Why You Should Stop Asking Your Friends For Relationship Advice

Kevin Anthony 0:12
Welcome to the love lab podcast a safe place to get real about sex. Whether you’re a man, woman, single or couple, this is the show for you. Because well, sex matters. We are your hosts Kevin Anthony, Céline Remy.

Kevin Anthony 0:28
Welcome back to the love lab podcast. We are in our new studio as you can see if you’re watching the video. Actually, that’s not true. We just got a new background.

Kevin Anthony 0:39
Alright, so this is Episode 75. And it’s why you should stop asking your friends for relationship advice and who should you ask? So last week’s show it was the first show of the new year and we were talking about how to make 2020 the best year of your relationships.

Kevin Anthony 1:01
And so we thought it would be appropriate to sort of follow that up with because, you know, a lot of people at the beginning of the year, and they come up with these, you know, resolutions or these, you know, things that they want to accomplish in the year. And if one of those is to improve your relationships, you know, one of the things that you might do is trying to find out where you can get some good advice.

Kevin Anthony 1:26
I mean, that’s the first thing that I would do is like, if I was looking at my relationship and thinking, this is not working, or this is not good, I need to do something about it. One of the things I would do is figure out, Okay, what Don’t I know and where can I find that information? So you might be very tempted to reach out to your friends. And we have some word of caution about that.

Céline Remy 1:48
Don’t do it.

Céline Remy 1:51
Just don’t. Do yourself a favor.

Céline Remy 1:54
Actually, it’s not such a black and white situation. So we’re going to look at the pros and cons and really how to use discernment. Most importantly, we’re also going to give you the first steps like really where you need to go, what you need to do if you need to get some advice around your relationship or new insights about it. It’s probably not what you’re thinking about. Yeah, get ready to be surprised. Hahaha.

Céline Remy 2:26
But before we get to dive in, let’s give a shout out to our sponsors. If you are ready to take your sex skills to the next level and join the secret club of men who are great in bed, then check out power and mastery. Whether you want to have harder stronger erections last longer or simply just take your sexual skills to the next level Power and Mastery has a course for you so you can go to powerandmastery.com to find it all.

Kevin Anthony 2:58
Alright, so Okay, so we’re telling you that you really shouldn’t go to your friends for relationship advice unless you’re lucky enough to have friends like us.

Céline Remy 3:09
You know, this is what we do when we meet for like dinner with friends. We just happen to be coaching them all the time. And yeah, it happens to be free coaching and it happens to be really good, and they feel transformed and uplifted, but that’s not most people.

Kevin Anthony 3:25
So let’s go and let’s dive in a little bit as to why maybe asking your friends isn’t the best idea out there.

Céline Remy 3:33
Okay, well, I think also, why do people first one to go to their friends, because, first of all, they thinking, Well, they’ve been around for a long time. They’ve known me through ups and downs. And sometimes you might even think that they’ll be able to get a different perspective. Or you might even think that your friends know you better than you know yourself. Which by the way should not happen but sometimes that’s the case.

Kevin Anthony 4:01
Yeah, I mean, there are legitimate reasons for wanting to go ask your friends. But that doesn’t necessarily mean that it’s always the best idea, right? So yeah, there’s, there are some legit reasons and you may be very tempted to do so. But we’re going to give you a few reasons why that may not necessarily be a good idea. So, so, you know, on the one hand, your friends may actually know you very well. But they may not know you as well as you think they do.

Céline Remy 4:34
Or they might just be projecting on you. Because that’s what most people do. They can’t really separate themselves from the other and usually, they can only see something through their own limited lenses. And they can only give you such a tiny piece of advice and most of the time, it’s something they need to hear from themselves and it’s more of a projection than anything.

Kevin Anthony 4:56
You know, the projection thing is a big problem these days, which is so what do we what are we talking about? When we say projection, what we’re really talking about is, you ask somebody for advice about your relationship. And what they start giving back to you is all the things about themselves and their own relationship or lack thereof. Right? So it’s not necessarily about you. And we see this a lot actually, we, we do a fair amount of group work, you know, where we do these group processes. And part of that process is somebody will get up and share.

Kevin Anthony 5:32
And then, once they’re done sharing, will ask if anybody wants to give them a reflection or what’s called a mirror. Some of you may have heard of Zeg forum before many of you probably haven’t, but this is a common practice that was created an intentional community called sec. Anyway, when people get up to do mirrors, the overwhelming majority of them go into their own story. They start talking Talking about, well, I know when I was in this relationship and I felt this way and I this and I that and I, right. It’s not supposed to be about them.

Kevin Anthony 6:11
It’s supposed to be about the other person. And I’m not just saying this about, you know, the forum type environment. But this is what a lot of your friends are going to end up doing. When you ask them for advice. They’re going to launch into their own relationships and how they felt and what is what they should have done. And this that, the other thing doesn’t mean that there won’t be any relevant bits in what they share. But watch, just be careful and make sure that they’re not projecting their stuff all over you.

Céline Remy 6:41
Okay, number two, well, your friends they likely bias towards your side of the story. And if that’s the case, you know, they’ll take your story which could also be that a story and tend to side by you and not always give you the best reflection because You know, sometimes when we tell a story will not look good, we want to appear more evolved than we are. And we’re like, well, we’re just going to share this way with our friends. So we don’t give them everything that they need.

Céline Remy 7:11
Or sometimes they love us so much that they just want to believe that we are sayings and that, therefore it has to be the other person’s problem and that there is nothing to do with you. So they can always give you really good feedback, if they come with that version of you where they can see that, hey, you might also be somewhat responsible for the situation that you

Kevin Anthony 7:34
really you mean it takes to? Well, yeah, and you know, the other thing is that they most likely have only heard your side of the story. Right? So your side of the story comes through your own lens, and now they’re hearing your side of the story through your lens and then it’s being filtered through their own lens and boy do you think to start getting cloudy with that? This

Céline Remy 7:57
is a tricky, tricky one. You know, oftentimes I try to hear both sides of the story. And I really take that into consideration when a friend comes and tell me this and that, and especially if it’s about somebody else, and I know that they in relationship with, I always take a step back and wonder, how does the other person feel what is happening for them? And if I have an opportunity, I will just ask them, Hey, how was that experience for you?

Céline Remy 8:27
And truly, like letting go of anything that I’ve heard from my friend just to be very curious, and what I’ve learned from working with couples because when I work with couples, I always interview them both separately. I get very different versions from her on her own and him on his own. So sometimes I make a story when I speak with one of them first. I’m like, oh, wow. Then I hear the reverse. And I’m like, Oh, this is so different.

Céline Remy 8:56
I’m glad that I keep that open mind because, at the beginning, I would already kine of think “I know it all.” And then I spoke with the other person. I was like, hold on, this was such a different version. So now I know that if you want to have the full picture, you need to have both versions

Kevin Anthony 9:11
and the truth lies somewhere in between, as always, right?

Céline Remy 9:14
Yes.

Kevin Anthony 9:15
That’s one of the things that’s great about when we work with couples is that like, we get them together? And then we take them separately, is actually, believe it or not, it’s the same thing that police do when they arrest a bunch of suspects are exactly what they do, right? They take them and they separate them in different rooms. And then they asked him the same questions and then they compare the answers. Right?

Céline Remy 9:36
How’d you know that Kevin

Kevin Anthony 9:38
I used to have a TV-like over a decade ago. Maybe they’ve changed their methods since then. I do still occasionally watch a movie here and they do do that movie. But side note, the best thing you can do in your life. Throw away your TV,

Céline Remy 9:55
especially if you want to have a better relationship or sex. Exactly. Well, two things Number one, you’re going to waste a lot of time on your TV. And number two, most of the advice that you get from TV is as bad as what your friends will tell you, or worse or worse. Yeah. Okay. Friends, well, a lot of them most likely don’t have great relationships themselves. So you going awesome for support, and you look at their relationship, and it’s not that great.

Kevin Anthony 10:23
So this is a classic, right? Because, you know, we see this so often and not just in relationship land. But you know, you see people who they want to start a business. And so they’re asking all their friends who’ve never actually run their own business for advice, and it’s like, wait a minute, what do they know about running a business? They’ve never even run one. They’ve always worked for somebody else. Right?

Kevin Anthony 10:47
So I think that and this is true of anything in life. If you want to achieve something, and you have examples of people who successfully achieved the thing that you want to achieve Go ask them, you’re not going to go ask your friend who’s tried seven different businesses and failed at everyone for business advice, you’re going to go find the friend who’s successful and ask him the same thing with your relationship.

Kevin Anthony 11:13
You might have the best friend ever. You’ve been friends since you were children, you have an amazing relationship. But they’ve had one failed relationship after another after another after another. And you might be tempted to ask them for advice because they’re such a good friend. But why they can’t keep a relationship either.

Céline Remy 11:32
One thing that I’ve noticed is that people are very quick to give you opinions like people love to give you their opinions and stuff. Even if they mean Well, it’s not always good. I think that’s two categories that you need to keep in mind when people want to give you their opinions, right? They can come out of love, which if you have great friends, that’s what should be but what happens when they come out of love is sometimes a little bit afraid to tell you what you really need to hear because Love you so much.

Céline Remy 12:01
They want to see you thrive and they don’t want to hurt you. And they know that if they say the hard things, it might hinder your relationship with them. And they don’t want to do paradise that this is true with your family as well. It’s true, especially, you know, it’s like,

Kevin Anthony 12:16
you want to talk to your mom for relationship advice, because she’s been married for 50 years, and that’s good. She’s got a good experience, okay, this you’re on the right track. And your mom sees you as a saint who can do no wrong. And you’re right, no matter what happens, and he’s always a terrible one. You know, it’s like, is that really going to be the best advice?

Céline Remy 12:36
It depends on the family because we were talking about that before we were recording and I was saying, I remember many examples from my family where they didn’t really like my boyfriends. And they were very upfront about this. And it wasn’t that I didn’t do anything wrong. They were like this is not a good match. And they were very vocal about letting me know that they did not approve or really like it.

Céline Remy 12:57
And there was a time to that where they really liked me know that they didn’t like who I was when I was waiting for him. So yeah, I guess maybe my family’s an odd one? I don’t know depends on your family. Right? Yeah.

Kevin Anthony 13:08
Well, turns out that they were correct.

Céline Remy 13:10
That’s true. I was like, man, I can’t really put them in that category.

Kevin Anthony 13:15
But I, you know, I would say in general, most people’s families are going to be a little bit biased. biased towards their own kids, right.

Céline Remy 13:24
Okay, so there’s the second category of your friends. So they can also come from a very jealous place or triggered place. And when they come from that place, and they’ll tend to try to sabotage you, and they have so much pain within themselves that they can’t help but just kind of spread. It’s like a disease. It’s like a virus and it’s like it goes everywhere. And you want to stay away from the strange. They might look at you with a big smile.

Céline Remy 13:52
They might tell you, no judgment at all of this is where you’re good. You must hear that and then you feel these little arrows pointing into you. You’re like, why do I not feel very good when they talk to me like what’s happening? This is a kind of friend that comes from jealousy rather than love.

Kevin Anthony 14:07
Yeah, so what we said the other day, I’m not judging you. But here are all the ways in which I’m judging you. Well, and the other thing is, too, is that what can happen sometimes in these situations is that the friend can’t have hasn’t managed or figured out a way yet to have a lasting quality good relationship. And so you know, as they always say, misery loves company, it’s like, they kind of want to drag you down into that same place, or they’re afraid that if you actually have a thriving, successful relationship, that you’re going to disappear because you’re going to be busy in your relationship all the time. So that’s always something to watch for is whether or not their advice is sort of coming from a place of jealousy,

Céline Remy 14:50
or love, or love. Okay, so how about we dive into the different types of friends that you might have because might help you know that might be good. Like we said earlier use discernment. Not all friends are bad, not all friends are good and their strengths for every type of things. So why don’t you let us know Kevin about some of the different types of friends that you can have?

Kevin Anthony 15:15
Okay, there’s a lot of different names we kind of just gave them our own names like what came up for us. What we thought would be a good name or description for these but you’ve probably heard them referred to from other names. The first one is the delusional one that constantly singles, jaded by love. So this is the person who Yeah, we say delusional because don’t really have a good grasp of reality when it comes to relationships. And they have a very biased point of view based on their own lack of success. Let’s put it

Céline Remy 15:55
It might be great. Let’s say you just got through a breakup and You just want to feel good about yourself. And just like they can come in and say, Yes, all men are pigs, you know, like this type of thing that you may want to hear few women, which by the way is totally wrong. But these are just ideas. So that might be the one friend that will show up and be like, really happy to go down that rabbit hole of blaming the other person, then average gender for all the miseries that you are both experiencing. I don’t think it’s worth spending time there. But some people like that, so that would be the friend for that, but not the friend for the advice.

Kevin Anthony 16:30
Find somebody that uplifts you, and that’s somebody that drags you deeper down into the hole.

Céline Remy 16:34
Mm-hmm.

Kevin Anthony 16:35
Alright, the next one, the selfish friend and this kind of what we were just talking about with the jealousy, this is the person who’s going to give you advice based on their own agenda. And their own agenda might be they want to spend more time with you, or they want their partner in crime, who goes out to all the singles bars with them, and they’re afraid that, you know, if you actually have a thriving, successful relationship, they’re not going to have that person anymore.

Céline Remy 16:59
So many things. Or, yeah, I mean, the selfish one can be also showing up as not really being able to give you empathy where in any way you come and always ends up being about them rather than being about you. I’m sure you know what I’m talking about. managed to make it all about them even though he came there for advice or for support, it ended up that you ended up canceling them or helping them or whatever it was, even though it was like a totally different intention.

Kevin Anthony 17:32
All right, next, we have the good meaning friend always agrees and doesn’t want to make waves. So this is another example that we kind of talked about earlier, which is somebody that you know, maybe it’s coming from a good intention, you know, they love you, they want to support you, but they don’t tell you the things that you really need to hear. Because, you know, this is stuff we want to hear. We want to hear. It’s not our fault. We want to hear that we did everything right.

Kevin Anthony 17:59
We want to hear that it was all the other person. But the reality is that’s never really the case. Right? And so sometimes we need to hear certain things. And if the people around us who we trust and we love are not able to tell us those things, then we’re missing out on a chance to see things as they really are and grow and change as a result of that. So the balance is finding friends who are willing to tell you what they need to tell you and but also do it in a way that is compassionate.

Céline Remy 18:34
Mm-hmm. Absolutely. Okay, and the last type of friend we named it the over-thinker, one and that’s the one who, where everything needs to be processed. It comes with a lot of excellent drama is just like heaviness and it’s processing. Let’s go through the shadow work. Let’s look at that and let’s overcomplicate things that should be so easy. Because you know if it is simple it can’t work like this, you know if we haven’t gone through the depth of like, like going through this like muggy things and it means we’re not really intimate.

Céline Remy 19:10
And the over-thinker friend does not come in handy what you want to just be able to have a different view on your relationship because I think when you tend to go down that rabbit roll road of the overthinking and processing, you get lost.

Kevin Anthony 19:27
Yeah. And before anybody complains and yells at us that Shadow Work is deeply important. We’re not saying that shadow work isn’t important. Yes, get in touch with your shadow side, do the work, have your dark night of the soul process what you need to process but then move on. And the problem that we’re talking about here is the people that always want to drag you down into that dark world and stay there. Right, and you have to go there, do what you have to do and move on. By the way, the work of the Selena and I do.

Kevin Anthony 20:01
And again, there’s nothing wrong with doing shadow work, and we’ve done tons of it. But we like to come from what we kind of call the light side. You know, in other words, not all, deep work has to come from pain and misery and trudging through the darkness you can actually learn and grow through happiness and joy and the lighter side to pleasure and that kind of stuff. there’s value in both of those. So you do the deep shadow work when you have to and when you don’t have to, you try to learn through more positive, uplifting experiences.

Céline Remy 20:37
I have noticed though, that when you start to shift that and you realize that you don’t have to go through pain in order to grow but that you can see growth through pleasure. It changes how you attract things in your life and it changes the tolerance level that you have for the heavy things, and you don’t need it as much once you start to realize that you can have the same amount of growth but in a way that it’s not as heavy and painful.

Céline Remy 21:06
Why would you go for the heavy and painful you start to, to seek those other things. And what’s amazing is once you realize that you can start to grow and evolve and it can be pleasurable at the same time. It’s like a totally new Wow, that opens up.

Kevin Anthony 21:22
Okay, so we’re going to drop a big truth bomb right here.

Céline Remy 21:26
Are you ready?

Kevin Anthony 21:27
It was one of my favorite things to do. Okay, so some of you may or may not like this, but I’m going to say it anyway. There is this idea that in order to make progress or move on or change in your life, you’ve got to go all the way back to be you know, when you were first conceived, and trudged through every last event that happened from You know, something that happened when you were in your mother’s womb to how you may have been abused when you were a kid and spent years, maybe even decades of your life, going through your childhood to figure out why things are the way they are in your adulthood.

Kevin Anthony 22:16
This is basically like the Freud method of, you know, trying to figure out you know, how to heal yourself. Now, I’m not saying that there isn’t value in understanding how you got to where you are, because there is some value in that right. Knowing what factors contributed, you know, to it, there’s some value in that and at the same time, once you’ve kind of figured that all out, here comes the truth bomb. So what? So fucking what, huh, right?

Kevin Anthony 22:46
So this idea that, well, I’m this way, because when I was a child, you know, this is what happened to me. It’s like, okay, so yes, that contributed to it. And now that you’re aware of it, you can change it. It doesn’t have to dictate your life from this point on and there isn’t actually even that much value in spending years of therapy, talking about when you were a kid, identify it, figure out what happened, figure out how to let go of it and move on.

Céline Remy 23:12
And big news is not the only one I everyone can find trauma in their life. Everyone has wounds have things that have happened to them, through them, for them against them, whatever you want to say that. But we’ve all had very difficult moments. And we’ve all had beautiful moments. So it doesn’t make you special to see yourself as a victim or to see yourself as a survivor of trauma. Actually, most of the time, what I see is that people put themselves in a box with those labels and they’re unable to move forward in their lives.

Céline Remy 23:46
In the work that we do we focus on not so much the story and we always say that to our clients. We’re like, we don’t really care about your story. I mean, because what I hear is when people come in with their story that like this is my story. Mine, my it’s all like the appropriate and attached to.

Kevin Anthony 24:02
it becomes part of who they are. Absolutely.

Céline Remy 24:05
And that’s what limits them. And if we start to ask the question, is this really true? Is that really true? Does that really matter? Is that real anymore? Is that serving you and they go, like, don’t really know, and they can’t find who they are anymore without that identity piece that they’ve kept on for so long. And so what’s amazing is that it’s super easy to change who you are and how you’re showing up. Because if you don’t like something about yourself, you just change it. And it’s okay to reinvent yourself every time every day.

Céline Remy 24:38
You don’t have to let the past define who you are in the present. And you create the future with who you are in the present. And this is really important when it comes to a relationship because we’ve all had relationship failures. We’ve all had a great relationship not so good relationships, and it doesn’t mean that we can’t have a thriving relationship. It just means that we had great lessons we learned things will learn things about ourselves about how we cope, how we do things.

Céline Remy 25:02
And then we can do things differently and better. You want to change your relationship, you want to change the beginning of the relationship, you don’t want to change the end of it, you’re not going to always choose the same verse and then think, oh, in that, I’ll be able to change them and I have a different ending. Change the beginning go four different people go from a different situation. And this is how you’re going to have a more thriving relationship in your life.

Kevin Anthony 25:25
Phew, yeah.

Céline Remy 25:27
I was on a rant there!

Kevin Anthony 25:30
You just got all Eckert totally on there. Which is the power of now because the past doesn’t exist. It’s over the future hasn’t happened yet. And all you have is right now, of course, we’re not going to talk about project Looking Glass. For all intents and purposes now is all you got.

Céline Remy 25:53
So since we’re talking about the now so now you know that if you can trust all these people, those are these friends then we’re He goes, you need relationship advice?

Kevin Anthony 26:03
yes, we spend all this time talking about what not to do we want to leave you with what you should do. Right? Because we’re, we’re trying to help you here.

Céline Remy 26:11
Always ending on the positive here.

Kevin Anthony 26:14
Okay, so the first one is checking with yourself. And here’s a, here’s the thing a lot of people don’t do, they don’t really pay attention to the signs that their own body is giving them. You know, like you have this saying all the time, the issues get stuck in the tissues, right. And we actually know this from science, that emotions can be literally stored in the physical body in many places. And the point is, is that there will be signs there will be things that your body is telling you, you can feel them physically, but you gotta pay attention to them.

Céline Remy 26:47
And so, a lot of people think that love is something on the outside or something that somebody else gives to you but it really comes from within and allows is about feeling good love is about really yourself and who you are when you are with that person. If you don’t love who you are in the relationship, then you are not with the right person you are not with the person for you. Love is about loving yourself exactly as you are doesn’t mean you will not want to change things, you know because we always evolving, but ultimately, it has to feel good when you are with that person.

Céline Remy 27:29
So pay attention if you want relationship advice. Are you stuck in your head overthinking just because he said she said something? Are you do you feel inside yourself? Something’s not right, and you don’t like who you are?

Kevin Anthony 27:42
Well, and how many times have we had clients tell us? Well, if I’m really honest, I knew from the beginning. I mean, how if I had a nickel for every time somebody said that, like really? Well, I kind of knew at the beginning that it wasn’t quite Blah, blah. I mean, that’s just listening to yourself. Right? So if you knew that in the beginning, how did you end up four years down the road? So, you know, check-in with yourself. There’s a lot that you can learn just by doing that, like getting really comfortable with feeling yourself and listening to you.

Céline Remy 28:20
And how do you do that? Take five, take five minutes every day to close your eyes and look within for the answer. Most of the time we look outside so we’ll seek out our friend’s real look on TV will google it or whatever that is. But stop always going out and start to tune in and let the answer comes from within and sit for five minutes. It’s nothing and does this every day until you get some clarity.

Kevin Anthony 28:49
Alright, so start with yourself. Great place to start. Next is find friends or people who already have what you want to create. So we kind of talked about this before, but go find the people in your life who have long-lasting happy, successful relationships and ask them, How do you do it? How have you gotten here? What is your secret? Please, please tell me.

Céline Remy 29:15
Absolutely. So see, we’re not telling you you can ask your friends but ask the right friends. Ask those who have that which you want. Ask those who model which you want to become. Because that’s the quickest way surround yourself with people who inspire you to surround yourself with people who uplift you. If you’re single, you can’t have just single friends, make friends with couples, make friends with people in relationships, whatever it is, like have this type of people around you because then this is the energy that you will attract in your life.

Kevin Anthony 29:49
Yeah, and cross-reference whatever they tell you with what you’ve already felt from within. Right? Because what worked for them may not necessarily work for you. You’ve got a different situation, you’re a different person than they are. It’s a great starting place. Okay? It was successful. So that’s a good place to start, especially if you don’t have any better ideas. But then, of course, cross-reference it with how you feel and see if it really resonates with you.

Céline Remy 30:14
Mm-hmm. And seek out the advice of a professional, someone who specializes in relationship and you try to find somebody with multiple years of experience, not just somebody who just started yesterday, not just somebody who’s in a new relationship energy and so, you know, they’re seeing the world through their tinted glasses, because hey, it’s so different at the beginning.

Céline Remy 30:37
You want to look for people who are walking that talk, and independently of what therapy or support system you see, where are you seeking a therapist, a coach, a sex coach, a relationship coach, whatever certified in this or that like find somebody who resonates with you. Find somebody who you feel comfortable around and find somebody who has what you want, and who has been doing it for a long time, because, as you know, and we always say, it takes seven years to become a master at something.

Céline Remy 31:11
So seek out people who have been doing it for a long time. because trust me, there is a big difference when you’re just starting out your practice versus when you’ve been in it for multiple years, they can have better wisdom to bring to you.

Kevin Anthony 31:26
For sure, they can have better wisdom. And one of the other beautiful things about seeking out a professional who’s somebody that doesn’t really know you didn’t have any of the biases that we talked about earlier. So all that stuff just goes out the window, they’re going to see things from a neutral third party point of view, if they’re good at what they do, that’s how they’re going to, they’re going to do it and then they’re going to have the tools and the experience to help guide you through that. And if they’re good, they’re also going to be able to tell you the things that you need to hear.

Céline Remy 31:54
And that’s what I was going to add I was like if you work with given an eye, we hold nothing back. We tell you the good, the bad. And we just tell you what you need to hear. This is the type of coach that we are, we don’t hold back. And even if it’s a little painful for you to hear, right, we will tell it to you will say gently and nicely.

Kevin Anthony 32:12
Believe it or not, they’re actually there really are coaches out there who just try to pump you up all the time and tell you everything’s gonna be awesome. And you’ve got it, you can do it and blah, blah, blah, which there’s some value in trying to help somebody self-esteem so that they have the courage to do what they need to do.

Kevin Anthony 32:28
And at the same time, it’s not always realistic, right? You telling somebody who’s completely unprepared for a situation that they’ve got it covered? It’s like, it’s like telling somebody that’s never flown a plane they get in the cockpit. It’s like you got it. Don’t worry, you totally no problem. You read that book, like this is easy for you until they crash, right?

Céline Remy 32:48
So anyway, we know that you’re seeking the right advice is because you’re listening to the love lab podcast. So we want to applaud you for that. Continue doing this. Get your sources from good places and we are one of them. But ultimately, remember, bring it back to you. Because you are always your own authority for yourself. Forgive yourself permission to listen to yourself. stop doubting when something doesn’t feel right when something doesn’t feel good. check-in with yourself, get clear and then take action. And that’s how you will change and shift things in your relationship for the better.

Kevin Anthony 33:27
Absolutely. So 2020 you already decided last week when you listen to our show that 2020 was going to be your best year ever for relationship. So as part of that, if you need help you need advice. Now you know who to go find to help you make 2020 the start of the best relationship of your entire lifetime.

Céline Remy 33:50
And even if we passed 2020, because hey, this podcast lasts forever. Anytime is a good time to start, any day. Start now!

Kevin Anthony 33:58
That’s, you know the answer right? What’s the best time to start?

Céline Remy 34:03
Now

Kevin Anthony 34:04
Now.

Céline Remy 34:06
Do it.

Kevin Anthony 34:08
Alright, everybody, that’s all for this episode and we will see you next week. We hope you liked this episode of the love lab podcast. If you enjoyed this show, leave a comment and share it with your friends.

Céline Remy 34:24
And if you want more, we have an entire digital library with the best sex tips and Relationship Advice at CelineRemy.com. That’s celinemy.com So join us in the sex vault to continue this adventure.

Kevin Anthony 34:41
Thanks for listening,

Céline Remy 34:42
and remember, you’re amazing.