anthony 46:25
Thanks for listening. And

Céline Remy 46:27
remember, you’re amazing