The Extended Orgasm Practice

Kevin Anthony 0:11
Welcome to the Love Lab podcast a safe place to get real about sex. Whether you’re a man or woman, single or couple, this is the show for you.

Céline Remy 0:20
We are your hosts, Kevin Anthony and Céline Remy and we are here to guide you to go from good to amazing in the bedroom and beyond.

Kevin Anthony 0:27
Welcome back to the Love Lab podcast. This is episode 211. And it’s titled The extended orgasm practice with Alicia Davon. Okay, so you know, a lot of people have heard of the extended orgasm practice, or maybe other variations that are similar. But my experience has been a lot of people misunderstand what it actually is.

Kevin Anthony 0:53
And so today we have Alicia with us, which we’ll be introducing in a little bit. But we’re really going to dive into what is the practice. Why would you want to do it? How could it help your relationship? What are its benefits of it? What are maybe potential downsides of it? Who knows?

Céline Remy 1:10
And more specifically, how you can get started at home. So if you need a new practice, if you know you want something to take your connection to a new level, tune into today’s episode. I

Kevin Anthony 1:23
mean, come on. Who wouldn’t want an extended orgasm? Like I’m not sure says no to that. It was like, Yeah, you know that that 32nd One was plenty. Yeah, today.

Céline Remy 1:36
Lucky. Nobody says that. All right. Well, before we introduce our guests, let’s give a big shout-out to our sponsors. Power and mastery. So if you want to join the secret club of men who are great in bed and check out power and mastery at power and mastery.com it is the most complete sexual training for men. Whether you want to have harder erections, last longer, or increase your sexual skills. There is something for you at powerandmastery.com.

Kevin Anthony 2:07
All right, so today we have Alicia Davon, along with her husband Erwan did it right and has become the go. The go-to expert for those seeking a higher level of relationship support since 2003. Alicia specializes in supporting singles in getting into passionate and successful relationships and helping couples take their relationship to new heights of romance and intimacy.

Kevin Anthony 2:34
Based in the SF Bay Area, Alicia provides a high-end boutique service that gives her clients an effective way to enhance their relationships. She and Erawan offer all of their coaching and classes online and support students all over the world. So welcome to the Love Lab podcast, Alicia.

Alicia Davon 2:53
Great to be with you. Thanks for having me.

Kevin Anthony 2:56
My pleasure. All right, so we’re just gonna dive right in because who doesn’t want to know about extended orgasms? Can you give the listeners an overview of what the extended orgasm practice is? And we’ll go into you know, the benefits and all that kind of stuff. But just like, what does it entail? What is it really? What are we talking about? What are we talking about here?

Alicia Davon 3:22
Yes, yes. Well, I am sure for many people that are listening, it may sound a little mysterious, like what is extended orgasm or I can’t even have a regular orgasm. Or sometimes I have trouble with that. Or what can be better than the orgasms I’m already having? You know, people don’t really know what it is when you hear extended orgasms.

Alicia Davon 3:44
So extended orgasm, I’ll describe what it is and then describe the most optimal practice to create extended orgasm. So what extended orgasm is, is when we have what we call a traditional peak orgasm, like the orgasm that we all know, which is there’s some kind of build-up of sensation.

Alicia Davon 4:11
And then at a certain point, there’s a climax and you quote unquote, go over the edge maybe as a manual ejaculation or there’s like that rapid set of contractions and that extreme pleasure and it’s like we all love that and want that and want more of that. So that’s like an orgasm, right? There are certain signs, clinical signs that show that a person is in orgasm.

Alicia Davon 4:37
This was studied by Masters and Johnson back in I think the 60s. I mean, I remember just a quick side story. I was in college at UC Santa Barbara in California. And I was in my human sexuality class and the class was in this humongous lecture hall like hundreds and hundreds of students humongous big screen At the front of the room, and we were studying orgasm Masters and Johnson and there was this huge female vagina on the screen.

Alicia Davon 5:11
And they were like, This is what a woman looks like when she’s having these clinical signs of orgasm. And it was literally like the biggest one I had ever seen and everyone’s like, and they talked about the clinical signs of orgasm, which, of course, is the involuntary contractions in the genitals.

Alicia Davon 5:27
And there are other signs like flushing of the skin and increased heart rate and darkness around the eyes and engagement of the erectile tissue, like lips, and nipples, and genitals, and so on, there are about 12 cents. So, extended orgasm is being in a state of orgasm. So rather than it being like a nine to 12, second or 22nd experience, then it’s over.

Alicia Davon 5:57
Your body actually has the ability to when totally relaxed, and at a certain level of arousal, just released into a full body state of that orgasmic sensation and pleasure with all of those signs. So that’s what extended orgasm is extended over time extended throughout the body.

Céline Remy 6:22
And is it something that’s for the men, for the women? Both? What are we talking about here?

Alicia Davon 6:29
Everyone is capable of having extended orgasms throughout their body for a variety of reasons. In our school, we focus on female extended orgasm, and I can get into why later. And it’s not to the exclusion of male extended orgasm at all. We are all capable of it. It is a birthright.

Kevin Anthony 6:51
Well, you know, I have to say, I never had any fun classes like that in college. I really didn’t like my classes were statistics and money, credit and banking, and every math class you could possibly know pulsing vagina. No, no, I had an American government class. I mean, I studied business and political science at university. So yeah, I didn’t have any fun classes where there were giant vaginas on screens. Boy, I wish there was we would have had a field day with that one.

Alicia Davon 7:27
I studied psychology and that whole realm of things. So I got to take some pretty fun classes.

Kevin Anthony 7:32
Okay, so So the listener now understands what we’re talking about. I’m gonna kind of go off script a little bit here. Because the question that really begs to ask, and this comes from having many discussions with both clients and friends on this topic is, why would somebody want to do this?

Kevin Anthony 7:53
And let me just set this up for a minute. Because we have had discussions, we had friends over for a dinner party one time, and we were explaining, you know, the hours-long lovemaking and the multiple orgasms and things that we experience. And one of the guys just sat there and said, Why would you? Why would you want to do that? And in my mind, like, my head is exploding, because in my mind, why would you not want to do this? Like, who in their right mind says no to this? Like, you know, anyway, so my question to you is, why would somebody want to extend their orgasm?

Alicia Davon 8:29
Okay, this is a really good question. And you mentioned this in your intro also. Really, for the pleasure of it. That’s it. We live in a culture, there’s nothing wrong with it. But we live in a very production-oriented culture and results-oriented culture, and it’s sort of like, well, is this gonna get me? What is this going to accomplish? Why, and my experience is that pleasure is a worthwhile goal.

Alicia Davon 9:00
Just because I’ve never actually met anybody who, when it came down to it, didn’t really want to have more pleasure, not because they’re missing pleasure, unnecessarily. But just because, why not? Now, there are a lot of reasons why not. I mean, it’s kind of like, okay, if our bodies are capable of having this kind of pleasure, why are we not engaging in this all of the time, right?

Alicia Davon 9:29
I mean, there are a lot of reasons we have conditioning, particularly as women but men also around sexuality and pleasure and release and release of control. And you know, there’s a lot of psychological reasons and fears why one would not want to go there. So that’s a whole other topic totally worth going into, at some point.

Alicia Davon 9:55
But I’ll just say that is like a blanket statement that it’s completely valid. OLED and normal to feel like Ooh, no, no, I don’t know or feel afraid of that for some reason.

Kevin Anthony 10:07
Yeah, yeah. So I would add to so for the sheer pleasure of it, of course, right? Why not, it’s a healthy way to enjoy pleasure, it’s certainly a whole lot healthier than saying, Hey, let’s go out and get, you know, annihilated with alcohol or drugs or anything that people do when they’re seeking pleasure.

Kevin Anthony 10:23
But that really has a negative impact on themselves, their physical body, their relationships, all that. So for sure, that’s it. But I would also add to it, that if you can reach those deep levels of orgasmic pleasure with your partner, you’re also creating really deep bonds with that person. Right.

Kevin Anthony 10:45
So like the difference the way you bond with your partner when say, I don’t know, you have a one-night stand, and you have some, you know, sex, and it’s like, okay, we had some fast sex, we orgasm, that was great, sort of remember it in the morning, it’s nowhere near what you experience when you really go to those deep, deep places with your partner.

Kevin Anthony 11:06
And so just as a way of cultivating your relationship, deepening your relationship, the deeper you can go into that sexual ecstasy, I think it also has not just, Hey, that was great. And I enjoyed the pleasure. But also wow, we really also deepened our connection as well.

Alicia Davon 11:26
I’m really glad you brought that up. Because the way that we approach extended orgasm, it’s not even real, you know, the physical pleasure is amazing, obviously. But the pathway to having this, you know, full body release and pleasure is letting go of your mind, you know, that kind of peace and presence, that we all kind of crave as human beings.

Alicia Davon 11:58
I mean, we’re so caught up in our minds and distracted a lot of the time, that’s just kind of how life is. So the practice for one that might be interested in living beyond that is, you know, how do we release our minds?

Alicia Davon 12:13
How do we tap into that peace, that being that presence that’s required for extended orgasm, and then beyond that, the connection, like, what you’re talking about, the emotional intimacy, the connection, the presence with another, if you’re single, you can also have extended orgasm and pleasure yourself? So it’s available for anybody.

Alicia Davon 12:37
But if we’re talking about two people engaging in this practice together, it’s again required to really, you know, if you’re stroking somebody, we can talk about the optimal extended orgasm practice and position and all that stuff, because I think your listeners probably want to know, well, how do you do this? Really? Exactly.

Kevin Anthony 12:56
We’ll get there. Yeah, we’ll

Alicia Davon 12:57
get there. But it really requires, you know, if one person is pleasuring the other, that they’re so deeply connected to the person that’s receiving and vice versa. So that is, you know, right on what you’re saying if they’re not separate.

Céline Remy 13:14
So I think it’s would be good to kind of go into a bit of the how-to, but then I want to come back, I want to hear about Alicia has to experience with it. Because I want to see how it’s evolved over the years how it’s transformed, maybe your orgasms or your connection to your body. But I think it would make more sense for people to really have a good understanding for

Kevin Anthony 13:36
sure. Fuck the scripts. That’s how we roll here on the Love Lab. Yeah, well, that’s, that’s

Alicia Davon 13:45
good. So you want me to say how to how

Céline Remy 13:49
so we get really clear about what’s happening here. What are we touching? who’s doing what?

Alicia Davon 13:55
Yeah, okay? For how long? When and how often, okay, so Erwan and I have found the most optimal way to create an extended orgasm in somebody’s body or have it created in your own body. So we’ll talk kind of two people practicing together right now. Okay, and but I am saying, you know, if someone who’s single or they like to pleasure themselves, you can completely have extended orgasm.

Alicia Davon 14:26
But if you’re with someone, let’s talk about female orgasms. The reason that we focus on the female orgasm is, first of all, because in a man-woman relationship, or just talking man-woman relationship, this can be mapped on to same-sex relationships. There’s a masculine role and a feminine role and it can completely be done there.

Alicia Davon 14:54
And we can get more into that if we want to, but let’s just first talk about this The woman’s body heals we have the heat and the turn on and the sensual energy biologically, in our bodies, you know, it’s like you watch it that PBS nature show and like the female lioness, she goes into heat, and then the male responds and goes to her, and then they mate.

Alicia Davon 15:19
And that’s how it is for female mammals. So attending to our orgasm, our sensual energy, is the juice for the sex act is the juice for the relationships. So attending to that, you get a lot of bang for your buck. The second reason is, in general, historically, female pleasure has been less attended to by men and women.

Alicia Davon 15:44
You know, I mean, most people know way more about men’s genitalia and how to pleasure it than a woman’s. I love men, it’s okay. It’s just sort of how things have developed. So we really like to focus on females first and pleasure.

Kevin Anthony 16:00
Yeah, we’re most amazed by you know, because Céline works with a lot of women. And we’re always amazed by women who come in and they’ve never even really looked at their own vagina. And they don’t even know the physiology of it and how it works. I’m like, you own it, how could you not know it? Right, as we know, our penis is inside and out frontwards and backward, trust me. Totally.

Alicia Davon 16:22
Yeah, there’s, there’s a, you know, it’s another topic. But in our classes, we have a bit, we’re actually in the middle of a series. Now in one of our classes, mastery of relationships is all about female sexual psychology. And it really comes down to the conditioning and the shame and the like, ooh, don’t touch and down there, and it’s 30.

Alicia Davon 16:40
And you know, just that conditioning we all get, right? So there are a lot of good reasons for that. It’s a mystery. So let’s say there’s a man and a woman, the optimal way to create an extended orgasm is with, there’s a giver, and there’s a receiver. Often in sex acts, you know, people are sort of trying to give and receive at the same time, and that can work, you know, but it’s a more advanced skill, to really be able to stay in your own body and feel and receive and also to give and pay attention.

Alicia Davon 17:13
So, manual stimulation of the clitoris is the best way to create extended orgasm in a woman’s body. So the way it looks is a woman would be lying down comfortably, let’s say on the bed. The man would sit up by her side, the man is clothed. There’s no like, Okay, I’m going to do you you do me this is like, let me pleasure you. It’s optimal because the woman who’s receiving the touch gets to be very, very relaxed, not doing anything except feeling your body.

Alicia Davon 17:51
And then the man sitting up by her side, you have full access to her genitals, you can see her genitals you know, we’re like, you’re not fumbling around in the dark, your light on there. And then you use your index finger to stroke her clitoris. Now there’s some lead-up to this, you don’t want to just go right in for the clitoris. Right, you might want to do some nice pleasurable touch and hand on heart, hands-on abdomen first and massaging of the thigh is and kind of generally warming up, eventually stroking the clitoris.

Alicia Davon 18:28
It’s a really great seated position as well because you can communicate really easily. You know, there’s a whole communication style that we teach where the person receiving can ask for what they want. I mean, isn’t that one of the challenges, right? Somebody’s touching us. And we kind of wanted a little different, but we don’t know how to say it. And yeah, you can ask for what you want, you know, the stroker can see what’s going on can ask, Oh, would you like this?

Alicia Davon 18:54
Would you like that? So it’s optimal for relaxation, which is the main ingredient of extended orgasm, and it’s optimal for arousal. Now, you’re having your clitoris stroked. A lot of women feel that their clitoris is are either too sensitive or not are like numb. So there are different types of pressure you can use on the clitoris. depending on what’s feeling good to the woman, there’s pace, you generally want to go more slowly than you think.

Alicia Davon 19:27
But create a rhythm. So there’s a lot of technique around it, but the main ingredient is presence, and like feeling each stroke and being present with each other as you’re doing it. So I’ll stop there to see what questions you have.

Kevin Anthony 19:41
Great, perfect place to pause. You know, the basics of it sound rather simple. Right? So I don’t think that our listeners will misunderstand what you’ve already laid out. But I do want to make a point. for them to realize that even though it’s physically simple, there actually is a significant amount to it, because one of the big pieces that you just mentioned was presence, right, which is something that we teach a lot.

Kevin Anthony 20:13
And unfortunately, a lot of men have no idea what that really means. Right? So a lot of men will show up to this practice, and then just be like, Okay, here’s your clitoris bearer, right? Oh, yeah, you know, think about whatever you know, and not really being focused on what’s happening and being really present.

Kevin Anthony 20:33
So that’s a huge skill. And that’s not something that you can really learn overnight, or Honestly, even in a weekend workshop, like if you go to a workshop and learn how to do this program, and they’re teaching you presence piece, you’re probably going to have to practice that for months before you can really do it. Right. So even though the practice seems simple, there’s a lot of subtlety to it, that you’re going to need some time and some practice to really, really get that.

Kevin Anthony 21:00
So I kind of wanted people to understand that, right? Because they listen to this show me, they’re gonna say, Oh, I’m gonna go home and spread your legs. And I’m just gonna play with your clit. And let’s see what happens, right? Like there actually is more to it than that.

Céline Remy 21:10
I also wanted to be the devil’s advocate and be like, Okay, those who know a little bit about this and might have heard about a practice called oming, which is also stroking of the cliffs. Like, is this different? Is this the same? Where are we at?

Kevin Anthony 21:24
Thank you for bringing that up. Because obviously, if people have even a little bit of knowledge of this, the first thing they think of is, oh, they’re talking about omega. So that’s the big pink elephant in the corner of the room. So perfect time to address the differences here between this and what omega is the floor is yours.

Alicia Davon 21:43
Okay, good. So I’ll speak from my own experience working with people who have experienced oming and have experienced extended orgasm. So a lot of people don’t know that oming was created out of the extended orgasm practice. So Erawan This is far before he and I met, he learned back then it was called deliberate orgasm. Yeah, he was studying with an organization of people that were teaching deliberate orgasm.

Alicia Davon 22:19
And he learned it, he started teaching it, he kind of made it his own eventually started calling it extended orgasm. And then the woman that created oming, actually learned about it from Erawan, a long time ago. And then had asked to teach with him and they were teaching together for a little bit. And then they stopped teaching together. It’s a whole story.

Alicia Davon 22:42
I won’t get into the details, but I was around during this time and saw how it all went down. And then she took the extended orgasm practice and made it her own, which is great, she called it oming, and it became very popular around the world, a lot of people learned how to teach it and practice it. And that’s what that is. That’s where it came from.

Alicia Davon 23:05
So if you saw somebody like from a distance, if you saw somebody practicing oming, and practicing extended orgasms side by side, you might think, well, this is the same thing, it sort of looks the same, the people are in the seated position and the woman’s lying down. Now, I’ve never practiced oming or been in that scenario. But what I’ve heard from students of ours that have done both, is that there are some differences.

Alicia Davon 23:33
So one difference is there’s a lot of focus on in oming. On one particular part of the clitoris of the upper left-hand quadrant, right, the upper left-hand quadrant is known as the most sensitive part of a woman’s clitoris. There’s truth to that. And what we’ve found over the years is that that very sensitive part kind of moves around as you’re engaging in the stroking practice.

Alicia Davon 24:04
So again, it comes back to presence as the stroker you really want to be feeling like, Oh, where am I feeling the most and my finger right now? Which means where is she feeling the most? And you’re kind of and it’s very subtle, you know? It’s not like big movements around but oh, this little millimeter and oh, wow, interesting. I go over to the right side of her clit and I’m feeling the most right now.

Alicia Davon 24:28
So there’s more nuance and subtlety and there’s a kind of permission to move around the clitoris and move with presence. The communication style and extended orgasm seem to be more robust. There’s not a lot of back and forth communication in the oming practice as far as I’ve seen. And we also teach extended orgasm as a two-handed practice.

Alicia Davon 24:56
Okay, so there’s the left index finger that’s the stroking finger, whether you’re a lefty or righty that stroking the clitoris, similar in both practices, but we also incorporate the right-hand slides underneath the butt of the woman, you just slide it underneath, it’s like a nice grounding, anchoring feeling. And then you can use your thumb to stroke the opening of her vagina. It’s called the introit is the opening to the vaginal canal.

Alicia Davon 25:31
You’re not necessarily inserting your thumb, maybe at the end, you’re inserting to kind of bring her down. But it’s more like, it’s like you’re playing an instrument, you know, it’s like a two-handed practice. And then finally, in the extended orgasm practice, there is a lot of focus on the emotional connection, the spiritual connection, and presence. So I’ll just stop there to see if you have any questions on that.

Kevin Anthony 26:00
Yeah, so that’s great. You really, you really explained where it came from. And then the differences between the two. Yeah, we talked about this in the pre-interview too. Like when I hear these stories, it reminds me so much of the martial arts world because it’s something I spent a long time and it’s like, this happens all the time, where a master teaches a student, that student then becomes a master, but then they have a falling out.

Kevin Anthony 26:23
And then they don’t ever talk to each other again, and they create their own forms. They call it this thing, and they call it this thing. But really, the basic form is the same no matter what, but they always give it their own little flavor, their own little tweak. And it’s just it’s kind of hysterical. There are so many of those in the martial arts world that you lose count after a while this one doesn’t talk to this one doesn’t talk. Got it makes me laugh.

Kevin Anthony 26:46
The other thing that I would just point out about that particular situation is that you know, a lot of people are aware of some stuff that went down within the oming organization that was really not cool. It was more like a cult to the way that well, it’s been described as a call to not only the business practices, and the marketing practices and all that, but some of the stuff that happened within the pizza core group of people that all live together and all of that, I just want to make a quick distinction between the organization and how the organization functions and the practice itself.

Kevin Anthony 27:21
Right. So it’s the difference between the messenger and the message, right? So the messenger is often flawed, but the message can still be good. And so you see this a lot with gurus all the time. Maybe they have a great spiritual message to give. But they had some sort of flaw where they were competitive compulsive sex addicts or something like that.

Kevin Anthony 27:41
And everyone’s like, Oh, see, everything you said was a lie. Right? Let’s not go that right. So just because “oming” had a problem with its organization, doesn’t mean that the practice isn’t necessarily good or beneficial.

Alicia Davon 27:55
Yeah, it’s a great point. Of course, it’s the don’t throw the baby out with the bathwater thing, right? I mean, yeah, everyone had to kind of separate because of some of the things that you’re talking about. So there’s no association between the two organizations that the practice, I mean, more, click stroking right, as much click stroking as possible. How, who cares? How what you know, it’s like, that’s a good thing. Having more

Kevin Anthony 28:20
making the world a better place.

Alicia Davon 28:23
I’m telling you, so I think it’s great. You know, I mean, I think it’s beautiful.

Céline Remy 28:28
So what about the women who are listening and wondering like, well, I know how to stroke my kids? I like to do this, it takes me three minutes. takes me five minutes. Why would I give it more time? Or like, I can’t even relax or do this? you know, these are all questions that obviously my clients bring to me. It’s I’m just curious about your opinion.

Alicia Davon 28:52
Yeah, yeah. It’s seen when we’re in the realm of pleasure. We don’t want to have any shoulds like, I’m not here to be like, well, people should have extended orgasm. And if they’re not, like, it’s bad, and they’re not good enough, and all of this, it really just wants to call to you, you know, like, oh, that sounds nice. You know, like, I like my three-minute orgasms. However, I have them great.

Alicia Davon 29:18
Do them as much as you want to. And if it kind of feels compelling, like Wow, I wonder, wow, my body’s capable of having extended orgasm and I can be relaxed and it’s like, not a goal orientation, but it’s something that I can just relax into and feel and have that color my life, you know, with more vital energy, like That sounds fun.

Alicia Davon 29:42
You know, that’s, and the other thing is, I get this question a lot. Erawan and I do demonstrations of extended orgasm where we do the practice in front of a big crowd of people. And we also do it online now. To make it more accessible for people, and I always get this question, it’s some version of like wool.

Alicia Davon 30:05
You know, if you’re like, female empowerment, you know, owning your own pleasure, why do you need him to give you the pleasure? And you know, that kind of thing? And my answer is always some version of I don’t need it.

Alicia Davon 30:20
But I like it. I mean, there’s something about being able to be completely at the effect of someone else that you trust, you know, that’s a good choice to be at the effect of, you can go further, you know, or have more when you aren’t being a giver and receiver for yourself. And again, it’s just, it’s pleasure.

Kevin Anthony 30:42
This is one of the biggest dumbest things that the feminist movement does. Yeah, why you don’t need a man, what do you need? For like, the correct place is you don’t need him, but you want him. There’s a dynamic that’s created between the two of you, that isn’t there when you’re by yourself? I’m not gonna say it’s better, necessarily, maybe some people think it is.

Kevin Anthony 31:06
But it’s different. It’s a different dynamic. And then, of course, what you’re describing is, that one of the things you said at the very beginning of this is to really get into this extended orgasm, you have to be completely relaxed, right? The only way? Well, the easiest way, at least, is to be fully relaxed, it does not have to do anything. Right? So if you actually have to be the one doing it, you’re doing something now your brain is engaged, right?

Kevin Anthony 31:33
Now you’re thinking, Am I doing the stroke, right? Am I hitting the upper left quadrant? Is this taking too long, right? Like, maybe I’m not gonna get there, all this crap coming in your head, that’s gonna block you from being able to really get there. Whereas if you have a man who’s helping you, you can just let go of all of that and just sit back, let your eyes roll to the back of your head and pleasure and joy, you don’t have to do any of that stuff.

Alicia Davon 31:58
Yes, indeed.

Céline Remy 32:00
And I can see this so much potential for one of the elements that so many women crave is safety. And, somehow, and we did a whole show on that, and we did, it’s a great one, somehow, a lot of men don’t always know how to create it. But this practice can really start to put the seeds for that safety, that trust that respect, in the communication.

Alicia Davon 32:24
Mm-hmm. Yes, presence creates safety. And, you know, usually, I mean, of course, there are situations that are, you know, objectively unsafe, you know, sexually that people find themselves in, but normally, it’s kind of like, we just carry a sense of unsafety because of past experiences, or just feeling conflicted about our own sexuality or not feeling connected to our partner or something like that.

Alicia Davon 32:54
And it’s, it’s a big deal to really let someone else kind of have their strength and surrender yourself into their hands. And I like to think about it really is surrendering into to your own pleasure, you know, it’s really nice, like you’re saying, to be able to, like, relax and let go and feel.

Alicia Davon 33:19
And sometimes that’s more difficult, either at a certain time for a couple like maybe they’re it’s been a while since you’ve been intimate or sexual, either because you’ve had kids or you’ve just been together for a while, or there’s been some issue in the relationship.

Alicia Davon 33:35
And this practice is also really nice because it can be used either as a stepping stone to other sex acts, or just a beautiful practice in and of itself. That’s pretty benign. You know, and, but so pleasurable for both, even if the man is the giver and the stroker. It can be extremely pleasurable.

Céline Remy 34:00
I want to have some clarity around. When do we stop? Is there a timer? Is this Is it the orgasm, or what makes it that we’re like, Okay, this is the end.

Alicia Davon 34:13
Great question. Yes. Because the orientation of extended orgasm is pleasure, not a goal. So it’s not even, it sometimes takes a bit for people to get this. So who, however, whoever’s listening, don’t worry if this makes sense or not, but usually, when we approached orgasm, we’re like, Okay, I gotta get to the orgasm, obviously, right? And sometimes that’s through tension or fast rubbing or whatever it is.

Alicia Davon 34:40
And that’s all fine. When you’ve really released an extended orgasm, the experience is that experience of going over the edge climaxing. But if it’s, it’s continual, you’re not getting there. If you’re tense your body naturally releases into that. So it’s incredibly blissful. And some people are like, Oh my god, I’d be so exhausted. But no, because you’re relaxed, so there’s nowhere to get to. So to your question, a timer is a perfectly fine thing to do.

Alicia Davon 35:17
We recommend when people start practicing this, you know, they might be a practice that 10-15 -20 minutes, you know, at the most, because you really want to be present with each other and really feeling you don’t want to like keep stroking if the person being stroked is sort of done and not feeling and numbed out or whatever, right. So the goal isn’t a climax, the goal is, are pleasure and connection.

Alicia Davon 35:41
So you can set a timer. Sometimes we say you can do it kind of for the length of a song because it’s kind of nice, you can follow the flow of the song. It’s often more comfortable, especially at the beginning for the receiver to know hey, we’re going to do this for five minutes.

Alicia Davon 35:58
So we’re going to do this for 20 minutes or whatever. So and there’s with the technique, ways that you can kind of signify okay, we’re ending now. You know, firmer pressure, slower strokes, so it’s not hinging on. Okay, have a climax.

Kevin Anthony 36:17
Yeah. And, you know, you don’t want to just abruptly stop either.

Alicia Davon 36:23
Yeah, surefire way to have a fight. Like, ah.

Kevin Anthony 36:30
All right, so we’ve got a ton of questions, and not very much time left, let’s take a quick break for our next sponsor, and then we’re gonna get into your personal experience a little bit. Okay? Are you a committed couple who was stuck in a rut or just going through the daily motions, instead of connecting the way that you used to, or you’re tired of stale mechanical sects that lack spontaneity and fun, and you don’t want to live a life of average, then we’d like to invite you to join our highly six power couple platinum program

Kevin Anthony 36:59
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Kevin Anthony 37:23
So if that sounds like something you want to do, go to Céline remy.com forward slash passion that is Céline remy.com, forward slash passion. Okay, now that the sponsors are out of the way. So this is a great conversation. It’s really fascinating. And since we have somebody here, who is an expert in the practice, we really want to know how, what your personal experience is with this, and how maybe that’s evolved over the years that you and Erawan have been together having been doing this practice. And then, later on, I want to hear what it’s like for you to perform this in front of large groups of people.

Alicia Davon 38:05
Yes, I knew that question was coming. Okay. So I’ll start by saying, sometimes people hear this about me, and they’re like, where did you grow up? Like, why are you so out there or something, I had a very lovely and conventional upbringing. I just got back from LA visiting my parents for a week with my son, I adore them.

Alicia Davon 38:27
They’re the best totally conventional. I grew up in a suburb of LA and my father is a physician, my mom was a stay-at-home mom, and I have a brother, you know, my parents still live in the same house that I grew up in. Lucky for me, it’s so beautiful and cozy. And I won’t go into my entire whole story that would take forever.

Alicia Davon 38:46
But you know, I studied psychology and went into therapy during college and was just kind of found my way into studying female sexuality and psychology because that was what I was really, really interested in. And friend when I was in my graduate program, getting my master’s in psychology, a friend of mine was like, You need to meet this guy. Erwan.

Alicia Davon 39:07
You know, he teaches these classes. And there’s a course called the pleasure course. And there’s this interesting technique, the extended orgasm that brings together presidents and set them like, take me to this guy. I need to meet them

Kevin Anthony 39:19
to your leader,

Alicia Davon 39:20
your leader, yes. And so I met him, she brought me over to his place where he was teaching like a communication games group that night or something. And I just remember walking into his apartment in San Francisco and it was like crossing a threshold and it was like coming on to a drug. I mean, nobody was on drugs. There was just like the presence and the connection and that really great feeling you get. I felt at home.

Alicia Davon 39:45
And I was in another relationship at the time yadda a bunch of months went by I ended up dating Erawan Okay, so I’m like, he’s hot. I need to get to know him. So I’m over at his house and I had a pretty good kind of orgasmic Life before that, I guess I could have orgasms. I love sex. And I really wanted to try the extended orgasm practice someone wants these extended orgasm things as I’ll show you.

Alicia Davon 40:11
So we go into walk into my, not as office, it was his bedroom, we were dating. And he had this like a red light bulb in his lamp, and it was casting this amazing glow. And he’s like, just lie down. And so he sat up by my side, got all set up. And he started stroking my clitoris. And I remember being like, at first I’m like, Wait, am I supposed to have an orgasm now?

Alicia Davon 40:36
Or am I supposed to do something and he was like, just feel my finger on your clitoris? Like, feel every stroke? I’m stroking up. Do you feel that? I’m like, yes. It’s like, okay, I’m going down. Yes, yes, it was just feeling the actual contact between us. And every time I would have kind of an involuntary contraction, like a sign of orgasm. He’d be like, Oh, wow, that was, Wow, I just felt a contraction. It was like this dude was sportscasting. The orgasm.

Alicia Davon 41:08
And I’m like, This is crazy. So it was a little it was different. It felt really good. I felt complete, you know, expansive, like that high. Feeling very aware, very tuned into my body. And about, you know, 15 minutes in, he was like, Okay, great. I’m going to bring you down. Now I’m going to give you some firmer pressure. And I’m like, wow, I just felt so good with like he was so with me. In my experience, there was no low.

Alicia Davon 41:38
So my body felt amazing, Buzzy, and alive. And that was my first experience of extended orgasm. So of course, I’m gonna hold on to this guy, right? I’m like, this is great. Don’t mess this up, Alicia. So, we started dating, and then a few months into it. Let me see. Let me see where I want to go with this. Okay, I will tell you this part. So I wanted to visit the pleasure course this course he teaches I’m like, What is the thing you teach?

Alicia Davon 42:08
So he’s like, Oh, you can come to visit. And I thought I’d be sitting in the back of the room like observing this class. But no, I walk in. And it’s being led in this big house that he was now living in the south of San Francisco, 20 people living in this house like researching and studying orgasm, and that kind of thing. He put me in the course, like my seat was like, right in the front with this big group of people.

Alicia Davon 42:32
And I was in the experience. And I saw a woman do a demonstration of extended orgasm. And what the heck is this, this is amazing. And I got that was the day that I decided, Okay, I’m going to finish my master’s program. But I’m not going to go be a therapist, I’m going to join this group, this organization.

Alicia Davon 42:55
And so I’m like, sorry, Erawan, you’re stuck with me. I’m not only your girlfriend, but I need to do these classes with you. So there I was a few courses later, and I’d volunteer at all of them. And we were learning about the extended orgasm in the class. And back then we had people practicing the practice. This is way back in the early 2000s. Before this would have, you know, not work.

Alicia Davon 43:20
We don’t do that anymore. People don’t practice in our classes, everybody practices in the privacy of their own home. But Erawan said, hey, people are asking for a demonstration. Do you want to do it? I’m like, yeah, hi, I was in my early 20s In the middle of this course, didn’t have time to even think about it.

Alicia Davon 43:41
So then all of a sudden, there I am, like laying in this little like, nest on the floor, like 40 people in a crowd looking at me, and then Erawan and I did the extended orgasm practice in front of them with this beautiful music playing. And I was like just in the experience. And then I remember sitting up to face the group afterward, and I sit up.

Alicia Davon 44:04
And then I’m like eye to eye with my best friend and roommate who was in the course. And she just looked at me and she said, Goddess found was amazing. And I was like, oh, and I just felt so much love. So that was the first time I did a demonstration. And then it was like, I broke the seal. You know, I did it. I had done it. And I knew that it was fine. And I find it to be very educational. I mean, we’ve been doing this for 20 years. And it’s a beautiful experience.

Kevin Anthony 44:33
Yeah, I think you could Well, first of all, let me just say god damn have we gotten prudes in this society, like get together in a safe environment and practice this stuff anymore? So fucking ridiculous. But having said that, if you’re not going to be practicing it yourself. Like you could do all the PowerPoint presentations you want but until you really see it happen be like, it’s, you’re just not gonna get it, you’re just not gonna get it.

Kevin Anthony 45:04
And fortunately for you, you’re a woman. So performance anxiety is less of a thing than it is for guys. So then I’ve had sex in front of groups of people many times. Yeah. And yeah, it’s a whole different thing when you’re on the male side.

Alicia Davon 45:21
I bet I know, I can imagine.

Céline Remy 45:24
So how has your enjoyment of the extended orgasm practice changed over the 20 years? Do you still love it the same or less or what

Alicia Davon 45:34
happened? I haven’t found a ceiling, it increases. It’s kind of like when you really let go into life and being and it’s so naturally dynamic, and it shifts and changes, and the enjoyment potential increases. I haven’t found a ceiling on the pleasure of extended orgasm. And it’s also such a necessary ingredient in my relationship with Erawan.

Alicia Davon 46:01
You know, I mean, we’ve been together for 20 years, we’re married, we have a child we work together. I mean, there are so many factors that can knock us off course, as couples. We have tons of them and we’re also human and have issues like everyone. And the extended orgasm practice is a really great anchor. I mean, we practice it almost every day together. And sometimes we incorporate it into other sex acts, which is another conversation. But it’s just deeper all the time. It’s it’s incredible.

Kevin Anthony 46:34
No wonder she’s so happy. She’s getting her shirt every day.

Alicia Davon 46:39
That is the key men that are listening to this. Go to her clitoris. That is the key pair you

Kevin Anthony 46:45
go right there. Give her lots of orgasms and Strugar clitoris every day that is the secret to a successful relationship.

Alicia Davon 46:53
Well, Erawan jokes he would say this so I can say it. But he’s like an intense dude. You know, I mean, he’s got a crazy traumatic childhood grew up in Manhattan, that to that he’s a handful. But he’s like, I live in a state of grace. She forgives all my wrongdoings because

Céline Remy 47:13
of my Wi-Fi only take one thing from today’s show. That’s the thing.

Kevin Anthony 47:20
That’s the one right there. Okay, well, we are running short on time. So, unfortunately, we’re just going to have to get to our last two questions and skip a couple before that. But I think people have a pretty good idea of what it is and how it can change your life and all of that. So the next question, the next to last question is just you know, how does somebody get started? Like somebody wants to start this practice?

Alicia Davon 47:49
Yeah, you mean like on their own? Like how they would go mad or Well, however,

Kevin Anthony 47:53
like, you know, do you suggest that they go and take a workshop with you? Do you suggest they do your online programs? Do they just start on their own? They got somebody’s listening to this and like, just amazing, I need to do this, like right now. Like, what did they do?

Alicia Davon 48:10
Okay, so there is it’s like perfect timing that we’re talking about right now. Because there’s a really easy way for people to get started with this that are listening. So we have several ways that people can work with us. Like we have a big kind of community weekly online group experience, we have private coaching.

Alicia Davon 48:30
We also do have this as a side note, a very advanced program where a couple can work with us privately and learn the extended orgasm practice like literally practice it in front of us, we verbally coach them, and we do demonstrations. So there is that people usually like to work with us in other ways first, because that is like a big commitment, right? And variant.

Alicia Davon 48:55
But we have a weekend class that’s online that’s coming up at the end of September, and it’s called the pleasure course. And it is a weekend diving into our whole method of how to create a successful relationship and sex life. So it’s not only about extended orgasm, we go into presence and meditation and dealing with your psychological patterns and masculine-feminine dynamics and communication and all sorts of stuff.

Alicia Davon 49:22
But there’s a big section on the second day on orgasm and extended orgasm. And we show a video demonstration we go through what orgasm is and is not and it provides a really good jumping-off point because you’ll see the practice and you’ll have it described to you and then we also give you a set of sensuality exercises to start with so that I can give the details whenever you guys are ready for me to do that. But that would be a really great place for people to start.

Céline Remy 49:55
Yeah, just give them the website or where to go, and then we’ll make sure we have the link It’s in the description below as well.

Alicia Davon 50:02
Yes. And I want to say and this is like a special thing, but I think I mentioned this when we talked earlier, I mean, based on you, too, I’m sure your listeners are super awesome. And ended orgasm is such a big deal. I mean, it’s like there’s so much potential. And there’s a lot to learn. So, I want to offer your listeners for the first 10 People that contact me about it, I will put them in the pleasure course for free.

Kevin Anthony 50:34
That’s big.

Alicia Davon 50:36
Yes, it’s September 24, and 25th. Online normally costs 295. But I’ll give you basically the two ways to contact me the first one is text to text our school, which is 415-308-9580. There’s also a link, people can click instead to contact me. So I’ll give that to you for the show notes.

Alicia Davon 51:05
Just say your name, say you heard about it on your podcast, and then the first 10 People will get free admission. And then anybody who contacts me after that, you can use the $100 off code and be in the course I just want you guys and your listeners to have access to it. Because it’s coming up. It’s like super timely.

Kevin Anthony 51:24
Yeah, that’s perfect. All right, well make sure that you get in the front of the line, although even if you even if you’re not at the front of the line, you still get 100 bucks off. So that’s pretty cool.

Céline Remy 51:35
Maybe you should take the course given

Kevin Anthony 51:37
why not? All day. All right, so we’ve got one last question. You want to ask the last question.

Céline Remy 51:46
Yes. It’s always a favorite. So, Alicia, what is your best sexual talent?

Alicia Davon 51:53
My best sexual talent, I would say is in pretty much no matter whatever situation, I can let go of my mind, put it aside and fully enjoy sex.

Kevin Anthony 52:10
You know, that’s a pretty damn good talent. Because you know what, most women just can’t do that.

Céline Remy 52:15
Correct. That’s the biggest roadblock. I think pretty much every woman I work with is how do I get out of my head? How do I enjoy sex? That’s this is what we work on all the time.

Alicia Davon 52:25
Yeah, yeah. It’s most people who have that issue. So it’s good to be able to overcome it.

Kevin Anthony 52:30
Well, of course. So if you do possess that talent, then that also means that you’re probably highly orgasmic because that’s the key to getting there.

Alicia Davon 52:39
Exactly.

Céline Remy 52:40
But don’t forget to get your clit stroke every single day.

Kevin Anthony 52:47
Day Keeps everything else away. All right, Alicia, thank you for being on the show. Thank you for explaining what you guys do and for bringing more orgasms to the world. We need more orgasms.

Alicia Davon 53:02
My pleasure. Thank you for having me.

Kevin Anthony 53:05
All right, everybody. That’s all the time we have for this episode. And we will see you next week. We hope you liked this episode of the Love Lab podcast. If you enjoy this show, subscribe. Leave us a review and share it with your friends.

Céline Remy 53:23
And for more free exclusive content. Join us in the passion vault at Céline remy.com/vault.

Kevin Anthony 53:37
Thanks for listening. And remember You are amazing