Our Sex Life Exposed

Kevin Anthony 0:11
Welcome to the love lab podcast a safe place to get real about sex. Whether you’re a man or woman, single or couple, this is the show for you.

Céline Remy 0:20
We are your hosts, Kevin Anthony and Celine Remy and we are here to guide you to go from good to amazing in the bedroom and beyond.

Kevin Anthony 0:28
Right, Welcome back to the love lab podcast. This is Episode 112. And it is titled “Our sex life exposed”. Yes, you heard that correctly. Our sex life as in saline and mine. So you know, we get a lot of questions from, you know, listeners and viewers on YouTube and they want to know stuff like Well, how do you guys you know, go from, you know, the stressful day to being in the space to make love or how do you do this or how do do that.

Kevin Anthony 1:01
So we thought we would kind of interview ourselves, but all of those questions into an episode, and be rather vulnerable about what our sex life looks like.

Céline Remy 1:12
What it really looks like. So today you’re going to have the good, the bad, the ugly, the dirty, and everything in between. So get ready.

Kevin Anthony 1:20
There’s no bad or ugly, sometimes a little dirty.

Céline Remy 1:25
I know it is all that fun to say. And that’s why I’m doing it. So before we tell you all about what we really do in the bedroom, let’s give a big shout out to our sponsor power and mastery.

Céline Remy 1:36
So if you want to join the secret club of men who are great in bed, then check out power in mastery at power and mastery.com. It is the most complete sexual mastery training for men. Whether you want to have harder, stronger erections and last longer or expand your sexual skills. There is something for you at powerandmastery.com.

Kevin Anthony 1:58
Alright, so before we dive In the first question, I would just like to say that it’s important for people to keep in mind that things will vary, right? We’re gonna give you a bunch of answers to a bunch of questions, and we’re gonna give you what sort of the norm the average is. But things vary. Sometimes it’s crazy off the charts. Sometimes it’s not right.

Kevin Anthony 2:19
So just keep in mind that this is kind of like, mostly what it looks like most of the time away. You know, we’ll, of course, talk about sometimes when it’s not so great, or sometimes when it’s really great. Mm-hmm. So just sort of keeping that in mind as we go through and answer the questions.

Céline Remy 2:34
Yes. And also remember that it is what works for us and it doesn’t mean that is what works for you. But our goal is to be as transparent as possible, and also demonstrate and be role models for you about how we talk about different things or needs or sexual fantasies and things like this so that it can inspire you to figure out for yourself how you can put these things into place.

Céline Remy 2:57
And so, you know, I think the first question that We want to dive into is like, Okay, how often do you guys really have sex? Because here we are, you know, like talking about sex every week you’re listening to us. I mean, our channel on YouTube is sex, sex sex, and you know, there’s some sprinkling of with relationship, but, but we are very much focused on intimacy, really. And maybe you’re thinking that we are having sex three times a day. And

Kevin Anthony 3:25
it’s really only twice.

Céline Remy 3:29
We said, we’re gonna be honest, Kevin, so you got to start

Kevin Anthony 3:33
out twice a day in my head.

Céline Remy 3:37
So before we answer that question, I’m super curious about what would your number be Kevin? If you could pick any number as like your ideal amount of sex that you’re having in a given week? We’ll take a week. What would it be for you?

Kevin Anthony 3:51
Yeah, that’s a great question, because, for me, it actually isn’t about the number. Oh, so in other words, what that number would be would really depend on What is happening in life? Right? So the more work I’m doing, the more tired I am, the more stressed I am, the less I’m actually going to want sex. But the more relaxed I am, the more free time I have, the more time we have to connect, the more I’m going to want sex.

Kevin Anthony 4:18
So that number isn’t really a constant. Right? So for instance, on a relaxed week, I might want sex literally five times or six times or seven times, or maybe more than once a day. But like that was last week. But in most weeks, I mean three times is like that’s about all I’ve got the energy for cuz you know, we’re working so hard all the time.

Céline Remy 4:43
So let’s put as the average if we take everything into consideration three to four times is about what would your ideal be kind of as a regular average? A week?

Kevin Anthony 4:55
Yeah, as an average. Yeah, yeah. Three to four. Okay, probably be Good.

Céline Remy 5:00
All right. So I like for me, I’m going to answer the question as well, what would it be? I kind of like it every other day. So that would come to bat free as well. Maybe sometimes for

Kevin Anthony 5:20
we’re in alignment there. Got a bathroom, somebody like, once every two weeks, the other person’s like seven days a week. That’s a problem.

Céline Remy 5:28
So we put our So for us, it seems like we are matching, which is great. I mean, we already knew that three to four times a week. And so now how often do we really have sex?

Kevin Anthony 5:43
That somewhat varies too. But I’d say two to three times a week.

Céline Remy 5:47
Yes, that was the number I was thinking as well. And then when we are more relaxed and we have more time we’ll make it to the floor. We tend to average more like a free but sometimes when we stretch style to super busy. It’s only two, but usually one of us will complain that it’s only been two.

Kevin Anthony 6:06
Oh, yes. If it’s only been two, somebody speaks up. We’ve kind of gotten off track here.

Céline Remy 6:12
Exactly. I love that, so we’re bringing this up because of notice that okay, so we know what we’re doing regularly. Lets it averages free. And when we noticing that we below this average, we don’t wait multiple months in weeks and be like, like, not say anything, pretty much that same week, or if not, it’s going to be the following week. We’re like, Hey, this is not good. We already not staying on track with what we like to do.

Kevin Anthony 6:44
You know, I would say to that, I believe and you can correct me if I’m wrong. I believe we’re actually really referring to penetration sex. Right. All right.

Céline Remy 6:53
Oh, that’s a good refrain. Yes, yes,

Kevin Anthony 6:55
absolutely. And I bring that up because like this past week, we only had penetration sex three times. Yes, we had sexual activity in connection. Four or five years.

Céline Remy 7:10
Yeah, so that does not include blowjobs are Kevin going down on me a little hand job and all of these things like we talking about penetration sex. Thank you for that good reframe. I mean, I think that it’s important for us to touch every day in a sexual way.

Céline Remy 7:25
No, it doesn’t have to lead anywhere, but when we wake up in the morning, pretty much every morning I will massage your testicles and squeeze your penis and kind of give you a little massage to get the energy going.

Kevin Anthony 7:36
Yeah, but and we talked about this a lot when we talk about maintaining a constant state of arousal. We teach us in our online courses as well when it comes to being a sexual master. But if you want that kind of contact and touch and play on a regular basis, you have to learn that it doesn’t have to go anywhere, right so there can’t be an agenda.

Kevin Anthony 7:55
It doesn’t have to lead to an orgasm or ejaculation or penetration sex or anything. Like that, we talk about it a lot. So we won’t focus on it too much today, but just know that’s how you can make that happen.

Céline Remy 8:05
So Kevin, now let’s move to our question number two, what does our sex look like?

Kevin Anthony 8:11
What does it look like? That’s a pretty broad question. There’s a lot of different ways you could answer it. Okay, I would say for us, on average, we’ll make love for about an hour. So sometimes less, sometimes more, again, depending on how stressed we are and how much time we have. But especially lately, we’ve been averaging much more around the hour mark.

Céline Remy 8:41
That’s true.

Kevin Anthony 8:44
And for us, while we do sometimes do some longer foreplay, foreplay tends to be a little shorter.

Céline Remy 8:53
Mm-hmm.

Kevin Anthony 8:54
That of course is because we are doing the constant state of arousal and we are sort of foreplay. all day long touching each other a lot. So we’re not going from zero to 100. So…

Céline Remy 9:06
Remember our definition of foreplay, you’ve probably heard it many times, but it’s worth repeating. Foreplay is the period of time in between each time you have sex. That’s what we consider foreplay. So we make sure that we have that touch regularly. And foreplay is constantly happening so that when we ready for penetration, we are rather ready.

Kevin Anthony 9:27
Oh, absolutely. Well, that’s an interesting thing too, because right, well, first of all, when you tell people that you had sex for an hour, they’re like, an hour, you know, and then you go, Well, yeah, and that’s just penetration. Like Wait, that’s not even with foreplay, kind of blows people’s minds. Honestly, I don’t. In my opinion, I don’t think an hour is all that long. Like, like, you know, we did do foreplay yesterday morning. And it was about an hour and a half about 30 minutes of foreplay in about an hour of penetration and I was like the Let’s keep going and you’re like I’m hungry.

Céline Remy 10:04
That’s true. It’s usually me who calls it off like because like, okay, I’ve had enough and Kevin still like going hard as a rock and be like, okay, fine, I’ll pull out. So, I want to add to what you’ve been saying about what does our sex look like. And there’s a big part that you haven’t yet talked about, which is orgasms and ejaculation. So ejaculation is never something that we expect every single time. And if you’ve listened to previous episodes, where we talked about our 30-day sex challenge, if you haven’t, you should go listen to it out of the 30 days, I think and it’s been a while that Kevin only ejaculated maybe four times or something like this. So

Kevin Anthony 10:43
In the 3o days, yeah, I think it was four during that challenge. And that is probably two more than I average, correct. Maybe even three more months. It’s only one

Céline Remy 10:53
Exactly. So the scenario I just gave the where I’m like, Okay, I’m done. Because a lot of People wonder, well, how are you done if ejaculation is not the end? And it’s like, well, it’s kind of like when you’re eating and you feel satiated, and you know to stop, or sometimes it’s just done with sex or like me, I was hungry yesterday morning. And I was like, I want to have breakfast.

Kevin Anthony 11:14
Yeah, well, so in like if we take yesterday as an example. So we had we started, I was just in the mood to go down in you, right. So I did, and you had a big explosive orgasm. Hmm. Then I immediately got on top of you and penetrated you.

Céline Remy 11:30
Mm-hmm.

Kevin Anthony 11:30
And then we made love for another hour after that, which did bring more orgasms. And so for you, so when people say, Well, how could you be done? You’re like, Well, okay, I’ve already had three orgasms. Oh, and you female ejaculate.

Céline Remy 11:46
I was gonna say you’ve got a big splash.

Kevin Anthony 11:50
So So to answer that question, like, how could you be done? You already have multiple orgasms. You’ve been having sex for an hour and a half and you ejaculate it. So it’s like, yeah, you pretty complete, like you went through a bunch of waves and you move tons of energy and it was great, right? multiple positions, different places throughout the room. I mean, yes, inside-outside

Céline Remy 12:11
Oh, kinky us.

Kevin Anthony 12:14
So I mean, that’s pretty easy to answer that question, right? Like, but of course, if you were like, Okay, I’m pretty spent and I’m hungry. So it’s time for a break. Right? That’s easy. I think the harder question to answer is on the men’s side, which is like, Well, how do you know that you’re done? Yes. And so here’s the thing. Once you’ve learned to separate your orgasm from your ejaculation, you have orgasms. I had multiple orgasmic waves throughout all of that, and it was awesome.

Kevin Anthony 12:42
And yeah, I still had a rock hard to hold on. And I was like, Yeah, I could still keep going. I could, let’s have some more waves. Why not? You know, it’s like, and at the same time, even though I could have five or 10 or however many more waves or, you know, smaller orgasms, and you know, get totally Like dizzy and to the point where I can’t walk across the room, because that happens sometimes. Yeah, I mean, I could do that. And I also don’t have to do that to feel like I am satiated or satisfied with the experience that we had.

Céline Remy 13:14
Awesome. In terms of possessions, do we have a routine? That’s always the same? Yes or no, I mean, I mean, there’s only so many positions you can do, but there are variations. I really do enjoy having Kevin on top. But then I also really enjoy being on top so we like to play with that to where the middle I’m like, Okay, let’s shift, and then when I’m in the mood doggie is really amazing. So I will ask for a doggy

Kevin Anthony 13:43
Every once in a while there’s a reverse cowgirl in there or sometimes it’s standing multiple different interesting standing positions. Yeah, we don’t really have a routine. We have our regulars that we tend to do more often. And then we just throw in different stuff, you know, whenever the moment sort of hits us.

Kevin Anthony 14:04
What’s interesting is, you know, a lot of people think, Oh, you know, if you do tantric sex, that means you’re going through the Kama Sutra and you know, doing all that. I mean, the Kama Sutra is cool and all. And there are some cool, different positions in there. But like, I would say that most of them are variations of kind of your standard positions. It’s just like, it’s the same thing but move your leg over here, or it’s the same thing but put a pillow here until your pelvis this way. Exactly. Right.

Céline Remy 14:33
So one thing to know is as a woman we are our cervix will move up and down within the vaginal canal depending on where you are in your fertile face. And so that will affect how deep you like penetration. And sometimes you will want a deeper penetration and your cervix is like yes, I can take all the pressure and I want to be robbed by a penis and sometimes it’s like, oh, I don’t really want to have it that deep. that angle.

Céline Remy 15:01
So it’s also very important to constantly pay attention to what feels good. And to not stick with something that doesn’t feel good. So it’s always about being giving each other feedback where something’s not so good and say, Okay, I like it a little slower right now. And then to say, like, Oh, this feels so good. These are literally things that I will say to Kevin when we’re in the moment was like, Oh, let me try with my leg up.

Céline Remy 15:24
And that would be like, I actually really didn’t work. It sounded better in my head. So I just laugh and we bring it down and we do something else. So these are like ways that we also adjust and stay in the moment.

Kevin Anthony 15:37
Yeah, and when we say like, you know, me on top, we’re sort of generalizing, but that could mean you know, the normal standard missionary that could mean your legs spread wide, either sides of the bed, it could mean your legs up over your head, it could mean your, your knees and your chest. Like there’s plenty of variations just in that one. absolute position.

Céline Remy 16:00
I just thought there was one more thing we didn’t say. We pretty much always have the light on because we like to see each other and we keep our eyes open.

Kevin Anthony 16:09
Oh, that’s a good point because it’s something that I don’t even think about because it’s normal. But I do realize that a lot of people like to have sex lights out under the covers can’t see a goddamn thing. Mm-hmm. Bad idea.

Céline Remy 16:22
very mad. And I love being able to look into your eyes. And there are moments that may be where one of us will close our eyes. Sometimes more would more happen during oral sex because one has their heads down and the other one’s up. But usually, during lovemaking, we really lock eyes and connect through for that.

Kevin Anthony 16:42
Yeah, I mean, maybe you guys have been together for a long time and you’ve let your buddies go, and maybe it’s not quite the beautiful sight that it used to be. But I’m sure there’s something that you can find that’s beautiful and attractive. So to me, it’s so funny because we know that that so much of the communication between individuals is nonverbal, right? So it’s facial expressions, it’s what our eyes are doing. It’s our body movement and language.

Kevin Anthony 17:15
You know, it’s our cheeks flush or not. I mean, there are so many visual acuity signs that you can look for. When you make love with lights out in the dark, you lose all of that. There have been a few times where it’s actually really few over the years, but there have been a few times where we’ve made love in the dark just because maybe like, we woke up in the middle of the night and because we couldn’t sleep and we’re like, hey, let’s make love. And it’s always weird when I can’t see you.

Céline Remy 17:47
Or when my parents were downstairs and we’re in that b&b when we were traveling. We’re trying to be super quiet and in the dark.

Kevin Anthony 17:56
Yeah, in a room with three walls.

Céline Remy 18:02
We told you we’re going to be very explicit and that you were going to get everything there. So I want to move on as, how do we transition from working to sexy times? Because you know that Kevin and I work together, we, live together, work together, share the company together, and there are so many times of the day we spend together. And so how do we do that transition?

Kevin Anthony 18:25
Okay, so this is a very common question that we get. And let me just say it upfront. It’s not always easy. It’s not I mean, you’re working all day long. You’re putting out fires, dealing with problems, you know, doing all kinds of usually technical things that you don’t really want to be doing. So how do you really do that? So for me, usually what I need is I need even if it’s just 10 minutes, 15 minutes, 20 minutes or something, I just need to sit down, relax, and not really do anything.

Céline Remy 18:58
Hmm.

Kevin Anthony 18:59
So If I can get that if I can get, you know, and usually what how that looks for us is, you know, okay, work is done. We’ve had dinner, we’ve done all the dishes, we’ve cleaned up the kitchen, and then we just go sit down on the couch, and connect. And we’ll just talk, we’ll just hold each other, just relax. And that that short little time is kind of really critical for me to be able to make that switch.

Kevin Anthony 19:28
And it’s kind of like, you know, I remember I remember my dad coming home from work, and this doesn’t really have anything to do with sex and my parents but, you know, I remember my dad coming home from work, and all he wanted to do was sit on the couch with his newspaper, you know, and just not be bothered. And it’s basically the exact same thing.

Kevin Anthony 19:48
You know, I mean, he used to get up super early in the morning, you’d be on the road by five o’clock, you’d have a long drive to work he’d work all day and a stupid job and then a long drive home and traffic and but all he wanted, like you just need that time to decompress a little bit. And it doesn’t necessarily have to belong. But if you can find the space to just do that, especially for a guy to like, I think that’s super important for us, you know, that whole like the flow of the cortisol levels that the testosterone starts to slowly rebuild.

Céline Remy 20:17
Yeah. That was an interesting thing because I would always prepare myself. So let’s say if our date night officially starts at six, I would make sure that I end work by five or 5.30 pm. I have time to decompress, maybe even get changed if I wanted to get changed or do something else that when six o’clock shows up, already rested.

Céline Remy 20:37
That was a sticky point for a while there because at the beginning, a few years back, I think we didn’t work as much and it was easier for you to be done and not be as stressed. Then we’ve been having a lot of work. And so basically you and work at 559 for a six o’clock date night. Remember, I used to feel a little bit triggered. It was something that would bother me because I was like you’re supposed to show up for date nights already done and like, and then basically would stress us out for the date night.

Céline Remy 21:06
And then we’d have to spend like, a good half hour, undoing the stress that was created from me complaining about you not being refreshed and ready for the day and not showing up at your best. And then you being triggered because you were already depleted. I mean, you kind of get the gist here of how things were happening.

Céline Remy 21:24
So I learned to let go, I think it’s the Swiss in me who likes to be so on time with everything. So I’m like, okay, that’s just how it is. And if it’s 6.15  pm really when we start, it’s all right, you know, as long as you show up, and it’s been much easier. So I have more compassion for you now.

Kevin Anthony 21:40
Yeah, well, you have to realize too, that, you know, if maybe if you have an office job where you’re just like pushing papers around, you know, like, it’s pretty easy to end on time, but especially when you’re dealing with technical things, you’re like, Okay, I got half an hour left. I need to do this task. Normal Attack, that task would be done in probably 20 minutes. But you never know what you’re going to get right?

Kevin Anthony 22:05
Once you start digging into the technical end of it, and you’re like, Ah, shit, this, this is not right or this isn’t working, or I got to get on the phone with support, you know, and then who knows how long we waiting on hold like this, there are a million things that you think in your mind, you’re going to be done by six. And there are a million things that get in the way and prevent you from finishing at the exact time that you thought you would,

Céline Remy 22:27
I still think that this is a place where we could do better, like ideally where we could show up better and that’s, you know, that on that Tuesday like you’re not gonna make that call and stuff like this. It’s a place we could like just, again, show up as our best as a takeaway is this, do your best to show up as your best that you can be at that moment. And so do whatever it takes. If you’re like really tired, go take a quick like refreshing shower or something so that you can show up and not just be like I’m so exhausted. I don’t want to do anything.

Céline Remy 22:59
However, if you are exhausted. Make sure that you are still showing up as you are and not canceling just because you’re tired. So there was a question that we got from one of our listener Elena, she basically wanted us to give some scenario around the dating activities because she’s like, she’s saying, for me, it’s sometimes hard to switch activity. It seems awkward to go from dinner to sexy game, sometimes they work sometimes not.

Céline Remy 23:25
So some ideas of transition from not sexy activity to sexy activity would be amazing. And so like we said, we have it in the calendar and we show up. We always will start with dinner, but we’re not trying to seduce each other. I think the first hour really of our date night is literally to unwind and to connect. So we’re not watching TV. We don’t have phones we talk about. If there’s something like something that’s on somebody’s mind, and they need to unload like a problem or whatever. But the idea is really to create the connection. And then what we do is after we have done with doing the dishes,

Céline Remy 24:00
And like Kevin said, oftentimes we’ll end up on the couch just for a few minutes to like, like, relax and, and snuggle and just be together, then we consciously take it to the bedroom. And most of the time we create games that help us to shift from the mood of like, okay, we were on the couch, or we were eating dinner to like, let’s be sexy.

Céline Remy 24:21
However, the game varies, sometimes we need laughter. And so we play tickling each other, or like touching each other. We had this really fun game that was like one word that could be interpreted anytime, anywhere by the other person. So you say one word, like stroke. And the other one can do anything with that word like stroke, anything that they want, right?

Kevin Anthony 24:46
They could stroke you know, your genitals or they could just stroke your cheek.

Céline Remy 24:50
Exactly

Kevin Anthony 24:51
And you don’t know which one they’re gonna do.

Céline Remy 24:53
And so we played that it was so fun because then you had to think like an like, sing and so you become really creative with one act. verb and the ever has to interpret it the way they want. And then you get to play with each other’s bodies right and touching each other. That was a really fun one. It really was appreciating each other as a big game that we do all the time. We’ve talked about it a lot.

Kevin Anthony 25:15
Yeah, absolutely. You know, so the games definitely work. There’s no doubt about that. But what I find is every once in a while, one of us is so stubbornly not present. For whatever reason, and you know what works almost every time somebody like that

Céline Remy 25:37
a sore thumb to receive, uh-huh,

Kevin Anthony 25:39
yes, massage Exactly. Whenever one of us has too much in our heads about whatever happened during the day and whatever business problem

Céline Remy 25:48
okay, lay down. I’m gonna rub you back or whatever body parts you want to be touched. Exactly.

Kevin Anthony 25:52
It works pretty much every time. The other thing that always works for me, at least anyway, is a blow job, blow job. So yeah, if I’m really stuck in my head and really like, add like not able to get there, a massage or blow job pretty much do it every day.

Céline Remy 26:10
I think it’s being able to get into your body. So whatever it takes to just touch each other and bring your attention to the Tash into feeling that.

Kevin Anthony 26:19
Sorry, yes, we

Céline Remy 26:22
Let’s talk let’s tell you about working with us now if you are a couple who is committed but you’re stuck in a rut, you know and you don’t know how to make date nights work for you. And your sex is just mechanical and just not as fun as it used to be and you want more of that spontaneity back because you don’t want to just have this life of average, then Kevin and I would like to invite you to join us into our highly sexed power couple Platinum program.

Céline Remy 26:49
So if you give us 90 days we will help you bring the passion back between the sheets so that you can be synched up sexually so that you can thrive with more purpose and passion. In life, so check out our program at saline remi.com forward slash passion.

Céline Remy 27:07
Alright, so Leyna, we hope that these were helpful scenarios to see. Then ideally, it’s just to really let go of any agenda. You know, we always say it’s about going for connection over perfection. So we do our best. Sometimes we just have lousy sex, per se, but sex is still sex, and it’s still good to connect. That’s how we see it.

Kevin Anthony 27:29
Yeah, I’m pretty sure are lousy sex is a lot of people spectacular sex, but

Céline Remy 27:35
I don’t know. It doesn’t matter. Yeah, it

Kevin Anthony 27:37
doesn’t it and that is the point.

Céline Remy 27:39
But what I love is sometimes we can both be like, yes, this really wasn’t our best and we laugh about it. And yeah, we’ll do better next time, you know,

Kevin Anthony 27:46
but the reason why I wanted to point that out was not that oh, our sex life is so great, but I can hear some people on the other end going, you know what? It’s because to us, it’s basically like, hey, any sex is good, right? Like you If it’s not the greatest, but I can hear a few people thinking on the other end of this broadcast going.

Kevin Anthony 28:07
Well, no, sometimes sex is really so bad that I don’t want to do it. And so I would suggest to anybody who’s feeling that way that you need to learn how to have better sex, because honestly, the worst sex that you two have, or three or four, however many should still be good enough to have said, I’m glad we did that.

Céline Remy 28:29
Yes, absolutely. So you know, why don’t we make sex a priority Really? And I think really it brings it comes down to you why most people don’t have clear was as to why they have sex beyond just like, hey, it’s fun and I have an orgasm. Why do I have sex with Kevin? Well, sure, it helps me to relax and be in my body and de-stress, but then I feel more love towards Kevin.

Céline Remy 28:57
Oftentimes, I feel happier. life becomes easier and more beautiful. I love how I feel recharged to uplifted. And then there are these times to when sex goes to places that are really hard to describe where I literally feel like I was on drugs without taking any drugs. And these are like fantastic times. So these are all reasons beyond like my why’s like quickly that are beyond just a pushing a button and it feels good.

Céline Remy 29:30
And when you know that, let’s say I’m tired or I’m not in the mood, or I’m having a hard time connecting. I just know that if I can stick with it long enough and get out of my own way. I will feel better afterward. And so if you know you why it will be easier to go for it.

Kevin Anthony 29:50
Yeah, absolutely. Definitely know your why. I mean, for me, number one is connection. You know, sex is a very intimate thing. And so you know, the more often we reach those levels, those depths of intimacy, the stronger Our relationship is. Yeah. Plus it produces all these amazing, you know, chemicals in our body that make us feel good and happy, and love each other more love ourselves more. And it’s just playing fun. Feels good. It reduces stress. I mean it all around makes life better.

Céline Remy 30:27
It really does. And so what do you think of it? If we take our average of three times a week, that’s literally like two half times a month? That’s not very often there are 30 days in a month so it’s less than half the time of like with having sex.

Céline Remy 30:42
There are so many more things that I do much more that are not exactly as fun as sex. So if you kind of think about this reframe then you can. It just makes things easier that you are willing to take the time to do those things.

Kevin Anthony 30:58

I keep lobbying for it. 30-day sex challenge part two. If you want

Céline Remy 31:03
to set for the day sex challenge, part two, email us getting enough requests that might motivate me, I need a little nudge in the butt right now. So your listeners to help us support Kevin

Kevin Anthony 31:16
in the butt. You know, if we do do a 30-day sex challenge part two, we’ll have to do it with a twist. So we’ll have to come up with some new like twist to make it different from the first time we did it.

Céline Remy 31:32
So how do we discuss sex and fantasies?

Kevin Anthony 31:36
How do we discuss sex in our fantasy? Oh, that’s a really easy one to answer totally, openly, and transparently. Like you’re allowed to say basically anything that you want. Like I’ll give one example of that. In last week’s episode, we interviewed a guest. And as we always do, we ask the question,

Céline Remy 31:59
what’s your best sex? talents.

Kevin Anthony 32:00
Yeah. We got one of the best answers we’ve ever heard to that where she kind of blushed a little bit. She said, well, she really likes to deep throat and she really likes to feel the sensation of choking from a man’s cock being shoved down her throat. By the way, she said that she female ejaculates whenever that happens. So after the show was over, I didn’t say this to her. Sara, if you’re listening. Hi. I said to Celine afterward.

Kevin Anthony 32:31
I think we were talking about how it was kind of a hot answer or something like that. I said, Yeah, I have to admit I did fantasize about her choking on my khaki jacket over the place. And I can say that because she doesn’t get triggered by it. Right? And she’s just like, yeah, that’s pretty hot. Right? So openly. And just like, Yeah, not holding anything back.

Céline Remy 32:53
Yeah. Sometimes we create containers where we’ll be like, hey, let’s talk about sex. Let’s meet tonight. And talk for an hour about things about sex. Or sometimes you could watch a movie or a porn movie or sex education movie and discuss some of the things or read erotica. These are good ways to stimulate conversations.

Céline Remy 33:15
I recommend not talking about sex during the sex per se, like, you know, like I do when I’m analyzing it and telling Kevin, what are you doing? And so it’s kind of not that great. So we recommend waiting after but we also have a lot of the time we do what were your highlights and lowlights of our sex today.

Céline Remy 33:33
That gives us after so after we’re done with lovemaking and we are cuddling and then we share with each other a moment or moments where we felt really good or if there’s there was something, in particular, that didn’t feel good. And that’s one way for us to check in regularly on what’s working, what’s not working. Yeah.

Kevin Anthony 33:52
For those people that have been around like sex-positive communities for a long time. The highlights and lowlights will sound very familiar. We don’t really do Do a formal process from Tell me what your highlights and your lowlights were just kinds of say, what was your favorite part about today?

Céline Remy 34:05
Yeah. Was there something that that didn’t work or that you would do differently? That allows you because you’re still connecting and snuggling and touching and you’re naked. So you don’t feel that connection. So you can say things sometimes that are a little difficult to say because you’re not like rejecting your partner, you’re still like really connecting when you do that.

Céline Remy 34:25
And so if there are more things sometimes to be discussed, is to take more time and explore outside of the sex too, because that’s good to talk about sex when you’re not in it. And so to map things out and get excited of what what you could create. So I want to share I want to talk about has our sex life changed over the years and how it if it did,

Kevin Anthony 34:49
so it’s a great question, you know? Yes, it has changed as you would expect. I would say in the Getting, there’s that like really sort of animalistic physical craves that we still get to occasionally. But in the beginning, it was there all the time. I would say that you had loud screaming orgasms a bit more often. Now they’re more diverse.

Céline Remy 35:21
Mm-hmm.

Kevin Anthony 35:24
What else has changed? Well, I think we’ve we actually go to deeper places now than we went in the beginning, for sure. So like these really deep levels of like, altered consciousness, maybe a good way to explain it. Mm-hmm.

Céline Remy 35:44
Which we’re more comfortable with each other and with our own bodies and exploring different things to so we’ve always been comfortable but I feel like we have an even deeper comfort that shows up or where we’re like, oh, let’s do this. Or let’s try That, oh, I’m going to ask for this, you know?

Kevin Anthony 36:02
Yeah, for sure. Yeah, it’s somewhat difficult to really say because, you know, in the beginning, when you’re first dating, aside from all those chemicals that are flowing, you know, we also didn’t live together. So we didn’t see each other every single day. And so there was time to build up anticipation and desire. Whereas you know, Now, of course, we know, we’re married. And we’ve lived together for a number of years.

Kevin Anthony 36:25
And it’s like, we work together, we live together, we do all this stuff. So you don’t have that same space to build up that desire. But that’s why everything else that we’ve talked about so far in this episode is so important to make it a priority and to go for connection over perfection and everything. We’ve talked about all that stuff. That’s why it’s so important because it is a little different. And

Céline Remy 36:48
so that kind of brings us to that last, the last question that I had here about how do we go back on track when we fall out because we are humans, and we will have weeks where we don’t reach the number of free and maybe it’s only two Two times a week or something happens and we don’t have like, as much sex, what do we do?

Céline Remy 37:06
We acknowledge it right away and we make it a priority. We just go like, we’re not going to watch any movies tonight or YouTube videos or whatever, we’re going to massage each other. we prioritize becoming physical again, we don’t always make it that it has to have intercourse, but at least we bring the touch back. And the connection most of the time it needs to that we talk about it and we take action right away.

Kevin Anthony 37:29
Yeah, yeah. So number one thing exactly what you said we acknowledge it, we talk about it, we say and this has happened several times over the years where we’ve gone through really stressful patches of like, way, overworking or whatever it is. And, and then one of us will say, you know, I’m not really happy with the level of sex that we’ve been having, and I’m not feeling like my needs are being met.

Kevin Anthony 37:52
I understand that we’re both very busy and tired, but I would love to see us try to course correct and see if we can get back to what’s normal for us. So we acknowledge it. That’s the first thing.

Céline Remy 38:04
And the second thing is we don’t blame each other. We don’t spend time on that.

Kevin Anthony 38:07
No, no. And then and then we take action, right? Yes. So it’s like, what happens when you fall off your bike, and you’re still a mile from home,

Céline Remy 38:15
you go right back on it and right back home.

Kevin Anthony 38:18
You pick up that bike and get back on even if your knees are bleeding, and you ride the fuck home.

Céline Remy 38:27
So we’re gonna leave you with our top seven sex tips for you, which we’ve already talked about. So we’re going to really quickly go through them if it’s kind of like a summary of everything that we’ve discussed. Number one, make sex a priority. Number two, schedule naked time together. Absolutely. If it’s not on the agenda, it’s not happening.

Céline Remy 38:48
Number three, go for connection, not perfection. Number four, don’t be afraid to fail. Like Kevin said earlier. Even with you. unis bleeding, you go back on that bike. Number five, just do it. Just do it. That’s it. Number six, it’s going to vary. So be okay with that don’t have expectations that everything has to be mind-blowing every single time. And number seven, speak up when you want something different.

Kevin Anthony 39:17
All right, those are great tips. And, you know, this has been about a 40-minute episode so far, give or take. I feel like we just scratched the surface. There’s so much more we can tell people about our sex life. I mean, even in the what is our sex life look like? Like, yeah, we gave you some of the basic details. There is so much more that could have potentially been covered.

Céline Remy 39:40
Ah, yeah. Well, you know, as always, if you have questions, more questions, want something else, email us the email is in our description. We’ll be happy to make a show for you or a video or something.

Kevin Anthony 39:51
Yeah, maybe we’ll save it for the movie. All right, everybody, that’s all the time we have and we will see you next week. We hope you like this episode of the love lab podcast. If you enjoy this show, subscribe, leave us a review and share it with your friends.

Céline Remy 40:12
And for more free exclusive content. Join us in the passion vault at kevinanthonycoaching.com/vault. Thanks for listening, and remember, you’re amazing