How To Create A Great Online Dating Profile

Céline Remy 0:11
Welcome to the Love Lab Podcast, a safe place to get real about sex. Whether you’re a man, woman single or couple, this is the show for you. Because well, sex matters. We are your hosts Kevin Anthony and Céline Remy.

Kevin Anthony 0:26
Welcome back to the love lab podcast. This is Episode 78 and it is titled: “How to create a great online dating profile.”

Céline Remy 0:37
who have exciting so obviously this episode is for you if you are single, or even if you’re in a relationship but you are dating more than one person. And this is pretty I would say like relevant because it’s the beginning of the year or and a lot of people are still looking for their perfect partner and are putting themselves out there, and we just helped a friend do that. And this is really how this episode’s came together.

Kevin Anthony 1:07
Yes, you may have made a new year’s resolution that you were finally going to get back out there and finally find Mr. or Mrs. Right.

Céline Remy 1:17
And this is exactly what our dear friend did. And she reached out to us and she said, Kevin, Celine to you have some time to get on a video call with me and go from my dating profile because I respect you guys opinion. I love your relationship. How about what you guys have? And I think we spent like a good 45 minutes and we were like, this was great. And we need to have more than one person now.

Kevin Anthony 1:40
Well, and this has not been the first time that somebody has asked us to look at their profile and help them dial it in it actually happens somewhat often.

Céline Remy 1:49
Absolutely. And you know, that’s not what we do full time but we do understand relationships and dynamics and all of that and we have some really good tips but before we get into that, let’s give a big shout out to our sponsor power and mastery.

Céline Remy 2:06
If you want to join the secret club of men who are great in bed, then check out power and mastery. It is the most complete sexual mastery training for men. And powerandmastery.com is where you can find all about it.

Kevin Anthony 2:21
Okay, so before we start giving you the tips on how to create a great online dating profile, we do both want to say that neither of us have actually had our own online dating profile. Like, it just didn’t work out that way for us that we really ever had to do that. But we do have experience because we’ve had friends and clients come to us and say, can you please help? I’m not sure what to do here. Do you think this is good? And so we’ve actually gone through this exercise with clients multiple times. So we do have some experience here.

Kevin Anthony 2:56
As we were sort of brainstorming our ideas and tips. And as we were also doing research, we kind of realized that it’s very similar to doing say, like branding for your business or your podcast, branding advertising. Yeah, I don’t want to tell you that you’re selling yourself, but in a way, you’re selling yourself. So we realized there were a lot of similarities. Since we do have quite a bit of experience doing that sort of thing, we thought it would be kind of fun to blend the two together.

Kevin Anthony 3:29
Now, the last caveat I have before we go into the tips is that there are a lot of articles online that gives you tips and they’re great tips is that not that they’re bad tips, but they’re more like, you know, write this thing and do you know, the, we kind of we’re not going to go into those types of tips. We’ve got some other things that I think are very valuable, that doesn’t really get written about much aren’t mentioned all that often, that I think are actually even more important than the step by step how-to is that a lot of the articles give you

Céline Remy 4:03
Create a good tagline and choose your username carefully. These things are important. But I think it’s not like the heart of it. Yeah. And you know, I want to say to that have a lot of compassion for all of you out there dating like him and said, we’ve never had to create an online dating profile because we were lucky enough to meet each other at a friend’s party. And when I see because we have several friends that are single what they go through in the process and what it takes now to kind of put yourself out there in the dating world. I feel very grateful that I don’t have to deal with that. It feels like a lot of work.

Kevin Anthony 4:45
It’s very different now. It’s interesting because there are more and more people on this planet every year. I mean, there’s more and more people to choose from, you know, I can tell you that the place where we live, I’ve seen the population dramatically increase In the time that I’ve lived here, so there’s more and more fish in the sea, as they say, we’re more and more connected, we have more and more technology. And yet it’s harder and harder for people to meet people. So yeah, we get it. It’s not easy. And, you know, leveraging technology can be helpful.

Céline Remy 5:17
I was gonna say, if you like in your mid-50s, and you know, you have a chance for a second chance in life, and you’re like, wow, I just had a client who reached out to me, I was like, I’m so overwhelmed with all the things I guess I’m kind of old school. And so I think that what we’re trying to do with today’s episode is give you some ways to bring back some of the old school with new technology with the things and really put yourself out there in a way that feels authentic. And that also helps you to attract the right kind of attention and the right kind of people.

Kevin Anthony 5:48
Absolutely. So that takes us right to our very first tip. Which is Who are you looking for? So this is where before you even started before you even pick what online dating site you want to be on. You need to know who exactly you’re looking for. And I tell you why. Because there are sites out there for everything. There’s sites out there for spiritual people. There are sites out there for hookup people, there’s sites out there for I mean, basically you name it, there’s all these niche sites now like it used to be there was just a dating site, and everybody was on it.

Kevin Anthony 6:28
But that’s really not the case anymore. There are so many different ones. So you know, if you’re looking for somebody who’s very spiritual-minded, well then maybe a regular dating site isn’t the best place doesn’t mean that there aren’t going to be spiritual people that don’t just mean that maybe you want to go to one of these more spiritually focused sites like I know we just helped our friend with meet mindful, supposed to be people who are a little bit more spiritual singles, spiritual singles, and there are all these different things. So knowing who it is you want before You even start is a very important.

Céline Remy 7:02
Yeah. And then what do you want? Right? Because it will really determine where you put yourself out there, like Kevin said, because there are so many options. I mean, we recommend that you try several different side, like, it’s probably better than doing just one until you fine-tune things. But again, I mean, I wouldn’t go on Bumble, if you not wanting a one night stand.

Céline Remy 7:23
You know, it’s like, you gotta be very real about your expectations, depending on where you put yourself on. So it’s okay, like, by the way, give yourself permission in that whole thing of who you are looking for, like, Don’t limit yourself based on what you think number one is possible from your past relationship. Or like, well, I shouldn’t be asking this much like, this is the beauty like online dating gives you access to so many more people than you would if you stay just in the little village that you grew up in.

Céline Remy 7:59
And with that, It allows you to become maybe even more picky because you have a bigger pool to fish from. And most people’s mistake is that they censor themselves before they even start.

Kevin Anthony 8:15
Yeah. And so like, the game that we often play is, if I could have it all my way, we’ve talked about this before, I think on the show, but the idea is like, Well, what do you want? Well, instantly our minds go into Well, I want that. But that’s not going to happen. Because of this thing over here, or it’s not the right day, or what we try to do when we come up with, if we could have it all our way is all the blocks go out the window, anything that could get in the way, the practicality of well, it’s too late for that.

Kevin Anthony 8:45
So, therefore, that can’t happen. We throw all that out and we say if we could have it literally all our way. Money is not an issue. Time is not an issue, whatever. What is it that we would really want and I think that’s a great place to start when trying to figure out who You’re looking for and what you want.

Céline Remy 9:01
Yeah. And then you get a little bit more pumped up, right? Because writing your profile is a little bit of work, right? And, you know, maybe you’re not the greatest at it, or maybe you’re afraid you’re going to make a mistake. And it’s like, like, if you get yourself in the zone of feeling good about yourself feeling good about what you want in your life, you will write very differently than if you like, I don’t know if I’m doing this right.

Céline Remy 9:27
And then I also want to say that you need to get clear before you get started have what we call you nonnegotiables. Like things that you just not gonna stand for that you don’t want. And you know that there shouldn’t be like, 20 of those. I mean,

Kevin Anthony 9:44
but there could be they could be yes. Okay. I mean, look, the reality is, is that, the more specific you get, yeah, with everything, whether it’s your negotiables what you want, all that is going to narrow the pool down, right, but that’s a good thing.

Céline Remy 10:00
Yes, that’s true, because for many they get afraid of like, oh, but what if I narrowed it so much? And it’s like you actually want that? Because who has time to answer 300 requests, you know? And if you read them through, like, maybe our ego likes it better, like, Oh my gosh, I just got like, 100 messages versus 10. But I’d much rather have high quality over the quantity.

Kevin Anthony 10:22
Well, and here’s, here’s what our friends and clients have told us as well about that, that, in fact, one of them just told us recently that they were on one of the big sites, you know, I don’t say anything bad about them. So I’ve maybe I won’t mention their name, but, but they got so many requests, it couldn’t actually go through them. Yeah. And that’s, that’s the thing, right?

Kevin Anthony 10:41
You get so many requests, then it’s impossible to weed through them all. And so you might have a request from somebody that really is perfect for you and meets your needs. But it’s lost in 100 other requests and you never even get there

Céline Remy 10:56
Did she said she had like 700

Kevin Anthony 10:59
like it was I remember a huge number.

Céline Remy 11:00
I was like, I mean, granted, she’s a beautiful woman,

Kevin Anthony 11:04
beautiful woman, but there was also meeting a lot of requests. I don’t remember how many it was, but it was a lot. And I when she said the number all I remember thinking is, you couldn’t possibly go through them all. There’s no way, right. And the thing is, is what you really want. Now, this is different if your whole goal is just to hook up, right? If your goal is just to hook up, and there’s nothing wrong with that we’re not judging that in any way. If that’s your goal, though, you don’t need to be as picky. Right? Absolutely.

Kevin Anthony 11:34
So, you know, you don’t need to have things as well thought out or as well plan. You don’t maybe have to read every last little detail. You know, you’re just like, Oh, yeah, they’re pretty good looking. Pretty similar and lifestyle. They look like a safe, real sane person. Okay, that’s probably good enough. But if what you’re looking for is an actual life partner, then it’s very, very different. Hmm, and You really, really, really, really want whoever that is responding to you to be as close to what you want as possible. So narrowing it down is a good thing. Yeah.

Céline Remy 12:10
So we got it down to nine really good tips that you need to look for as you are writing your profile as you creating it. And I also wanted to say that if you’re not the best writer, and it’s sometimes difficult, what I recommend doing is speaking it into your phone. I like the way you would talk to a friend because it removes a little bit of this deafness and it just makes it so much more natural the way we speak than sometimes the way we write.

Céline Remy 12:40
And in your profile, you do want to look come across as natural. I mean, unless you’re somebody who’s really stiff and very polished and that’s who you are, then please stay with that. But if you tend to be more like relaxed or casual and natural, and then I in writing you come across differently than try to Speak it and I might remove a little bit of the blocks of having to find the proper words. So that’s just a little tip before you get started and to help you maybe get clarity, a lot of the time when my clients love the most is they sit with us and they talk out loud.

Céline Remy 13:16
And that’s basically what are we telling you to do? Right? It’s talking out loud about your ideas and just record yourself and the fact of expressing something out loud helps you to get clarity on some things that you want. And like.

Kevin Anthony 13:29
I think that’s the basis of an entire branch of psychology. You know, there’s different branches of psychology and some psychologists will have a conversation with you, and other ones will just sit there and take notes the entire time. The ones that sit there and take notes, that’s basically their entire philosophy. They’re just gonna let you talk and hopefully through talking you’ll come to your own realizations.

Céline Remy 13:50
really powerful so that’s why you know, you don’t need to bet a psychologist just turn on the phone.

Kevin Anthony 13:56
can be if you’re capable of getting to those Places some people are not in the new help. So anyway, so all of that stuff that we talked about so far is laying the groundwork. Right? That’s like before you even register for the site and sit down to write, but now you got that groundwork laid, and you are ready to write your profile. So we’ve got these nine tips to help you do that. And like we said before, there are lots of other tips.

Kevin Anthony 14:24
You can find them all over the internet. But these are maybe some of them that you hadn’t thought of. I know some of them on this list for sure. In our research, I did not see written anywhere, but they came up when working with clients.

Céline Remy 14:38
Absolutely. So number one, you want to be yourself and be honest, it is really important people. I mean, we live in a fake world all the time. And we do crave this realness and authenticity and it starts with you. And I think that it’s about loving yourself enough that having this amount of confidence that who you are is perfect, and you are lovable, and somebody out there will love you just the way you are.

Céline Remy 15:07
And you don’t have to change anything. So, again, it starts with yourself right with loving yourself enough. And then once you have that in place, you can be out there and put yourself like be honest and be yourself at all times. Yeah,

Kevin Anthony 15:19
So this may be advertising. But this is the most important time that your advertising needs to be real. Not just made up bullshit. Because the reality is, is if you’re not honest, they’re going to figure it out eventually. Oh, yeah. And one of two things, it’s either going to happen, either they’re going to be pissed off that you didn’t tell them the truth to begin with.

Kevin Anthony 15:40
Or they’re suddenly going to go, you’re not a match shit. And now we’ve invested how many dates and how much time and blah, blah, blah on? It turns out, you’re not really what I was looking for. So being honest, super, super important.

Céline Remy 15:57
Number two, I’m very excited about this. Oh my gosh. Good photos, current and real.

Kevin Anthony 16:04

Yes. You know, it’s sad that we even have to say that, but I can tell you that going through. So one of the things that our clients will ask us to do is not only help them write their online dating profile, but they also get requests from other people. And they say, Well, what do you think about this one? What do you think about this?

Kevin Anthony 16:25
And so now we’re looking at other people’s profiles, and trying to decide what we think about who they are as a person and then make a recommendation, right? So there are some interesting trends that we see when we do this. One is specific to men. And that trend is the men for some reason, are often using photos that are way old.

Céline Remy 16:51
Like way old, and yes, your maybe your Valley was flattered. 10 years ago, but trust me as a woman, if you put a photo of you have that 10-15 years old Then you show up and you’re very different. It’s going to be a huge disappointment and poison for many this will not lead to a second date.

Kevin Anthony 17:07
So you know, before online dating Well, I guess maybe it wasn’t before but it was quite a few years ago, but I had a friend who was a psychologist, interestingly enough, and his professional photo had to be 20 years younger than where he was at the time. And he was a great guy I you know, I don’t know why but, but the thing is, is that people show up then to work with you and they’re like, Who’s this guy? That’s another guy I saw.

Céline Remy 17:36
You know, now that you have no excuses. I mean, everybody owns a phone owns a computer. I mean, the technology is out there. It’s really easy to just snap a picture, you know, or have somebody else take a picture of you so really like, and then when you think of your pictures, you know, think of them as I’m telling a story about who you are also, and have a mix of them.

Céline Remy 17:57
So if you are wanting to spend time outdoors maybe have a photo of you being outdoors because then like that photo is worth 1000 words, you know, they see you do the things that you say you like, if, alright, so there’s some serious ground rules to photos here.

Kevin Anthony 18:16
This is not just a casual like I’ll just throw up before I first thing that we recommend. Don’t use your branding photos. Like if you’re an entrepreneur or you know, okay, branding photos or you’re like more glamour shot, you know, don’t use the photo of you with a ton of makeup with professional style with like, whatever. It’s not that we don’t want you to look good, but we want you to look like you so that when you show up like What you don’t want is you’re supposed to meet at a restaurant and your, your date walks past you because they didn’t even recognize you from the photo. Seriously.

Kevin Anthony 18:54
Like we see people do this. They put these super, overly glamorized photos of themselves like yeah, we all want to look good. But you don’t want the person to be disappointed. Who is that? That’s not even the person I saw, you know? So that’s one right like, use a photo that makes you look good, but that is also real. Mm-hmm. Don’t hide behind your sunglasses had to have this weird artistic photo of you where we see a profile but we see nothing of you.

This is another thing that drives me crazy. I got clients asked me Well, what do you think about this guy or this girl? And I’m like, I can’t tell anything. Artistic photos of like, you know, the hat covering and then the side of the profile. And I’m like, I can’t even tell what this person looks like.

Kevin Anthony 19:44
The other thing that they do a lot aside from weird profiles and angles and stuff, they don’t show their whole body. You’ll just see ahead or like some weird piece or something. Yeah, well, are they tall? Are they short? Are they you know, big Are they small and, you know, this is not about discriminating like, Oh, you know if somebody is fat or anything like that, but it’s just about what it is you want. Like for me, somebody who is athletic is it’s, it’s a must for me. I’m very athletic myself, I like to move, I want to go out and do things.

Kevin Anthony 20:18
So having a partner that can do that is important. So you know, if I’m only seeing these headshots that are overly glamorized and awesome, and then I show up on the day, and she’s three times the size of me, well, that’s not going to work for me. And it’s nothing, it’s not discriminating against that person. There’s nothing wrong with that. As long as they’re comfortable with who they are in their body. That’s great, but it’s just not going to be a match for me. But it could be for somebody else.

Céline Remy 20:43
And that’s why it’s so important. So I mean, and women think oftentimes we think like, Oh, this is not perfect, I’ve got this or that. I don’t like to hear that from so many women. I don’t like the way my tummy looks here. My thighs are too. Too big or whatever it is, but remember that most of the time we judge ourselves so much harder than other people do.

Céline Remy 21:05
And men don’t look at us the same way that we do. Hey, you don’t have to put I mean, don’t put a lander a picture of you or something in a bikini really, you know, but like, you can have a full length in a nice dress or in pants and your jeans or I don’t know, sitting outside on the road, like whatever that is. What’s your goal?

Kevin Anthony 21:23
His goal is hookup time, then yes, I’m sexy laundry, but the point is, is whatever it is, it should be real. Yeah. So like, people tend to think that, Oh, I’m just gonna put a sensual lingerie pic or whatever on there, because that’s going to attract people to you. But if that’s not who you really are, then it’s not really relevant, is it?

Céline Remy 21:42
Well, plus, remember whatever you put out on the internet and the crowd

Kevin Anthony 21:46
It is out forever.

Céline Remy 21:51
anything you don’t want other people to ever use against you never put it online.

Kevin Anthony 21:56
Yeah, there’s one other thing that I wanted to talk about with photos Everything we said is totally relevant. And there’s one more that I never see written about. But it comes up when we do this, which is some of these dating profiles, especially if you’re using an app, like on a phone, the way it organizes the information is very interesting because a lot of them will just start with pictures up top. And you don’t get to some of the really more pertinent information into way down.

Kevin Anthony 22:28
And so people just kind of like, they’re just, you know, swiping through and all they’re seeing is photos. And they’re making decisions based on the photo itself. So what photos you put are going to say a lot about you and the part that I wanted to add on that it’s also one of our nine here is let’s say you’re a single parent, and you have a kid at home. This is a big part of your life and a very important decision for a potential mate to decide will do.

Kevin Anthony 22:59
I want to be in your relationship with somebody who has a kid one of the things we notice is that you’ll be looking at somebody’s profile and you know, you’re looking at all the photos there’s nothing in there that says family person or kid related at all right? And then it’s buried way down in the text somewhere that yes, they have a kid at home part-time, full time whenever it is.

We were both of the opinions of if you had a child having a nice photo of you and your child mixed in there somewhere it doesn’t have to be like all photos of you and your kids because that would be annoying.

Kevin Anthony 23:35
But you know, one photo or so of you with your kids to just to let people know that Yeah, you are single parents and you do have kids because that’s a huge consideration when somebody is flipping through, you know, the photos, they’re going to see that right away. And if that’s a deal-breaker for them, they’ll keep right on going and if it’s not, they’re going to want to know more.

Céline Remy 23:55
remember you telling a story through your pictures. Alright, so let’s move to number three, write complete sentences and check your spelling. It’s very important. So the second happened with our friend where she received this net and this request and the guy’s profile was full of mistakes. And

Kevin Anthony 24:17
it wasn’t complete sentences. It wasn’t just spelling mistakes, but it wasn’t complete sentences

Céline Remy 24:22
show that you care. Because if it’s like I’m too, like, I don’t even care enough to write a good sentence and I just did this in five minutes on my phone, like, what’s the message that you telling to the women looking at that? Like, I’m, you know, that doesn’t matter to me, like, I’m not gonna show up pulling give my best. Like, everyone did that.

Kevin Anthony 24:40
Here’s the thing, guys. Do you know what her reaction was to that? She’s like, I don’t think I want to message him back because he can’t even write a complete sentence. Yeah. So it was a pretty big turnoff for her. You know, you and I were like, Well, you know, maybe English is a second language. And she’s like, no, he has a video on there.

Kevin Anthony 24:59
And he’s like, totally American universities were like, well, that and you know, what can we say? It doesn’t have to be the most perfect, complex sentences in perfect grammar that show that you were an English literature major in university. It doesn’t have to be anything like that. But you know, at least show that you can write a sentence.

Céline Remy 25:21
And please just use autocorrect. Like we all have that on our computers, it doesn’t take long to just double-check some,

Kevin Anthony 25:28
and what a lot of the other articles you read will tell you is to write it in a word processing program and do a spell check where it all check all that stuff for you and then paste it into your profile.

Céline Remy 25:39
I mean, really do the same thing you would if you applied for a job, right give you the same consideration and when you write your resume and stuff, it has to look good, you don’t have that many chances. You only have this one time to convince the person and so you got to do your best and if you don’t do your best and don’t expect to have the best reach out to you.

Céline Remy 25:56
Yeah. So we talked about the single parent as our number four To be a proud whether it’s using photos, whether it’s writing it in the copy to have like, Hey, I’m a single parent or I have a kid 50% of the time because these again will make a big difference, right? And as we talking about the single parenting and children we thought to about pets, because you might want to include your pets. I mean, don’t be the crazy cat lady. But if you do have that, if it’s important to you, or if you are allergic to certain, like animals, like these things need to be set upfront.

Kevin Anthony 26:30
Yeah, absolutely. You know, the thing is, for a lot of people having a pet isn’t that big a deal. But for some people, it’s a really big part of their lives. Like, you know, I definitely know a few women who are like, they don’t go anywhere without their dog. That’s true. And they love their dog and their dog is basically like their child. And there’s nothing wrong with that. Super cool. It’s always cute to watch.

Kevin Anthony 26:53
But that might not be for everybody. So it would be important. Like if you’re that into whatever It is dogs, cats, pigs, you know, I got a friend who’s got a pet pig. Horses, I have a family, have horses, you know, we have another friend who has rats like people got lots of pets. And if they’re important to you and they’re a big part of your life, then it would be important to include that

Céline Remy 27:17
as we talking about inclusion. Tip number six is to not leave anything blank. And I know sometimes it can be tricky because sometimes you have to choose through a drop-down menu, what you know what would apply for you. And it’s always difficult to find the perfect definition of what you would want to say.

Céline Remy 27:34
But if you live it blank, you live it up to the imagination, and then you get tons of people who are like reaching out or asking like questions or making speculation about things. And it’s, yeah, it’s not as easy as if you had put something in at least.

Kevin Anthony 27:51
So what’s interesting about that was we actually watched this happen in real-time, where something was left blank and then she Starting to go into, well, maybe it’s this or maybe it’s that it’s like, created an entire story around the fact that maybe he just forgot to check that box. Like, who knows, you know, the point is, is that if you don’t specifically say it, then that leaves it open for the monkey mind to create all these scenarios.

Kevin Anthony 28:20
And, you know, if they, if they don’t know, when they reach out and ask a question, nobody, right, no harm no foul in that case. But if they decide to reach out to you or not reach out to you, simply because they look at that and they go, Oh, they didn’t, they didn’t check that box about whatever. So that must mean then that therefore, they’re not a good match, right? And then you lose out on an opportunity. So we did notice also, that, you know, there are cases where not like they give you you know, five options to choose in the job down and none of them really fits.

Kevin Anthony 28:55
So, you know, I would say in that case, pick the one that’s as close to To you, and then you have an opportunity, later on, you know, in, in either your deal breakers or whatever to clarify it. Mm-hmm, absolutely.

Number seven, I really like this one. This is about focusing on the positive of what you want. And this is really important, not putting the negative and it works for both men and women. And so what we mean by that is, you know, when you write things, it’s easier to say, Oh, I don’t want somebody who smokes drinks and has no willpower.

Kevin Anthony 29:36
But technically what you want to shift this thing, so you don’t want to say things like, hey, if you like Dr. Confidence or lack intelligence, don’t even bother reaching out to me. This feels very negative, right? You want to change it around and say something more like hey, I’m really attracted to men or by men or women who have big goals and have confidence,

Céline Remy 29:58
confidence and a good sense of humor, like whenever that is like, think about the positive because nobody wants to identify when you look at something and you’re like, oh, I’m looking for a very intelligent, well-spoken being and you’re like, Oh, that’s me like you want to identify to that. But if it’s like, I don’t want to deal with people who are always late, nobody wants to really put that label on themselves, right?

Kevin Anthony 30:22
Well, it also shows a little something about your personality. Are you the type of person that’s negative all the time? Are you the type of person who is positive all the time? We all I think most of us would prefer to be with somebody who’s positive. The only caveat to this one is when you’re in your deal breakers. So when you’re writing your deal-breaker section, it’s kind of hard to be positive like, let’s say smoking is a deal-breaker for you.

Kevin Anthony 30:44
Yeah, it’s kind of hard to say that’s a deal-breaker like hearing you say, Well, I would I really prefer somebody who’s, who loves healthy lungs, you know, like probably better in that case. Just say it if that’s a deal-breaker, exactly. But other than that throughout the rest of your profile, you should really focus on wording things in a way that is positive and uplifting as opposed to negative.

Céline Remy 31:12
Okay, number eight. Show, don’t tell. So don’t just say it. We’re not done yet. We’re not talking about

Kevin Anthony 31:19
photos here.

Céline Remy 31:21
We talking about if you say if you like, rather than say, Oh, I’m so funny. Right things that are funny inside your profile. If you are witty or intelligent like us, we use words that say that if you like, like, try to show it not by saying it but by being at.

Kevin Anthony 31:43
That’s another life lesson to write. Be who you want to be. Don’t just talk about it. Just go around saying you are something actually be it.

Céline Remy 31:53
And then number nine is a really important one. I think it’s to add details and paint a picture of it. Imagine sometimes you could even depending on what profile you are and how much space if you have the premium package where you get to add an extra 800 words and stuff like that. But the idea here is to paint a picture of what your life is like so that people can see themselves with you.

Céline Remy 32:14
And little details are the things that we remember about people, whoever it’s like, my favorite color is purple, and like, oh, fearful, you know, or like, you never catch me going out without my sunglasses. like making it up right now. But these are little details, you know, and rather than to say like, I love coffee, it could be like, I start every morning with a hot cup of my favorite coffee latte frappuccino exactly

Kevin Anthony 32:46
triple What am

Céline Remy 32:48
I thank you because I don’t drink coffee and I’m like, Why did I choose that? I don’t even know.

Kevin Anthony 32:53
There is one caveat to this one though. One that I saw when researching that kind of made sense to Me too, which is you want to give details so people can really get a feel for who you are. But leave the details out that could be bad if somebody got a hold of them, right? Like, don’t give too many details about your life. Personally, so, you know, like your favorite colors awesome.

Céline Remy 33:21
I mean, your favorite drink, like, like, just things like that. Yeah, so we’re not talking about personal data, things that really would identify you and you know, your secret passwords and stuff like that. And it’s, you know, also don’t make it ultra lengthy that everything is into details, like keep a little bit of mystery because that’s sexy.

Céline Remy 33:41
But just add one or two details like just the little touch, you know that the cherry on top of the cake. So we hope that all of these tips have helped you feel more confident about what to do. Now, remember that at the end of the day, don’t take anything personally you know, have fun and enjoy the process. haters are gonna hate lovers are gonna love. That’s exactly what

Kevin Anthony 34:09
I was thinking in my head really. I was gonna say that I was waiting for the average eight years are gonna hate right? Who cares don’t pay any attention to

Céline Remy 34:17
I know it’s a tricky one because you’re putting yourself out there and sometimes I don’t take it too personally like a lot of people they project it’s all about them and you know don’t waste time like thinking something’s wrong with you just put yourself out there and just focus on the fun.

Céline Remy 34:32
and then I’m gonna say like big willing to give the person a chance in person to because not everybody is a great marketer, great writer, great looking good on paper, but they can be great people to be around the ones you laugh with that I’ve people you have such a great time with even a life partner.

Céline Remy 34:48
And sometimes, you know, on paper, it’s hard. It’s hard to come across to convey all of the subtleties of who you are. Sometimes we get stuck in our ideas of false projections. Give people a chance to meet in person because when you nothing beats meeting in person real-time contact it gets out of the fantasy. Remember that you don’t expect to find your life partner in a week or in one date.

Kevin Anthony 35:15
Exactly. These things take time. Even if you’ve had a couple of say dates, you know, like ones that didn’t really go so well. Don’t give up. You know, just keep trying until you find what you’re looking for.

Céline Remy 35:29
Yeah, refine your process, refined, your, your profile change, sometimes pictures if you’re not attracting the right people, it means you didn’t write something that was like the right words. There are people who do this for a living and will help you right profile.

Céline Remy 35:45
So maybe seek help for people like that if you need to. But otherwise, just keep trying. Keep having fun, and most importantly, go out there, do things that you love, don’t just do it all online and stay at home. I’d like you actually have more chances to meet people when you go out.

Kevin Anthony 36:08
So always, that’s always been my advice, because that’s what’s always worked for me and which is why I haven’t done online dating sites in the past. It’s just because what I did was I just went out and did all the things that I wanted to do the types of things that were interesting to me and fun. And then I would just naturally meet people, you know, but that does require you getting off the couch and going out somewhat frequently. Mm-hmm.

Céline Remy 36:31
Yeah. Well, I hope this was helpful. You’ve got plenty to start with. So put it all together. put yourself out there. We wish you the best in finding your perfect match.

Kevin Anthony 36:43
That’s right. It’s the beginning of 2020. So it is the perfect time for you to do this. All right, everybody, that’s all the time we have for this episode, and we will see you next week. We hope you liked this episode of the love lab podcast. If you enjoyed this show, leave a comment and share it with your friends. And if you want more, we have an entire digital library with the best sex

Céline Remy 37:11
tips and Relationship Advice at Celine Remy. com. That’s celinemy.com So join us in the sex vault to continue this adventure. Thanks for listening, and remember, you’re amazing.