Our Listeners Questions – Painful Sex, Orgasm and Turning Her On?

Kevin Anthony 0:12
Welcome to the love lab podcast a safe place to get real about sex. Whether you’re a man, woman, single or couple, this is the show for you. Because well, sex matters. We are your hosts Kevin Anthony and Céline Remy. Welcome back to the love lab podcast. This is Episode 63. And it is “Our listeners questions answered painful sex, orgasm and turning her on”.We’ve got a lot to cover in this episode.

Céline Remy 0:43
Yes. And first of all, want to thank you for reaching out. We love receiving your questions. And just a little reminder to that this is always our opinions, and that it’s in no way shape, or form medical advice or anything like this. But it’s to help you as a first step to find some solutions so you can have a more thriving sex life.

Céline Remy 1:08
Before we dive into the questions, let’s say a big thank you to our sponsor. And this episode is brought to you by power and mastery, the most complete sexual training for men to develop your stamina, boost your confidence and enhance your sexual abilities. You can check out all about power and mastery at powerandmastery.com if you’re ready to seriously change your sex life.

Kevin Anthony 1:34
Alright, so let’s dive into the first question. And the first question. Who does it come from?

Céline Remy 1:41
It comes from our concerned friend.

Kevin Anthony 1:44
Great. Do you want to take the first one?

Céline Remy 1:49
So our concerned friend says: “hi there love lab. I’m a new listener and I just started your podcast which I found through Pinterest, and I love it. Yeah. Thank you, you. And so I tried to look for the episode to find a quite an answer to this topic. And I’m hoping you’re going to cover this in an episode. So here’s what happened. I had an abortion when I was younger.

Since then, for years ago, then I’ve had hypersensitivity in my vulva, and I’ve been formally diagnosed with vulvodynia. I’ve also been in a relationship with my partner since and before that, our sex life has drastically reduced mostly due to the fact that penetration hurts me to the point where I cry. I’m aroused. I’m feeling horny.

Céline Remy 2:35
But I have conditioned my brain to associate sex with pain. So I find my on the beat or decreasing and I am attracted to my partner. But I don’t feel like sex is good for me, no matter how good he is, because it hurts. I want to be able to pleasure him. But I also want him to be able to pleasure me. Do you have any tips? What can I do? Get? What can we when it comes to painful sex?”

Kevin Anthony 3:03
Okay, yes. So we do have some tips, the first thing we want to say is, you know, we understand what you’re going through, and that it’s never fun when sex is painful, especially when your partner has needs and wants to engage with you. And you just can’t. So we absolutely understand that.

Céline Remy 3:27
And we really also want to say like why kudos to you for being willing to try something even though it hurts like when I read like, hey, even do like it makes me cry because it’s so painful. I can only imagine just the discomfort in the body. So we’re glad that you are reaching out and trying to look for solutions.

Kevin Anthony 3:45
Absolutely. So let’s kind of dive into it and dissect it a little bit. The first thing is, you’ve been given this diagnosis of Virginia, right? You know, vulvodynia is defined is chronic vulvar pain with no known cause. Now I look this up because I was not very familiar with this condition, this thing had more experience with it than I did. And straight off-Web MD. They’re saying no known cause. So what I hear when I read that is who this sounds a lot like one of those labels that they give things when they don’t understand what it is, like, say Fibromyalgia or something like that.

Kevin Anthony 4:25
Now, that doesn’t mean that it doesn’t exist. And that doesn’t mean that you aren’t feeling the pain. What I’m saying is, is that it’s something that doctors don’t understand. They don’t know what’s causing it, they don’t know what to do about it. So they just give it this generic label. Now, they do list several physical things that could be causing it like nerve damage, chronic irritation, muscle spasms, things like that. So if that’s the case, if it’s a physical sort of nuts and bolts kind of thing, well, then the doctors pretty much know how to deal with that.

Kevin Anthony 5:01
And they can help you with the sort of nuts and bolts they can help you if there’s nerve damage or, you know, muscle issues. So the first my first suggestion is to see whether or not there is actually anything physically wrong. And that’s something that your doctor could definitely help you with. But if the doctor comes back and says, Well, we can’t actually really find anything wrong. Well, well, what comes in for me when I read your question is that you possibly have unresolved trauma in relation to the abortion that you have.

Kevin Anthony 5:40
So my personal recommendation is to kind of dig into that and to do the inner personal work and to find out where you might be holding on to some pain, like emotional pain, that is then manifesting as physical pain. And I think it’s important to say to that, you know, when I say emotional pain, I’m not disregarding the fact that you are actually feeling physical pain. Because emotional pain absolutely can manifest in the body as real physical pain. Without a doubt. One of the things that Celine says all the time is, is your issues get stuck in the tissues, right?

Céline Remy 6:14
Absolutely. And having an abortion definitely is an invasive procedure. And there’s a lot of things when we’re talking having an abortion, about feeling comfortable with the emotional part of having to terminate a pregnancy, of being invaded with like, I don’t know how late that was. But it’s definitely a very invasive procedure. And one of the things too is to say, yeah, there’s some real things that could have happened, things that could have been damaged, or simply the fact that it was an invasive procedure.

Céline Remy 6:50
Now you’re stuck with the memories of that that are in your vagina in your tissue. It’s very real, and you want to work also. So on a physical plane with that. The first thing that comes up for me is that you have to stop wanting to do the same sex that you did before. Okay, so maybe sex worked a certain way for you before. Okay, this was my formula, this was my recipe, I added a little bit of this and that, and that came out as the most beautiful sex ever. Now it’s like, I want to invite you to become more curious about what does my body need and require. And I want you to really take a stand for yourself in terms of your self-love and self-care, you’ve been pushing through pain and discomfort.

Céline Remy 7:43
Even though it is brave, it’s not helping your body. If you have a cut, and you constantly put your finger into the salty water, it’s not going to feel good. So what needs to happen is to take a step back and start doing different things and want to know it to find what feels good. How different gets sex look like and be like for a while, maybe if I were to take penetration out of the equation. Would oral sex feel good? Would massage just on the outside for good? Or would fingering feel good?

Céline Remy 8:20
Is there any inside penetration with different sizes of tours of fingers? Or no penetration at all? Do I need really long foreplay? Is there maybe do you need to use a loop, and I don’t quite recommend some of the recommendations that doctors do is to put to use a numbing cream. And I personally think it’s kind of like a bandaid. It’s not fixing the problem is like yeah, this makes you numb so you can tolerate the penetration. And I’m like, this doesn’t feel good to me.

Kevin Anthony 8:55
It doesn’t solve anything. And you’ll continue to have the problem if that’s the right you go.

Céline Remy 9:00
Yeah, so. And, like, you gotta have a holistic approach that starts to heal all these underlying layers of the emotional pain and the physical pain. So you need to start changing how you do sex, how you approach it as conversations. Your body is always knowing a lot of things. And sometimes you know, we have an episode on “Your vagina is talking to you are you listening? This is similar to your body is talking to you, your vagina is talking to you. Maybe you’re like, yeah, I want this. But the might be resentments towards your partner.

Céline Remy 9:39
Like if somebody penetrates you and hurts you, I’m pretty sure that there’s some resentment that’s being built up, even if you don’t want to, but there’s something that comes up there. So you guys need to start to change how you approach that, I would recommend working with a professional who can help you speak to one another because this is a very sensitive subject. That means that it’s painful physically for you emotionally, and it’s painful for him too. And I’m sure Kevin can speak more into that. But as a guy, if you know that when you penetrating your woman she’s hurting. You may not feel very enthusiastic about continuing the penetration.

Kevin Anthony 10:18
Yeah, I mean, absolutely not. I mean, from a guy’s point of view, even if she’s not enjoying it, and it’s not painful, like even if she’s just not into it, I’m just like, Well, why are we doing this if you’re not into it, and we’re not having a good time. But even more, so if it’s painful because the last thing we want to do is actually hurt you.

Céline Remy 10:37
Then I would love to invite you to explore the vaginal massage and Yoni mapping there are different names for that. Really, it’s about releasing the trauma from directly from your pelvic floor. It’s a very slow approach. This is something that professionals can offer people like me do that. We also teach men how to do that, in our course, sexual mastery, which you can find on powerandmastery.com/sexual-mastery.

Céline Remy 11:15
We teach you, we teach the man how to do this for women how to hold space for that healing that happens through the vaginal massage. So if that’s something that your partner is curious about learning and getting guidance from, you can do this course, or you can work directly with us or somebody else because we’re not the only ones. But I think working hands-on in a very gentle, holistic approach. I’m not a big fan of sticking down leaders of things inside to make you like, relaxing muscle more and like for something. We talking, bringing in, like 10 X amount of care, and gentleness and love that we give to your pussy at this moment,

Kevin Anthony 12:01
Trying to force something to relax never works. You can’t force something to relax forces, what created it to be tense in that, to begin with? So

Céline Remy 12:10
yeah, so I hope that these will help you. And so remember that there’s more to it than the physical, the emotional, there are different layers here that need to be addressed. There’s dealing with the physicality of it and changing how you do sex. And there’s also integrating a holistic approach and integrating that, you know, massage, also to help and do this as teamwork. But there’s also a lot of it that is your own thing to deal with.

Céline Remy 12:41
Before we move to the next question, I wanted to add that, oftentimes, it’s an opportunity for you also to start to accept who you are on a much deeper level, and be okay with where you’re at. And really, totally love and accept yourself as you are. And that can be part of the healing and itself. That there’s nothing wrong with you don’t have to change things. You just accept what you are and go from there. And that’s your first step.

Kevin Anthony 13:10
Yeah. And I would add to that, except where you are, and accept where you’ve been. Yeah. Right. Like you can’t change the past. Stuff happens, decisions have to be made. You are where you are now. You just have to be okay with that.

Céline Remy 13:27
Yeah. And once you get in alignment with all the different part of yourself, which I call you free minds, you head, your heart and your sex and you become congruent. That’s when you are in alignment. That’s when things are working properly. When things are all over the place and your head is in one way Your heart is in another direction and you set in another direction. Nothing can be congruent and feel good. So, align all of these.

Kevin Anthony 13:55
All right, our concerned friend, we hope that was helpful. Move on to question number two, and this is in regards to orgasms.

Céline Remy 14:04
And it is from Karyn.

Kevin Anthony 14:05
It is from Karyn.

Kevin Anthony 14:07
Karyn says I’m slowly making my way through your podcasts which are fabulous. Thank you, Karyn. I’m not sure how to explain this. So it makes sense. However, society seems to say that orgasm for women is this great rush and squealing euphoric time. My question I’m 52 Is it normal to enjoy the entire journey from kissing, touching intercourse be very wet and love it, however not end up faking being a squealing puddle of orgasm afterward. I have not had children. And I’m told I’m tight. with beautiful posts you control. I have a very high sex drive and due to my witness can go for long periods of time enjoying sex or intimacy.

Kevin Anthony 14:51
When I was younger, I was taught sex and touching was bad by my mother. I was also touched wrongly by a doctor for three years from 13 to six. I’m widowed so I say to men as I have been experimenting, but they say it’s unusual, but nice to meet a woman who is naturally ready and very wet but also unusual that I don’t seem to orgasm. I don’t see the point in faking. And it’s not like I don’t enjoy every moment. I hope this makes sense. Yes, it does make sense, Karen, and we have some good advice for you.

Céline Remy 15:28
First of all, orgasms come in all shape and form. And I think it’s very important because that is definitely something that I talk about a lot with my female clients or in my programs for women too because again, we have a model that’s being shown, we studied the male orgasm is intensively and then we don’t know much about the female orgasm, or the expression of orgasms. I think that the only person who is an expert on your orgasms is you. So you need to find out for yourself what an orgasm feels like.

Céline Remy 16:03
My expressions of fire orgasms vary greatly. It can be anywhere from a little tingle. And throughout my whole body or where I feel energized. It could be where I burst into laughter or are crying because there are some emotional things that are stuck there. It can be that my body is convulsing, and maybe closer to what you’re talking about that place of like that euphoric portal like, or it could be like a full-on female ejaculation. And I can control it. I mean, there are so many variations.

Céline Remy 16:41
Now what I have learned over the years, and I think that’s the beauty of aging is I think that sex gets better and we know our bodies more and better. What I have learned is that there is not one orgasm that’s better than the other. And that I celebrate every expression of my orgasm. Awesome. I also want to congratulate you for not faking orgasms, by the way.

Kevin Anthony 17:04
Yeah. faking orgasms does nobody any good, not you, not him? Nobody.

Céline Remy 17:13
No, it doesn’t. And I think to be real, you know, it’s like, I mean, it’s the same like here my normal everybody else is laughing. But I don’t find this funny. So I’m not laughing. Yes, you are, you know, it’s your experience. And the fact that you enjoy things, your body is enjoying it, and you were there is no pain or discomfort. Sex feels good as sex is something you look forward to, then it’s all good. And really like that, like Kevin was saying, when we were prepping for this episode, he said, as long as you’re enjoying the sex, it doesn’t matter.

Kevin Anthony 17:45
Exactly. And so, yeah, we talked to actually a lot about this in our episode about porn, that is porn, helping or hurting your relationship. And one of the potential downsides of porn is that everybody looks and goes, Oh, that’s what sex is supposed to look like. Like,

Céline Remy 18:00
they’re supposed to make this face. And as a woman, I’m supposed to arched in pleasure.

Kevin Anthony 18:04
I should be screaming at the top of my lungs from beginning to end, right? And that’s what that’s the danger of porn is that it sets these unrealistic expectations of what sex is supposed to be. I mean, and you know, if you listened to that episode, we make it very clear. porn, sex really is not like real sex. Like, maybe occasionally your real sex looks like that. But for the most part, it’s probably very different than what you see in porn.

Kevin Anthony 18:30
And so the idea of just being like, don’t get attached to your orgasms having to be any particular way, or that there even has to be an orgasm. tantric sex, in particular, is not at all focused on having an orgasm. It’s the journey. It’s the experience through it’s the waves of pleasure whether or not you ever have any sort of orgasm.

Kevin Anthony 18:53
I think as the men who are involved with you, they need to understand that the goal of the sax is not orgasm, right? So we’re like, we’re men, we’re, we’re very goal-oriented. We’re focused, we’re going to get shit done. Right? Like we’re gonna get her done. Yeah, that’s right. I got her done. Yeah, for orgasm, right? Like, because we’re goal-oriented. But the problem is, that’s not what it’s about.

Kevin Anthony 19:22
So the men have to understand that just because you may not have had some big crazy orgasm, during the sex doesn’t mean that you didn’t love the sex, it doesn’t mean that they were in any way bad in bed, which is how a lot of men will take it like, Oh, God, she thinks I’m terrible in bed because we had sex and she didn’t have an orgasm. Like, trust me, the orgasms are really all about her.

It’s her body, it’s her orgasm, you could be the greatest lover in the world. And if she’s not willing to go, they’re not capable of going that it’s not going to happen, right? So don’t hold your personal worth as a man and your ability as a lover. Don’t tie it to whether or not she has an orgasm, or how many orgasms she has.

Céline Remy 20:02
And so that’s a conversation you need to have with the men that you’re having sex with, like before, just to explain, you know, and how sex feels for you, like, clue the men like this is how good it feels. This is what I experience. For me, an orgasm looks like this. And to me, I’m fine. I’m fine to be like having long periods of sex or like be having sex for like an hour, two hours, three hours and then when I’m complete I’m complete. The completion is not an ejaculation, or me bursting into this orgasm. As a matter of fact, that’s most of the sex that we have. where, you know, sometimes I would say like, yeah, it felt a little bit more flat for me, where it’s not like, I went into this high roller coasters and up and down.

Céline Remy 20:45
But it was so very nourishing to my heart and my body and increase my connection with my husband. So I’m like, Yes, this is amazing. And what I love is that Kevin never pressures me to have an orgasm that has to look a certain way. So even if I had like a screaming orgasm with ejaculation the day before. Next time we have sex is not like all this is what’s coming. This is how she needs to make it happen. And if I’m just having one of those days, where it just feels delicious. And I’m just like, I know, more inward and savoring, and it just feels like tingly throughout my body. He’ll be just as happy.

Kevin Anthony 21:22
Absolutely. I mean, ultimately, all that’s really important for me is that you’re enjoying it and that we’re, we’re enjoying this connection that we’re having. It doesn’t have to show up any particular way.

Céline Remy 21:33
So I have a question for you here. Karyn is like, how do you orgasms show up for you when you’re by yourself? You know, is there a difference?

Kevin Anthony 21:41
That’s a good question.

Céline Remy 21:43
Uh-huh. Because then, then depending on if you like, when I’m by myself, I can experience this or that and like, I want to encourage you to really let go, but not fake it. But what does your body like? How is your body when it’s a tremendous amount of pleasure reacting? You know, and maybe you can get there for sex, maybe you can get there through dancing or something else, you know, because hey, that’s the beauty of being a woman at for me, I can get turned on by so many different things. And it’s not just sexual for me to experience sexual energy and orgasms in my body.

Céline Remy 22:21
So how do you experience orgasms and real like great physical pleasure when you by yourself? Can you give yourself permission to fully let go and feel everything? And is there a difference when you are with somebody? And if there is, what can you do to being able to feel safe enough to let go fully and be vulnerable with that person?

Kevin Anthony 22:42
Yeah. And so this, this is somewhat similar to our first question, in the sense that if you’re really not having orgasms, and you’re in, you’re just not getting there, but you want to the question to always ask is, what’s in the way? what’s preventing that from happening? because something is preventing it from happening. And so the question I would ask is, you know, what’s going on in your mind that might be in the way of you fully expressing that orgasm in the many different ways that it could potentially be expressed?

Céline Remy 23:19
And then remember too that orgasms feel very different depending on which ones they are? A clitoral orgasm is going to be much more explosive than a much more internal like G spot area or cervical orgasms that are deeper, the spasms feel different and it’s very different how they can show up. So are we talking here about just a clitoral orgasm? Are we talking about? Not stimulating the clitoris and having internal penetration? Have you tried a combination of adding colors with penetration? There’s a lot of things.

Céline Remy 23:52
And if you feel 100% satisfied with how you feel after sex, that is perfectly fine. There is no way you have to or something you have to reach just be fine with that. So really, it’s all about you. It’s about your experience, how much you enjoy it. If you want to explore more about what else is possible, then we encourage you to do so. Listen to our episodes with y’all. orgasm unleashed. And he’s got like really good things. We talked about good ways of like, Yeah, what does an orgasm and going from an external orgasm to an internal orgasm and be on this quest? To explore the many flavors of your orgasms?

Kevin Anthony 24:35
Oh, yeah. I think there’s more than 32 of them.

Céline Remy 24:41
All right. Let’s move on to our first question here. This question comes from HJ and HJ said, Hi there, what works for others does not seem to work for my wife. Although she tells me every day she loves me It is as if she isn’t easily turned on. I’m really getting frustrated. She shows love by doing the normal things that wife does, but not the way I would like her to do. She has said things before as she loves me, but she’s not in love with me.

Céline Remy 25:12
She never initiates sex from her own side, I must always make the first move. And that is really not very encouraging. It is painful that she would never do something. It’s exciting from her side, making me feel undesirable. I have sent her articles and hence as to what she could do. She promises to do so but never does. She’s a really wonderful woman with a lot of good attributes. I love her a lot. But on the sexual side, she frustrates me. What can I do?

Kevin Anthony 25:44
Okay, whoa, there’s a lot of things here. The first one that came up for me when I was reading this question as he said, she shows you love by doing the things that normal wife does, but not the way that you would like her to. So right away what I hear is love languages, right? So she’s expressing love, but she’s expressing love maybe in her own love language, or in some other love language that she might think is yours, but isn’t actually yours.

Kevin Anthony 26:13
So my first suggestion is to go to the four love languages. And take the test.

Céline Remy 26:20
The five.

Kevin Anthony 26:21
Sorry, five Love Languages really talked about that on this show like 20 times and I 60 something episodes, you think I’d remember the number of I’m sorry. There’s a reason I made that mistake. Actually, it’s because one of our guests and good friends has a company called the four answers. Similar to the four love life, I mean, the five love languages.

Céline Remy 26:46
They are five languages are words of appreciation or affirmation, gifts, quality time, acts of service. Oh my goodness. There’s one more.

Kevin Anthony 27:00
I was even going to go there because we didn’t prep that. So anyway, the point is this is that go find out what your love languages have a conversation between the two of you and see if it’s possible for you to speak each other’s love language. For instance, if yours is touch, which is very well made, but

Céline Remy 27:20
Touch! That’s it number five.

Kevin Anthony 27:24
There you go! So yours is touch right. And hers is acts of service. Well, there could be some overlap there. But maybe she’s you know, making great meals and packing your lunch before you go to work and doing all that kind of stuff she’s showing you love but you’re over there. God, I wish you just fucking touch me.

Céline Remy 27:40
Exactly. So it’s not landing, it’s like you speak different languages. So that’s the first step is to check out your love language. Go to the Five Love Languages take the test, and it can tell you which one you are. Then you have to have a conversation and make an agreement together that you are both going to speak each other’s language on a daily basis just to say just to try it out. And you have to be willing to speak the other person’s language, even if it’s not yours.

Céline Remy 28:06
And that’s where it becomes tricky, because people are like, well, but I don’t really like to do the touch because it’s not my thing. It’s like, nobody cares. It’s his thing or her thing. If you love your partner, your wife, your husband, then you just gonna do what it takes to speak their love language.

Kevin Anthony 28:24
Yes. Now the second thing, this was kind of thing that jumped out at me on the text was, you wrote, she has said things before, like, she loves me, but she’s not in love with me. Mm-hmm. You know, there actually is quite a big difference between those two things. Yes, you can love your cat, you can even love your car, but you’re not in love with it. Right. And so, you know, one of the things I would say is, you know, you might want to do some inquiry as to whether or not you’re really in the right relationship, because you can love tons of people, but it doesn’t mean that you’re totally in love with him, and you want to be in a partnership with them.

Kevin Anthony 29:04
Having said that, though, it’s entirely possible that you could create that love. And so we have a whole module in our sexual mastery, that is about creating the intimacy. And so she’s saying something like, why I love you, but I’m not really in love with you, it might just mean that she’s just lacking the intimacy and that that could be created.

Céline Remy 29:28
Yeah. And that’s the electricity, the polarity, the passion in the relationship. If you had that at the beginning, and it’s not there anymore, it’s simply you’ve become complacent in your relationship, where a lot of people fall into, it’s so easy when you’ve been living together for many years, you’ve been building a life. I mean, we even have to adjust each other.

Hey, we haven’t been having as much sex have we’ve fallen back into habits of like not prioritizing, being fully intimate taking the time for each other. And if you don’t course correct, very regularly, it becomes really easy to fall into the best friend category, you know, the one where you love each other so much, but then there’s no sex,

Kevin Anthony 30:08
there’s no spark, there’s no polarity. Exactly.

Céline Remy 30:10
So you gotta work on that. That what’s beautiful about working on that polarity working on the attraction and the passion is you don’t need the other person’s to do that you can be making all the challenges on your own in terms of becoming the man she wants, and she craves on igniting her feminine energy through your masculine power. When you do that, she won’t be like, she won’t be able to help it. But the response to the new energy that you put out there, now you can’t make changes with like, she needs to change this way or that way.

Céline Remy 30:45
You can only change yourself, and then you can hope that you will respond. But the thing is in the process of changing Who You Are you also loving yourself more becoming a better man. And so you become this better man, whether it’s for her or for your next relationship. That’s what I think is great.

Kevin Anthony 31:01
You know, you just dropped a huge truth bomb in there in like, passing. So I’m not sure everybody picked it up. So I just want to like, say it one more time. And I’m going to slightly restate it, which is you can’t change other people. You can only change yourself. Yeah, right. And so the little truth bomb that you dropped there very subtly was that yes, you can take steps now you don’t need to change her. If it’s a problem with creating polarity and intimacy, there’s a ton of things that you can do right now to change that.

Céline Remy 31:35
Mm-hmm. And then I’m going to say it and I know it might be hard to hear that. But I have to say that, you know, maybe she’s not really initiating sex and wanting sex because she’s not getting the sex that she wants and likes.

Kevin Anthony 31:49
Oh, you know, I saw that one on the list there. And I was like, oh, I’m gonna let Celine say that. I’m not going there. That’s got to come from a woman’s mouth. But yes, that is very possibly true.

Céline Remy 32:02
Yes. So, unfortunately, it doesn’t mean that you’re a bad lover. But what it means is you probably haven’t spoken with each other about what you like, and maybe the sex she liked at the beginning of the relationship has changed. Maybe you guys have had kids, maybe you’ve put on weight, and you’ve like 20 years older, and it’s like things change. And unless you’re having great communication and adjust, and you can’t always know these things. So it’s not all your fault.

Céline Remy 32:28
Maybe she’s not communicating, maybe she’s been putting up with something because she’s like, Oh, well, that’s how sex is. And she doesn’t want to hurt your feelings. But this really needs to have a really good conversation and honest conversation and be okay. Yes. I mean, if you’re willing to have this conversation with your wife, to me, that means that you’re having a step in the right direction. Because it’s mean, I’m willing to look at the places where I fall short, and I want to make you I want to make new things happen.

Céline Remy 32:59
I want to change who I am, you know, I want to become this better, man. And this, I think is worth everything. Even if let’s say you’ve fallen short, and the sex hasn’t been as good. The fact that you’re willing to change says a lot about your character.

Kevin Anthony 33:13
Yeah. And we’re not necessarily saying HJ that it’s your fault. But we’re also not saying it’s her fault, because it takes to write in any relationship. It takes both people. So we’re suggesting to look at both sides of the equation and see what you can do.

Céline Remy 33:30
Yes. So we hope this was helpful, and that you got some good inspiration. As always, we love having your questions and feel free to email us or go to our site arm and get the contact form to email us directly to send us your questions. It’s in the show notes. It’s on the website. So it’s everywhere. It’s easy to do. We love to hear from you. We appreciate you. Listening and chiming in and we love you.

Kevin Anthony 34:01
Alright, everybody. That’s it for this week, and we will see you next week. We hope you liked this episode of the love lab podcast. If you enjoyed this show, leave a comment and share it with your friends.

Céline Remy 34:18
And if you want more, we have an entire digital library with the best sex tips and Relationship Advice at Celine Remy.com. That’s kevinanthonycoaching.com. So join us in the sex vault to continue this adventure. Thanks for listening, and remember, you’re amazing.